Disclaimer: This story is fiction and does not represent the real people that might be mentioned here. If you are under 18 or if it is illegal to read this in the country where you live, the city where you are, etc. then don't. Again, this is just some fantasy I concocted in my head so don't get insulted.
Author's Note: It's been kind of hectic so sorry. Work sucks, school sucks, but at least it's the holidays. I hope everyone enjoyed their Thanksgiving and I just wanted to give a little shout out to everyone with a Happy Holidays. Also, my very very good friend Z who writes "I Just Wanna Be With U" she's a great person and a great writer. So, on with the show.
Chapter 11: Don't Wanna Lose Written by: "Bear"
Brian was in ecstasy. He was in pure pleasure as he was laying down on the soft bed. He let his partner do the work which was fine for him. He opened his eyes slightly and looked down upon the young boy that bobbed his head up and down on his tool. The young man knew how to pleasure him. Taking the length of the penis inside his mouth and slowly bringing himself back up to the head. Licking the purple knob and using his tongue to probe the slit slightly. Then slowly bring himself back down again and using his warm and soft mouth to engulf Brian's manhood.
Brian was close but he wanted it to last longer. Something in the back of his mind made it want to last. He wanted more and more but the blond adonis was working him in a frenzy. `God, he's a pro.' Brian thought to himself. Soft moans from Brian turned to loud groans. He knew he was close but tried to put off the inevitable. His body started to tremble as he tried to control himself. "Oh...Uhhh....I'm clo...close." Brian managed to say. The blond youth paid no attention to the man's cries but kept on his quest for that flavorful explosion. "Ohhh...please...Ni...Nicky...that's it...right there." Finally, Brian couldn't last longer and shot his full load into Nick's mouth. Nick kept his mouth on the tightening tool and savoured Brian's glory.
Nick swallowed Brian's juice and kept his mouth on Brian's softening penis. Nick let himself get lost in the moment trying to remember some of the good times they had shared. Nick slowly went up Brian's lean body placing soft kisses from his torso to his neck. When he was at Brian's level he saw the expression he had achieved on his lover's face. Brian had his eyes close and was in dream-like state. Nick unconciously smiled to himself as he felt a warmth inside. He was happy that he could show Brian his care for him.
Nick bent his head down carefully and placed a kiss on Brian's cheek to wake him from his bliss. Brian stirred slightly and opened his eyes. Brian slowly regained his full consciousness and saw two piercing blue eyes looking at him. Brian tried to admire Nick's face as the youth had a goofy smile written upon him. Brian couldn't help but smile back. Then, Nick slowly bent his head down again trying to give Brian a kiss on the lips. Brian suddenly felt an urgency about him as he turned away from Nick's effort.
Nick felt a sudden coldness enter the room as he turned himself away from Brian's body. Brian then got up from the bed and proceeded to put on his clothes. Nick felt like a semi just hit him and left him for dead. He slowly sat up and grabbed the bed sheets unconsciously. It was like a security blanket that he needed right at that second. Nick took a look at Brian who was now putting on his pants. Nick's gazed back down the bed and with a lack-luster tone asked Brian a question. "Umm...where ya going?"
Brian was now putting his shirt on with his back towards Nick. Brian didn't turn around but kept on doing what he was doing. Brian sighed for a moment. "I have to go and get ready, Nick. My mom will probably want me there early or something. Plus I want to help with dinner."
Nick had a sickening feeling at his stomach and knew not why it was there. He turned up to look at Brian but he still had his back towards him. "Do you want me to come with you?" Nick asked in a low soft voice.
Brian with all his clothes back in order finally turned to look at Nick. "No, that's okay. I'll just go ahead before you guys. I think I just want to spend some time with my family alone." Nick turned his gaze away from Brian and looked at the bed once again. "Then you guys come around six or something, okay?" Nick slowly nodded his head not looking up at Brian. Brian then walk up to the bed and gave Nick a kiss on the top of his head before Brian walked out of the room.
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Lance made his way down the hall of their floor slowly. He was out of breath and was tired from all the effort he exerted. He lazily walked down the corridor of doors until he reached the one he was looking for. He knocked on it lightly and waited for an answer. "It's open." A voice from the other side yelled.
