Dylans Dilemma

Oh my God, what a way to get my first blow-job, wow! Walking home after it happened I'm thinking like... "Yeah, wow, but still... what to make of it". I mean, a hot looking, young, married Marine sucking me off? Who would ever expect that? It certainly was a great blow-job though, and surely not his first. On the other hand, how do I know it was a "great" one... it's the only one I've ever had... but, come on, I can't imagine how it could be done much better.

The sun was unusually hot for this time of year... jogging slowly across the parking lot to the front of the building I realized I was wicked thirsty. Unfortunately, I'd used my bottled water washing the Marine's cum off my leg. So, no choice but to pay two dollars for a bottle of water here at the Supermarket.

Sweaty and disheveled, I went in, bought the water and hustled right back out again... then drank it in less than a minute. I'm not really into recycling yet so I chucked the bottle into a trash barrel wondering, why the hell do they charge two dollars for a bottle of water... answer, because they can. Fuck, money is always an issue with me... I should have left the cum on my leg and drank the original bottle of water, that's what I shoulda done. I'm a great one for figuring out what "I shoulda done"... Monday morning quarterback, that's me.

Along the way home I thought about the young Marine some more. It's the tattoo on his arm that makes me think he's a Marine. It read, "SEMPER FI". My grandfather was a Marine so I know "Semper Fi" is short for "Semper Fidelis" which is Latin for "always faithful". The Marines maybe don't think of it as "always faithful", but it has to be something like that. Getting my first blow-job from a Marine is definitely the last thing you'd ever expect, and a married Marine at that.... I'm back to thinking about that again. Hey, it's a mind-blowing concept.

Then I thought of the fuss he made over me... about my looks and all. He said I was very special, like some Adonis or something. Well, no... he didn't use that word and I guess he didn't say "very special"... just "special". Whatever, from a Marine... not too bad. In retrospect, every single thing about that entire affair was unexpected. He said I "was prettier than his wife" and that I have a good body too? My body is something that never occurs to me although I have been noticing Chubby's body a lot lately.

Waiting for a traffic light to change, I made a muscle and looked at my bicep thinking, he said I have good "guns" too. Humph, I never even noticed them before. Then I glanced across the street to see two teenage girls looking at me, giggling like only girls can giggle. The one who looked like Olive Oil imitated me making a muscle, and the one that looked like Mrs Porky Pig pretended to feel it and they both giggled some more. Just what I needed. My face burst into flames as I hurriedly walked further on down the block. I'll cross the street at the next traffic light... away from those laughing female cartoon-characters.

Those girls made me go out of my way, god damnit! Now I'll need to walk down busy Main Street to connect-up with my original way home. This is not a real familiar area to me, it's leading me to downtown Framingham. Wicked busy intersection... I walked around a corner there it was staring me in the face. A big Marine recruiting sign over the third shop in a block-long stretch of attached stores. Barbershop, then a dry cleaners, and then the recruiting office. My Marine might works out of that very office. I looked in through the plate glass window as I walked by... two Marines, behind two desks, talking to two tough looking kids. One of the Marines looked up, saw me staring, smiled and waved his hand for me to come in. I started jogging again, my heart pounding... get the fuck away from there.

I went back to contemplating my weird afternoon... it surprises the hell out of me that ANY married man would want to do gay stuff, like sucking my dick.... never mind a married Marine. Something this bizarre makes me wonder what's going to happen to me next? First... weird, fat Carl fucking me and now this Marine sucks my dick... twilight zone material. Then I tried to evaluate... overall, what do I think about that experience in the woods? Mixed feelings, is what I came up with. I'm conflicted, for sure. On the one hand, the blow-job felt fantastic, something totally new to me... on the other hand, I hadn't had any say in the matter. It was kind of like a rape... if blow-jobs count as rape. Man, I gotta admit though... it did feel mighty good around my balls and especially the head of my cock. Wonder if I'm going to be brave enough, or should I say, stupid enough, to go back for more on Friday? That's the big question.

Shit! I don't know the answer.

Just thinking about meeting him Friday gave me a funny buzzing sensation low in my belly and, whoa! a shiver too. Wish I could talk about this with someone. Should I call, Carl? He said he's my mentor. No, that's stupid... I don't want to start up with that tub-of-lard again. And, no way I'm bringing this up to Chubby. I wish Chubby had never gotten that window washing job in the first place. We need to be together like we use to be... do everything together, just Chubby and me. The Marine thing would never have happened if there had been two of us at the rest area.

Unfortunately, Chubby isn't likely to go back to our old schedule... he likes his new schedule too much. Sure, his fingers ache, but he said he's use to it by now. "All the guys get use to it", he says. Well, goody for them, is what I say! He says, "no one is a pussy about a little ache or pain every now and then".

Whoop-dee-do, is what I say.. how fucking macho! Those are the sort of things Chubby's been telling me lately and, frankly, I'm sick of hearing about it. Also, he's been saying how funny his homeroom buddy Ricky is... and how the two of them "did this or that on the job together" ... oh brother! Like I give a shit. Sure, Ricky's dad could get Chubby that job, but couldn't get one for me. That's very suspicious ... could it be that Ricky wants Chubby all to himself? Oh man! I sound like such a loser.

Taking a deep breath and starting to jog the last half mile home, my mind kept going back to the Marine. Jesus! is that guy something. Those eyes of his are so blue, and that body of his is hard as a barbell. I felt under my chin with the back of my hand remembering his hairy arm under there holding me up against him... and that breathless voice of his. Is it scary or sexy? Damn if I know... both I guess. I know one thing for sure... I can't remember ever shooting off a load like the one I shot in his mouth. Whoa, I almost passed out... and he kept sucking my cock afterward too? Give me a break... awesome feeling! Here's another thing I know for sure... I've never seen as much cum at one time, at one place, as that Marine shot on my leg. Good God, that's Guinness Book of World record stuff.

That hairy arm of his felt so... I don't know, tough or something. Wonder what those muscle-bound hairy legs would feel like wrapped around me the way Chubby wraps his hairless ones around me when we wrestle. All that squiggly Marine leg hair. And I know I already went over this in my head... but, he really thought I was something.. something "special", he said. I was actually feeling kind of proud of myself standing there in front of him... up real straight, unafraid, while he examined me. Well, not totally unafraid, but I stood there. Bizarre experience, but it happened. He said I was "special" more than one time I think, not that it matters all that much what he thinks.

I jogged around Pleasant Street, onto Oak, and finally there was our two-decker duplex. It's one of six matching, two-decker, duplexes in a row. They're old, but it's been home-sweet-home for the last thirteen years. Wish the Murphy boys would stop parking that piece of shit pick-up truck on their front yard... it makes the neighborhood look trashy. Oh, what do I care. Chubby won't be home from work until around six o'clock, but both Mom and Tris, who's Chubby's Mom, were home. They were in our first floor unit chatting away. Tris and Chubby live on the second floor right over my Mom and me. Cosy, huh?

"Dylan, your face is very red and sweaty, honey. It's too hot for you to be running forty miles or how ever far it is that you run every day." My Mom could find something to worry about while winning the lottery. I say, "It's nice to see you too, Mom" and then kiss her on the cheek. Tris smiles and squeezes the back of my neck... I say, " Hi, Tris!" Mom and Tris have been best friends forever, just like Chubby and me. As usual, we talked about things for a half hour or so... both the Moms are fun and very supportive of us boys.

Mom, Tris, and me talked as I drank a quart of red Gatorade. The two moms were so proud of Chubby for getting that job and "blab, blab, blab" about that. Oh my, he's such a hard working kid and "blab, blab, blab". This is a boring conversation today. Then Mom asked about a test I had in biology...I got a 95 in that test, which impressed both of them... and Tris told me I was looking so handsome lately and she went on to say she loved the way I cut Chubby's hair last time, "what do ya call that short style, Dylan?"... I told her it was my variation "of a burr haircut" and then she told me that I'm very talented, so our conversation was getting much more enjoyable of late.

The three of us decided we had to get to the Cape this summer for vacation and the Moms were going to begin looking "on-line" for rental places in Falmouth this weekend. It was the same as it always is at this time of the day, except he wasn't here. It use to be all four of us talking about our day... now it's just all three of us and it's only about seventy-five percent as good as it use to be, if ya ask me. Guess you could say I'm missing Chubby.

My Mom and Tris left for work about three-thirty. They start work at 4pm everyday, except Sundays. Both are waitresses at Renny's Bar and Grille Restaurant, working mostly in the bar section. The two of them work together, just like Chubby and me had planned to work together... except that fucker, Ricky, has upset our plans. I know I've already covered this topic, but balls! ... that homeroom homo gets his father to sneak Chubby on the job ahead of about ten other guys in front of him on a waiting list... and leaving me behind too, of course. Not that I'm going to mope about this old news the rest of my life, but it does piss me off. Man! I get started talking about an injustice and I won't let it go.

Oh, the hell with them all! I got a CD going... my latest favorite is Ben's Brother. That's a five-man rock band from London, England. Jamie Hartman's the lead singer... his description of his approach to life is.. "stoicism in the face of insecurity".. that's cool! Listening to their hit "Stuttering", I thought some more about my Marine. Holy shit... I said, "my" Marine again. Ha ha, maybe I will see him on Friday after all. I don't have a whole lot of anything else going for me. I still can't get over that blow-job... it blows my mind!

Thinking again about those hairy arms and legs of his, they really intrigued me... maybe because Chubby and I have no hair on our arms and we shave our legs. The leg shaving goes way back and as a matter of fact we're due for that tonight or tomorrow night. Hmmmm, how can I bring up "shaved pubes" with Chubby. That's right, my Marine told me to have mine shaved... shaved smooth, except for a little half round patch above my dick, and those can't be longer than half an inch. I think that's what he told me.

I'm going to do it because at least he appreciates me... and I wouldn't mind getting sucked off again either. Damn, now that I'm committed in my mind to being with him again, I'm starting to feel real excited and real nervous at the same time.... it's scary, is what it is. Not knowing what he might do next is an intriguing kind of anticipation... sort of a thrill ride, like a roller coaster. He said he was going to treat me "special"... or something like that.

And, how about the bossy way he way he said, "you need to come over to that bench with me". Ooooh, that thought is giving me a hard-on. Into the bathroom I go, Vaseline on my finger so I can finger my hole while jerking off... and the whole time I fantasize that it's my Marine who's fucking me today ... using that eight inch boner of his.

Oh God, this is hot! Not being circumcised makes it so excellent to masturbate. The foreskin is a self-lubing sheath that creates this constant tingly feeling the length of my prick and then all over my body. I start off with slow strokes and increase the speed as I go, same for fingering my hole. It feels so good and makes me stroke my cock faster and faster and faster, all the time fantasizing that my finger is the Marine's cock, my foreskin gliding on and off the head of my swollen penis... "ahhhh", before long I grimace and grunt while forcing out a hard splat of spunk... it splattered on the mirror over the sink. Holy shit! I never reached the mirror with a cum shot before. God! that felt so good! I can't stop so I slow down with the stroking gradually over the next minute.... thinking all the while, "my fist is around my dick, and my dick is covered with the Marine's dried saliva, dried spit. Oooooh... damn, he was something alright... the head of my boner in his freaking throat?" Come on! That was so hot!.

My heart pumping hard and me taking fast, short breaths because that was a primo wack-off I just had. But then , shortly after I felt this huge let-down, kind of a depressed feeling, thinking about how I was used by him. He never asked if anything was "OK"... he just did what he wanted, never mind if I wanted it.

I felt used... what can I say. I felt kind of pathetic, to be honest. For the next couple of hours I moped around the duplex thinking about that and, at the same time, wishing Chubby would get home. Bored,

but curious, I pulled down my running shorts and jockstrap to look at my pubes. Regular pubes, dark blond. I have light blond hair, but dark blond pubes.

I ran my fingers through them thinking, I can do without these.

Then I was back to thinking about him sucking my cock again, and I also daydreamed a little about how good it felt when fat Carl first started fucking me. I was trying to remember if my climax was better from Carl's fuck, or from the Marine's blow-job. I'm sure it was the blow-job, but to Carl's credit, I didn't feel particularly used by him... like I feel about the Marine. Laying around the family room thinking about these things until I glanced up and saw it was six-thirty. Six-thirty? Chubby was always home by six o'clock. What the fuck is this all about? I wandered over and looked down the street in the direction Chubby walks home from... no one in sight.

This is curious. Going outside to smoke a cigarette and to fret about where he might be. Angry that I didn't even have a phone number to call to see if he's maybe working late. I got scared thinking maybe he ran into the Chavez brothers or turds from their high school drop-out posse. Telling myself there was surely a harmless explanation for Chubby being late, I went back inside and got our dinner out of the freezer and got it ready for the microwave. Chubby likes salads so I made one and kept it in the refrigerator to stay crisp... ya know, trying to keep busy.

