Disclaimer: This is a story about gay people...if you can't read it or don't like gay people, leave. Go...bye. But if you like it, read it and write to me.
Chapter 25: When All We Know Is Falling
"I just...I need more time." I said softly, " Besides, the date's not gonna be soon anyways. We agreed to keep it after we graduate."
"Until after I graduate!" Archie said angrily, " Not until we're sixty."
"So, why do you, all of a sudden, need to get married?" I asked.
"God, why are you acting like a child." he said, offending me, " I mean, I know I'm older than you, but do you have to show it?"
"Whats?" I said, shocked, " I'm acting childish? You came from nowhere with this."
"Nowhere?! We've argued about this same thing and I don't get why you're stalling!" Archie said, staring at me, " Either you love me and want to marry me or you don't."
"So that's it? I either marry you or I don't love you?" I shook my head, " You're an asshole, you know that?"
"All I know is that I love you and I want to be with you forever." Archie groaned.
"With everything going on, you're really going to do this? Are we, like, breaking up?" I asked.
"No." Archie said, putting his hands around my waist, " I just want us to move forward, not backwards."
"I'm trying, I really am, but you're rushing us. Can't we just be in love?" I asked.
"I just...I'm leaving and I want you to come back." he said.
"I can't. I'm not enrolled there anymore and I need to be here right now." I said quickly, kissing him quickly, " But you're a plane ride away."
"Is there anything you want to tell me?" Archie asked.
"Like..." I asked.
"Like that you still have feelings for a certain jock." Archie said, averting his eyes.
I looked at him. I felt as if I'd been asked the question of my life and it scared me. I mulled over the answer...did I still have feelings? Should I lie? Should I tell the truth? I already knew the answer, " I do." I heard him groan, " And I always will. That's not the point. The question is do I love you? Yes. That's the only question you should want the answer to." I said, causing him to smile.
"You're right." he said, " I just really don't want to lose you. Since I've been here, I noticed something."
"What is that?" I asked.
"You're different." he said, " Or, you were different before you got here, weren't you?"
"Yeah." I smiled slowly, " I was always in the spotlight here. I didn't wanna be, but I was. In the spotlight, you miss things. I was super self-involved and I was quiet. Then I got outed and things changed. I changed. I swear I thought it broke me. Then I learned how to be strong."
"I think that's the first thing like that you've told me." Archie said, smiling. Then he looked at me seriously, " I'm insecure."
"See, I'm not." I smiled, " And you shouldn't be either."
"I love you." he smiled.
"I love you too." I said, kissing him.
Archie slid on his jacket and picked up his bags, " So, here I go." he said, leaning down to kiss me, " Have fun at school."
"Yeah, right." I smirked.
Just then, the door opened, " You ready, bro-in-law?" Eric asked.
"Yup." Archie smiled, " See you later, babe."
"Later." I smiled.
Adaen typing: I watched as he left the room. It wasn't a really nice way to end our time, arguing about his insecurity. Naturally, I had been on edge. The anniversary of the shooting was coming up and the hearing for Harmon Prise, Mr. Johansseen's ex-lover, who had shot the school up. I hated the memories. The truth is, since I had left I had forgotten about it. I had forgotten about the shooting and about the car wreck. Leaving Hargrove had helped me forget about it all without moving on. It's funny how just being in this town again can bring back feelings and emotions that I hadn't felt in so long. It made me wonder...What made him a bad man? The fact that he thought about doing what he did, or the fact that he did it? Was it the thought or was it the actions the defined our place on the good/bad scale?
I found myself wandering around campus again. It was like riding a bike. A very big bike that had almost killed me. The campus was smaller than I remembered. I smiled to myself and walked on, seeing Kendall and Ballard standing a few feet away. I snickered at the thought of Ballard being back here again. He wore his sunglasses, which made him only a tiny big sexier. He didn't really need much to be sexy anyways. And Kendall wore a crop top with a jean jacket and jeans with her favorite pair of Uggs. I chuckled as I got closer.
"Springtime in Hargrove..." Kendall said, hugging me, " It's not even that cold here...I miss New York."
"Well, I'm going back, so ha." Ballard joked, then turned to me, " So, how's being back here?"
"Did you really have to ask?" I groaned, " Can't you smell it?"
