Disclaimer: This story is fiction and does not represent the real people that might be mentioned here. If you are under 18 or if it is illegal to read this in the country where you live, the city where you are, etc. then don't. Again, this is just some fantasy I concocted in my head so don't get insulted.
Author's Note: Hey what's up? Finally got another chapter done. Hey Z, drop me an e- mail cause I lost my cell phone. See, I told you're a better writer than me. Your last chapter was great. And to my new friend, Danie. What can I say about you? "If Only." Finally, thanks to all the readers and to Nifty for having a site like this.
Chapter 18: Don't Wanna Lose Written by: "Bear"
The room was silent and pretty much empty. It was very much as how they found it at the first place. A hotel room without much character and flavor. The pastel color scheme and the more than ordinary furniture that was laid upon the floor plan. The only thing that brought essence in the room was a gorgeous blond adonis that sat upon the edge of one of the full size beds. His back was humped over his knees with his elbows resting upon them. He didn't want to look up upon the piercing blue eyes that was set upon him so he laid his head upon his palms. He was being childish, he knew but he wasn't getting his way.
"Come on, let's go." Justin said.
"I don't want to." He simply replied with a pout.
Justin's heart melted when he saw the expression that was upon Nick's face.
He's seen it before more than a couple of times and usually let Nick get away with it. He couldn't bear to let Nick pout and be sad about something. At least when he could do something about it but this time he had to stand his ground. This was important and he couldn't just let Nick have his way again. "Nick, we need to go. The guys are waiting for us." Justin said sternly.
"I'm not going." Nick replied crumbling his mouth as he spoke with his chin upon his palms.
It looked so cute but Justin knew he couldn't let his mind wander. He couldn't let Nick get away with it this time. A smile there, a pout here, a cute little expression could send Justin's knees buckling but this time was different. "Ugh...come on Nick. This is important we need to do this."
"Nah uh." Nick said nodding his head no. "I ain't goin'."
"Nick, this is your tour. We need to get on the bus so we can get going. The guys are waiting and we need to get to the venue tonight." Justin said a little aggravated.
"No." Nick replied abruptly.
"Ugh." Justin groaned out before storming out of the room and slamming the door. He looked from one side of the hall to the other. He didn't know where to go and what to do. Suddenly a bell echoed through the hallway as the elevator doors opened. "Thank God." Justin whispered to himself as he saw the two figures walking his way.
"Justin, what's going on? We've been waiting." Howie asked.
"He's being stubborn." Justin said with a look of anger in his face. "He won't leave the hotel room. He doesn't want to go." Justin answered.
"What? He doesn't want to go on tour?" Howie asked worriedly.
"Calm down, D. I'll talk to him." Kevin replied as he moved to the side and walked into the hotel room which held Nick.
"God, I can't believe he's doing this. He can't can't go on tour. This is bad. What's wrong with him? God, what the hell is he thinking?" Howie rambled on unconsciously to no one in particular.
"Howie, chill." Justin said as he saw Howie more emotional than him.
Justin and Howie just stood there in the hallway not talking to each other.
Justin tried to let his emotions calm down a bit while Howie just keep mumbling to himself worrying about tour and Nick. After awhile Justin forgot about his own feelings and started to giggle at Howie's actions. It was funny seeing a grown man mumbling to himself over something really trivial. After a couple of minutes, the door opened again revealing Kevin. He looked on to Howie and shook his head. Howie was such a worrywart. Kevin then turned his gaze towards Justin and smiled. "You have one hour and then we leave. Now, go in there." Kevin said. Justin kind of confused by the whole situation just complied and walked back into the hotel room. Kevin then walked towards Howie casually putting an arm over his friend's shoulder. "Come on D. It's gonna be awhile. Let's get something to calm you down." Kevin laughed out.
Justin walked back into the bedroom and saw Nick lying down on his side facing away from him. Justin sighed inwardly before moving closer and positioning himself behind Nick. He then wrapped his right arm over Nick's body before propping himself up on his left hand hovering over Nick's face. "Nick...you okay?"
Nick had his eyes open as he just melted upon Justin's physique. He knew that Justin was right but he didn't want to face this. He didn't want to do this right now. There were consequences that Justin didn't know about. He was afraid of that. Afraid that if Justin found out that he would lose him. Even after all the things they've gone through together they still haven't talked about their past. Their relationship was just that, their relationship. It was what their hearts were telling them and it was what their hearts felt for each other. Nothing else and nothing more.
