Sequel to: Are you gonna be there Title: You and Me Author: Elisheva Rating: G-PG Pairing: Justin/JC Disclaimer: Much to my dismay, I still don't know them. This is c/o my wonderful imagination. This boy boy love so if ur not into that u don't hafta read it. Thanks!
Thank you to : SanFranNSYNCfan for this tid bit. the lyrics for the chorus in the previous part of this story were wrong. i DID NOT type them up myself, they were sent to me, they were wrong, sorry for this, these are the correct words:
Are you gonna be there when the rain comes? Are you gonna be there with a warm touch? Can you swear you'll be there with a real love? Are you gonna be there?
on to the story:
You and Me
You know I love you baby
You know I love you boy
I love to watch him sleep. I've been watching him sleep for years. Moving pieces of his hair away from his face so I can see his face clearly. But after I realize that his curls border his face, I take a step back and just watch him. Up and down. Up and down. His breathing is so rhythmic.
I look at him, now, with the knowledge that I no longer have to look at him with wonder, and with wanting. Well, still with wanting, but now, he's so close that I can reach out and touch him. Literally.
I sent everyone home. I said Justin fell asleep but he wasn't feeling well so I was gonna stay with him. Lance's head shot up and smiled. He ushered everyone out and told me to take care of Justin. When wouldn't I? When have I not? But he said it as if he knew. Did he? Did it matter? I was there to take care of Justin. That was my job, and I will forever. I promised him.
Now that we've traveled through mountains
Now that we've swam through the sea
I'm sure we can go just a little bit further
As long as there's still you and me
Now I look at him, and I sense he's cold. He shivers from his sleep. I grab another blanket that is close by. I drape it across his body, wanting nothing more than to crawl in bed next to him. But I don't want to rush things. We love each other. I know he loves me. He knows, at least I hope he knows I love him. But still. The last thing I'd wanna do is rush him into anything he wasn't ready for.
Justin is my heart and soul. And I realize that if this was it. If I was destined to watch him sleep for rest of our lives, it would be enough. Because even being able to watch him and the curves in his face as he sighs in his sleep, is heaven. But, at the same time, I, I wonder what this all means.
He means the world to me. God, help me, all I wanna do is shelter him from harm, and hold him through the night. But where does that leave Josh and Justin, best friends forever? Will that change us? Will it still be as comforting when he lets me run my fingers through his hair when I am upset? Or will everything turn into Josh and Justin, super couple. I don't want things to change. But at the same time, I wanna be able to kiss his red lips when I look at him with the devotion that flows through me. But at the same time, I still want him to shyly walk over to me when I am playing the piano, put his head on my shoulder, and close his eyes as I play for him. I'm not good with change.
Up ahead I can see a few showers
Maybe we'll weather a storm
It's my turn to watch as you sleep by the meadow
I'll keep us both safe from all harm
Half of me keeps looking at him and I keep seeing that small boy I met and grew to love from the days of MMC. We hold those days as close as we hold each other sometimes. Those were the days. So innocent we were. No one cared about fame or fortune. Or who we dated, or who we didn't date. Life was good.
Life is good. But in some ways, Justin is still that small boy. And I'm still a good number of years older then him. But I cry like a child when I think of a life when I don't get to hold him. So I suppose in our own ways, we are still the children we were.
But it's his fragility that scares me. I look at him, and I wanna touch him, and wake him up just so I can take him and do things to him that he's only dreamed of. I wanna make him mine. Then hold him as we whisper sweet nothings in each other's ears.
He's been waiting for me his whole life. But I, I've been with other people. Other men. Another man. But my heart has always been with Justin. I just don't want to hurt him. I wanna try new things, touch him in new places. Have him touch me. But still, there is something missing in all of those fantasies, and I don't know what it is.
Just as long as I know that you're here with me
We can crumble the mountains divide the sea
If we try then we can, if we stick to the plan
Of L-O-V-E as long as there's still you and me
I shake my head to rid it of thoughts of a time I may never get to. It's so hard to look at him. His tears have dried onto to his face and his face is still. But he smiles so slightly from his sleep. It's so frustrating. Us. I mean we've always been an us, but now, it's gonna be US. The royal we. It's too much to face. Can't we just, I don't know, know we love each other, realize that, and then go back to normal? I hate change
You and me, you know I love you baby,
You know I love you boy
I can't watch him anymore. It's too hard to watch him and come to terms with what this means. I should go and write a song. Or play for hours into the night. But I can't, my feet won't move. I am stuck watching him sleep. I sink to my knees and kneel next to him. My hand on his cheek, my hand on his shoulder. I touch him now. And suddenly, the skin I feel, it's cool but red hot. It's mine. His body is mine. His heart is mine.
Why do I constantly contradict myself? I want him. I don't want things to change. I want to touch him. I don't want to break him. I can't have him until I know what I want. I can't even look at him. If I look at him, I'll break down and forget that I have all of these issues that are invading my mind.