"What?" Kendall asked.
"The sound of the fun factor going down." I frowned.
Ballard chuckled, " No, but I can definitely see everybody staring." he said, looking around.
I looked too, " Did you expect anything else?" I asked.
"Honestly, no." Kendall said.
The First bell rang.
"That's your call." Ballard chuckled.
We both looked at him angrily.
"Ok, time for me to go." he smirked, getting into the limo, " Bye, kids."
As the limosuine pulled away, we made our way inside the school. I was left pondering how this could possibly go right. I mean, something bad was already in motion, I could feel it. That's all I needed, anoter problem. A few more problems and I was definitely going to emo, not that that was a bad thing, but I don't think I'd feel comfortable wearing black clothes all the time.
Hannah and Zack stood at her locker, trying to find her Government book. Her locker was littered with messy papers and empty candy bar wrappers. Zack frowned at the candy bar wrappers. There had to be at least ten and her books were out of place. For as long as Zack had known Hannah, she had been so organized. He wondered about it, but shrugged it off as he saw Kendall Kipton and Adaen Lawerance walk into the school. Heads immediately turned and the whispering began.
Zack tapped Hannah on the back, " Look." he said, pointing to them, " I didn't know they were staying."
Hannah looked over her shoulder and almost dropped her book, " He's here?! I haven't seen him since..." she paused.
"The funeral that almost turned into a Pay-Per-View event." Zack added.
Hannah punched him softly, " It was pretty bad, but it wasn't a good day for anyone." she said, " I can't believe he's still here."
"Go and talk to him." Zack said.
"I can't. He's with Kendall and I don't want to..." she looked at him, " Okay, I'm a big 'fraidy chicken. There's just....stuff I've waited to say to him and I can't say it now. I've done really bad things to him."
"Me too." Zack said chipperly, " Not that I'm happy about it, but he's....ummm...a good guy? He'll forgive you."
"Maybe." she said, pushing the book back into her locker.
"Well, you could at least write him a note." Zack said, " Besides, where is Christina?"
"I don't know." Hannah sighed, " Since Julie died, we haven't really been on the same wavelength."
"I'm sure she just needs time." Zack said softly, putting his arm around her, " Come on, can't have you missing class. You're the smart one."
"That's a proven fact." Hannah smiled.
"So, are we going to Bryis?" he asked.
"I'd say so." Hannah said, " I might have some homework, but I'm cool to go."
"Good." he kissed her forehead and headed off.
I walked from the school like a zombie, Kendall at my side. My backpack was so heavy that I leaned to one side and hunched forward. Kendall snickered at my position and said that I looked really old. I thanked her politely by shoving her into a locker. As we got to the parking lot, Kendall stopped. I stopped too, then looked ahead to my car to see Davis standing by it. Davis looked great. He had always been muscular because of his athleticism, but he was bigger, but still not Ahr-nold...thank god. His hair was cut into a messy cut, but still clean-shaven. Basketball had done him good.
"Hi." he smiled.
"Hi." I smiled back.
Kendall looked between us, " I should wait in the car." she said as I tossed her the keys.
Davis waited until she was in the car to say anything, " So, how is school?" he asked.
"Wasn't that long since you were here." I chuckled.
Davis chuckled too, " I know, just making small talk." he said.
"We make small talk now?" I said, " Something strangers do."
"And strangers, we're not." Davis said, walking closer, " So, are you going to Bryis?"
"Who now?" I asked, puzzled.
"It's the new club." Davis said, " Just opened up not long ago."
"Who runs this club?" I asked.
"Your brother." Davis said, as if I should already know.
"Eric owns a club? Why wouldn't he tell me about it?" I asked.
"I don't know, but should I expect to see you there?" Davis asked.
"As a friend." I said quickly.
"Of course." he smiled, " I just want to have a nice talk before I leave."
"Leave?" I asked.
"To go back to college." Davis smiled, " Well, I've gotta go. I'm packing and mom's really going to keep annoying me about it."
"See ya." I said, getting into my car. Kendall stared at me, " What?" I asked.
"Nothing." She smiled, looking forward.
