"Dream of a Guardian Angel: After the Dream" By: Phantom Writer
Legal Stuff: This material is not meant to be read by anyone under 18. If you're offended by literature with homosexual themes, step off! If not, read on. This is a work of FICTION. Therefore, the author makes no claims as to the sexual orientation of any member of *N Sync.
Side Note: Please read the previous installments of "Dream of a Guardian Angel" before continuing any further - it will make much more sense. As always, for anyone who would like to send comments or suggestions, please do so. (phantomwriter73@hotmail.com)
Special Thanks: Thanks to all my readers and to the Archive for posting my story.
Now, without further ado...
(Previously...from "Dream of a Guardian Angel: Revenge.")
"So..." Lance's voice faded.
"So where does that leave us? I predict very, VERY close friends. But who knows. I might just chuck the normal life and start over with something a little more INTERESTING." I grabbed Lance's hand, pulled him from the car, and we both walked into the house.
And now, "New Emotions."
As we walked in, Justin, JC, Chris and Joey stood there waiting for us. Lance and I were immediately pulled into a group hug. I decided to lighten the mood and get a good laugh out of the guys to let them know I was, or was going to be, OK.
"Damn it, Joey! Get you're hand off my ass. I told you last night I wasn't ready for your kinky shit!" I fell out laughing, as did everyone but Joey.
"Huh? In your dreams!" Joey grinned once he got the joke.
"No, babe. Even I'm not THAT horny!" I broke from the group hug and ran for the den. Joey tackled me and we both fell on the couch as he began to tickle me relentlessly.
"You give? Or do I have to keep tickling you?" Joey continued his torment.
"No, I...don't...GIVE...on the...first...date!" I could hardly speak from laughing so hard.
"NOW you're gonna get it!" Joey pulled me off the couch and onto the floor.
He found my weak spot and started tickling behind my knees.
"HHHHHeeeeelllllppppp! I'm...being...attacked...by...Chester...the...Molester!" I was laughing so hard I thought I would piss myself. That's when Lance came to my rescue.
Lance jumped on Joey, who then rolled off of me. This prompted Chris to jump on Lance, who was then double-teamed by Joey and Chris. I rolled over and jumped on Chris. The next thing I knew, Justin and JC joined and all six of us were thrashing around in a huge dog-pile. Before long, we all tired and stopped to regain control of our faculties.
"Y'all are too twisted for words! My employees would drop their jaws if they saw me like this." I laughed and got up to get a drink.
"YOUR employees?" Justin asked in confusion.
"Well, they're not MINE. They just work for me. You know what? I'm beginning to wonder if you ever listen to me, Justin. I mentioned I was a manager yesterday, did I not? ANYWHO (rolling my eyes at Justin), I'm just a normal corporate executive with a normal 8 to 5."
"YOU, NORMAL. What have you been drinking?" Justin started chuckling.
"Wouldn't YOU like to know. Speaking of drinking, does anyone want something from the kitchen? I'm parched." I asked everyone, minding my manners like a good boy.
"Water!"
"Water!"
"Water!"
"Water!"
"Vodka!"
"Vodka! What do you know about VODKA Mr. Underage Timberlake?" I looked at Justin with a slight grin.
"OH BOY, could we tell you a thing or two about Justin and Vodka." JC started laughing as I told him to hold that thought and went to the kitchen to get six bottles of water.
While in the kitchen, I remembered there was a liquor cabinet in the dining room. I quickly went over and opened it and found what I was looking for. I took a bottle of Vodka, went back into the kitchen and opened a seventh bottle of water. I drank about half the water and filled the bottle back up with Vodka. I walked toward the den and hid two bottles of water by the stairs. Now I was set. I walked in and handed out water to everyone but Justin. I pretended not to notice I had missed him and 'pretended' to open the last bottle of water I had.
"Hey, you forgot me!" Justin looked hurt.
"Oh, I'm sorry. I must have lost count. I'll be back in a minute. Here, take mine. I haven't even taken a drink yet." I did my best to act calm. I made a quick exit only to hear Justin coughing and sputtering in the den. BINGO!
