Disclaimer: This story is fiction and does not represent the real people that might be mentioned here. If you are under 18 or if it is illegal to read this in the country where you live, the city where you are, etc. then don't. Again, this is just some fantasy I concocted in my head so don't get insulted.
Author's Note: It's been awhile, huh? Anyways, here it is and I want to thank the people who wrote me about the story and to Nifty for having a site like this.
Chapter 16: Don't Wanna Lose Written by: "Bear"
The scenery could have been taken out of a fairy tale, as it was so picturesque that even the most gifted of painters would not do any of it any justice. The full moon hanged low over the purple sky with its reflections shining upon the slowly moving waters below. It was a calm and tranquil night as its waves carefully collided with the white sand beaches. A few palm trees outlined the area as to provide shade to its occupants but in this dark time it became guardians of the night bowing to the moon and hiding the few homes people set up in the area.
From a balcony of one of these homes you could see and appreciate this picturesque setting but what was occurring inside the room only contrasted to the tranquility of exterior. Soft long white drapes blew from the windows invading the gigantic room. The lighting was dusky with only the reflection of the moon from the waters providing light. Upon the king size bed a youth fought and cried with torment and agony. He squirmed as he lay in bed trying to control his emotions and his body. Exhausted as he was, painful as it is, all he could think of was the pleasure he wanted. "Oh, oh...please....please, stop..." the curly haired youth cried again and again. "I can't take it...can't take it anymore..." he yelled into the sereness of the night. Quickly as if to shut him up a pair of lips was placed upon his. The slithery tongue carefully invading his mouth as he unconsciously moaned from pleasure. The body that had engulfed his manhood carefully wriggled around as if to tease him more.
Moments later the lingering kiss left his mouth only bring back to Justin's brain the pain that his body was in. Justin could only watch as the youth sat up from his body and looked down upon him. "I'm not done yet." He simply said as he once again wriggled his hips as Justin's penis was slowly stroked upon the confines of his lover.
Justin instantly moaned in pleasure but also groaned from frustration. "Please...stop, I can't take it anymore. This is torture." He pleaded.
"But I love you Justin." He said slyly. "I'm not torturing you." He said with childlike innocence before tightening his ass muscles upon Justin's member.
"Oh..." Justin moaned. "Please." He simply said. "I can't hold off any longer. Please."
The youth slowly lowered his body upon Justin's so they were face to face. With a pout on his face he answered, "But I'm not done torturing you yet."
Justin guilefully brought his arms around his lover's back. "You have all our lives to torture me." Justin smiled his answered before shifting his weight and quickly turning around so that now he was on top. The youth stared at Justin with awe and surprise at Justin's quick movements. "Now, it's my turn." Justin said as he brought the youth's legs upon his shoulders. Within seconds Justin was slamming his manhood in and out of his lovers' ass. The last three and a half hours had been building up to this. He couldn't take it any longer as he assaulted his lover's hole with the girth and size of his member. He excitedly pushed up upon his lover's body so that he could get more access of him. Justin had him moaning from ecstasy as he quickly brought his penis in and out of his lover's body. Justin's built up excitement and built up frustration brought him to this point of mad love.
"Oh....ah, ah...ugh...oh, Just..." his lover moaned out every time Justin would slam his manhood back inside him. "Oh god...don't stop...yeah...don't stop" he exclaimed to arouse Justin more.
Justin worked himself into a quick sweat as he poured his whole body into their lovemaking. He was uncontrollable, crazed as he hurled his whole being upon his lover. And as the minutes passed, a built up of enormous proportions began in his loins and like a volcano erupting he embedded his seed upon his lover. "Ohh...yeah..yeah, yeah...ahhhh." Justin moaned his cum filled his lover.
Justin exhausted from their extreme lovemaking fell upon his lover's body. He breathes deeply as he tried to calm himself. He quickly places a small kiss upon his lover's lips as a sign of their love.
Justin woke up a little light as he tried to feel for a body next to him. He slowly opened his eyes to reveal the darkness that was still set upon the room. He looked around the bedroom but saw no one in sight. He quickly grabbed the thin white sheet upon the bed as he got up to cover his body. As he started walking he saw a dark figure outside the balcony. With the white sheet wrapped around him he walked towards the youth. "What are you doing here? Why aren't you in bed?" Justin questioned as he reached the doorway.
Not even startled, the youth looked back at Justin with a smile. "Just enjoying the sights." He answered.
Justin looked out upon the horizon and saw that it was indeed beautiful. He looked back upon his lover and a smiled entered his own face. "And enjoying it while nude, no doubt." Justin replied before walking up to him.
"It's dark...no one will notice." He said.
"Uh huh." Justin said before making his way to where his lover sat. Justin opened his blanket momentarily before sitting upon his lover's lap and then covering the both of them. "Still, I don't want anyone to see you like that. You're mine now so that means that this body," Justin said pointing to his lover, "this body is mine. And I don't like to share." Justin smiled his answer.
"Okay...okay," he replied as he wrapped is arms around Justin's bare torso. "Then the same goes for you."
"This is nice. I really like it here." Justin said taking in the setting that surrounded him.
"Do you really?" he asked.
"Yeah, its...its perfect."
"Good." He replied with his head nodding. "It's yours."
"Huh?" Justin asked as he looked at his lover.
He smiled back at him. "I said its yours. It's my gift for you."
Justin brought his arms around his lover's neck before bringing their faces together and looking each other straight in the eyes. "You've already given me the best gift in the world."
