Disclaimer. Look at the first chapter! I own nothing. Not the song either! I like it though....
May you like this chapter! hugs a bear
Chapter Four
......... I find peace......
Today was going to be a very special day. One that I was sure was going to be a good day, why? My secret.
"Steve I'm going to be a little late today." I said as I ate a spoonful of cereal. "I'm going to practice my part for the play." It was technically a lie since I was not going to be practicing after school. There was a chance we might be going to practice in class though.
I told Ashley I had something to do after school so I couldn't hang out with her. She was curious as to what I was up to, but didn't press any further. She just told me not to do anything stupid.
I got to class extra early just to make sure I beat Liam. I didn't want to see him. It would ruin my special day. As soon as I got to my desk I made sure not to look at anything but the desk. Even when class started I made sure not to look at anything but the teacher.
The classes seemed longer than usual but I knew it was because I wanted to do something special after school. Even Art seemed long and it was usually a very fast class. Ashley asked me why I was quieter than usual, but I told her it was because I had something to think about. She didn't press any more than that, which I was glad for.
Schala didn't mind us not talking much, she let us hear some of her poetry. It was pretty good but I couldn't really focus on it. I was thankful for the fact that lunch went by pretty quickly. The classes, like before, were longer than usual. I was flipping a coin all of sixth period. The librarian was busy ordering some textbooks for the next year.
We practiced our roles in Theater. It killed time and let my mind focus on something else, instead of what would be an hour from now. Amber didn't let her argument with me ruin her acting. She was very professional, at least until our scene ended. The bell rang and I waited ten minutes before I left the classroom. I wanted to make sure Ashley was gone. I wanted to get there without any interruptions.
I stepped out and saw Eric talking to Sam. It didn't look bad so I walked away. I was at the bike rack before I saw Eric come to me.
"Is something wrong, dude?" Eric asked when he reached me.
I put the chain inside my backpack. "No, I just have something on my mind." I got on. "Do you need something?" I really wanted to go. Who knew if Liam was going to be looking for his friend or not.
"Yeah, I wanted to talk to you about a few things." Shit. "Do you have time?"
I bit my lip. There was a chance he wanted to talk about being gay. I really wanted to be alone, but... "Do you have a GPS?"
"Yeah, why?"
I took out a piece of scratch paper and wrote down the address. "Go to this place and take the trail down, there will be an old parking area. I'll meet you there."
He looked at the address. "I can give you a lift on my truck. It's pretty far."
I shook my head. "Thanks for the offer, but I want to get there myself."
"Okay, I'll be there." He walked off to the parking lot.
It wasn't what I had planned, but I needed to help a friend out. Two birds one stone.
It took me about an hour to get to the factory. Eric texted me a few times but said that he had all day to wait for me. The area didn't look that different. A few trees had fallen but aside from that it was secluded.
"Are you going to rape me, kill me, and then hide my body in the factory?" Eric asked when I rode over to his truck.
"Oh no, my plan has been ruined." I got off my bike, putting it to the side of his truck. No one should see it unless they walked around it. "Did you have trouble finding the place?"
"A bit. I thought you were leading me on a wild goose chase until I saw the building." He looked at me. "Are we going to go in there?"
I shook my head. "It's dangerous. Back then it was unsafe. Imagine what eight years of no maintenance would have done to the floors." I pulled his sleeve and started walking past the factory. "There's a small lake down here."
"Really?" He asked surprised.
"Yeah, hidden away. There aren't any pipes or anything draining into it so its safe." I walked over a fallen tree. "I used to come down here all the time when I was a kid."
"Sweet. Oh , I was meaning to ask you about that." He stopped to check out a few wild flowers. "How long have you known Liam?"
"Well, back then my whole life. Right now just eight years." I paused and let him catch up. "We were raised together as babies. Our moms' have known each other since college."
"Ash told me about your parents. I'm sorry they're gone. My mom died a year ago."
"Thanks, and sorry for your loss." That was strange. She told him about my parents dying. Usually she didn't like talking about it. She must not have told him the whole story. Hell, lots of people didn't know the full story. Steve and I knew the full story. Everyone else pieced it together, with a few parts missing.
