Disclaimer: If you're reading this installment, you don't necessarily need a disclaimer, but just in case: We don't claim to know anything about Nsync, BSB, Reese Witherspoon, Ryan Philleppe...yadda yadda..or to imply anything about their sexuality. Uhm..Oh! If you're under 18 (who listens to that anyway?) and are offended (What ya doing here, then?) by homosexual, bisexual, and straight themes..uhm..bye bye bye? (Yes, bad joke)
People: I, Rowan, would like to give a shout out to the following people: Kelly: for always making me laugh. Barbara: For urging me to write. And for Terry: I still love you...
People: Now, I, Mirage, would like to give a shout out: Fred: For always making me smile, I love ya bro! Kaylee: Stay strong, Sweetie. Gary: Keep those curls!
Also: This installment is very..I guess emotional. It deals with drug abuse. ::shrugs:: read at your own peril, I guess. Email us, you know, let us know what you think...we like fan mail.
Yes. We do.
yougottaloveus@loveable.com (Yes, it's a real email address, we got it at www.mail.com)
Take care,
End of Innocence By Mirage and Rowan
End of Innocence
Chapter 7
"What's wrong, Rome?" Brian asked as he wrapped his arms around his lover.
"Nothing," Cesar sniffed, wiping a tear from his eye. "Just happy memories."
"Happy memories don't usually make you cry, Babe." Brian pointed out. Cesar chuckled.
"These do." Cesar watched Brian stand up, stretch, and leave the room, saying he'll be back in a moment.
Brian came back with two glasses of champagne. He handed one to Cesar and made himself comfortable next to his lover.
"Here you go, Sweetie."
Sighing, Cesar took a sip and then went back to the sketch pad once again. "You know, it's gotten hard to sketch this. Maybe I can write it," Cesar sighed and took the sketch he was doing and tossed it on the floor with the other twenty.
"Having trouble, Sweets?" Brian asked softly.
Cesar nodded, frowning slightly. "Yeah," He reached to his left for the picture frame and traced the faces. So many memories, so many happy memories.
He sighed. "I love it here."
--
"I want a house!" Justin grumbled as he pouted on a sofa in the tour bus. The rest of the guys sat around playing cards or eating, Chris looked up at him.
"You're too young to own a house," Chris told him as he took a bite of a sandwich.
"Humph," was Justin's retort.
--
"I was thinking about what Justin said earlier," Josh whispered to Chris as they lay in their bunk, arms draped across each other.
"And?" Chris asked.
"What if the 5 of us got a house?" JC asked quickly, looking at Chris.
"All five of us?" Chris raised an eyebrow at his lover, wondering if he was serious.
"I'm serious! It would be like, tour 24/7 except...without the moving," Josh beamed, quite proud of his epiphany.
"Do you think we could stand each other?"
"Sure!" JC said quickly, hoping he was right.
"We'll talk about it tomorrow," Chris said and yawned. JC nodded and rested his head on Chris' chest.
"Tomorrow."
--
Lance's mouth fell open.
"Joey! It's beautiful!" Lance exclaimed and wrapped his arms around him as they gazed up at the huge house.
"I knew you'd love it. Come on," he led Lance inside and into a large foyer.
"Oh my," was all he could squeak out. Joey opened a door on the bottom floor.
"Guestroom, for when relatives come to visit," he pulled him across the entire length of the mansion. "And here," he smiled proudly. "Here is the family room." It was what Lance had asked him to get. A large family room with a fireplace.
"It's absolutely amazing," he breathed. "Show me the rest." Joey laughed.
"This kitchen is next to the family room, dining room next to that." He pulled him up the stairs. "Our bedroom," he opened the biggest room with a connected bathroom. "There are five other bedrooms. I figure for when the guys come over and when people visit and stuff."
"It's perfect, Joey! Absolutely perfect! Do you think we're ready to move in together, though?"
"James, we've been living together for years, now. This is just making it official," Joey beamed and kissed his cheek.
"You're right. When do we move in?"
"As soon as the tour is over. Next week."
"I can't wait," Lance grinned as they left the house, hand in hand.
--
"It's over," Justin sighed and flopped down as the bus pulled away from the last venue.
"I'm exhausted," JC yawned. He put his head in Chris' lap. Chris mindlessly whirled his fingers around his hair. Lance hugged Joey.
"I'm so glad we bought the house early," he grinned.
"Me too."
"Hey, since we're in New York, why don't we just have 'em drop us all off there and we can relax for a week or two before the rest of you go home," Lance suggested.
"Are there beds there?" JC asked.
"Lots."
"I'm game." He said immediately. Lance smiled.
"Great," he skipped up to the front of the bus and gave the driver directions.
--
They all fumbled and bumbled off the bus and up the sidewalk to the door. Joey unlocked it and pushed it open.
"Follow us," Lance beamed in his tired state.
"More stairs?" Justin pouted.
"There's a room downstairs if you want," Joey pointed to the downstairs guestroom.
"G'nite," he smiled and ran to the door, quickly disappearing. They chuckled and walked up the spiral staircase to the landing.
"Behold the hall of doors," Lance laughed. "Yoou can have any room." Chris helped JC to the nearest one, who was already half asleep.
"Night." Joey and Lance soon found the way to their room in the dark. The light of the moon streamed through the window and onto the plush carpet.
"Joey?"
"Yeah?"
"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Lance heard him nod in the dark.
"I'll call the realtor tomorrow," Joey said before crawling under the covers.
"Thanks, Sweetie."