"Then I guess this could be an extra incentive."
Justin didn't reply but simply put his head down upon his lover's shoulder.
They shared a moment of silence together with the land and with nature. Everything seemed right and perfect at that moment. "So..." Justin said interrupting the silence. "How...how did you pull it off?"
"Pull what off?" he asked as Justin looked back at him sarcastically. "Oh you mean kidnapping you?"
"Yeah, what else." Justin replied.
"I have my ways." He replied. "I still have some secrets you know."
"Hey, I thought this meant there's no more secrets between us. You share everything with me and I share everything with you."
"We've got to keep a little mystery in our relationship, don't we? I wouldn't want you to get bored with me."
"I'll never get bored with you." Justin replied. "It's okay, I guess. I'll have all our lives to find out everything about you and then...I probably still wouldn't be bored with you." Justin continued.
"You're sweet." He replied before giving Justin a soft lingering kiss.
Justin quickly pulled back before slightly hitting him. "Hey...don't change the subject. I'm still mad at you for doing that. You scared the shit out of me."
"Oh...did little Nickie scare poor ol' Justin." He replied sarcastically.
"Hey...it wasn't funny. I thought I was getting kidnapped."
"You were and I did." Nick replied.
"I'm gonna get you back for that." Justin said.
"Oh yeah, how?" Nick asked daring him.
Justin sat there for a moment contemplating his revenge but suddenly he was pushed off to the ground as Nick stood up. "Ugh..." he groaned as he hit the ground. "I'm gonna get you." Justin yelled back.
"Yeah..yeah, what are you gonna do about it?" Nick asked as he ran back into the bedroom.
Justin quickly got off the ground and ran after Nick. He got into the bedroom and jump upon Nick who was lying on the bed. "I'm gonna do this." Justin replied as he placed his mouth upon Nick and brought both Nick's hands above his head. With Nick's body pinned down Justin held onto Nick's hands with his left.
"Ohh...I think I'm gonna like this." Nick replied as Justin lightly moved his right hand upon Nick's chest caressing it sensually.
Justin once again placed a small peck upon Nick's lips before looking at him straight in the eyes. "Oh, you're gonna love it, loverboy." Justin said sexually before bringing his right hand upon Nick's side and mercilessly tickling him.
+++++++++++
The blond haired, green-eyed youth couldn't contain himself in his seat. He kept moving around the leather couch that was set up inside the limo. It felt to him as if time was going slowly on purpose just to keep him at bay with his excitement. As the black limo came to a halt he was ready to jump out of his seat and out of the car.
Of course, being the one all the way inside, he had to wait for his bandmates to come out. As the door opened, the light peered into the darkened interior. It was like a sign of a new beginning or a new hope to him.
As the shortest member of the group stepped out, his friend stopped momentarily to look back at him. With a questioning look he stared his friend down, trying to make him move. A moment later, the other bandmate peered in, "What? Are you guys coming or not?" he asked.
His friend looked towards the voice and answered, "Give us a moment, okay Dev?"
"Okay. I'll meet you guys inside." He replied before closing the door.
"What's up? I wanna go man." The blond haired youth said.
"That." His friend answered looking at him up and down. "I want to talk to you about that."
"About what?" he answered back kind of getting irritated.
"I want you to be cool. Man, stay calm!"
"I am calm."
"No you're not. You're leg is shaking. Look." His friend answered back.
He made a conscious effort to stop from moving his leg. "See...it was just a reaction. No biggie."
"Yeah." His friend answered back rolling his eyes. "But for real, you have to keep your cool about you."
"I don't know what you're getting worked up about. I'm calm, it seems like you're the one with the problem dude."
"I've been watching you for the last couple of days. Each day was building up to the next and now I could see it in your eyes. They're big, like a deer in front of headlights...and I don't want you to get hit."
"I don't know what the hell you're talking about man. Come on, let's move." He said to his friend eyeing the door.
"No, listen to me first." He answered back putting his hands on the youth's shoulder stopping him from moving. "The guy in there. The guy you're gonna meet is not the same one you've been staring at those posters of yours. That guy in there is real, red blooded, living man. The fantasy man that you've got rolling around in your head is not going to be the same guy you meet in there."
"I know that." He tried to reassure his friend.
"No you don't. I can still see it in your eyes. I don't want you to get hurt. I don't want you to expect something and not get it. Try to be realistic here."
"I'm not expecting anything. I just wanna get in there man. Come on, let's go."
The dark haired youth just shook his head before opening the door to the limo and getting out. Not even a second later, his friend got out moving quickly to get into the arena. "You're just asking for it, man." He murmured to himself as he tried to catch up to the blond haired youth.
"Oh, there they are." He said to the four men standing before him as his bandmates came inside the arena. "They just had something to discuss in the limo, that's why they stayed behind for a minute." He said as his bandmates came up before them. "Hey guys, its nice for you to join us." He said to his bandmates.
"Sorry, we had something to talk about." The darked haired youth answered for him and his friend.
"Well, I want you to meet the guys we're opening for. This is AJ, Kevin, Howie, and Brian. And this is Brad, the guy behind him who's not paying attention is Rich."
Brad lightly nudged Rich on his side. "What?" he asked Brad. Brad simply pointed towards Devon and the guys behind him. "Oh, sorry. Hi, I'm Rich." He said reaching out his hand.
"Nice to meet you Rich, I'm Kevin."
"Hi, it's nice to meet you too."
