Dream of a Guardian Angel

"Dream of a Guardian Angel" By: Phantom Writer

Legal Stuff: This material is meant to be read by those 18 and over and are NOT offended by literature with homosexual themes. If you are, step off! If not, read on. This is a work of fiction. Therefore, the author makes no claims as to the sexual orientation of any member of *N Sync. That said, please note that the main character in this story is a neighbor and new friend whose identity I assumed in writing this story and has permitted me to include some true personal information to provide depth to the story.

Side Note: This is my first time posting. For anyone who would like to send comments or suggestions, please do so (phantomwriter73@hotmail.com)

Now, on with the story!

I had just finished my second bottle of wine. Needless to say, I needed some fresh air. I went to the rooftop pool on my apartment building and leaned against the deck railing. The air was crisp but no too cold. With my eyes closed, I put away my troubles and drifted into my own little world.

Suddenly, I heard a loud shout from the street. I figured it was just some drunken SMU student who had forgotten where they had parked their vehicle. But then I heard yet another shout, this time followed by the sound of glass breaking. I turned around and looked over the edge of the building to see a young man attempting to pick up the remains of a broken liquor bottle. He then fell to his knees, raised his head back as if he were going to how at the moon and yelled, "Fuck them all! I can't take this shit right now either!"

I watched this outcry and felt my stomach tighten. My senses then returned to the reality of the situation. This young man, probably 18 or 19, had slumped forward and was now lying in the middle lane of a one way street. If someone drove down the street, they would not see my friend until it was too late. With this in mind, I yelled over the ledge of the building to get his attention. (Now, my senses may have returned to reality, but my brain must have been in a wine-induced lull. It was ludicrous to think this drunken youth gave a shit about some shouting fool on a rooftop.) With no response to my shout, I realized the guy was passed out cold. "Shit, shit, shit!" was all I could think.

I ran to the elevator, got in, and pushed the lobby button continuously until I realized the elevator had already started moving. As soon as the doors opened, I darted out of the entryway and ran to the side of the building. I spotted my friend and quickly made my way over to him. I knelt down by his side, and suddenly, at that moment, I saw a shadow appear. With a shock, I realized the shadow was of my body and the light was coming from behind me. I turned only to see a taxi speeding up the street. Without thinking, I grabbed my drunken friend and dashed toward the curb. No only did the taxi barely miss hitting me, but the stupid fuck didn't even slow down.

I sat the young man down not so gently, the wine having dulled my agility. With a thud, my friend opened his eyes and looked up at me. I knelt down beside him and quickly introduced myself so he wouldn't think I was some street bum out to mug him.

"Hey, my name's Jason. Are you O.K?" I quickly said.

"Umm...I don't know...who are you?" was the best my drunken friend could manage.

"My name's Jason. I live here in this building. I saw you passed out in the street and came to your rescue." I explained.

"My rescue?" he asked with confusion.

"You passed out in the street and I came and picked you up. And just in the nick of time, I might add. If I hadn't, you would have been a hood ornament on the taxi that just came hauling ass by here a moment ago. So, can you walk, or do I need to carry you?" I stated with a bit of a smart-ass attitude.

As I looked at this young man, I couldn't help but feel as if I had seen him before. I looked into his blue eyes and saw pain, anguish, and a bit of fear. I could also see tears welling up in his eyes as he began to speak.

"Why are you being so nice to me? What do you want?" he muttered out.

I was taken aback that someone would feel I wanted something just for helping them out. I sighed and looked away, not wanting to show my disappointment and sadness at his question.

"I don't want anything form you! Where I'm from, people help each other out without expecting anything in return!" I felt myself getting pissed, so I took a deep breath and continued. "I'm being nice to you because I'm nice to most everyone, unless they've given me reason not to. I'm sorry you feel that way. Maybe I should just call you a cab and let you be."

With that said, I stood up and turned toward the entrance of my apartment building. I could hear the shuffle of feet behind me and then a hand on my shoulder. I slowly turned around to see my friend with tears running down his face.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to insult you or hurt your feelings, it must be the alcohol or something." He started to sob.

"Hey, hey. It's O.K. I shouldn't have gone off on you like that. It just makes me sad to think that the world has turned everyone into a bunch of selfish assholes that think they should be rewarded for showing someone kindness. It's not your fault. I'm the one who should be apologizing." With that said, I noticed a marked change in the drunken youth. Yes, he had stopped crying, but his expression was not one of accepting my apology. It was one of...

My drunken friend puked down the front of my shirt, then turned and fell to his knees and wretched himself dry by the curb. I did nothing but kneel beside him and hold his head. After the dry heaves subsided, he turned to me and started to sob, realizing that he had covered my front in what was probably Vodka and orange juice. I pulled him up to a standing position and quickly scooped him up into my arms like a small child. He was no child, and I did a damn fine job not dropping him on his ass as I made my way inside the apartment building. I guess he had passed out again since he made no effort against my motherly handling.

I finally made it into my apartment with little ease. I took my passed out guest into the bathroom and gently placed him against the wall next to the toilet. He leaned his head over to the cool porcelain tank of the toilet and continued to sleep. I took this opportunity to strip out of my filthy clothes and jump into the shower. After a quick rinse, I stepped out with a towel around my waist only to notice my friend was awake. I knelt down to him and he looked into my eyes as the tears started to flow down his face.

