Obligatory warnings and disclaimers:
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If reading this is in any way illegal where you are or at your age, or you don't want to read about male/male relationships, go away. You shouldn't be here.
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I don't know any of the celebrities in this story, and this story in no way is meant to imply anything about their sexualities, personalities, or anything else. This is a work of pure fiction.
Yes. You're eyes are not deceiving you. I'm back. It's unexpected, I know. It's unexpected for me too. I thought I was finished with nifty. After I had written chapter fourteen (God knows how long ago!) things just started happening. To sum it up, the shit hit the fan. I had no choice but to forget about nifty, about my Encountering Nick series, about my loathed cliffhanger at the end of chapter fourteen, about my adored nifty stories 'JC's Hitchhiker' and 'Nick and Ashley' (of which I am clueless as to what has happened with them since last April and unfortunately will never know), and, regrettably, about my readers (if any still exist). I'm sorry. If my apology counts for anything, thank you. Now that I am back, for the time being, I can't promise rapid updates, or weekly updates. I can promise I'll try. And with the support from you, maybe I'll succeed. This is my attempt to rejuvenate my series. Please, let me know what you think, and if it is even worth my aspirant attempt. Thanks again, to all of you, for your patience, your support, and your friendship.
Questions and commentary can be sent to "kdawg96@hotmail.com".
*** Where we last left off: Geoff, Nick Carter's beloved boyfriend, caught Nick in bed with his band mate, and supposed "best friend", Brian Littrell. Devastated, Geoff dashed out of the Atlanta Capitol Plaza hotel suite, leaving Nick and Brian in an awkward solitude struggling to grasp what had just transpired. After the incident, Nick was distraught, and refused to talk to anyone, especially Brian. With Geoff avoiding Nick, despite Nick's many attempts to get in contact with him, the issue remained unresolved. Meanwhile, Jack, the conniving dancer from Geoff's past, caught on to Kevin's devious ways, and is bound to stir up some trouble. As the tour busses were leaving for Orlando, Nick sat down next to Geoff, initiating the anticipated confrontation they both ultimately knew would come.
Encountering Nick - Chapter Fifteen
A thunderous wave of screams roared throughout the arena, so loud it could have deafened the man on stage. Fortunately, as he has done for ages now, the man wore sufficient earplugs to protect him as he sang.
"I want to thank you for all of the things you've done. But most for choosing me to be the one. It's funny how life can take new meaning, when you came and changed what I believe in. The world on the outside's trying to pull me in, but they can't touch me, cause I got you..."
He was singing to the massive crowd. He was amazing. He was incredible. This man made the immeasurable people in the crowd feel as though he was singing for them, to them. As if the words were written specifically for them.
"And it hits me when I reach for you, that I'm afraid you won't be there. Maybe I am in too deep, but I don't care..."
And the crowd believed him. And believed in him. They reached out for him. Wanted him. Needed him.
"I'm right where I belong, I got you. Yeah, prove them wrong... I've got you, yeah. Can't deny what's true. No, they can't touch me, baby."
On stage, he stood above them. But quite the opposite, it was the crowd that felt higher than ever, on top of the world. He brought out exhilaration in people they may have never even known existed within them. This man was special. Special because he has the ability to make everyone feel uniquely special too, regardless.
"I got you... I got you... Right where I belong. Oh yeah... I've got you baby... Right here I belong... Can't deny what's true... No they can't touch me, cause I... got you."
The words this man wrote, the words he expressed, the words he sang, were indeed true. This man, my man, meant everything he sang. And, although he sang to the crowd, of whom each and everyone believed it was he or she this man sang to, he sang to me, and only me.
The lights washed out. The arena went black. The song was over. But the storm of fans thundered, with waves of shattering screams enduring the arena. Within the darkness, the man escaped back stage, seeking refuge from the relentless storm. He retreated to me. I was his protector. His ally. His lover.
