Dylans Dilemma

****************DYLAN'S DILEMMA PART 10 *********************

Chapter One

On the way home there was a lot of summer traffic hampering our progress. What should have taken seven hours, took close to nine... the three of us were grumpy by the time we finally arrived in front of our condo at nine-thirty Saturday night. We'd eaten dinner at a joint off route 84E that might be the worst restaurant in three or four states. Terrible service and worse food. Mom and Tris tried to be perky, but even they couldn't pull it off. It's like Chubby said the day we were leaving for vacation, "Ya gotta be really well rested and in wicked good health to survive vacation, they kill ya... they're exhausting." Chubby had his own nightmare experience yesterday, taking the bus home. That took twelve hours and then he had to put up with Ricky, and whatever that entails... so none of us has had an easy time getting back to the real world. However, a good night's sleep and I'll bet we'll reflect back on our past two weeks in Wildwood as awesome. Then, Sunday for recuperating and getting ready for work on Monday. It really was a great vacation... the Moms hooked-up with a couple of cool guys the second day there and the four of them got along nicely the entire two weeks. Chubby was forced to return for Saturday work, but he still had a great time over-all, and then there's me who had a fabulous time... better then all the rest. That's what I think anyway.

Part of my fabulous time is the little matter of me falling in love with Willie during our crazy weekend in Sea Isle City. It was a rocky ride, that weekend, but we survived it and then some. The sex was awesome and our adventures were exciting, scary, fun... and we also had some brand new experiences that were deliciously goofy too. I guess Willie accomplished his major goal for the weekend, he got me to admit that he's dominant in our relationship. That sounds so much more ominous than it actually is. Dominance comes into play about one percent of the time. The rest of the time it's fifty/fifty, or more likely, sixty/forty in my favor, because Willie is a softy and I get my way a lot. What can I say, I love him. He's kooky alright, also a totally original thinker where gay dating is concerned... and, as I found out, he's not afraid to get a little tough when he thinks he needs to. There aren't many boyfriends who are as attentive, as generous, as interesting, as funny... or who are as cute, or more loving, or as good at making-out, or as good at sex as my boyfriend Willie Worthington. I think I did pretty well for myself with him. Willie is my first boyfriend and he wants us to make it a long term relationship. To that end, he says boyfriends need to talk with each other every day and so I'm to call him daily on his cell phone. That's turned out to be something I look forward to. He's so funny, and not always on purpose either. I like hearing his voice to start with... real boyish and excited sounding. I can't feel "down" for long when I'm listening to Willie with his high energy level. I love all the corny, mushy stuff he tells me too... it helps me see myself in a positive light, gives me self confidence.

I've called him everyday since he left Sea Isle City and we talk for a half-hour at least. Actually, Willie does most of the talking, I answer his questions and then he's back to telling me stuff. He never runs out of things to talk about and I wonder sometimes if he memorizes stuff for our phone conversations like he does for our dinner conversation. There isn't any special time to call, I can call anytime I want, but I do need to call every day. Willie's made that quite clear and it's no big thing really, except Chubby got a little irritated a couple of times. He couldn't understand what Willie and I have to talk so much about. I told him a few of the funny things Willie says or some of the sports talk we have, but Chubby says "That still only adds up to about five fucking minutes. You're on the phone with him an hour a day... it's like you're two fourteen year old girls for Christ sake!". I go, "We're not on the phone an hour." Chubby waves his hand at me as if to say... forget it! and we talk about something else. After the second time Chubby complained I began calling Willie when I was alone.... like when I'd go for coffees on the boardwalk, or when I'd go early to the boardwalk to gawk at the boys jogging in unison, or for a walk up the beach. One of the things Willie and me talked about is going to Maine... you know, as guests of Carl and Larry. Willie's worried about the punishment Larry will give him because of his extreme flattop haircut... it's really been on Willie's mind. For the last two years Larry has insisted Willie have long hair because Larry likes to grab a fistful of it when he wants to get Willie's attention, or when he's fucking him and so forth... it's convenient to grab hold of. He can't grab hold of the extreme flattop, no way! I listened to all Willie's concerns for two days and then I timidly said, "I know you're going to be mad at me, Willie, but I can't go to Maine. I need to work, I can't get off." Willie began the discussion by stating, "I'm not going to be mad at you Dylan because you are going. Not going isn't an option." The argument went on from there and lasted for a few days.

We'd argue about it for a while and Willie would say, "Enough. You're going, and that's that." So, I'd change the subject, but without giving in. Finally, he had to give in... he was forced to believe that I'd tried my best, but couldn't get my Mom's permission to go. The reason being... the money I earned was needed to help pay the rent. I told him that sorry-ass story and others like that. Another tale was... I'd be fired if I took anymore time off... blah, blah, blah... in other words I continued my role as a pathological liar. In the end, Willie was silent for thirty seconds, and finally said, "OK then, you aren't going. It pisses me off and I'm wicked disappointed in you. It also means you owe me a really big "something" to make up for this disappointment... I don't know what it will be yet, but you owe me. OK?" I said, "Sure Willie, we're a team, dude. You and me. Remember, I'm the one who's always talking about compromising. You gave in on the Maine trip and now it's my turn... I'll need to do something to make up for not going. Fair enough." I was really relieved to get that cleared up. Fact is, I could get a Saturday off to spend in Maine, but I don't want to. I have very little interest in Carl, and zero interest in Larry... why do I need those two? I have my boyfriend Willie who does better sex on me then either of them. Plus, that stupid discipline and dominance crap for two days... forget about it! This is another example of Willie giving in to me, I mean what choice did he have when you get right down to it, but he did admit defeat. I was worried a little that he might pull one of those "I'm going to dump you" threats... then I might need to reconsider, but he never resorted to that. Willie pulled that "dump me" threat once in Sea Isle City and it did work that time... that's sort of what got me to acknowledge that he was the dominant figure in our relationship. Since then it's been compromise, compromise, compromise. So, I respect that, and as a consequence, once in awhile I'll do one of those "would it be OK with you, Willie, if I do______?" fill in the blank. That makes Willie feel like he actually is "in charge" because, you know, I kind of asked permission to do some silly innocuous thing. Little things like that make him happy enough to allow his ego to give in on something that really matters to me... like the Maine thing. I was proud my plan was working.

It's not like I'm being sneaky just to be sneaky, I'm doing all I can to slowly, slowly, slowly, show Willie, in tiny baby-steps, that we don't need the "dominant concept" in our love affair, we simply don't need it. He'll come to see that in time, and in the meantime I'm in love with him and looking forward to our Tuesday night date which he says is going to be some kind of block party in the Cambridge gayborhood that he hangs out in. They block off the street and have a party... it should be fun to be with all those friendly gay guys. There'll be some lesbians and straights there too, but mostly young gay guys. What could be better! Willie continues to introduce me to gay guys, of all different ages too... it's how I'm learning the gay life style. I love being in it, but I couldn't do it without my boyfriend. He makes it fun so I don't care if he insist on playing the "guy's" role at times while he has me playing the "girl's" role... you know, like it might be in Willie's unique concept of dating from some sort of nineteen-fifties black and white movie... the girl has a long skirt with bobby socks on and the boy, who's holding her hand, has a flattop haircut and a bow tie and white shirt, or some such shit like that, real corny. It's a riot, it doesn't bother me, and like I said, it's a game, it's fun. Well, it's fun with that Cambridge guys, it wouldn't be fun at the Mall where I know straight kids from high school... that wouldn't do. See what I mean? There's a time and a place.

Those are some of the things I contemplated about during the long ride home. Another thing was the extent to which Chubby and I had come together in an intimate way during vacation. It was probably the sleeping together in each other's arms that loosened Chubby up, and it also helped that we'd been exposed to the Dickers brother's doing their quick kiss on the lips together, but even more than those two things, showering together was the real catalyst to intimacy... the hugging under the shower spray and the exaggerated way of jerking each other off. There's also the little kisses on the side of the head and finally the kiss on the lips in the shower that I instigated our last night together. We even had tender moments together without hardly touching, when we were just talking... Chubby maybe squeezing my hand quickly or I'd squeeze the back of his neck. Stuff like that. All our lives we've been intimate to a degree and that eventually developed into things like the leg shaving and his humping of my leg while watching TV together, as well as, other thing like me allowing him to do his foot fetish on my feet and things like that. But, even so, I've never felt this close to Chubby before. I've always loved him like a brother, but lately it's been different. It all stems back to my acceptance of my gay nature... and from there, the way that acceptance is leading Chubby and me, and maybe Robbie and me, closer and closer together... it's fascinating. Me and Chubby or me and Robbie... be still my heart! Is that from Shakespeare?

Riding in the back of the Volvo with my ipod headphones in my ears, listening to CD after CD, watching the world go by, and thinking those thoughts when, all of a sudden, my mind does a sharp u-turn and I begin remembering Chubby's bowlegged walk. The incident from last Sunday... the odd walk allegedly caused by a pulled muscle in his buttock. I don't know for sure what happened, but I 'think' I know. I walked like that myself a couple of times. Chubby had the entire twelve hour bus ride back from Framingham to think about what had happened to him... what had actually caused the bowlegged walking and the groans of discomfort. That might have been a very bad ride, or maybe it was twelve hours of good thoughts like the thoughts I had after Carl had fucked me a couple of times in the same afternoon. I walked bowlegged after that, but I had good thoughts about the long second fucks he did on me... many of Carl's long second fucks had my ass so strained and sore it was difficult to walk, but the memory of how hot it had been, the climaxes I'd had, made it all seem worthwhile. That was early in my gay days, and the sex was a new thrill, one that beat all other thrills for me. I can think of quite a few unflattering things about fat Carl, but I need to admit he fucked me super fine. So, maybe Ricky, and whoever else, is fucking Chubby super fine too, maybe I'm wasting my time feeling sorry for him. That doesn't actually seem right in Chubby's case though, he was grumpy and moody as hell when he got back from Framingham last Sunday... he didn't seem to be basking in how hot the sex was. That situation is also complicating something I was going to do. I really want to tell Chubby I'm gay, but that's become a complicated thing now because, what if Chubby is actually taking it up his ass and hating it so much... then I tell him I'm gay, maybe he'll transfer some of that hate of Ricky fucking him towards me somehow. Life is complicated!

It was getting dark as we approached the Mass Pike... yeah! finally back in Massachusetts... I needed to think of some positive things again. OK, here's something... now I've got two friends who will do anything for me, not only Chubby, but also Willie. They'll both be there for me no matter what and that's something to feel good about. Also, Robbie is a good friend and so is that unpredictable Dodger. So, these are positive thoughts. Friends are awesome! They make you feel special and I haven't felt special for a lot of my life... well, except when Chubby tells me what a great best friend to him I am. That has always been very, very special, but "best friend" and "boyfriend/lover" are very different concepts.. so, to finally have both is even more special. And now that I've mentioned Robbie, the massages that will take start back up on Monday morning is a hot thought, something else positive to think about... how cool are those hot massages! I've really missed them, and I've missed Robbie as well, so I have that to look forward to. During the entire nine hour ride whenever the negative thoughts of Joel or Jake popped into my head I simply refused to dwell on them... ditto, the Marine. I put them off limits for the whole endless ride.