"It's hard losing a parent, but two?... and your grandpa... that's rough..."
"Yeah." We didn't say anything for a few minutes as we kept walking towards the lake. It was probably the size of a baseball field, but back then it was like a giant lake. We reached the lake and it felt just like back then. "We're here." I stopped and took a deep breath. Smelled like nature.
"Wow, it's beautiful." He walked past me to go look at the water. "Are there fish in here?"
"Maybe. Before yeah, but I don't know now." I walked over to him and sat down right next to him. I always liked being near the water. "So what did you want to talk about?"
"Can you give me a bit?" He sat down and took a few deep breaths.
"Yeah."
"So why did you want to come down here?" He looked at me.
I grabbed a pebble and tossed it into the water. "Just reliving old memories." I wanted to be here alone and think back on how Liam, Ashley, and I used to be here. And the kisses Liam and I shared. I saw Steve doing it a few times and I wanted to know what it felt like. After a while Liam said we should keep practicing, so that when we were older we would be great at it.
"Anything specific?"
I closed my eyes and felt the breeze. "Just about Liam, I haven't visited the old him in a while."
"He that different from before?"
"Yeah, from what I could tell. I haven't really had the chance to talk to him much." Either he was angry or we had some misunderstanding. I didn't want to push him. Or let anyone push us. I wanted to see if I still loved him, and not just the old him. Childhood love. How fickle.
"What's the deal with that anyway? Did you try to hit on him or something?"
I laughed. "No, nothing like that. I doubt he would mind me hitting on him."
"Is he gay?"
I laughed. "I don't know. He is who he is, but what I can tell you is he didn't mind kissing me before."
He stayed quiet for a while as I watched the leaves dance in the water. "So you were an item back then?"
"Well if you consider two eight year old's saying they were married, then yes." It was funny. We used to say how we were going to have lots of kids and live in a giant house with lots of animals. When asked how we were going to have kids Liam always said from our love and my tummy.
"That young, and you were already gay?" I nodded. "Wow.... for me it came around fourteen."
I didn't say anything. A few minutes passed and I could hear some birds chirping off in the distance. It was quiet and I liked it. I wondered if Liam ever came back here. Chances were he didn't since even Ashley didn't come here anymore. She said that it felt wrong to come here without me, without Liam. It did feel a little weird without them here.
I could feel the weirdness of not having Liam or Ashley here, but I needed them to not be here. I needed to be here without them and just think back to what we had. Not joking around, just thinking back. Eric was not what I wanted, but it was nice to have someone who didn't remember those things from back then. Not giving my old memories a new perspective.
"So were Ashley and Liam friends once too?"
Ah, I was wondering if he was going to ask that. "Once upon a time yes, but once they got to middle school they drifted apart." More like Liam ignored her completely. The year that I left he started being distant with her. She didn't know why, but eventually he just started to completely ignore her. For years she didn't have a friend to call her own. Liam opened up from his shell and made new friends.
Ashley, who used to run around in dresses and make people look at her, closed off. Her only two friends in the world had abandoned her. One left because he had no choice. He didn't even know he wasn't coming back until it was done. The other didn't give an explanation, just stopped. It wasn't until her seventh grade that she finally found her friend again.
But by then Liam had his own new life. He didn't need his old friend. Even when his sister told him that she talked to that old friend, he didn't want to hear anything about him. I was crushed, but I didn't want to push. Years passed by and I didn't hear much about him. Not because I didn't want to. But because I knew I would want to hear more about him. Whilst he didn't want to hear anything about me.
"Really? Why?"
"I don't know." I wrapped my arms around my legs, pushing my knees under my chin. "I really don't know."
"Do you love him?"
"I really, really don't know." He was giving me mixed signals.
He got quiet again. "I was fourteen when I met him, he was my first crush actually. There's just something about him that attracts you."
I didn't say anything.