Soaked from the downpour of sweat emerging from every part of his flawless body, the man collapsed in my arms. Holding him, he gazed up at me, and I looked back at him, directly into his eyes. Deep blue eyes, so powerful words cannot explain. This man had the ability to penetrate every morsel of my soul, but at the same open a window to his own.
Memories flood over me of the day we first encountered. Standing in a restroom, of all places, when our eyes met, and I stared into that beautiful window for the first time. And that's when I felt something I had never felt before. A blissful feeling some only experience a few times in their lives, if they are even fortunate enough to experience it at all. Just looking into his eyes, I was conquered with a sensation of comfort, familiarity, and love. I don't know how, but I knew then that this man was no ordinary man. He was special.
It's been over a year since that day, and he's yet to prove me wrong. Without breaking our amorous gaze, I stabilize him, providing him with the balance to stand unaided. Through his encompassed exhaustion, he manages to present me with the pleasure of his implausible smile. Even now, a year later, that smile does wonders for me. It's an asylum offering comfort in times of great need, reassuring me that, come what may, I will always possess his love.
He didn't have to say a word; I knew what he was thinking. I put my arm around the fatigued man, supporting him as we walked leisurely towards his dressing room. As we stepped inside, I guided him over to the crimson velour couch, and sat him down gently. Once again, we stared into each other's eyes. Being alone this time, it seemed more powerful, more passionate. We were willingly trapped within a trance of affection. In tender manner, I then took his smooth idyllic face in my hands. I brought it closer to me, right up to my face. Our lips were inches apart.
"I love you." I said, as I pulled his face closer, surrendering him to an affectionate, passionate kiss. As we parted, he enchanted me with that smile yet again.
"I love you too, Geoff." He faintly replied.
I sat down on the couch next to him, and embraced him, exhibiting my undying affection once again. It was getting late, we both agreed. He got up, and headed to the bathroom to freshen up and take a much needed shower. For the meantime, I sat unaccompanied on the couch, showering in ecstasy that is Nick Carter.
I can't help but smile when I think of him. Encountering Nick in that restroom back in New York City was the greatest thing that could have ever happened to me in my entire life. I'm sure of it.
Yet, like any couple, straight or gay, we've had our difficulties. Bickering is normal though. Nick and I still bicker from time to time. A relationship isn't real if you don't disagree once in a while. Although, it wasn't very long ago that there almost was no 'Nick and Geoff'. It all erupted from one single argument. About money. Come to think of it now, it seems so typical. And so irrelevant. However that's not what nearly ignited the breakup.
The night of the argument Nick and I went to sleep unsettled. Actually, he apologized. I didn't. When I woke up early the next morning I felt horrible. Before leaving for an early rehearsal, I was intending to apologize to Nick. I looked at him though, asleep, so innocent, gentle, loving, and I couldn't disturb him, couldn't wake him. So I left a note. Produced a written apology. Little did I know he would wake up only to find me gone, overreact, and assume I'd left him for good.
Accordingly, Nick hurried over to Brian's suite, and completely broke down. One thing led to another, both men expressing their grief, and Brian ultimately told Nick the truth. That he loved him. Knowing he'd likely regret it later, Brian kissed Nick. Overwhelmed with grief and extremely vulnerable, Nick fell victim to Brian, who took advantage of him. That's when I walked in, midway of Brian giving Nick a full out blowjob.
That's what nearly ignited the breakup. I freaked out, and dashed out of the room, never wanting to speak to either one of them again. And I managed that for two full days. That is until the day we were leaving for Orlando.
I had stepped onto the bus and took a seat. Looking around I had seen only a few people on it so far. AJ and Jenny had been in the back, cuddled up on the couch together, and Kevin had been at the front of the bus giving the bus driver some specific directions. At first, I was rather relieved that Nick hadn't arrived yet. Luckily, that morning, when I had snuck into the room I had shared with Nick, in order to acquire my baggage before we left, Nick was in the shower. I was able to quickly pack up my things and get out of the room undetected before Nick had gotten out of the shower.