--
Lance yawned as he fished through the cabinets finding enough mugs for everyone's coffee. Joey was on the phone with the realtor. A room door slammed and Justin sat down at the table with a thud.
"You'll have to have doughnuts instead of cereal, J," Lance told him. Justin made a grunting noise before devouring 3 of the pastries. Lance eyed the other two boxes in the corner, moved in front of them and silently thanked God he remembered to get more.
"It's all set," Joey smiled and kissed Lance's cheek.
"What's all set?" Chris and JC asked as they joined Justin at the table and started eating. Lance brought out the coffee.
"How do you guys like it here?" Joey asked.
"It's great! There's so much room! I thought all five of us would be cramped in here but you could have seven more people and you'd hardly notice!" Chris exclaimed.
"I agree with Chris. You just need to do some major decorating and get some more furniture. I bet Christina and Britney would love to help buy furniture for this place," Justin put in as he swallowed his sixth doughnut. Lance laughed and brought out the other two boxes that were welcomed with open arms.
"Well, what would you say if I told you I just called the realtor and we could put all our names on the deed and all own this house. It would be ours," Joey grinned.
"Are you sure?" JC asked, sipping his coffee.
"Yeah! Justin wanted to have a house, here's his chance," Lance said.
"Wait. You're doing this just because I wanted a house? Guys I can't let you do that!" Justin protested.
"Come on, Justin. Who do you have the most fun with?" JC said, urging Justin to say 'Yes.'
"You guys." Was Justin's reply.
"So what's the problem?" Chris asked, hoping to get him to say 'Yes.' as well.
"You guys are giving up your privacy."
"We have our own room, don't we? We want you guys here." Joey said nodding his head with a grin on his face.
"You're sure?"
"Positive!"
"Okay," Justin beamed and hugged Lance and Joey. "This is so cool! I have a great idea for how I want my room to look." He ran up the stairs to find one that suited him.
"I'm gonna call Britney," Lance shook his head, pulled out his cell phone and dialed the familiar number.
"Hello?"
"Christina?"
"Lance! How are you?"
"Great! You staying with Britney?"
"Yeah just for the last few dates of her tour. Guess what?"
"What?"
"I got a record deal!"
"Chrissy that's great! Guys, Christina got a record deal!"
"I thought you guys were off now?"
"We are! We got a house. All of us!" Lance beamed.
"Seriously? That's great! We'll have to see it next time we're in Florida."
"It's not in Florida. We're in New York."
"We're in New York tomorrow! Let me get Britty." Lance heard her mumbling in the background.
"Lance!" Britney's familiar, tinny voice rang through the phone.
"Hey!"
"What's this I heard about a house?"
"We bought a house and we need some people to help buy furniture."
"Buy? Oooh, you called the right people! My tour ends tomorrow so we'll be right over. Oh, is it okay if we bring two more people?"
"Absolutely! Who are they?"
"You'll see. I'll see you guys tomorrow."
"All right. Bye, Britney. Give Chrissy a kiss for me."
"You know I will. Bye Lance." He broke the connection.
"Christina, Britney, and two guests are coming tomorrow to help us buy furniture for this place," Lance told the remaining kitchen dwellers.
"Great!" They all replied in unison.
--
Christina opened the door to the house.
"Helllllllllllo?" Britney called holding the hand of one of the visitors.
"Are you sure it was okay for me to come?" they whispered dragging the second guest behind.
"We're positive!"
"Christina! Britney!" Justin yelled from the top of the stairs and came bounding down before stopping dead in his tracks. "H-Hi," he stumbled upon seeing the Adonis in front of him. Short, blonde curls and clear blue eyes hid behind a pair of dark sunglasses.
"Justy, this is Ryan Phillippe and Reese Witherspoon." Britney and Christina winked at each other, their plan was going into action. Soon the rest of the house crowded around the new arrivals and the introductions were made.
"Christina and I have an announcement," Britney beamed and kissed the top of Christina's hand.
"Oh is there a ring? Are you two getting married?" Chris asked, inspecting both sets of fingers.
"No. Actually, our little family has grown," They grinned at each other.
"You're pregnant?" Lance guessed.
"No. Let us finish."
"Sorry."
"As I said, we've had an addition to the family. Reese," Britney beamed and pulled her between them.
"Wait. You two, or, three are a couple?" Justin clarified. They all nodded. "That's great! But I thought Reese and Ryan were..."
"No," Ryan laughed from next to him. "It's a publicity thing. She's dating those two and I'm gay." Justin felt his heart skip a few more beats.
"Wow what a coincidence!" Josh grinned and nudged Justin.
"Shut up," Justin muttered through clenched teeth.
"What's a coincidence?" Ryan asked.
"Nothing," Justin jumped in.
"So, can we get the tour of this place? We wanna see what kind of damage we get to cause?" Christina asked excitedly.
"What have we gotten ourselves into?" Joey laughed and began the tour of the downstairs before getting to the bedrooms. Justin's was first.
"We have to put in blue since it's Justin's favorite color," Britney analyzed.
"Really? That's your favorite color? Mine too," Ryan smiled. Justin blushed and nodded.
"Ever since I was little."
"You know? I would put a large book shelf in that corner by the window, king sized waterbed with a blue and maroon bedspread..." Ryan started.
"Dark blue carpet and white curtains," Justin finished.
"Exactly." Ryan said grinning. "You read my mind."
All three girls looked at each other and smiled. Mission Completed.
--
"I think we can make some real progress with this place," Christina confirmed as she sipped a cup of tea.