Nick marveled at their love for each other and at their commitment. Nick had little inclination of what Justin had done for their relationship. He simply knew that Justin took it upon himself to make time for each other. Nick was going to be on tour and Justin didn't want to lose the opportunity of spending time with him. Justin told him that. He said that their relationship was more important than a career. It was more important than anything else in the world. Justin had proven it to him. Nick didn't know how but Justin was able to get time off to travel with him. Nick was really happy about that.
Their relationship had been a whirlwind ever since that faithful day after Christmas. Things moved quickly and they simply acted on their urges and their feelings. Everything was left to chance and faith was left to their destiny. They had simply grabbed the bull by the horn and rode it for what it was worth. As Nick started to remember the last two months it seemed like a lifetime of memory to him. Their first memorable date at the Beverly Wilshire. The first time they made love to each other. The first time that Justin held him throughout the night. The time that Justin made him breakfast in bed. Spending New Year's Eve together. Justin moving in to Tampa with him. His birthday at the Plaza in New York. All the days in between and finally that amazing day, Justin's birthday. Something that Nick would always treasure in his heart. Something that was between the two of them, a promise towards each other.
A happy tear trickled down Nick's face as he moved his body around towards Justin. Justin, a little surprise, let himself lay back upon the bed as Nick carefully laid his head upon Justin's chest with his arms wrapping around Justin's waist. "I...I'm sorry." Nick quietly whispered out.
Justin brought his own arms around Nick's figure as he let out a sigh. "No, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have gotten upset." Justin said gently. "It's just...it's just that it's kind of important. We're going to be spending a large amount of time with the guys in the bus and I think they should know about us. We already have to censor our actions out in public and I don't want to do that in private too. Plus, I don't think I can keep my hands off you for a long number of time." Justin tried to ease the tension.
Nick let the moment sink in as he didn't answer Justin quickly. "I know that but...but it's our relationship and not theirs. I don't want them butting in where they shouldn't. We share so much already and I don't want to share this."
"But..." Justin tried to interrupt.
"I know we can't keep it hidden any longer. Its time that they know and they need to know because of the situation but...but it doesn't mean I have to like it."
"As long as you understand." Justin replied before shutting his mouth and savouring the time they had right now.
++++++++++++
"So are you gonna come in here or what?" Justin asked standing in the doorway of the tour bus.
Nick looked from one side of the street to the other as if trying to see if he had any other options. He looked back at the figure that was standing upon him that had his right hand out. It looked kind of cute actually but going inside that bus meant a whole load of questions and answers. "Do I have to?" Nick asked in a whiney tone.
Justin walked back down a couple of steps to stand with Nick on the sidewalk. He looked Nick right into eyes and tried to reassure him of what was going to happen was perfectly fine. "You don't have to but I'd like you to." Justin said with that smile the world has seen countless times over.
Nick groaned as he saw Justin's face. "Oh if it wasn't for you Mr. Justin with those blue gems of yours, the curly hair I love my fingers to twirl in, the smile that could melt Antarctica, the hands that hold my heart, and the embodiment of all my dreams Timberlake I wouldn't be doing this." Nick said as he took a quick step into the tour bus.
"Where did that come from?" Justin whispered to himself as he lazily followed Nick into the bus. Justin scurried his feet a little bit to catch up to Nick as he quickly placed a light kiss on Nick's neck and whispered to his ear, "You're so sweet sometimes."
"Uh huh, now let get this over with before I change my mind." Nick replied as he made his way to the lounge in the back of the tour bus. When they got there, he saw the four guys sitting around watching the tv. Kevin and Howie was on the couch directly in front of the screen, then Brian on the floor in front of the couch, and AJ alone in a chair tying what seems like a new pair of sneakers. "Hey guys!" said Nick.
"So you finally decided to join us." AJ said not looking up from his task.
"Yeah, after a little convincing by this guy behind me." Nick replied throwing a look behind his shoulder. Justin blushed a little as four sets of eyes were suddenly placed upon him.
"Why didn't you want to go, huh Nick?" Howie asked.
"See, that's what I want to talk to you guys about." Nick said as he grabbed the control from a side table. "Can I?" Nick asked as he saw Howie nod his head before he clicked the television off. Nick made his way to the other couch at the end of the bus as he sat in it with Justin in tow. "You see Justin and me want to tell you guys something."
"Okay, so what is it?" Howie asked intrigued by the whole situation. He's been having an inkling and he couldn't wait till he finally found out if it was true or not.