Lance opened the door slowly and made his way inside. He took a look around and saw Chris and Joey. He was so exhausted that he made his way to a chair near the door. "What happened Lance?" Joey asked concerned for his friend.
"Yeah, what did you do? You look like you've just ran a marathon or something." Chris continued.
Lance sighed and slouched in his seat. His hair was wet and his clothes were damp from his sweat. "Yeah, I guess you guys could say that."
"Why what did you do?" Joey questioned.
"I played basketball with Justin." Lance said as he exhaled heavily.
Chris meanwhile started laughing. "Why did you do that? He probably beat the crap out of you. Wipe the court clean. Clean your clocks."
"Okay, stop with the analogy Chris. We get it." Joey said exasperated. He then went to the small refrigerator inside the room and got a bottle of Evian for Lance. Joey approached Lance and opened the bottle before giving it to him. "You okay, man? You know better than to play with Justin one on one. You can't even make a free throw shot. What would make you do such a thing?"
Lance took some gulps out of bottle and started to feel a little bit better. At least he wasn't dehydrated anymore but he was still tired. "Cause he asked me to and he wanted to play."
"You don't even like playing. Why didn't you get JC to play instead?"
"Cause Justin is still not talking to JC."
"What's up with that anyway?" Chris decided to interject.
Lance took another gulp of his water as his two bandmates waited for an answer. "Justin and JC had an argument. JC yelled and then Justin yelled."
"So what?" Joey said, "they fight all the time. What's the difference this time?"
"Yeah," Chris added, "they hardly even say hi to each other...they just head off in different directions whenever they see each other."
"Because JC is hard-headed and Justin can be as well when he wants to."
"So what did they fight about anyway that is so important?" Joey asked.
Lance laughed slightly. "That's the weird thing actually. I don't even understand it fully. I talked to JC and he said that Justin was being childish. He said that Justin needed to grow up and take some responsibility over his own actions. Justin though said all he wanted to do was talk to JC about Nick." Lance paused for a second rethinking if he should say the next thing that popped in his mind. "He's been kind of lonely you know. JC's been busy with writing songs. I'm trying to organize FreeLance. You're doing your clothing line." Lance paused for a second and looked at Joey.
Joey looked at Lance with a puzzled expression. "And what's my reason?"
"He said you're too busy noticing girls to even hold a decent conversation." Lance answered sheepishly.
"Where is he?" Chris asked as he got up from his chair and headed for the door.
Lance instantly got some energy and stepped in front of Chris. "Chris don't do anything harsh."
"I'm not going to do anything bad I just want to talk to him."
"Chris let's just let him be right now." Chris slowly back away from Lance. "Come on, let's put ourselves in his shoes." Lance reasoned. "He's 18 years-old and can't even go outside without being pursued by every teenage girl that walks by. By any standards he should be finishing high school right now and doing some stupid things. Going out on dates, playing basketball for the school, going to prom."
"Yeah, but you're 21 Lance and you're okay." Joey finally said something.
"Yes but I also got to do all those things. I got to go school and feel how it was to just let loose and hang out with my friends. He didn't. When he's on the road he only has us and the crewmembers. That's not much of a social life."
"But we go to clubs all the time and there's tons of people at our concerts." Chris added.
"And how many people there actually want to know the real Justin? Not the guy from N'Sync."
Chris thought for a second before answering. "Maybe he should just grow up? Just accept the fact that this is how life is. Maybe JC is right on this one?"
Lance looked upon his friend disappointedly. "JC's being selfish right now. Justin's done a lot of growing up in the last couple of years and really fast. He deserves to be a little kid once in awhile. Act goofy and bring out some innocence in him." Chris nodded at what Lance was saying. "Look at you. You're the craziest one out of all of us and you're the oldest." Chris dropped his head in shame about what he said about Justin. He felt guilt that even though Justin was the youngest out of all of them that sometimes he would act like the most mature one.
They all sat in quiet for moments trying to figure things the thoughts that flew through their head. "So what do we do now?" Chris said finally breaking the silence.