"We'll start shopping for furniture tomorrow," Reese smiled.
"Hey, I've been meaning to ask. How'd you guys decide to become a couple?" Justin inquired as he drank from Ryan's mug of coffee. The two had quickly become connected at the hip.
"Well Christina and I were at a promo for my tour."
"And Cesar and I were there for a friend."
"Basically Britty and I looked at each other and than at Reese and we all just..."
"Knew," the three said together.
"That's sweet," Lance grinned and laid his head on Joey's shoulder.
"Whose Cesar?" Justin asked.
"My cousin. He's awesome," Reese explained. "Which reminds me. I need to call him." She flipped open her cell phone and made the proper connection. "Hey Cuz!" Reese said as she walked over and leaned on the doorframe.
"We really don't see each other enough," Chris thought aloud. "I mean us, and you guys. Our schedules are always so out there."
"Especially when Chrissy starts recording," Britney sighed and stroked Christina's short blonde hair.
"Britty we'll still see each other," Christina tried to smile. Both had tears in their eyes. Britney pulled Christina into her lap and the two sat holding each other tightly.
"Where are you going to be recording?" Lance asked, an idea boiling inside his brain.
"New York City I think. Why?"
"How long do you have off, Britney?" he continued.
"The rest of this month and next month but there's still some promotion and I'm gonna be recording again soon."
"In New York?"
"I don't know. I haven't talked to management yet. What are you getting at Lansten?" Britney inquired. He smiled and stood up, starting to walk around the table of friends.
"It just so happens, we have a house in New York, plenty of extra bedrooms, and lots of friendly faces."
"No. Lance, we can't do that to you guys. We can't impose like that," Christina protested, her head resting on Britney's shoulder. "Besides, Albany is miles from New York City. Practically five hours each way."
"I'd rather be a five hour drive away than a four hour plane trip from you and Reese," Britney whispered stroking her love's cheek. "And we would be able to see each other a lot more often."
"And if you were recording near to each other, you could have lunch together everyday," JC pointed out from his own spot in Chris' lap.
"Are you sure it wouldn't be a problem?" Britney asked, looking at each individual who all nodded emphatically, absolutely loving Lance's epiphany. "We need to talk to Reese first."
"Talk to Reese about what?" She asked, reappearing after her conversation with Cesar.
"The guys suggested that we move in here for awhile while we're recording in New York," Christina relayed the plan.
"What about Cesar? I can't leave him in California!" She exclaimed. She was not about to leave him.
The group of men all looked at each other.
"There's enough space," Chris said.
"I'm okay with it. Just let me call Cesar." Once again she left the room with the cell phone connected to her ear.
"Let's go pick out a room," Christina grinned and hopped off Britney's lap. The two ran upstairs in a fit of giggles.
"Let's give them our room," Joey suggested. "It's the biggest and it has it's own bathroom."
"My thoughts exactly," Lance smiled and kissed his cheek. "Girls!"
"Yes?"
"You can have our room!" There was a squeal of glee before pounding down the stairs. They each jumped onto one of the boys.
"Thank you!" They said together before running back up the stairs.
"Britty? Chrissy?" Reese appeared. "He's...where'd they go?"
"Upstairs to look at your new room." Reese laughed.
"I need to fly out to California to pick up some things and Cesar. Probably won't take too long."
"Okay. Well your girls are waiting upstairs. I suggest you go help decorate or they'll do something drastic," Justin grinned. Reese chuckled.
"See you guys later." She ran up the stairs.
"Just follow the squeals," Chris yelled. --
Christina, Britney, Ryan, and Justin were all standing in the airport with disguises covering their features. They impatiently waited for Reese and Cesar to arrive from California.
"Hurry up!" Britney whined, hoping from one foot to the other.
"Baby, calm down," Christina giggled. "Come on, sit down." Britney did. Christina sat next to her and started braiding her hair. "I needed something to busy my hands."
"Flight 731 from Los Angeles to Albany has now arrived at Gate 15C."
"That's them!" Britney jumped up and ran to the gate with Christina not far behind. Ryan and Justin chuckled before following them, their pinkies locked together in an inconspicuous motion.
"Look! There they are! Rome! Rezzy!" Christina yelled and grinned as an extremely tall, extremely handsome Italian man waved. Reese ran up and hugged each of them one by one.
Christina ran to Cesar and jumped on him, knocking him to the ground. Laughing, she placed a big kiss on his cheek and stood up. As soon as she was a foot away, he jumped up, grabbed her and hefted her over his shoulder.
"I missed you too." Cesar said as Christina squealed and pounded his back to let her go.
He swirled around and looked at Britney. "Brit!" He exclaimed, taking her in. "New implants I see, they almost look real." he laughed.
"Funny, Knucklehead. Let's get your guys' stuff and go. The furniture is arriving today." Cesar inclined his head and carried Christina off to luggage claim.
--
Reese looked deeply at the picture in her hands. She traced around the silhouette of the bodies. So precious were their memories. At the same time she smiled knowing of the new ones they would be making. Her serene moment was interrupted upon hearing a loud cry from upstairs. She picked herself up and wandered into the living room.
"Guys?" she called and looked around. JC came running down the stairs, anger seething through him. "Are you okay?" she stopped him dead in his tracks. He pushed past her and into the kitchen. She looked at Cesar worriedly before following JC.
He was pouring something white down the garbage disposal. He flipped the switch as the grinding noise filled the room. Christina soon came running after.
"Where is it?" she asked, a fire in her eyes. JC just pointed down the drain. She fell to the floor. Reese ran to her side.
