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Chapter 2 (The Dream)
I was slowly falling to an abyss and I couldn't do anything about it. Why not boys? At least, that would have made me normal. But then again I had never been normal, I was as far from normal as one can get. I had to find the root of the problem; I was a girl, so I thought, maybe if I study my body and examine myself closely, I would understand my obsession with the female anatomy.
That night, alone in my bedroom I decided to take a closer look at my self. I took off my pajama and went to my bathroom naked except for my panties which I kept on. I had a pretty good size mirror which allowed me to see myself up to my knees.
My body was very feminine looking, a little on the pale side, but very feminine. I stared at my body for at least thirty minutes, twisting, spinning and turning. "What could it be?", I thought. I examined my breasts closely; they had an average size of girls my age. My nipples were a very light pink almost pale looking. They were about the size of a silver dollar in diameter. One thing that I had noticed about my nipples was that they would grow about a full inch, and would get rock hard as pebbles whenever I was in school, especially when I was in the gym watching the girls playing volleyball (my latest hobby). I couldn't figure out why.
Then it all started coming back to me. There was something else that happened to me as I watched the girl's volleyball team, a funny and somehow different sensation; it was in my lower regions; a warmth deep in my belly and a glowing in my vagina...almost like an itch, a very weird sensation.
As I lost track of my thoughts while observing myself in the mirror, the images that I had recorder earlier, started reeling in, almost like a slide show....... Megan stretching and doing the split before practice; Lisa's plump ass bouncing as she ran warm up laps... The sink made a gurgling noise and I snapped back to reality; as I refocused on the mirror again, I noticed my nipples, they were standing erect at full attention, protruding almost an inch, they looked a bit darker, and when I touched them, they were hard as a rock.
As I continued the examination, I noticed that the itching in my crotch was also very present, I felt as if my vagina was glowing; so I rolled my panties all the way to my ankles and left them there. I stood up and approached the mirror, trying to accommodate for a better look. This was the first time I had taken interest in my private parts and how they looked. >From my standing point it was hard to really examine my crotch area, so I stepped out of my panties, went back to my room and dragged a chair into the bathroom, and placed it directly in front of the mirror. I sat down and pulled myself the closest that I could to the mirror, being careful not to get the nearsighted effect obstructing my vision.
I spread my legs and brought my hand to my vagina placing two fingers on each side of it, attempting to spread my genitals open for a better look. The first thing I noticed was the heat emanating from my crotch area, it was glowing; I thought if I got any closer to the mirror, I would've fogged it. My vagina was very slick, I thought maybe from sweat, but I wasn't sweating; plus this slickness was thicker than sweat and somewhat sticky. After a couple of minutes fumbling to spread my lips, I decided to slide to the edge of the chair and place my left foot on the wall next to the mirror. As a result my legs were splayed wide open and I had free access to my vagina. As I pried my lips open, there was a squelching sound, and I noticed strings of the sticky liquid stretching and then running down my thighs; I also caught a strong whiff that emerged from my vagina, which made me salivate instantly; there was a musky warmth to the smell, very raw in its nature, almost primitive; and it had a very powerful reaction on me; it made me dizzy and fluttery. It created a hunger, a strange hunger in my depths, almost as if I had to feed. But feed on what?? I would have to find the answer later.
As I kept examining my vagina, I also noticed my clitoris. I knew it was my clitoris because of descriptions I had heard of it in school. This was the first time that I was actually seeing mine; I noticed it had the same reaction as my nipples; it was standing alive and it was peaking out of a sheath of skin at the top of my vagina. It looked like a little pearl shinning on a very wet clam. My entire vagina had an angry-pink look to it, like if it was burning from the inside. Lost in my own little world examining myself, I decided to feel my clitoris. As soon as I touched it, I couldn't help but to moan out loud. I felt an electric charge course through my entire body.
I didn't understand at the time, nor did I know anything about masturbation, but I kept rubbing my clit as it continued to shock my body. Doing this was slowly calming the glowing and itching in my vagina.
I spent the next fifteen minutes, in front of the mirror playing with myself. The only sound in the bathroom was the squishy noise of my fingers in my hole. Hypnotized by my own reflection, fogged by the musky aroma that surrounded me, and the rhythmic sound of my pussy while masturbating, I slowly drifted into unconsciousness, and I had my first orgasm. I must have been unconscious for about an hour. At least that is how I felt when I woke up. As I slowly recovered, I noticed how exhausted I felt; there was calm and peace throughout my body, and an unmistakable feeling of serenity. Gradually recovering the clarity of my vision, I also noticed that my nipples were back to normal, and my clitoris was hiding under its sheath. Slowly I brought my foot down from the wall and stood up; my knees were somewhat weak, but I managed to make my way into my bedroom.