"Just try and be there I guess." Lance kind of laughed out.
"Yeah and break sweat as we try to keep up with him on the court." Chris answered back laughing.
"Yeah you could say that." Lance laughed back.
"Wait." Joey shouted. "Wait." Joey said again trying to get his friends' attention. Lance and Chris both stopped laughing and focused their attention at Joey. Joey sat back for a second trying to absorb all the information that was just said. Something didn't add up. "What's with Nick? Why did Justin want to talk to JC about Nick?"
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The doorbell rang. A nice looking woman with brown haired approached the front door. She reached for the knob and turned it and opened the door. She gave out a sigh and opened her arms as she saw the figure that stood in front of her. "Happy Thanksgving!" she said ecstatically.
The tall dark and handsome man brought the woman into his arms as he stepped into the house. "Happy Thanksgivng Aunt Jackie."
"How are you doing Kevin?"
"Better, now that I'm here in your capable cooking hands."
"It's good that you know." The woman laughed ending her embrace. "Where's the others?" She said looking behind Kevin.
"They're still getting out of the car. I ran up to the front door to greet you." Kevin smiled.
"You sure are a sweet-talker Mr. Richardson." Jackie smiled back at Kevin. She grabbed Kevin's hand as they headed out of the door. "Now come on and let's get them. What took you so long anyway?" She asked as they headed into the porch.
"Nick took his sweet time getting ready. He didn't even want to go at first but I told him you'd be disapointed if he didn't. That got him."
"You sure do know how to pull a guilt trip on a guy. So is he feeling a little under the weather?" Jackie said a little concerned.
"No, I don't think so." Kevin answered truthfully.
"Maybe he just misses his family for the holidays."
"Maybe." Kevin answered unconvincingly.
They approached the two black limos and saw that Howie and AJ already out in one but no sign of Nick. When Howie and AJ saw them approaching AJ started to run towards them. He instantly hugged Jackie and picked her up and twirled around. Jackie was laughing hysterically before AJ put her feet back on the ground. "Happy Thanksgiving Aunt Jackie." AJ said with the biggest smile on his face.
"Happy Thanksgiving to you too AJ."
Howie them approached her shyly. "I don't know how to beat that so I'll just say Happy Thanksgiving." Howie said before giving the woman a kiss on the cheek.
"That will more than do Howie. Happy Thanksgiving." Jackie checked behind Howie to look for Nick but instead found five good-looking guys.
Kevin once again took control of the situation as he stepped next to Jackie. "Aunt Jackie, you remember the guys of N'Sync?"
"I'm afraid not that well." She answered truthfully.
"Well, this guy with the blazing red hair would be Joey. Then this guys with the the spiky blond hair and Louisiana accent is Lance. The crazy one who just got a hair cut would be Chris. Then the well-mannered and song-writer would be JC. And this curly blond would be Justin."
She shook all the guys hands and said, "Happy Thanksgiving."
JC replied, "I want to thank you for letting us spend the holiday with your family Mrs. Littrell."
"I guess you're right about him Kevin." Jackie said. "No, it's our pleasure. Please make yourself at home."
"That's why we love you so much." AJ said as he once again hugged Jackie.
"Okay, AJ that's enough. Thank you." AJ slowly started to let go. "And yes AJ I got your request. I made it especially for you this morning."
AJ once again hugged the woman and kissed her on the cheek. "Thank you. Thank you."
"Okay, okay. Come on." Jackie said laughing. She looked at the guys and asked, "Where's Nick?"
"He's still in the limo." Answered Howie.
"Well, go get him. I want to see my boy." She exclaimed. Howie then moved towards the limo to get Nick.
AJ, meawhile, took a step back to talk to Kevin. He murmured silently, "I thought I was the good child. I'm suppose to be the favorite."
"Oh stop being a baby AJ." Kevin said looking at what Howie was doing. Howie opened the door and propped his head inside the car. He said something that couldn't be heard and then started his way back again towards the group.
"He's coming." Howie said as he reached them.