"What's going on, Cesar?" she demanded. Christina looked up and opened her arms to him. He picked her up as she wrapped her legs around his waist and arms around his neck.
"I'm sorry," she whimpered.
"Shh, it's okay honey," he tried to soothe her. Cesar carried her to the bedroom as everyone accumulated around the room from the noise.
"What's going on?" Britney asked Reese. She simply shook her head and shrugged.
"I'm worried," she whispered. Britney wrapped her arms around Reese and kissed the top of her head.
"Everything will be okay, whatever it is."
--
Cesar had just entered the shower, hoping to wash away the thoughts that had been plaguing him for the last few moments.
--
"Cessie!" A young voice called, a young, prepubescent voice. "What's going on? Why ya crying?"
"You wouldn't understand, Tommy." Cesar turned and looked in the mirror, sniffling as he wrestled with the conflicting emotions.
"C'mon," Tommy said urging Cesar to tell him. "You can tell me. Like I'd tell mommy and daddy." Cesar sniffled and looked in his younger brother's eyes.
"I'm gay, Tommy." Cesar said throwing himself against the wall.
A silence befell the two. "So?" Tommy said blinking up at his brother. Their eyes caught and spoke of a silent understanding.
--
"How could I fail you?" Cesar screamed at the foggy mirror, hoping to chase away the thoughts.
--
The bare white walls of the hospital loomed in gloomy thoughts as Cesar sat on the hard, gray couch in the waiting room. A doctor, wearing a white jacket in usual doctor's apparel.
"So?" The young Cesar said, hoping for the best.
"There were some complications," The young doctor started, Cesar tensed. "He drank quite a bit of the Tide with Bleach..." The doctor read from his clipboard. "And the amount of sleeping pills, undigested, found in his stomach equaled about three bottles..."
"Doc." Cesar said.
"And so we pumped his stomach, but the damage was..."
"Doc." Cesar interrupted again.
"Yes, young man?"
"Just tell me. Is...is he dead?" Cesar choked out.
The doctor's eyes fell. Eyes that were usually laughing, smiling, were now dull, unresponsive.
"Yes." He whispered.
--
"How...how could you?" Cesar wiped the tears off his cheeks in pure futile. Cesar tied the robe around his waist and stared at the unblinking reflection in the mirror. The eyes, laughing eyes, the hair, white hair...
'So much.' Cesar thought
'So much what?' He thought back.
'Pain.'
Pain...
Agony.
Release.
Cesar reached for the knife to start making the incision.
JC chose at that moment to come barging in.
"Cesar!" JC yelled! Running for his friend and engulfing him in a hug. Cesar stood, dropped the knife and in a daze, looked at JC.
"Joshua?" Cesar blinked up in confusion.
"Oh, Rome." Josh said as he hugged his friend closer, stroking his back. "Gods, Rome. Didn't you hear me calling?"
Cesar shook his head against JC's chest. "No. I was...too caught up in my thoughts."
Josh pushed Cesar on the toilet and sat him down. Wordlessly, he turned off the shower and walked Cesar to the bedroom. "C'mon, Romey. Let's get you in bed."
Cesar shook his head and hugged Josh. "How...could I have failed her? Like ... like I failed him?"
"You didn't fail anyone." JC said softly, stroking Cesar's back as they sat on the bed. "You didn't."
"But...she was killing herself. So was Tommy, and I didn't catch any of them."
"You caught her before she did anything." Josh hugged Cesar closer. "You never failed, Cesar. There was nothing to fail at."
"I was a role model..."
"You were a friend. You did everything a friend should and more. It's not your fault."
"But, Chrissy..." Cesar sniffled.
"Shh." Josh hugged Cesar. "It'll be okay."
After a few moments of rocking, Cesar sniffled lightly and wiped his eyes.
"You okay?" Josh asked Cesar one more time.
"I'm fine, I'm sorry, I was just..." Cesar shook his head. "Dazed." Cesar sighed and looked at JC. "How are you handling it?"
"Better than most, but not too great. You and Reese, I expect, are going to have the hardest time with it all."
Cesar nodded, he didn't say anything.
"You didn't fail, Cesar." JC assured him. "You never failed. You were a friend, remember that? You...went above and beyond. It's nott your fault, it was probably stress or something. Don't...don't worry. Everything's gonna turn out all right in the end."
"I hope so." Cesar said softly. "I really do."
"You need a rock, Cesar." JC said, nodding. "I mean, Christina has you, Reese, and Britney. Reese has Ryan, Britney has Justin. You...have Brian. But there are some things you just can't talk about with lovers, you know? There are some things..." Josh's eyes started to tear up. "Some things you can't even talk about with..." Josh started to cry openly. "yourself."
Josh's crying soon turned into sobbing and it was Cesar's turn to be the rock, to help everyone. "Shh," Cesar said softly as JC started mumbling words over and over again. "Shh, it's okay, it'll be alright."
Josh sat up, looked deep in Cesar's eyes and said, "Will Chris ever forgive me?"
Cesar hugged Josh. "There's only one way to find out. Only one way." Josh and Cesar nodded, wiped their eyes, and went downstairs.
--
Everyone sat in the living room, save Cesar, Christina, Ryan, and Justin.
"What do you suppose was wrong with Christina?" Lance asked as Joey hugged him.
"I don't know but it must be bad for Christina to be clinging to him like that," Chris analyzed.
"Does anyone know?" Britney sniffled, holding onto Reese.
"I know," JC whispered. All of them stared at him. He had kept it from them!