He still wasn't home by seven o'clock. This is too much! I know I'm not suppose to, but I called Renny's restaurant and talked to my Mom, "Chubby isn't home yet, Mom. I'm worried." She said, "Sweetheart, you're not suppose to call here unless it's a major, major, major crisis...we've talked about that. I'll get in trouble. Renny hates us getting personal phone calls at work. Run on down to the window washing shop thingie over on Pollard St and see what's up. OK?". That's what I was going to do when Chubby walked in the door all smiles.

He had his latest-best-friend, Ricky, with him. Looking at the food I had ready for the microwave, Chubby says, "Oh, dude, you haven't eaten yet? What's up with that, it's after seven, right? I already ate with Ricky." I looked from Chubby to Ricky getting pissed-off at Chubby's flip manner. He doesn't normally talk like that. Chubby rubbed the top of Ricky's head and said, "Ricky wants me to give him a buzzcut. We'll be in the basement. Enjoy your dinner." I stared with my mouth hanging open.... the fucking gall of that entrance ... so unfair, so rude! And the nerve of using my basement to give that dickhead a haircut.

Then Chubby stops at the door to the cellar and says, "Oh fuck, sorry. Ricky this is Dylan Newman, Dylan.. Ricky Ortiz." Ricky was about as tall as me, but bigger... like a football player, not bigger like a fatso. He was nice looking in a macho way... looked older than Chubby and me. Raggedy buzzed brown hair that did need cutting and nice regular facial features... handsome actually. Something... skin tone maybe, made me think he might be Hispanic... well, yeah..duh! and his last name too.

Ricky came over to shake hands briefly and in a flat, fast manner said, " Yeah, nice to meet ya. My main man Jeff says you're cool so any friend of Jeffrey's is a friend of mine." He had a quick, firm handshake.

I said, "How ya doing?" and , that was it... Chubby took Ricky downstairs to give him a haircut. "My main man, Jeff" ... "Jeffrey"? What a fucking phony! Nobody calls Chubby.. "Jeffrey". Sure, that's his name, but it's never used. Well, I guess the teachers at school use it... but, not friends. What a jerk-off that guy is!

After cooking the chicken and noodle casserole dinner in the microwave, I realized I'd lost my appetite. Neither Chubby nor I have ever just walked in the house with a stranger before. And, the fucking nerve saying, "Dude, you haven't eaten yet?". What a prick Chubby is becoming, saying something like that... we always wait for each other to eat together. And, what's all that laughing and giggling downstairs all about? I go over to the doorway and shout down, "Chubby, we've got homework to do." No response for a few seconds, and then in a voice that was half giggling and half trying to sound serious, Chubby yelled back up, "I did mine in study hall, Dylan. Sorry, forgot to tell you" and then they both burst out in laughter again as Ricky screamed, "OK, Jeffrey, you're getting the same." I slammed the cellar door, went in my bedroom and got out my homework.

God damn, but I was all worked up. A lot of different emotions were percolating in my head, making me very upset. Is it fear I feel. Is it that I'm afraid I've lost the place in Chubby's life that I use to have. I thought I was always kind of the stable, steady one between the two of us... and Chubby played the funny, side-kick role. Is that how I really saw it? Is that how it actually was, or was that just in my head? Well it's not like that anymore, in either case... he's more or less abandoned me. I guess I'm not worthy ... I can't get him a nine-dollar-an-hour job and introduce him to all those new "cool" asshole friends.

The anger, no it's more than anger... it's like a rage. My rage at how unfair Chubby is being... it makes me feel sick to my stomach... powerless too. Let's face it, he's betrayed me... we always stuck together and now he laughs at me. Then I thought, "Fuck! This is a childish outburst! I need to admit I'm not thinking sensibly". The reality of this is that I'm crazy jealous Chubby has another best friend and that he's doing stuff with him and not with me. That's the simply truth of the matter. I'm green with envy and I suck for being so "small minded" about it.

And, I might as well get ready for things to get worse too. I don't have any other friends, how could I made friends when I spent every second with Chubby... listening to all that crazy shit he's always saying, all his factoids... Oh my God, I have the worse headache!

After taking three Tylenol I laid down on my bed and tried to make myself calm down..."try to think straight and make some fucking sense!" Chubby and me have too much history together to just split as friends. He has no intention of doing that, I'm being paranoid... so he has another friend, so what. Christ, did I think I'd be the only friend he ever has his entire life. Get real, Dylan... grow up man! I needed this good hard talking to myself and I'm feeling a little better after it... I feel more mature too. Then I thought, "Man oh man, what a difference five hours can make. Five hours ago I was getting my dick sucked for the first time ever... and now, I don't know what to call this thing thats happening to me now, but I know it's fucked-up, thats for god damn sure.

Getting off the bed with a purpose now I completed a paper for English and then went in the kitchen for a drink just as Chubby and Ricky came thundering up the cellar steps giggling like they were ten years old. Ricky popped through the kitchen door first. My mouth dropped open... his head was almost shaved. Maybe a sixteenth of an inch of hair... then a giggling Chubby hopped in the kitchen and went, "Ta da!" ... his head was the same. An enormous new flood of jealousy blackened my brain.... Chubby and I cut each others hair, not that freak, Ricky. This incompetent dork, Ricky, cut off the nice burr haircut I'd just given Chubby? I was speechless with a new, higher level of rage then before. My face was dark red, my eyes blinking wildly.

"How do you like our new look, Dylan?" Chubby laughingly asked. "We were goofing around and I got the wrong fucking attachment on the clippers when I was cutting Ricky's hair... I started laughing so hard... he looked so funny with that bald strip down the middle of his head. Oh my God, I couldn't stop laughing and then Ricky got me in a headlock and returned the favor." They put their arms around each others shoulders, Ricky leaning down to Dylan's size to put their heads together... then Ricky says, "What should we call this look, Newman? What do ya think?"

I've never had a feeling like this before in my life... I was hating on Ricky with all my heart and soul. Chubby saw the expression on my face and stopped laughing long enough to say, "Don't lay an egg Dylan, for Christ sake, it's just hair. It'll grow back in a couple of weeks." Then to Ricky, with a chuckle... "But, ya know... I kind of like it. What do you think, Ricky?" Ricky said, "Yeah, we'll do each other every week... see if the rest of the guys on the crew want to do it too. This is soooo cool. The "window-cleaners-haircut"... that's what we'll call it. Invented by Jeffery Chubby Romero."

Ignoring me completely now, Chubby got them both a coke and then they patted each other on the back and rubbed each others almost bald heads. Their laughing was grating on my nerves till I thought I'd die. I said, "I'm trying to do homework, so if you two braying jackasses don't mind, take this silly shit up to your place, Jeffrey". I may have said it in a very nasty way too. Chubby stopped cold and stared at me, I've never called him Jeffrey before ... slowly shaking his head side to side before saying, with real concern in his voice this time, "Don't be so upset, Dylan. We're just goofing around. You don't look too good. Are you alright?"

I pouted like a toddler and Chubby said, "Hey Ricky, how about we call it a night. I'll see you tomorrow in homeroom. OK, dude?" Ricky had a strange look on his face... sort of staring at me, he mumbled, "Fuck! Sure, Jeff..." Then he hesitated, his face got red, like mine, and he snarled out, " What, ya got your period or something, Newman? We didn't do nothing against you, man. Fact is, it ain't got nothing to do with you at all... this ain't none of your business. You fucking need to chill." I couldn't help myself... I screamed, "Get the fuck out of here!" My face was purple with rage, the vein pulsing at the side of my forehead. I can never remember hating anyone like I hated him... ever.

It was a dizzy, sick-to-my-stomach feeling. As soon as I screamed at him Ricky took two steps over to me, grabbed the front of my T shirt, twisting it in his fist, while pulling back his other fist ready to throw a punch... Chubby yelled, "NO! Don't hit him!"... Chubby threw himself kind of halfway in between Ricky and me, facing Ricky. "Let go of him, Ricky! He didn't do nothing." Ricky looked at Chubby with a frown and pushed me away, ripping my T shirt, saying, "You're lucky you got your body guard with ya, asshole, or I'd knock your smartass teeth down your throat. Don't ever scream at me again ya skinny fucking fairy." I yelled back, "You're fucking postal, Ortiz! Get some professional help."

Chubby, with a hand on both Ricky's and my chest, said, "Calm the fuck down down, Dylan" and to Ricky, in a mild manner he said, "Dylan's OK, I told ya that already, Ricky. He's cool, he's my numero uno home boy. Stop calling him names. OK?" And then in an even more reconciling manner to Ricky, he added, "Come on dude, save your energy for the freaking windows. You know we got to do that fucking Morris place tomorrow and it's got more windows then the Pentagon".

He was ushering Ricky toward the front door as he talked. Ricky looking back at me with hatred in his eyes, but saying nothing. Chubby followed Ricky out.

Taking a huge breath, then thinking, "That went pretty well", another big breath and the reality of it all was in my last thought, "There goes any chance I ever had of working for his father this summer, his father who just happens to be the foreman for the window washing company.. guess me and Chubby won't be partners on that job any time soon. FUCK!" Then, curious, I peeked through the front window and watched Chubby animatedly explain something to Ricky who finally threw his hands up in the air like he surrendered and then he and Chub did a quick one arm hug and rubbed each others newly barbered heads again.

I gaged at that as Ricky got into a gray Plymouth SUV and drove away. Chubby turned to come back up the steps to the front door and I hustled down the hall to my bedroom and slammed the door.

Chubby came in the house and called my name quietly outside my door a few times, but I was too humiliated to have a conversation with him. I just said, "I told you already, I gotta do my homework". He said, "I'm sorry for that performance of Ortiz's, Dylan. He's got a wicked bad temper. See ya in the morning. Your turn for the cigarettes, OK?" Still feeling sick to my stomach, I didn't say anything. A short while later I heard him quietly go out my front door and into the foyer where steps led up to his front door on the second floor. I felt like crying... well, actually, I was crying.

The crying didn't last long because I gave myself another tough talking to. Recognizing that I'm acting wicked jealous and, admitting that fact actually helped me get back to rational thinking. All the emotions involved in jealousy are exhausting, believe me. That feeling of fear... fear that something so important to you has been lost forever, or that something unspecified, but equally important, will now never be known... it's all about fear, basically. Maybe jealously is tied into that thing we learned in biology.. it's called a "fight or flight" response .. feeling like your very survival is being threatened... metaphorically speaking, where friendship and lovers are concerned. That's what you feel when someone so important in your life seems to be leaving you behind for someone else. Jealousy is a bitch!

Thursday morning I woke up feeling drugged or hung-over or both and it made me think briefly of one day last summer. While just kickin, Chubby and I stumbled upon an unopened bottle of vodka. Chubby looked at me with his eyes opened wide and a grin on his lips and said, "Butter!". The bottle was just sitting there in a shopping cart wrapped in a paper bag. Someone, in a hurry, loaded their car from the shopping cart, but left one skinny bag behind. That afternoon we drank too much of the vodka, with lemonade, and got drunk... then sick. Naturally, later we threw-up, and woke up the next day feeling like I do today... hung-over. And, that's not butter!!... that sucks!

On a brighter note, today was a nice weather day... sunny and warm, so I dressed for a summer day in May.

Pleated Dockers khaki shorts and a T shirt. Printed on the front of my T shirt was, "SARCASM...just one more service we offer". It was the logo for a joke shop on the boardwalk at Wildwood, New Jersey. The four of us spent two weeks in Wildwood last summer. Probably not this year though because, like I mentioned earlier, this year we're thinking about Cape Cod for our two weeks vacation. To complete my routine of getting ready for school, I brushed my teeth and then spiked my hair with some "electric blue...hot head spike'n" ... doing everything this morning like I was a robot.

My brain and body were functioning in slow motion as I ambled aimlessly around the kitchen. Mom sleeps in because she gets home from work late... around one AM. Finally I got myself a bowl of Frosted Flakes and a glass of cherry Koolaid. Nothing like a healthy breakfast... "most important meal of the day", someone once said that, I think. Finished and ready to leave, I peeked outside through the family room window and there was Chubby waiting for me, just like it was a regular morning. Feeling embarrassed at how I behaved last night and not knowing how to approach Chubby I hesitated going out. Then I noticed he was wearing his Red Sox baseball cap... that's good, I won't have to look at that hideous haircut at least.... a peace offering? He was also wearing Nike volley shorts and a bright orange T shirt that offered this bit of advise in big blue letters.. "PROCRASTINATE NOW!"