"And this here is AJ" Kevin said as Rich and AJ shook hands, "And Howie and Brian." They all shook Rich's hand while Rich seemed to be losing interest in the conversation as he kept searching the arena.
Brad stepped in noticing the look Brian was giving Rich. "Hi, I'm Brad. You have to forgive him. He gets a little spacey sometimes." Giving Rich a bad look as he shook Brian's hand.
Brian laughed off the comment, "Oh, we have one too so don't worry about it. He's blond also."
"Where is Nick?" Rich suddenly blurted out.
Brad darted him an evil glare. Meanwhile, the other boys seemed surprised by the sudden attention Rich gave them. "Ah, I don't know exactly. Kevin?" AJ answered and asked.
"He's always late." Howie interjected.
It was Kevin's turn to give Howie the evil glare. "No, Nick called and said he was coming soon."
"Oh, okay." Rich replied sadly.
Suddenly everyone's attention was brought upon one side of the arena as a set of doors opened. "Nicholas Gene Carter, I'm gonna get you for this." An echo went through the arena as Nick ran down the aisle smiling with his face a little flushed.
As he came down to where everybody was standing he came to a stop. "Hey guys, what's up?" He asked happily.
Kevin just simply shook his head at Nick. "I want you to meet our opening act. Nick, this is Devon."
Nick smiled towards Devon and shook his hand. "Hi."
"And this is Brad." Kevin continued.
Nick shook his hand also, "Hi, how you doin'?" Nick said absent-mindedly as he took a quick glance towards the door he just came through.
"And then this is Rich." Kevin finally finished.
"Hey." Nick replied as he extended his hand but kept his attention towards the door.
Rich's heart, meanwhile, was beating a thousand per minute. He stared at Nick's face the moment he came in. It just seemed just like a dream as he saw Nick running towards them and now, finally meeting him in person. He slowly reached his hand out, kind of scared to touch man he's been dreaming about for the last couple of months. As their skins touch, Rich couldn't help utter the words that was in his mind. "Wow, you're more handsome in person."
Brad's eyes widened as he heard what Rich said. He quickly nudged Rich from his trans-like state. "Huh? Sorry." Nick said as he finally realized Rich said something to him, grabbing his attention away from the doors.
"Um...its nice meeting you." Rich replied back quickly.
"Yeah, me too." Nick said. "Oh shit...he's gonna kill me. Protect me Kevy." Nick said he moved behind Kevin as he eyed the figure walking down the same aisle as he did a couple minutes ago. With that said everybody watched as the man walked down to where everyone was. "Hi guys." He said nicely before giving a deadly stare towards Nick who was covering behind Kevin.
"Um...hey Just. What are you doing here and.all wet for that matter?" AJ questioned.
"Its...its because of that blondie over there behind Kevin. He asks me to come on tour with you guys and then he throws a bucket of water over me."
"I did not...and you can't prove it if I did." Nick yelled over Kevin's shoulder.
"Oh yes I can." Justin yelled out before lunging out for Nick. Nick who expected this had already started running away from the group out of the area with Justin only meters behind him.
A few of the guys laughed as a very wet Justin tried to catch up to Nick. "Justin's going on tour with us?" Brian asked out unconsciously over the others' laughter.
Kevin stopped giggling and looked over his cousin. "Yes he is. Justin is on vacation right now so he asked if he could hang out with us for awhile. So I said yes and confirmed it with management and they didn't object."
"But...but, how can he...how can he? I mean...I...where is he gonna stay? We're already full as it is." Brian tried to object.
"He's gonna stay with Nick. I asked Nick if it was okay and he was fine with it." Kevin said reassuringly.
"But...but. He's..." Brian said dejectedly before murmuring to himself. Soon enough Brian turned away from the group and walked away.
"What's up with him?" AJ asked.
"I don't know." Kevin shrugged. Howie meanwhile eyed Kevin curiously. He knew something more was behind what Kevin was saying.
Devon and Brad just simply stood there watching the whole situation because they knew it wasn't their place and they didn't have all the information. Rich meanwhile was still staring at the door that Nick and Justin went through over on the side of the arena. He felt a little pang of jealousy that it was Justin running after Nick and it wasn't him. He wanted Nick's attention the same way his attention was focused on Nick's. Meanwhile, Brad eyed his friend worriedly as he knew what Rich was thinking.
He felt for his friend because he knew that he would only get hurt.
+++++++++++++
Brian walked aimlessly through the long hallways of the arena. He was deep in thought after the events of the morning. `How could this happen?' he asked himself. He thought that this tour would represent a new beginning. A way to get things back to the old ways. A time when he was really happy and content in his life. A time when he felt unwavering love.
Then, Brian's attention was suddenly interrupted by footsteps and a voice behind him. He looked back and saw AJ running towards him. He stopped momentarily so that AJ could catch up to him. "Hey Rok, you okay man?"
Brian looked into AJ's eyes for an answer. "I guess I'm alright."
"You guess." AJ laughed out. "You either are or not."
"Yeah, I guess its kind of a stupid answer." Brian replied back as they started walking down the hall together.
"There you go again...guessing." AJ said.
"I...I don't know Bone."
"Come on Rok...you know we're buds. You can tell me anything." Brian immediately stopped. He knew he couldn't handle this by himself. It was killing him inside. The only thing that helped me was the thought that it might get better. He pushed back against the concrete wall and stood there closing his eyes. He tried to make a mental picture of what he wanted...what he wanted to say. Brian unconciously hit his head against the concrete wall a couple of times as he remembered. "Bri...stop, you might hurt yourself." AJ said distressed.