Nick stepped out of the limo wearing black dress pants and a cool blue knit sweater. He slowly closed the door and walked towards the group that stood in the middle of the yard. He lazily came up to them and took a look towards Jackie. They didn't say a word but Jackie came up to him and brought him into her arms. Nick held onto her as if he let go he would lose her forever. He needed comfort and her arms held that need for that second. "You feelin' okay hon?" She asked softly. Nick didn't say a word but just nodded his head. "Come on you'll feel better with some food in your stomach." They separated from their embrace and Jackie took a hold of Nick's hand. "Come on guys let's go in and start dinner." They all followed her and started to file into the house
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The dining table was lavishly decorated with sterling silverware, cloth napkins, and gorgeous china. The mood of the room was set with four candlesticks across the table. In the head of the table sat Harold Senior and to his right, Jackie. Jackie then sat with Nick on her right, then Kevin, Howie, and Joey. On Harold's left sat Brian, Lance, Justin, JC, and Chris. AJ, meanwhile, sat on the foot of the table across from Harold. They all gathered there with a delicious feast in front of them.
Before they ate, Harold wanted to say a little prayer. "God, today of all days we would like to give thanks. First, we would like to remember our loved ones, family, and friends who could not be here with us today whether passed on to a better existence or to celebrate this glorious day with their own family. We thank you for bringing us together and giving us all these blessings. We celebrate your glory and your kindness in what you have provided for us. Let our prosperity grace into the new millennium under your guidance. God, for all this and more we thank you."
Everyone in the table did the usual cross and said "Amen" in unison. "Okay, now how about we go around the table and share what we are thankful for." Jackie suggested.
Brian went first and look around the table. "I'm thankful for the gift that God has given me. The talent that he's provided and the chance to share it with the world. I want to thank my brothers because if not for them I wouldn't be able to do what I do. The pleasure they've given me." Brian said looking straight at Nick. He pause for a second and then, "I'm thankful for the health I've been given with and hope to continue. And finally, my family for always being there." Nick slouched down in his seat knowing what the comment meant.
Lance then went, "First, of course I would like to thank God for the opportunities he's given us and all the blessings. Then I want to thank you guys, the Backstreet Boys, for letting us open for you. Thank you for letting us promote our stuff for the new album. I hope it's a start for a great relationship." Everyone agreed in the table and nodded their head.
Justin being on Lance's left was next. "I guess it's my turn, huh? I'd like to thank God of course for everything he's done. Then, I'd like to thank my friends," Justin paused for a second and looked straight at Nick, "I want to thank God for the friends he's given me. I wouldn't be able to do anything without them."
Tension suddenly filled the room and most of the guys knew it. JC was next on the list and he waited gracefully wanting to make sure Justin was finished. "Foremost I want to thank God. He's our guide and our provider." JC paused too trying to think of the right words to say. "I want to thank Him for the friendships I've made. To help me overcome my own flaws and to find a better me." JC said quietly as his voice seemed to drown as his speech went on.
Chris took a deep sigh and knew this was getting deep. "I want to thank Him." Chris said raising and pointing both of his hands to the sky. Everyone chuckled at that. "I want to thank the Littrell's for having us. For letting us eat their food. And for being understanding of the crazy behavior my friends have." Chris finished with a smile on his face.
AJ looked at Chris with a frown. Somehow, Chris took his shine away. "I want to thank Him. I want to thank Aunt Jackie and Uncle Harold for doing this for us, especially Aunt Jackie for making my favorite dish." AJ smiled widely looking at Jackie. "And I'm thankful for everything I've been given and have gone through this year."
It was Joey's turn and he decided to be witty. "I want to thank God for not letting my hair fall out. Thank you for not letting me look like a clown." He looked at everyone and they shared a laugh together. "Seriously though I want to thank my family, my extended family for their love and support."
Howie then went, "I'm thankful for Him giving us good health and good fortune." Howie said clearly and concisely.
Kevin then said, "I'm thankful for Him for guiding us and helping us through all the tribulations we've faced. Carrying us through the hardships and laughing with us through the good times." Kevin took a look around the table. "To the Auntie Jackie, Uncle Harold, the BSB, and N'Sync." Kevin then proceeded to raise up his glass while everyone followed suit. "To the Backstreet Boys and N'Sync." Everyone followed suit by saying the words and sipping a little from their wine glass.