"Who are you? How is it that I've just had the worst day of my life and, by some miracle, you come along and show me such kindness? You must be my guardian angel." He continued to sob. I didn't know what had happened to this young man to turn him into the emotional wreck that sat before me, but I couldn't stand to see him so sad and feeling so low. As I always have, I tried a little humor to lighten things up.

"Some guardian angel! I don't even know your name!" I half laughed out.

"What? Oh, I'm Justin...you don't know who I am?"

"All I know, Justin, is that you are my guest for the evening and you have had a bit too much to drink. Oh, and I also know someone who needs a shower because they look like SHIT!" I said giggling out loud.

Justin looked at himself and then stared at me with an expression of horror on his face. "I'm...I'm soooo sorry about throwing up on you. I don't know what to say. I...I..."

A single tear ran down his cheek. I wiped it away with my index finger and smiled at Justin, letting him know without saying a word that an apology was not necessary. I hooked my hands under his armpits, and raised him to a standing position.

"I'll get you a towel and go make some coffee, for both of us! You take a nice warm shower and I'll see you when you come out. By the way, put your clothes into the washer along with mine. It may take some doing, but I think I can get the filth out of them." With that said, I slid the cargo door shut to the bathroom in my loft-style apartment and proceeded to make some strong coffee. As I got the coffee going, I kept thinking that for some reason I had seen Justin before. I just couldn't place it. I left the coffee to finish brewing and slipped on a pair of sweat shorts and a T-shirt.

I began to worry since Justin had been in the shower for quite some time. So, I slid the door open a little and called his name, but got no response. I walked over to the shower and could hear sobbing. I pulled the curtain back slightly only to see Justin huddled in the floor of the shower with rapidly cooling water spraying his body. I quickly shut off the water and grabbed a towel. I pulled the curtain back and wrapped him in the towel the best I could. I decided that maybe a pair of shorts for Justin might make this situation a little less awkward. (Not awkward for me, since I thought he was gorgeous. His smooth skin, toned body, and angelic face made my mouth go dry. You could get lost in his eyes, not to mention that killer smile.) Once again, I got the feeling I knew him or had seen him before.

I shook myself from my daze and snatched up a pair of sweat shorts, though a size too big for Justin. I rubbed his body dry the best I could when I noticed the attention I had just given his body had slightly inflated his manhood. I tried not to notice or, heaven forbid, stare. I didn't want him thinking I was some kind of a pervert. He finally looked at me with eyes so pained I myself started to get teary eyed. I handed him the shorts and told him to put them on and I would be waiting in the living area. As I stood, Justin looked up to me and once again asked, "Who are you?"

I replied, "I'm Jason...I'm a friend...I'm just here to help." I turned around and closed the door behind me as I went to pour Justin a strong cup of coffee.

Justin emerged from the bathroom and ambled over to where I was standing. I offered him a cup of coffee as well as some Dramamine. He looked at me in confusion.

"The Dramamine will help you sleep and keep the room from spinning on you. It's the best thing to take to ward off a killer hangover." I offered.

He took the two pills and sipped his coffee. I pointed him toward one of my couches and sat across from him on the other. I took the Dramamine out of my pocket and popped two pills down as well. Justin just looked at me with a quizzical look.

"Before this little episode of ours, I had just finished off two bottles of wine. Needless to say, I'm not as trashed as you, but I feel no pain." I noticed he looked at me as though I had three eyes or something. "What? Do I have something hanging out of my nose?"

Justin realized he had been staring and finally spoke. "I just can't figure out why you're being so nice to me? I remember something about not expecting anything from others, but I just can't get past your sincerity. I hope I haven't inconvenienced you. I can leave as soon as my clothes are dry."

"You'll do no such thing. I wasn't doing anything but sitting here, alone, drinking myself into a state where I didn't have to feel anything, good or bad." I turned my head away from him so he wouldn't see the tears in my eyes. "So, why did you feel the need to get trashed and pass out in the streets of downtown Dallas?"

"Let's just say I've had the worst day of my life. And if you don't mind, I'd rather not talk about it." Justin's voice had no anger in it towards me, but I could hear the anguish and fear.

"Justin, I wasn't trying to pry. If you need someone to talk to, I don't mind. It's not like there's anyone else to talk to me these days." I couldn't hold the tears this time. I just looked to the floor and sipped my coffee. After a minute or two, I realized Justin had gotten up to put his coffee cup in the kitchen sink, but when he returned, he sat down beside me.

"I think maybe YOU need someone to talk to. Then I'll tell you about my troubles."

I couldn't believe how the situation had turned on me. Justin was the one who had been a total wreck, passed out in the street and puking his guts out. How was it that I was now the person in need of a guardian angel?

I proceeded to tell him how I had grown up in a very close and loving family. I blabbed on about my childhood. I also shared with Justin how difficult it was for me during college when the one woman I thought I loved questioned if I really did love her, or if my 'love' was just a cover up. I realized I was about to reveal something I had only revealed to a very select group of people, and all had dismissed me from their lives. I took a deep breath.

"The woman I thought I loved had always known some how that I was...that I...that I'm gay!" I closed my eyes not wanting to see Justin's disgust or hatred. It was at that moment that I felt him pull me into a hug and hold me tight. I couldn't hold back the tears. I cried like a child. All the bottled up emotion from my coming out to my family and everything else had never been expressed. I had practically been in shock since that fateful day two weeks prior. As I sobbed, I heard someone humming. It was Justin. Then he began to sing.