But there would be no avoiding him on the bus. And I had realized that all too well. I knew this and was prepared for it, but remained fretful. I really did still love him, and really just wanted to forget about everything that happened between Nick and Brian, but I couldn't. Nick had betrayed my trust. I knew it was going to take time, effort and a hell of a lot to earn that trust back.
Before I had finished that thought on the bus, someone had taken a seat next to me. I looked over and anxiety permeated me. "Nick." I had said softly.
"Geoff. We need to talk."
"I know. We do." I said, with hell of a lot of strength, not letting him know I was terrified of the imminent conversation. I had kept a straight face, and didn't let any emotion slip through. At first, that is.
Nick, searching himself for the right words to say, was dominated by silence initially, unable to do anything but stare at his feet. Quickly, I became impatient.
"So... You said it yourself. We need to talk." I said insensitively. "So talk!"
"I'm sorry." He softly said, so quiet I almost missed it. "For everything."
I admit I was taken back by his straightforward apology. I didn't expect it without ado. But he said it immediately, and since I didn't disrupt with a clever boorish comment, he continued with his apology.
"I've been thinking, hard, for the past few days." Nick lifted his gaze from his feet, and looked at me. "It's obvious this is my fault, and I clearly deserve all of the blame. I can't really explain what happened... but I'll try at least."
Nick stopped for a second or two, deciphering the proper words to say, and then carried on. All this time I remained strong, allowing no emotion slip through.
"It started with that fight at the restaurant, three nights ago, I guess. That was my fault too. Who was I to tell you what to do? You were simply just trying to do something nice and generous, cause that is the type of wonderful person you are, and I totally shut you down. What kind of person am I? I know the answer to that though. Selfish. Stupid. Idiotic. Disloyal. Unworthy."
Again, Nick paused. This time I was able to understand why. He was restraining his emotions, like me, but wasn't doing as great of a job. Tears gradually started to flow. But, nonetheless, he kept on apologizing.
"I could barely sleep that night. Knowing you were angry with me tore me up inside. When I finally did fall asleep, I woke the next morning to find you gone. I'm not a logical guy. It didn't click that you were possibly just at rehearsal... I overacted, freaked out... if I only saw that note. God. Then none of this would have happened."
I was taken back for a second time. "Wait." I interrupted. I couldn't believe it. "You never found the note?"
"No." he regretfully said. "Not until the next day, after everything had happened. I found it under the coffee table, where it apparently had fallen. I don't know how. I don't know when. But... fuck... why didn't I see it!"
Nick's eyes welled up again. Mine began to as well. I waited for Nick to continue.
"Like I said, I freaked out. Ran over to Brian's, and completely broke down. Again, I don't know how, or why, but he broke down too." Nick paused, gained control of himself, and then said in a very serious tone, "He told me he loved me."
My jaw must of dropped or something, because Nick repeated it for me, verifying that what I had just heard was indeed the truth.
"He told me he loved me. I was shocked. And then he kissed me. I didn't know what was going on. Honest, I didn't. I was too concerned with you leaving me, consumed with guilt completely susceptible to anything. In this case, I guess I was susceptible to Brian."
"He took advantage of you." I stated, finally realizing the truth to the matter. "He used you."
"I don't know. I guess. I didn't want to do... to do those things we did. Not with Brian. Never with Brian. Only with you. You're the only one I want to be with." Nick confessed.
There was no hiding my emotions any longer. My eyes burst with the welled up tears I had been holding in for so long now. "I only want to be with you too." I managed to say through my fervent sobs.
What a sight the two of us were. Two strong, grown men, bawling like a pair of two year olds whose pacifiers had been stolen.
"We can't do this. We can't cry like this." Nick said, trying to settle the two of us down. He let a small laugh escape as the tears subsided. "We're 22, for gods sake. We can't cry like this. You can't cry like this for me. I can't cry like this for you. No more."
I chuckled. "You're right." I agreed. "But what now? We're not going to close the door on this relationship. Right? We have to fix this. I want to fix this. But there are some things..."
"What things?" Nick interrupted.