"Girls didn't catch my attention like guys did. My eyes followed them. I just didn't know why." He tossed a pebble into the lake. "One day Liam came over after going on a run with me. We were all sweaty and he took off his shirt. I didn't know why, but I found it hot. I got my first boner that day." He laughed.
I rocked myself with my heels. I didn't feel jealous or anything. It was perfectly natural.... to lust... after....my, I mean... Liam.
"After a while I noticed guys were pretty hot. I got turned on by a few of them. My friends started saying girls were hot and how they wanted to do things with them. I didn't want to be a freak so I followed their lead. Liam... Liam didn't want anyone. Any guys who didn't look at girls or say they were hot got called gay, but not Liam."
He paused.
"He was just the type of guy who you didn't want to make fun of. He was great. Helpful, kind, sweet, and incredibly, painfully slow." He scratched his nose. "It may seem like I have a crush on him now, but that's not the case. He's just a brother to me now."
A few seconds passed by. Then a few minutes. "He just helped everyone out. Even if you were a dick to him. And boy, were there some dicks in school." He chuckled. "And not the good kind. After a while, I realized that I was gay. I thought I was bi, but girls never did anything for me. My dad back then was such a dick too. Still is."
I kept listening to him, he had a lot of things to get off his chest.
"He used to complain about how homos were disgusting. Used to call them fa-" He stopped to look at me. My eyebrow was raised. "All sorts of stuff. He told me if I was ever like one of them, he was going to beat me down shitless. So I didn't dare tell anyone. If I did he would find out."
That happened more times than I liked.
"So here I was fourteen, gay, and scared of being found out. I had this major crush on my friend and I felt so alone." He paused and I reached over to rub his back. "Years passed and I was always worried if something that I did gave off a gay vibe." He threw another rock. "I have an older brother, you know? Couple of years older, like Steve.."
I didn't know that.
"He was funny, and he always had a joke to tell. Dad caught him last year making out with his best friend, a guy." Shit. "I loved my brother so much. who knew my brother was gay too? I always felt alone, and just when I found someone to talk to they get kicked out. He yelled at him for hours before kicking him out. Called him an f'ing f', and told him never to come back."
His voice was sad, really sad. My heart went out to him. "I haven't talked to him since then. Dad forbade me to talk to a homo. Mom died a few months later from malnutrition. She couldn't bear the thought of losing her son. She didn't lose him, really, but dad made sure it felt like she had. Tearing up all the photos and changing the numbers. Even moving."
I could hear the stutters in his voice, he was crying. I reached over and hugged his side. "I lost my brother and my mother that year. I didn't want to be kicked out, I didn't want to be alone. Even if it meant staying with that bastard.... So each time something or someone gay was there or talked about, I always made sure to trash it." He paused. "Each time I did that a piece of me died."
"Sam is the type of guy I want to be, a guy who's able to be himself. He's the only gay guy I pick on, you know?" That I did know. Sam told me how all Eric's aggression was focused on him and no one else. "You're the type of guy that I want to be too. Not the outside look, since hell, I'm scared of needles, but that you can be who you are."
"You're who you really are, inside and out. And... I can't be... That day when you told me you knew I was gay, you scared the shit out of me. I was worried you were going to tell everyone. I'm sixteen, about to be seventeen, and I was scared shitless that day. If you told anyone my whole life would have been ruined. But you didn't, you didn't even try to blackmail me."
"You didn't have anything I wanted." We laughed for a bit.
"And right now you're here listening to me, when no one else would."
"You have Liam."
He took a deep breath. "He... I just couldn't bring him into all this shit."
"You have Erika, Schala, Ashley and I now."
He laughed. "Two of those people are scary ass shit. Especially Erika. You never know where you stand with her."
"That, you do not."
"Today, Sam forgave me for all the shit I did to him." He sighed. "He didn't even hit me when I told him to, said that I was just like everyone else. Having a rough time. He said you told him I was having problems and that taking it out on him was how I was coping." He bumped my knee with his hand. "Thanks for that."
"No problem. You stopped bullying him, and that was good."
"Yeah. Didn't want to give you an incentive to out me."