"What is it?" Joey demanded.
"Chrissy is on heroine," he said softly.
--
Ryan watched Justin as he played basketball with Richard Phillippe. He smiled, as he sipped his lemonade.
"Are you two going to stay for Thanksgiving?" Susan Phillippe inquired.
"I don't know," Ryan replied, smiling at seeing the twinkle back in Justin's eyes. "Juj..Justin expressed some interest in going back to New York. Cesar called earlier and said there was an emergency with the girls." Susan nodded in understanding as Ryan's cell phone rang.
"Hello?"
"Matthew?" Reese only called him that when it was a real emergency.
"Laura?" he returned the sentiment.
"We need you guys. I need you and Britney needs Justin."
"What's going on?"
"Christina," she let out a sob. "She's - she's been doing heroine." Ryan dropped the phone. Justin looked up and saw Ryan's face. He jogged over.
"Angel? What's wrong? Baby?" Ryan was unable to repeat what he had just heard. Justin picked up the phone. "Hello?"
"Justin?"
"Reese? What's going on? Why does Ryan look like he just saw a ghost?" There was a sniffle.
"Here's Britney."
"Hey Justy."
"Britty, what's going on?"
"Ryan didn't tell you?"
"No," Justin glanced worriedly at his lover who was still standing still. His eyelashes barely moved.
"Chrissy has been doing," she sniffed. "heroine." Justin felt his lip quiver.
"W-why?"
"I don't know," Britney sobbed openly. "I don't know Justin. Please come home." He nodded wildly.
"We'll be on the next plane, I promise," he choked back his own sobs.
"Thank you. I love you, Justin."
"I love you, too, Britney." Justin closed the phone and dropped it into Ryan's pocket. "Come on, Angel," he shook his shoulder lightly. "We're going home." Ryan simply moved his gaze from the outside to Justin's face. He nodded as if he were a feeble child. They walked up the stairs to pack their bags.
--
"Chriiiiissssyyyyy," 12 year old, Justin Timberlake walked through the backstage hallways of the Mickey Mouse Club set. "I know you're back here!" He and Christina were playing hide and go seek. He heard giggling from one of the rooms. Slowly, he opened it and peeked inside.
"Hey Justin," Britney called as she played Go Fish with Josh and Tony. He waved and closed the door again. She had to be around here somewhere. A smile spread across his lips as he heard the familiar squeal. JC came galloping down the hallway with Christina on his back.
"Hi Justin!" JC called and set Christina down. Justin tagged her.
"You're it," he grinned.
"No fair!" she declared.
"It is so fair! You were gone for half an hour!"
"Was not!"
"Was too!"
"Was not!"
--
Justin and Ryan ran off of the plane to baggage claim and hailed a taxi. They gave the driver the address and waited impatiently for their house to come into view.
"There!" Justin pointed. Ryan paid the driver as Justin ran out and up to the door as it opened. Britney stood with puffy red eyes. He held her tightly as she sobbed. Ryan soon ran up and embraced Reese as she emptied her ducts as well.
"It's okay," Ryan whispered.
"I'm so scared," Reese cried.
"Let's go inside," Justin suggested. They guided the two women into the house and shut the door. None of them noticed the blue eyes watching them from the guest bedroom.
"I can't believe we didn't notice," Britney looked up at Justin through tear-filled eyes.
"None of us noticed."
"We should've," Reese demanded. "We're her lovers! We love her a-and we didn't even notice she was killing herself."
--
Christina shut the guestroom door. She felt the pain in Britney and Reese's voices. She was ashamed of the charade that she had carried on for so long. Constantly trying to slip away to have a few minutes of bliss. Her chest ached as she sat in the rocking chair and wept. Wept for her best friends, wept for her lovers, but most of all for herself. The thought of killing herself made a brief appearance in her mind before she dismissed it. No, she wouldn't do that. She wouldn't lose. She refused to lose.
Her clear eyes wandered around the room. It felt impersonal. It wasn't like the room they had made their own upstairs in the large waterbed with the vanity and shelves filled with books. Contrary to popular belief, the three often indulged themselves with such novels by Anne Bishop and J.R.R. Tolkien. Christina imaged what the bedroom would look like this late in the day. The covers would be tussled on the bed, clothes thrown everywhere after Britney's adventure to try and find clothing that fit her mood, Reese would be soaking in the bathtub to relieve the pain in her feet.
She sighed and pulled her knees to her tiny waist. She wouldn't lose.
--
Joshua took a deep breath and knocked on the door. A moment later, he heard a muffled 'Come in.'
Josh opened the door slightly and stepped through, closing the door ever so slowly and smiled at the form. "Hi." He looked down at his feet.
"Hi." Chris said softly as he looked up from his bed. "How are you?"
"Feel like shit, worried about Cesar and Christina." Josh said softly, avoiding Chris' eyes.
Chris frowned a moment. "Josh, sit down." He moved his legs and sat up, allowing room on the bed for Josh to sit. "Look, this is probably hard as hell on you. It is on me, and...I hope we can be civil to each other with no tension throughout this. They don't need our problems intermixed with their own. We just need to be there for them, okay?"
Joshua nodded, his heart still broken. "All right, Christopher."
Josh stood up, walked to the door, and turned around. "Look, Chris..."
Chris shook his head. "I need more time before I can talk about it, okay?"
Josh nodded and smiled lightly. "You take care, Chris."
Chris smiled, the tears were about to spill. "You too, Josh." He managed to squeak out, but not until after Josh had left.
