Emanon Chapter 15
Hello y’all. This is the second story I work on – the first one being Alex and Sebastian. I’ll place the link for that one below.
Hope you guys enjoy!
http://www.nifty.org/nifty/gay/college/alex-and-sebastian/
A fellow reader made a playlist with most of the songs I’ve either used or will use in the A&S series. I’ve given him full control as to whether he wants a new channel for this story or just to continue on the original one. If y’all want to listen to the previous one while reading the chapters, the link for it is this:
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLJZWEUrY9KRSfQ98rYlMYix46VM0CJ7XS
Songs on YouTube:
I’m Not The Only One - Sam Smith
Rolling in the Deep - Glee
I will keep you posted if another link is created.
I updated my email to unfinishedthoughts013@gmail.com if you’d like to reach me!
Please don't forget to donate to nifty here, without which we wouldn't have this collection of great stories!
Every story is free on here, so please let's keep it that way and donate, guys.
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The Competition
I stared down at the flier in my hand. In gold letters it read: 5th Aurora Memorial at Jacob Brown Auditorium. Below that, it listed the five high-schools in our school district and, from the five, each would compete to be crowned the best. I was told that the winner of the past two year’s competitions had been Drew and Vanessa’s school, Veteran’s Memorial High School.
This year was different, Mr. Holland said. This year, we had a great team, one that was passionate about winning and that put in the hard work to pull it off.
Ok. Sure.
What I was more interested in, however, were the new feelings for Michael now coursing through my head. Why was it that everytime our eyes caught one another, it reminded me of our night in that hotel room?
A small grin stretched out in my face. That night had been replaying in my mind for a couple of nights in a row now.
“Keep them,” he had said, referring to the pictures we took together that night while he was inside me . “So there’s something to remind us of this moment.” The thing was that I didn’t need any pictures to remind me of the night I slept with you, Michael. I kept carrying those memories around with me throughout the day. They came alive when I looked at you. They threatened to overtake me with every stolen glance. They ate at me the way a swarm of locusts eat through a crop field.
Walking into the main lobby, Michael stopped a few steps ahead and made his way back to me.
“Excited for tonight, Darren?” He jabbed me playfully with his elbow.
“Yes, kind of,” I laughed, enjoying the attention. “But with a healthy dose of anxiety, I have to add.”
“You’ll be great, bud.” He reached forward and squeezed my left shoulder. His firm grip on my shoulder created a ripple of tingles that traced down my back. I wrenched myself free from his touch because, any second longer, my knees would have given out from below me.
“Thanks, Michael,” I laughed, trying to gain back my composure. In his eyes, I saw a glint of mayhem that made me realize he knew - and was proud - of what his touch did to me.
“About time y’all made it!!”
I turned to find a guy in a bright green button up and black slacks. Black suspenders gave him a juvial look that managed to balance both a reserved and yet, sexy look. His dark brown eyes scanned our group, resting a couple seconds longer on me, before finally landing on Diana.
“Drew!” Diana made her way through us and wrapped her hands around Andrew. I instinctively grimaced as she planted a quick kiss on his lips. Right. Drew was Diana’s beard. Their partnership was to give them both the appearance of being straight high school students. Now, if that wasn’t complicated enough, Drew and I were seeing each other behind everyone’s back. Also, I was fooling around with Michael behind everyone’s back.
Yeah, there was no way this ended okay.
C'est la vie.
Once Drew pulled away from Diana, he wrapped his right arm around her shoulders and addressed the rest of us.
“Good luck out there, guys. Heard Lopez High School has a really good choir this year.” Drew motioned over to a group of students wearing all black with red ties or red belts. He turned to face us again and addressed me. “Nothing you have to worry about if you sing the way you did back at the bonfire, Darren.” He aimed a wink at me and flashed me a warm smile.
“Thanks,” I managed to say, “I hope you’re right, Drew.”
“Drew, what are you doing?” A girl our age walked up behind Drew and looked us over. Her hazel brown eyes rested on Michael for a fraction of a second before quickly looking away but there was no mistaking the resentment hidden behind them. With her hair pulled back in a bun and in a beautiful green gown, Vanessa, Michael’s ex, looked more imposing and intimidating than ever. “We need to head back to our group,” she said as she waited for Drew to leave with her.