"Your ass is MINE, Jase. You best be lookin' for a GOOD place to hide 'cause CAPTAIN WHOOP-ASS is comin' for you." Justin was fuming.
I had stopped at the stairs and picked up the two bottles of water I had left moments ago. I wiped the smile off my face and returned to the den with a serious look on my face.
"What the hell are you on about? Something wrong with your water?" I never cracked a smile.
"HELL Yah! It's like 100 proof!" Justin looked as if he were about to charge after me.
"Is...that...right!" I sat down by Lance, but never cracked a smile. Justin walked over to me.
"You think I'm kiddin'? Here, YOU drink it!" Justin handed me the bottle.
"Fine, you big wuss!" I took the bottle of 'water' and chugged it down.
"What?" Justin stood in front of me flabbergasted.
"There's nothing wrong with this water! You must have Vodka on the brain!" I did my best not to show the need to EXHALE!
Justin shrugged his shoulders, took the extra bottle of water I had, and turned to walk away. Only then did I exhale and get a deep breath to recover from the power of the Vodka. Everyone but Justin saw me and fell out laughing hysterically. Justin turned and looked at me with an evil grin.
"You know this means WAR!" Justin was serious.
"Yah, baby. And I just won the first battle!" I couldn't help but laugh. Justin sat by JC and pouted for about half a second before he started laughing too.
"It's good to see you jokin' around!" Lance stated as he slapped my knee.
"What? And after you chew my ass for jokin' around so much? Jeez!" I was trying my best to act hurt. I guess it worked.
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have been so judgmental. Do you forgive me?" Lance pulled his sad puppy-dog face out for display.
"Judgmental? No. Mental? Well the jury's still out on that one." I was promptly clobbered with a pillow.
"MENTAL, I'll show you MENTAL!" Lance came toward me as I fell down sideways on the couch. He jumped on top of me, straddling my hips and started tickling me.
"Do...you...always...have...to be...on top?" I couldn't help saying it.
"It depends on my mood!" Lance shocked everyone with his response. He noticed the shocked look on my face and stopped tickling me. "What?"
"Spoken like a true SMART-ASS. There's hope for you yet, Boo." I never intended to use my nickname for Lance in front of the others.
"BOO, you call Lance BOO? Now isn't that sweet." Chris started making kissing noises.
"You're just jealous! Besides, I'm sure Joey will come up with something soon enough." I started laughing as did JC, Justin and Lance. Chris and Joey just glared at me.
"How many times do I have to tell you, I'M NOT GAY." Joey said this in a High Drama manner. Chris just affirmed Joey's statement.
"Yah, yah, yah. And if a frog had wings, it wouldn't bump its ass to the ground!" Everyone started laughing.
After we all stopped laughing, I noticed Lance looked awful comfortable sitting on top of me. I just gazed up at Lance until he noticed my stare.
"What?" Lance was truly puzzled.
"I was just wondering how long you're gonna sit on me like the LAY-Z-BOY you think I am." I smiled up at Lance as everyone else broke into a little verse.
Boo and Jase, sitting in a tree.
K.I.S.S.I.N.G. First comes love,
Then comes marriage.
There goes Boo with a baby carriage.
That's when I got the shock of my life. Lance started grinning and leaned down slowly, until his face was just inches from mine. He waited to see if I knew what he was doing. I did. I closed my eyes as Lance kissed me gently, but with much affection. I returned the kiss and it became more and more passionate. After our little make out session, I looked into Lance's eyes and could see nothing but contentment.
"Now, are you perverts satisfied?" Lance continued to look deeply into my eyes.
"No, I was hopin' to see a little skin!" Justin said with a sly grin.
"You know, you scare me Justin. JC, are you sure he's your one and only love?" I grinned at JC.
"With all my heart!" JC looked at Justin and kissed him gently on the lips.
"Joey, I don't know 'bout you, but it's getting' a little too touchy-feely up in here. How 'bout we get out of here before these boys get any ideas.
As if by cue, JC, Justin, Lance and I got up and started moving toward Joey and Chris. As the four of us got closer and closer, Chris and Joey's eyes got wider and wider. I don't know who started laughing first, but soon we were all laughing hysterically, save Chris and Joey. However, I noticed neither one of them made any attempt to flee.