Nick slowly put his wine glass down and stare at his empty plate. He knew he had to say something. Something important, something from the heart. He kept his stare at the table and proceeded to say the first thing that came out. "I want to thank the people who's always been there for me." Nick stopped again trying to figure out more to say. "You know who you are. My actions have or are not always right. Sometimes they're probably downright wrong." Nick giggled a little but still kept his gaze down at the table. "I'm thankful for putting up with me. Even though my actions don't say it...my heart has always been in the right place." Nick almost said in a whisper.
Jackie put her arm around the blond youth and rubbed his back softly. "Well, I'm thankful for you guys sharing this day with us. For Brian coming home and my boys to spend their Thanksgiving with me and Harold. I know Harold is spending today with his girlfriend's family but that's another story." Jackie laughed out. "But I'm still thankful for everything God has given us."
Harold Senior stood up from his chair and raised his glass. "I want to thank God and everything He's done for my family." Everyone the raised their glass and drank some wine. Then they all sat done and started their meal together.
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Howie slowly opened the sliding door to the backyard patio. He stepped out and felt a cool wind hit his whole body. He shivered slightly before sliding the door close again. "Hey Kev, what are you doing out here? The party is inside."
Kevin stood facing the horizon. It was dark outside but the stars kept him company. Cities always seem to manage by blocking off the stars but tonight, where he was, he could see a couple. "Nothing Howie. Just needed time to think." Kevin answered still looking up at the sky.
Howie approached Kevin closer and stood beside him. "Do you want to talk about it?"
Kevin took his focus away from the stars and looked upon his friend, his bandmate. "You want to know something, Howie?" Howie didn't answer knowing it was a rhetorical question. "Brian did it again. He managed to get what he wanted and not even think of the consequences." Howie didn't say anything as he knew Kevin just needed someone to bounce his thoughts off. "He got what he wanted and I can't do anything about it. He broke Nick's heart the first time and now I'm just afraid he broke Nick down this time."
"It's okay Kevin." Howie said trying to sooth Kevin's fears.
"No, it's not okay D." Kevin said raising his voice a fraction. "I love him." Kevin murmured.
Howie was shocked by Kevin's revelation. He was overcome for words. "Uh... Kevin, umm..."
Kevin looked upon Howie's face mixed with confusion and scare. "It's not like that Howie. I care for him and I want the best for him."
Howie took a deep breath as if a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. "Okay, I thought you wanted Nick."
"I did once." Kevin quickly answered.
As quickly as the weight had been lifted off Howie's shoulder he felt it come back on again. "What? What do you mean?"
Kevin turned away from Howie walking and trying to figure out the words he wanted to convey. "Brian and Nick was still together. I thought it was nice and sweet. Nick was so innocent back then. Still 16 but so in love with Brian. Their friendship grew and their love developed. Nick was so honest and true with his feelings. He was so engrossed in Brian. It was wonderful to see. Brian knew this of course and used it. Nick was too blinded by love to see it but I could. Brian would cheat on him and at first Nick didn't suspect anything. Then he started to mature and started to see the signs but still wouldn't believe his Brian would do such a thing. He would come to me for help but I didn't want to betray my cousin, Howie." Kevin stopped with his story telling and looked at Howie. Howie just stared at Kevin part in disbelief and shock. "Nick would come to me at night sometimes and just cry about Brian. Brian would get angry at him. Sometimes even get abusive. Nick would always forgive him though finding solace that love endures. Then one night. I remember it like it was yesterday. It's a little over a year. Brian and him called it quits. He was so much in need and I was in need. We needed each other at that point. We made love to each other and it was the most beautiful thing."
"You and Nick had...had...had..." Howie tried to say it but it wouldn't come out.
"It wasn't a one night stand, Howie. It was one night but it was special. We were there for each other. We needed each other. It meant something."
"So do you want him, Kevin? Do you want Nick?"
"I care for him, Howie. I love to take care of him. To know that he's okay but as for more I don't know. It hurts me to see him hurt."
Howie sighed and thought for a moment. "I don't know what to say Kevin. You drop a bomb like this on a guy. I have no words of advice for you."