It wasn't actually endless though because, finally, here we were... outside our condo. I did my share of the unloading and then did Chubby's share too. I'd promised him to do all the unloading because the Moms did all the driving. They were grateful for not needing to help, didn't even argue about it... just, "Thank you, Dylan, honey. That's so sweet of you". They went in and had a gin and tonic while I sweated with the unloading. After that I took a shower while entertaining thoughts of staying awake until Chubby got home. No way for me to know what time he'd be here, but I'll try to stay up as late as possible. Out of the shower, I turned on MTV in the basement family room and then called Willie on my cell phone. He was at a pool party that one of his Prep school friends was throwing. I could hear all the chatter in the background as well as music and, over top of everything, yelling and water splashing as people jumped in the pool. Willie was very upbeat, after he described the pool-party scene he gushed, "I wish you were here with me, Dylan. We could dance and swim and make-out and I'd have you cuming in your pants again, and we'd have the greatest time!" He went on talking dirty for a bit, but then he got sentimental and said I'd ruined him for other boys because now when he ogles them, he compares them to me, and he loses interest in them because they're not hot enough. I said, "Oh, tell me more". It wasn't a gay party, mostly straights actually, but he never thinks about that one way or another, he was just jabbering away like he loves to do. I could hear kids coming up to him and talking to him, asking him who he's talking to or asking him to tell so and so the joke about this or that. It occurred to me that Willie is popular, in his own way, at Prep school. And that brought back all the questions about why he let Larry dominant him so.

I was on the phone with him for over an hour. He introduced me as his boyfriend to a couple of kids he called his "special straight friends" and they took the phone, one by one, to say "wassup?" and stuff like that. It reminded me that Willie was totally "Out" about being gay... he seemed relaxed about everything and I admired him so much for all that. We said goodbye only when his cell started loosing power and for the first time I said this, and really meant it, "I love you, Willie. Can't wait till Tuesday." He said, "It won't be long, baby. You know I love you. Call me tomorrow, OK?" and his line was static filled at the end, but we heard each other fine. I felt so excited about finally telling Willie I loved him, telling him, "I'm in love with you". It was a very nice conversation and I'd been casually playing with my penis the entire time and when, at the end, I got emotional and told him I loved him, my cock grew so hard, so fast, I had trouble catching my breath. After saying goodbye, I stiff-legged into the half bath and masturbated, taking deep breaths, thinking about Willie fucking me. My foreskin was really flying back and forth over the wet head of my boner. I stared at it thinking how nice it looked and then I thought about Willie and me having boners together in the shower and how much longer his looked then mine and how all seven-plus inches of his would be pushed up my asshole and how Willie would fuck me in all our favorite different positions. Closing my eyes and seeing his cute face with the freckles at the bridge of his nose and his beautiful smile I thought about how fantastic it was to be fucked by someone who loves me and I got hotter and hotter, my hand a blur on my boner as I mummured, "Willie... I love you Willie". I squirmed back up against the sink with points of light flashing behind my eyes, then moaning, "It feels so good" humping my crotch time after time until I was squealing to myself in that little half bath, saying Willie's name, smelling his smell, remembering how rough he is sometimes when he's fucking me.... oh god, this feels sooooo good, and then that spectacular overwhelming feeling in my groin and the head of my cock, I bit my bottom lip and... Oh my God, did I ever shoot out a load of cum! it was a hard stream of creamy teen cum splattering against the door. I hadn't wacked off for almost two days, what with Willie gone and Chubby in Framingham. Damn! That felt so good! Jesus, I kept squeezing my boner tightly and my nuts pushed up a little more cum and a little more after that... it all had me gasping for air and then, there it was... that great after climax lull where everything was so fine. Awesome, but I still wished Willie were here with me.

Back in the recliner after cleaning up... I felt dizzy and real tired, but I also had a satisfied feeling. It was a good climax and of late I've been associating all the really hot sexual feelings I've had to Willie as the reason my jerking-off climaxes have been so excellent. Actually, gay sex and Willie, in my eyes, have become pretty much one and the same. But, no matter how nice my thoughts were, my eyes wouldn't stay open for me to contemplate them for very long, I was too tired. Later, with a stiff neck I opened one eye and saw the time on the TV... one o'clock in the morning. My first thought upon waking wasn't about gay sex and Willie... it was about Chubby. Is he home yet? Is he walking bowlegged like last Sunday? Is he pissed-off and grumpy. I crept up the stairs... all was eerily silent and dark. Looking out the front window, and there was that piece-of-shit SUV of Ricky's at the curb... exhaust coming out of it's tailpipe. Am I imagining this or is that fucking car rocking slightly? I was crazy thirsty which I think is what woke me... I needed something to drink badly so I crept back into the kitchen, open the refrigerator and grabbed an ice cold can of coke. Drinking it while at the window again, spying on that SUV. Five minutes and I'm done the coke, ten minutes and I've got to pee badly. I don't want to miss Chubby getting out of the van so I try holding it in. Damn! Fifteen minutes and I'm gonna pee my boxers so I hurry to my bathroom and pee as fast as I can, but pee can take awhile, and it won't be rushed. With pee drips staining the front of my boxers I scurry back toward the window hearing a car door slam before I pulled the certain back, and then I see Chubby waving goodbye to, I guess, Rickie.

Chubby doesn't seem upset, I see his white teeth shining in the street light, he's smiling. What the hell? Running back to my bedroom I grab a pair of basketball shorts and my Marlboro Lights and get ready to act casual, like I couldn't sleep and was just stepping outside for a smoke. Pulling on the shorts, I open my front door and as soon as I step out Chubby says, "Dylan! Hi! What luck!" I go, "Oh, Chubby dude. You can't be just getting home, can you?" He was in a great mood and after taking my offer of a cigarette and lighting it, he explains he'd just finished straightening out everything with Rickie and things should be better now, going forward. "Oh yeah, what things?" I asked. Chubby goes, "Technical window washing matters" and I casually say, "Ah, Chubby... there isn't anything "technical" about washing a window". Chubby says, "How come we're not sharing a cigarette like we always do?" I go, "I don't know".

************* DYLAN'S DILEMMA PART 10 *************

Chapter two

Looking each other in the eyes and then, at the same instant, blowing exhaled smoke in each other's face while smirking at one another... just glad to be together again, goofing around. Then I took a chance of pissing him off by repeating my question, "What things, exactly, did you and Rickie straighten out?" Chubby didn't get mad, instead he told me there were technique adjustments necessary considering the length of time in between washings, or if screens are left on the windows year round, or when there are trees near the house, etc. These things dictate when and what is used to get a professionally clean window, Rickie and he had a difference of opinion about such matters... and about other things too, but he wasn't going to try to train me as a window washer tonight. He said even more importantly he had come to an understanding that he, Chubby, was simply going to do certain things that in the past he resisted doing. Chubby mentioned he needed to accept doing everything Rickie's way... that's what it came down to. Also, Chubby hadn't been respecting Rickie and Rickie's position as the boss of their work crew. Chubby had finally agreed to do exactly what Rickie wanted, the way Rickie wanted it. "In other words, Dylan, I stopped being a jackass and accepted that Rickie is in charge of me. We had a long talk in the SUV tonight right outside the condo here. It was kinda difficult at first for me to look up to him and accept his criticism because Rickie and I are the same age, we're classmates... but fuck, he's my boss and I've got to do what he tells me . I admitted to Rickie that he was right, and I was wrong." Chubby took a drag off his cigarette looking over to see if I had anything to say to any of this. I had nothing to say... I can't think of stuff on the spot. Later tonight I'll think, "Damn, I should have said this or that..." So, nothing I could think to say, but I did think this in my head, "Chubby's entire explanation sounded like a convoluted bunch of double-talk. Which is another way of saying... a crock of shit." Sure, there was some truth in there somewhere, but most of it was the rationalized BS I'm so familiar with from Chubby.

I was standing in front of him with a puzzled frown on my face, Chubby took a deep breath and quietly said, almost whining, almost desperate that I approve, "Hell Dylan, I had to admit to myself that Rickie's tough approach to me kind of broke my resistance down... he was gonna fire me at one point so I just totally let loose of my ego and said... Please don't Rickie. I'll do everything you want, the way you want it done. I just gave in to him, Dylan, and I feel much better for it too, better then I've felt in a month. I'm relieved. It's one of those things where I was making it harder on myself than it had to be...and harder on everyone else too. What the fuck was the point of trying to fight city hall, so ta speak. Rickie has what I need, that ten dollar and fifty cent an hour job. There aren't too many jobs like that around for us kids, ya know? Just give in to the inevitable is what I decided. Rickie says I'll still need to do some make-up, er... ya know, extra stuff to make-up for my past defiances, but after that, if I do what I'm told, it should work out better for everyone and I get to keep my job." Chubby did an ironic chuckle and added, "What the fuck, I always ended up doing what I didn't want to do anyway, so now I'll just avoid the extra, er, stuff I got for disobeying. Ya know?" No, I didn't know, but I wasn't going to say that right now. Instead I was thinking, this is weird... Chubby doesn't like authority figures, so him making one out of Rickie is hard to figure out... and again, there's the fact that Chubby is the fucking king of rationalization so I don't know what's bullshit and what's the truth. Did he finally just accept that he needs to do what his boss tell him, or is this all about some kind of forced gay sex, is it more about the gay sex then it's about window washing techniques ... or, is it something else all together?

Chubby flicked his cigarette butt high off the telephone pole across the street and I followed with a flick of my butt that went off the side of Chubby's cargo shorts. Without comment, he adroitly flicked it into the gutter with the toe of his sneaker. I said, "If you don't mind me asking, what are these, so called, "make up" penalty things you need to do, the penalties for defying Rickie?" Chubby goes, "Oh no Dylan, you're not going to spoil my positive outlook by trying to find fault with Rickie's methods. I'm on board with Rickie one hundred percent now, I can handle it just as I have in the past and I gave him my word so that's, that... save the cynicism for another topic. I'm good, dude! I'm looking at things more positively for once, and I simply don't want to get into any particulars with you ... that wouldn't serve any purpose. I can handle what I need to do, and that's all you need to know." I hugged him around the neck and pulled his head next to mine to say, "It sounds kind of awful Chubby, I'm worried about you." He goes, "No need to worry, I can handle this, and guess what... Ricky told me if I keep up this new, positive attitude, he'll keep me on part time when school starts up. That's important to you and me because we'll need to finance the car we buy, and that means monthly payments... and don't forget the price of gas too. Me keeping this job part-time during the school year goes a long way toward making all that possible. And, here's something you need to consider. There are always openings at the start of a school year for bag boys at Super Stop and Shop. Get your application in now and you can help with the payments too. Ya can't cut grass in the winter." Chubby was upbeat and excited for once so what would be the point of questioning him further. Whatever is between Chubby and Rickie is staying between Chubby and Rickie... for now. I told Chubby I'd fill-out an application at Stop and Shop this very week.