'You'll never know what you've done for me. What your faith in me, has done for my soul. You'll never know the gift you've given me, I'll carry it with me...yeah...yeah...'

He continued to sing until the verse that Gloria Estefan would normally sing. That is when I looked into his eyes, put my fingers to his lips and began to sing her part. While I'm no pop star, I have sung my entire life and have played the piano since I was 4 years old. So I'm no stranger to music. However, it had taken me until then, when Justin started singing, to realize he was Justin Timberlake from *N Sync.

After we finished the song, I just stared at him. Justin smiled a killer smile and said, "I guess you recognize me now?"

I stared into his eyes for what seemed like hours. I could feel him peering into my soul with his gaze. All I could do was start to sob again. I couldn't explain to him the significance of sharing music with him. He didn't know how much it reminded me of all the times my family would sing for hours on end into the early morning hours for no reason at all. I finally calmed down enough to speak and again looked into Justin's eyes.

"So I guess you don't hate me for being gay? I can understand how you might not want to be around me since you're a celebrity and all. Imagine the tabloids! Oh SHIT! I hope no one recognized you when I carried you into the building! What are you going to do if the media finds out I'm gay and think you and I are in a relationship or something?" I was totally panicking, a rare event for me, I assure you.

"Jason, snap out of it! I don't see how anyone could have known it was me you were carrying!" Justin shook me a little and finally I looked into his eyes. He was right, of course. I was just having a high drama moment. I stood up quickly, moving away from Justin and stared out of the window.

"I'm sorry. I can't believe I just had an emotional outburst like that, let alone had the nerve to sing with YOU! I feel like such an ASS." I lowered my head. I couldn't look a Justin. He simply walked up to me, turned me around, and smiled his charming smile. I refused to look him in the face

"Please, look at me. I'm the one who should be embarrassed. I threw up on you, and obviously had to be carried up here like a sack of potatoes, not to mention the little shower scene." He blushed recounting the moment. "Besides, you sound damn good! I nearly fell in the floor when you started singing. You have a beautiful, natural voice. Who knows, maybe you should be in the music business!"

With that, I said, "Stop blowing smoke up my ass. I can't take that shit right now." I laughed slightly to let him know I was joking.

Justin fell back from me, his face pale. Tears began to fall. I reached out for him, but he pulled away from me and stumbled back onto the couch. I quickly moved toward him before he could pull away again and hugged him tightly. "I'm sorry, I was only joking. It was getting too serious in here. Please stop crying." With my own tears falling, I spoke in a whisper. My voice had lost all strength with the thought of having hurt Justin.

"Jason, you're not to blame. It's just the words you chose to say reminded me of my own set of problems." Justin began to cry, but soon clamed down when he noticed I was slowly rocking him gently back and forth. I began to sing my favorite hymn, a song my grandmother had taught me to play on the piano many years ago.

'Why should I feel discouraged? Why should the shadows come? Why should my heart feel lonely, and long for heaven and home...'

I continued to sing the hymn until I finished. I then noticed that Justin was completely relaxed and calm. I laid us both down on a couch and asked him to tell me what had made him go on his little drinking spree. Justin sighed and began to tell me how he had held a meeting with the other guys of *N Sync in the afternoon to tell them something he couldn't keep from them any more. He then looked at me with the saddest eyes imaginable.

"Jason, I told them I was...gay. And all I heard was 'I can't take this kind of shit right now!' I told them the hardest thing I have ever had to say and they didn't even do anything! They simply dismissed me! What am I supposed to do NOW!" Justin had gone into hysterics. He was trembling so violently, I feared he was having a seizure. He sobbed uncontrollably for what seemed like an eternity. I simply held him and stroked his curly hair.

Finally, he cried himself to sleep. I picked him up and carried him back to my bed. I tucked him in and turned out the lights.

I decided to check on our clothes in the washer. They were as clean as possible, luckily without any stench of vomit. I did notice a slight stain on Justin's cargoes, but I could do nothing more. After putting the clothes in the drier, I noticed a cell phone setting on the ledge of the bathroom mirror along with other personal items of Justin's. I worried that maybe JC, Chris, Joey, or Lance could be looking for him realizing the mistake they had made earlier. So, I picked up the phone and paged through the speed dial numbers until I came to one of Justin's supposed friends. I pushed send and waited for someone to pick up.

"Curly, where are you? I've been looking for you everywhere!" JC was frantic!

"JC, this isn't Justin. My name's Jason. I wanted...."

"Who? What the FUCK have you done with Justin?" JC cut me off screaming.

"Well, for starts, I saved his life this evening and have obviously been a damn sight better friend than you! That's what I've done. Now listen, Justin has no idea I'm calling you, because frankly, I think he would rather die than talk to any of you right now. But, I wanted y'all to know he's O.K."

"Uh...Jason, I'm sorry. Can you please let me talk to him, let US talk to him? We were just in shock and didn't know what to say when he told us his secret. Please, tell us where you are. Please!" JC begged and I could hear the regret in his voice for the things he had done. I gave JC directions to my apartment. Fifteen minutes later, my phone rang. It was the security system, so I turned on the security channel and noticed four good-looking guys standing there aimlessly. I buzzed them up and minutes later I heard a soft knock at my door.