Taking a deep breath, I opened the door to face the world. Chubby was real subdued and just said, "Hi, Dylan." I returned the "Hi" and we started walking in silence. We walked the first six blocks, then right on schedule I pulled out a Marlboro Light cigarette... lit it, took a drag and passed it to Chubby who took a drag, lipping it as usual, and passed it back to me. When we'd finished the cigarette, Chubby flicked the butt halfway across the street and said, "OK, Dylan, I'll start. I'm sorry I brought Ricky to your place last night and I'm really, really sorry about him cutting off all my hair. Especially because of that cool burr haircut you gave me. Mom's going to be pissed off at me, she liked that haircut of your's. She told me so. I promise, from this day on, only you can cut my hair and no more surprise guests at home. OK, Dylan?"

He punched my arm lightly and added, "You're not going to be mad at me all day, are you? I can't stand it when you're mad at me, Dylan." I mumbled, "I'm such a baby sometimes. Shit, Chubby, I'm sorry about how I acted last night too." and we stopped walking then so we could do a quick one arm hug with two pats on each others back. Chubby said, "That's a start, but come on and do what you always do" and he lifted my arm and pulled it around his neck. It made me smile and I hugged him around his neck while Chubby added, "What do ya always say, Dylan? Come on, dude." and I said, "I love ya, bro" and hugged his neck again. "There... all better now?" Chubby asked and I nodded my head, smiling openly now. With Chubby it's easy to smile. We walked a little further and it just occurred to me, so I told Chubby, "Oh fuck, you know what? Ever since that fight with the Chavez brothers you and I have done a complete role reversal on each other. Total role reversal."

Chubby looked concerned for a second and then said, "I have no fucking idea what that means, but if you say it's so... it's fine with me". I looked at him and he put such a cute grin on his face I had to smile back some more. All of a sudden I felt so close to him. Chubby punched my arm again and said in a serious way, "We're unlucky in one way for sure though, you and me." When I asked why, he says, "We don't have any hair on our chest. Guys with hairless chest are more likely to get cirrhosis of the liver than men with hairy chest." Another one of Chubby's off-the-wall factoids.

He always gets me with those things because they're totally unexpected non sequiturs. I recovered and said, "Hmmm. I think it's necessary that a person first drink at least a fifth of gin every day for twenty years, PLUS have no hair on his chest, before he can get cirrhosis." Chubby said, "No shit. Seems like a lot of gin." and we lit our second of two morning walking-to-school cigarettes. What a beautiful morning, I was feeling much better about life.

Chubby and I only have one class together so I don't see a lot of him during the day. I thought a lot about him though, today particularly. Chubby is growing-up and making friends and doing other stuff... but even so, I can see our friendship bond is still wicked strong in spite of that, and maybe stronger because of that. It was time I try making another friend or two myself... expanding my horizons or some such thing.

It didn't take me more than a second to think of the guy I'd like to get to know better... definitely, Rob Dickers. He's in two of my classes and we have the same lunch period, and his locker is near mine... so I see quite a bit of him. We're casual acquaintances... friendly, but not buddies. Since I'm now the senior editor for the school newspaper, maybe I can somehow use that to open a little conversation with Rob. I'll give it some thought during Geometry class... anything to avoid thinking about geometry is a good thing.

There's this little thing that he's totally unaware of... I've had sort of a crush on him since the beginning of the school year. And it's funny, but before fat Carl sort of "outed" me to myself, I'd never considered my interest in Rob as a "crush". In those olden days, I told myself merely that Rob was just a quiet, shy kid who might make a nice friend. Now I think I'd like to get a fist full of that crazy hairdo of his and see what that silky looking stuff feels like, or maybe see how his face feels against my face... things like that. So, obviously I'd like him to be more than just a friend... being a "friend" is a good place to start though.

Rob is our high school baseball team's second baseman... I know that much, and I know he's a pretty good student too, but other than those two things, I don't know much else. Well, ha ha... I mean, obviously I know what he looks like. He's my size, which is five foot, ten inches tall and slim, about a hundred and thirty pounds. Also like me, he has light blond hair, except his is curly and longish... almost like a soft, light blond, Afro hairdo. The thing I like most about his face is his mouth. It's super cute, like a little kid's. The nicest bow shaped lips I can ever remember seeing... and dimples that show-up with almost any facial movement... like I said, cute. That's a new concept for me where guys are concerned... thinking they're cute. It's new, but a lot of fun to check out the boys and evaluate their looks.

Some guys seem to have ultra pink tongues and gums and all the stuff inside their mouth... Rob's like that. Then there's his very white teeth, which look kinda thin, you know... as opposed to big teeth, and the tops ones are slightly separated. I don't know why exactly, but everything together makes his grin look like a little boy's grin. That's what he looks like when you can get him to grin... like some little kid caught stealing a cookie or something. He gives that little grin and then he looks away. Oh, and did I mention, he's very shy. I'm not really an outgoing kid myself, but I seem like a "Mr Personality, extrovert" compared to Rob.

Now that I've been thinking about Rob, something occurs to me for the very first time... what I actually would most like to do is kiss Rob on that sweet mouth of his. Damn, that's freaky because I couldn't stand even the thought of kissing Carl... or any other boy, until now... just Rob. The fact that I want to do it surprises the hell out of me. Oh my God, so many new things in my life lately. Carl saw my gayness before I did and he's done me a big favor by accelerating my acceptance of it... of my sexual nature. It was always there in my subconscious mind I suppose, but I was denying it in my conscious mind... or something like that.

I guess everyone eventually recognizes their true self... different people, at different ages. And, maybe some aren't able to act upon it right away.. it being more of a case of happenstance and I gotta admit that was my situation. Carl pushed me into recognizing "it" in myself, much more that me acting upon "it" on my own. Yeah, that fat Carl also predicted I'd be seeing things the way I'm now beginning to see them too...boys being cute, for example. So I gotta give him his props, he's smarter than I thought he was... about this gay stuff anyway. I didn't treat Carl with the respect he deserved. Instead, I took him for granted and thought of him as a bit of a dork... I should have been paying more attention to him and I should of been saying "thank you, Carl" more often.

Geometry class was half over and I hadn't come up with a plan that would let me easily open a dialogue with Rob yet. Maybe because I keep thinking about Carl or because I keep going back to thinking about Chubby and me and that strange thing about us changing roles. It has to do with my gayness also... not too long ago, I was sure Chubby was gay, and I didn't know what I was.

And now, I'm sure I'm gay and I don't know what Chubby is. The fact is, Carl and I are the only ones in the world who know I'm gay and Carl is the only gay person I know. Know for sure is gay, Chubby is still a suspect...

Then I thought about that horror show with Ricky Ortiz last night. It was the first time in my life that me and Chubby had ever actually been on opposite sides of something, of anything ... except, as it turned out, we weren't. Chubby was on my side when it counted the most, he stood up for me... not that shitbag, Ricky. I felt real good about that last night and even feel better about it today when everything has had a chance to sink in. Well, now Geometry class is over and I'd thought about everything except what I wanted to think about... starting a conversation with Rob.

The school day ground to a halt finally. I was at my locker putting books away, still without a plan for Rob when here he comes down the hall. He's walking with a couple of guys and, as usual, he isn't saying anything. Rob is popular, most members of Varsity sports teams are, but he's very quiet and unassuming too. Like I said, shy. Funny how some kids are so shy... it must be in their genes. Looking at him and thinking again, "he's cute".

It amazing to realize that I really am gay... it's still a very new concept to me. And, the fact that I'm thinking like a "gay" boy is different now too. A totally new realization about myself and a little bit of a scary one sometimes because I get to feeling kind of alone with it. Also, I find myself wondering how come I didn't realize all this earlier in life? That's something to ponder another time perhaps, because right now... what to do now about Rob? There he is two lockers down from me, and he's finally alone. I try for cool with... "Hi, Rob...wassup?" He sticks with being shy and, without actually looking at me, says in a quiet voice, "Oh, Hi Dylan. Gee, I meant to congratulate you a while back... you know, when I heard you'd gotten the senior editor's position. You write good and you deserve the position.. congratulations."

That was a long speech for Rob, and unexpected. I thanked him and came up with an idea on the spot, just like that! "Hey Rob, would you be interested in being a reporter for the newspaper next year?" He closed his locker and came over to lean against my open locker door as I was jamming my back pack inside.

Up close, his blue eyes looked like there was a light shining behind each one, his eyebrows were very light and perfectly shaped. Very healthy looking, pinkish-white skin, completely smooth... he has that blotch of dark, rosy pink on each cheek that is rare for guys. And, this is crazy, but I stared at his hairline too... it's so perfectly straight, following the contour of his forehead... his hair above it was full bodied and shining, so clean. In fact, that's the over all impression I got... Rob was ultra clean, it's like he's brand new. He said, "What's wrong?" when he noticed me staring at him, my mouth slightly open.

I shook my head, said, "Ha ha, sorry, Rob... I space out sometimes." I told him what I had in mind for his reporter's job next year, "Ya know, about twenty percent of the senior class is on a varsity sports team, right? And, I thought it would be interesting if the other eighty percent of us got an inside look at how the elite twenty percent see things here at school. What's it like looking through the eyes of a student athlete. Ya know, this would be for next year, as a senior. What do ya think?" He said, "I'm so flattered you'd think of me for this, Dylan. I'm surprised you even knew I was on the baseball team." I told him he was the very first person I thought of when I got this idea, "I swear, Rob, it's true... I thought of you". I could be sincere about that because it's basically true. Obviously, because I'd just thought of it that second.

Rob looked away and blushed a dark pink, which matched the color of his cheek blotches, same dark rosy pink all over his face...from his forehead to his chin. He mumbled, "Thank you so much, Dylan." I wanted to hug him! Instead, I asked if he'd walk with me for a bit since we both go home the same direction, for the first six blocks anyway, and he was excited, saying... "Sure, I'd like to walk with you." I couldn't believe that he thought walking with me was something cool to do.

As we walked I asked him directly if he'd like to be on the paper and he said, "Oh yeah, definitely. Those kinds of extra curricular activities look good on college applications. The only thing is, you'll have to guide me along... you know, spend some one-on-one time with me." I was like, "Oh, of course Robby, I'll give you all the time you need." He chuckled and bumped my shoulder with his shoulder saying, "Only my little brother and my Mom call me Robby anymore." Quickly saying I was sorry, he piped in with, "No, not at all... I like it." So, "Robby", it is.

We agreed to get together after school one day soon to kick some ideas around. It was so easy to talk to him and I was kind of giddy thinking about working one-on-one. Rob turned left on Waverly Road and I went straight. The rest of the walk home I spent thinking about how I missed having Chubby to walk home with. I missed his rants, and his factoids, and his energy. I didn't even smoke a cigarette. It's more fun when I'm sharing them with him. After saying "Hi" to Mom and putting on my running outfit, I was off to do my four mile run. Running is addictive and my Mom says I have an addictive personality... same for Chubby, we get in a grove with something and don't want to change anything about it.

Naturally, as I ran, I thought about tomorrow and meeting with my Marine again. Hard to believe it was just yesterday that I met him. I think he might have had almost as much to do with me acknowledging my feelings for Robby as fat Carl has had. They both brought me "out", so ta speak. Frankly, I'm looking forward to my second encounter with the Marine. I've been vacillating back and forth with that, but "seeing him again" is the winner. At the two mile point I took the rest area cut off trail and came around the group of trees half expecting the Marine to be there. He wasn't though, no one was.

Looking around for thirty seconds... then in slow motion I went through the steps he put me through yesterday. First, all alone, I had no trouble starting to pee. Then I put my wrist under my chin, but with no hair on my arm it didn't feel like when he did it at all. Over at that bench, leaving my shorts and jockstrap cup under my nuts like they were for my pee, I stood up straight with my hands clasped behind my back the way the Marine ordered me to stand and got the hardest boner just thinking about him sucking my dick.

"No way I'm jerking off here", "no way I'm jerking off here"... that's what I kept telling myself as I groped my stiff cock jogging stiff legged around the rest area and praying no one showed-up... my cock soon

softened enough to get it back in the jockstrap cup. As soon as I was all put back together, I smacked myself on my ass like the Marine did and off I flew, running like I was doing the hundred yard dash... same as yesterday. When I got winded, way down the trail, I slowed to a jog thinking, "Holy shit!... that Marine is so hot! " Now I was excited and anxious for tomorrow afternoon to get here. Before that, I'd better take care of my pubes... my bush, as the Marine called it. Not much of a bush actually, but how to propose this to Chubby tonight?

That evening Chubby was home right on time after work and we were almost comfortable with each other although it remained slightly awkward with both of us purposely not mentioning last night. I'd saved Chubby's salad from yesterday and he was eating that with Ken's Italian dressing while I put our extra large mac and cheese in the microwave. I got out glasses for our Snapple drinks and then sliced some crusty Italian bread... keeping bust since we weren't talking much. When I looked over at Chubby, he was looking at me... he said, "How was the run today, Dylan? I miss running with you, dude. I miss walking home from school with you too." That started us talking a little more, I put on a Counting Crows CD for some back-ground music and we started relaxing with each other... like we use to be all the time.