I cry. The tears flow out of my eyes and onto his hands, which are still in mine. But I don't wipe them away. He needs to feel my pain to understand me. But he does, and he has. And all of this because I don't wake him to talk things out.
What I need. What I want. I can't take right now. My tears continue, because they know that they only stop when I run my fingers soothingly through Justin's hair. But if I do that, will I be lover Josh, or best friend Josh? Too many confusions.
Now that we've traveled through mountains
Now that we've swam through the sea
I'm sure we can go just a little bit further
As long as there's still you and me
All of those songs that I write, and all of the melodies that float around my head, are for him. Even the sad love songs. My heart sings for Justin, I can't help it, it just does.
I keep thinking about the first time that I met him. I mean, I knew his name and all that from watching him audition, but people don't know how shy this kid was. He didn't talk when he wasn't spoken to; he just sang and danced when he was told. Sorta like a puppy. But I knew inside was an amazing person, and I was determined to find him out.
I guess it was a month into the show and I saw that he was always either by himself for lunch, or with some of the girls. I walked over to their table and sat down. I certainly never meant for people to perceive me as the older scary kid, but apparently, they did. The girls rushed off and I was left alone with Justin. He looked at me then went back to his food.
" Hi, I'm JC."
" Justin. What does JC stand for?"
" Joshua Chasez."
" So you're Joshua Chasez Chasez?
" Um, yeah I never thought about it that way."
" Yeah."
" Can I call you Josh?"
" I guess."
He was the only one to call me Josh after that. It was our thing I guess. I mean besides from family, no one called me Josh, expect Justin. And I don't really know why, at the time, I let him, but I did.
Side by side, hand in hand we'll keep moving
Temptation might call out my name
You'll be the first one to say go ahead and answer
And I'll be the first one to say
I was my own person. I was never one to allow anyone to latch onto me like Justin did. But he was alone, in so many more ways than he let on. And I was alone, in ways I didn't even know of. But when we were with each other, the loneliness faded, and fell away.
We spent as much time together as we could. When the show was cancelled, something happened with us, that I can't really describe. I guess it's when the title of best friends was placed upon us. We sat backstage waiting for our parents. He was crying. I was crying. He placed his head on lap and his tears poured over and onto my jeans. I looked at him, curled up against body, and I felt the need to put my arms around him and rock him until his tears stopped.
I needed to protect him, to hold him, to love him. At 17, you still don't really know what love is, so you certainly don't know what it is at 13, but we had a connection, a bond that far exceeded the name of love. And I guess it wasn't until NSYNC that I realized what that was.
Just as long as I know that you're here with me
We can crumble the mountains divide the sea
If we try then we can, if we stick to the plan
Of L-O-V-E as long as there's still you and me
It was US. We were meant to be together. God had planned our lives so we would find each other, lose each other, and find each other again just so our love would grow even stronger. My god, why did it take me so long to figure it out.
You and me, you know I love you baby,
You know I love you boy
Whatever happens, happens. It was meant to be. I know that now. We're meant to be together. In any way possible. In every way possible. My tears stop. I don't need to cry anymore. I have him, in my heart, in my soul, in my hands. I can wait until he wakes up because when he does I know he'll call out for me and I'll come running, from wherever I am. I'll always come running. And he'll always call for me, or run to me when I call for him. We're meant for each other
I know, all these thoughts, all jumbled up, sound childish and stupid, and probably make no sense if I were to write them down, but my heart is making sense of it, and that's what counts, right? So, maybe I should write all this down.
I am careful to take his hand out of mine, and close the door without waking him.
The only thing that pops into my head is a song I used to know. I rush to the piano and figure out the chords quickly. And it's perfect. I never realized how perfect this song was to describe our relationship. It's not one of ours, but that's okay. I didn't write it, but I know who sings it, and I know that they would be so honored that I am using their song to describe my love for Justin.
Now that we've traveled through mountains
Now that we've swam through the sea
I'm sure we can go just a little bit further
As long as there's still you and me
I play, and I'm not even paying attention to the sights and sounds surrounding me. I can't even concentrate on the millions of thoughts floating around my head. I keep back tracking to what I was thinking about two minutes ago, and add things and subtract things, and things get so jumbled up I don't even notice that I've stopped singing.
" Why did you stop?"
I swear my heart just jumped a mile. I turn and find a sleepy Justin Randall standing behind me, his eyes, half closed.
" I don't know."
" Play for me?"
Without saying yes or no, he picks up my hands, and places them on the keys. My fingers flow over the notes and starting singing again.
The magic that's found in dreams
Is the magic you put in me
We'll build castles up in the sky
That's the power of you and I
" Josh?"
I turn my head to look at him.
" I know."
I stop playing and for the first time, his shoulder becomes my pillow. I cry.
(You and Me, Wild Orchid) ~~~~~~~~ Thanks for reading. ~Elisheva MrClean290@aol.com OR BritsChick1@hotmail.com