I opened the door with my finger across my lips in the universal sign to be quite. All four walked past me and paused to see Justin in my bed sleeping, his face tear stained and puffy. I directed the guys into the living area and offered them something to drink. I got several requests and returned to the living area with two juices, a tea, and some water. Then I sat down on the floor with my back to the wall and stared at each of my somewhat guilty looking guests.

"O.K, who wants to start telling me why you have turned what was once Justin Timberlake of *N Sync into a passed-out drunk too distraught to ever want to face any of you again?" I couldn't help but sound pissed because, honestly, I was.

"Why should we tell you anything. It has nothing to do with YOU!" JC hissed out, though I could sense he was putting up some sort of front to hide the guilt any astute person could see in his eyes.

"Well, I beg to differ. I am as much a part of this as any of you. I may have only known Justin for a few hours, but he trusted me with his problems.

He told me the entire story about this afternoon's meeting and how you all just dismissed him after he told you one of the most difficult things any man can ever have to say...that they are GAY!" I was livid. Lance, Joey, and Chris stared at the floor. Only JC kept eye contact with me. I could see in him a torment of emotion, something he kept buried deep inside.

"So he told you he was gay, how does that make you the damn royal inquisitor! We've known him practically half his life! You just want something from us, like most every one else these days!" JC snapped at me like a cornered dog.

"Oh please! I had already brought him in from the street, cleaned him up, and had been visiting with him long before I even knew who he was. And as for y'all knowing him half his life, why do you think he is so upset that the people who have known him so long can't accept him for what and who he is? He was so shocked that I was being so kind, and I was a total stranger!

What's fucked up with that picture? If you love him like you claim, then what does the fact that he is gay have to do with anything? Is he not the same person you have practically seen grow up into a young man? Do you have any idea what it does to someone to have their most trusted friends and loved ones dismiss them just because you aren't what they thought you were? DO YOU? NO, you could never understand what it would be like. But I do. I lost my entire family and everybody important in my life because..I'M GAY" I was sobbing at this point. I sat in a barstool and looked out the window into the night. What seemed like hours passed, though only a few moments passed in actuality. I was startled to feel someone's hand on my shoulder. I slowly turned to see four tear-stained faces looking at me. Lance's hand was on my shoulder. The four of them stood there, with their arms held out wide. I don't know why, but I stood and was enveloped in a group hug. For the second time this evening, I felt as though someone loved me for who I am. As Lance, Chris, and JC were still crying, Joey sniffled and cleared his throat to speak.

"Jason, dude, I can't fix what has happened with you and your family, but let me say this. I love you for what you've done for Justin. And thanks to you, I have the chance to tell Justin I love him for who and what he is. I was simply in shock when he told us. With all the publicity about the lawsuit and changing labels, I have, we all have been so tense, we weren't thinking. I just want the chance to say I'm sorry and that I will always be by his side, no matter what." JC, Lance and Chris all agreed with as much sincerity as Joey had just shown.

To every ones surprise, a tear faced Justin walked into the living area and proceeded to hug, one by one, Chris, Lance, Joey, and finally, after some hesitation, JC. I thought the hesitation in Justin was odd at first. I just stood there with the happiest smile I could muster until the realization of what I had just witnessed would never be possible for me. I simply turned back to stare out of the window. The guys were still sobbing and making up when Justin noticed I was sitting on the barstool, looking into the darkness outside.

"Hey Jason, aren't you glad I have such awesome friends that can admit when they are wrong and still find it in their hearts to love me!" After Justin had said these words, he realized how arrogant and boastful he sounded. He gasped when he saw me trembling, then put his hand on my arm and spun me around on the barstool to face everyone. Then, and only then, could they see the true anguish and sorrow in my eyes. I couldn't even cry anymore. I simply stared at the floor with a stone-like expression, trembling uncontrollably.

"I'm glad you got the chance to reconcile your differences Justin. And please, call me Jase - all my friends do, or used to...at least you had the chance to make up before it was too...late!" I stood only to feel my knees go weak. I knelt on the floor, the tears having returned. I looked up to see five shocked faces, none of them knew what to do. I realized I owed it to myself, and to the other guys, to tell the whole story about my coming out. As painful as it would be, I felt I had to tell the truth to them if I wanted to maintain a true friendship. I slowly began to tell them the entire story, not just the abbreviated version I had told them earlier.

"Justin, I couldn't tell you earlier what I'm about to say. I didn't want my troubles to overshadow yours, so I only told you the part about coming out to my family and friends. What I didn't tell you was...I can't do this.

I can't take the pain anymore. Please...someone help me!" I fell to the floor sobbing uncontrollably. Justin quickly sat down and placed my head in his lap. He gently stoked my hair and whispered in my ear.

"I'm here Jase, let me help. Let us all help you. Please!" Justin started to whimper like a lost puppy.

After some time, I gathered the strength to tell all of them my tragedy. I sat up from Justin's lap and moved to sit on the floor with the couch supporting my back. Again, my face had no emotion as I started my story again. But this time, Justin sat in front of me, holding my hand. Even the other guys were showing their support. Joey sat to my left with his arm draped over my shoulder. JC sat to my right, holding my other hand. Lance sat beside Justin with a hand draped over my knees, which I had drawn to my chest. And Chris lay on the couch behind me, rubbing my neck slowly and gently.