When I got home, Eric had already left the house. Mom and Dad said that he was used to working long hours and that it was best to make the club all that it can be. I asked my parents where Hope was and they said she was locked in the guest room, angry at the world because she had to give up the room. Tough cookie. I moved on to my room where I left my cell on the charger. I looked on the I.D. and saw that Kendall had called a few times, as did Archie, but I decided that tonight would be a chilled evening and I knew if I called either back, I'd be asking for trouble, so I didn't. I moved to my closet and began picking out clothes. I picked out some jeans with a brown shirt and a brown and white striped outer buttoned shirt. I looked myself over in the mirror and moved onto shoes, where I found my favorite pair of Sketchers. I loved Sketchers! I had gotten a lot of guff over wearing Sketchers, but who cares what other people say, I'm the one walking around in them. As I left, I caught a glimpse of Hope's door closing and chuckled to myself as I descended the stairs, knowing that my room was locked. I walked past the kitchen where Mom was cooking and Kya was eating...for the fifth time since I'd seen her last. I told them bye and left for the club. I walked directly into the club and up to the bar, where Eric was.
"Hey, little brother." he smiled.
"Don't hey me, you've got some explaining." I said quickly.
"I know what you didn't say, but..." Eric paused, fixing someone a drink, " You didn't ask."
"True." I said, sitting on the nearest stool, " So, how is it? Is it everything you hoped it'd be?"
"It's hard, but fun." he said, handing the drink to the customer. The customer was a lady, way too old for me, even though I was eighteen, and she winked at me. I cringed and Eric laughed, " Did I mention this is fun."
"Yes." I answered, " Lively party tonight."
"Yup." Eric smirked, " Wish I would have told you when Archie was here, then you two could have slow danced or something."
"Where'd that come from?" I asked.
"Trying to gauge and see if you two are still together. I mean, there was heavy duty arguing." Eric said, leaning in.
"Sorry you had to hear that." I said, " We have 'creative' differences."
"Creative differences?" Eric asked.
"He wants to get married as soon as possible, but I'm not ready." I said, " That and the fact..."
"That you still have feelings for a certain jock?" Eric asked. I looked at him oddly, " Thin walls. Look, You're my lil' brother, and I love you no matter what."
"You're not going to give me input?" I asked.
"Nope. Not touchin this one." Eric said, " That's what your friends are for."
"Yeah, I'm running a little low on them." I chuckled.
"Well, you could always live at home with the rest of us losers." Eric said.
"You're not a loser. You own a bar!" I said chipperly.
"Only cause I didn't cut it in Paris. Or China. Or..."
"Okay, I get it and you didn't fail. You didn't even give it time." I said.
Eric sighed, " I painted and wrote there for a year and a half." he said.
I sighed and slapped my hand to my head, " You're so impatient." I said, standing, " I'm off to find a friend. Do the same."
"Will do." Eric smiled as I walked away.
I walked over to the center of the club and saw that Kendall sat with Brad, who seemed to be angry for some reason. She'd probably told him about her boytoy in New York. Great, I never really liked him anyways. She saw me and waved. I waved back and pointed to another part of the club and she nodded, then turned to talk to Bradley again. I walked around, admiring my brother's taste. This place was actually cool. I was admiring the wall so much that I walked right into somebody.
"Oh god, I'm...Davis." I smiled.
"I'm Davis. You Adaen." he said sarcastically.
"Smart-ass." I chuckled, " What're you doing here? You should have been on the road by now."
"I told you, I'm leaving later." he smirked, " Let's find a seat."
"Seat found." I said, moving to the first seat I saw.
We both took a seat, " SO, how's everything?" he asked.
"Life or everything else?" I asked.
"In general...so, umm, yeah." he said, confused.
I chuckled, " Everything's great. All things considered." I said, remembering why I had come back.
"Yeah." he said awkwardly, " I mean, we haven't really stayed in contact since New York."
"Yeah. New York was a helluva thing." I chuckled, " Eye opening."
"I'm sorry. For anything I said and did that hurt you. Last year was just so...wild." Davis said suddenly.
"I know and me too." I smiled.
"I didn't really think I'd be caring for somebody so much. I thought I'd be rocking the court and being a superstar." Davis confessed.
"Well, I'm not exactly where I thought I'd be either." I shrugged, " Engaged and really really...lost."
"Lost?" he asked.