"That's okay D. It just feels good that somebody out there knows about this little part of me that no one else in the world does."
"Anytime Kevin. Anytime." Howie said putting an arm around his friend. "Now come on. Let's go back in there and enjoy our day off." Kevin just nodded and followed his friend back inside.
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Everyone was back in the living room sharing some good conversation and some tasty after meal treats when the doorbell rang. Jackie got up and told everyone that she was going to get it. Everyone in the room kept on with their conversation until Jackie came back stopping in the doorway to the living room. "Guys, I have a surprise for you."
"Really, what?" AJ said excitedly.
"Actually, it's something for Brian." AJ face instantly fell knowing that the surprise wasn't for him. Brian got up from his chair by his father and started to walk towards his mom. "Someone's here to surprise you."
The figure of a woman walked from behind Jackie to give everyone in the room a look at her. "Surprise!" the woman yelled.
"Honeybunch!" Brian screamed as he ran towards his girlfriend. "What are you doing here?"
"I thought I'd surprise you. I got my parents to move up our dinner so I could take a plane and catch you guys here."
"That's a wonderful surprise." Brian said quickly before giving Linda a passionate kiss in front of everyone.
Kevin's instantly took his stare away from the two to glance at Nick. Nick looked like he's just been crush and his heart being cut up into a thousand pieces. As almost everyone was still looking at Brian and Linda, Nick slowly got up from chair and walked out of the room.
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Nick sat in one of the couches in the den. The room was tucked away in one of the corners of the house and was one of his favorite places to go when he needed to think. He'd been over at Brian's house enough times to know what places to go when he needed to be alone or hide. Nick then heard some clamoring come close towards him and tried to see the stranger that has entered his dominion.
"I've been looking all over for you. You're pretty good at hide and seek." He tried to make Nick laugh.
"I'm not in the mood Justin."
"I'm sorry. Um...I guess I should go." Justin said as he started to walk away.
Suddenly he felt a hand grab his arm. Nick held onto him but did not look his way. Justin walked back to Nick, passing him and sharing a seat with him on the couch. Nick now looked upon Justin's face knowing that there was a treasure within him. "I'm sorry for being such a jerk."
"No, Nick..."
"No, let me finish." Nick interjected. "I've been an asshole. At first I tried my best to become your friend and then I totally ignore that you were even there. I'm sorry for that."
"I can understand that." Justin said taking his eyes away from Nick and putting his gaze down upon the floor.
Nick reached for Justin's face and made it look into his. He felt his heart skip a beat for a second and gently caressed Justin's face. "No, you shouldn't have to understand it. You've been great Justin." Justin smiled at Nick's comment. "I just screw up sometimes and I'm sorry I left you behind."
"Nick, I know you have something that's bothering you. I don't know what it is but I'm here for you. I don't care if you never tell me or whatever but I just want you to know."
"Thanks Justin." Justin then reached for Nick and pulled him into a hug.
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JC and Lance was sitting in the living room with the others but held their own little conversation. "Go to him JC. Tell him that you're sorry."
"He won't even look at me. You were lucky you got him to sit by me during dinner."
"You guys will never get over this if one of you doesn't try to work this out."
"Then why does it have to be me?" JC asked snobbishly.
"Because you guys are both hard-headed, childish, and you're the older one so suck it up and do it." Lance said raising his voice at JC.
JC was shocked at Lance's action. Lance never raised his voice to anyone or ha JC ever seen it. JC merely shook his head in agreement. "Okay, I'll do it. Where is he?"
"I saw him walking that way." Lance said pointing to one of the halls.
JC walked down the corridors and halls of the house trying to find where Justin went to. He then heard some sort of conversation going on and headed for that direction. He soon saw a few locks of block hair and felt a wind get out of him. Then he saw Justin sitting next to Nick. They were talking intensely. JC stood by the doorway in the dim light trying to see what was going on. Then he saw Justin give Nick and hug and hold him tightly. JC suddenly felt a bad feeling surround and engulf his whole being. Something wasn't right in what he was seeing. He just shook his head and headed back to the direction he came from.