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Down And Out by Jeremy Warren
Things are not always easy when youre classified as a freak. Im not even sure why Im classified that way, I dont wear black make-up or have daydreams of killing everything that lives. No, I mean the type of freak that is naturally born.
You see, there are a few rules when it comes to being gay, heres a couple just for example: 1) you have to be cute as hell and 2) you have to have less than two ounces of fat on your body in order for the gay community to even notice you. If your'e sitting there thinking "Thats so not true, I like a few husky guys..." Bullshit. It just doesnt happen that way in the real world. Not for me anyways.
The freak I mentioned earlier is me, at 17 I was blessed to be 6'4 tall. However I wasnt so lucky in the bodily department because I was naturally fitted with a muscular, braud-shouldered frame that came complete with extra weight. Imagine a 17 year old that has the face of Liev Shrieber, the body of the young version of Mr. Incredible from the Disney movie but with a belly, add a full head of closely trimmed jet black hair and you got me. I'm not obese, but im a big guy. Thats the best way I could sum it all up.
Now my school days went by slowly. Day in and day out I would just go to class, sit in those tiny desks that have the chair attached to them, listen to the teacher go on and on about crap that I really didnt care about, then leave. Didn't really have any friends so I was on time to all my classes and ate alone at the lunch tables. All in all it was a rather lonely existance.
This morning was a little different however, my classes were going by as usual to a schedule of boredom when the next thing I knew I heard a "CRACK!" and I shot up with a heart attack knocking my seat-desk thing back onto the floor behind me.
"Mr. Freedman, the next time I catch you sleeping in my class I wont be so nice. Your lucky I decided against pouring a glass of ice water over your head. Now wake up or get out of my class room and take your absence!"
"Yes, Mrs. Donovan."
Now if that wasn't embarrasing enough, right at that moment the little red telephone on the wall behind the teachers desk rang. I thought I was in serious trouble when the teacher turned to look at me and had this evil-looking "I got you now, you son of a bitch!" grin on her face. Hanging up the phone she said to me "Mr. Freedman, pack up your things and go to Pricipal Marley's office. Apparently you're in trouble for something, I could only imagine what. Lord know's you deserve whatever punishment he gives you, plus whatever he doesn't give you. And frankly I dont want you sleeping in my class anymore today. So get out, and your recieving an absence for this... I dont care what you say."
The second her mouth shut I thought to myself "Bitch". She then ran over to me and screamed in a manner befitting the holy apocolypse, "WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME YOUNG MAN?!?!?!" Did I really just say that out loud??? Aww, crap! I gave her the most sarcastic face along with a "cheshire cat" grin, twinkled my fingers at her in a sheepish wave goodbye and said "Nothing, ma'am!" Thats when I slammed the door shut behind me, and not a moment too soon! I could hear her nagging to the rest of the classroom as I was walking away from the door. So off I went down the empty corridor that lead to the Principal's office, I had taken notice of how peaceful it was without the parade of students running around.
Opening the door I was greated by the Principal's assistant, Susan. She always has been a real polite and friendly woman regardless of how much trouble you were in. I admired that about her, she never rubbed it in your face that you were a bad kid. She then gave me a warm smile "Hello, Mr. Freedman, go right in sweetheart, Principal Marley is expecting you". I smiled back at her and told her thank you, and proceeded to the door.
The second I entered I saw that Principal Marley was talking with another student. "Oh, sorry Sir!" Feeling a little akward that I had just walked in on the Principal lecturing another student I immediately started to step back out of the room. "No, Mr. Freedman, its ok, please come in! I would like you to meet Jakob. He's 15, from Germany, and was sent to live here in Texas with his cousin after his mother passed away last month. I was hoping you could be the one to work with him these next few weeks to help him get adjusted."
"Um, sure...no problem Sir, but does he speak english? I'm afraid I dont know German." With that Jakob stood up, walked over to me and put me into a quick thankful hug, and with an extremely heavy accent said "Yes, I speak english, I learned back in Deutchland." As he stood there I got to finally see his face, and he was really cute! Blond headed, bright grey eyes, slightly shorter than I am... gorgeous! he may have been 15 years old but he still had the face of a roudy 10 year old! And that damned smile of his took him from cute to freakin adorable! And accents make me melt!
The bell rang for lunch period, startling Jakob as it sounded. I was about to show him to the cafeteria when Principal Marley stopped me and pulled me aside. "Mr. Freedman, I chose you because you can relate to him, he just lost his mother. You lost your father last year, I thought it might do him some good to be with someone who knows what hes going through, you know? Someone who can be there for him when he's feeling insecure in a new school in a foreign country. As I'm sure he does already."