"What'd I tell y'all. These two are the biggest closet cases I've ever met!" I couldn't help myself.
That's when things got REALLY weird. Joey looked at Chris. Chris looked at Joey. Then they both gave each other a quick kiss on the lips. Nothing passionate, more like a child would give their dad a kiss goodnight. (I'm from the South! Kissin' cousins and all!)
"There, satisfied?" Both Chris and Joey said this at once.
"No, let's see some skin!" Everyone just looked at Justin in amazement.
"JC, you better jump this boy's bones tonight. I think he's gonna overheat if he doesn't get some action soon!" Everyone started giggling at JC's shocked face and Justin's evil grin.
"I'm down with DAT!" Justin sent everyone into a roar with his comment.
"Now, what were we talking about before this little episode. Oh yah! JC, what were you gonna tell me about Justin and Vodka?" I moved back to the couch and sat down to listen.
"Well, it was years ago, the first time we ever stayed in a hotel with a mini-bar in the room. Justin decided he would just play grown-up and fix himself a little drink. It was hilarious! He held his nose and took a sip and nearly gagged. I started kidding Justin about drinkin' like a real man.
I never thought he would take me seriously! I left to get the other guys so we could order room service and eat dinner. I was only gone for like five, maybe ten minutes. Then I came back to Justin's room to find he had finished off like six or seven bottles out of the mini-bar. He was fine when I first got there, but he started turning green as the liquor kicked in. Justin almost couldn't walk to the bathroom when he started getting sick. I held his head and he threw up everything he had to drink and then some. Actually, I felt kinda guilty at the time. I had given him a hard time about not being able to drink and he was just trying to prove me wrong.
So, I cleaned him up, took off his clothes, and put him to bed for the night. This all happened before the food and the other guys even arrived! So needless to say, Justin's first run-in with Vodka wasn't the fun he thought it would be. But now, it's like his favorite drink." JC was grinning at the now blushing Justin.
"Here, here. Justin, any time you want a drinkin' buddy, I'll bring the Vodka, you bring the ice." Everyone looked at me as if I was crazy.
"Vodka with ice?" Lance asked me questioningly.
"Yah, Vodka on the rocks with a twist of lime. What! Don't tell me you only drink Screwdrivers?" I was rather shocked.
"Well, yah. Drinkin' that shit straight will take you OUT." Justin spoke as if by experience.
"Light weight!" I decided to stand and take my empty bottle of water to the trash when I noticed my legs seemed a little weak and wobbly. Justin noticed my state.
"SEE, THAT SHIT SNEEKS UP ON YOU!" Justin and the others started laughing at my impaired condition. Even with the water, 12oz of Vodka at one time will play hell with the body.
"Hey, y'all. How 'bout we get somethin' to eat. It's only noon, and it's WAY too early to be getting' drunk!" I got no complaints.
JC went to the kitchen and ordered Chinese Take-out. He ordered practically everything on the menu. While the food was being ordered, I ask the guys where the best beach was to go around here. Lance suggested a little private stretch of beach that they had permission to use at their leisure. I suggested we all go to the beach and spend the rest of the day chillin' out. Justin took Lance and Joey to pick up their vehicles, and for the first time since I had arrived Wednesday evening, the guys reminded me that they did in fact have separate lives. Chris, JC and I talked about nothing and everything while the rest of the guys were away.
"So Chris. What's up with you and Joey?" JC asked out of the blue.
"Nothing's up. We just wanted to get you guys to shut up about us being gay." Chris sounded a little defensive.
"So you decided kissing Joe would make us shut up?" JC continued the interrogation.
"JC, give the man a break. Not every guy is able to accept having feelings for another man, especially one of their best friends." I was trying to take the heat off of Chris.
"But..."
"No 'buts' JC. If or when Chris admits he's attracted to other guys, just be there to support him like he was there to support you. From the way he took you hookin' up with Justin, I'd say he'd known for some time that you had feelings for Justin. But did he nag you?" I didn't mean to preach, but I felt Chris needed to understand that no matter what he felt, JC and I would be supportive. I never knew how big an impact my words would have on Chris.