Chubby was tired so he headed for the door saying, "This was a good thing tonight, between me and Rickie. I had to swallow a lot of pride, but I did the right thing... I'm sure I did. Hell, next year at this time we'll be getting ready to start college, window washing will be left to that pric... I mean, to my boss, Rickie. You and me will be off to college. So, it's only for the next year at the most that I'll need to do it for him... you know, wash windows." I thought, "More rationalization... he sounds like he's trying to convince himself, more then me." I didn't say that to him though. Instead I changed the subject and said, "Chub, it's still vacation ya know. We should do our Wildwood sleeping-together routine one last time, to say farewell to this great vacation." Chubby stopped in his tracks and turns around slowly, then takes a deep breath and says, real seriously, "Dylan, that's another thing I promised myself I'd take care of and I might as well do it now. I was thinking about this on the bus Friday. I've led you down a shaky path with all our goofing around stuff... showering together and, you know... the other stuff. It's my fault for encouraging you to do that stuff. I've always been the touch/feely kid and you have always been reluctant go along with it, but you do it for me. You're the best friend ever and that's what I want us to always be, best friends... my encouraging you with our pretend homo stuff just isn't fair to you. It's a fun goofy thing for me, but it's not right because you're too sincere, always trying to make me happy, which is nice, but ya take the stuff too seriously. I could cry sometimes the way you do things for me... you really think too highly of me Dylan, you really do. Hey man, I'm so far from perfect it's pathetic. Fuck, I'll warp your pure mind if you let me, Dylan. We're almost in our senior year of High School, it's past time to put that kiddie play away. Believe me, you do not want to get involved in any serious homo shit. Take my word for that. OK? We'll still do our shaving until school starts, but that's it. And, no sleeping together like we did when we were nine years olds, hugging each other and all." He laughed, ran the palm of his hand over my head and added, "We'll always be the best friends ever. Hey, your hair is growing in a little, almost feels soft again... that's good. Dude, I need some sleep, bad! We can talk about this in the morning, if you want. Here, give me one of our world famous goodnight hugs."

In shock, I said nothing... we hugged and he went up the steps to his condo. I walked into mine like I was in a trance. Where did all that come from? How did we get from that kiss on the lips in the shower Thursday all the way back down to almost nothing. Chubby wants to go back to just the shaving, and that only till school starts. Christ, we were doing occasional mutual jerk offs even before Wildwood and now we've regressed our level of intimacy back to pre, pre, Wildwood days. That's just fucking great! Shit! The sleeping together, I knew that was temporary. We haven't done hardly any of that for three or four years now. It's just because we had only the one bed in our room in Wildwood that we got to sleep together. Oh fuck, this is how things tend to go with me... when too many things are going right, something just has to go wrong. There's some natural law that prevents me from being too happy. Thank God I got Willie. I wonder if it could be that Chubby thinks... since he's become Rickie's "boy" now, which makes him feel like shit, and so he feels he needs to build-up his self image a little by saving me from debauchery. Oh brother, what a theory that is. Truth is I don't have enough experience to guess what might be going on. I don't think it's pretty though, whatever it is.

Taking off my shorts, I brushed my teeth again and crawled into bed. I'd already had three hours sleep earlier tonight so I lay there awhile trying to sort it out and came up with some more theories, but what good are they? Maybe I'll find out more tomorrow, but I'll bet ya that tomorrow Chubby isn't going to want to talk about any of this. His deal with Rickie, whatever the fuck it is, will have "sunk in" by tomorrow and Chubby probably will be less than pleased about what he had to agree to. The hell with it for now though. Instead, I thought about Willie and starting at the top of his silly flattop haircut I visualized him inch by inch, down his head and then down his slim body. I remember visualizing his belly button last, so I must have fallen asleep about then... probably grinning. Willie is so cool.

Next morning I was the first one up. I did my bathroom duties and then snuck up to Chubby's. Got the key from under the doormat, no one would think to look there for it, heh heh... opened their door and crept into Chubby's room. There he was, looking like he was thirteen years old. The side of his cute face resting on his hands which he had in the prayer position, his slim body in the fetal position under just a sheet... the thin summer blanket in a ball at the foot of his bed. Deep, steady breathing. I leaned over him to enjoy the sexy odor raising with the heat from his body. I wanted to kiss his forehead like you might do to a sleeping child, but I didn't. I went to the other side of the bed and crawled under the covers just like I'd done two weeks ago. I had to hold my breath because it excited me to be next to him again like this. We'd had the best part of two weeks in Wildwood sleeping together... I missed it so much. Not daring to touch him this time because of last night's lecture, my goal was to get myself as close to his body, without actually touching him, but still sharing his pillow... ah, very nice. I longed to be the way we were the past two weeks. It hurts more to have had it, and then lose it, rather than never ever having it in the first place... whatever "it" is. For me, "it" was being wrapped in Chubby's arms, wearing only our underpants. The feel of the smooth skin on his arms, body, legs... oh, please! that was so hot! No surprise that laying next to him right then I got a wicked hard boner. Played with my boner for a bit and then I actually dozed off because the next thing I knew Chubby was up on his elbow next to me, shaking me. I opened my eyes and Chubby, red-faced, was saying, "We just agreed last night not to do this kind of thing anymore... just last night we agreed!" I said sheepishly, "I wasn't doing anything." He lightened up some and goes, "Oh, I know. I'm sorry I yelled, but we're quits with all that stuff, right?" I asked, "Well, why do we have to be quits, we're not hurting anyone or anything. It's fun to be with you, you know... hugging or what not."

Chubby got up, I noticed he had himself a semi-boner... trying to keep the semi away from my view, fat chance of that, he went into his bathroom calling out, "You're too vulnerable, Dylan. You take things too seriously, I already told you that. I'm goofing around and you interpret it as the way we should act, rather then... we're just acting like that as a "goof". Ya know? There's a huge difference." I heard his pee hitting the toilet water and a minute later his electric toothbrush starts up. I go, "If I promise not to take it seriously, can we go back to our old ways... like in Wildwood?" Finished brushing, Chubby comes back in his bedroom, without the semi-boner, and says, "Nah, it's best we break away from the kid stuff and move on. We'll keep working our jobs, get our drivers license, finance a nice used car... a convertible if you want, and we'll be seniors in high school getting ready for college... and we won't be twelve year olds playing with our peckers." He chuckled, making sort of a joke out of it as he added, "I already told ya all that stuff is my fault. You were the sensible one all along, why the change?" I told him I'd come around to his way of thinking. "Ever since that fight that put you in the hospital, Chubby, well... I've come to appreciate you more and, well, physical contact is a good thing, it's very therapeutic". Chubby goes, "Hey, you're good, Dude, that's compelling rap, but I don't buy it. You're too impressionable and I've mislead you. Now I want to fix it." I said, "It ain't broke" and he says, "It was listing badly" and I say, "What the fuck does that mean?" giving up on the argument, for now. Chubby wanted to take a shower and then he wanted to skip the regular Sunday breakfast for the Moms, "Instead Dylan, how's about you get four breakfast sandwiches... egg, ham, and cheese on English muffins at Dunkin Donuts. We'll have them with coffee. Please, buddy." So off I go to put on some shorts and a Tee and then to get our breakfast. No sense in wasting time flipping a coin, I always lose anyhow.

On the sidewalk, just outside our condo, I hear. "Hey, slick! Hold up." Turning around and there's Jake swaggering towards me. "What the fuck did you do to your hair now, ya ducebag? Christ kid, you're one of the lucky ones, like me, we got great hair, but you keep getting more and more ridiculous haircuts every fucking time I see you. What's up with that? Here, show me some love, Dylan." He was right in front of me with his arms out-stretched like he expected a big hug. "Come on kid, don't leave he hanging like this!" I go, "Oh, Morning Mr... ah, Jake" He's wiggling his finger like... come on, let's hug... so I stepped into him lightly and barely put my arms around him. He gets me in a big bear hug twisting me around slightly to the right, and left, and then right, saying, "Mmmm, you smell good, dude. Bet your boyfriend likes that smell... although, I'm not at all sure he'll like this fucking haircut too much." Even with my head crushed against his shoulder I could smell alcohol on his breath. "You are one good looking kid, alright. Anyone ever tell ya that, Dylan?" I talked into his shoulder, "Oh, thank you, Jake. I believe you mentioned that very thing to me any number of times the first time we met.. it was inside the condo." Jake let loose of the hug, but got an arm around my neck in a semi headlock, put his face down to almost touch mine and said, "You can't help yourself, can ya? You always got to be a smartass, a wiseass punk, don't ya? I'm trying to be nice to you kid, and what do I get from you, huh?" He tightened his hold on my neck until it hurt, I murmured, "I'm, sorry Jake, I swear to God I wasn't trying to be a smartass. I was answering your question." Jake licked my forehead, then with his free hand pinched my nostrils together so hard tears ran out of my eyes. He casually said, as he kept the pressure on my nose, "So, you weren't being a smartass... OK, that's good because I wouldn't want to have to smack you around a little bit and then tell Mommy about you being queer and all. Now would I?"

Mucus was filling up my nose and the tears wouldn't stop. I wasn't crying, it hurt, but I wasn't crying... it's just that tears run out of my eyes whenever they feel like it. I have no control over them. I talked in that nasal way you talk when your nose is stopped up, or when it's being brutally pinched, "Please, Jake... please! That hurts and I didn't mean any disrespect to you." He liked that and let go of my nose, mucus ran down to my lip, than around my lip to both sides of my mouth. My face was wet with mucus and tears. Jake got a tight hold on the back of my neck and shook me a little, "You're kind of a pussy, ain't ya? Listen, the reason I'm here... I'll cut to the chase fer ya". He badly slurred his words as he took out a wrinkled handkerchief from his back pocket and wiped my face. It scratched because of the dried matter on it. I stood perfectly still and used my willpower to keep from gaging. He goes, "Reason I'm here, I need that fucking suitcase cause I got to go to Vermont this afternoon for business... a fucking overnight trip, two nights as a matter of fact. I worked all night last night and I got to go to fucking Vermont today cause that's what the boss lady says, the cunt, ya know. So, I had a few quick pops of VO and ginger over the allnight "Teaderman Club" and when I figured you people were up, I came for my suitcast because the cunt says I got a business trip to Vermont." He swayed a little putting the handkerchief back in his pocket, but kept a tight grip on the back of my neck. We were maybe two yards from the bottom of the steps leading up to the condo.