--
Christina sat in the counseling office. A pair of sunglasses sheilded her from the 'bright' lights.
"So how long have you had this addiction?" the counselor asked, a clipboard on her lap.
"Only 2 months. Everything was just so hard. I needed to have control over something."
The counselor nodded and jotted down a few notes. "How many times a week do you feel the need to inject?"
"Well," Christina thought back. "I've only done it 5 or 6 times. I haven't even gone through a whole bag. I only do it when everything is really out of control."
Again, the counselor made a few notes. "Well, we'd still like you to stay here and go through de-tox. If what you say is correct, it will only take a maximum of two weeks to complete the cleansing."
Christina nodded and got up. "Can someone stay with me?"
The counselor nodded. "One person. We don't usually but we'll treat this as a special case."
"Thank you," Christina left the room and fetched Cesar. "I want you to stay with me."
Cesar nodded his understanding and took hold of Christina's hand. "Everything is going to be okay. I know it," he told her and kissed her cheek.
"I hope you're right," Christina sighed. "God I hope you're right."
--
Britney sat on the bed in the guestroom, a pair of reeading glasses perched on her nose. She hated wearing them but Reese and Christina insisted that she did.
"Sweetie?" Reese waddled into the room. "Wanna go to a movie or something? I'm dying to get out of the house."
"You read my mind." The two put on baggy clothes, sunglasses, hats, and their jackets. "What do you wanna see?" Britney inquired as they left.
"You," Reese said and kissed her cheek. Britney blushed and took Reese's hand into hers. They laced fingers and drove away in one of the many SUV's.
--
Justin was pacing back and forth in the bedroom. His mind was spinning in so many different directions. He had heard nothing from his family, Christina was in the hospital, JC and Chris weren't talking to each other. It was all a mess. He stopped when JC appeared in the doorway.
"Wanna go for a drive?" It was something they often did when things needed to be discussed. It kept either of them from leaving the confines of the car and they were able to talk much more openly.
"Sure." They grabbed their jackets and left.
--
Chris was in the kitchen routing through the refrigerator trying to find something to eat. He wasn't really hungry but he needed to eat something to calm his nerves.
"Hey Chris," Ryan smiled, coming in and taking a coke from the fridge.
"Hey Ry. Dammit, there's nothing to eat." He slammed the door shut and pouted. Ryan looked inside as well.
"We really need to go shopping. This is the last soda."
"Well, let's go. I'm sick of being stuck in this damn house."
Ryan shrugged. "Sure." He had nothing to do. Justin left to reconnect with JC. Besides, he needed to bond with Chris. The two didn't really know each other that well, despite the fact they'd been living together for the last 2 years. Following the example of Britney and Reese, they got into Chris's SUV and drove away.
--
Joey looked up as Ryan and Chris left. Lifting an eyebrow, he got up from the couch and did a perimeter check. Grinning he called, "Ooohhh Jammmmes."
Lance stuck his head out of the bedroom and yawned. His hair was mussed more than usual and he had a cute, sleepy grin on his face. "Yes?"
Joey took his hand and pulled him down to the living room. "Guess what?" he asked, pushing Lance down onto the sofa and kissing him vigorously.
"What?" Lance giggled, pulling of Joey's shirt. Joey followed suit and they were soon roaming their hands over each other.
"We're the only ones home," Joey growled and nipped his ear lightly.
"Are you serious?" Lance exclaimed.
Joey nodded and started taking off Lance's pants. Lance sucked and licked on Joey's neck and tried to unzip his slacks at the same time. Soon, both sets of pants were crumpled on the floor and their boxers were quickly going to follow.
"Make love to me," Lance whispered in Joey's ear. Joey almost melted at the tender breath on his skin. He kissed Lance's pouty lips and down his stomach. He positioned himself at Lance's base and was about to make the penetration when the door flew open.
Phyllis and Joseph Fatone Sr. walked into the house.
"Hey kids!" Joseph called with a laugh. Lance screamed and grabbed the blanket that was draped over the back of the sofa.
Phyllis looked at his son and Lance and back to Joseph. "Oops! It seems we've done it again, dear."
Joseph laughed and hugged his wife. "Nice one."
Joey and Lance frantically tried to find all their discarded clothing without flashing either adult. When they were decent, they invited the couple farther into the house. "Mom! Pop!" Joey chuckled as he blushed. "I guess the 'coming out' talk really won't be necessary, huh?"
"Oh Pish! We've already gone through one this week, why not another," Phyllis joked.
Joey and Lance both looked very confused.
"You're brother, Joey. Seems we barged in on him and Tim the same way," Joseph laughed.
"Steve is..."
"Gay," Phyllis finished. "Seems you are too. Both of you."
Lance shook his head. "I'm gay. Joey has the advantage of both courts."
"Anyone else we should know about?" Joseph questioned.
Joey and Lance exchanged a look before smiling. "You have no idea." And proceeded to tell about the house situation and give the grand tour.
--
Phyllis and Joseph Sr. left after an early dinner and a long talk in front of the fire. Britney and Reese entered not long after. Pink nosed and rosey cheeked.
"Have fun?" Lance chuckled.
"Very much," Britney giggled. "Seems we look a lot like Jennifer Aniston and Taylor Hanson."
Lance burst into a fit of laughter. "Jennifer and Taylor? They'll get a hoot out of that one!"
"Only you, my dear," Joey said, wrapping his arms around Lance's waist. "Would say 'hoot'."
Lance faked a scowl before Joey tossed him onto the couch.
"We'll continue what we started, later."