"I'm sorry Bone but it just really hurts when I start thinking about it."
"Then tell me..."
Brian let his legs falter as his body slid down to the floor. He brought his legs up to his chest and rested his chin upon it. "He came up after Christmas to Lexington" Brian said in a monotone voice. "He said that he couldn't love me anymore. That...that I would only hurt him if he would love me."
AJ kneeled down in front of Brian. "Who? Who came to you?" AJ asked.
Brian moved his eyes from the ground to AJ's face. "Nick." He answered plainly.
"What...what did he say?"
"He said that I hurt him. He said that he loved me but I didn't love him back. He said that he couldn't be loving for the both of us. He said that I was playing with his heart. He said that I wasn't there for him when he needed me. He said that he was in pain because of me. He said...he said" Brian tried to say as tears started to fall from his gloomy eyes. "He said that he couldn't wait for me to love him back. He said he...he couldn't wait till I realize that he was the best thing in my life. Oh God..." Brian said as he looked up at AJ. "Oh God...I'm so stupid AJ. I'm so fucking stupid. He is...he was right. Nick...Nick was the best thing in my life and I screwed up. I screwed up and let him go."
Brian sobbed harder as he grabbed onto AJ's shoulders. He cried upon his friend. AJ, surprised and bewildered by what Brian just told him simply held his friend for comfort.
+++++++++++++
"Yo...yo, stop. Stop." Devon yelled towards the band. "What's up with you Rich. You've been off the beat in every song. You miss your cue. What's the deal? You've been like this every since this morning."
Rich looked back to his bandmate apologetically. "I...I'm sorry. I guess I'm just out of it today."
"What...what happened? You were all pump yesterday?"
"I guess I just lost it." Rich answered plainly.
"Yeah, okay, whatever. Since this is pointless, let's get out of here." Devon said as he started walking out of the stage.
"I...I'm sorry man." Rich tried to yell out to him.
Meanwhile, Brad walked closer to Rich. "You okay?"
"I've...I've been better." Rich answered with his head down.
Brad casually brought his arm around his friend's shoulder and ushered him out of the stage. "Cheer up man. Do you remember what happened yesterday?" Brad tried to get a smile out of his friend. "You've met the man of your dreams. Of course it might not have been the perfect meeting you were wishing for but hey you still got to meet him." Rich simply nodded his head. "And you know what? You're gonna have the chance to spend the next two months with him. It might not all be what you were expecting but you guys could at least be friends. You know get to know him.
Hang out with him. It won't be that bad."
Rich contemplated over the idea for a minute. If he couldn't have Nick the way he wanted him. If he couldn't have Nick sexually then at least they could develop some kind of friendship. He knew he was wishing for too much. A Backstreet Boy actually being gay and then being attracted to him. What the hell was he thinking? It was just all a fantasy in his head. A fantasy that had him and Nick spending all of eternity forever in each other's arms. A fantasy that had him and Nick making sweet love to each other. A dream that held the two of them growing old together and seeing what the future held for them. Rich chided himself as he knew it was all too much to hope for. He looked at his friend Brad and nodded absentmindedly, "Yeah, you're right. At least I could be...Ugh" Rich said as he suddenly felt a burning sensation upon his chest and his eyesight black out.
"Ah...ah...I'm sorry. You okay, man?"
Rich shook his head for a couple of seconds trying to get his eyesight back. As his eyes opened to the world once again he finally saw where the owner of voice. "Huh?"
"Are...are you okay? I'm really sorry."
"I...um...I'm fine. Thanks." Rich said without thinking as he stared at the person piercing blue eyes. "No problem, anytime."
He arched his right eyebrow curiously as he heard Rich speak. "Um, sure. Are you sure you're okay?" He said as he got off Rich and offering a hand for help. Rich looked at his hand with great interest as the gesture meant something more to him than the beholder could ever know. The mere touch could send Rich into the heavens and hearing his voice was like a thousands angels singing to him. So as Rich brought up his own hand to his a shiver ran throughout his body. As he was standing once again he carefully peered onto the person's exquisite face. Each contour leading to another gorgeous and adorable part of him. His brilliant blond hair glistening off the light. As Rich admired him a couple of droplets fell onto his face. So as Rich look onto him, he saw his marvelous eyes leading to his strong nose and then to the gem of any treasure, his soft red lips. Lips that could promise the world and amend all that aches in your heart. "Hey...hey. You still alive in there?"
Rich shook himself from his daydream and replied, "Yeah, sorry...I'm fi..."
"Ahhhh," he screamed as he felt a cold spray of water hit his back.
"Payback is a bitch." Justin said triumphantly as he was holding a super soaker.
"You little..." Nick said as he turned towards his assailant. "You suck." As he walked closer to Justin.
"Yeah...yeah. You suck too and...swallow." Justin replied unwittingly.
"You...you..." Nick tried to say before grabbing the back of Justin's head and pulling him into a passionate kiss. Justin tried to fight it off at first but soon his desire for Nick overpowered him as Nick slipped in his tongue into Justin mouth. Justin caressed Nick's tongue within the confines of his mouth as he soon let go of everything and focused on the man he loved. Nick pulled back from the kiss joyously as now he had Justin's super soaker in his hand. Nick stepped back a couple of steps away before firing the spray toward Justin who was still lingering in reverie from their powerful kiss.