One would have to think Jake had more than a "few pops" at that club... he appeared quite drunk. I said, "I'll go get it right now, Mr... Ah, Jake." Still with a hold on my neck he started walking toward my front steps as if he were going with me to get the suitcase, but he stumbled and dragged me a few paces away from the steps, near the side of the building. "Oh, must have stepped on something" Jake says, and then straightens up, looks around like he's lost, looks at me with a tough expression on his face and says, "Ya know what I want to do, well, one of the things I want to do evey fucking time I see you? Do ya?" I go, "No, what?" and he got hold of my face with both hands and twists my face toward his and kissed my mouth with a big wet kiss. His tongue worked it's way inside my mouth as I squirmed trying to get away. His tongue was quite nice... firm, but not hard, and he knew how to do the little movements Willie did with his tongue. I was squirming and pushing against his chest with my hands and consequently the kiss didn't last long, but it was intense. When I got my head away, and our mouths separated, and I thought it was over, he darted his head back for another kiss, but he missed my mouth and kissed my nose instead, leaving it wet with boozy spit. Jake stepped back then, looking dazed as if he couldn't believe what just happened. His pants poked out some in front. Probably only a semi-boner, he was too drunk for a full boner.

I stared at him, but he had no fight left. I said, "I'll get that suitcase for ya, Jake." He waved his hand like I should run along as he fished a crumpled back of cigarettes from his pocket. My heart was pounding because I'd been afraid of him at first, now I could see how pathetic he was. No, I wasn't feel sorry for him... I wasn't afraid of him anymore, that's all. Up in our condo, Mom was still sleeping. The suitcase was in the living room so I grabbed it, thinking, "Guess I don't have to worry about Jake Rollins anymore. That grope and kiss he laid on me has turned the tables again. Now I got more on him then he's got on me. Fuck you, Jake!" Down the steps I lugged that suitcase, the wheels didn't do me too much good on the steps. Dropping it in front of Jake, he says, "How bout putting that in the car for me, Dylan." He'd really lost all his bluster by now. I rolled it down to his Saab, which Jake had parked with the front right wheel up on the curb, and stuffed the suitcase in the back seat. Jake was right behind me. He grabbed my shoulder and I shrugged his hands off me and said, "That's enough of that shit Mr Rollins!" He backed-up a step and held his hands up away from him a little to show he meant no harm. He goes, "OK, OK you win stud. Now I can't tell on you because I could then tell you on me, right?" His drunken mind had that fucked-up a little bit, but I knew what he meant to say and so did he. I started to turn and he goes, "Wait a minute, Dylan. I apologize, here... get yourself something and don't be too hard on ol' Jake" and he fumbled out a twenty dollar bill and tucked it in the front of my Tee shirt. I stared at him and maybe I did feel a little bit sorry for him then, but I didn't say anything. Just stood there as he bumbled into his car, backed up, coming a fraction of an inch from a telephone pole, and then took off with a tiny tire squeal. He never looked back.

Scratch that worry off my list. Jake Rollins is no longer a problem, thanks to him. These bullies are sad cases. This incidence gave me some resolve in dealing with Joel who might be a problem for me tomorrow at work. I'm not going to back down any more. If I take a beating, so be it. I walked down to get our breakfast while rubbing the back of my wrist against my mouth and nose to scrub away Jake's saliva. The Dunkin Donut bill for four breakfast sandwiches, four home fries, and four regular coffees was more than the twenty dollars Jake had given me, but it covered a lot of it. I'd added the home fries to our breakfast menu in honor of Jake's donation. Back at the condo, everyone was moving around by now. Orange juice was out and 92.5 was on the FM dial and I was the hero for buying all the food. I told Mom about Mr Rollins picking-up his suitcase earlier... "He didn't want to wake ya Mom. Some sort of unexpected business trip." She was disappointed, she had wanted to call him later this morning and maybe the two of them could go into Boston for a late lunch. I looked interested, keeping a friendly expression on my face as I thought, "That would be some lunch date. Jake would probably be barfing up his clam chowder." I kept silent though. A guy who gets drunk in the morning, like Jake did, is a problem drinker. Mom will notice that trait sooner or later and he'll be history.

After breakfast I called Willie and got a shock. His voice was so hoarse I could hardly understand him. He told me he had been feeling sick yesterday when we talked, but he didn't want to say anything about it, hoping it would pass. Then this morning he woke up with a killer sore throat and a fever. He'd already been to an emergency doctor who took a throat culture which indicated Willie has strep throat. Our Tuesday date is off, but according to Willie we're going out Saturday even if he's still sick because the following weekend he'll be in Maine. He couldn't talk much because it hurt his throat and his head to talk. Willie sounded so weak, not like he usually is at all. He asked me not to call until Friday when he hoped he'd feel better. I said, "I'm so sorry you're sick, Willie. I love you so much. Just wanted you to know, I love you Willie and I can't wait till friday when I can talk to you again." He was quiet for a bit, coughed and whispered, "That's the best medicine I could have, Dylan. Thank you for saying that. You know how much I love you. Bye." After he hung up I lay back on the bed and let it sink in that I really was in love. It hurt some because I wanted to be with him. Jumping off the bed I went to my computer and wrote him a long email... well, actually it was a mushy love letter telling him how important he is in my life, and how much I love him, and how grateful I am that he picked me to be his boyfriend, and how I look up to him, and how I want to follow his lead because I admire him so much. After I hit "send" I had second thoughts that maybe I over did it in the email, but I had all these emotions going around in my head and it just seemed Willie was the best thing I had going for me at the moment. Actually, I felt like a teenaged girl with a wicked crush on the captain of the football team. I love him... but, I mean, Willie is so much more sophisticated then me, has done so many more things, is totally comfortable in either the gay or the straight world... so, I love him, but I guess he's also kind of like my idol too. I felt like crying because I needed to wait until Saturday before seeing him again, feeling him inside me, being with him. It's already been a week since I saw him the last time, that great weekend in Sea Isle City.

Chubby came down from his place calling for me, he was in running shorts and he wanted to run. I thought that would be a good way to get my mind off Willie so I put on some shorts and sneakers and away we went. We ran without talking for awhile as I tried getting a grip on my emotions about Willie... Chubby was contemplating something too, God only knows what. Then, when I tried to bring up the discussion from last night, Chubby, with a grin, goes, "Oh God! Dylan, you're like a fucking nag. We covered every possible angle of that topic last night." I just nodded my head to myself... last night he'd said we could talk about it today all I wanted. I knew he wouldn't want to though. Some time in the future I'll find out the whole story, but for now Chubby is in a good mood so I'll enjoy that. Just before the cut-off for the rest area I saw a stocky kid jogging oddly in the opposite direction. He was running as if his ass hurt and I'm thinking, The Marine! The kid was late teens, Ok looking, although not really what ya'd call cute. Something about the way he moved made me thing "gay". So I'd already thought "Marine" and now I'm thinking "gay teen" which might add-up to... the Marine has himself another "boy". I say to Chubby, "Ya gotta pee or anything? We can hit the rest area." Chubby's winded and just mumbled, "yeah"... so we make the turn-off and, half way up the path, here comes the Marine. I say to Chubby, "Go ahead, I want to ask this guy something" and Chubby just nods his head and keeps going.

Stopping a little ways in front of Tom, he sees me, slows down and stops in front of me to say, "So, my ex, best, most favorite gay boy, Dylan. Is your computer broken?" I go, "No, it's not. I've been on vacation for the last two weeks in New Jersey, but that's not why I didn't email you. Was that a friend of your's I saw down the trail a ways? Stocky, ponytailed kid." The Marine says, "Yeah, he's your replacement. See why I valued you so much?" I said, "I was new to sex when you first met me and now I'm not. You took advantage of me then, but no more. I'm all grown-up already. No hard feelings, I learned things from you, but now I know that you're too old and too dominant for my liking. See ya!" and I jogged to the rest area without looking back. He never said another word, but the tense expression he had didn't look promising. He looked barely under control, as in... pissed-off! I was disrespecting him in his eyes, but... Hey! How about people disrespecting me, does that count too? Huh? I know, I'm getting cocky, but it's the mood I'm in. I got my boyfriend who I don't mind taking a back seat to, but I'm done being a second class citizen in everyday life. It's possible to disrespect me too, ya know... especially when I respect myself first, and I'm doing that now. Oh, hell... I'm probably going off the deep end here. Fake macho self-indulgence or something. There are things going on that have me all shook up... like I'm so disappointed Chubby and me are headed in the wrong direction with the intimacy thing, and, on the other hand, a good thing... the way that Jake situation worked-out to my benefit so easily, and just now blowing the Marine off... that was another good thing. Not that I had much to do with either of those things happening the way they did. Oh hell, just a bunch of odd stuff going on in my life at the moment, that's all... it's all making me act uncharacteristically like a tough guy. Oh fuck! It's probably mostly the thing with Chubby that has me acting like a tiger. It had all been just a tease in Wildwood... our intimacy, my hopes started building up... now it's all lost and it hurts. But, like I said, I got my boyfriend Willie who I love and can depend on. I'll lean on Willie for support.

I was sitting on the bench thinking these mixed-up thoughts when Chubby came out of the lavatory wanting to know what I'd said to that "hard looking guy". I gave him a short lie about me needing to run alone right after he, Chubby, had gotten his window washing job and this guy was always there when I ran and I hadn't seen him for awhile and how I just wanted to say, "Hi, wassups". Chubby stared at me with a smirk on his face, then blurted out a laugh and said, "You're lying again, dude. Jeez, you're funny." That was it. We jogged on and I'm thinking, "Would I let that go so easily if the roles were reversed?" Chubby just says, "Ha! liar!" and that's it, he doesn't press for the details.... weird. That afternoon we watched a baseball game in the recliner together, but Chubby wasn't pressed up against my side and he did not hump my leg or want to massage my feet. I assume he's getting that stuff satisfied elsewhere. This turn of events sucks!

***************** DYLAN'S DILEMMA PART 10 ******************

Chapter three

Monday morning and back to work. I missed seeing Chubby this morning because he's turning over a new leaf at work... he's starting it off today by being the first one on the job. Good for him, I think. My usual bus had the usual suspects on it, we nodded to one another, I hit fist with my hospital worker friend, and then I sat in my usual seat in the back. Nice boner from the bus ride, and then it was the same familiar walk to the Dickers' building. Everything looked the same, but I still felt jumpy and apprehensive. Maybe it was concern about how I'd be handling the inevitable Joel confrontation, or maybe it was just a case of nerves on my first day back to work... almost like the way I felt on my very first day, weeks ago. I spotted the Dickers' pick-up truck and hustled through the door, all of a sudden anxious to see Robbie. First thing in the door though, I got a big hug and an ass grope from Toby who lisped he had missed me "something awful you naughty boy! Never take another vacation, I couldn't bear it. Oh my dear mother, I love that earring on you, Dylan. It's outstanding!" He's a good guy and an easy-going crew chief, so I hugged back a little. "Hi" to the other guys and then "Hi" to the college guys in the locker room who yelled at me, actually yelled at me, "From now on you're not allowed near a fucking barber shop without a note from home!" They ragged on me something terrible about my authentic flattop. Joel walked right by me without giving me a glance, my heart pounding as I watched him disappear around a corner... that was followed by a big bear hug from behind. Believe it or not, I immediately knew it was Robbie because he smelled like Robbie. I could be blindfolded and still pick certain boys out of a crowd by their smell.