"After I told my family, they did in fact dismiss me and I caught an early flight back to Dallas. What I didn't tell you was what happened the next day. My parents told the rest of my family and all my friends about me being gay. Evidently too embarrassed to stay in town, they went back to my brother and sister-in-law's place outside of San Antonio. Evidently, they were all going into San Antonio to eat dinner when...when...an 18 wheeler lost control and...and...ran head on into my parent's suburban. My mother, father, brother, sister-in-law, and two nieces were killed instantly. I will never know if they could have learned to accept me for who I am. I never got a chance to show them that I was the same son, brother, uncle that I was before I told them I was gay. My extended family even refused to let me go to the funeral and say goodbye..."

I had cried myself out, but every one of the guys cried, holding me tightly.

It seemed as though we had gone from being a formal acquaintance to being a family in just minutes. I don't know how long we all sat there in that tight embrace, but I truly felt loved. I felt that someone did care that I was hurting so badly and needed to be loved.

Several minutes later, I suddenly felt the urge to laugh. I couldn't help it. I had just had the most ridiculous thought. I started laughing and couldn't stop. Everyone let go of me instantly, each with a look of horror.

I remember Chris saying something about I must be having a nervous breakdown, but before they all went ape shit, I got it together enough to share the cause of my laughter.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you. I just had this unbelievably ridiculous thought and it got the best of me. I'm sorry." All five guys just stared at me. I then realized they were waiting for me to tell them what was so damn funny. "It just hit me funny while I sat on the floor with five of the most popular, talented, SEXY music stars in the world. Each one holding me and showing their love for me. There are probably millions of teenage girls who would sell their soul to have been in my place for just one second!" I continued to laugh. Slowly but surely, each one pictured what I was saying in their minds and began to laugh.

After the fit of laughter subsided, I stood up and looked at the clock. It was 1:30AM and I was so out of it with the wine and the Dramamine, not to mention the emotional roller coaster I had been on. So, I went to the bathroom and took Justin's clothes out of the drier. It then occurred to me that Justin would probably leave now and I would never see him except through the media. I let out a long sigh. I didn't know that JC was standing at the door to the bathroom. He slowly entered and quietly asked me what was wrong.

"I don't know. I just feel like I'm losing all of you just when you came into my life. Justin said I was his guardian angel for saving his life earlier, but I think all five of you are my guardian angels. You can never know..." A single tear ran down my cheek. JC simply hugged me and then smiled sheepishly, looking down at the floor. I stood back and asked what the look was for.

"Well, I really need to piss." JC looked up at me.

"Damn, and here I though you were showing me that caring side of yourself." My smart-ass remark made a look of shock cross his face, but then I winked, and JC got the joke. I left him to his business and returned to the living area with Justin's clothes.

"Hey Justin, I think I salvaged your shirt, socks and boxers, but the cargoes have asphalt on them and I didn't have any gasoline to get it off. I hope that's O.K?" I pulled my best pout and batted my eyes like a child. He just smiled, then took the clothes from me and headed toward the bathroom.

I don't know what transpired between JC and Justin, but both of them came back into the living area with shit-eating grins on their faces and Justin still wore my sweat shorts. I had a sneaky suspicion that those two were up to something, but my need for water outweighed my curiosity. Between all the wine and the crying, I felt like I was about to dry up and blow away. I poured a large glass of water, drank it, and turned around to see all five of the guys looking at me with mischievous grins. I narrowed my eyes and spoke in my most authoritative voice.

"I haven't known y'all for more than a few hours, but I can read each one of you like a book. What, pray tell, are you plotting. And don't give me any bullshit answers. I have my ways of telling if you're speaking the truth!" I did my best to keep a straight face.

Justin put on his best child-like face and spoke like a five-year old boy. "We were just wondering if we could all spend the night here with you. Like a big sleep over!" Justin couldn't keep a straight face any longer, nor could any of the other guys. I however, kept up the authoritative act and paused before I spoke.

"Well let me see...I have one individual, who shall remain nameless, who goes out and gets drunk -- and I know he's not 21. Then I have four other individuals who pull the 'Let's be a real asshole and fuck over our friend' routine. I don't know...then again, I know there are at least two gay men here, so we could just have an 'orgy thang' up in here. That might be sort of fun." I couldn't help but fall out laughing at the shocked faces staring at me. "I'm joking, damn if I only had my camera. Your faces were priceless!" Finally, they all caught the joke and laughed as well. "Of course you can stay, but I must tell you, I only have room for four people on those couches. So, I can sleep on the floor and some lucky person can have my bed to themselves."

"Bull shit! I'll be damned if you are going to sleep on the floor after all you've done for us. If it weren't for you, *N Sync could have been history!" Justin almost seemed angry as he said this. "After the whole shower 'thang' and all, I don't think it will kill me to sleep in the same bed as you."

"Shower 'thang'? What's up with that?" JC seemed pissed for some reason.

"Get your mind out of the gutter!" I quickly stated. I thought back to when the other guys had arrived at my apartment. I had seen something in JC's eyes when he looked at Justin sleeping that made me wonder. I finally put the pieces together. I realized that JC was in love with Justin. He was actually jealous that I would be sleeping in the same bed with Justin, even if we were only sleeping.