"You see...Justin's gonna tell you because he's the one who wanted to do this." Nick said as he look over to Justin.
Justin look surprised all of a sudden by the attention Nick placed upon him. Nick had been so in control ever since they came inside the bus that he thought Nick would tell his bandmates. "Well thank you Nick for finally letting me talk and making me answer the hard question." Justin said in spite of Nick.
"What is it Justin?" Howie asked again.
"You better say it soon Justin before Howie blows up." Kevin remarked.
"Yeah, spill." AJ added.
Meanwhile, Brian had simply looked on trying to figure out the situation. As he sat on the floor looking at Nick and Justin he was scared of that what he might has seen as a nightmare may actually become reality. `They aren't a...they wouldn't be...there's no way' Brian thought to himself.
"Okay...you see...me... okay" Justin tried to take a deep breath as he suddenly lost of all words. He looked over at Nick and nudge him at his side for a little help but Nick just shrugged. "Okay..."
"Man, Justin spit it out already." Howie said getting impatiently.
Justin looked over at Nick one more time for help but all he could see on Nick's face was a sly smile. He looked away for a second as he tried to compose some sort of meaningful sentence. "Okay..."
"You're still at okay and I'm done with my freakin' sneakers." AJ tried to joke.
"Justin, I think you're sweating bullets there bud." Kevin added as he saw the agony that was going through Justin's mind. Kevin smiled and almost laugh as he couldn't contain himself as Justin's task.
"Man, Justin you suck at this." Howie said getting annoyed at Justin's long pause.
"Um...okay...Nick?" Justin said trying to ask Nick again for help. Justin didn't know that he was the one who had to do this. He didn't want to be the one to tell Nick's friends that Nick is gay and is in love with a member of Nsync. Why couldn't Nick just do it? Nick had to put it on his shoulder to tell the rest of the Backstreet Boys. And right now Nick seemed like he wasn't any help at all.
"Uhmm...Justin." Nick replied with a smile.
"Umm...you see..." Justin tried to say.
"Hey, we've made progress." AJ said. "He's at you see now. So that makes okay, you see." AJ laughed to himself.
Justin looked over at AJ defeatedly. "Man, Justin you're making this way too hard. Your brain says something and then it goes to your mouth and it comes out." Howie said. "Now, what the hell is your brain saying?" Howie asked.
"Okay, you see..."
"We got that already." Howie said throwing his hands in the air.
Brian looked down on the floor as if trying to wish away the inevitable words that were gonna come out of Justin's mouth. His friends were making this hard on Justin when Brian knew it wasn't hard at all. They would all probably take it really well except him of course. How could this happen?' Brian asked himself. This couldn't be the end for them? Justin couldn't have taken his place. A place that only belonged to him and plus think of the ramifications. Justin...Justin's ...'
"Okay, well you see..." Justin tried to say again.
"Nick, would you help your boy out. He seems to be a lost for words." Kevin remarked.
Nick sat back up from the couch and looked over at Justin's worried face. He couldn't help himself but smile. Justin thought that it would so easy for them to do this. No, no wait. Justin thought it would be so easy for Justin for him to do this but Justin never thought that he had to be the one to tell them. Nick took Justin's face and made it turn to his. "Love, you okay?" Nick asked as Justin looked back at him with pleading eyes. "Would you just say it? Just let it come out and it would be so easy." Nick continued.
"Um, okay. Well, you see..." Justin started to say as he look over to the rest of the guys in the room.
"He started up again. Geez." AJ said.
"Love, come here." Nick said as he once again turned Justin's face towards his. He then moved forward and place a soft passionate kiss upon Justin's red lips. "Okay, now tell them."
Justin held his face there for a moment with his eyes still closed. He opened them slowly as words started to come out of his mouth. "Nick and me are a couple."
"A couple of what?" Howie asked.
Justin quickly opened his eyes as he looked over at Howie. Nick seeing Justin's reaction then looked over at Howie and quickly said. "D!"
"So-rry." Howie said getting up from the couch and making his way over to Nick and Justin. "But for reals, I'm really happy for you guys." Howie said as he hugged Justin and then Nick. "You're such a liar Nick. I told you that you were doing the bump and grind and freakin' denied it."
"What can I say D? I'm a great actor. I could win the Oscar if I really wanted to."
"Dork!" Howie said as he slapped the side of Nick's head.
"Dumb ass!" Nick retorted as Howie back away quickly.
"Blonde!"
"Sucker!"