"Dylan" he yelled, as I wrestled around to return his hug, face to face. It made me feel so good that Robbie was excited to see me. "I've got your coffee at my locker, Dylan. Come on back". As we headed to Robbie's locker, he says, over his shoulder, "That flattop is way too short, Dylan, do you like it?" I told him it was an unexpected and unwanted happening and then we dropped that topic to tell each other how great it was to see one another again... we said it about a half dozen times. We both were acting a little nervous and it made us do a lot of quick touching and hesitant interrupting of each other as we started to tell things to one another. Realizing just how much I missed Robbie and our mutual massages, our general closeness as buddies too, it took me by surprise, that's all. He acted shy when he asked, "Do you think we should do the massage, Dylan?" I said, "Sure, if ya want to." And I started to sit down at the same time he was sitting down, and then we both jumped up bumping into one another, and we both said, "You can go first" simultaneously. It was awkward and silly, but at the same time a little bit sweet too. I felt that nice closeness to Robbie again very quickly, it was as if we actually did have a special thing going on between us. Oh well, obviously we do... the massages are special and unusual, but I think I sensed an even deeper connection then that. Absence makes the heart grow fonder... that kind of thing, maybe. The depth of that feeling is one more thing that took me by surprise, although it was also very pleasant.

Robbie looked extra cute this morning. His beautiful complexion with the rosy blotches in his cheeks and the bright blue eyes that were so bright they seemed to be spot-lighted from behind. I'd sorta forgotten how hot Robbie is. He's got the same light blond hair I have, at the moment a lot more of it then me. His was in the original flattop style I'd had the last time he saw me. Robbie's flattop was trained perfectly to stand up off his nicely shaped head with that great natural hairline that went straight across his forehead, the flattop looking especially cool on him. His hair was longish now, it had been almost three weeks since I last cut it for him. Robbie caught me sort of gazing at him and he smiled that cute shy smile of his, the dimples came out... he has those bow shaped lips, and those white teeth, and he looks so clean, so new... I wanted to kiss his mouth or lick him, or something. We're both five feet-ten inches and slim, about one hundred thirty pounds. We have pretty much the same bodies when we're wearing T shirts, which is mostly why the college guys call us the Bobbsey twins, out general shape... well, there's that same color hair of ours too, but our faces are quite different. Same general body shape, but take the T shirts off and Robbie has all the muscle definition that I don't have, except for my biceps which are OK. He's something nice to look at.

Robbie looking back at me now with a questioning expression on his face made me snap-out of my ogling... "Sorry Robbie, you know how I space out once in a while". Then, a nervous laugh," Ha ha" followed with, "How about I do you first." He sat down and the first thing I did was massage his head of hair. You know what? I think I missed my hair. I liked the original flattop alright and I hope that's what Willie will want us to go back to. After vigorously massaging Robbie's head I smelled my hands and they screamed Robbie Dickers, and no one else. But wait, that's not true... Robbie's brother Dodger smells just like him. They're both very sexy boys. I massaged Robbie's neck and shoulders and then around to his chest and down onto his belly some, getting a little bit close to his crotch. Neither one of us has ever had, or even seen a professional massage, we just fake it and grope different parts of each other's bodies as we go along. I needed to lean over Robbie from behind to reach his belly button and the sides of our faces would rub together occasionally. His body was choice as I've said, both he and his brother have those natural athletic bodies, very toned and fun to grab and rub, pretending to massage. Moving up to his shoulders again, Robbie's head was back against my belly, his eyes closed... that boy really enjoyed his massages.

After working on his arms, always impressed with the amount of muscle he has packed under the flesh, and working my way back up to do my version of a neck massage and up the back of his head, I put my face close to his, like we do when we want to talk low for privacy, and say, "It's so great to be back doing this, Robbie. I missed you." I was right next to his face and could feel the heat come up from that pale skin which was turning bright red... he blushes easily. I couldn't help myself and touched the side of my face to his and immediately his hand came up to press against the other side of my head keeping our faces pressed together. So low I could hardly hear it, he said, "Oh, Dylan" and for the first time, I noticed his pants poking up in his lap. I thought, "Oh my god, what should I do now?" No need for me to do anything because Robbie jumped up like someone had stuck a pin in his ass and said, "Whew, that felt good, Dylan... really loosened my muscles, I've been so tense lately. You get tense like that?" I was taken aback for a second by the sharp change of emotion. All I could think was... he must have felt he'd gone too far by murmuring "Oh Dylan" and he was covering up by changing the subject. That was OK with me because I wasn't sure what to do either, but I'll be contemplating about that "Oh, Dylan" moan I heard from Robbie until I am able to think what to do.

'This is a very encouraging development' is a thought I did have. Robbie goes, "Dude, sit your ass down and let doctor Robbie take care of you now" and then "Jeez! I just noticed your earring. It's so freaking cool! Oh, I gotta get one too. Dodger's been bugging Mom to get one for months. Now I'm chiming in on that too." I basked in the glow of his latest compliment as he began a real nice massage, one unfortunately, that was cut short by the sound of the tone signifying the work day had begun. We wandered out to our pick-up truck and quickly it became a sweaty day with temperatures in the mid nineties. So hot and humid that later we ate lunch in the cab of the air-conditioned pick-up truck in three shifts. I was afraid Joel would be in the cab with me when it was my turn, but I should have know Toby would make sure it was him and me. He asked all kinds of probing questions about the "girls" in my life. He told me he was sure I had a hot sex life. Of course he was fishing, but my answers were quite vague and probably frustrating to the poor man because of how obtuse they were. I made sure to answer in a very sincere manner though... it actually became a fun game avoiding his questions. He finally lisped, "You are such an enigma, Dylan, but I'll bet you're making someone happy." I got the impression his gaydar had sensed I could be gay... he wasn't positive though, and he certainly wasn't coming on to me, but I think he knew. Just like the mohawk man had said, "something in my look gives me away to experienced gays". I've studied my face in a mirror without discovering anything along those lines... I really don't know what it is.

We were hot, sweaty, and beat-up from the heat that day, so much so that Robbie and I skipped the massages entirely after work... we both just wanted to get home to showers and the luxury of air-conditioned homes. Back at the condo Monday night Chubby was smiling and joking around while we made our dinner. He says, "Rickie told this joke at lunch.. heh, heh... it's pretty good". His joke: Arthur's doctor tells him the severe headaches he's experienced for years can be cured, but it requires castration. The doctor discovered that Arthur has a rare condition... his testicles press against his spine causing terrible headaches. After searching months for an alternative cure, Arthur very reluctantly agreed to have his testicles removed. He left the hospital without a headache for the first time in 20 years, saw a men's clothing store and decided to buy a new suit to go with his new found freedom from pain. The tailor eyed Arthur briefly and says, "size 44 long". Arthur wanted a new shirt so the tailor takes a quick look at him and says "sleeve 34, neck 16 1/2". Arthur's amazed that a quick glance is all the tailor needs to determine accurate sizes... the tailor says, "been in the business 60 years and I know my sizes". Arthur also wanted underwear so the tailor says, "size 36". Arthur goes, "Ah ha... gotcha there. I've wore size 34 since I was 18 years old." The tailor shakes his head and says, "No, you can't wear size 34. That size would press your testicles up against the base of your spine and give you one hell of a headache!"

The punch line caught me by surprise and I got a good burst of laughter. Chubby, unlike Willie, doesn't laugh at his own joke, he tells it with a dead-pan expression which really struck me funny too. Chubby goes, "Oh, Dylan, it's not that great of a joke. I could tell you anything and you'd laugh just because I told it." I said, "Well, sure, but that one was funny." It was great having Chubby in a good mood again. I guess he and Rickie really had worked out all their differences... maybe someday I'll find out what the differences were. We watched the Red Sox after dinner on the recliner together, but there wasn't much bodily contact... not like the old days. I rubbed Chubby's buzzed head and tried to pull him over next to me, but he said, "We're outgrowing that stuff, Dylan. Remember?" I said, "I don't want to outgrow it!" and Chubby makes a joke of that by going, "Wah, wah, wah... my bro misses his cuddles, does he" and then Chubby gave me a great hug. He hopped off the recliner after the hug, to end it I think, and got us a drink to share. At least we're still sharing stuff.

Tuesday morning at work, as I headed for the locker room, Joel called me over. He looked serious as always, but for the first time I also realized how young he looked too. He was a couple years older than me, and while he looked older than his age, he was actually, pretty young. Freaky muscular body though... especially his arms. I go, "Morning, Joel" and he wiggles his finger for me to come over to the alcove he was standing in... he'd been waiting for me, is what it it looked like. I took the four steps over to him as he stared at me with this tough-guy look. He goes, "OK, I like that haircut. I'll want it taken down shorter in the front, but then it will be acceptable." He ran his fingers through my hair with one hand and held my shoulder with the other. I thought to myself... "Admit it, he scares you". This isn't going to be as easy as I envisioned it being in my head. Joel makes some kind of a weird face that may have been his idea of a concerned expression, and says, "Don't get too disappointed, but you won't be able to spend this weekend with me. I've got other plans... but you're definitely on for the weekend after that. And by the way, in addition to getting that hair cut shorter, you'll also need to remove all your other body hair just before the weekend. If I find any on you I'll take it out with tweezers... got it?" I said in a very respectful manner. "Joel, I appreciate you taking an interest in me, but I got to say, it's not reciprocal. I'm sorry, man. No disrespect intended" He changed his expression to a pissed-off frown and, quick as a snake, his hand dropped off my shoulder to get a hold on my left arm and yanked me against his iron body so hard the gum I was chewing flew out of my mouth. I thought the wind was knocked out of me too, but a huge intake of air got me breathing again. He snarled, "What the fuck does that mean... resceptical, or whatever you said?"