"Ahhhhh..." Justin screamed as their lustful kiss was replaced with cold water being sprayed at his body. As soon as Nick heard Justin's scream he was on the run. Justin took a moment as he saw a two shocked faces in front of him. He didn't know what to do so. He looked at Brad and Rich who was still absorbing everything that's just happened. "Um...Ahhhh...I'll see you later." Justin said giving up and running towards the corridor that Nick ran to.
On the way he saw Kevin leaning against the left side of the doorway. "Hey, looking for Nicky?" Kevin asked a flustered Justin.
"Uh huh." Justin quickly answered.
"He went that way." Kevin said pointing down to the right hallway.
"Thanks, Kev." Justin said making his way down to where Nick went.
"Hey, wait you might need this." Kevin said bringing out another super soaker from his back.
"Yeah...I think I will." Justin said devilishly.
"Shoot him one for me." Kevin said as Justin nodded his reply. As Justin ran down after Nick, Kevin approached the two shocked youths that was still standing there. Kevin let out a little snicker as he came towards them, "Are you guys okay? You look like you've seen a ghost?" He tried to joke.
"Um...I'm sorry. We...we..." Brad tried to answer.
"I hope you guys are okay with this. I mean...with Nick and Justin being a couple." Kevin tried to explain.
"No, no. It's none of our business. We..." Brad interjected.
"It is your business." Kevin explained further. "We're going to be touring together and I hope you guys are able to accept this. Nick and Justin, they're not...they're not going to um...you know." Kevin tried to say but couldn't find the words.
"We...we understand." Brad answered. "Don't we Rich?" Brad asked his friend trying to get him off the trance he was in.
"Um...um yeah." Rich answered.
"I hope you guys do. They're very discreet about it. Their relationship I mean. Not a lot of people know. Not even all the guys know. They don't want a lot of people knowing. It's easier that way. They just slip up sometimes. I'm sure they didn't mean to do that in front of you." Kevin said in a business manner.
"Yeah, we're perfectly fine...and totally comfortable with it." Brad answered for the both of them.
"Thanks guys...and can we keep this between us? I don't want anybody else knowing and I'm sure Nick and Justin don't."
"Yeah, okay...we won't say a word." Brad answered.
++++++++++++
"I can't believe you did that." Justin said as he laid his back upon Nick's chest.
Nick moved around a little upon the leather couch trying to find a comfortable spot for him and Justin to lay in. "Did what?" Nick asked nonchalantly.
"What do you mean, did what? You kissed me." Justin answered.
"I kiss you all the time." Nick replied as he moved his head around and placed a kiss upon Justin's cheek.
"Yeah, but in private not in front of two strangers."
"What do you mean two strangers?" Nick asked.
"You kiss me in front of Rich and Brad, you boo boo head." Justin replied with a child-like smile.
"I did not." Nick replied like a naively.
"Hello? We're you not there or something? You kiss me, slip in your tongue and then took my super soaker away right before getting me wet." Justin said trying to jog Nick's memory.
Nick laid there quietly holding Justin in front of him trying to let what Justin sink in. "Ah..Ooo...Oh, shit." Nick quickly realized. Justin let out a small laugh. "Fuck, Kevin's gonna kill me. I shouldn't have done that."
Justin snickered again. "No, actually you should do that more often. I like it when we kiss."
"Why...why are you being so calm about this? Kevin's gonna kill me when he finds out." Nick tried to reason with Justin.
"He...he already knows." Justin answered plainly.
"Shit..." Nick cursed to himself. Justin giggled again. "What? What are you laughing at? Kev's gonna bite my head off once he sees me."
"No, no he's not." Justin said calmly.
"And what makes you think not?"
"Cause he was there when I was running after you. He even gave me the other super soaker."
"He did not."
"Yup, he did and plus he told me to get you extra wet for him. I guess a payback from all the other times you plays pranks on him."
"I'm gonna get him for that." Nick said as he thought of something to torture Kevin.
"Yeah...you do that."
Nick contemplated for a bit but soon realized something. "But wait...you said Brad and Rich was there. What...what did they say?"
Justin let out a small laugh. "Actually, they didn't say much of anything.
I think shocked is more the word. You should have seen their faces. Their mouth was like hanging...it was like their jaws were on the floor. It was hilarious. When you ran out I turned and they were there. They looked at me like, what the hell did just go down here? So, I tried to say something but I couldn't because of their faces. So, I just said bye and left them for Kevin to deal with." Justin laughed out his story.
Nick laughed too as he imagined the whole scene in his mind. "Hmm...I wonder what Kevin told them. Do you think they're okay with it? I mean...with us?" Nick asked worriedly.
Justin stopped and thought about it for a second. "I...I don't really care. I just like it here being with you." Justin said as he moved his head around trying to find a nice spot.
"But...but what if..." Nick tried to interject.
"Let's not think about it right now." Justin reasoned. "Come on, let's take a nap. I'm tired and you need your rest before the show."
"Okay, I won't think about it now." Nick agreed as he let the couch swallow more of his body.
As the silence consumed the small decorated dressing room Justin started to think about what he just told Nick not to think about. He lightly cursed himself at the thought. Their relationship has been mostly a secret between them and they have not thought about taking it further than that. The only reason Kevin knew was that Nick fully trusted him and needed Kevin's help to get him on the tour. Kevin's been cool about it but he didn't know how anyone else would take it. Nick and him never really talked about the other Backstreet Boys whether they knew or not. It was just something that never really came up. Something they kind of made up in their minds not to bring up. It was like an uncommunicative pact that they gave each other. It was their relationship and not any others. They both have had to share so much with the world, with the public, that in the process of their relationship it just came to be that what they did and what they were to each other just became their knowledge and not anyone else's.