"Lost. As in not found." I frowned, " I mean, I'm a mystery...to everybody, including me. I leave and come back with what? Everybody keeps saying that I've changed, but I really don't get it."
"I get you." Davis said softly, " No mystery. You're a hot, sensitive guy with a really broken heart. After everything, I'm surprised that you walk and talk." I sighed, " But I'm glad that you do." he smiled.
"What are we doing?" I asked.
"I don't know." he said, leaning in.
I leaned too, but stopped backed off, "I can't do this. I love him." I said, standing.
"But you're in love with me." Davis said impatiently, " I can feel it. You know it."
"Ummm, let's stay in touch, kay?" I said, walking away.
Christina sat in the cold, quiet visitor's room. There were no other visitors around, just her. She had been so disillusioned by everything since Julie had died. She felt guilty. She was guilty. She sighed and slid her face into her hands and wondered what the hell she was doing here. The questions swarmed her like a hive full of bees. Lately, she had been on so many pills, then she'd stopped. Cold turkey. Soberiety was...not the most calming experience, but it did allow her to see herself more clearly. She wasn't happy with what she saw. Neither was her parents. But that was a different story.
"Hello." A cold, distant voice said, causing her to look up. It was Harmon Prise. Christina had come to see him, believing it was the only way to sort out some of her feelings. Harmon wore a smile that was an obvious fake and his cold disposition scared her just a little bit. As he sat down, he took the time to give her a lookover. His bushy, gaunt face searched her, looking for somebody he knew, " Do I know you?"
"My name is Christina Cameron." she replied, sucking air into her system, " You shot up my school."
"Oh." he nodded, " So, what? You want to tell me how I ruined your life? Killed another life? Doesn't really matter much now."
"No." she said simply.
"Then what?" he asked.
"You killed two people that I knew..." she started.
"Here it comes." he sighed, rolling his eyes.
Christina ignored him, " ...How did it make you feel? Did you...Do you feel guilty?" she asked.
Harmon raised his eyebrow, intrigued by her question. No one had ever asked a question quite like that, " Why would you ask that?" he asked, folding his arms.
"I just wanted to know." Christina replied, " Do you?"
"I do." he said, " I regret not killing Ted. The Sonuva Bitch used me, then left me."
"So, you killed my friends?" Christina asked.
"It wasn't about your friends, it was never about them." he said, " It's about a fairytale gone wrong. Not everybody lives happily ever after, kid."
"You think you can tell me about that? My boyfriend is sleeping with another guy...nobody knows but I put together the crumbs." Christina said, tears bursting from her eyes.
"I'm sorry about your friend, the one that overdosed." he said, " They let us read the paper."
Christina avoided his eye contact, " Thanks." she said.
Harmon wasn't fooled, he knew what her avoidance meant. He knew what this was and suddenly it all clicked inside his head, " Did you kill her?" he asked, " All this guilt talk and trying to get my mind..."
"I...It wasn't my fault!" Christina cried.
"Time's up!" the guard said, pulling Harmon up.
"You're no better than I am!" he laughed maniacally, causing his laughter to echo through the tiny room.
Christina stood and walked to the door. She stopped. It wasn't her fault. Julie had...it was an accident.
Adaen typing: My take on it is that everyone thinks bad things, but what seperates us on a good and bad scale is the actions. Thoughts aren't meaningless, but thoughts are just thoughts. Actions change things on a more massive level. I'm not going to lie, I've had some pretty bad thoughts, but...they didn't make me a bad person. Harmon is a bad man because he took lives. Innocent ones. And no matter what anyone says, Darrieus' death led to Julie's. Everything bad started with Harmon Prise. It's scary to think that, like I've said before, one man can change the lives of so many people. It was times like this I wish I had a Watcher...or something to guide me. There was another life he took though. No one ever talks about Caleb's death, though. It made me feel like crap. He wasn't a bad person. He was popular, but then again so was I. And so was Julie and so was Darrieus. Lesson of the day, popularity... morality... it's all just words. Descriptions. Actions were real, raw, and meaningful. The real core of your life is your choices. Actions determine us. Choices define us. It's the choices that make us and when all you know falls, you have to learn to hold on to whatever you can.
Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed. Please give me some feedback because that's how I get started.