Micheal cleared his throat behind me. “I’m going to head into our dressing room and see if Mr. Holland needs something from us, too.” He gave Drew a curt nod and walked in the direction of our dressing room.
“We should probably head there, too, Drew.” Diana planted another kiss on his cheek and briskly caught up to Michael.
“Good luck, Darren,” he shot me a quick smile as Vanessa pulled on his arm.
“Good luck, Drew,” I said, as I watched them disappear around a corner.
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Veteran’s Memorial High School was the first group up and, so far, they were incredible. Being the last group to perform, I snuck away from our dressing room and stood by the side of the stage as they finished a rendition of Fun’s Carry On. As I watched, the choir regrouped and Vanessa and Drew walked to the front of the stage. The auditorium grew quiet as the two began to sing.
.
“You and me we made a vow.
(For better or for worse.)
I can't believe you let me down.
(But the proof is in the way it hurts.)”
.
Vanessa and Drew walked around each other in a small circle onstage. The chemistry between them was palpable as they finished each other’s verses in incredible synchronicity.
As I looked on, I found myself lost in the hurt behind both their voices. Vanessa’s I understood. She had just lost her boyfriend and her heart must be broken. Andrew though? Maybe it was simply my guilt projecting through … and yet I could hear his soul hurting through his singing.
.
“(For months on end I've had my doubts.)
Denying every tear.
(I wish this would be over now.)
But I know that I still need you here.”
.
In that last verse, Drew casually looked to the side of the stage where I stood and our eyes locked. Like vile in my throat, my own guilt rose up and threatened to choke me. I hadn’t told him about my hookup with Michael on our Austin trip - I was too embarrassed about my actions. Granted, I wasn’t ashamed enough about it to stop. For the past week and a half, Michael and I found ourselves gravitating to each other. I was a moth and he was my flame.
Now, my shame was staring back at me on this stage and I was too much of a pussy to meet it in the eyes. I looked away from Drew and noticed that Michael had found me and came to stand next to me. My flame to his moth.
“They’re pretty good aren’t they?” he said, his arms crossed in front of him.
I looked back in silence at the pair of them as they continued to sing.
.
“You've been so unavailable.
(Now sadly I know why.)
Your heart is unobtainable.
(Even though, Lord knows, you’ve kept mine.)”
.
“Yeah, they are,” I replied, almost at a whisper. “Michael?”
“Yes, Darren?”
“Do you -”
Do you ... what? Do you like me the way I want you to like me? Or were we just fooling around?
“I don’t think what we’re doing is right.”
I thought he would protest. I thought he’d say he didn’t care about Vanessa anymore. Instead, his cool shrug rang out like a broken promise: silent and unbearable.
“Yeah, you’re probably right, D.”
I looked over at him. “Maybe we could talk about this a little more later?” I shrugged. What I didn’t realize was that wanting to talk with him more was simply a ruse to get more time with him without admitting to wanting it.
Michael didn’t meet my gaze. He kept looking straight at Vanessa and Drew but I noticed him blink away some sadness in his eyes. “Yeah. Maybe,” he shrugged again.
.
“I have loved you for many years.
(Maybe I am just not enough.)
You've made me realize my deepest fear.
By lying and tearing us up.”
.
Vanessa, Drew and the rest of their chorus joined their voices in the last verse. The result was a gut wrenching wall of sound that cut through everyone’s hearts. Their voices echoed around the auditorium and engulfed us. My own thoughts swirled around me like a whirlpool.
Drew was good to me. He was funny, kind, sexy - he was everything I should be happy with. And he was also smart. I knew it would only be a matter of time before he figured out there was something going on between Michael and me.
“We should head back to the others, Darren. We’ll be up soon.”
I nodded but kept staring at the two seniors in front of me pouring their hearts out onstage. For an instant, Drew turned sideways and caught my gaze once more. Before I could react, he shot me a small smile and turned away again.
Michael waited for me a few steps away before he resigned and walked back to join our group. I remained standing still, my arms crossed in front of me in a poor attempt at comfort, as Vanessa and Drew finished their song with a haunting whisper.