"Jase, how long have you known?" Chris looked at me through tears. JC's mouth dropped open for a second before he collected himself.
"I don't know as though I ever did know for sure until now. It's almost as if you had told me in another life or something. I don't know, I'm just rambling aren't I." I stopped speaking. I was sounding a little freaky and sure as hell couldn't tell Chris I had dreamt about him being gay in my guardian angel dream Monday morning.
"I never thought the day would come that I would tell any of you how I felt.
I only realized myself last year when my relationship with my long time girlfriend seemed to just fizzle out. I never felt completely right with her and I guess she could sense it. But, I never could tell the one..."
"You could never tell Joey how you felt?" I shocked both JC and Chris.
"How did you know that!" Chris was shocked.
"Last night when we started watchin' the movie, which sucked by the way, I saw Joey messin' idly with your hair and you had the most content smile on your face. I just kinda guessed. And truth be told, I don't think Joey is gonna have a problem with you bein' gay, Chris. He had that same goofy grin on his face as he sat there playin' with your hair." JC and Chris both looked at me in amazement.
"Who are you? How can you know all of this?" Chris asked as JC nodded his head in agreement.
"Like I said in Dallas, my name's Jason, but my friends call me Jase. The rest you'll learn in due time." I smiled at Chris. He pulled me into a hug and whispered 'thank you' in my ear.
As Chris and I pulled apart, Lance, Joey and Justin walked into the door carrying the Chinese Take-out. Justin had just driven up when the delivery guy showed up and had already paid the bill. With food in the house, the attention turned to eating and not to the revelation Chris had made to JC and me.
After everyone was stuffed, we put the leftovers in the fridge and started getting ready for the beach. I put on some trunks and a t-shirt, but also grabbed a pair of sweat pants and a sweater from my duffel bag. Even though the day was sunny, the evenings could get cool by the water, especially in March. We packed everything into Lance's 4-Runner and Joey's SUV and headed out. Lance led the way. I sat beside him as he drove and I hummed to myself happily. I began singing without even realizing it. I don't know how long Lance drove, and I sang, but in no time we pulled up to a private beach and everyone got out.
The day was beautiful, but the water was colder than a witch's tit in a metal bra. Everyone seemed to have a good time just goofing off and playing in the surf. I noticed Chris had been very quiet since we had arrived at the beach, so I decided to check on him.
"Chris, penny for your thoughts!" I walked over to where Chris was standing.
"Why should you pay, you seem to know everything of consequence anyway." Chris realized he was being snappy before I had a chance to say anything. "I'm sorry."
"Don't apologize! I had no right to 'out' you the way I did, especially with JC there. It's my fault. I just wanted you to know how I felt and that if you needed to talk about ANYTHING, I would be there. Have you decided to tell the other guys yet? I know JC won't say anything without your consent." I put my arm around Chris's shoulder as we walked down the beach away from the other guys.
"I don't know. Everything is just changing so fast. First, Justin lets it slip that he is gay. Then, JC hooks up with Justin. Don't even mention how Lance broke the news. Of all the guys, Lance was the one I expected to have an emotional outburst out of the blue and admit he's gay. Lance is very sensitive when it comes to his relationships, friend or otherwise. I hope you know that?" Chris raised an eyebrow as he said this.
"Yah, I know. But let's not change the subject. Don't take this for gospel, but I think tellin' the guys sooner rather than later is your best course of action. Y'all are fixin' to get wicked crazy pushin' the release of 'No Strings Attached.' I think startin' out with a clean slate will let you handle the 'job' stress better without compoundin' it with the emotional tension of keepin' the guys in the dark. That's just my opinion. Take it for what it's worth." I realized I was preaching again.
"OK. With you around, I think everything will work out fine." Chris smiled at me when he said this.
"Then let's get back to the guys and let the cat out of the bag." I chuckled to myself.
"You know, you've got to be the craziest duck I've ever met; you and your clichés and what not." Chris started giggling to himself.
"Hey, never a dull word spoken!"
Chris and I walked back to the others and sat down on the blanket Lance had spread out. We had brought an ice chest full of drinks and stuff to munch on. As if by cue, everyone congregated around the ice chest in the middle of the blanket and sat down.