We did homework and went down to watch the Red Sox like always. Chubby says, "Let's do our legs first, Dylan." As we started to get the razor and shaving creme out he added, " And, I gotta tell ya... we're stuck with this shaving routine for the foreseeable future. I'd be wicked embarrassed letting the guys at work see my leg hair growing in... then they'd know I'd been shaving them. Fuck, why'd we start this, anyway?" I reminded him it was his idea years ago when he was getting hair on his legs and I hadn't started growing any yet. He goes, "Oh yeah. I can't even blame it on you, can I?." He said it in a self deprecating, kind of funny way. I came right out and said, "No, that one was your's, but you can blame this one on me. I was just thinking how cool it might be to shave our pubes at the same time we do our legs." Chubby jumped right on top of that idea and took over the proceedings. "Hey, dude.. random! You first, Dylan. It's your idea."

He got the barber clippers and I finished getting our regular leg shaving stuff out. "Guess you're gonna need to let it all hang out, Dylan. Get those jockeys off." He was joking some, but this was right up his alley. I should have expected this reaction because he's been insisting for months that we shave some of our lower pubes at the top of our thighs. I'd forgotten about that. No hesitating, I pulled off my shorts and jockeys. As I mentioned earlier, we're real comfortable with seeing each other naked. Chubby says, "Take your socks off too, Dylan. I want to massage your feet first. Haven't done that this week." He was slightly up-tight when he said that because he has that crazy foot fetish and he gets a bit aroused... that's what it looked like to me anyway.

So I sat on the toilet seat in the basement's half-bath and Chubby massaged, smelled, licked and sucked on my feet until his entire almost five inches of boner could be seen sideways in his shorts. He made little quiet humming sounds along with some groans as he fondled and made love to my feet. I don't have even a touch of foot fetish, but watching Chubby get so aroused did get my dick firming up a little. His foot fondling went on for twenty minutes... the TV is in a direct line from where I sat so I mostly watched the game while Chubby enjoyed his fetish.

The way he sucked on my big toe was kind of erotic, even to me. He'd lick slowly up the arch of my foot, that lick ending with my big toe in his mouth where he gave it as much tongue all over my toe as the Marine had given my dick. Guess what I was thinking? ...looking at that cute face of Chubby's while he was sucking my dick instead of my toe... whoa! I need to keep myself under control. Chubby had his eyes lightly closed for most of the twenty minutes and all I could think of was, "I'll bet you anything he ain't doing this with Ricky... he needs me to do this with",

I was glad to have that going for me.

Chubby finally took a deep breath, said, "Oh man, your feet needed a lot of attention tonight, Dylan." He took another deep breath, adjusted his crotch and asked, "How do your feet feel now?" I told him "great" and after one more deep breath he turned on the clippers and within ten seconds all my pubes lay around the base of the toilet. "That was cool." he said, then added, "We should have thought of this sooner." While he was wetting down my right leg he said, "Ah, you know, that... Ah, in the past it's sorta, sometimes... you know, sometimes this kinda thing makes me spunk in my pants." Chubby wasn't looking at me when he mumbled that, he was looking at my crotch, brushing a few stray pubes off me, onto the floor.

Well, I could have really made it hard on him by breaking his balls about it, but we're still in a delicate stage of getting to be close buddies again... plus, I like him too much for that. It would hurt his feelings, he's very sensitive. Of course, just for the record, he "always" spunks, not "sorta, sometimes, maybe" like he said. Anyway, I go... "Sure, Chubby. I know that. No problem, bro. Completely natural." He did look up then, sort of a quick look out of the corners of his eyes with that tiny grin of his, nodding his head like he was proud of me... for "getting it right", I guess.

Chubby nodded his head one more time and without further comment shaved my right leg. Then my left leg. He said, "You better stand up now, Dylan. I think I can get your pubes easier that way". Standing up nice and straight with my hands clasped behind my back as a joke... a joke Chubby didn't get... how could he? He didn't know about me and the Marine. He went about wetting my pubic stubble, smoothed on shaving cream and then took his time shaving me nice and smooth. Chubby had no hesitation about grabbing hold of my dick to move it out of the way. It all went pretty quickly... still, by the time he was done my dick would have to be labeled a full fledged "boner". Chubby ignored that too for the time being and simply said, "There, fuck! That looks so cool, Dylan. Come on, do mine now." then he added, "You got a longer boner than I do, Dylan. You're lucky." I just said, "Dude!"

I used the barber clippers on his pubes, moving his smallish penis this way and that. It occurred to me that this is the first time either of us have ever touched the other guy's privates. My dick had been touched many times by Carl, who thought he owned it, and by the Marine, who will own it if I'm not careful.

I tried to make my mind blank, but the mutual penis touching and the whole idea of shaving each others' bush was getting me aroused. Putting it out of my mind didn't seem to work because my penis has a mind of it's own... and in this instance it was determined to get harder and harder, eventually sticking at least six inches straight out from my crotch. I was so mad at myself for not putting my shorts back on before starting on Chubby's pubes. By the time I was done shaving Chubby's stubble, holding his cock the whole time, his cock had gotten as rock hard as mine. Breathing hard, I definitely felt I was going to cum any second.

This is NOT what I thought would happen... it's what I expected Chubby to do, not me. Concentrating hard, imagining myself sitting in a tub of cold water, hoping this would get my dick to back off, but by now it was vibrating and finally I went, "Ahhhh! ohhhh...oh, damn!" and, facing away from Chubby, I stroked my throbbing boner. The foreskin sheath slid easily back and forth over the sensitive, swollen head of my penis. I went, "Oh Oh Oh", my body shuddered... three more fast, tight strokes and a string of cum a foot long shot out and dropped to the bathroom floor. I stroked it again wicked fast, my eyes and mouth tightly shut, making soft moaning sounds now as another shorter spurt of cum plopped on the floor. Then droolings as I kept stroking, slower now. I managed to grunt out, "Ohhhh, Jesus! That was not in my plans, Chubby. Man, I'm so embarrassed, but it just happened, dude. You know Chub, like you said earlier."

Chubby said, "Whoa, that was da bomb, man! I never saw you spunk before. Fuck, I never saw anyone spunk before... in person, I mean. Wow, watch me..." ! I noticed his boner now... like mine, sticking straight out like a short pipe. I always though Chubby would have a five inch boner, but it might be closer to four and a half inches, then five inches. The other half inch was his foreskin. He had the cutest damn penis I ever saw... everything about Chubby was cute. I can't believe I never recognized that before this.

Standing with stiff legs, Chubby used the circle formed by his thumb and index finger tightly around his boner to manipulate his foreskin back and forth over the dark red head of his cock... his hand was a blur of activity. I watched in fascination while he jerked-off for about three minutes... his face all scrunched up, blowing spit sprays out a small opening between his lips, then he arched his back thrusting his groin out as far as he could and said, "Ooooahhh" and a hard, thin, two foot squirt of cum shot out hitting the bathroom door. Chubby squeaks out, "Oh yeah! Shit! Ohhh" and two more quick squirts of spunk splatter on the tile floor... then he drained his nuts, the cum drooling down his little root. Chubby grunts out, "Fuck! That was awesome. Damn!" He sat down on the toilet seat again, breathing hard, still stroking his cock. "Whoa, Dylan. It was hot having you watch me. God damnit to hell, what's wrong with us two. We should have started doing this years ago. Lots of guys do it together, ya know?"

A couple of months ago something like this wouldn't even enter my mind... that's why we didn't do this together earlier. I certainly didn't want to tell Chubby that because then I'd have to tell him why I changed my mind. In other words, I didn't want to confess that fat Carl fucked me into realizing my nature... and I certainly didn't want to mention the Marine. I just said, "Yeah, you're right Chub. It's very cool." Chubby then added in a conspiratorial manner, "We probably should keep this to ourselves though... don't ya think?" To that I said, "Positively, dude. Keep it private."

Then Chubby began taking credit for the whole thing... he goes, "It's nice to see you lighten the fuck up a little bit, Dylan... and have some fun." Then, as we pulled our shorts back on and cleaned up the bathroom, Chubby spent ten minutes rationalizing why it was cool to do what we did. By the time he was done you'd have thought we should be ashamed of ourselves for not wacking off together sooner. "Being cautious is one thing Dylan, but don't be a fucking prude. Hey, Dude... I'm not saying you are a prude, but just that you need to have an open fucking mind once in a while.

Shit, we missed some primo jerking-off years already.

That's all I'm saying to ya. For Christ sake this isn't rocket science." I just nod my head and try not to snicker when Chubby lectures me like that. The boy is so serious about it...

Trying real hard not to, but I couldn't hold back the laughing after his last comment. His cute, pompous lecture to me with that absurd line of reasoning... it strikes me as really funny! He's like, "What the fuck you laughing at now?" I hugged him and he squirmed for a second at first, but then we ended up with a very sweet, kinda longish, hug.... our packages pressed together caused both of us to spring semi-boners. Neither of us had anything to say after the hug. We finished putting the barbering stuff away and crawled into our favorite recliner together to watch the rest of the game.

Chubby didn't need to hump my leg tonight, we just watched Tim Wakefield mystifying the A's hitters with his screwball. Chubby was snuggled up to my side real nice. I thought about last night and that prick, Ricky... and compared that to this night's great experience. What a difference twenty four hours can make. After the game, and just before Chubby went upstairs to his place, he had a serious look on his face telling me, "Dylan, that was so awesome tonight, dude. You and me, we're like the closest buddies ever. That was fun!" He put his hand down the front of his shorts and felt around before he finished with, "Feels good too." So, he was referring to shaving our pubes... the jerking off never happened, in his mind... till next time.

He says, "Later, Dylan..see ya!", I had a much more peaceful sleep tonight than last night and in the morning... the first thing I did was feel my baby smooth belly where my pubes use to be. The second thing I did was feel my heart beating fast, thinking about meeting the Marine again after school today. I was still experiencing a combination of excitement and a touch of fear... in equal portions. That formula continued all day.

On the way to school Chubby and me never even mentioned last night's activities. It's now part of the Dylan/Chubby experience though and I'm pretty sure the shaved pubes will remain part of our routine for quite some time... I sure hope so. The jerking off together is a little more dicey, but I'm betting I haven't seen the last of that either... and once again, I sure hope I haven't. There was something else too. Hard to put my finger on it, but this morning I could sense Chubby acting tighter with me... the pat on my back and the grin "hello" conveyed a closeness that's been missing recently. I know he really liked that it was me who came up with that outlandish suggestion to shave our pubic hairs last night. Usually it's Chubby doing the outlandish... I'm betting he appreciates having company in "outlandish land". Looks like icky-Ricky don't have a chance of splitting Chubby and me up after all.

School dragged all day. I was anxious to get on the run and meet my Marine. At the same time... I had a constant nervous, scary feeling in the pit of my stomach. This was something completely new to me... nervous, scary anticipation AND excited, desirable anticipation, all at once... opposite emotions at the thought of the same thing. My aroused penis stirring, my heart nervously beating too fast and my hands with a scary tremor to them. Jittery the entire day... much of the day I was absolutely positive I wasn't going to meet him. It was simply too nerve racking...

I guess mostly I was afraid of him being in control of everything again, and not knowing what he might do to me. Other times during the day I was sure I had to see him again so I could experience the very new, thrilling sensations he gave me... the way he had my whole body tingling and buzzing with sexual pleasure.

That was a lot to turn my back on. Christ, I'm seventeen years old and I'm finally dipping my toe in the sexual ocean to determine the temperature... metaphorically speaking. It's about time too.

At the end of the day, while closing down the school newspaper, all of a sudden I knew I was going to go through with it. The scary, weird feeling in my belly existed stronger than ever... that didn't change, but I knew I was going to meet the Marine just the same. Smoking two cigarettes on the way home I tried to calm my nerves and talk myself into a realistic frame of mind. He's apparently married and therefore he must be bi. What else can it be? He's taken a liking to me and if I can grow some balls real quick, I just may find out a little more about gay sex... and, at the same time, experience the sexual thrill of my life...

thus far in my life anyway. Also, I wanted to feel proud of myself a little bit too... after all, it's gutsy to do what I'm going to do.

At home, Mom, in a concerned way asked me.. "Dylan, what's wrong? You're acting strange, honey." I told her, "I'm not acting strange, Mom. Don't be silly, everything is great" and off I went to my room to change. She yelled after me, "Your voice sounds funny too". In my room I looked at myself in the mirror and thought, "maybe I'm also looking a little funny ". OK, fuck it! ... I'm really nervous! So what? The important thing is that I'm committed now... so, with my running stuff on, I go out the door carrying my bottle of water, and begin my four mile run.