"Oh, don't even get me started on that Nick." Howie replied with a sly grin on his face.
"Okay, okay. Guys quit it." Kevin stated. "I don't think I have to put my opinion on this since you already know." Kevin said as he smiled towards Nick and Justin.
"You know? You know?" Howie asked looking straight at Kevin.
"Yeah, how else do you think Justin could go on tour with us." Kevin replied.
"Okay, am I the only one who didn't know. Why am I always kept in the dark about these kind of things." Howie mumbled to himself as he went back to his seat.
Brian then slowly got up from his position from the foot of the couch and stepped over to Nick and Justin. "Well, I...I didn't know." Brian said getting choked up. "But...but I'm...I'm really happy for you Frack." Brian whispered out before hugging Nick closely.
"Thanks Frick." Nick replied as Brian placed his head upon Nick's shoulder as a simple lonely tear fell down his face. Brian sighed as his body was against Nick's as he thought that he may never be in those arms again.
With much will power Brian pulled himself away from Nick's arms and quickly looked away. He then made his way back to his seat upon the floor before saying, "Congratulations Justin. You're a very lucky guy to have Nick."
Justin smiled and looked over to Nick. "I know."
Howie looked from Nick and Justin to AJ. "Yo Bone. It's your turn." Howie kidded.
"Um...what?" AJ said shaking his thoughts away.
"Nick and Justin."
"Oh yeah." AJ said getting up from his seat. He looked over at Nick's eyes and then down to Brian who was staring down at the floor. With slumped shoulders Brian seemed to be willing himself to be okay with this. AJ shook his head before heading the opposite way of Nick and Justin. "I'm sorry." He murmured as he walked out of the lounge.
"AJ!" Nick yelled after him.
"I'm sorry Nick." Justin said as he thought that AJ might have rejected Nick being gay.
"No, I'm fine Justin. I just want to know what's up with AJ?"
"Yeah, what's up his ass?" Howie laughed to himself.
Kevin rolled his eyes at Howie. "Howie please."
"Man, you guys can't take a joke." Howie replied.
Kevin looked at Justin who had confusion written all over his face. "Justin chill. We all know that Nick's gay."
"Huh?" Justin asked.
"We all know that Nick's gay. He came out to us a long time ago." Kevin said.
"I can't believe you didn't know that we didn't know." Howie giggled as he took the remote control and turned the tv back on.
"I thought...I thought...with Nick..." Justin said.
"Sorry love but I wanted you to sweat a little." Nick smiled out before placing a kiss on Justin's cheek.
"You suck." Justin replied looking away from Nick.
"You know it." Nick whispered into Justin's ear.
"Um...I'm gonna go to my bunk. I'm feeling kind of tired." Brian said solemnly as he got up from the floor and out of the lounge.
+++++++++++
Lance cautiously knocked on the thick oak door. He knew the person in there was working but he came there for another reason, to make amends. Lance heard a soft voice call back out to him before he slowly opened the door. "Hey." Lance stated trying to start off a conversation. It was unlike him to be a lost for words but a feeling of guilt was in the pit of his stomach.
"Hey Lance what's up?"
"You busy C `cause I can come back later if you want?" Lance asked.
"No, no." JC replied as he moved some papers around the desk. "I actually need a break. I'm having a hard time with this verse."
"What's the song about?" Lance asked trying to delay his original purpose.
"It's a song for Wild Orchid. They asked me to produce one of their songs so here I am working. What else is there, right Scoop?" JC asked with smile.
Lance gave out a sigh of relief as he heard call him with his nickname. At least it hasn't gotten to the point where they couldn't be jokers around each other. "Yes, work work work. That's what we do...well, except now."
"I still have work to do." JC replied as there was a change in his tone. "So, what did you want Lance?" JC asked coldheartedly.
"I wanted to say I'm sorry." Lance said.
"Sorry for what?" JC replied harshly.
"JC, come on." Lance pleaded with him.
"Lance...I just can't...It's so hard to think about it. I can't believe you would do that." JC said shaking his head in the process.
"It wasn't like I did it out of the blue. I felt like I was against a wall, C. I had to act." Lance reasoned.
"It just hurts that you would do something like that. It scares me. What if it was me, huh Lance? Would you do the same thing? Plan out a way for me to be out of Nsync." JC retorted.
"I wasn't doing that JC. I was just trying to find out the truth."
"It seemed like that Lance. It appeared like you wanted to get rid of Justin. He's my best friend Lance. Even if we're going through hard times I'm a still his friend and nothing's gonna change that. I don't know if you could say the same thing about me."