"Get a room!" Ryan shouted as he and Chris came in with bags of groceries. "Or help us!"
"We'll take the room, thanks. We had a parental visit today. That's more work than I'd like to deal with," Joey said, picking up Lance and carrying him up the stairs.
"If I hear a line from 'Gone with the Wind' from them, I swear, I'll shoot one of'em," Chris grumbled, putting down two bags and going out to get more.
"Grumpy. Grumpy. Grumpy," Reese tsked as she sat down on the couch. Britney sat next to her and began the task of massaging her swollen feet.
"We're home!" Justin announced as he and JC pulled into the driveway. Even in the dead of winter, they refused to roll-up the windows.
"Good! Help us bring in groceries," Ryan said piling bags into his lover's arms.
"Gee. I'm happy to see you too."
"Oh, did I say I was happy to see you? My mistake."
Justin scowled at him.
"I'm joking, Juju. I love you," Ryan kissed him on the forehead. "Now scoot before Reese's ice cream melts," he ordered and smacked Justin on the behind.
Justin rolled his eyes. "Yeah. Ice Cream is going to melt when it's outside in 20 degree weather. Uh huh. I'm sure."
"Shush and take in the food."
Justin sighed dramatically and did as he was told with JC not far behind with bags loading him down, as well. Chris shut the trunk as Ryan took in the last couple of bags.
Another pair of headlights came up the driveway and Brian hopped out. "Hey guys!" He smiled, removing his coat once inside.
Everyone exchanged nervous glances. Had Cesar forgotten to mention that he would be gone until Christina was back? "Hey Bri," Britney called from the couch.
"Is Cesar around?" he questioned.
"Um..no," Ryan told him as he busied himself with putting away the groceries. "Do you have any cravings, Rez?"
"Mmmm I could go for some lemon yogurt and pickles."
" We have pickles but not lemon yogurt," Chris called.
"Where's Cesar?" Brian asked.
"Who wants to go get it, than?" Reese inquired.
"I'll go," JC said. "I'm still in my coat anyway. Anything else I can get you?"
Reese thought for a long minute. "Did you guys get mangos and EZ cheese?"
"Nope."
"Cesar is with Christina in the hospital. She's going through de-tox," Joey informed Brian.
"Get those."
JC chuckled and grabbed his keys. "Will do. I'll be back in about half an hour."
Brian didn't want to ask about Christina. "I hope she gets better." He took a stab in the dark and it seemed to hit right on the money.
"Thanks Bri Bri," Britney smiled at him.
"I guess I'll head back to the hotel than," he began to put his coat back on.
"No way, man!" Ryan protested. "We're not sending you for another 3 hour drive! Stay the night. We'll take you to see Cesar tomorrow."
"Thanks," he smiled a genuine smiled. "I'm beat. I guess I'll head off to bed than. Good night all."
"Good-night," they chorused back as he disappeared.
--
Cesar sat next to Chrissy. His Chrissy. His sister. Not really, but in the heart. He reached for her hand and felt the lifelessness. She was unconcious because of the de-tox and the doctors said there might be complications. "Please," Cesar whispered. "I'll do anything for her to come back. Even..." He sniffled and wiped his tearing eyes. "Even sing."
Cesar looked up at the clock and noted the time, hoping she'd come awake sooner. With a small groan, he rested his head on her shoulder and sniffled. He really missed her.
"Remember, when the days were long and rolled beneath a deep blue sky? Didn't have a care in the world...with mommy and daddy standing by." Hee began to sing louder. "When'happily ever after' fails and we've been poisoned by these fairy tales...the lawyers dwell on small details since daddy had to fly. But I know a place, where we can go.That's still untouched by man. We'll sit and watch the clouds roll by, and the tall grass wave in the wind." Cesar started to choke up, and had to squeeze the rest of the song out. "Now we've come so far, so fast, but, somewhere back there in the dust. That same small town in each of us, I need to remember this."
Cesar stopped singing as the lump in his throat clogged him and he started to gasp and shudder with sobs. Tears streamed down his face and landed on Christina's arm. "Please, Christina, we need you."
A gasp, a smile, and a small word. A squeeze, a grip, and love set right. Christina's hand squeezed around Cesar's, and he smiled happily. "Chrissy!" He gasped, brought his other hand to his mouth and wiped away the tears. "Oh, Chrissy."
--
JC entered with a plastic bag in his hands. "I swear it's getting colder by the second!" he grumbled, and put the bag on the counter. "I got your stuff, Rez!"
"Oh. Thanks Josh."
"One lemon yogurt and pickles coming up."
"Oh. Um..I don't really feel like it anymore. Thank you though."
JC's jaw hit the floor. "But..I..Ah.."
"I could totally go for some cheese and crackers though."
JC sighed and put away the last bag. He took out the EZ cheese and the box of saltines. He made his way to the living room and set them down next to Reese. "Here you go."
"Thanks Josh, you're a peach," she smiled and opened up a package.
"If that's all, I'm heading to bed."
"Good night," Reese and Britney smiled as he left. "Sure was nice of him to go out and get all that stuff," Britney said and laid her head on Reese's lap. Reese just nodded and continued to eat through her craving.
--
"Brian!" Britney shouted in the man's ear. "Wake your lazy ass up!"
Brian grumped and pulled Cesar's blanket over his head.
"If you don't get up in three seconds you're not going to see Cesar!"
That did it. Up in a flash, Brian was dressed and at the door before Britney had even said, 'One.'
"Well?" He said tapping his foot impatiently. "Let's go!"
Britney chuckled. "Go take a shower, stupid."