"Guys, I need to tell you something." Chris paused and tears started falling down his cheeks.
Everyone sat quietly and JC took hold of Chris's hand for support. Justin looked at JC strangely, but then seemed to realize the gesture was one of a friend showing concern. Chris wiped the tears away with the back of his hand.
"I'm gay." Chris spoke in a whisper.
Silence fell among the group as the waves crashed on the shore behind us. No one ventured to say anything and just absorbed the news. For whatever reason, we all sat there in silence for several minutes. I watched Joey as the tears gathered in his eyes. He tried desperately not to let them fall, but his emotions won control. Joey stood and walked around the ice chest and sat beside Chris.
"Why didn't you ever say anything before?" Joey's question was not spoken with hate, but with love and concern.
"Because I couldn't risk losing you as my best friend. Of all of the guys, I'm closest to you. I would be devastated to lose any of you as friends, but to lose you, Joe, would have been more than I could bare." Chris started sobbing quietly.
"I love you too!" Joey's words shocked everyone, but it took Chris several minutes to register what he had said.
"You what?" Chris was shocked.
"I said I love you too! I've had feelings for you for longer than I care to remember." Now Joey was crying.
"But what about all the girls? You flirt and date CONSTANTLY! I never thought..." Chris couldn't continue.
"Well, I had a public image to maintain, like all of us. Didn't you ever wonder why the discussions about girls were next to none outside of interviews and public appearances?" Joey had gained more control.
"Not really, I never paid that much attention." Chris had calmed down.
"Would you two kiss already. Just get it over with!" Justin said this through his own tears as he held JC's hand and watched his two friends kiss, FOR REAL, for the first time.
Joey and Chris kissed, at first timidly, but then with more passion. When they pulled apart, they hugged each other and apologized for not being honest with one another. JC, Justin, Lance and I had tears of happiness running down our faces from the joy of seeing Joey and Chris express their love. That's when my cell phone ran.
"Hello...hey, how was your flight...oh, that good! What's up...you're shittin' me! I never thought...I will, and YES, I'LL TALK TO JOEY. I know I've been ridin' your ass lately, but did you get a chance to look over the legal documents I sent Overnight Express?... OK. I'll come by your office week from next Monday to sign everything...I will, and Gary, thanks."
"What does Gary want to talk to me about?" Joey had picked up on his name in the conversation.
"Gary is a big Super Man Memorabilia collector and wants a picture of you wearing somethin' 'Super Man.' He's under the notion that collecting photos of celebrities who are Super Man Memorabilia collectors is the next fad." I started laughing at the thought of it all.
"He may be right!" Joey just grinned.
"But hey, I've got some REAL information to pass on. When Gary arrived back in Dallas, his office had received written confirmation from every publisher responsible for printing the whole 'airport/Lance/gay' story would not only retract their comments, but would disclose the true nature of what the pictures implied. Gary also received faxed copies of written apology letters as well. Jive should be passing them on to y'all soon. Y'all won this battle!" I took a deep breath as I realized I had not ruined *N Sync's career, even though I wasn't sure I wanted my business aired to the world about the loss of my family.
"No. YOU won this battle. You were the one who handled everything without a second thought. Jase, you really are a guardian angel. Look at all you've done in just two days. You saved..." Justin couldn't speak through the tears that had begun to fall. JC picked up were Justin left off.
"You saved Justin's life and helped me express my love for him. Jase, you gave all of us the courage to admit our sexuality without allowing any of us to feel the pain you've felt. Hell, you didn't let Justin quit *N Sync or allow the tabloids to ruin us. You have come into our lives just when we needed something, needed a guardian angel the most. And for that, I will always love you." JC couldn't keep back the tears.
"WE will always love you." Lance smiled as he said this through the tears that slowly slid down his cheeks.
"I...I don't have words to express..." I couldn't talk. My breath had been taken away by the realization that I was loved for who and what I was, no questions asked. I was enveloped in a very tight group hug. After several minutes, we broke apart and each sat on the blanket allowing the crash of the waves to be the only sound audible.
TBC...
Will Jase tell the guys about his dream? What do you think!