For a second I didn't know what he was talking about, I frowned back at him and went, "Huh? What do ya mean? You mean... reciprocal?" His lip curled, a vein throbbed in his neck... this man is unhinged, dangerous. From some faint nod of his head I decided that's what he was confused about. With my heart pounding out of my chest, I said, as calmly as I could, "Please let go of my arm, Joel. I've obviously given you the wrong impression of me. It wasn't on purpose. When I say the feeling isn't reciprocal, I mean you have taken an interest in me, but I can't return the interest in you... I can't return your feelings because I have no feelings for you. Like I said, I'm sorry I unintentionally mislead you. I mean no disrespect at all. I'd like to be your friend at work, but that's all." His mouth was open and a saliva strand connected his top right, front tooth with a bottom tooth, it arched out as his exhales blew past it. Nice teeth, by the way. I was still returning his stare, but not challenging him... I'm not as nuts as he is. He closed his mouth, wiped the back of his hand across his lips and mumbled. "You have been waving your twat at me, giving me those bedroom eyes, always looking for me on the job, and you're saying I'm imagining all that? Is that it, punk? Is that what you're saying?" I whispered, "Yes, it's the truth. I didn't do any of those things. You mis- interpreted something I was doing that way, but I didn't intend for it to be that way." He let go of my arm and says, "I don't know what you're babbling about and neither do you. You're fucked up. But, whatever... somebody still needs to give you what you're begging for, and I'm going to be the one... it just ain't going to be this weekend. It'll be the weekend after like I already said, and you fucking better have yourself prepared". He looked at me hard for a few seconds, me at a loss as to how I can make it any plainer for him, then his other hand flew up and smacked the back of my head, "WHACK!"... stars swarmed around my eyes, I blinked and blinked as he walked away. My knees were shaky and I wanted to pee my pants. He actually believes I'm coming on to him. Talk about delusional. I leaned against the wall thinking, he's still dangerous, but the supposed weekend re-education program he has planned for me is put off for another week anyway... that's a relief! It's also another week closer till the end of my involvement with that madman. Only a month until school starts, and then I'll be safely working in Stop and Shop bagging groceries and saying, "Have a nice day" to everyone.

Robbie was disappointed I got to the locker room so late, but after that fun play time with Joel I had to go into a stall in the lavatory and sit on the toilet seat until my breathing and heartbeat got back to normal. Joel is one scary mother-fucker. Robbie and I did quick massages and when he was doing me he leaned down so the sides of our faces touched, like we do, and said, "I have something wicked important to tell you after work, Dylan... please try to get back to my locker as soon as we get back from the field. I'm depending on you, Dylan." I told him, "Sure, dude. What's it all about? Dodger screwing up again?" Robbie said, "Later, I got to work up the courage first". He was very up-tight and I was worried there might be some problem with his home life or something. What could it be? Naturally, it would be my dream-come-true if it was that he was going to tell me he's gay and has a crush on me, and could he suck my dick or something like that, but I'm more realistic. That's a fantasy and Robbie and I apparently need to deal with some real life problem of his, or of ours. I hate to admit it, but I hope Robbie isn't expecting me to be able to solve his problem, whatever it is. I'll help in any way he wants me too, of course... it's just that I don't think I'm real great at solving problems. My best strategy is to put the problem off as long as possible and hope it works itself out, or better yet, just goes away somehow. Ya know, like the Jake Rollins thing worked itself out, sort of.

It wasn't as hot today on the job and so the lawn work went easier than yesterday. We ate in the shade of a big old oak tree with a nice breeze helping the situation. Joel sat next to me and even though he never said a word or touched me, it wasn't the most relaxed lunch I ever had. Toby was bitching about IRS deductions from his pay. After a two minute sermon about the evils of income tax he lisped, "You put those two words together... "the" and "IRS" and it spells.. "theirs". That says it all." Robbie said, "David Ortiz hit another walk-off home-run last night. Didya, see it?" Toby goes, "Who...?" And I saw Robbie biting his lip so as not to chuckle. Poor Toby isn't really into sports too much. To even things out I told everyone Chubby's joke about the guy who got castrated unnecessarily and all the guys got a good laugh except Joel who muttered, "I'd have castrated that fucking doctor if it happened to me". Toby lisped, "It's only a joke, Joel, no one would ever get castrated because they had a headache", and he laughed and pushed Joel's shoulder and Joel smiled self- consciously and said, "Oh, well yeah... I knew that"... and just at that moment he seemed like a regular guy who just wasn't too bright... maybe that's what he is. Maybe I just need to sit down and talk to him like he was a regular guy instead of like he was a maniac... except, he is a maniac. Well, I don't really need to worry about that for almost two weeks, so fuck it..

By the time we were unloading the pick-up at the end of the day the skies opened up and it rained really hard, like it does at times in the summer. We finished without getting soaked too badly, but I thought about the block party Willie and I were suppose to go to tonight and how they'll need to postpone it because of this rain. It's a shame, but of course Willie is sick, so we couldn't go anyway. I was more than a little disappointed about that... I missed Saturday's date-night and now Tuesday's date-night as well, that sucks! Willie was taking up more and more of my contemplating time of late. I thought about him a lot and it always came back to the special way he treats me... and the way he fucks me. I love the make-outs too, but the way he fucks me is so hot! I've been getting boners just thinking about him... and I love the tight ball he gets us into after sex. He wraps me up so tightly I can't hardly move. I guess it's his control thing to a certain degree... showing me he's stronger than me and therefore dominant. I guess that's true, although that word "dominant" puts the wrong emphasis to what Willie's all about. It's such a small part of everything. Anyway, whatever... I like it, and I love him. Thinking about all that, while dumping grass clipping into the large bin from the barrels on the truck, as Robbie says, "I'll see you at my locker Dylan, OK?" I go, "Oh, yeah... sure, dude" but I'd forgotten about that problem he wanted to tell me. What the hell, I am curious so I hurried up and finished, said goodnight to Toby and the boys, and hurried into the locker room. Before I even got to Robbie I could see how red his face was and how he was nervously rubbing his fingers together and tapping his foot. What the hell is going on? Now I was nervous that maybe Dodger had confessed some of his and my sexy play together, but hell... it was always Dodger that started, and finished, those things... and now I'm going to get blamed for it?! Robbie's going to tell me his parents know about it? Damn, and Dodger's only sixteen too. I walked right up to Robbie and said, "Does this have anything to do with Dodger?" I was taking the offensive... Robbie goes, "Dodger? No, nothing to do with Dodger. It has to do with us two... you and me. Well, mostly me, I guess."

I say, "Us? What'd we do?" Robbie looked away and said, real fast, "Don't hate me, and please don't tell anybody, but I'm gay and I have a wicked crush on you." His face got even redder so I was pretty sure this wasn't a put-on of some kind. I did look around for the college kids thinking they put Robbie up to this and that they'd be smirking behind lockers or something, but everyone had gone except Mr and Mrs Dickers back in their office, and Robbie and me. The locker room had that empty feel about it. I couldn't think of anything to say so I coughed a few times, and then came up with this, "Huh? What'd ya say?" Robbie goes, "Oh God! Do not be mean to me, Dylan." Still he wouldn't look at me, and then he says, "I can't breath, I can't breath" he sounded panicky so I stepped to him and grabbed his shoulders to shake him. "It's OK, Robbie. It's alright. Here..." and I hugged him against me as best I could... his body was like a thick steel wire. He hesitated and then wrapped his arms around me and nuzzled his face against my neck and chin and he cried a little... that's what it felt like on my neck anyway... tears from a silent cry. I was stuck on that one clever remark of mine so I repeated it, "It's OK. Everything is OK" After about thirty seconds he seemed to stop his angst, his body lost some of it's rigidity, and he asked, in a tentative voice, "What do ya mean everything's OK?" I said matter-of-factly, "I'm gay too, Robbie. We're a couple of gay boys, everything's fine. You and me, we're cool." Robbie goes, "Oh, thank God! I prayed it would work out, but I wouldn't even let myself hope you'd be gay too. I just hoped you'd be my friend sharing my secret, and help me talk things out. It's so lonely being gay all alone." I heard Mrs Dickers calling to Robbie that they were ready to take off for home. Robbie ignored that and says to me, "After dinner, can I come over for a haircut tonight, and we can talk about this? I'm so relieved and excited, Dylan. Oh my god, I can't believe it!" I said, "Sure Robbie, but what about Dodger?" Robbie goes, "What about him?" I was half meaning, are you and Dodger gay together? but because of Robbie's response, I go, "He'll want to come for a haircut too, won't he?" I guess we were both all agitated, on edge, excited... and lost, basically. My heart was beating fast and I wanted to kiss Robbie so bad, but I didn't have the nerve. He says, "Yeah, you're right, Dodger will have to come with me, but you and I will have a little time together and we can plan other times... hey, you're coming over tomorrow night for the Wednesday barbecue, right?" Again, Mrs Dickers calls for Robbie, as I go, "Right, I'll see you tonight and we'll talk." We were both acting wicked unsure of ourselves, jittery nervousness. He reached out his hand and I reached out mine, Robbie took my hand and kissed it saying, "Thank you, Dylan... oh, thank you!" and he was gone.

Sitting down on the bench in front of Robbie's locker I forced my mind to be blank. There were too many loud thoughts roaring around in my head, all trying to get my attention simultaneously. I heard the janitorial staff bumbling around out in the offices, but other than that... I just stared at Robbie's locker. I'd already missed my bus so I had a while before the next one. Soon enough I let myself think... what exactly just took place here? I tried to reproduce it word for word, and emotion for emotion... every movement we both made. What it was, was this... Robbie is gay, and he has a wicked crush on me. That's what it is. He's gay with a crush on me... on me, who has had a crush on him... well actually, I had a crush on him before I even knew I had one. Before I realized I was gay I thought I was just fantasizing that Robbie would be my friend. He's popular and I'm not especially popular, or even known among the "in-crowd". While Robbie's a star on the high school baseball team and known by the whole student body, my only claim to fame came late to me... when I started letting the high school newspaper editor fuck me, that basically got me promoted to take his place as editor for my senior year. Most in-crowd members were not impressed by that however. But, somehow, someway, for some reason, even though he's a "somebody" in high school and I ain't... Robbie is the one with a wicked crush on me. Hot shit! I started to let myself get excited. Then I thought, holy shit!... if Willie wasn't sick I'd have had to tell Robbie, "No, sorry dude, I can't make it tonight. Got a date." Well, I wouldn't have said that, but I wouldn't have been able to be there for Robbie tonight, and he really needs my support tonight. Funny how things work out sometimes. Then I thought about the courage it took for Robbie to tell me what he'd told me... he'd left himself so vulnerable to anything and everything. It's a compliment that he trusted me not to ridicule him... what if I was straight and a homophobe. Robbie and I never talked about gay matters, not even once. Of course, we did the massaging so he had that going for him, that was sort of a clue... still, it was courageous to come right out like that and say, "I'm gay and I have a crush on you". It took me six weeks to say "I love you" to Willie. Of my god, what about Willie?