I readied all the couches and said my good nights. As I went back to my bedroom, I noticed Justin had already fallen asleep. I realized it had been a big day for him as well.

Just when I was about to fall asleep, Justin sat up in bed and yelled, "No, don't leave me!" I sat up and hugged him, not knowing what had caused his outburst, though I had an idea. Seconds later, JC ran into the room. He saw Justin crying and me hugging him. I could see the pain in his eyes. He started to leave when I called to him.

"JC, you can come over here too. There's room for the three of us." I spoke softly, feeling a bit awkward at the situation.

JC waited for a moment, deep in thought, then turned around. His love for Justin was just too strong. JC timidly climbed into my bed on the opposite side of Justin. Justin immediately turned to JC and hugged him with all his might. We all laid back into my bed and both JC and I cuddled against Justin. He never did tell us what his nightmare was about, but JC and I both knew. After several minutes, Justin was back asleep, but I could still tell that JC was awake. I spoke softly.

"JC? You awake?"

"Sort of. What's up?" JC said sleepily. I had a sense he was playing the sleepy bit so I wouldn't talk too long to him. So I decided to cut to the chase.

"How long have you been in love with Justin?" I couldn't hear JC breathe for what seemed like minutes. Then I heard the recognizable sound of muffled sobs. I got up from my side of the bed, turned on a lamp, and walked around to where JC was lying. I sat beside him and pulled him into a hug. JC buried his face into my chest and cried almost silently for several minutes. Finally, he lifted his head and looked into my eyes. JC realized that I had known he loved Justin from almost the time we had first met just by the look in my eyes.

"Jase, how did you know? I tried so hard to hide my feelings but you saw right through me. How?"

"JC, I hid my feelings for years and even tried to pretend I was straight, but the woman I thought I loved saw through me too. I just don't understand why you came down so hard on Justin when he told you he was gay. I thought you would have been relieved?" I couldn't have known it, but Justin had been awake since I had gotten up to come talk to JC. Justin just continued to listen, not letting JC or me know he was awake. Nor did we know that the other three guys had also been standing at the curtain dividing the bedroom from the living area. JC then began to speak.

"I knew I loved him from the first time we met back on the Mickey Mouse Club. But he was so young and I was so afraid. I had just realized that I was gay, but I couldn't take the chance of anyone finding out. So, ever since then, I buried my feelings and tried to let our close friendship be enough. I never imagined that Justin was gay. Maybe I was so worried about anyone finding out the truth about me that I just didn't see the signs. But today, when he told us, I nearly fainted. I was the one who said that I couldn't deal with this shit. I never imagined it would come out loud. But it did, and before I knew what had happened, Justin had run out. I thought I was going to die! I finally found out he could have feelings for me and I pushed him away!" JC sobbed quietly. Suddenly, a voice appeared.

"You big goon!"

Both JC and I were startled and quickly turned around to see Justin's tear stained face covered with a huge smile. I looked at Justin and then JC and could see the silent communication between them in their eyes. I decided I might need to let them have a moment alone to express their feelings. So, I got up and walked over to the curtain to enter the living area. It was then that I heard the quick shuffle of feet and then a loud thud. By now, JC and Justin had heard the same and joined me in the hallway. What we saw was truly an amusing sight. Lance had tripped over his own feet in front of Joey and Chris, but since Lance was in front, Joey and Chris ended up falling over Lance into a huge pile. I quickly turned on the lights.

"You know guys, I never thought you would take my 'orgy thang' comment literally?" JC, Justin and I stated to giggle as Lance, Chris and Joey untangled themselves and got up. All three looked sheepishly at the rest of us and smiled slightly. I turned to JC and Justin.

"I think you need to talk to these guys. I have a feeling they may have a question or two." I grinned and turned back toward my bed. Before I went behind the curtain, I could hear them all say 'Thank you!'

I didn't know how long the guys of *N Sync stayed up and talked, but I know I never remember anyone coming back to bed with me.........

I opened my eyes and looked at the clock around 9:30AM only to realize I must have been pretty out of it since indeed someone was in bed with me. I could feel the warmth of a body spooning me. I could also feel an incredibly large cock pressing against my ass. And if I hadn't known any better, I could have sworn that it occasionally would grind into me. I let a little moan of pleasure escape my lips when suddenly I had a thought. If JC and Justin had just confessed their love for each other, who in the hell was doing the sleeping version of 'Dirty Dancing' with me.

I slowly turned my head and then gasped. You could not imagine the surprise and shock I felt to see Lance smiling back at me. I rolled over and he simply hugged me full to his body. I stared into his eyes and let out a little chuckle.

"So, I guess your meeting last night with the other guys was, should I say, rather interesting!" I couldn't help but feel shocked at the situation. I had always imagined Lance as the totally board straight Southern Baptist shy guy of *N Sync. But here he was, more than simply telling me he was gay, since the lump pressed against my crotch spoke volumes. Lance lightly kissed me on the lips.

"Let's just say that we all learned a lot about each other last night. Who would have thought that the guys of *N Sync were nothing but a bunch of very talented, good looking closet cases." Lance grinned like a possum eating shit.