After Brian was showered and ready, he entered the kitchen with a light grin on his face. "Hi." He said to Josh, who was sitting on the counter.
Josh grunted as he took a sip of his coffee. "Hi."
Brian chuckled, as he had known Josh was never a conversationalist before his morning coffee.
"Hey, Gang. Brian, ready to go?" Britney said as she waltzed through the kitchen in a red miniskirt and a sapphire blue satin top that really showed off her tits. (Yes, Rowan wrote that part. Typical male.)
"You're wearing that!" Brian exclaimed, keeping his voice low, "Britney! We're going to a hospital. Not a fucking dance club."
Britney looked down at her dress and shrugged. "There's nothing wrong with wanting to look your best. C'mon!" She grabbed Brian by the arm and dragged him to the car.
--
"Oh Zhangon, Si, Mirina oum." The four figures chanted around the large stone altar where a blonde female with large breasts and almost no fat was chained.
A large man, dressed in a black cloak held a wickedly curved dagger. His voice was deep, teeth were crooked, face scarred and hands calloused. And as the four figures danced around the altar, he would cackle when he was just above her head.
"Please! Don't!" She begged futilessly. "Don't kill me!" Tears streamed down her face.
"Soon, my Princess," The man said with a seductively deep voice. "You will be with GOD!"
Laughing, the man grasped the dagger with both hands and sought eye contact with the blonde woman. "Soon, Britney, you...shall be a part of an empire, that's bigger than the Earth has ever imagined!" He cackled loudly and brought the dagger swiftly to the woman's chest.
Britney Spear's screams suddenly stopped, clogged by the blood gurgling up her windpipe and into her mouth. Coughing, she spluttered and tried to scream but her strength was waning, and she knew, she was dying.
"It's all over," The man cackled. "God!" He screamed, "I give you, Britney Spears!"
A loud clackle of thunder raced across the souther sky north toward the young woman who was just killed. The sound grew louder and filled the figures with fear as they stumbled back to watch it strike and consume the corpse.
As quickly as it came, it was gone. Leaving behind only a few particles of dust.
"And the children, shall be safe, once again." The man said before letting out a cackle. One that lasted deep, deep into the night.
A loud crackle of thunder raced across the southern sky north toward the young woman who was just killed. The sound grew louder and filled the figures with fear as they stumbled back to watch it strike and consume the corpse.
As quickly as the corpse was consumed, it was returned. An extremely loud boom of thunder shocked the four figures.
"TAKE. HER. BACK!" A voice boomed, and a feeling of dread overwhelmed the four.
The sleek form of Christina Aguilera appeared in front of the terrified men and the unconscious Britney. She wore a leather breastplate with engraved arcane symbols. Her hand was on her sword, which was in a scabbard attached to a leather baldric. She pulled it free, laughing gleefully.
The four men scattered, trying to find weapons to protect themselves.
"Foolish mortals," she laughed as she swung the sword and one of the men toppled to the ground. His head soon followed and rolled a few feet. Britney tried to rise to her feet. Christina speared another through the heart. His scream consumed the night. She threw a ninja star through the back of another, slicing his spinal cord in two.
"Get off me!" Britney screeched from behind her.
Christina turned to see the last man, with his arm around Britney's waist, his other around her neck, holding a knife to her throat.
"One more step and she dies," the man threatened. Britney whimpered and tried to move from his grasp. The only reward she got was his arms tightening and the knife slicing into the first layer of skin. A small stream of blood flowed down Britney's neck and over the top of her breast.
Christina dropped her sword and placed her palms together. Her eyes closed over her blue eyes as she chanted softly. Britney felt the man's grip tighten and then become amazingly loose. She slid from his grasp as he fell to the ground. His hands cupped his ears as he gritted his teeth mercilessly. After a few minutes, his head exploded.
Britney shielded herself from the flying remains. "Gross!"
Christina laughed and scooped Britney into her arms.
"My hero," Britney giggled and wrapped her arms around Christina's neck. They shared a long, passionate kiss.
Reese woke up, considerably confused. 'What an odd dream,' she thought as she got up and pulled on a bathrobe. She looked at the bed and figured Britney had already left to take Brian to see Cesar. Reese would've gone with them but pregnant women weren't admitted into the hospital unless they were patients.
--
"Cesar," Christina shook her friend. "Wake up."
Cesar grumbled against his folded arms. "Watch the silicone fly," he mumbled in his sleep.
Christina shook him harder. "Wake up, knucklehead."
He looked up and wiped the little bit of drool from his mouth. "Is Britney dead?" he asked her.
"Not to my knowledge," Christina responded, quite confused.
Cesar swore just as Britney and Brian came into the room. "Brian!" Cesar pulled him onto his lap and hugged him.
"I missed you," Brian sighed, nuzzling Cesar's neck.
Britney sat down on Christina's bed. She laced her fingers with Christina's. "I missed you," Britney whispered and kissed Christina lightly.
"I'm sorry," Christina whispered back.
"Oh Sweetie." Britney pulled herself next to Christina and wrapped her arms around her frame. "There's nothing to be sorry about. We'll get through this. All of us."
Christina nodded and looked up into Britney's eyes. "I love you."
"I love you too, sweets." *******
*Thanks guys for reading! We really appreciate it, hope you like it. We know we enjoyed writing it.
It took so long to get out because it was a complex chapter...and we kind of lost the whole thing twice. Once on Mirage's compy and once on my own. So, email away! Yougottaloveus@loveable.com heh heh
Mirage and Rowan