"That was harsh, JC." Lance replied solemnly as he took his gaze away from JC.
"Well, is it true? Would you do the same thing if I was in Justin's position?" JC asked as he stood from his chair.
"JC!" Lance replied.
"I want to know, Lance. Would you kick me out of Nsync because you were afraid of your own security?" JC yelled.
"That was a low blow JC." Lance said meekly avoiding the question.
"Lance...tell me. Can I trust you?" JC said softly.
Lance stood there frozen for a second absorbing JC's words. "I...I don't know JC. I don't know if I would do the same things again."
"Lance, how could you? Justin's your friend...our friend and then you turn around and betray him just because you don't think things are going the way they're suppose to be?"
"I...I didn't know better. I had nothing to work with." Lance replied recalling the events of the past. "Justin was nowhere to be found and you...you were comatose half the time. I was left to deal with a situation that I was never in. I...I tried to do the things I thought were best for the group."
"But..."
"I can't change the past JC." Lance said confidently. "I can only look back on it and see my mistakes. I...I made a mistake JC and I don't know if I'll make the same mistake again but I tried at least."
"But...but Lance, this is Justin, you, me, Chris, and Joey. We're suppose to be a family. How could you betray that commitment? This not management and us. We got out of that. I thought you knew better." JC explained.
"I...I don't know what else to say JC but I'm sorry." Lance replied as he headed back for the door. JC sighed as he sat back down on the chair. Lance was about to reach for the door handle when Lance asked, "Have you talked to Justin?"
JC took a deep sigh as his mind started reeling. "No." JC replied as he heard a small snort come out of Lance before opening the door and stepping out of the room.
+++++++++++
Brian hurriedly walked down the long corridor full in costume for the opening number. AJ tried his best trying to catch up to his friend. "Rok...Rok, wait up."
Brian stomped to a stop and turned around to look back. "What is it Bone? We have to get ready to go on stage."
"Brian talk to me. Why are you doing this?"
"What do you want me to talk about Bone? Huh? What do you want me to say?"
AJ looked away from Brian for a second. "I...I want you to say how you're feeling."
"What's that going to do? That's not gonna do any damn good, Bone."
"At least...it won't be all inside you. Come on Rok, talk to me."
"Do you really want to know? Do you really want to know how I'm feeling?"
"Yes. Yes, I do." AJ answered back confidently.
"I feel like shit Bone. I feel like shit. I feel like my heart was taken out of my chest and put into a grinder. I'm thinking that it's not fair. One second Nick was in love with me and then all of a sudden he was stolen from me. I'm feeling hate. I hate Justin for doing this. I hate him for making me feel this way. He took Nick away from me. He took the best thing in my life away from me. Is that what you want to know?" Brian asked in which AJ nodded. "Do you want to know more?"
"Yes." AJ answered kind of meekly.
"I'm angry. I'm angry at myself for feeling this way. I'm angry that I can't do anything about it. Nick's with somebody and its not me. He's in there." Brian said pointing down the hall. "He's in there with his boyfriend happy, giggling, holding each other. I'm sad. I'm sad that I'm not that one who's there. I should be the one in there holding him, making him laugh, making him happy. Instead...instead, Jus...Just...he's in there. That little curly-haired freak is in there in my place, in Nick's heart and more. I want to...I want to rip his arms away from Nick's body and beat him to a pulp. I wish he doesn't exist. I wish...I wish that Nick loved me." Brian cried out before jumping into AJ arms.
"Oh Bri...I'm sorry...everything's gonna be okay." AJ tried to soothe Brian's pains.
"I want him...I want him..." Brian repeated over and over as he hit AJ's chest with his fists.
+++++++++++++
Nick wandered through the arena trying to find that person that could make him smile. The person who could take all your worries and stress and sadness away just because of their presence. Nick at this moment was looking for that very person. He was getting aggravated because Nick couldn't find him but he was also having fun with the search. It felt like a cat and mouse game in a way. At least Nick put it that way in his mind because if he didn't he would have probably grown impatient. Suddenly, a voice behind him made Nick stop on his tracks. Nick turned around and looked towards the voice, "Yes."
"Hi." He replied.
"Hi, what's up?" Nick asked.
"Um...I could ask you the same thing." He replied sheepishly.
"Oh, I was looking for Justin actually. Have you seen him." Nick asked nicely.
The smile on his face faded momentarily before he answered. "Um...no. I haven't seen him."