I was taken aback. Had he just told me that everyone in *N Sync was gay? I couldn't believe what I was hearing. That would have been too much. I guess our voices had brought the other guys out of their slumber. Before I knew what had happened I was under a huge dog pile. Suddenly the scene went from an innocent dog pile into a mass of raging hard-ons and hands groping every part of my body. Then I opened my eyes to see a photographer taking photos of the scene. And then I was in my parents home and my family was looking at photos of me in a huge orgy published in some tabloid. Then I was somewhere dark, my eyes could not focus on anything around me, and then I heard the sound of metal twisting and the screams of my family. Suddenly, there was silence. I yelled.

"NOOOOOOOOOO!"

"Wake up, wake up! You're having a bad dream!" Justin lightly shook my body with a concerned JC sitting on the other side of me. I started to tremble as the tears freely flowed down my face. Soon I was overtaken with uncontrollable sobs. I don't remember anything after that.

I woke up with JC spooning me from behind with his arm over my waist and resting on Justin's hip. Justin had his face buried in my chest and his legs locked between mine as if we were melting together. I sighed, feeling so content and happy. A tear of joy rolled down my cheek. When it landed on Justin's forehead, his eyes opened and sleepily gazed at me. I smiled knowing he was there to comfort me. I felt JC stir behind me and grind his crotch up against my ass. I felt a little awkward since JC obviously thought he was rubbing up on Justin. I decided to break the awkward moment with a smart-ass comment.

"JC, babe. I think Justin here might get a little jealous if he knew you were trying to split me in half with that hard donkey dick of yours grinding into my ass." Justin just snickered but JC jerked his arm away from Justin and me and quickly rolled over. I turned over and spooned JC from behind, grinding my own stiffening dick into his butt. JC turned his head back toward Justin and me.

"Sorry, I don't know what came over me. It just felt so nice and warm. I just..."

"You don't have to apologize. It doesn't mean we have to get married or anything! Besides, your young boyfriend here seems to have the same opinion of my ass as you do." With that, JC looked over to see a grinning Justin spooning me from behind. We all three laughed. Suddenly, three more bodies piled on top of us. I then realized that Joey, Lance, and Chris had dog piled us. But my smile quickly disappeared. Justin noticed and asked what was wrong.

"I think we all need to get up. Why don't y'all wait for me in the living area." They all looked confused, but did as I asked. No sooner had the curtain that divides the bedroom and the living area closed behind the guys than there was a knock at my door. I opened it and was blinded by the flash of a photographer's camera. I instinctively reached out and grabbed the photographer by the shirt collar.

"What the FUCK do you think you're doing! This is a private building. Do you have permission to be in here?" I was beyond pissed.

"N...No! I bribed the cleaning person to let me in. I asked him if he knew where this person lived and he told me!" The photographer showed me a picture of me carrying Justin out of the street last night. It was obvious he was the customer in the taxi that had nearly hit me. Luckily, you could not tell who Justin was in the photo.

"May I ask you what the hell you took my picture for? What are you doing, stalking me!" I was livid and the photographer quickly got nervous and started rambling on, trying to find the words to explain.

"No, I'm not stalking you. This morning, I decided to do a story about you saving the person from being hit by my taxi last night. I thought if I took a picture of you as you opened the door, it would be a good picture to catch you off guard and in your natural setting." The photographer continued to ramble on but I cut him off.

"Listen here you PRICK. If I ever see you around here again, I will sue you and your publishing company for invading my privacy. I'll also have a restraining order slapped on your ass so quick, you won't know what hit you.

You got that! Have I made my self clear!" I stared at the frightened man and quickly let go of his shirt collar with a shove.

"Crystal! I'm sorry to have disturbed you." The man turned to walk off, but I grabbed him.

"I want that picture and the negatives of the photo from last night and the one you just took. NOW!" I knew I would need to have proof of this encounter in the event I actually had to fulfill my threat.

"Here, they are in my camera and also here in my camera bag. Take them. Like I said, I'm sorry for the intrusion." With the photo and negatives in my hand, the photographer quickly made his way to the elevator and left. I quickly closed and locked the door and ran into the living area. The guys just looked at me with shock. I quickly turned on the security channel to ensure our unwanted guest did in fact leave the building. Only after I saw him leave, did I turn to look everyone in the face.

"What! Did I grow a third eye or something?" I knew what they wanted to know but I didn't want to recall my dream from last night. But, the silence in the room made their question quite plain and simple 'How did you know we should leave your bedroom?'

"Last night, I had a dream that had several powerful images in it. I usually can tell when I'm having de ja'vu' and when Lance, Chris and Joey jumped on us in bed, I realized that something bad would happen if y'all didn't leave my bed immediately. So, as I suspected, something would have gone terribly wrong had I not sent y'all out of there right then." Justin gasped as I finished my statement.

"You really are a guardian angel! Guys, I can't believe it! I really think Jase was heaven sent to keep us together and out of trouble!" Justin was near tears as he made this revelation. I, on the other hand, had no idea what Justin was spouting on about. I was no angel, guardian or otherwise. I just happened to be in the right place at the right time.

"Hey, didn't you mention something about saving Justin's life last night?" JC was remembering our conversation from the previous night. I saw the shock in everyone's face as I answered.