"Yeah...." I tossed a coin into the lake making another wager. I wasn't going to know the outcome though. "But don't you feel better?"
"Yeah. Like a whole crap load of pressure has been lifted off my shoulders."
"That's good. Don't need crap on us." We laughed and let the time fly by. We didn't talk about anything just enjoyed each others company. We didn't need words, we just needed each others company. His thoughts were somewhere else, and so were mine.
I was thinking of the little boy who was now a man, and wondering if maybe he still wanted me.
Eric took me back home around six, and told me how good he felt. That he might even try to contact his brother. He really wanted to talk to him again. Find out what he was doing, and make sure he was forgiven for not having his back.
I got inside, after making sure my bike was chained up to the fence, and headed to the living room. My piano was set up there. We couldn't put it in my room with my new drum set. I touched the keys and heard their melody.
I sat down and played my old bed time song. "Sleep, my child and peace attend them all through the night. Guardian angels, God will send thee. All through the night." I played the verse a second time. "Soft, the drowsy hours are creeping. Hill and vale, in slumber sleeping. I, my loving vigil keeping. All thought the night.
"While the moon, her watching keeping. All through the night. While the weary world is sleeping. All through the night.. O'er thy spirit gently stealing, visions of delight revealing breaths a pure and holy feeling. All through the night." I took a deep breath, I missed her. "Love to thee, my thoughts are turning. All through the night. All for thee, my heart is yearning. All through the night."
I stopped playing. I... couldn't finish. I just... couldn't.
"Though sad fate our lives may sever, parting will not last forever, their's is a hope that leaves me never. All through the night." I looked over and saw Steve looking back at me. "Did you forget the rest of the song?"
I wiped my nose. "When did you get home?"
He let the subject drop. "A few minutes ago actually." He loosened his tie and kept his eyes on me. "I haven't heard the neighbors complain about the drums."
I smiled. "That's because I haven't gotten to the good stuff yet." The good stuff meaning inspiration. The drums were a good way to make up some new beats. I had a song in my head but I couldn't get the words in order.
He walked over to me and put a hand to my cheek. For a split second he was mom. "You looked so cute right now. Too cute to be human." I could hear her voice in the background.
"How was work?"
He let his hand drop and went over to the fridge. "Everything is going good. Having a problem with the Nash family." When did we not have a problem with them? "They want to see how our company is doing, and they want to stick their noses into our records."
"You're not letting them, right?" Steve had half of the company under his name. Thirty percent was under mine. Steve had full power over the company. Since the last twenty belong to the Nash family. There was no way I was going to side with them.
"No, I told them to keep their noses out of our numbers, and just take the cash. They still don't want to sell me their share. We're doing just fine. More than fine." He opened a water bottle and drank. "Going to make them sell me their share sooner or later."
"So what are we gong to eat for dinner?" If he dropped a subject, I could do the same.
"I was thinking we could do mashed potatoes, mac and cheese, with some ice cream on the side?" He raised an eyebrow.
"Get those spuds boiling then."
A dreaded holiday was coming and I was in no mood for it.
Valentines day.
It was all well and good to devote a day of love, and all that, but when you were single it sucked. There was love everywhere and the stores wanted to drain money from you. Just so they could remind you that you didn't have love. They gave you ways to try to make you have love though, and they had ways to keep that love going if you achieved it, spending more money.
Ashley agreed with me on the whole `Valentines day is hell' thing. Strangely, Schala loved the idea of valentines day. She liked the idea of giving strangers candy. Having them take a chance at eating something poisonous. There was something really weird about that girl. Ashley didn't like it since it gave boys a bad reason to be nice to girls getting into their pants.
For a day they would be the sweetest person ever, for the chance to get in your pants. The next day they didn't even acknowledge the nice things they had done the day before. She liked to watch it happen though. She liked seeing how people were able to change so quickly. She liked feeding on the misery. Yeah, she needed help.
"They are doing Valentines Grams that day, you know?" Schala reached out and caught a butterfly as it passed by. She opened her hand and played with its wings. At least she didn't kill it. "We could get each other one."