"Like the way I choose to live my life. And the way you choose to live yours. I love you. No doubts there. But if I choose to spend money on this, go out and do that, or whatever, it's my choice, my decision. The same goes for you."
"I know." Nick said. "I see things the same way. I don't want to close the door. I don't want to give up on it. I don't want to fight anymore. We will find a way around it. Where's the love we had? We can make it last. Tell me what I got to be. Tell me what you want to do. 'Cause I can't live my life the way you want me to. You know I can't go on living like we do." Nick said, almost in tears all over again. "Do I have to cry for you?"
"No more crying!" I laughed. "But I'm not going to tell you what to be, or what to do. And you're right, we can't go on living like this either, cause these past few days have been hell for me. Absolute torture. We have to have trust between for us to persist. Trust is crucial."
And I trust you with my life." Nick assured me.
"But I don't fully trust you." I confessed. "Before you ask, I'll tell you why. And I know it's not your fault. It's just..." I paused, and Nick, awfully apprehensive, patiently waited for me to continue. "It's just that everywhere you go, there's Brian. Everywhere we go, there's Brian. No matter what, there's Brian. I have to declare that the thought of disloyalty occurred to me before... you know. Before that night."
"I don't know what to say to prove to you that nothing will ever happen with Brian again. But I promise you it wont. And I guess I understand where this is all coming from. I don't know what's up with management, and why Brian and I get the exclusive arrangements for just the two of us. I have to admit too, I was also becoming suspicious of these arrangements. And now I think that Brian had something to do with it, possibly persuading management to adjust the scheduling. Do you think he could do that? Is it possible? Or is this my imagination? It is ridiculous for that long, for two full week, Brian and I had something secluded for the two of us every single day."
"I know." I concurred. "Something is wrong there. Very wrong." I paused, took his hand and looked into his eyes. "But we can worry about that later. He'll be on the bus soon enough. But ignore him. Forget about him. We'll worry about it in Orlando."
"Okay." Nick said, as he leaned in and kissed me. "Thank you."
"I love you Nick. I always will. And I know I you'll earn that trust back soon enough. Now let's put this behind us now. Forget about it."
"I love you too." Nick said, letting go of my hand and embracing me. As he let go of me, he looked as though he had been knocked in the head with a tennis ball. His eyes bulged, his forehead crinkled, and I knew there were some serious thoughts fluttering through that head of his.
"What?" I asked mystified, as Nick rummaged through his bag to locate a pad of paper and a pen.
He turned to me, flashing that million-dollar smile of his, and said, "A song. I have the greatest idea for a song."
I smiled at him, and looked over his shoulder as he began to scribble words flowing from his mind, to his hand, and onto the paper. His handwriting was pretty messy, and the only words I was able to decipher were 'do I have to cry for you'.
What a man this Nick Carter is. He's not selfish, or stupid, or idiotic. He's not disloyal, and definitely not unworthy. Instead, he is quite the opposite. He's selfless, and stylish. He's extremely clever, and incredibly inspired. And believe me when I say he's undeniably, without a doubt, worthy of everything great in this world and the next.
This man, my man, is special. He's my protector. My ally. My lover. And so much more.
From crimson velour couch, I looked up to see my man standing there in front of me, arms crossed, in nothing but a towel, smiling down at me.
"What?" I blushed, clueless to how long I had dazed off for. "How long have you been standing there?"
"Just a couple minutes." He laughed. "You looked like you were in such deep in thought."
I laughed, beset with comedic embarrassment.
"Just once I would I like to get inside that head of yours." Nick said fascinatingly.
I looked up at him and smiled evocatively. "There are ways to make that happen."
Catching my implication, Nick grinned mischievously.
"If you think the crowd is wild," I told him, "you haven't seen nothing yet."
*** End of Chapter Fifteen Please e-mail me with all questions and comments at kdawg96@hotmail.com - and I'm always open to new and fresh ideas. Sorry, again about my MANY months hiatus. I look forward to hearing from all of you. Check back (optimistically) shortly for Chapter Sixteen.