"As I said last night, if I hadn't seen Justin pass out in the street last night, a taxi would have killed him. Luckily, I was on the roof and had heard Justin shouting down below before he passed out. Here, this is the photo that prick at the door took last night when I carried Justin to safety." I handed the photo I had taken from the photographer to Justin. He passed the photo to the other guys and slowly stood and walked over to me. Justin gently stroked my cheek with the back of his hand and stared intently into my eyes. Justin closed his eyes and gently kissed me on the mouth. Then he hugged me and whispered 'Thank you!' in my ear. JC, too, came up to me after Justin had turned around to sit down. Again, lips met mine, but as JC pulled away, he began to cry. I reached out and turned him to face me. I hugged him full to my body, closed my eyes and slowly swayed back and forth. I heard Justin ask me to sing the same song to JC that I had sung to him the night before, so I did.

'Why should I feel discouraged? Why should the shadows come? Why should my heart feel lonely, and long for heaven and home. When Jesus is my portion, a constant friend is He, For His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me. For His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me. I sing because I'm happy, and I sing because I'm free. For His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me.'

As I finished the song, I could hear the others sniffling and clearing their throats. I opened my eyes to see everyone with tears streaming down their faces. JC had stopped crying. He pulled away from me, kissed me gently on the lips and returned to Justin's side. I just sat on the floor, not knowing what else to say. Lance finally spoke, I think for the first time since he arrived.

"I have to go with Justin on this, you are a guardian angel. If it weren't for you, we would have lost Justin, JC and Justin would not have realized their love for one another, and I would never have had the courage to tell you all that I'm gay too." Silence filled the room. I moved over to Lance and pulled his head up and looked into his eyes. Tears had started to fall again. I could see an enormous amount of pain and anguish, but also a spark of relief and happiness. Slowly, but surely, his band mates pulled him into a hug and thanked him for being honest with them and to himself. I again sat on the floor and smiled with tears of joy running down my face. Joey saw me and was concerned.

"Hey, Jase. What's wrong?" Joey couldn't have known how happy I was. If nothing else, to know that not every coming out would be a disaster like mine had been made me more happy than I had felt in years.

"I'm fine, you big softy. I'm just happy Lance, Justin and JC have such great friends. You know, they will be great friends and will be there for you and Chris when you both decide to come out as well." Silence again filled the room as Joey and Chris looked at each other, then to JC, Lance, and Justin. Finally, Joey and Chris both looked back at me as I grinned.

"How'd you know?" Both Chris and Joey spoke in unison.

"One of those images from my dream last night, nothing more." Soon, all five guys were consumed by a group hug. "Y'all don't know how much your love and friendship for one another has touched me. I was beginning to believe that I would never know happiness again until Curly over there went on his drunken spree and came into my life." I hadn't noticed Justin's reaction to me calling him Curly, but before I knew what had happened, I was tackled and was being tickled to death.

"Curly! Curly! Who said you could call me that! Just because you saw me in the shower naked last night and woke up with me in your arms doesn't give you the right to call me Curly!" We laughed and rolled around on the floor for minutes until I finally sat up and looked at the others. They all had mischievous grins on their faces.

"O.K. So I saw Curly, oh, I mean Justin here naked. And, he did wake up in my arms, more than just a little excited to see me, I might add. That doesn't mean a damn thing. So get your minds out of the gutter. Besides, I didn't hear anyone complaining at the time." I had directed my first comment to JC, Joey, Chris and Lance. But I know Justin didn't catch the fact that I had directed my last statement at him until the rest of the guys fell out laughing. As I had done more than once the night before, I pulled Justin up into a standing position and hugged him tightly. We were soon engulfed by a huge group hug. Justin finally pulled out of the hug and sat on the couch with a very stern look on his face. The rest of us parted and sat back down. We all noticed Justin deep in thought.

"You know, in the last 12 hours, I have witnessed one great miracle. Jase saved me from being killed by that taxi and then kept *N Sync together. JC confessed his love for me. Not to mention Jase kept the media from trashing our name with some scandal. AND, Lance, Chris and Joey told us they were also gay." Justin paused and my smart-ass attitude returned.

"I guess math wasn't your strongest subject, because I counted five of your miracles, not just one!" I chuckled as I said this.

"That one miracle is you." Justin said as a tear slid down his cheek. "If it weren't for you, my guardian angel, our guardian angel, none of this would have happened and my life would be over."

"Our lives would have been forever changed too!" Chris spoke up. "*N Sync could never have continued without you Curly. We could never have forgiven ourselves for hurting you the way we did. And then for you to have been killed because of or stupidity, it would have been too much." Tears gathered in Chris's eyes, but he held them back.

"And just let me say this. If I hadn't seen Justin last night, I would have never come to terms with being gay and the tragedy of my family's death. If I hadn't met you five guys, I probably would have never felt happiness or joy again. In my book, you five are my guardian angels." I allowed my tears to slowly fall down my cheeks. I had never felt as content and happy in a very long time. I couldn't imagine my life without JC, Justin, Lance, Chris and Joey.

That afternoon, the guys left my apartment and returned to their hotel. Later, I stopped by to say 'thanks' and wish them success, since they were scheduled to fly to Orlando that evening. To my surprise, when I arrived, I was greeted by a representative of Jive Records and was offered a recording contract with special guest artists by the name of *N Sync scheduled to perform on my first release. I was in shock. I knew Jive wouldn't sign me without having heard me sing. That's when I heard myself singing. I turned around to see Lance smiling as he held a mini-cassette recorder up playing the song I had sung to JC this morning. I just shook my head, grabbed a pen, signed my name...and then I woke up.

The End

Like the title says, "Dream of a Guardian Angel."