As Justin thought about it, it troubled him more and more. His relationship with Nick, in his mind, was perfect. Whenever he was with Nick, he was able to close off the rest of the world, the unimportant aspects that really didn't matter. When they were together they only had eyes for each other. Maybe that's why that kiss happened, Justin reasoned. But the kiss meant more than that, even though every kiss they shared was special in Justin's heart. That kiss they had in front of Brad and Rich brought about new consequences. It brought part of that outside world into theirs and right now Justin didn't know how to take it or what to feel about it. Even to his own Nsync pals he had not shared with them this new aspect in his life. What would they think when they found out about his relationship with Nick. Would they think differently of him? Would they look at him with disgust? No one really knows how a person reacts to these things and right now Justin had many scenarios in his head when the time came for him to tell his bandmates.
His mother's reaction, meanwhile, didn't faze him a bit. He always knew that his mother was understanding and would support him in anything that he does. The thought of that brought a smile upon Justin's face. After he called his long time friend Britney he started to pace outside in his backyard. After what seemed like hours he finally gave up on trying to figure things out so he sat on one of the patio chairs. As he took in the scenery every minute thing reminded him of Nick. He would look at a stupid tree and then ask himself what Nick would think of it. When he saw a bird perched upon it singing its hymn, Nick's voice seem to echo within his ears. Then when he saw the fountain with the statue of Venus, he reflected on the countless times Nick would talk about his love of the ocean. Justin lightly shook his head at the thought. When Nick would talk about anything that even had the smallest meaning in his heart, his whole soul seeped through all his actions and upon his face. Justin remembered that sometimes Nick's words seem to drown out as he would focus upon Nick's facial expression. He could tell every feeling Nick had about that certain thing, every emotion was told with that look, there were no words needed to reach Justin's mind. He simply knew what Nick felt and thought about it by just looking at him.
And it was during those moments that Justin realize his love for Nick. It was the thought of that sweet face not being in his life that brought truth in his life. Justin was not scared about what being with another man meant but he was scared of what life would bring without Nick. That brought a slight ache in his heart as the thought occurred in his mind. He couldn't let that happen, he wouldn't let that happen. Somehow, he knew that when Nick confessed his love to him that night that something had changed in his life. He just didn't recognize it at that moment. And then when Nick sang that song his whole essence seemed to sympathize with him. As Nick put every emotion in his performance it seemed as if he was the one there, singing it too. He felt every beat and every sensation that Nick did. Everything was there, everything that Justin wanted and needed in life. It was all encompassed within one person and all he had to do was grab it. All he had to do was grab it for dear life.
As soon as it hit him, Justin got out of his chair and ran back inside the house. He quickly knocked upon his mother's office door as he knew he wanted her to be the first to know. Something this important didn't need any preparation or time. It just needed the right person to be there. "Mom...mom...open the door. I have something to tell you."
His mother quickly opened the door and appeared in the doorway flustered. "What...what happened? Is anything wrong?"
Justin abruptly hugged his mother and shook his head. "No, nothing's wrong. Nothing could be the better." Justin said as he let go of his mom and lead her back into the room and on the couch.
"Justin, then what's the matter? What's with you?" Lynn said examining her son's features.
"I found the one...I found the one who I'm going to spend the rest of my life with." Justin said profoundly.
Lynn laughed at the thought momentarily, "Justin, honey, are you okay? You're not making any sense."
"Mom, don't you get it? I know...I found my soulmate. He was there standing right in front of my face and I didn't realize it."
"Honey, you're only 18. You have the rest of your life to find your soulmate and I'm sure the two of you will have a lovely life together."
"No, no, no. Mom, I've already found him and I was stupid enough not to realize it right then and there. But now...now I know and I...I have to...I have to find him." Justin quickly thought out. "Mom...oh my god, I have to find him. I don't know where he is." Justin said getting off the couch.
"Honey, honey. Wait." Lynn said grabbing Justin's arm. "Calm down for a second. Think things through. You're not making a lot of sense here. Come sit back down and explain to me."
Justin looked at his mom thoroughly. He weighed his options. He knew that he had to find Nick but he also knew that his mom had the right to know so he sat back down. "Okay, mom but I really...really have to go and..."
"Yes, I understand but right now you need to talk to me. You've just came to realize that you've found your soulmate and I don't even know anything about this person. So, tell me about her?"
Justin looked away from his mom momentarily as he heard what she just said. "Mom...I don't know how you're going to take this. I haven't even thought about it fully but I somewhere deep inside me I just know its right. Mom...its not a her...it's a him."
A moment of silence passed between the two of them as Justin couldn't bare to look at his mom's face. Only seconds later Justin felt his shoulders being moved and his whole body being embraced by his mother. "I'm...I'm glad that you found your soulmate, honey." Lynn whispered in Justin's ear.
Justin felt his eyes start to water up as he heard his mom's words. "Thank you...mom, thank you." Justin whispered back.
Lynn rubbed her hand upon Justin's back a couple of times before pulling back. "So...so tell me about him." Lynn smiled towards his son.
"His name...his name is Nick Carter." Justin smiled back toward his mom.
"Ni...Nick Carter?"
"Yeah, Nickolas Gene Carter." Justin replied as his smile became wider at just the thought of him.