"Yes sir, I understand. I remember that I had wished many times that there could have been someone for me to talk to when I needed it." I just stood there thinking back on my life over the last year and the pain came back to me in an overwhelming flash. I forced myself to snap out of my daze because I didn't want the Principal to see me begin to cry, not when he is trusting me with this responsibility. "I will do the best I can to make sure Jakob knows he has a friend he can talk to."
Mr. Marley just looked at me with a look of sincerety and said "Good job, Jeremy, I'm sure he will do just fine with you helping him out. Its lucky we had you here otherwise he would have a rather difficult time. Ok, I have already had him placed in all of your classes with you and you will also be given a hall pass that will be good for the rest of the week. As this is Monday you will have ample time to get him acquainted with where everything is within the school. You may take your time in helping him to learn his way around the school, but a week long pass does not grant you the right to purposely miss out on your classes!" He had to do the authority-like, 'point your finger in the air towards me to make sure I got the point' thing. "Are we understood, young man?"
"Yes Mr. Marley, understood."
I turned around and collected Jakob and my book bag and headed out of the office where I was once again greeted by Susan, the Prinipal's assistant. She looked at me and smiled, turned to Jakob and saw he was looking a little down. She placed her hand under his chin and lifted his face up to meet hers. "Dont you worry, sweetheart. Mr. Freedman here is a good guy, you'll be fine with him." She handed us our passes and gave Jakob one last look over. With a pat on the back she said goodbye to us both and we proceeded out towards the main corridor to the lunchroom.
On the way to the cafeteria Jakob was walking a bit slow. I just figured he was having a really rough time with the new environment. And the fact that almost EVERYONE was being overly nice to him didn't help. I know how that goes... when I lost my dad everyone I knew was like that too.
After a while it gets to the point where you dont want to hear "I'm sorry for your loss" or "You'll get through this" ever again for the rest of your life. You just wished everything would go back to normal... or at least as normal as things can get without the person who passed away. As we were walking down the hall Jakob spotted the restroom off to his right and he came to a sudden stop. He just looked at me with those puppy eyes and asked if he can make a quick stop.
I stood there and told him to take his time as it was only the lunch hour now and that I would wait here for him. He slowly handed me his bag, which was heavy as hell due to all of his new school books and entered through the door. I waited for a couple mins with the memories of my past year going through my head, recalling every detail of my return to school. I was searching my mind for things that might aid in my attempts to help Jakob.
I looked at my watch and noticed that it had been nearly ten minutes since he had gone in and thought to myself that this kid must really have to go! I continued to wait patiently for him while thinking and decided that I would make the attempt to be a true friend to him. I was going to ask him if he would like to hang out after school, it might not help him forget what has happened in his life, but it would atleast get him out and help to pass some time doing things with other people. I had found that it helps when you realise that life still goes on and that its still full of wonderful things, and for me that was best acomplished by being with friends.
Sudden revalation hits me "damnit! now I have to go!". So I entered the restroom and looked for the book bag racks they had on the wall in every bathroom, and hung our bags. I aproached a urinal, unzipped and opened the flood gates. Oh God that felt good! Soon as I zipped up I heard an all too familiar sound that made me just cringe in sympathy. Sobbing.
"Jakob, is that you? Are you ok?"
In a rather patheticly quiet voice I heard him say "No, I just can't seem find myself these days."
His responce confused me for a second. I had to stop and think about it to understand his meaning, he feels alone and lost. "Jakob, can you open the door? I'd like to talk to you." He opened the stall door and I saw him curled up on top of the toilet seat. He was hugging his legs and rocking himself gently, and I could see tears had stained his beautiful face.
"Boy Jakob, your'e a mess, buddy."
I knelt down next to him, gave him a quick glance over, and lifted my arm to lightly rub his back. That was always something that soothed me when I was feeling bad. This poor kid was heart broken and it about tore me up to see him like this, nobody deserves to lose a parent at such a young age. Especially a mother, thats like ripping a child's heart out. I took a piece of toilet paper and held up his face so I could wipe his tears, he looked at me with his big beautiful eyes that twinkled from the moisture.
"You are very nice, like the lady said you would be". He lifted his hand and ran his palm over my cheek very gently. It felt so amazingly warm, and I could tell this was his way of saying thank you. "Is that something your mother used to do?". He looked up to match his eyes to mine and I could see that he was in deep thought.
"Yes, my mother was always sad, when I tried to make her feel better she would do this to me. I'm sorry, Jeremy. Is it ok that I do this?" The look on his face changed from thought and went back to a state of sadness. His eyes never left mine, but he immediately pulled his hand away at my lack of a responce. The look of sadness on his face changed once again, but this time you could very clearly see shame. I felt so bad, I really should have said something because I thuroughly enjoyed the feel of his soft hands on my face. They felt like satin of the finest quality being draped over my face.
