---Hey guys.. aight when I said I wasn't gonna be postin' here anymore.. well, I lied. Nah, the site idea was crappy so I decided to keep it goin' here. There's not much left to it anyway. Anyway, sorry for the wait and hope ya like it. ----
I left Andy's house early that morning to rush back to my house to pick out new clothes and fix myself up for school. Everyone was still asleep at the time and so the front door was locked. So I had no choice but to sneak back in the house through my bedroom window. I grabbed a pop-tart for breakfast and decided to take a slow walk to school.
The school day was a typical boring one. Nothing really special happened; up until lunch time that is. The lunch bell rang and everyone started storming for the cafeteria. I took a stop at my locker first to put in my books and maybe see if Mark would be hanging around there. Just like I had thought, Mark was standing around waiting in anticipation. As I approached, a smile formed on his face as he watched me trying to get my locker open.
"Hey Ricky" He said softly.
Having Mark wait for me at my locker was the coolest feeling, but at the pool he really hurt me. I couldn't just pretend that never happened and just talk to him now as if everything was perfect. "....Hi" I replied without looking at him.
Mark stood watching for a few seconds without saying anything. Maybe he was expecting me to ask him what he was doing here or waiting for me to give him shit for the way he treated me the day before. He sighed and put an arm on my shoulder to make me face him.
"Dude listen. I'm sorry okay. I didn't mean to act like such a jerk yesterday. I should have stopped those freaks but..." Before he could finish with his apology, those 'freaks' shuffled around us, giggling like idiots. Mark backed away from me and smiled at his friends.
"C'mon Mark! Aint ya comin' for lunch?" One of the guys said.
"Yeah, I'm....coming.." Mark took a glance at me then walked off with his friends. I was really beginning to get pissed off with the way Mark's treating me. If he likes me the way he says he does, then why's he pretending I don't even exist around his friends? Or even worse, why isn't he standing up for me when his friends got some stupid shit to say? Stupid sons of bitches, they don't have nothing better to do I guess. I dumped the stuff I didn't need in the locker and walked off to the cafeteria. Kial was already in the line waiting to be served when I stood in front of him. We didn't make much small talk, only flashed each other smiles.
I got my tray and walked over with Kial to our usual table. His boyfriend was already sitting there with Andy and a couple other of our friends. I took a seat next to Andy as he smiled at me. We talked as a group about a lot of things; nothing very important though. As we spoke, I noticed Mark, seated at the table near the back with his freak friends, glare at me from time to time. He didn't smile very much though. He just stared at me with those great eyes. I doubt Andy noticed though..at least I hope he didn't.
About 10 minutes before the end of lunch bell would ring, Andy and I decided to walk outside for some fresh air, and just to be alone to talk. But not much conversation was going on as we walked. I kept my head lowered to the floor, kicking little rocks as I walked.
"What are ya thinkin' about?" He asked, looking at me curiously.
"Oh," I answered, "..nuttin really"
"Common...you're way to quiet" He said. When I didn't reply after a bit, he sighed softly.
"It's me, isn't it?"
"What?" I asked surprised. "What do ya mean?"
He took a seat on the road curb across from the school building and lowered his head, as he picked up a stick and played around with it. "You lost it for me, didn't you?"
"Lost what!?" I answered a bit frustrated "I'm not sure what ya mean"
"Oh, quit acting so fuckin' retarded, Ricky. Just be honest with me. You don't like me anymore. Am I right?" He said.
"What makes you think that?" I asked
"I'm not fuckin' blind. I saw the way that Spencer kid was staring at you. And it's not like you did much better" He said, practically yelling.
I didn't say anything. I took a seat next to him, and then looked into his eyes. They were reddish, as I noticed a tear rush down his cheek.
"What's he got that I don't, Rick?," he asked sadly. "I know he's a lot better looking than me. And sure, he may be more popular than I am. But... I don't even know. You tell me"
"Andy, shut up all right. You're pretty freakin' good looking too. And who gives a flyin' fuck about popularity." I said, as I put an arm on his shoulder. "Dude, you mean a lot to me"
"So what was the deal with the staring?" He asked.
"It was nothin' Andy. Really." I tried to assure him. Sure, I was lying. But I didn't need him getting mad at me.
"You sure?" He asked, as he gave me one of those cute faces. "Yes. I'm sure"
With my hand, I wiped off a single tear before it reached the bottom of his face. His lips started to form a smile which brightened his face. I smiled back as I leaned into his ear and whispered, "I love you".
I noticed him look around us before he moved into my lips and kissed me. I moved back quickly, worried someone may have spotted us. I wasn't really ready to be 'known' just yet. He gave me a weird face as he told me that the coast was clear at the time.
"You can never be too careful" I reminded him as I reached out my hand to help him up.
"But you messed up this time" A voice called out of no where. All of a sudden, those freaks and Mark, jumped out of the bushes. I froze. My hands shook. My heart beat fast. I started to sweat. My face turned red. I was terrified. Looking over at Andy, I noticed his reaction was similar to mine.
"Well, Well, Well," The bitch of the group said. "So, you're also a faggot eh Ricky?"
"Go fuck yourself" I yelled back
"See, I'd say the same to you. But you have someone to do that for ya" She said, as she smiled.
The group started laughing as one of them, James, walked over to Andy with a stick, and began poking him as if to check if he was alive. "Hey guys," He called out to his group. "I think I found that someone".