"You mean...Nick Ca..." Lynn tried to figure out.
"Yeah, the one and only."
"I...ah...how?"
"Oh mom." Justin smiled as he brought his mom in a hug. "I don't know. It just happened. At first he just really got on my nerves. He was so annoying but I guess I was just denying the attraction that was just naturally there. He just knew how to get under my skin. It was actually so weird. He just knew the buttons to push and I hated him for it. Then after I hated him...I kinda loved him. The more time we spent with each other the more I felt for him. Then it just happened...I love him."
"Does...does he know how you feel? Do he feel the same way about you?" Lynn asked worriedly.
Justin looked away again from his mom towards the floor. "I kinda...I didn't...I couldn't say it. He told me before the tour ended. He said that he had feelings for me more than a friend and I just froze. He told me that he just wanted to tell me and didn't expect anything but I couldn't react. I guess I just didn't know how to tell him my own feelings."
"Oh, honey. I'm so sorry." Lynn reached out her hand for his son's.
"That's why...that's why I have to go find him. I have to tell him I feel the same way. I know that I probably hurt him but...but I know that we're gonna work things out. I love him and I know he loves me. That's...that's all that counts, right?"
Lynn looked admiredly at her son's eyes. It was glistening with hope, "Yes, honey that's all that counts."
Justin hugged his mom again. "Thanks mom. But I really have to go. I have to find him. I don't want him hurting anymore and I can't spend another second without him knowing my feelings." Justin said as he left the room.
Justin was glad that he had his mom to tell all that was happening in his life. Nick had Kevin to tell what was going on and Justin had his mom. His mom has been really supportive, especially the last couple of weeks. She understood his need to spend time with Nick right now and not to concern himself with his career and other obligations it brought in his life. He just needed this time with his relationship with Nick. Now it seemed like it was going to end. With Brad and Rich knowing, Justin knew it was going to bring complications in their relationship. He just hope that Kevin was able to keep it under wraps as long as possible. He knew he needed to talk to Nick about this. They are going to be on tour for the next two months. Justin knew that the other guys would ask questions and with Rich and Brad already knowing, their actions might even bring in more intrigue.
Justin's mind started to get tired as he thought about all this. He soon turned off all those thoughts and just went with the physical. He then found comfort upon the warm body that was next to his. Nick's arm lazily placed over his abdomen. It just felt so right to him. "Nick, I like sleeping with you. I always feel like nothing in the world can ever go wrong. I really love you, Nick." Justin said. After a few seconds when Justin didn't get a reply, he casually turned his head around and saw that Nick was fast asleep. He laugh to himself and then whispered, "I love you, Pooh Bear" as he himself closed his eyes.
++++++++++++
As three tall youths got off the elevator, the shortest of the three waited for the blond to enter his room before pulling the dark haired youth to the side. "What's up with him? He's been like this all day."
"I...I really don't know man. Maybe he's just tired."
"Come on man. You know Rich ain't like that. He can be up all night and all day but as soon as he goes on stage...he shows the crowd how much fun he's having. Tonight...tonight," Devon said looking around the hallway for an answer. "Tonight, I don't know what the hell was up with tonight. That's not the guy I know."
"Um...Rich's got a lot on his mind right now. Just give him some room to chill, okay Dev."
"I'm all down with that but he's got to leave that outside of the stage. Rehearsal was bad enough but tonight...come on, man we've never put on such a lousy show. It seemed like the stage was the last place Rich wanted to be right then and there. Man, we need to work this out. We need to get him out of this rut."
Brad looked at his bandmate and knew that he was concerned about Rich. Brad just didn't think it was the right time for Devon to get into the matter. He was not informed about everything and it would much harder for Rich to explain it all again. Maybe even reliving some of the anguish he was going through right now. "Okay, I'll talk to him. Make him come out of his shell."
"Man no, we should both talk to him. I'm his friend too and I'm concerned as much as you are."
"Dev...I don't want to hurt your feeling but...but I just don't think it's the right time for you to get involved in this."
"Man, I don't get it. We're suppose to be a group but why do I always feel like the odd man out. I know that you guys were in this long before I was but still." Devon said a little frustrated.
"Dev, you know that we're all equal here but you just don't know everything that's gone on. You haven't been there through the shit that went down. You've got to understand that this is not about me. Hey man, if this was about me I'd let you in on it but its about Rich. As much time we've spent together there's things about him you don't know. Don't make it out as Rich doesn't trust you or that me and Rich consider you less, it's just that this is Rich's personal life. He's just not ready to tell you yet. Hey, it took me half our lives to get him to open to me. You'll just have to be patient and trust that I'll be there to take care of things when it seems things ain't goin' right."
Devon tried to take was Brad just told him. The reasons he presented to him were valid enough and logical enough. He just didn't like the idea of being left out of certain stuff. He understood that Brad and Rich had a much closer friendship than they had but he is trying. In the end, he really had no choice but to follow what Brad had said. "Yeah man...I'm sorry for getting on your case. I'm just worried about him."
"Don't worry Dev. I'll talk to him and make sure he's okay." Brad replied as he started to walk to Rich's room.
"Hey Brad." Devon called out before reaching for his own door. "Could you...could you tell Rich that I'm sorry for giving him shit about rehearsal this morning."
"Yeah, don't sweat it. I'll tell him." Brad replied as he saw Devon walk into his room and close the door. Brad waited for a second and took a deep breath before bringing his hand up and knocking upon Rich's door. He knocked lightly the first couple of times but after he got no answer he knocked harder.