.
“(You say I'm crazy.)
'Cause you don't think I know what you've done
(But when you call me baby.)
I know I'm not the only one.
(I know I’m not the only one.)
I know I’m not the only one.”
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“Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome to the stage, from Homer Hanna High School, the Emanon choir.”
With a polite round of applause, the auditorium’s audience welcomed us as the stage’s curtains were raised. I swallowed the lump of anxious fear that welled in my throat and looked to my right where Diana and Michael stood in the center of our group. With a deep hum, I joined the rest of my team as we created a strong, yet subtle foundation for the beginning of our song. After a few seconds of acapella ambiance, a piano’s soft melody joined our sound and our team leaders, Diana and Michael, took a few steps forward.
.
“There’s a fire
Starting in my heart.
Reaching a fever pitch and it’s bringing me out the dark.”
.
Diana started our performance off with a strong and confident sound, making her entrance as stark and bright as the spot light that shone on her. As the rest of us continued to provide background sound ambiance, I found myself entranced at the ease in which Diana carried herself.
.
“Finally, I can see you crystal clear.
Go ahead and sell me out and I’ll lay your ship bare.
See how I’ll leave with every piece of you.
Don’t underestimate the things that I will do.
There’s a fire starting in my heart
Reaching a fever pitch and it’s bringing me out the dark.”
.
Michael had been the one to propose Adele’s Rolling in the Deep as our choir’s opening song. With the way his vibrant, raspy voice weaved its way through the second verse, I could make out how perfectly suited his voice was to the strength required from such a powerful song.
.
“Baby, I have no story to be told.
But I’ve heard one on you and it’s gonna make your head burn.
Think of me in the depths of your despair.
Making a home down there as mine sure won’t be shared.”
.
Diana and Michael began walking towards each other but, in the last second, would turn and walk away. Their faces portrayed a mixture of anger and longing perfectly reflecting the regret and resentment behind the song. Additionally, their voices complimented each other so well, it was electrifying. As a unit, the rest of us continued to add ambient sounds to the background of their duet. The result was a well orchestrated, chill-inducing song brimming with affection and longing.
I suspected the reason Diana had proposed this song was teetering between her self assurance in her talent and the pain she still felt for Tay not choosing her.
Seeing as how Michael was VP of the club, I wasn’t sure what his reason was to go through with this song choice. Still, I was sure this was more than just another competition song to the both of them.
.
“Throw your soul through every open door.
(Count your blessings to find what you look for.)
Turn my sorrow into treasured gold.
(Pay me back in kind and reap just what you sown.)”
.
As Michael and Diana continued to power through their song, my mind drifted to the first time I saw Michael. He was sitting on a stage much smaller than this one, singing a song with just as much fervor as he showed now. His eyebrows creased, his eyes set, his poise erect, he was as in control and in the moment as he could be and it enthralled me even then.
Everything he did, from the way moved to the way he talked and sang, was filling my head with a single thought. I was beginning to love this guy. And maybe I was too young and naive to know what love was, but at this moment, right here and now, I felt myself completely and utterly in love with him.
Almost on cue, Michael threw a small glance at me. One that was not any meaningful amount of time to a regular person but meant the world to me. In it, I saw both of us the week before, sprawled on our hotel bed with the sides of our heads resting on our headboard as we stared at each other.
.
“The scars of your love remind me of us.
They keep me thinking that we almost had it all.
The scars of your love - they leave me breathless.
I can’t help feeling -”
.
Michael’s voice carried our group through the bridge of our song and into its powerful conclusion and, in that moment, I didn’t care whether we won or lost. I was just happy to be sharing this experience with my team and, if I was being entirely candid, with people as talented as Michael and Diana.
.
“We could have had it all.
(Rolling in the deep.)
You had my heart inside of your hands.
(And you played it to the beat.)
And you played and you played and you played
And you played it to the beat.”
.
With a roaring applause, the auditorium praised our performance and, like a child being commended for his efforts, my face beamed with pride and pleasure.
