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Elliot and Drake C-1
Drake destroys his lifelong friend emotionally in this chapter because of a misunderstanding.
Drake's shoes scuffed the cement sidewalk. He hung his head allowing his sandy bangs covered his upper vision and hide the redness around his eyes. A stone appeared on the sidewalk. Drake kicked it in a desultory manner. His hand brushed his eye where a tear had formed.
Passing Mrs. Roberts house, Cooper the golden lab stood at the fence panting, waiting for his usual petting. Drake shuffled past and Cooper ran along the fence whining. Drake's mind did not register the dog. He kept sniffling as he shuffled, oblivious to the world outside his mind.
He speculated what being dead would be like. Was the dead world a dark lifeless place or did was there light and spirit life? Would his friends exist there, well when they arrived far in the future.? Maybe he would not have friends joining him, not anymore, not after today, not after Elliot. Drake continued to imagine the dead world and explore it in his imagination. He imagined wispy characters floating in swirling foggy, clouds who seemed to be laughing and cavorting. He imagined boys, teens in his imagination, hugging and dancing together on wispy clouds of happiness. They were not clothed and played with happy abandon. Drake's mind reached out to the happy throng and just as suddenly, they disappeared. Drake was alone.
"How was your day, honey?" His mom smiled as he entered the house.
"Okay mom. I'm tired. Hard day at school. I'm going to take a nap."
"No temp." His mom felt his forehead.
"Thanks, mom. I just need to rest."
Laying on his bed, clutching Bunny the stuffy he had had forever, he put Bunny over his mouth and gave into the sobs he had held since the cafeteria at school. He lightly chewed Bunny's belly, careful not to hurt his only true friend.
His mom called telling him dinner was ready and Drake stopped in the bathroom to pee and wash his face.
At the table his brother Toby said, "You look like shit."
"Toby, language."
"Right mom."
Toby stared at Drake with that questioning look he reserved when the brothers could not talk.
"Later," Drake mouthed as he studied Toby. Drake was fourteen and Toby a year younger. Toby had sandy hair like Drake. Toby was an inch shorter that Drake's 5' 10" and looking into Toby's light blue eyes was like looking into Drake's own. People often asked if they were twins and sometimes Toby would sling his arm over Drake and smile asking the questioner, "Think we look the same?"
They did look the same as Drake knew well having studied Toby when they showered at the same time while getting ready for school.
Toby did not mind Drake studying him. He often asked Drake to wash his backside and moaned when Drake cleaned his crack extra softly. Toby never let Drake wash his front, but he did let Drake wash his feet, if Toby felt extra tired. He moaned when Drake rubbed between his toes. Drake remembered the Saturday they had jogged and showered the sweat away. How after Toby asked Drake to come into his room and rub his feet. Both brothers were still wrapped in towels and Toby's towel had slipped open as he lay on his back exposing his front for Drake to see.
"Rub between my toes, Drake."
Drake rubbed, squeezing, and staring at them wondering what they would taste like? He did not suck them, just rubbed. Toby must have realized through his haze that he was exposed, so he covered himself. Drake continued to love Toby's toes.
"Are you boys going to study?" His mom asked as she cleaned the table bringing Drake back to the present.
"Sure mom," Toby said. Then to Drake he said, "Come on. Let's get `er done."
Toby walked the stairs behind Drake, guiding him into his room, turning Drake's body, and guiding him onto his bed. Sitting close to his brother, looking into his eyes, Toby said, "Talk."
When a tear escaped Drake's eye, Toby put an arm over Drake's shoulders and whispered in his ear, "Tell me."
Drake cried more before mouthing, "Elliot."
"Elliot? That pussy?"
"Today was our first time in the showers after gym."
Toby nodded, listening. Drake was a new ninth grader, Toby was in eighth grade. Ninth graders had to shower after gym class.
"Today was my first time being naked around other boys. We have a class of ninth and tenth graders. I have never seen a naked boy other than you. I was in the gym and, oh gawd Toby, I stared at Elliot. He was beautiful and I got hard, so hard. And then Elliot saw me looking and saw I had a boner. He did not talk to me in the locker room after. He dressed and left with Mike and Jerry. He never left without me before. He's been my friend since second grade."
Drake cried harder. Toby squeezed harder and nuzzled Drake's hair with his nose. Toby waited for Drake to continue.
"At lunch," Drake continued between sobs, "I went to sit with Elliot and our friends. Elliot said that no Fags were allowed at his table. Jerry asked Elliot what he meant. Elliot said that I was a faggot. I perved on him and got a boner in the showers. He said I was a Fag. Everybody else bought Elliot's story. They told me to get lost."
"Then what," Toby asked?
The rest of the day everybody whispered Fag when they passed me. Some of the guys made jerking movements with their hands in front of me. After school, Elliot and Mike walked home, ignoring me. Mike gave me the finger and Elliot laughed."
Toby held his sobbing brother, nuzzled his hair, and gently kissed him on the cheek and neck.
"Elliot's a pussy. I told you that a long time ago. If anyone is a Fag, it's Elliot."
Drake moved away from Toby and reached for his brother's face turning it full on to him.
"The thing is, Toby, I think I am. I think I am a Fag."
Drake sobbed more and put his head in his hands." I want to die. Toby, I want my life to end."
What Drake said caused Toby to shake. Then he wrapped his arms around Drake and held him tight. As he held him, he started crying also.