Yes, indeed... what about Willie? Do I tell Robbie I have a boyfriend that I'm in love with? Do I mention Robbie to Willie? But, never mind that... do I tell Robbie about Dodger and me and the, ah... unfortunate swimming pool affair. And if I did mention it, do I tell him that, actually, I didn't think it was unfortunate at all? I've got some things to think about here, that's certain. Later for that. After calling Chubby's cell to leave the message I'm catching the six o'clock bus, I sat on the bench at the bus stop and thought in general about this latest, totally unexpected turn of events. Sure, I dreamed of Robbie being gay, but I always put it in the fantasy category... never a real possibility, until more recently. Yes, the massages are the give-a-way. No two teenage boys would massage each other like that unless something was going on sexually. That's so obvious to me now. So, why didn't I see it sooner? Robbie obviously saw it earlier which gave him the courage to take a chance of coming"out" to me, although, to be honest, it didn't seem like he was real confident of the conclusion when it came time for him to actually say the words, "I'm gay and have a crush on you". My whole body shuddered as the meaning of those words sunk in. Me and Robbie... oh my god! "Me and Robbie" is such a nice thought, except I'm in love with Willie. Hmmmmm? Here comes the bus. I got on and thought, it's funny how I've never spoken to most of the people who ride my normal bus, but seeing them sitting there each day makes me feel comfortable. This bus is full of total strangers and it feels different, like I don't belong here. Walking from the bus stop to my condo, smoking a cigarette... I all of a sudden felt so elated that I jumped in the air, pumped my fist and go, "Yeah! Robbie!" Thinking in my head, Robbie is gay and he has a crush on me! Then, landing on my feet, I hear a girl say "geek" and I looked over my shoulder to see three girls giggling behind me about a half block away. I turned at the next block and went four blocks out of my way to get away from them. That put a bit of a damper on my mood and when I walked into Chubby's condo I was more or less in my usual "after work" frame of mind. Chubby was in his new "after work" frame of mind... cheerful.

His smiling face lit-up when he saw me, making me feel "high" again. "Dude" he goes, "Give me a hug, bro. I hate that haircut!" but he was grinning when he said that and we hugged real quick. I told him, "Speaking of cool haircuts, the Dickers brothers are coming over for haircuts tonight after dinner. We can all get some DairyQueen soft serve afterward, if ya want to." That was fine with Chubby as long as I was the barber. He'd cut my hair many times in the past because I liked him doing it, not because he thought it was fun. Cutting Chubby's and the Dickers boys' hair was fun for me, especially knowing about Dodger's haircut fetish, and that he was right on the verge of cuming all during his haircut... that is so sexy! And, now I get to give a haircut to "gay" Robbie... I liked thinking that, so I thought it again... "gay" Robbie. Hot shit! Obviously, I said nothing about Robbie being gay to Chubby. We fixed cheesesteaks for dinner, we had V8 to drink pretending that it was our vegetable. Chubby had another good day at work and told me another of Rickie's jokes... this one about a guy who had a shitty day on the job. He wasn't paying attention while driving home and he rear-ended another car. A dwarf jumps out of the rear-ended car and storms back to yell..."I'm not happy!" and the other guy says, "Well, which one are you then?" I had to chuckle, but that would only be worth a groan and a grin if anyone else but Chubby told it to me. I just like looking at Chubby when he smiles... or, for that matter, when he's grumpy or when he's sleeping or... well, you get the idea, I like looking at Chubby... all-boy, Jeffrey Chubby Romero... all five foot-six-inches of him.

After dinner Dodger came storming in first. "Dylan!" he yelled and then explained, "Robbie's parking the car and I jumped out because I want to be first." "Dodger, dude" I yelled right back, "Give me a hug, dude. I haven seen you for over two weeks." Great hug with some humping, but he's four inches shorter than me so he humped my thigh just below my package. He was hard again of course, he's always got a boner... a cute, almost four inch boner. Small, but it felt good up my asshole that time in the pool. Jesus! Now I'm getting a boner just remembering that. Dodger smelled good, just like his brother. Chubby came down from his condo and he and Dodger hugged quickly also, but I didn't detect any humping which, for some reason, made me feel good. Robbie came in then, looked nervously a me and then acted regularly with his greeting for Chubby. We'd all be together at their pool tomorrow night for the barbecue so it's nice we got the reunion out of the way tonight. Chubby didn't need a haircut because Rickie was now in charge of that, so he and Robbie went into my room to play a computer game... both Dickers brothers, as well as Chubby, are very competitive in everything they did. Me, not so much. As I put a cape around Dodger, he was bitching to me that Robbie hadn't told him about the haircuts until after they'd had dinner. He whined, "If I'd have known about it a little earlier I would have put off my afternoon jerk-off. But noooo, he don't tell me till after I'd pounded my monkey for ten minutes getting mucho boy-cream to shoot so nicely out of my tough looking penis, it was soooo cool. Now my haircut fetish might not even result in a climax of cum. Cut it slow, Dylan... puleeeze!" It always amazes me the way Dodger just comes out with the most personal details of his life and thoughts, unfiltered, directly from his cute little head. He's not embarrassed by any of it... not with me anyhow. I hugged his head as he sat there on the stool and said, "OK, Dodger. You're getting the shortest buzz cut ever given!" He goes, "Ohhhh, that's what I need to hear." We didn't talk anymore because Chubby wants to concentrate and enjoy the sexual arousal he gets from having his hair cut. This is right up there with the foot fetish crowd as weird man weird, but a little sexy too, Sexy when you're right there with them as they're squirming and grinding their crotches and biting their lip and moaning with pleasure... the fronts of their pants propped up by their boner. It's a little hot, watching the fetish group, I got to admit it.

I gave him the normal buzz cut, but I went back and forth over the front and the crown with the clippers many times because those areas seem to turn him on the most. He closes his eyes and is very pliable, almost like he doesn't have any bones in his body at all... except that one steel bone in his pants. When I finished using the trimmers around his ears and the back of his neck he said, "Oh that was hot, Dylan. I really, really want to jerk off in front of you now, OK with you? Puleeeze!" I know it isn't right to take advantage of him, but I'm weak. I said, "In the little powder room there, Dodger". He rolled off the stool and waddled over to the the half-bath groping his crotch, his boner firmly poking out the front of his shorts. Dodger's face was the same rosy bright pink as those blotches on his cheeks... he was puffing up his cheeks and blowing out short burst of air. I closed the door and right away out comes his red, hard, four-inch boner with a dripping head. I wasn't really surprised he was "up" for wacking-off again even though he did it only an hour and a half ago... he's famous for jerking off five or six times a day. Dodger used his index and middle finger along with his thumb to stroke his boner at a fast, but not frantic speed. The Dickers brothers were both cut, but it was done sensibly leaving enough foreskin to cover half the head of their four inch penises. Dodger's eyes were mostly closed, but fluttering a little bit too... he was highly aroused. One hand stroking his hard little cock while the other hand was feeling his freshly barbered buzzcut. He jerked off for ninety seconds, moaning and cooing softly... then he arched his back, humped his hips while biting his lip, and then groaned, "Ahhh, yeah!" and out squirted a spray of teen cum. He kept stroking for another minute and then collapsed on the toilet seat lid saying, "Oh, shit. My dick is sore again, Dylan... but it was worth it." I said, "Let me have a taste"and Dodger held up his hand so that I could suck some cum off his fingers. "Don't taste like anything, Dodger... just watery cum. Ya ever let your pecker alone long enough to allow your nuts enough recovery time to generate some nice creamy cum?" He goes, "No".

I go, "Oh" and then, just like that, his whole body is animated again, he's all smiles when he says, "Let me bite one fingernail, Dylan... that's all I ask, just one. Come on, please. I let you watch me jerk off". I said, "You begged me to watch you jerk-off, how come you switch everything around all the time?" He gave me the cutest smirk and flipped me the bird saying, "You are so mean to me..." I was in a crazy mood myself, what with Robbie's admission and all, so I let Dodger have my own middle finger... not giving him the "bird", but so he could bite my fingernail. That was yet another one of this sex pot's fetishes, or habits, or whatever they're called. Without a word, he gasped and then sucked and tongued that finger's nail until just the right moment when, with one rip between his teeth, the entire top part of my fingernail came off. He spit it into the sink, and taking little nips with his teeth, he began biting off and spitting out tiny pieces of nail until he was was biting just below the quick and a drop of blood pooled up. Beaming, he said, "OK, that's the way I could do all your fingernails, Dylan. I'm fast, just give me the time." I was sucking on the end of that finger myself by now, saying, "God damnit, Dodger, that hurt! You bit too much into the quick." He goes, "Oh, and you never went a bit too deep when you were a nail-biter, I suppose." I made a face and said, "Only every fucking time I bit them, dude... but they were my own fingernails." Dodger hopped up off the toilet seat and kissed my lips saying, "You're the coolest boy I've ever met" and he was out of the half bath and headed up the steps yelling back, "I'll send Robbie... give him a buzzcut!" and then I heard him laughting. What energy!

In less than a minute Robbie was coming down the stairs, but without his usual zip. I go, "What's wrong?" and he's like, "I'm worried you may have had second thoughts about me, us... I mean, maybe you don't think it's so cool I got a crush on you or something... I don't know, I'm real nervous." I asked, "Hey, don't worry about it. Let me ask you something, besides those little kisses you and your brother do with each other, have you ever kissed another boy?" Robbie goes, "No, of course not... have you?" He was acting so unsure of himself, so shy. If it's even possible for Robbie to be more attractive then he already is, his uncertainty, his shyness, did it for him. I took a deep breath to cool my emotions a bit, sorta pointed to the ceiling with my index finger, and say, "We can't do a whole lot with Chubby and Dodger right over our heads there in my bedroom, but since you say you have a crush on me, maybe you'd like me to be the first boy you kiss for real. Robbie started blushing and licking his lips, "OK" he says, but doesn't move so I walked the three steps to him and said, "First, just a brotherly kiss" and I kissed him on the lips a bit slower than Dodger and Robbie do it. Robbie blushed some more and licked his lips again. For the real kiss, I put my hand behind his head to hold him in place and did a slow wet kiss on his lips without any tongue. His arms automatically came up to hold me at the waist with both hands. Our noses rubbed together as I mover my head a bit with that yummy wet kiss. When I pulled my head away Robbie's eyes were wide and shiny and after a half second his whole body shuddered and he made gasping sounds catching his breath. Then, "Oh my god, Dylan... I think I'm going to cum". He was so innocent and young-looking at that moment, I felt a great responsibility to him... he'd come to me for guidance, or advise, or for something maybe he didn't even recognize. I said nothing, just hugged him around his neck with both my arms this time, and then did my best impression of a Willie kiss. Both Robbie's arms wrapped around my body tightly and he kissed back making a lot of mouth noises as he unconsciously dry humped into my groin. The kiss lasted a minute, but no longer because Robbie began gasping for oxygen. Like myself in my early experiences with this huge new kind of sexual thrill... it created such aroused feeling all over my body, I'd forget to breathe just as Robbie had forgot with that kiss. There was a wet spot on the front of his shorts, but it was short of climax.