That was strangely out of place for her. "So, we would be like all the other single people and give them out to our friends just to get one back?"
"Candy is candy." Touche. "So, want to?"
"Well, I don't mind. As long as I don't have to do it for anyone else but you two, and Erika." Ashley leaned over to take the butterfly from Schala. She let it fly away, she loved butterflies.
I weighed my options. Either I do it and they be happy and lose a few dollars, or not and they get mad. "Whatever for me, just get the cheap ones. No need to get all fancy with it."
"Totally, the fifteen dollar package is a heart shaped chocolate, stuffed bear, and balloons." Schala stuck out her tongue. "I would rather them giving out stripper grams."
We all laughed. We agreed to get each other a gram. Seeing as I was going to give one to the girls I decided why not give them to the rest of my friends? I gave one to Sam and one to Eric, I put my initials so they couldn't tell I was a boy. I was even generous enough to give one to Amber. It was anonymous though. They were going to be delivered tomorrow, on the evil day.
The dreaded day was here, and the gifts were supposed to be sent just before fourth period ended. Steve, just to get on my nerves, left me a chocolate shaped box outside my door. Even if I hated the holiday it didn't mean I had to let the chocolate go to waste, right?
The 'deliverers of love' knocked on the classroom door, and one of the students let them in. I was talking to Ashley about going to a pizza joint when they called her name. She had received four gifts. Schala, Erika, me, and an anonymous. She blushed as she held the one with no name.
"Noah Nash?" I got up and walked over. I received five gifts. Just as I was about to walk away the girl blew on a whistle. "Noah Nash you have received a special gift!" She gave a fake smile and threw some confetti at me. "From a secret admirer." She covered her mouth as she said it, even though I was sure half the class heard it.
What. The. Hell. She gave me a medium sized chocolate box, a teddy bear, and two heart shaped balloons. A few of my classmates whistled as I walked over to my desk. Ashley, Schala, Erika, Sam, and Eric had sent me the small candy. Eric didn't write his name on it but he put an E on the first name. Not to arouse suspicion for sending candy to a boy.
The name on the chocolate was anonymous. Who could have sent me chocolate? The sick bastard had given me all this crap. Good, cute crap, but nonetheless evil.
I didn't have to think much as the bell rang and it was time for lunch. I felt pretty silly walking around with the balloons. But at least a few people were carrying them around too so I didn't feel that weird.
"I thought we agreed to not get each other the expensive gifts?" Schala was waiting by the tree with balloons, chocolate and a stuffed bear. She had a frown on her face. "I noticed you let them put confetti on you?"
"I thought I got it all off." I shook a little and saw a few bits of confetti fall down. "I didn't get you that though."
"Bitch didn't wanna die."
"Don't look at me. I didn't get one of those things." Was there a hint of jealousy there?
"I had a feeling since I got small ones from you guys." We sat down. Hard to do when a balloon was smacking you in the face.
"Is yours from anonymous too?"
She shook her head. "It has Red on it." She passed it to me and yup. It had Red on it.
"Well lucky you. Mine does." I lifted the white bear and looked at it. Was kinda cute.
We were debating on who gave us the gifts as we saw Erika walkover to us. "Wow you guys got them too? Sweet. I just got two bears and some candy." She probably asked to go to the bathroom again. The two bears were the medium package.
"Don't you play innocent, I know you gave it to us." Schala looked at Erika.
"I did not give you that!" She got bright red and started twirling her hair. She was lying.
"Did you give me one?" I didn't wanna confront her on her lie.
She looked over to me. "No. I know you didn't like Valentines day, so why would I?" She didn't twirl her hair. She was... telling the truth?
"Really?" Then... who?
"I promise." She didn't even touch her hair. "I just wanted to tell you guys thank you for the candy.... and Schala for the bear...." She blushed and ran away. That was strange.
"You gave her a bear?" Ashley was surprised. As was I.
"Eh, she's a cute kid. You give them toys, and they follow you forever." She picked up her red bear and spun it around. "She gave me this one."