I raised my hand and carressed his face just as he had done to mine, I could see the tears begin to slow from his eyes and he looked at me. "Jakob, that made me feel nice to know that you just shared something that personal with me. Dont be afraid to talk to me, ok? Im here with you because I lost my dad last year, and I know how hard it is."
Jakob just gazed at me kind of puzzled. "Really?"
"Didnt Pricipal Marley tell you? He placed you with me because he wanted you to have someone you can talk to who truely knows how hard it is. Its impossible to deal with this by yourself. I had a boat-load of questions that needed answering when I lost my dad, and I had no one there for me. So thats why Im saying that you can talk to me about anything. Anything at all, ok?" With that statement I opened up a whole new can of worms, because he leaned over and kissed me on the cheek. "Thanks" He said.
I blushed a thousand shades of red and he sure noticed... and he couldnt help but giggle at me! "Why do you do that to my kiss?" I told him that nobody has ever kissed me before, I'm not sure why but he didn't believe me when I said that. "Wow, really?"
"No"
He looked confused, "why?"
"The way I look"
Again, confused "What do you mean?"
"Everyone always ignores me because Im big."
He got a quirky smile on his face and said "I like big men!"
"You like guys?" I asked kind of stupidly
Jakob sat all the way up straight and announced "Yes, I like men. And I like you...your'e really nice, and I like the way you look. I think your'e very... whats the word...cute? But I don't know about you, do you not like me?"
I took the chance, I wanted to feel his lips so I went for it. I leaned in and eagerly kissed him. It didnt last nearly long enough. God it felt great to kiss him...so warm, so soft, and for these few seconds those lips were mine! When I pulled away he asked me "Why did you stop?" Seeing that I was clear to do it again, I kissed him again. There was so much passion within this second kiss, we momentarily became one person. Through the connectivity of our kiss I could feel every sensation he was feeling in his nerves, and Im sure he could feel mine.
Our heads were locked together so strongly you couldnt pull us apart to save our lives. He tasted so good that I instantly wanted to taste the rest of him... his neck, his nipples, his stomach, and then...! My hands searched and groped everything they could reach, then my right hand landed on his crotch... damn he was hard as a rock! I couldn't help myself, I rubbed and pulled at his dick so much that it made him moan in pleasure!
I was loving the moaning I was recieving from this absolutely gorgeous boy "Oh God, I want to s....."
RRRRIIIIIINNNNNNGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!
"Damnit!" I shouted as I was pulling away.
I didn't want to, but we had to stop. Any minute now students would be rushing into the bathroom and there was no way in hell we were going to get caught like this. Two guys in the boys bathroom, hiding in a stall making out and dry humping?. Yeah, can we spell disaster?!?!?! We packed up as quickly as we could, smiles on both of our faces.
We headed out just in time, students were rushing past us in a mad dash to go to the bathroom! God that was close! We walked down the hallways in silence, and I had this increasing feeling that something was wrong. Did I come on too strong? The silence was steadily killing me piece by piece as we walked. As we aproached our next class he turned, pulled me aside and finally spoke to me. "Can you promise that you wont hurt me? I'm not strong enough for that."
I got this painful feeling in my gut because I had forgotten how much he had been hurting, I knew something was wrong. How could I do this to him? I wanted to have him, but could I really love him? I've never been in love, and given my history of being a loner I didn't know if I was capable of giving him the love he deserves. I decided that I didnt care about me in this case, I couldn't be selfish... not this time.
I stood firm and leaned forward, slowly as not to startle him, and whispered in his ear. "I can not promise you anything that I am not certain about. However I can promise this... I promise I won't hurt you intentionally, and I promise to do my best to never hurt you accidentally. I promise that as long as it is within my power, I will be there whenever you need me." God it sounded so cheesy as I was saying it... but I meant it.
He looked me over, rather harshly I might add, but I guess he saw that I was being sincere in spite of my crappy 'after school special' speech. Jakob got this giant smile on his face and gave me a quick poke in the ribs, "Thats fair, I guess". We continued on to walk into the classroom, his little ass cheeks bouncing as he stepped. I wanted to grab them, but that would deffinately give us away!
The rest of the school day went rather uneventful. Some teachers commented on how cute Jakob was, others stated how unlucky he was to get stuck with me, some didnt care one way or the other they had a new student. Regardless, I had myself an adorable guy to hang around with, and maybe if things between him and I work out, I might have him for a long time! One could only hope so!
***There will be a follow-up chapter to this, not sure exactly how many installments there will be just yet. Please write to me at valor_101@yahoo.com and let me know if my story was any good. If you hated it, at least be nice about it, this is only the first story i've ever written after all!
There are absolutely NO truths to this work of fiction. I never lost my dad, in fact he is alive and well and living as comfortably as he can with my mother. Any similarities to any place or persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.