Jogging slowly, until I got warmed-up, I kept telling myself. "Act like a man for Christ sake... you've never been a wuss. Don't start now!" But, I gotta be honest... there's something about that Marine that draws me to him and there's something about him that scares me away too. I was more and more nervous the closer to the cut-off trail I got. Shaky as hell, but determined to experience this again. I had myself psyched to find out if it can possibly be as hot the second time as it was the first.... oh hell, I'm so freaking nervous about it though.

After running for about a half hour I saw the sign for the rest area turnoff trail right there in front of me.. and sure enough, without hesitating, I followed it... slowing down to a jog, and then walking the last ten yards. My heart was thumping and I was taking short, fast breaths as I again questioned myself... "why are you doing this?" I felt compelled to do it.

I can't EVER remember feeling this apprehensive about anything before in my life and, at the same time, having this high of a level of anticipation... my groin was definitely buzzing and I groped myself with both hands just before reaching the trees. Then I stopped completely and played with myself for another thirty seconds. That Marine was in my head for sure... damn, that guy is hot.

Getting myself under control and taking little hesitant steps I made it around the group of trees... and there he was. He was standing near the "pee" tree sweating and breathing a bit hard. Must have arrived a minute before me. I glanced down at my Swiss Army wristwatch... it was five minutes to three. The first thing I noticed is his brand new crisp, Marine-style, white side-wall, haircut. He looked so cool, so confident, so hot. Feeling totally unsure of myself and a little bit scared, I stopped and waited, panting slightly... silently telling myself to "calm the fuck down!". The Marine glanced up without changing expression, he didn't seem the least bit surprised to see me.

He looked in my direction for a few seconds, took two steps away from the tree, pointed back at it and said, "Take your pee." I swallowed hard and, standing up as straight as I could, I walked slowly, like a zombie, over to the tree. Spreading my legs slightly, I pulled the front of my running shorts and my jockstrap cup down to catch under my nuts... and waited. I didn't look, but I could sense him behind me. His hairy arm came around my neck, under my chin... more firmly then the last time. He spoke in a no nonsense manner, "Don't wait for me to tell you what to do every time ...get up against me tight, and stay like that." Gulping and coughing, I leaned back against him feeling that slightly sweaty, hairy arm tickling under my chin.

The fleeting thought that "he could kill me in a instant" flew through my brain and I discarded it just as fast as it had arrived. I took a very deep inhale and held it. He was damp with perspiration which soon made the back of my T shirt damp as well. Adjusting his hairy arm so my chin was raised up awkwardly, he used his other hand to feel my shaved belly and down all around my cock and balls... he said nothing. I tried to relieve the pressure under my chin by going up on my toes as he fondled my teen package. Then, rubbing next to my nuts on my thigh, and finally running his hand behind to grab a fistful of my buttocks and squeezing hard. Oh my God, the feel of him...

Waiting for him to tell me what to do, up on my toes like that... my legs got jittery, my heart beat hard and fast, and I was getting dizzy. In that hypnotic voice, with his lips brushing my ear, and without the scratchy five o'clock shadow today, he said, real low.. "Exhale! Breath the fuck out or you'll pass the fuck out. Relax, like I told you last time." He rubbed the side of his face against the side of my head just above my ear and I could feel his semi-swollen eight inch cock against my buttocks. Him being three or four inches taller than me, his organ rubbed against the top portion of my ass. His penis was sideways in his running shorts and it didn't feel like he had a jockstrap on this afternoon.

Doing what he said, I gasped out an exhale, but immediately had to do a huge inhale of another wheezy, deep breath... my breathing was totally out of it's normal pattern. I was all fucked up and my mind was saying over and over, "you shouldn't have come, you shouldn't have come" while all the time leaning back against the Marine with all my might. He wrapped both arms around me now, leaned back, and casually lifted me off my feet... his cock was getting harder as he put his lips against my ear again and said, "OK. It's OK. Calm down. You're excited, I understand that, but ya got to breath, for fuck sake!." Both my hands were on his wrist again, the one he had holding me around my stomach. Shortly he lowered me back down so my feet were touching ...my cock and balls still just hanging out there, they bounced when my feet made contact with the ground.

He continued to hug me, swaying slightly and I laid my head back against his shoulder,,, he nuzzled the hair on side of my head with the side of his chin. It was a surreal moment in time for me... as if I was in a different dimension or dreaming or something. Two minutes we were like that, and I got real relaxed, my breathing had slowly become regular again although my heart did continue beating too hard and fast. Sensing I had recovered sufficiently from my near frenzied state, he said, "That's good" and just like that, he took my penis in his fingers and said, "Pee"... a stream came right out of me and I did a nice long pee, followed by a shoulder shudder, his flick of my dick to get the last drops off, and then me doing that deep breath of relief after a much needed piss.

All business again, the Marine said... "OK, you need to come over to the bench with me now... concentrate, and do everything the way I told you last time". I felt nervous again. Like Wednesday, he held onto my cock and led me over to the bench, using my penis as a short leash... me taking little, fast steps outside his feet so I didn't step on his heels. When he sat down, I stood as straight as a I could, hands clasped behind me. I was hoping he'd compliment me again for doing it the right way, and maybe compliment me for my shaved bush too. He'd already given me that one compliment... when I'd calmed down, he'd said, "That's good". It was quickly apparent though that he took for granted I'd stand-up straight and have my bush "taken care of"... he made no mention of either.

Standing before him, averting my eyes, with my hands clasped behind me, I had the absurd realization that my penis was erect. That totally took me by surprise... when did that happen? It was sticking six inches straight out from my shaved crotch. Maybe it got hard when he used it as a leash to lead me over here... but, no... now I recalled that it got hard near the end of my piss. How unusual! Sitting up straight, and still somehow making it look comfortable, the Marine casually took a long pull on his bottle of water and then wiped his face with a small towel he retrieved from the waistband of his running shorts.

When I dared, I stole a peek at him... he looked so tough, but kind of boyish too... like a kid playing a tough Marine. It seemed that every time I looked at him he appeared younger than he looked the time before, but honestly, he turned me on more and more every minute I was with him, it was crazy. Not just his hot looks, but the way he did everything... even drinking that water. He didn't swallow ... gulp, gulp, gulp... like I do, he allowed the water to just roll down his throat. All of a sudden, I really wanted him to like me, and maybe tell me I'm special... like he did Wednesday afternoon.

Thirst quenched, face wiped off... he stood up and looked me over the same way he did before. Except, this time he also put his hands under my T shirt and ran both palms of his hands over my chest, around my back, and down around my belly... then down to grasp my boner and stroke it slowly. He said, "Get back up straight!" and I stiffened my body again. When he was rubbing me I inadvertently slouched because his touch felt good and I relaxed my posture. After feeling my body a bit, he nodding his head to himself, sat down, and pulled out his long, hard boner. It was too long to stick straight out of his crotch like mine did... his went out hard and straight, but slumped down near the head, mostly due to it's length and the weight of that swollen head, I guess. If I was braver I'd say something about a slouching boner, but he probably wouldn't see the irony, nor the humor in it... instead I tried standing up even straighter.

Taking my nuts in his fist, he squeezed them too hard and, with my nuts still in his fist, he looked up at my face with those glowing blue eyes of his. Squeezing my balls hurt, but I scrunched my face and took it without a whimper. "Good', is all he said. Then he put my boner in his mouth and sucked it fast with strong pulls from his lips and tongue... he sucked me off like he was sucking on an fat peppermint stick that he wanted to consume in record time.. it was as if there actually was some yummy flavor coming off my bone hard penis.

When a small squeak escaped my lips as I squirmed with the sensations of his mouth, those blue eyes of his looked up again and I clamped my mouth shut tight. Then, taking my cock out of his mouth, he held it sideways against my thigh and began sucking small parts of my shaved belly with his lips.. it was a combination kissing/sucking motion that pulled my flesh between his front teeth for a light bite... shivers and goose bumps ran all around my body... with me shivering as if a cold breeze had blown over me, he went back to sucking on my cock some more.

He was sucking it gently now and wasn't stroking himself like last time. His thumb and index finger of his left hand held my penis at it's base, down on my belly, and the other hand was between my legs rubbing from just behind my balls, back to my asshole using his middle finger, I think... he did it over and over.

It was getting sweaty and slippery down there... then, he did that move where he pushes his nose into my belly and swallows the head of my boner down his throat. This time when he swallowed the head of my cock and I went up on my toes, he pushed his middle finger all the way up my hole. It made me come down off my toes and then quickly back up on them again... sputtering and shuddering and making "Aaaahhh" sounds.

He fucked me with that finger, fast and faster... never taking it all the way out, just rubbing it against my prostate, back and forth, back and forth, back and forth... all the while bobbing his head so my boner was in his throat, then out, then in, then out... I didn't even have a warning before a burning blast of cum shot up from my nuts and out my cock into the Marine's mouth. It felt like a torrent of teen cum, but most likely it wasn't much more than the normal amount... just felt like it was a lot more. He sucked my pee slit until every drop of cum was accounted for. I was blubbering and blowing sprays of spit out a small opening between my teeth. What a climax! It was all over too fast... other than that, it was the most intense feeling I've ever had.

When the Marine pulled off my softening cock, he sucked my nuts into his mouth... another totally unexpected action. Dazed by it all, I suddenly realized that I was leaning down with my arms around the back of his neck. How I got in that position, I don't recall. The hairs on the back of his head were so short it felt like sandpaper back there. I rubbed up his head and when I got near the top the hairs were slightly longer and they were so soft... it was surprising to me that this hard Marine would have such soft hair. Still in a bizarre daze, I used both my hands rubbing all around his head, up the back and up the sides, feeling the contrasting sandpaper and soft hair.

This was not to the Marine's liking... he pushed my bag of nuts out of his mouth with his tongue and said, "God damnit! Stand up straight. Hands behind your back". He said it trying to sound all pissed-off, but he was himself aroused and out of breath, so it didn't sound real scary. None the less, I got back in position quickly, then sneaking a look down... and, oh my God, I've never seen a longer cock than the one he had at that moment.

He was wiping the finger he'd had up my ass on the little towel and then he tightened his jaw and closed his eyes for a second while he stroked that long, long boner of his four times... a stream of pre cum drooled out and hit the ground. He went, "Oooh" ...it was muttered so quietly I could just barely hear it. As I stood there straight and tall for him, he sat up straight on the bench drinking more water and then took a couple of deep breaths. Like I said, he was definitely aroused and I was feeling proud of myself that it was partly me that had made him that way.

He stood up, blew out another deep breath and said, "Now you're going to suck me off. Do you get on your knees or sit down when you give head?" I quickly thought to myself... "Well, let's see...I sucked off fat Carl initially sitting down, but he quickly insisted I do it on my knees... So, I guess knees". Quietly saying, "Knees", I got down in front of him and waited to see if he had instructions or something.

He moved us over a few feet so that my back was against the plank of pressure treated wood that made-up our bench and he said, "OK, Kid... show me what ya got."

Immediately I licked from his balls to the head of his boner where more precum had squeezed out of his pee slit. Taking the head of his cock inside my mouth, I sucked the precum off his prick and swallowed it. There wasn't any question in my mind that I enjoyed doing this so I was the calmest I've been since walking around those trees at the entrance. I even got to like sucking Carl's cock near the end and now I tried to remember the way he had taught me to do it... trying to put everything I had into pleasing the Marine. He had both his hands lightly on my head... his fingers playing with my hair. Sucking and licking the top half of his boner and then rubbing his cock's head against the inside of my cheek and the roof of my mouth... doing the things Carl had instructed me to do for him.

I thought it was going quite well, and I was actually getting my own stiffy back... just from sucking off the Marine... I wasn't even stroking myself. Not surprisingly, he smelled so masculine... that excited me and so did his thick, dark pubic bush. I had one hand around his boner and the other one was ruffling through his damp bush and then lightly squeezing his large bag of nuts as I sucked him off for all I was worth. After five minutes the Marine muttered, "No, no" and tightened his two-hand grip on my head to over-power my neck muscles and now he was manipulating my head's movements as he choose. "Swallow it" he muttered, not particularly in a pissed-off way. Adding off-handedly, "By now you should be taking it down your throat." He began directing his cock head against the back of my throat and naturally I gaged like mad... almost throwing-up.

"You'll need to learn to do this eventually so it might as well be now. Relax your throat muscles... just think of it as swallowing a large mouthful of something." His instructions were made in a matter of fact manner as if he were talking about me learning to tie a knot... or is that a Navy thing? I'm not sure, but I do know it was very unpleasant and uncomfortable. I would have tried to back away from him and from the thrust at my throat except my back was against that bench and the bench was cemented to the ground. I tried to shake my head "no" but he held it too tightly. Relentlessly he poked his hard boner at the entrance to my throat and each time my gag reflects repelled it.