We didn't argue.
Who gave me these gifts though?
There wasn't a problem with my presents until I got to my last class. A certain someone got mad she didn't get the expensive package. She even had the nerve to pop one of Sam's balloons. Which promptly got her a detention. She fumed for the rest of the period. Sam thanked me for my gift and asked who gave me mine. When I told him I didn't know, he told me the same thing had happened to him.
He passed me his card and it had a scribble on it. Like the person wrote something down then covered it up with loops. I could make out the outline of a E.... Eric? Did Eric send Sam the gift?
Mine was blank so... That was weird.
I didn't tell Sam about the E since it didn't feel like my place.
I gave Ashley my things so she could take them to my house while I rode my bike there. I was going to either die from the balloons or tie someone up with them. I was unchaining my bike when Liam walked up. Weird. I thought we were playing the ignoring game. Well, he was at least.
"Hi." He said just a few feet away from me.
I got on my bike and stuck a lollipop in my mouth. "Hey. Happy Valentines day."
He looked at the lollipop in my mouth. "You too..." He paused. "Thanks for the candy."
But I didn't.... Erika. "No problem, you enjoy it."
"Did you get anything?"
"Yeah some candy." I moved my backpack to my back. "A bear, balloons, and some nasty tasting chocolate." They should have given okay tasting chocolates.
"You threw them away?"
I shook my head. "I didn't have the heart to throw away such a cute bear. Gave them to Ashley to take home for me." I put one leg on the peddle, the other was still on the floor. "You get anything good?"
"Not really." He bit his lip and backed up. "I need to go..." He didn't say bye, or wait for a bye. Just left.
Okay, that was weird. I shrugged and made my way home. Why did he ask that? Probably asked since I didn't carry them around anymore.
That had to be it.
I shook my head and peddled faster. My little bear had a big brother now. Too bad they weren't from the same father. I could hope though.
I put the new bear with the bear Liam gave me. They looked a little similar. But the one I had now was bigger than the one Liam gave me. I got the smaller bear and gave it a kiss. "You're the second bear your daddy gave me." I put it back. "I wish I still had your older brother." The one that got lost.
He was probably decomposed already. Or maybe not. Who knows, but it wasn't going to be like the one before.
"So are we going to order the pizza, or have it delivered?" Ash asked as I walked down the stairs.
"Call for it, I don't want to leave the house." I dropped myself on the sofa.
"What do you want on it?" She took out her phone.
"The phone number is on the kitchen table...." I mumbled into the cushion. I lifted up my head. "Meat :Lovers and Veggie, if they have those."
"Yes sir." She walked out of the living room and I put my face down on the cushion. "You know peoples butts sit on those things."
I raised my head and blew out some air. She had to ruin some things didn't she? There was a knock on the door and I sighed. "Ashley someone is at the door,"
"Then get it, I'm going to call."
I reached out to the door but I couldn't reach it. "It's too far!"
"Ugh!" Ashley walked out of the kitchen, phone in hand, towards the door. She got a pillow from the other couch and tossed it at me. She opened the door. "Oh hey, I wasn't expecting you." She let someone in but I didn't look.
"Yeah I was bored. My buds are out with their girlfriends or moping in their room." Eric said as Ashley closed the door. "Is he moping too?"
I mumbled out lazily.
"No, he's just lazy." There was a pause and I heard people sitting down. "What do you like on your pizza?"
"Pepperoni."
I rubbed my head on the pillow. "Can you turn on the TV, is a movie on or something?" I let the pillow fall from my face and onto the floor.
"You really are being lazy right now aren't you?"
I grunted. "I'm to lazy to flick you off right now."
"But your not to lazy to flap your gums..... Yes hello, I would like to place an order for deliver." She mumbled off our direction and our orders. "Do you take credit cards?" She walked over to me and stuck out her hand. "Okay just a minute." I dug into my wallet and gave it to her. She rolled her eyes and gave the guy my info. "Yes, we have an ID for the car and yes we have cash."