I had just had my first orgasm, and it was a humbling and extraordinary experience; it felt almost like if I was rewarding my body after a long day of hard work, hard work staring and lusting after all those gorgeous sweaty thighs, asses, and pussies.
Laying in bed, almost fully recovered from my first orgasm, I noticed there was still something in me; that feeling of hunger that never seemed to go away, that desire to feed....inexplicable and uncertain..Would I ever find out what was my body pleading for? Cramming and trying to solve the pieces to the greatest puzzle, once again the images started pouring in....All those girl!! Ohhh goodness, so many of them!! All those shapely bodies, those feminine hips, silky long legs...those butt cheeks and crotches...'I wonder how they smell!!'... Would they have that same primitive musk that I experienced earlier as I masturbated???...."Oh my God Edna, you are sick!! Stop having those thoughts!!!!" I noticed that I had been salivating, and my clitoris again was rock hard as well as my nipples. That warm feeling of hunger was now burning in the depths of my stomach. It was an unbearable and helpless feeling; I knew it wouldn't let me sleep; so slowly I removed my panties and brought my hand to my wet vagina and started masturbating until I passed out and fell asleep.
That night I had a very strange and mysterious dream... I was sitting on the benches in my high school gym, but it was empty. I felt very sad and confused in my dream; I had a feeling of desperation and uncertainty, despair; I was agonizing emotionally; tears ran down my cheeks, and I started sobbing and then crying, crying uncontrollably. I felt like I was loosing my breath and I started hyperventilating; it was a horrible feeling, I felt like I was dying slowly, and I couldn't do anything about it. Then somebody gently patted my right shoulder, and all of a sudden I regained my breath and strength and looked up. Through the blur and haze of tears I managed to make out a female silhouette. Who was this mysterious figure?? She had long blonde hair that reached to her shoulders; it had an almost cherubic nature to it. Her lines flowed beautifully and naturally; there was a calmness about her that made me feel at ease, even though she was a stranger to me.
As my vision slowly cleared and I could see her better, I immediately recognized something familiar; she was wearing the uniform for the girl's volleyball team. Her white T-shirt had the number 3 imprinted in red, and it was cut short just bellow her ribcage, exposing her perfectly tanned and smooth stomach. I could see some perspiration glistening in her exposed skin. As I directed my vision to her shorts, I noticed how drenched they appeared to be, especially in the area where her thighs met with her crotch. The legs of her micro-shorts seemed to be straining against her well rounded and sculpted thighs, and their crotch was wedged between her vaginal lips. This produced an almost translucent outline of her genitals. I noticed that her lips appeared very puffy and swollen almost as if they were pouting; at the very top where the lips came together, there was the outline of her clit trying to peak through, it seemed very erect and very alive. It seemed to pulse at its own will. As I slowly swallowed things in, my vision became clearer. By know I could see every nook and cranny of this mysterious girl's body. Her calves were fantastic and extremely shapely, and her thighs were so well rounded that they seemed to come together even before they met at her crotch. Her body was perspiring as if she had just finished some extrenuating physical activity. As I looked at her face again in an attempt to uncover my mysterious girl, I noticed it was still blurry to me. Everything else seemed so clear except for her face. I started having that feeling of desperation once again, and I was getting extremely anxious......
"Who are y..........????, she placed the palm of her hand to my lips before I could finish the question... I noticed how warm and moist they felt on my lips.... "shhhhhhhhh sweetie....that is not important..." she whispered. Her voice seemed musical and very subtle; Was she communicating telepathically? I felt her moist fingers caressing my cheeks in a very loving and almost motherly way, they felt very soft and comforting. "Baby...you don't have to hurt anymore.....I am here to make it all go away... I will set you free...." As she whispered this to me, I felt an indescribable joy; it was almost as if she turned a switch on, and every beautiful emotion I had ever known came to surface; I felt a happiness that filled my entire soul. I started crying uncontrollably once again, but this time I was crying of joy and happiness. "Shhhhh...baby don't cry...I promise you won't have to suffer anymore....." Her angelic voice was very suiting and comforting.
Her fingers caressing my face felt wonderful. I didn't want her to stop. I closed my eyes and tried to absorb the moment.
I felt some movement and as I opened my eyes, I noticed she was repositioning herself directly in front of me. Her movements were very slow and poetic; I thought she was gliding. She seemed to move in slow motion.