Hearing the refrigerator door slam at the top of the steps I knew the other two guys were in the kitchen, too close for more kisses so I quietly said, "That's your first kiss, Robbie. I hope you never forget who shared it with you, I never will" and then I did a kiss on his lips real fast. "We better get started with the haircut... those two could me down here in two seconds flat, if they choose to... and they're both totally unpredictable". Robbie nodded his head, groped his groin, put his hand down the front of his pants and, biting his lip, stroked himself a couple of times. When he pulled his hand out I saw the wet shiny precum on a couple of his fingers, and some more on the back of his hand. Robbie moved over to the barber stool murmuring over his shoulder to me, "I never thought kissing could be that hot. You make me crazy Dylan, I got it bad for you, dude. I'm a fucking basket case right now... no way can this be normal." I couldn't think of the right thing to say to that, it's so flattering, and it made me think of Willie in our early days together. He said those kind if things to me early in our romance, now it's more me saying them to him. But still, I wonder what the fuck it is exactly that inspires that initial crush?

Robbie usually takes his shirt off for haircuts and he did this time too... his body scents waft up with his natural heat and had me groping my semi boner. Our kiss had my cock at half mast, but the sounds at the top of the stairs put an end to that. Now, Robbie's odor got me going again. I was standing behind him, couldn't stop myself from hugging around his neck with my face next to his, then rubbing my nose against the side of his head... god damn, he turns me on. Then a fifteen second kiss on the side of his head, with him leaning into me, both his hands holding onto the arm I had around his neck. My boner went fully hard as the kiss progressed. This was wild! He might be too hot for me... oh my god, this is more than just being turned on to someone.

After that side-of-the-head kiss I shook my head back and forth trying to get myself under control. I screamed inside my head to grow-up and act like I been there before.... jesus! Calmed down some, I wrapped the cape over his bare shoulders and turned on the clippers. For the first time, the haircut was second place in my mind, I was more interested in Robbie's gayness then I was in the haircut. What I thought while cutting his hair was all about Robbie and me, and how could it possibly work out? It's got to work out, there isn't any question about that, but I don't know how? Willie expects me to be faithful, which mostly has to do with safe sex. If I'm having sex with someone else, he and I will need to use condoms, and he doesn't want to do that so he puts it on me not to have sex with anyone but him. Except, I rationalized to myself, Robbie's never had sex with anyone, so it's as safe a sex as there is. The clippers clattered, but Robbie and I were silent, both thinking our own thoughts... pondering different angles of the same new development. As I finished up the sides and back of Robbie's head, including the trimmer around the ears and all, Chubby called down to us, "Dylan, Robbie... Dodger and me are going outside... this little peckerwood claims he wants a cigarette. Does he smoke, Robbie?" Robbie shouts out, "Yeah, he does." Chubby yells back down, "We'll wait for you guys outside, OK?" and Robbie and I say, simultaneously, "Yeah, OK!" As I hear the front door close, Robbie spouts out, "We have some time, Dylan. Please, make a fantasy of mine come true for me. I want to feel your penis inside me. Believe it or not, Dylan... I've already had my finger, and a carrot, and I don't know how many other things up there, but it's your cock I want to feel... plueeeze". Without hesitating, I'm like, "It will need to be quick Robbie. So, you sure you want your first time to be a quickie?" He was very sure he wanted it, quickie or otherwise, so, without finishing the haircut I unhooked his cape and said, in a hoarse voice, "Let's do it in the powder room. If they come back inside we'll at least have a slim chance of not being caught".

Inside the half bath Robbie goes, "Oh fuck! I'm so nervous. Should I do this, Dylan?" I was in heat now myself, so I say, "Yeah, Robbie... you're real squirrelly, you got yourself all worked-up and we might as well take care of it. You'll love it. I do." He was all wide eyed, looking to me for instructions. I locked the door and began fishing through a first aid kit in the vanity under the sink for some vaseline. I said, "Get your shorts unbuttoned and pull them down with your jockeys." Neither of the Dickers brothers ever seemed uncomfortable being naked in front of others... that's a surprise too because of their small penises, but they've dealt with that long ago I guess. Robbie's shorts were around his knees, I say "Bend over some and lean on that towel rack. I'm going to lube your hole with vaseline, it's messy but it's all I got, and we need lube." Robbie has that little boy scared looked so I say, "Don't worry Robbie, you'll be fine... I wouldn't hurt you for anything." He nodded his head and bit his bottom lip for the tenth time this afternoon as he reached back to touch his hole. Pulling down my shorts, I stared at the two perfect mounds of his ass. Each buttocks firm and full, situated there at the top of slim, muscular, thighs. Excellent! Not a hair in sight when I pushed a vaseline coated finger up his hole. Robbie leaned forward and grabbed the towel rack with both hands, his head resting on the back of his hands... he goes, "Ahhhh" as my finger goes in to the second knuckle. I worked it around and thought to myself, "Fuck! This is tight... Gonna feel awful good on my cock." I was hot now. Out loud, I said, "It will probably hurt some at first Robbie, but it doesn't last too long. Your tunnel will expand to handle my skinny dick easily." I tried to keep my banter "light" but it wasn't easy because, as I said, I was pretty hot and excited myself by now. I rubbed vaseline on the shaft of my boner and put extra on the swollen, rose colored head. Poking his hole with that rose colored head a few times caused precum to squeeze out through the vaseline I had there, I stifled a moan of pleasure... it was too soon to show how erotic this was for me, it should be Robbie's time right now.

"Ready, Robbie? I'm pushing in now... it'll hurt a little" and I did one solid, but small, hump... the head of my cock tightly slid past his sphincter muscle, that extra tight ring of his. Puffing out my cheeks and holding my breath to again keep from moaning in pleasure, it felt so fucking good. Robbie went, "It hurts, don't... it hurts" for just a second I thought, "what a wimp" but then remembered it's his first time. I go, "Shhhhh, it's alright" and pushed in two more inches. Robbie was making a keening sound into the small hand-towel hanging on the rack, and shaking his head like he wanted me to stop. It felt too good on my cock to stop, and I knew he'd feel better soon, so I did a big push all the way in until my shaved crotch was flush with his hairless ass. The vaseline had warmed up and excess rolled down both of Robbie's buttocks. He goes, "This sucks, I don't want to do it" and a single tear rolled down his cheek. He doesn't know the

pleasure that's right around the corner so I need to be firm long enough for him to experience it. If that pleasure isn't worth the pain, he isn't going to want to be a bottom again... and that will be a huge disappointment to me. I didn't say anything, just stayed fully inside him and gently rubbed his shoulders. It felt fabulous on my boner, different than Willie's ass somehow, but they both felt very, very fine. I watched with apprehension to see if he'd start relaxing the tenseness in his body... tense from the hurting in his hole. Hardly breathing myself, I think I saw his face relax and then his whole body was definitely slowly losing it's stiffness. I waited a little longer and then there it was, Robbie let out a little moan, "Ohhh... Mmmmmmm Ohh yeah" and I had him hooked. He was going to be hooked on being a bottom just like I am. Oh, he may like topping too, like I do, but nothing matches the feeling of being fucked, especially by someone you like. I saw the look come over his face... the same kind of look I felt come over my face when I'm getting fucked. That look I get especially when Willie fucked me, but even at times when I got hooked on Carl, I had some of that look when he fucked me too.

"Feel good, Robbie?" he goes, "Mmmmmm, oh yeah" so I did short humps, about three inch humps and his tongue was out again licking his lips. Robbie is going to be such a hot bottom for somebody! It was time to actually fuck him and I began slowly with full thrusts and then picked up speed... with every thrust he went, "Ah!" so it was "Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! " Robbie had his ass pushed up and back towards me, fully available. I reached around and felt his hard four inches and then his normal size nuts that were hard and at the top of his sac... I could tell he was getting ready to blow so I rabbit fucked him "Ah!Ah!Ah!Ah!Ah!" until his ring tightened so hard on the shaft of my boner I let out a long "Ohhhhhhhhh" and fired off my climax into his ass. The tightened ring told me he'd already fired off a long single, hard stream of cum. I knew because his ring stayed impossibly tight on my boner for a few seconds. My climax was three nice strings of cum, I could tell there was three by the way my pee slit burned quickly three separate times, once for each squirt. His hole was slimy now and not nearly as tight. Robbie had a mouthful of that little hand-towel and his head was going back and forth with the waves of pleasure his climax produced. When he took the towel out of his mouth he continued with a low "Ah ah ah" as I slowly did some after-climax humping. What a great asshole he has. I rubbed my hands over his back, down to his waist and grabbed fistfuls of his buttocks, clenching and unclenching my fist. I hate to say this, but I felt very dominant over Robbie at that moment. By now I was doing long exhales... feeling fabulous. The entire fuck took less than three minutes. When Robbie shot off and tightened his sphincter in that death grip on my cock, it was all over for me. I loved it though, loved each second of each of the three minutes. Pulling out of him, Robbie goes, "No ah oh oh" and

then "Ohhhhhh" and I turned him around and hugged him against me. Both out cocks had cum drooling off them but we didn't care. I kissed him a few times and Robbie mumbled, "I need to sit down, Dylan. I feel feint." What a great three minutes with Robbie. It was all over... his first time was over forever. His cherry was gone. I wanted to do it again so bad, but Robbie was definitely over-stimulated and he looked pale. I got a wet washcloth to put on his face and after wiping my cock the best I could... that horrid vaseline is hard to get clean... I pulled up my shorts went out and got Robbie a cold drink. He was laying back against the toilet tank, coming down from the sexual thrill, thus far, of his life. I knew the feeling well, it had happened to me not too long ago. With Robbie's cold drink in my hand I peeked out to the street, there was Chubby and Dodger smoking and jawing at each other, giving each other the bird and laughing like mad... those two are two peas in a pod.

Taking the soft drink to Robbie... after he drank some of it he said he was feeling OK. I helped clean him up, wiping the cum and vaseline off his buttocks and putting toilet paper in his jockey underwear so it would absorb more cum drooling. Then I spotted the big cum splat on the tiled wall where Robbie had exploded his climax. I cleaned that up and gently gave Robbie another hug, he goes, "I'm OK now, Dylan. My emotions took over for awhile there and overwhelmed me some. That was the single most exhilerated moment in my life... nothing comes close to it. I had no idea such a thrilling, indescribable feeling could happen... and it took over my entire body too." I was squeezing the back of his neck smiling because I had helped with that feeling and I hadn't let him down. Still, I had a lot of contemplating to do... hell, just to allow what happened in the past twenty minutes to sink in would require a lot of contemplating. While I finished his haircut I thought, what's next for Robbie and me??

to be continued........

Donny Mumford thinat20@yahoo.com