She handed me back my wallet and I slowly put it back in my pocket. I was just in a lazy mood.
"Dude you have a credit card?" Eric was surprised.
"Yeah.... Brother gave it to me...." I put the pillow back on my head as some commercial came on. "Put on a scary movie or something."
"Can I use pay-per-view?"
"As long as it's not porn, go ahead." I moved over to let Ashley sit down next to me. "Make it really scary... no knives though."
He raised an eyebrow. "That's a weird request. The best ones have a serial killer wielding sharp knives."
"No knives...."
"Noah is terrified of knives and the dark." She patted my shoulder as I kicked my shoes off. "They can give him an anxiety attack."
He nodded. Ashley told him about my anxiety issues. I put my feet on the couch and looked at the TV. It was a little embarrassing being a sixteen year old with a nightlight.
We watched half the movie before the pizza arrived. The movie was about some people being trapped in an elevator with the devil, It wasn't that scary. The guy checked my ID and got a little extra tip for giving us a free soda. A little shameless flirting never hurts.
"I thought that guy was going to punch you." Eric said as he took the pizza box Ashley handed him. We each had our own pizza. Well, I had two.
"My gaydar never fails." I told the delivery guy how hot he looked with his beard and I did a little arm touching.
"That dude was buff though. I wouldn't have pegged him as gay." He opened the Coke and served us soda.
"Noah has a really strong gaydar." Ashley took the cup that was offered to her. "He only tests it out when there isn't a chance he can get hit."
Before he could ask I spoke. "Closet gay guys tend to hit if you hit on them in front of their friends." Happened once but Steve ended up knocking him out. He punched my cheek and he ended up getting sucker punched.
"I get that."
We ate in silence for a while. "So did you give Sam that Valentines package?"
Erik started choking. Ash and I both watched him as he drank some soda. "How could you tell?"
I smiled. "I saw an outline of an E just like the one you gave me." The candy was currently in my stomach.
He gave out a sigh. "Was freaking out there for a second." He took another drink. "Did you tell him?"
"No...... So, you like him?" I raised my eyebrow.
"I don't know, but I wanted to give him something nice." I nodded, that made sense. He looked over to Ashley. "You know he would have gotten you something bigger, but he didn't wanna embarrass you."
"S-shut up." Ash got all red and looked at me. "Ask and I'll tell him about how you knocked out a server with some liquid."
I zipped my lip.
They left a few hours after we finished the pizza. Ashley gave me some info about the guy who sent her the candy. It was someone she knew for a while, and he had shown her interest for a while but she wanted to take it slow. Really, really slow... She thought the guy would back out, but he said it was fine, since he didn't wanna rush her.
Steve spent a little time with me before he went to sleep. He was tired. Some problems at a job site so he had to do a little overtime today and tomorrow. He was overworking himself but that's the way he liked it. He liked his mind to be filled with things to worry about.
I went up to my room and noticed Steve was making some noise in his room. His door was opened so I decided to tell him goodnight. I pushed the door open and saw his back. He didn't have a shirt on and was looking through his desk. I could see the scars on his back. Four one inch scars across his back. He was tan which made the scars stick out even more. I pressed the middle of my forehead. Mine wasn't visible.
He turned around. "Oh, hey Noah, need something?" He gave me a smile. His chest hair couldn't hide the one scar.
"I wanted to say goodnight." I gave him a smile.
"Okay. Make sure to keep your door open." I nodded and left him to do whatever he was doing.
I got into bed and looked up at ceiling. The nightlight shined brightly as I turned to look at it. Such a simple thing could make my mind calm. But if it went out I would start having an attack. It would be instant and slow but would grow as the seconds passed by.
I took a deep breath and closed my eyes.
All I wanted..... was... no... needed... was... "Liam."
Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee................ the next chapter will be a short one. Why you may ask? Since it will lead to certain events. Certain events you will like... or dread depending on what your mentality is.
As always I would love some reviews! I'm getting a few, which I love, but want to get more input!
So see you people later!
gives you all cookies Let the baker in training make you all fat! Props if you know what the song is.