As she stood directly in front of me, I noticed how close her crotch was to my face. The shorts outlined her vagina deliciously. It was so wet that I could see droplets of sweat over the shorts on her crotch.
As I stared in a trance, I felt her fingers move from my face to my hair; they started massaging my scalp rhythmically... I was being hypnotized, but somehow I was willingly accepting it.
It felt so good to have her caress me like this that I just surrendered to her. I heard myself whisper "Please guide me...I am so confused...show me the way...." Very slowly she started to inch her waist even closer to my face, as she got close enough, she started to raise her right thigh above my right shoulder. I felt a warmth starting to surround me....towering over me, she placed her right foot on the bench that was directly above the one that I was sitting on. Everything was moving so slow and I just couldn't react. Her crotch was now directly over my face; there was an incredible heat emanating from it, almost like a furnace...her thigh was now making contact with my left cheek, it was slick with sweat and very warm.
The warmth that encompassed me was very comforting, almost inviting; it made me feel protected. I needed to be protected; I needed compassion and understanding; I needed to feel loved and taken care of....somehow I was feeling that way now; it was amazing.
Once again I felt her fingers on my scalp, but this time they were on the back of my head...there was a pressure, a very subtle pressure; she was pushing my head forward; almost like a mother trying to comfort a child...she was pushing my head into her damp crotch..
"What are you d....Uhhhhhhh...." I moaned lightly, as my nose first made contact with her crotch....I was in a haze..."mmmmhmmmmm"... It was an indescribable feeling; her vagina felt so hot through the shorts. I couldn't explain, but it felt delicious. It just felt right.
She continued to push and wedge my nose deeper into her lips, until my lips made full contact with her crotch and my face was completely smothered. It felt beautiful; there was a feeling of fulfillment in my heart; I was overjoyed, what an awesome feeling... I felt that I had finally found my niche; I had found were I belonged..I felt very secure and at ease, it was a pleasant and gratifying feeling. I was overjoyed and overflowing with emotions; I started crying again, but my sobbing was muffled by her crotch on my face.
As she kept my face tightly pressed to her I could hear her musical whispering in the background..."shhhhh....don't cry anymore baby... just CHERISH THE MOMENT"....
"CHERISH THE MOMENT..."...."CHERISH THE MOMENT"......"CHERISH the mohhh"
And that is when I woke up. As I looked at the clock on my nightstand, I noticed it was 4:37AM...I had been sleeping for a good while. I was flushed and my body was drenched with cold sweat.
"What a dream!!!" I thought....
I stood to head towards the bathroom, and as I gave my first step my knees gave in, and I fell to the floor; luckily my carpet was very lush and well cushioned, so I didn't harm myself. I got up again and carefully made my way to the sink where I could sustain myself. I looked at myself in the mirror; my eyes were dilated and my forehead still had some perspiration residues. What did this dream mean? It was so strange, yet so vivid and real, so powerful; there had to be a meaning to it....I felt like it was trying to tell me something.... Deep inside of me I felt that it held the key to everything, even my happiness....but how....What did I have to do? As I felt strong enough to stand without support, I washed my face thoroughly with cold water.
I needed to be awake; I needed to analyze things....
"Think Edna.....think...what to do...what to do....."
I felt lost and helpless; I had to find out what this dream could possibly mean. I knew I couldn't describe such dream to my parents...much less tell them that I thought somehow this dream was the key to my happiness; they themselves would've put the strain-jacket on me and sent me off to the mad house....
Who could I trust to help me analyze my dream; without judging me, without making me feel weird and uncomfortable....
My choices were narrowed down to Megan and Lisa. I figured they were my only hope; they were young and they were my best friends.
I knew that they wouldn't flip out, or at least I thought so. 'What if they did?...I will be so embarrassed!!'.... As I analyzed the situation thoroughly, I thought it would be a better idea to share this with just one of the two....not because I didn't trust either one, but because I felt it would produce better results to confide with an individual as opposed to a crowd. That way I could really get into details without being extra embarrassed.
Lisa and Megan were the coolest and cutest friends in the world....They loved to play and joke around, and they had an incredible sense of humor....yet out of the two Megan always seemed to be the one that understood that there was a time to be serious; this was something that I truly admired. She always came across as the more mature of the two.
I felt that if anybody, she would be the one that would take me seriously and help me analyze my situation.
"So Megan it is!!!"....
I felt excited about the prospects of discussing my condition with one of my best friends...I felt something good would come out of it....
As I went back to my bedroom...I looked at the clock and it said 5:30AM..
"Oh goodness, I have to wake up in two and a half hours...."
I tucked myself in and went to bed, ecstatic about what the day held for me later.