"That's okay. I'll just look for him." Nick replied. A moment of silence passed between the two youths as Nick tried to find something to say. "So, you...you wanted something."
"Huh?" He replied.
"You called out my name. I thought you wanted something." Nick asked with a smile.
"Oh yeah." He replied as if a light bulb just flashed above his head. "Um...I wanted to ask you if you wanted to go see a movie...with me...and uh, Brad."
"A movie?" Nick kind of pondered the idea.
"I mean...it's just like...you...I...you don't have to go if you don't want to. I just thought I'd ask." He replied kind of backing away.
"Rich...no." Nick replied.
"Well that's okay. I was just wond..."
"No, Rich that's not what I mean. I mean I would love to go."
"Really?" Rich asked excitedly.
"Yeah, it would be fun. You know we could hang out and stuff." Nick replied.
"Oh cool. Then we'll go see a movie. When?" Rich blurted all out suddenly.
Nick laughed at Rich's eagerness. "You kind of asked me if I wanted to go with you guys so I thought you'd know."
"Yeah, didn't think of that." Rich looked around as if searching for an answer. "How `bout tonight?" Rich looked up into Nick's face.
"Oh, tonight?"
"It doesn't have to be tonight. I just thought..." Rich quickly said as he saw Nick's reaction.
Nick laughed again at Rich's reaction. "No, it's just that Justin wanted to check out this club tonight and I told him we would go."
"Yeah, I guess you can't go see a movie if you're going..."
"Did I hear my name." Justin quickly said as he appeared from nowhere.
"Yup you did." Nick replied as he looked over his shoulder right into Justin's face.
"I hope it was all good." Justin said as he wrapped his arms around Nick's waist and put his head upon Nick's left shoulder.
"I'm not telling. Are you Rich?" Nick asked as he looked back at the Rich.
"Um...no." Rich said as he flinched at Justin's position with Nick.
"Oh oh, I'm gonna have to get it out of you another way then." Justin said.
"Justin!" Nick said as he moved his arm back and elbowed Justin in the stomach.
"You're the one who has his mind in the gutter." Justin retorted as he held onto Nick tighter.
"Whatever!" Nick replied.
"Oh come on." Justin said as he place a kiss upon Nick's neck.
"Okay, okay forgiven." Nick said.
"Good." Justin replied as nuzzled his face against Nick's skin.
Nick then look over to Rich who had just been standing there kind of uncomfortable. Rich didn't know if he was suppose to leave or just watch. Watching to him would be grueling but also exciting. He wanted that, wanted what Justin had and could do to Nick but to his disappointment he was the one looking in. "Oh, sorry Rich. What were we talking about?" Nick asked.
"A movie." Rich replied as he pulled his stare away from the two.
"A movie huh?" Justin asked as he kept his body close to Nick.
"Yeah Rich asked me if I wanted to go see a movie with Brad and him."
"Okay, I thought he was asking you for a date or something." Justin replied sarcastically.
"No, no...I wasn't. I just wanted to see if he wanted to see a movie. That's all." Rich replied quickly.
Justin's raised his eyebrows at Rich's reaction. It was just a joke but Rich's reaction said otherwise. "Justin!" Nick replied as Nick quickly nudge Justin again.
"Just joking Rich. Chill." Justin said unconvincingly as he eyed Rich's actions.
"So yeah, its okay if you don't want to go." Rich said feeling Justin's eyes on him.
"No Rich I'd love to go. Right Justin, you'd like to go too?" Nick asked.
"Um yeah, you too Justin. If you want to go?" Rich asked switching his gaze from Nick to Justin.
"Sure, whatever Pooh Bear wants." Justin replied.
Now it was Rich's eyebrows to turn up as he didn't understand the nickname. "Don't mind him, Rich. See, we'd love to go but we can't tonight."
"Yes, we're going to check out Black Pearl." Justin added.
"But another time okay? Raincheck?" Nick continued.
"Oh yeah, we'll go see a movie another day." Rich replied feeling concious of Justin's gaze still upon him. "Well, I've got to go. I'll talk to you later Nick. Um... Justin." Rich said as he started to walk away.
As soon as Rich had turned the corner, Nick moved around to face Justin. "What was that?" Nick asked.
"What was what?" Justin asked innocently.
"With Rich." Nick replied.
"Nothing, I was just playing with him." Nick eyed him carefully. "What?" Justin asked kind of smiling.
"Forget it." Nick replied. "So where were you? I was looking for you." Nick said.