My eyes were tearing like crazy... my stiffy was now limp as it can get... and I wasn't calm anymore. I didn't want to do this, but he wouldn't stop poking the back of my throat so I let my teeth scrape his boner and the lights went out in my head for a half a second. It took me a few more seconds to realize he'd slapped my face with his open hand. "The next time your teeth touch my pecker you are going out for the count. You got that?" and he left my head loose enough for me to nod up and down indicating that "yes" I got it. My ears kept ringing for a few minutes, but it was actually helpful because it kept my mind off my throat and, sure enough, the head of his cock went down past my gag reflex, into my throat... and then quickly out.

It scared me and fascinated me at the same time. Three pokes later and his boner's head went down my throat again and this time he left it there for a couple of seconds. When I started to panic he pulled it back out, but pushed it right back in again. Tears continued running down my face and mucus from my nose as he forcibly trained me to deep throat his cock. I don't know how long we did it, but I hated every second of it... I hated him, and it hurt my throat, and I couldn't breath when I thought I needed to, and I promised myself that if I lived through this, never again... never will I ever do this again. I've learned my lesson. This Marine is dangerous!

The tears had turned into a whimpering cry, but he wouldn't stop and his cock head was going in routinely by now. I prayed it was over... now that he was getting into my throat, surely he's satisfied... but, no.. he switched to concentrating on seeing how deep in my throat he could get his cock. With no mercy, it soon was going half way down my throat rather easily. Then he concentrated on getting the second half in my mouth and down my throat.

Before he was done I had completely surrendered my head and throat to the Marine and, as a result, with his strong hands controlling my head I eventually found my nose pressed repeatedly into his pubes as he fucked my throat with the entire length of his full boner... all the way in and all the way out. I gaged at times and gasped for breath, but he was going to fuck my mouth come hell or high water. As he got in a rhythm sliding his slippery, saliva dripping, long boner in and out of my throat I concentrated on keeping my lips over my teeth... I was meticulous about it as if it was my vitally important job to pleasure the Marine... in some part of my brain I felt like I belonged to him by now.

Complying totally with him... gulping and doing the swallowing motion he instructed me to do... it all aided insertion and withdrawal, and with the huge amount of saliva his action was generating he was soon humping easily in and out of my throat.... like I said, with a comfortable, rhythmic, thrusting of his hips... almost a dance move to a medium beat. It shocked me when I realized I was stroking my own boner agan.. when did I start doing that? I stroked my hard cock in rhythm with every thrust he made down my throat.

I couldn't hardly believe I'd gotten a boner under those circumstances, but there it was, and after a while I got that feeling deep in my balls which quickly resulted in me spurted out a dollop of cum... it happened just ten seconds before his eruption. The Marine was pulling up out of my throat when he grunted out, "Ohhhh!" and a large splash of cum hit the back of my throat... some I gulped down and swallowed, but most I sucked up into my sinus cavity and coughed, then blew a large cum bubble out my right nostril.

The Marine had his eyes tightly closed as the second smaller cum load hit the roof of my mouth and spilled out around his boner at both sides of my mouth... the cream drooled down my chin and on down to my neck... quite a lot too. He roughly pulled his boner out to stroke it with fast, tight strokes. A shot of cum hit my forehead and then one hit my chin and he squeezed his cock tightly dragging out drools of cum that he spread around my face with the head of his cock.

He kept groaning and taking shuddering big inhales, apparently unable to get enough oxygen into his system. I was desperately trying to clear my sinus cavities by blowing out through my nostrils... I did it so hard my ears stopped-up. Strings of his creamy cum flew out each nostril, but I couldn't get it all out... it was too sticky. All I smelled and tasted was the Marine's cum. It smelled vaguely like a damp kitchen sponge and had a faint taste of hamburger. My climax had me groping my cock and squeezing my nuts... god damn, that second climax of mine had felt good!

He staggered back two steps still stroking his long boner and still breathing hard. Sweat covered both our faces and of course my face was also drenched with his cum load. He puffed his cheeks out and blew out a last big exhale before saying, "OK, that was OK". He stepped back toward me now with a smirk on his face... he cupped the back of my head with one hand and with the other he smeared his cum evenly over my face and into my hair. The smirk was almost a smile... almost friendly. "Get up. I'll help clean you up." He'd been wiping his sweaty face with his small towel again. I incongruously thought, "I was right, he's not wearing a jockstrap today ... maybe I won't wear one while running either".

He poured water from his bottle onto the towel and began wiping the cum and sweat off my face... I could detect the faint smell of shit on the little towel from when he wiped the finger he'd had up my ass in the towel. After two swipes he snapped, "Stand up straight! Do I have to tell you that every fucking time?" I got up straight with my hands behind my back and he continued with my facial clean-up mumbling, "Slouching is disrespectful". Then he wiped at my hair, but I knew he couldn't get all the cum out of there. He pressed the damp towel to my nose and squeezed it there with a finger on either side... then said, "Blow hard" he made me blow four times before there wasn't any more cum to get out. I could breath again through my nose.

Heaving the towel into a wire mesh trash basket, he pulled my jockstrap cup and running shorts up, and said, "Did ya like that?" I'd been thinking all along how much I hated it, so it surprised me when I said, "It was so hot and sexy." He snapped, "Answer my question... did you like it?" I mumbled, "Yes, I liked it". He said, "I thought you would, but it's made me late so I'll take off from here first today. Give me a couple of minutes head start, then you can follow. Monday, right here... same time" ...and just like that he took off with a fast jog leaving me standing up tall... at attention I guess is what you'd call it.

Wondering why and if, in fact, I actually had liked it, I went over to sit on the bench to contemplate matters. My throat hurt, I didn't have to contemplate that, it was obvious. And my face was still stinging where he slapped me.... other than that, nothing came to me from my contemplating. I looked around at the different parts of this rest area thinking, "What the hell am I doing?" Did I actually like that?... I know I told him I did, but did I? And, hadn't I promised myself ten minutes earlier that I'd never do this again?... and then in my head, I admitted to myself that I had, in fact, liked it? How can this be?

My contemplating petered-out with this thought... hey, I've never actually been in the rest area's lavatory over there. I walked over and went in the front door.

There was a little foyer with a bunch of health pamphlets encouraging exercise... both running and biking. Also, "don't start forrest fires" and "don't litter" pamphlets as well as a list of penalties for doing some of those things. This is a Massachusetts State forrest and so of course there are a lot of rules and regulations... no mention of gay blow jobs... deep throating, or otherwise though.

I pushed into the lavatory proper and was pleasantly surprised at how clean it was... apparently the State Parks people still service this place. Looking in a mirror I could see the Marine's fingers marks in red on the side of my face... still showing from that smack from fifteen minutes ago. I touched the red outline with my fingers and then felt my throat. It wasn't sore as in a sore throat when I get the flu... it was sore like it was hurt... and I guess it was. Leaving the lavatory I began jogging back down the rest area trail thinking that I may have liked it today, but I was positively convinced that I was never going to meet up with the Marine again.

After fifteen minutes or so I drank water from my bottle and noticed my throat felt OK. That's odd. The rest of the way home I tried not to think about anything. Back at the house I discovered a note from my Mom saying that she was at the supermarket. Good! I didn't feel like talking. Instead, I took a long shower and slowly began thinking about my deep throat experience. The first thing I realized is that the Marine apparently has some almost magical way, in addition to his far superior strength, to get me to do what he wants. This means I have no "free will" when I'm with him and, therefore, it's a very good thing that I'll be staying away from him.

Thinking about never seeing him again actually made me think about him. He was so handsome it was almost ridiculous.. add to that, I was now pretty sure he was even younger than I first thought. Maybe only two or three years older than me... he could still be a teenager. That is one super hot teenager, but how did he get this power, this magnetism he seems to have? The more I thought about me rubbing his head and that sandpaper feel and then the feel of his soft hair up further near the top of his head.. well, he just seems so unique I began to want to see him again.

I know I shouldn't ever take a chance seeing him again, but I wanted to anyway. His hands felt so steady whenever he touched me... he never seemed in doubt what to do to me next. It was fascinating to me. Maybe I like it best when he has me captured with his hairy wrist under my chin pulling my head back and up... the strength in his arm... hell, in his whole body, he's so fucking attractive... and scary.

Laying on my bed after the shower, with just my boxer underwear on, I went over every step of todays encounter with him and the more I thought about it the harder my cock got. Eventually I jerked off seeing points of light in my head, arching my back and shooting a nice string of cum that went straight up, and then down, landing on my bedspread ... the second little string went up and then flopped down on my boxers. I'd played with myself while thinking about the Marine and then did my jerk off with my cock sticking up through the boxer's pee opening in front. God damnit, it felt so hot. But, like the last time I wacked-off right after seeing the Marine, soon I was feeling like a piece of shit again. I felt as though I'd been like some wimp letting the Marine do whatever he wanted with me... for God sake, we didn't even know each other's name.

Getting hard on myself as I changed my boxers, I compared my pathetic behavior to those guys I'd read about who go to Men's lavatories at rest areas and put their dicks through holes in the toilet stall partitions, allowing total strangers to then suck them off, or God only knows what else. I challenged myself to start doing that, and maybe I could also hangout at the restroom in the bus terminal downtown and give blow jobs to homeless derelicts. I knew I was getting carried away, but why I so easily allowed myself to be used by the Marine mystified and intrigued me at the same time.

Then, while scrubbing at the cum stain on my bedspread, I got really pissed-off at myself for constantly highlighting the hot aspects of the Marine instead of the being more critical of my performance. I decided on two things... one: I, indeed, wasn't ever going back to the Parker Park rest stop and, two: I was going to call Carl and get some mentoring about this whole experience so I can understand it better. Maybe I'll be able to use the information for future reference. Carl's the only one I feel slightly comfortable talking about gay stuff with... and, he seems to know what he's talking about... the fat fuck.

And damn! why am I so mean to him in my mind all the time? Calling him a fat fuck and all. He's been pretty good to me.

When Chubby got home from his job, we had a quick dinner, then we went to the movies. Friday night at the eight-screen Movie Multiplex is a popular night for the movies and we ran into some of the window washing boys there, one of them wasn't Ricky, thank the Lord. The three guys Chubby introduced me to were OK, I suppose. Two were still in high school and one had dropped out of high school in the tenth grade. To be honest, they seemed like slightly rougher, tougher guys than Chubby and me. They also seemed to be on some mind altering substance tonight... booze or marijuana or something. They were all real loud, calling Chubby, Jeffrey-the-Giant. Maybe they thought "Jeff" started with the letter "G" or maybe they called him giant because he's short and small. Or, maybe they're just all hopped-up-druggie assholes. I was glad we were seeing a different movie then they were.

Standing in line for popcorn I saw Robby Dickers in another line and waved. He got his popcorn and came over to say "Hi". His younger brother, who he introduced as, Dodger, was a very cute fifteen year old with a great smile. I stared at him thinking, "Jeez, Dylan, you never use to look at other boys like you do now". We did a quick handshake and I introduced Chubby who was nice and friendly, like he always is. Robby looked so fresh... that beautiful complexion with the dark rosy pink blotches, one on each cheekbone, and the blue eyes with that light blond hair. I put my hand in my pocket to rub my semi hard cock a few times. Robby asked what day we could get together next week... we decided on Tuesday.

Robby and Dodger's movie was about to start so we split up. Watching them go... in an offhand manner, Chubby says, "Wow, rare to see a guy take his little brother to a Friday night movie." "Hmmm?", I mumbled, "I guess so Chubby, I never thought about it before, but yeah... it is". We saw a comedy tonight...Run Fat Boy Run... it was pretty good and got Chubby on a roll laughing... it gets contagious and we had a great time, but we were exhausted from the laughing by the end. On the bus going home after the movie, Chubby comes out with, "Don't get all bent out of shape Dylan, but after work tomorrow the boss is having a barbecue cookout at his house and there ain't no fucking way I can get out of going." He was looking out the bus window when he said that.

Looking over at the back of his head, I'm thinking... I know the boss is the foreman, and the foreman just happens to be Ricky Ortiz's father, and I know that this means I'll be by myself all day Saturday, and Saturday night too. But I also know I've got to stop being a baby about this kind of thing. Along that line, I was going to just stare at the back of Chubby's head and say nothing until he turned and looked at me, but I like him too much to make him uncomfortable so I said, "Just to be up-front about everything, Chubby... I hate that job you got and I hate that psycho Ricky too, but I'm OK that you got to do what you got to do, Dude. Have fun, I'm good." He turned now, with that slight grin on his lips, and looked me in the eyes. Then squeezing my hand briefly, he saids, "Thanks, Dylan... thanks for understanding, man". During the rest of the ride he told me all the reasons he wished he could get out of going to that barbecue, and ya know what... I didn't believe a word of it.