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“And now, we’d like to thank the five high schools that attended this year’s Aurora memorial choir competition.” The announcer, Mr. Tobins, superintendent of the school district, stood in front of a three foot tall trophy. The gleam it gave off seemed almost brighter than the spot light that shone on it.
Surprised, I felt Tay take my left hand as we sat in the back rows of the auditorium with the other high schools.
“Remember, guys,” Mr. Holland whispered from a couple of seats down. Win or lose, I’m proud of the work you all did.”
Bless his heart, all the rest of us could do was smile. Anything more would cause our anxiety to betray us and risk a nervous breakdown.
Because I was sitting on the last seat of our row, I was able to take a peek at the school that sat next to us, Veteran’s Memorial. I scanned the faces of their choir looking for Drew. As I searched, I found a girl’s gaze focus in my direction. It took me a second to realize the girl staring back at me was Vanessa. Her gaze shook me for a second but I managed to pull away from it and find Drew. I saw him mouth a good luck at me and offered one in exchange. I fiddled with the camera around my neck trying to trick my guilt away.
My heart ached at the thought of what I was doing behind his back but it seemed a bigger betrayal to deny me a chance with Michael after the small epiphony I had onstage. Before I could continue down that train of thought, the announcer once again spoke.
“And now, without further adieu, the winner of this year’s Aurora Memorial trophy goes to,” Mr. Tobins paused just then, allowing the anticipation to grow. Granted, there was no need for the antics as I already felt like my heart would explode from overuse as the throbs in my chest grew louder and louder.
“Emanon from Homer Hanna High School!”
The words echoed around the auditorium yet took entire seconds to register in my head. Only the strong squeeze of Tay’s hand and her subsequent pull upwards managed to break through my mind’s glaze.
“Darren! We won! We won!”
My mind was still cloudy with disbelief as I felt Tay push me into the aisle and then pull me forward. As a group, our team began to run towards the stage to accept our trophy.
“Congratulations, Emanon.” Mr. Tobins said as he handed the trophy over to a jubilant Mr. Holland. “You all earned it.”
Even then, seeing Mr. Holland hold a three foot trophy the way a father holds a newborn, I was still dumbstruck.
It wasn’t until the trophy was handed over for me to hold that our win began to register as real.
“We won.” I said, not nearly loud enough for anyone other than Tay to hear. Still, my declaring our win seemed to make it all real just then. “We won.” I said, much louder now. “We won!”
With the competition coming to an end, the crowd began to disperse. While our team began to congratulate the stars of the show, Diana and Michael, I felt familiar hands lay on my shoulders.
“Congratulations, guys. You all earned the win.”
I turned to meet Drew’s alluring gaze. “Thanks, Drew. I - this means a lot to me - to us.” I beamed at him, proud of my hard work and proud of my team.
“Want me to take a picture of you all?” Drew asked and pointed at the camera wrapped around my neck.
Wrapped up in all the chaos of our win, I had entirely forgotten to take pictures as our club’s journalist. “Yeah, that would be great, Drew. Thanks!”
In a swift motion, I pulled the camera from my neck and handed it over to Drew. “Guys!” I yelled out. “Let’s take a picture!” It took a while, but Tay and I finally managed to get our group’s attention. We all pulled in close to each other and waited for Drew to snap a picture of us. As we lined up, I smelled a familiar body spray behind me.
“I knew you’d help us win this, D.”
I smiled without having to glance back. “Thanks, Michael. But this win is thanks to you and Diana.”
“Maybe,” he said and I felt his hand rest on the small of my back. “But you helped bring out the best in me this year.”
My cheeks grew warm at this revelation and in that moment, the flash of my camera also seemed to blind me. I rubbed my eyes and felt a strong grip on my forearm. Before I could clear the stars from my eyes, I was being pulled over to the far side of the stage to take more pictures with Sam’s parent’s camera.
“I’ll check to see how the picture came out, Darren!” I heard Drew call.
“Yeah, that’s fine,” I muttered as I was pulled in front of a petite, blonde lady.
Tonight turned out to be a better night than anything I could have dreamed off and, as Michael wrapped his arms around my waist for another picture, I wondered if there was anything the remainder of the school year had in store for me that could make me happier than I was in this moment.