"Did Pooh Bear miss me?" Justin asked.
"Yes, now where were you?" Nick said.
"Hmm...I'm not telling." Justin replied slyly before taking Nick's hand into his. "Now come on." Justin continued as he dragged Nick down the corridor.
+++++++++++
Justin laid upon one of the bed that was set up in one of the dressing rooms in the arena. He has his head propped up on a pillow while Nick's body was on top of his with Nick's head upon his chest. "Nick, why didn't you tell me the other guys knew you were gay?"
Nick giggled for a second. "It wasn't a big deal that's all." Nick replied.
"Then why were you afraid of telling them about us?" Justin questioned as he ran one of his hands through Nick's blond locks.
"Hmmm..." Nick moaned out from the pleasure of Justin's hands upon him. "I just wanted it to be about us. They know about my sexuality already. I told them a couple of years ago. But with you and me it was something that they didn't need to know about. This is ours and not theirs. I don't care of anybody else knows as long as we both know that we love each other." Nick replied thoughtfully.
"Maybe that's why I haven't told the guys either." Justin said unconciously.
"They don't know?" asked Nick.
"I haven't really told them anything."
"Oh..." Nick replied.
"They've actually given me hell about it but I guess I was feeling the same thing you were feeling. We never talked about it but it just something that happened."
"So they don't know anything? Nothing at all?" Nick asked.
"No, they don't know a thing. I'm feeling kind of guilty actually." Justin replied. "I've kept them in the dark this whole time. They don't know what I've been doing or where I've been. They just know that I'm don't want to be Justin from Nsync right now."
"I'm sorry."
"No, it's my own fault. I wanted this." Justin said bringing more of Nick's body into his. "I didn't want to be away from you especially after...after you know."
"Yeah, I can't bear to go through a day without you right now." Nick uttered as he held onto Justin tighter.
"You're sweet." Justin said as he once again savored their intimate moment.
They shared a moment of silence as they relived some of their memories in their minds. "So, how do you think they're taking it?" Nick asked.
"Oh..."
"That bad huh?" Nick asked sensing Justin's body tense.
"I already told you how JC took it. We had a fight. He was interrogating me like crazy, wanting to know everything and I wasn't ready to tell him yet."
"Have you talked to him yet." Nick asked as he felt Justin take a deep breath.
"No." Justin answered plainly. "I feel really bad about it too since he's my best friend but right now I don't know if he would understand."
"Understand?"
"Yeah understand what's going on." Justin replied
"You mean about us?" Nick said meekly as he consciously buried his face into Justin's muscular pectorals.
"Nick, its not that. It's different between us."
"How?" Nick asked as he felt his face heat up and tears start to form in his eyes.
Justin quickly brought his hand up and down Nick's back as a way of comfort. "It's not that I would call myself gay that's all. I haven't really gone through my life and would randomly say that's guy hot as I walk down the street." Justin explained.
"Oh..." Nick replied not able to think of anything else to say and even if he did his voice was starting to quiver.
"It's just that when I met you it was like a moment of enlightenment. I love being with you and holding you and touching you. I didn't realize that I was gay and would like to be with men but I realize that I was in love with you and want to be with you. That's all that it was so I wouldn't know how to explain it to JC. If I told him that I was with you but I don't think I'm gay, I just don't think he would really get it." Justin clarified.
"Just...Justin." Nick said as his voice was breaking. "You do have feelings for me don't you? You just don't want to be around me and stuff right?" Nick asked unsurely.
"Nick?" Justin asked as he heard Nick's uncertainty in his voice. He looked down and saw Nick's head buried in his chest. Justin knew that somehow his explanation had hurt Nick in some way. Justin tried to get Nick to look into his face but Nick resisted. Justin then shifted his weight so that now Nick's back was on the bed and Justin's body on top of his. Nick then had no other option but to ease his grip on Justin as Justin slip down Nick's body. With their faces in front of each other, Justin saw the doubt in Nick's soul. "Nick you listen to me." Justin said as he brought his right hand upon Nick's cheek as he tried to rub out the tear that was about to fall from Nick's eyes. "I love you." Justin elucidated slowly. "I am in love with you. I am not just here by your side because I want to be with you or because of the relationship we have. It's that and more. I can't think of a better reason of being in this world than loving you. My whole soul and all the feelings that come of my body is because of you. My thinking of not being gay is not because of you, it is because of me. So don't you fret and worry that I am not in love with you because I am." Justin explained thoroughly.