Sleeping-in Saturday morning felt great. I got up about the time my Mom did... around ten o'clock. We had a nice breakfast together and then she went off with Tris... first to the Spa for a "hair and nails" appointment and then clothes shopping. I'm so happy my Mom has such a good friend in Tris... friends make life so nice. After thinking about it for an hour, I finally said, "Fuck it!" and I called Carl. He was surprised to hear from me. When I asked if I could come over and talk with him he seemed reluctant. "Look dude, you dumped me almost a month ago... kinda hurt my feelings, ya know? ... especially after I spent all that time being a mentor for you. Now, totally without any kind of warning, you call me up and want to talk? What's up with that?"

It took me a few minutes to talk him into seeing me and I was kind of surprised to discoverer how much I really did want to talk with him. Explaining to him how I only feel comfortable discussing this type of thing with him,,, "you know dude, it's something complicated and, well...it's gay". He finally said, "Look Dylan, I was just about completely "over you" and then you call like this. Here's the deal, bring a condom and you can come over. Got it? You understand what I'm saying?" I told him I did and I would, but... after hanging up, I knew I wasn't going to.

Oh... I'm going over, but I not bringing a condom. I'm pretty sure he won't have sex with me unless he has one. If he has one of his own, what the hell... I wouldn't mind all that much if he screws me. I'm gay for Christ sake... and getting fucked feels good. Last time I was fucked was almost a month ago... by Carl of course, he's the only one who has ever done it to me. And since then, the Marine sucked me off twice and I sucked him off once. Those blow jobs are the only sex I've had in a month. Hardly qualifies me as a sexually active gay seventeen year old.. does it?

While making lunch I was feeling good that I called Carl... feeling good that I'd taken some action. It's important to me to get someone elses' impressions about the Marine... see if they're anything like my impression of him. Of course, I'm never going to see the Marine again. I'd just like to understand my reactions and attraction to him... that's all. Like I mentioned before, compile information in case I ever run into this situation again... I need to "be prepared"...just like the fucking Boy Scouts.

Carl told me to come over around five, his parents and sister would be at the Mall then. He expected them back before seven and he wanted me gone before then... I wanted me gone before then too. So, that's cool. Walking over I knew that this might be a waste of time, but there's always the chance Carl might have some insight about my relationship with the Marine. I've never really been fair in giving Carl enough credit... he deserves a lot for showing me my true gay nature and he deserves a lot of credit for the information about sex, about Ivy League college applications, and about lots of other stuff he's explained to me too. The walk took about a half hour... Carl opened the front door as I was going up the front steps.

It was a little surprising to see his improved appearance. Carl had managed to get himself a real nice tan during the senior class trip to Florida, he also managed to clear-up his zits, and he had a new, stylish, short haircut... all in all, he didn't look bad. He looked alright.. except, of course, he was still a whale... he hadn't lost any weight, might have put on a couple pounds actually.

I hadn't even seen Carl for a few weeks. The seniors graduate next week and then two weeks after that the rest of us at the high school get out for summer vacation. Even though no one was home Carl wanted to go to his room "like the old days" and that was fine except his room wasn't real neat like the old days... it was a sloppy mess. Not that it mattered, but I wondered why it was that his room is a mess now, and he isn't... just the reverse of before. We did small talk for a bit... he told me he'd be leaving for the family's vacation home right after graduation. Their vacation home was on the ocean in Maine and they'd be there till the end of August. His aunt, uncle and cousin share the place with Carl's family. He told me all that without a hint of his old nemesis, bad breath...I thought, "way to go, Carl". In turn, I told him the latest news about the school newspaper. Then he wanted to know about my latest problem.

Not leaving anything out, I matter-of-factly told him about the Marine and me. On the walk over I figured that since Carl always explains things to me in that matter-of-fact manner, I'd copy his style. During parts of my telling he groped himself, and, at one point I actually got a stiffy myself. I mean, the whole affair is hot, I've no hesitation about admitting that... it's the scary, lack of control part that I'm concerned about. Overall, Carl was a good listener... but when I was done he went into his usual pompous know-it-all act. He made a face like he was considering all sides of this and then theatrically rubbed his chin considering, I suppose, how to explain it all to a dope like me.

Once he got started I was afraid his lecture would never end. He pontificated about dominant/submissive relationships, and how the master/slave relationships was the extreme example of that... and how castration and all kinds of things are possible when just the right submissive individual gets under the control of just the right dominant master. He said that it was dangerous for guys to just put themselves under the control of these dominant types... they could find themselves with a dog collar around their neck eating out of a doggy dish and on and on he lectured.... He gave examples of how he feels a person should react at the first sign of a dominant move by another... not to reject it totally out-of-hand, but to compromise so that both parties understood what the other was willing to do or to tolerate.

Carl played with himself through his sweat pants while giving examples of dominant behavior. Just when I was thinking that he seemed to know an enormous amount about this topic, he must have realized the same thing because he stopped, frowned... and then went into a detailed explanation about how he only knew this stuff from reading about all these things on-line, and blah, blah, blah. He felt he had to justify himself as being a top only, which usually indicates a dominant personality, although he claimed he was flexible about that. He then switched emphasis away from himself and instead choose various points from my story that demonstrated my extreme submissive behavior toward the Marine.

Most of what he said made sense although some of the castration and extreme master/slave stuff seemed a bit over-the-top... but, then, what do I know. He said when he and I first started together, he'd gotten the mistaken impression I was playing more of a dominant role and so to accommodate me, he acted more submissive as we went along... he thought that was the role I wanted him to play. I told him I didn't know we were playing roles. Carl just shook his head and said, "Lack of good communications fucks you up every time". He somehow, kind of, blamed it all on me... which sucked because I wasn't even really sure about what he was talking about now, never mind back when we first started together. My head was going in circles by the time he stood up and declared that even I should get the picture by now. He'd already provided much, much more information than I wanted to know so I was happy he was done.

Well, I suppose it all sort of confirmed what I had more or less thought as regards what worried me the most... which is obviously me having no control at all when I'm with the Marine. Overall, on the plus side, all the information Carl provided was somewhat comforting because it demonstrated that my relationship with the Marine wasn't without precedence... that it was, in fact, not real rare within the gay community. I wasn't simply being a pussy about it, and I wasn't a mental case either... some guys simply have a propensity to submit to a more dominant sexual partner. It's important information to know if, like me, you fall into that category.

Carl says. "Lastly, Dylan.. you might be interested to know that that type of relationship can also be seen in the heterosexual community. The stereo-typical woman dressed in black leather with a whip thingie, you know.. the poor submissive guy on all fours". I scratched my head, not having a clue what he meant, but not wanting any more details about that, or about anything else. I was all talked out and ready to go home. Carl has a way of using six words when one would do. Anyway, all this information didn't solve my problem, but it did help me to understand what I was dealing with and, like I said... it mostly helped me to know I wasn't a one in a million freak or something.

Getting up, and checking my wristwatch, I saw we'd talked for almost an hour. I said, "Jeez, an hour! Well, I better get going, Carl. I can't thank you enough though... you're a great mentor for me, you really are and I appreciate it." He chuckled and sarcastically said, "Surely you jest. Before you go anywhere, you owe me a little something... a little something I like to call, a good fuck... good for you and good for me. Ya sorta gave your word on the phone... now, didn't ya?" He was acting much more arrogant then I'd ever seen him act before. I went, "What, you where serious about that? I have to let you fuck me in order for you to mentor me? And YOU say, surely I jest?" Not really pulling off the arrogant part myself, but for once, the words were OK, I thought.

Carl was having none of it however, and said, "Get your pants off... I'm not kidding around with you. If I have to, I'll take them off for you. This is how I should have treated you from the beginning, now get them off." He was a big fellow, and no one was home, and I'd just told him I was submissive to the tough acting Marine... fuck! I tried to keep it light, but it came out like a whine, "Carl, I don't have a condom... I thought you were kidding on the phone." He told me I knew very well he wasn't kidding... "don't give me that shit" ... then he came over and roughly pulled my T shirt over my head and put his hand inside the waistband of my cargo shorts. I shouted, "Wait a second! ... I'll do it." And I dropped my shorts and boxers leaving me naked except for my sneakers. Carl took his time getting out of his sweat pant... then said, "Get those sneakers and socks off too, I want you completely naked." He pointed in front of him and added, "and, on your knees right here."

Taking a deep breath I thought to myself, "Should I make a big deal out of this or humor him? Hmmm? It's not like I didn't think this was a possibility. Oh hell, go along for a bit." Actually, I was already "OK" with it to a degree, I was looking forward to that "feeling" again... the one inside my hole... and the way that feeling made my dick feel... yipes! Obviously, Carl was taking this silly dominant role position because of everything I'd just told him, and you know what... if he takes it one inch over the line I'm kicking him in the nuts.

On the other hand, maybe we can have a nice fuck and there won't be the need for any nuts busting. He's a big fat kid, but right now he's not too bad in the looks department... and, I know what to expect in the way of a fuck from him, so I'm up for it. Carl's fucked me maybe thirty times over those five or six weeks and until the final two weeks or so they were Ok... not "bam, slam.. WOW! .. to the moon and back" but OK. I haven't felt that certain feeling you get having a boy's hard penis inside your body since the last time he did me, and that's been a month now... so, bring it on fatso. I didn't say that to Carl, I just thought it and then I felt bad because I called him "fatso" again.. it was just in my head, but it's still not necessary or nice to make fun of a person's appearance.

After pulling his Polo shirt over his head and looking over to see if I was ready, Carl stopped in his tracks... just staring at my shaved pubic area. His mouth moved, but no words came out... pointing at my hairless belly he finally managed to mutter, "What's the story, Dylan? That's an awesome look." I told him that shaving my pubes was something that intrigued me and that it was a very recent thing... I did it on a whim. He pointed to that little bathroom in his room and said, "Get in there. You're doing that for me."

I almost laughed at his macho role, but still wanted to see where he was going with all this so I hustled inside suppressing a smile. He didn't have electric clippers so I used a comb and scissors to cut his pubes down to an eight inch and then shaved those off with shaving creme and a safety razor. Carl loved it... he loved the look and he loved making me do it for him. He told me his cousin, the one he fucks in Maine, just got himself a new responsibility and his cousin has me to thank for it. I eagerly nodded my head at him, having fun playing along as the wimp... for now.

The pubes shaving got Carl kinda hot and he insisted I suck his cock right there in that tiny bathroom with his cut pubes under my knees and all around us. He'd taken his shirt off before I started cutting and, completely naked, he was not a pretty sight. His skin was too white and there was so much of it... oh my god! His huge thighs and stomach... plus, his ass was enormous, but worst of all were his gigantic tits... big knobs, with big nipples, that hung down when he just stood there... they swayed some when he moved. No hair on his torso, but still not a good looking body. As a matter of fact, I made a point of not looking. His cock was normal sized, a bit smaller than mine actually. I concentrated on that. Sucking it into my mouth was easy, it was already fairly firm.

I pretended it was Chubby's cock and sucked away with my eyes closed ... thinking, do I really want to suck Chubby's cock?

That was an unexpected thought... me pretending I was sucking Chubby off. It's weirder and weirder how attracted I am to Chubby... in a gay way, I mean. It may never happen, but it was becoming more of a fantasy for me lately... me and Chubby. Carl got very hard, very fast. He loved to play with and talk about my light blond hair. To him it was the most beautiful hair he'd ever seen and he was trying to talk me into letting him cut it. He told me he cut his cousin's hair all the time, plus Charles Mc Bride on the newspaper at school, and two neighborhood middle school brothers. He went on and on about it, but soon he began to drift into groans and moans as I got into serious cock sucking.

It wasn't long before he grunted out a command, "Stop, I'm going to cum. Stop!" So, I took his cock out of my mouth, sat back on my heels, and looked up at Carl's face. He didn't look bad to me... he'd even trimmed his nose hairs so you couldn't see them. At the moment his faced was a little scrunched-up as he concentrated on not cuming. Soon he relaxed noticeably and then looked sternly down at me. I guess it's all part of the role he's playing. "While you're down there get the tube of KY jelly I have hidden in the cabinet under the sink. It's in the hole of the toilet paper roll... way in the back". I got it out and handed it to him asking, "You have a condom without lube?" He said, "Something like that. Get in the bedroom and lay over the side of my bed. I'm going to do you while you're on your stomach with your feet on the floor."

