High school is hell, this is what most teenagers would say if you were to ask them to describe the four years they spend in the halls of their school. That statement is never truer then for me. Not only do I have to put up with the normal drama of teenage life but as an added bonus I am gay.
Now I know what you are picturing, right ear pierced, hand cocked in that owe so flamboyant manner, and cock always on my mind and constantly in my mouth. Well not so much, I am just like every boy else, except that the locker room is my idea of heaven.
So now to my story, I suppose it is like any other story of young love, the only difference is this one is mine. And in that is something inherently special, for I am a man who loved another man. And to me it means everything in the world.
"Jacob you are going to be late", is the announcement that woke me up on this particular morning, a warning from my mom that I have over slept. Again.
"Morning is an invention of the devil", I think as I role out of bed. I make my way to the bathroom and do the normal routine. Shave, brush, shower, then deodorize, I have had this routine two years, and I could do it in my sleep. Sometimes I think I have.
I check myself out in the mirror when I am done, and as normal I seem to find every flaw about myself and sum them all up at once. I am not saying that I am ugly; at 6'1 and 165lb no one could call me fat. With my dark brown, almost black hair, I do nothing, allowing it to sit as it may. No matter how messy it seems. I am as white as white can get, and after a year of braces my teeth are straight and white. Now my gaze drifts lower, I am pleased to see that I am not the smallest I have ever seen. (Not that I have seen many), at about 6-1/2 inches I am pleased the size and shape. Just behind that dangle my nearly hairless balls, hairless, a word that could be used to describe my entire body.
"Jacob hall ass", comes the call from my older brother Alex. Alex is a senior this year, and I am the lowly sophomore that has become the butt of every joke he seems to know.
"I will be down in a minute", I yell back. With one more glance in the mirror I throw on the clothes that I had neatly laid out the night before and run down stairs.
"About damn time, did you have to do your nails this morning?", says Alex's with a giggle as he forces me out the door, and into his car.
As we drive along Alex seems to be lost and thought and says nothing to me. Usually the morning rides are filled with jokes and snide remarks coming from both sides and ending with me getting hit. Suddenly he looks over at me very seriously and says "If they give you crap this year, let me know. It won't be like last year".
Last year I had the bright idea to come out to, well everyone. With some it was met with a warm confusion, and with others open hatred. The nature of man, hatred of the unknown, or an acceptance of what they don't understand. All people seem to sit on one side or the other.
"Sure, thanks Alex, I am sure it will be better this year", that was all I could say. I hope it will be better. God I hope.
As we pull up to the front of the school, the sign makes me laugh on the inside. "Welcome to Trojan High, That Safest Little School in the World". God I hate this place.
I step out of the car and head inside without my brother, and I am immediately met with gazes on both sides of the hall. (you would think I was wearing a neon sign that flashed FAG!!!) When suddenly out of the sea of eyes comes a familiar voice. "Jacob there you are", the voice belonged to Kenneth my best friend, and one of very few guys that continued to talk to me after coming out.
Kenneth was a short little guy, standing at only 5'4, but he was built like an ox. He was on the football team and looked like he could take a hit. But beyond that muscular frame was a heart of gold. He stood beside me no matter what, and because of that he was my brother. My pale white boy brother.
"Yes here I am yet again, if I could run away I would, trust me", I said and followed Kenneth down the hall.
My school consisted of a single hallway with classrooms on either side, and only the cafeteria and the gym were separate from this one hallway.
As we walked and swapped schedules, someone caught my eye. He is beautiful, that is all I could think the first time I saw him. The new kid, with all the mystery that goes along with that. Short, spiked, blonde hair sat atop the most beautiful face I had every seen. Beautiful blues eyes with long curly eye lashes were one the first things that caught my eye. Then beautiful full lips, and white teeth, and a complexion without a blemish. He must have been as tall as me and just as thin. He was beautiful, and I was so taken by the sight of him, I slammed faced first into a newly opened door.
As my eyes opened very slowly and I adjusted to the light, I saw a sea of faces staring down at me. "I am taller then most people in this school, how are they looking down", that was the thought that ran through my head moments before I realized that I was on the floor and my head hurt; a lot.
"Dude are you alright", was the first thing I heard, it was a tenor voice, one I had not heard before.
"I am fine Kenny; really", I said guessing that the voice must belong to my friend Kenny; I mean what other guy would talk to me.
"Actually my name is Evan, but you did catch a door with your face, so call me what you will", said that musical voice.
As my eyes adjusted more I realized that the person talking to me, and indeed standing very close, was the man of my dreams. And he had a name, Evan. "Door-hurt- bad", was all I could stammer at this point.
"Hey that's alright, lets get you off the floor though", he must have sang that sentence his voice was so lovely. And with that he lifted me off that floor onto my feet.
"Thanks, the name is Jacob by the way", I said quickly trying to regain some dignity.
"Aww you remember your name, good sign," he said with a smirk. "Your friend went to get the nurse; they should be here any minute".
I then realized that he had not yet let go of my arm, maybe he is... no, no one that gorgeous could be gay. I am not that lucky. I am door in the face lucky, not prince charming lucky. He must have noticed the continued contact because he let go suddenly and turned a light shade of red.
"Oh he gets cuter", I thought to myself moments before the nurse came and put an end to the conversation. And my first day of sophomore year.