"You are not a Fag. You are my brother. I love you. The word is Gay. I don't give a shit if you are, I love you. Please, don't kill yourself. I couldn't live without you."
Both brothers were now crying. Toby guided Drake onto his back on Toby's bed. He fluffed the pillow under Drake's head all the while making shushing noises softly. Next he unbuckled Drake's jeans and started to slide them down Drake's legs.
"What are you doing," Drake protested?
"Getting you ready for a nap. I am going to study. You are going to nap. You will be more comfortable in your underwear. Lift up."
As Drake did, Toby slid off his brother's jeans and shirt leaving boxers and T shirt covering Drake. Grabbing a blanket from the bottom of the bed, Toby covered Drake. He stroked his brother's hair and continued to kiss him.
"You are my brother. If you hurt, I hurt. I'm kissing and hugging you because I love you, I am not gay but there is no law that says I cannot comfort my brother the way I want to."
With that, Toby leaned over Drake, put his hands on Drake's cheeks, and kissed Drake on the lips. "Rest Drake. I'll wake you in thirty minutes."
Drake gave Toby a weak smile. His brother loved him, and he was kissing him. His brother had let Drake know it was okay to be Gay. Toby said he was not Gay, yet kissed his brother. Drake had to repay Toby's love in a brotherly way.
Elliot was a pussy. Toby called that right. Tomorrow Drake would show Toby that Drake was tougher than Elliot. The entire ninth grade class would know Elliot was a pussy and Drake was Gay and proud.
Entering the school, the next morning Elliot and his two flunkies watched for Drake. They found him as he was closing his locker.
"How you doing, Fag? Suck your brother's little cock this morning? If you want a real man's cock, we got time before first period. We can use the gym toilets."
Drake got close to Elliot's ear and whispered. "If I wanted a man's cock, I wouldn't look between your legs. You only have a pussy between your legs because that's what you are, a pussy. Maybe Mike or Jerry would fuck your cunt. They like pussy, don't you guys?"
Being dense, both boys agreed they did like pussy.
"Take Elliot into a stall and fuck his pussy. Oh, wait. You two cannot go into the girl's toilets. Only Elliot is allowed since he is a girl, right Elliot?"
Elliot was red and opening and closing his hands. If it were possible, steam would be escaping his ears. Mike and Jerry were smiling.
"Going to bitch slap me now? Pussy?"
Drake was on an offensive roll. On one hand he hated what he was doing to his best friend. On the other hand, Elliot deserved this, and more.
Turning to Mike and Jerry, Drake said. If you want to go to class with a real man, come on. If you want to go with a pussy, stay with Elliot.
"But aren't you Gay?"
"Mike, Mike. Just because a man is Gay, and I am not saying I am but if I am, I am still more a man than that pussy. Look at Elliot. Is that what a man looks like? See his red face. Notice the tears in his eyes. Look how he hangs his head not looking at us. That's a real pussy."
"By the way, guys that get upset with Gays, might be hiding something. They might be secretly gay and in the closet." Turning to Elliot and getting in his face Drake said loud enough for Mike and Jerry to hear. "Are you in the closet, Elliot? Are you a closet queer boy?"
And just like that, Mike and Jerry walked with me leaving poor Elliot by the lockers. I felt horrible. I had done to my best friend what he had done to me. I felt like shit.
Elliot was not in gym. He was not at lunch. I checked with counseling. He had not signed out. I wandered around looking for Elliot. As I walked, I thought. I had been awful to him. I just thought I would strike first. I struck too hard. I had to find him. Somehow we could get over this. I went back to the lunchroom and asked Mike and Jerry to help me look for Elliot. One of the guys at the table said he had seen Elliot heading for the woods.
"Come on guys," I told Mike and Jerry. At the back of the school yard, I told them to split up and search. In minutes, Jerry hollered, "Over here."
Mike and I ran in the direction of Jerry's voice. He had found Elliot crumpled on the wet leaves. I felt the urge to continue calling him pussy and making him feel worthless. Then I remembered my decision. I knelt next to Elliot.
As I raised his head Mike cried, "Careful. He's bleeding."
I looked. Elliot had a steady flow of blood from his forehead. A massive flow. I then realized he was unconscious.
"Call 911." I commanded.
Both Mike and Jerry said, "No phone."
I threw mine at them and pulled off my T-shirt putting pressure on Elliot's forehead.
"Hurry. Hurry." I thought.
Then. "Help me. Throw him over my shoulder. Let's get him to the office."
Mike and Jerry placed Elliot on my shoulder. I could feel his blood dripping on my back. As we neared the school, the principal and two EMTs exited the doors.
I had no classes that afternoon, only interviews with police and school officials. Elliot told everybody he had been running, slipped on wet leaves, and hit a tree. The EMTs bandaged him and called his parents who took him to the hospital to check for a concussion. I gave my statement to the police telling them that when we had not seen Elliot at lunch, we went looking for him.
Mike and Jerry walked home with me. I felt as if it were my fault Elliot had been hurt. I had bullied him in the worst way. I had hit him psychologically in front of his friends. Never mind he had done that to me. I was wrong.
At my house, the three of us stopped. Mike scuffed his toe on the cement. "Drake. Are you gay?"
I stared at both for a long time.
"Yep." Then I turned towards my porch.