My closed my fingers, forming a tight fist. I swung fast at James, knocking him to the ground. I was about ready to grab Andy's hand and run back into the school, until I got tackled down to the ground myself. The weight on my body was incredible. My face began to ache and my ribs crushed. I felt blood flow down my face, as I heard Andy yelling for them to get off me. I opened my eyes slightly, trying to view as best I could with a blur, seeing Andy being held by one member of the group. Mark. I continued to be beaten as I tried to fight back. But I didn't have much luck.
"Alright guys, leave him alone! Now!" Mark yelled at them. He let go of Andy and started pulling the guys off me. Just then, the principal of the school came racing out of the building and yelling for us to break it up. When he finally made it to where we were, carrying that 300lbs body of his, he began helping Mark pull them off.
After what felt like hours, the weight on my body wasn't existent anymore. My ribs? Well, still felt crushed. Andy gasped as he saw me lying on the floor, helpless. An ambulance was called and I was taken to the hospital. Andy rode with me, holding my hand but not able to look at me. The principal called the cops which were to deal with the mother-fuckers.
The next few hours were a complete blank to me. I couldn't remember a thing, other than hearing Andy's voice from time to time, trying to reassure me of something. I opened my eyes slowly, as I tried to get used to the light of the hospital room. Blurred images of what seem to be people were standing around me.
"Hi hun," I recognized my moms voice. "How you feeling?"
"I...I'm...al..alrigh..," I couldn't manage to finish the sentence. My mom put a finger on my lips to tell me not to talk. She reached for my hand and held it near her.
I looked around the room again, this time being more comfortable with the light, and recognized other people. Nick, Kial, Andy, and a nurse were there, gawking at my face. They gently smiled at me, mouthing the word 'hi'. I tried my hardest to smile back, but it hurt to move my face. Just then, the doctor came into the room.
"Hi there," he quickly looked in his clipboard to find my name, "Ricky". I just stared at him, letting him know my attention was on him. "Well, I don't know if you got to see your face yet or not, but those guys had no mercy. Nothing's broken though, thankfully. I'd like you to stay a day or two however, just to rest and gain back some of that strength.
My mother thanked the doctor before he walked out into the hall. I thought about what the doctor had said. About how they had no mercy on my face. I started getting curious as to what state my face was in. So I asked one of the guys for a mirror. As I held the mirror Kial had given to me, not sure where he got it from or why he was carrying a mirror in the first place, my heart skipped a beat. 'Those bastards fucked me up good' I thought to myself. One of my eyes were swollen and blue. I had a cut across my face which I could see needed stitching to close up. Basically, I wasn't looking all too hot.
"It aint so bad," Kial commented.
"You're right. It's worse" I said, as I giggled a bit with the little strength I had. At around 7 o'clock, everyone left to their homes for dinner. My mother and Nick said they'd be back later to keep me company, though. As I lay in the bed, watching some music video's on my own personal hospital television, I heard a soft knocking on the door.
"Come in" I said
Just then, Mark entered the room.. He didn't move past the door entrance though. Which was a pretty smart choice, considering how disappointed I am of him.
"..Hey" He said
"What do you want?" I asked
"I...um..came to see how your doing?" He answered
"So, let me get this straight. You care about how I'm doing after it's all over? 'Cause you sure as hell didn't care how I was doing when your fucking friends decided to go crazy on me" I said.
"Ricky, what did you expect me to do?," He sighed. "They'd beat the shit out of me too if I tried to stop them."
"You're a selfish asshole, you know that?" I said.
"I guess I deserved that" He said.
"Mark, you're never there when I need you. You say you love me, but you don't show it. They could have killed me today, do you realize that?" I asked.
"...Yeah I do" He replied, as his eyes got watery. "Listen, I'm sorry for not helping you. But what did you do to me, huh? I saw you kissing another guy. That's how this whole shit started. If you love me, why are you messing around with other guys? Wanna explain that one to me? 'Cause if you were serious about liking me, you wouldn't have kissed another guy, which means my friends wouldn't have seen you kissing a guy, which means you wouldn't be in a hospital bed right now."
I was mad, but I had also been caught. Mark was right. Part of this was my fault. Actually, it's all my fault. If I had just been honest in the first place, this wouldn't have happened. I looked around the room, then looked at myself sitting on the bed, and felt really stupid.
"You're right" I said.
"Rick, make up your mind ok? Either choose to be me or choose to be with this other guy. Don't play us both because then everyone tends to get hurt. I'm not sure how long this two-timing has been going on. You may have had 2 guys for awhile, but if your not careful, you may lose us both". After finishing his sentence, he walked out the door.
For the first time, I felt like the complete bad guy in all of this. How can I be mad at Mark, if I'm being just as much a jackass as he is. One again, I lay in the bed, reflecting on my life and the mistakes I've made. I know who I want to choose, but would it be the right choice? What if one guy can make me happier than the other? Am I just being selfish? I figured I was because someone in love wouldn't have these thoughts. But then again, I'm not even sure what love is.
I shut the light in the room and closed my eyes. I have a lot of decisions to make and a lot of shit to still deal with. I mean, how am I going to be treated in school now? I'm sure everyone knows about the kiss since rumours go around fast in school. Maybe I wish Mark and the principal would have just let me get killed.