Nick nodded he tried to hold back the tears from his eyes. "But you and JC?" Nick asked.
"Don't fuss about me and JC. I'll take care of that when I'm ready. All you think about is that you are the person who has my heart, my reason for living, and the person that makes my day better. I am in love with you, Nickolas Gene Carter and don't you ever think otherwise." Justin said determinedly.
"Okay." Nick replied as he tried to put a smile on his face.
"Good, now come here." Justin said as he got off Nick's body before pulling Nick back into his chest. "I'm going to take care of Lance, JC, Chris, and Joey.
I'm going to tell them what's up and they're gonna understand." Nick nodded his head upon Justin's chest as he wrapped his right arm around Justin's waist. "They might have some trouble with it at the start but they're gonna accept it whether they like it or not." Justin said.
++++++++++++
"Where have you been?" Brad asked the green eyed blue haired youth as he came into the room.
"Nowhere." Rich answered as he stepped to the row of clothes that was set up for them.
"I see." Brad replied with a grin. "Stalking loverboy again, huh?"
"Get off!" Rich replied as he grabbed an Abercrombie sleeveless shirt.
"Dude, what's wrong with you?" Brad asked.
"Dude...dude..." Rich said sarcastically getting all worked up. "What if I shoved this hanger up your ass, dude?"
"Touchy." Brad replied rolling his eyes.
Rich took a deep breath before he turned to look at his friend. "Brad, I'm sorry. It's just that...that kid annoys the shit out of me." Rich said as his face tensed up.
"Who?"
"That...that curly haired ghetto cowboy wannabe who thinks he's all that." Rich blurted out.
Brad laughed at the picture that Rich created with his description. "You mean Justin?"
"Who else? He's such a phony. Comes off like he's all sure of himself. Hey, I'm handsome." Rich said rolling his eyes and alternating his voice. "I'm great. I have a great body. Come touch it. I'm all muscles. All the teenies love me. I'm on the cover of all these magazines. What an ass." Rich said ending his imitation.
Brad laughed again. "I'm sure its not that bad."
"Not that bad...not that bad? I'm betting that he spends three hours trying to get his hair all perfect and five more in the make-up chair to cover all his zits. He probably does all that exercise because he's has self-esteem issues. He probably thinks that nobody will like him if he's ugly, which he already is anyway." Rich replied pouring it on.
"Dude, you crack me up when you're mad." Brad replied laughing.
"I'm not kidding." Rich said with a straight face. "I'm talking to Nick and then he comes up and acts all innocent and lovey dovey. Oh, I get to hug Nick." Rich said changing his voice back. "I get to kiss him on the neck. We're going to a club tonight. Whatever Pooh Bear wants, he gets." Rich said annoyingly.
"Pooh Bear?" Brad asked.
"Yeah, Pooh Bear. Justin's nickname for Nick. God, what kind of mind would make such a stupid nickname."
"Justin's!" Brad said reassuringly.
"Yeah, see. I could think of way better nicknames and even if you can't why would anybody choose Po-oh Bear. Baby, honeypie, sweetie, anything but Pooh Bear. What? Does he think Nick is some hairy ass bear that lives in a cave."
"That's a frightening picture Rich." Brad shouted.
"Come on, Nick's an angel sent from the heavens. He's handsome, wonderful, and glorious. Everything about him wants you to come out and do a sing and dance number."
"Way too Broadway for me Rich." Brad interjected.
"Nick deserves much way better than Justin. Justin from Nsync. That band is crappy anyways. You've got some albino dude, a mess up clown, a dude who just doesn't belong, and another who's in need of a reality check."
"Good one." Brad said laughing.
"Nick should be with someone who's sweet, gentle, loving, someone who'll be everything he wants and needs. Someone who's going to understand him and accept him for who he is." Rich said as his voice softened.
"I wonder who that could be?" Brad asked rolling his eyes.
"Nick should be with me." Rich yelled out. "He should not be with someone who's got crack in the head." Rich added.
"How do you suppose that could ever happen?" Brad asked.
"I'll make it happen." Rich said determinedly.
"Rich." Brad said concerned.
"Don't you start." Rich said as he gave a death stare to Brad. "Nick's mine and I'm gonna get him no matter what." Rich said as his eyes glistened.
To Be Continued...
P.S. Please don't send me flames saying how I made fun of Nsync in the last scene. I love Nsync and the BSB and if I didn't I wouldn't even be writing this. It was just part of the story and maybe a small laugh for some people. :-)