His bed sheets were a mess, but didn't smell bad and I lay there on the bed, from my belly button to my head. My ass was at the side edge of the mattress and my feet on the floor. First Carl spread my legs apart and then I heard him lubing up the condom on his erection, sounded like he was jerking off. I would have checked it out but he had a firm grip on the back of my neck with his left hand, pushing my face into the mattress... more role playing as a dominant guy I suppose. Carl didn't hesitate... staying true to his imagined dominant role he forced in the head of his cock and plowed right up tight against my buttock. "Ya like that entry, Newman? You getting off on this?"

His fat thighs were flat against my ass, his nut sack smacked the inside of my trembling thigh.

I couldn't answer right away because the pain rolled up my body. Gasping for air, "hey, take it easy, Carl, please..!", was all I managed to say as he withdrew five inches or so and then plowed right back up inside me as far as he could go. I was trying to get off the bed after that... it hurt, but he had a firm grip on the back of my neck with a surprisingly strong hand holding me down. Another pile-driving slam up my asshole and then another and another ... the KY lube really helped. The pain was fading a bit and then I felt my cock begin growing under me and things starting to feel better quickly. Carl was sliding more easily in and out of me by now and he took his hand from the back of my neck knowing I wasn't going anyplace... he had me now. Humping steadily, with me snorting air through my nose quietly... then I heard myself unexpectedly moan with pleasure. Carl wasn't messing around with this fuck... it might be his best one he ever had with me.

He grunted with every fast slam up my hole. Now with a grip on either side of my hips, he lifted my crotch off the bed slightly with each of his forceful humps up inside me. Maybe five minutes tops and I felt my balls start tightening up against my body. It felt even better than I remembered and I knew I was going to blow my load early. Carl had maintained a rapid penetration from the start and I was right there on the edge... I tried to warn him that I was about to spunk his sheets, but it came out like a moan of pleasure, "Carl.. ah Carl Ooh ah... Carl!" and I shot an excellent blast of cum. It's awesome to be fucked so good it makes you cum without even touching your penis. It's the best, and I was so glad at that moment that I'd called Carl this morning. I actually felt a fondness for him as cum was still drooling out of my cock and he continued fucking my ass.

When I blew my load he squeaked and began humping me faster and just after the last contractions from my climax he lay, full length, on my back and using both his hands he pulled my ass cheeks apart making them as flat as he could make them.. then humped up into me as deep as he's ever been and, doing short fast rabbit quick humps for fifteen seconds he fired off his climax. It was actually very sensual how he was humping that entire huge body into me, and on top of me, making sounds of erotic rapture. He squirmed and rotated his large hips while climaxing.. then another hump and a groan as more cum left his cock and then another smaller one. This fat boy was seriously turned-on. Two more weak humps and he completely collapsed on me, moaning and wheezing from the effort of it all.

It was his best fuck of me, I knew that for sure, and I almost hate to say it, but it was hot. I let him lay on me for a minute or so, but that boy weighed about two hundred fifty pounds and I finally had to say, "Awesome Carl, but please... you're smothering me." He took two big breaths and slowly got off me, pulling his cock out of me at the same time. I made a "oooh" sound and he squeezed my ass affectionately saying, "I heard you calling my name when you were cuming. You forgot how hot I can get ya, huh? Didn't ya?". He was very proud of himself so I didn't correct him about why I called his name.

Truth is... he gave me a damn good screwing and maybe I wouldn't mind doing it again before he leaves for Maine. Then, a shock... quite a bit of liquid drooled from my hole and down the inside of my thighs.

I reached back thinking, "Lube from the condom?" then a thicker, creamier substance plopped out of me and then a long strand of it, followed by weaker, watery stuff. I wiped back there fearing it was blood, but it wasn't blood... it was a lot of Carl's cum. I screamed, "You did me bareback?" and he said, "That's right, Dylan... I did you bareback and it was the best fuck I ever had. And, whats more, I'm going to do you again in a little while... maybe twice more."

That was it. I shouted, "Oh fuck you, Carl. You're doing nothing of the sort and if you're not careful you and I are going at it right now and I'm not talking about fuckng". He was speechless when I added, "And for Christ sake, don't you have a personality of your own? Ya always got to play a role or emulate somebody? Be yourself for once!" I kept wiping at the endless drippings from my hole. Carl had an astonished expression when I ordered, "Get me a towel or something." He handed me a clean washcloth saying, in a humble manner now, " Nobody likes my own personality, Dylan. And, as for doing you bareback.. you've never been fucked by anyone but me, and I only fucked you and my cousin and always with a condom... so there isn't any reason for concern, we're both totally clean and safe".

I'd wiped my ass totally dry... and then thirty seconds later more of Carl's cum would drool out so I finally just sat on the folded up wash clothe and said, "Still, you should have discussed it with me first." He sat on the bed and in a nice way said, "You're right, of course... after your experience with the Marine though I thought I could get away with being tough and you'd do what I say." My look at him said, "Get serious!" Carl admitted it was dumb and then added, " I'd drop all the stupid role playing, like you say... but I'm afraid you won't like me then".

Jeez, I felt kind of bad for him, but I didn't much like him as it is, so he might as well drop the role playing and at least try being himself. I suggested we didn't have anything to lose, so why not try being "real". He looked at me now like I was mentoring him which is not what I had in mind. I patted his back noncommittally and gave Carl a little smile of encouragement. He said, " I really enjoyed that sex with you, Dylan ... didn't you enjoy it with me at all?"

Maybe he's playing the poor soul role now, but I didn't think so. I said, "Yeah, sure I did... it was really hot Carl. I gotta give ya props, dude. I already told ya it was awesome". He was being nicer than I ever remember him being. Being humble, worked for him. He said his parents would be bringing pizza home with them for Saturday night dinner and why didn't I stay and we could do this again after dinner if it was OK with me. "Please, Dylan. We both enjoyed it and I think you like me doing you more than you admit. Come on, man... let's do it again later tonight."

Well, I had nothing going on tonight. Mom's working and Chubby's at the barbecue and it did feel excellent getting fucked by fat Carl. Oh, there I go again... he deserves better treatment from me than that. His stupid role playing was actually his attempt to try and accommodate me, most of the time, anyway. He isn't a bad guy at all so I said, "Well, if you promise to really stop all the role playing crap and let me get to know the real you ... then, sure, why not. You've been good to me Carl, I know that. Not just the fucking, but the mentoring and getting me that senior editor's job and other stuff too. Yeah, let's do it again later, stud. You did me good, dude!". Carl quickly called his Mom's cell phone and set it up for me to stay for pizza.

We both pulled on our pants, socks and sneakers. Carl says, "I know I'm pushing it, but the rents won't be here for twenty minutes at least. How bout I trim your hair for ya? You know how hot I am for your hair... I'm being my honest self now, Dylan... I really am good at cutting hair too." I was sort of feeling tight with Carl at the moment... I didn't really need a haircut, but Chubby had that almost shaved head, so him and me wouldn't be having a haircut night for awhile. Why the hell not... like Chubby says "it'll grow back in two weeks", I said, "Ok Carl, I'll take a chance on your barbering skills... sure, go for it."

He got me seated on his desk chair with a towel on my shoulder and with just a comb and scissors he cut my hair in silence for quite a while. It's the kind of thing that gets hypnotic and trance-like, listening to the click of the scissors and feeling the comb on my head and running through my hair and all.. pleasant. Carl got a boner while cutting, but I already knew he had this weird thing for my hair and I was use to Chubby springing boners left and right... so, no big deal.

His mother calling up to us, saying the pizza was here, is what finally ended the haircut. He gave me a hand held mirror... with that and the mirror over the sink I could see all around my head. Carl was more of a professional barber then Chubby was and this looked like a real professional haircut, although I did think it was too short. None the less, when I complimented him Carl looked like a fat boy in love... I think, with me.

He introduced me again to his parents and we had the pizza downstairs with them and his fat sister, who screamed at Carl that he'd cut my hair too short. Then she came over to run her fingers through what was left as Carl ranted and raved to the parents that she was out of control and needed some serious discipline... they took deep breaths and ignored it all. I lost my appetite just about the moment the tubby sister touched my head. But for sure, that brother and sister combo definitely have a thing for my hair... weird man weird! When I reached back and felt the very short hairs Carl had cut at my neck it felt to me just like the Marine's clipped hairs felt all the way up the back and sides of his head... that's what I immediately thought of... and secondly, I thought that the Marine wasn't seeming quite as scary to me tonight as he did yesterday.

Later, upstairs, Carl gave me another bareback fucking... one that he can be proud of. He made me cum quickly again, after only about five minutes again. I heard him chuckling when I got frenzied during my excellent climax. He was able to hold back his climax for another five minutes at which time he humped me so fast, deep and hard I squirted out another little climax of my own just as he was filling-up my insides with a larger load then his earlier one. We lay on our sides in bed with him still inside me, and after about ten minutes, with our breathing finally under control, he fucked me for a while longer and had himself another little climax. Not me, but the entire thing felt good while he was doing it. We both were naked this time too and after his last climax he enveloped my body with his enormous one saying, "Did ya like that one, Dylan? You didn't call out my name this time" and he'd hugged me like there was no tomorrow.

That went on for quite a while and I kept telling myself to be nice and tolerate it... and you know what, it isn't all bad being adored by someone. After he pulled out of me I noticed the soreness reallt set in... my hole hurt. Carl had himself another nice boner before we were done snuggling, but my hole was too sore and I had to beg off, "No, please Carl. I'm really sore back there. I'd like you to do me again, but not tonight." He said half jokingly, "OK then, but you know how I feel about you...you'll have to tolerate this for a minute" and he gave me sloppy kisses until I couldn't take them any longer and I started to tighten my body getting ready to explode... thrashing around and throwing punches. He sensed it and said, "OK, I know... you don't like the kissing." He let go of me then, all that fat... Jesus. Not cool. As I was getting out of bed, still dabbing at my hole with the washcloth, I think he said, really low..."I love you". Man, what to do or say to that? I pretended I didn't hear it.

The half hour walk home was tough. My hole was sore, but the bigger problem was I had to take a crap. This happened once before when Carl fucked me a couple of times in the same afternoon. I made it home and to the toilet, but just barely. No one was home at Chubby's place and no one was here at my place either so I locked the door with the dead bolt and took a nice long bath. First one in a long time... it was nice and soothing.

Laying in that warm tub of water I thought about Carl fucking me tonight and about how good that had felt and about how he was an OK guy when he wasn't playing one of those stupid "roles". When we were laying in his bed with him hugging me he told me he was going to lose a lot of weight this summer and when I saw him in September maybe I'd fall for him like he's fallen for me. I wondered... what if he were seventy-five pounds lighter, would I then thinks he's "hot"? Maybe I would, his looks were OK tonight... maybe better than OK and he sure likes me. Being liked by someone carries a lot of weight when you're evaluating how you feel about that person... doesn't it? Then I thought about the Marine who didn't seem to like or dislike me. He liked me as an object, I think... "nice body, nice face and you got good guns too"... that kind of thing. But me as a person... he didn't seem interested.

Then the gay sex aspect of it. I thought about the way I climaxed when the Marine deep throated me and compared that to the climaxes I had tonight. The Marine still wins I think, but Carl is in the conversation now at least.. especially, as I said, when he drops all that phony role playing stuff. The Marine, of course, isn't role playing at all... that's him, period. Then I thought, " how do I feel about Chubby and what, if anything, I should do about that?". There wasn't any doubt in my mind now... I wanted to "mess around"... you know, Chubby and me. It was getting to be more than just a fantasy to me. "Obsession" is too strong a word... what's the right word I wondered?

After the bath I looked out the window for Chubby every now and then and around eleven o'clock I saw a gray Plymouth SUV pull up to the curb. It was that retard, Ricky's, SUV for sure. I went to get a cigarette thinking Chubby will be in soon and we can have a smoke on the step and hang out for a bit before bed. He was still in the car ten minutes later. What the fuck? I stared at the car from my front window and eventually Chubby got out rubbing his mouth with the back of his hand, then fastening his cargo shorts.

Huh?

My heart beat hard... I was afraid, but of what? That he and Ricky had done some gay thing together? Chubby leaned back in the open door for thirty seconds and when he pulled his head back out he was groping his crotch and again wiping his mouth. They were talking loudly, I could hear the sound of the words, but not what the words were. Then Chubby's laughter, then popping his head back in the car again... for a kiss?... and then he slammed the door and waved goodbye... he stood there watching the car until it turned the corner.

I felt dizzy, or maybe it was my stomach. Whatever it was, I didn't feel good. Chubby came up to the unit's front door, but not to my door. He took the stairs up to his second floor duplex... he was whistling. Somehow I got the guts to call up the steps, "Chubby? You OK?" All I heard was his door closing. My mind was all over the place with that horrible jealous feeling again, but I had an exhausting day and finally drifted off to the mercy of oblivious sleep...

to be continued...

Donny Mumford thinat20@yahoo.com