"What!" Brad heard someone yell from the other side.
"It's me...open up." Brad replied.
"I'm sleeping. Go away." Rich yelled back.
"No your not. You're still talking dumbass." Brad tried to make a joke.
"Then fuck off so I could get some sleep." Rich replied irritably.
"Okay...that's it. I was trying to be nice before but if you don't open this door I'll keep you awake all night. Now open up so we can talk." Brad said.
"You're such an ass sometimes." Brad heard Rich grumble. Brad waited for a couple of seconds before he heard scuffling on the other side. Finally, the door opened and Rich looked evilly at Brad. "What do you want?" he asked with much attitude.
"To see your happy face." Brad replied with a fake smile before pushing Rich out of the way and making his way into the room.
"Ugh..." Rich grumbled before slamming the door and following Brad. "Say what you want and then leave so I can sleep." Rich said before jumping back onto the bed and covering his face with a pillow.
"You can be such a queen sometimes." Brad retorted.
"What?" Rich asked hastily as he took the pillow off his face and sat up.
"There you go. Now that I have your attention. Do you wanna talk?" Brad asked nicely.
"Not after what you call me." Rich answered as he laid back down on the bed and then covering his face again with the pillow.
"Well...I ain't taking no for an answer and I'm not leaving before you get that bug out of your ass." Brad said as he took the pillow tried to take the pillow away from Rich's face. Rich tried to fight it for awhile but finally let it go before turning away from Brad.
"I don't want to talk." Rich said not looking back at Brad.
"Oh would you just please say what the hell is up so we can deal with it and so you can stop being such a pain in the ass."
"You are really good at this aren't you." Rich replied sarcastically.
"Hey what are friends for," Brad answered. "Now would like to share what's going on in that brain of yours?"
"It's not my brain...its my heart."
Brad unconsciously rolled his eyes. "Okay then, what's with your heart?"
"It hurts...it just hurts."
"So it hurts...why does it hurt?" Brad asked as he knew that when Rich was in this kind of mood getting his feeling out in the open was painstakingly long.
"Because he doesn't love me."
"Who doesn't love you?" Brad asked to a question he already knew the answer to.
"Nick."
"So what's the big deal? He didn't love you before?" Brad replied.
"Yeah but before I thought he couldn't love me. I didn't know...I didn't know he was...he was...you know."
"Gay. You know you can say it. My god, Rich..." Brad said before grabbing Rich by the shoulders and turning his body so Rich was facing him. "For a gay guy you can't even say it. That's just sad." Rich pouted as soon as he heard Brad's words. "Okay, okay. I'm sorry. I'll be serious now. Go on, so Nick's gay...big whoop?"
"Yeah before he was just a fantasy. Somewhere deep I knew that I could never be with him. I thought he was straight and we would never be together. Then...then that happened."
"He kissed Justin." Brad continued.
"Yeah." Rich replied cringing as the memory returned in his mind. "I...I couldn't believe it. Nick just kissed...kiss him right in front of me."
"This is bad." Brad said with a giggle. "You can't even say Justin's name."
"Brad..." Rich said trying to make him stop.
"Okay, I'll be good. Geez just trying to make you laugh that's all."
"Nick just kissed him right there. I saw it and it hurt. I hate...hate...it."
"You mean you hate Justin, right?" Brad said finishing Rich's thought.
"No, I don't."
"I can see it in your eyes. You hate Justin. You're jealous of him. He has Nick and you don't."
"I am not jealous. It just hurts to see them like that."
"Rich, don't deny what you're feeling. Admit it so we can deal with it."
Rich stop for a couple of seconds contemplating if he could say it. Deep down he knew he was jealous of Justin. For Justin to take the place he always dreamed of. To be able to kiss Nick Carter whenever he wanted. He wanted to be able to do that. "Ok...okay, so I'm a little jealous of him. Is that so bad?"
"It's not bad but be realistic." Brad tried to reason.
"I am realistic. I haven't been more realistic in my whole life. I've always had this stupid fantasy that I would meet Nick Carter and we would fall for each other. We would look into each other's eyes and then he would say something really sweet and nice. Then the whole world would disappear and all we could see is each other. It would be love at first sight and that would be the start of it. We'd be together through everything and would love each other forever." Rich said as he recounted what he dreamed every night. "Now, that was my fantasy but I always, always knew that it was never going to happen. Something inside me always said that it was just a dream and not a reality. And then...then this morning happened. I find out he's gay and then he's with someone else. My fantasy isn't going to happen because not that it can't happen but its because he...he's with Nick."
"But aren't you even happy? I mean...now he might even be able to give you back the feelings you have for him." Brad replied sincerely after he heard what Rich said.
Rich looked at his friend straight in the eyes. "Have you not seen Nick when...when he's around. God, even when he's not around...he's always on Nick's mind. I can't even get him to notice me. The first time we met, he completely ignored me. He was more concerned with...with him and then he bumps into me and I...I try to say something but he doesn't even...he doesn't even know I'm alive."
"I'm sure it's not that bad." Brad replied badly. He knew what he was saying was a lie because he's seen it himself but he also knew that the truth was too much right now.
"Nick looks at him as I always dreamed he would look at me...as I dreamed as how I look at him. The fantasy I had is real...its real but its not with me...its with him."
TBC...not a cliffhanger but a nice place to end, I guess. Anyways, I hope to be able to put out more installments more often as I'm at summer vacation now. :-)