We pulled up into the parking lot of Providence High School. My stomach started to get queasy, I began to sweat and I had a lump in my throat the size of a jaw breaker. Shawn parked the car looking back at me.
Getting out I said, "I can't do this, I'm not ready guys." "Come on Kevin, we'll be with you every step of the way." I didn't get a chance to protest any further as I was pulled out of the car. A few of the students who were in the quad outside stared in disbelief and whispered amongst themselves.
I knew that no one could go with me as I went to see the vice principal Mr. Robert Doyle. Entering the principals office, I was greeted warmly by the receptionist that had to take a double take, she couldn't believe it was me. "Kevin, is that you dear boy?" "Yes, Ms. Klein, it's me." She ran from behind the counter and pulled me into a deep hug. A few moments later we heard an "Ahem," from behind us. It was the vice principal. He was a tall black man about 6`4", who seemed to have lost a lot of weight since I saw him last, with thinning hair on top and some grey in his beard. "Kevin, please come in." I tried to tell myself that I was strong and that I could do this. "Oh, who was I kidding, I'm a nervous wreck," I thought to myself.
I'm not going to bore you with the conversation we had, but needless to say, I had to agree to complete the school year as it was and go to summer school so I was eligible to be a senior next year and graduate high school. "Ugh, summer school? Really? There goes my summer with Ed," I thought to myself.
For the rest of the day I had people oohing and aahhing about my sudden return from the dead. It seemed to go by in a blur, because before I knew it the last bell rang at 2:55 pm.
I went to my locker feeling pretty good until...I felt a shove from behind me and someone yelled, "Watch it FAG!" I never did see who it was. Before I could even think, John came up by me and saw that I looked visibly shaken. "What's wrong bro?" He asked. "Sss-someone just came up behind me and shoved yelling, "watch it fag" at me. I don't usually stutter, but I was upset by the comment. Just then, Shawn and Gus showed up. "Ready to go- uh oh, what's happened?" I recounted what happened and all three balled their fists in frustration ready to fight. I just stood there stunned at how much of a change there was in John.
Before I could break down and embarrass myself on my first day back, Shawn, Gus and my brother John ushered me out of the building. Shielding me as much as possible, I was placed in the car as we sped away. I couldn't hold it in any longer, I just let it all out. I started to sob uncontrollably in the back seat. John was seated next to me. He threw his arm around my shoulders and pulled me against him, letting me cry. He never let go of me the whole ride home. I had to know, so I asked John just as we pulled into our driveway, "You really don't hate me anymore?" Shawn and Gus turned around looking at John. "No, Kevin I don't and I never should have." "Why? What's changed?" I asked him confused by his statement. "I thought you were the reason that mom left us, but then dad told me the real reason." "Which is?" "Mom was having an affair and they were fighting when she walked out." My mouth dropped open, so did Shawn's and Gus'. "Come on guys, dad's going to be home in about an hour, let's go in a hang out until then." John commanded with such authority.
After about 15 minutes, Ed called me. "Hi, Kevin, how was your first day back?" He asked. "Um...well it was good until someone shoved me from behind and called me a fag." I retorted. "OMG Kevin, are you alright?" "I'm better, thanks to John." "John? What did he do?" "He got me out of school before I broke down and held onto me all the way home." "Wow, quite a 180 from a few weeks ago." "Yea, I know, he doesn't hate me anymore." "That's great baby, but what's changed?" "Well, he thought that I was the reason that our mom left but dad set him straight." "I set who straight?" Our dad asked, entering the room. I quickly explained about our mother's affair and the subsequent fight that led to her leaving to Edwin. Our father came over to me and put his hand on my shoulder squeezing it and then leaning down and kissing my forehead. "Ed, my father just got home, can I call you a bit later?" "Sure babe, whatever you need?" "Ok, I'll call you in a bit."
We hung up and John turned to our father asking, "Dad, you're home early, is everything okay?" "Yes, I just told my boss I needed to be home for my boys. So how was your first day back Kevin?" I quickly explained what had happened to dad and he came back over to me and embraced me. I felt like such a baby, but I was never made to feel like one. It felt good to be held by our father. "Are you boys hungry?" My dad asked. In unison we all answered, "Yea." We settled on pizza, one of our favorites. About an hour later it arrived. We ate and then Shawn and Gus had to get going because they had homework to do and unfortunately, so did I.
I didn't have that much homework to do since it was my first day back, so I finished it quickly. I then decided to call Ed. But all I got was his voicemail, so I left him a quick message when I heard a knock on the door. I said to whoever was there to come in. It was both Jamie and John.
They came over and sat on my bed next to me. I felt really lucky to have them both in my life and our dad. I wasn't hated after all, I thought to myself. "Hello, earth to Kevin," John said to me waving his hand in front of my face. "Huh, wha-" I said. "Where'd you go Kevin?" John said looking at me with a raised eyebrow. "Um, nowhere, I was just thinking how lucky I am." "You are lucky, big bro." Jamie chimed in wrapping his arms around my neck. My eyes began to tear up as I wrapped my arms around him and kissed his forehead. "Hey, what about me?" John asked with a grin. "Come here, ya big lug." I said. We all embraced for about 10 minutes when our father walked by and saw us. He stood there for several moments watching us with tears in his eyes. He creaked the door open and walked over to us. "I'm such a lucky man. I finally have all my family back." Our father said looking at us. He embraced the three of us and then sat down watching us. It was about 10:30 when our father broke in and said that it was past Jamie's bed time. "Aww, do I have to daddy?" Jamie pleaded with our dad. "Yes, Jamie, you have school in the morning and so do John and Kevin."
They exited my room and then I decided to try Ed again. This time he answered, but he seemed out of sorts. "Hi, Ed its me, are you alright?" "Hi, Kevin, yea, I'm alright, I was just sleeping. I have to get up early in the morning for work." "Oh, I'm sorry I woke you, I just wanted to hear your voice before I went to bed and tell you I love you." "It's ok babe, I love you too." There was silence for a moment when I heard a voice in the background say, "Who is that babe?" "Ed, who was that? Are you cheating on me with someone else?" There was again silence. "Ed, I asked you a question." My voice starting to crack. "Kevin, its not that simple." "What's not that simple? You're supposed to be my boyfriend and you're screwing around with someone else behind my back?" I continued. "I don't want to hear any of your lame excuses Ed, we're through!" I hung the phone up and began to sob uncontrollably. I didn't even look up to see that my dad was standing over me. "Son, what's wrong?" he had his hands on my shoulders. "Ed is cheating on me with someone else!" "How do you know son?" He asked me. "Because I heard someone in the background of our conversation ask, "who is that babe?" Getting very red in the face, my father said, "I'll kill him for hurting my little boy." "I'm not that little anymore dad, and please don't, I just need to forget about him." "Ok, son, whatever you think is best." He just sat there rocking me and rubbing my face and head until I eventually fell asleep.
Before I knew it the alarm on my bedside table was going off. It was 6:30 and time for me to begin another day. I noticed my phone come on and saw about 10 text messages and 4 voicemails from Ed. I ignored the text messages but decided to listen to the voicemails. He was apologizing profusely for his behavior, saying how inexcusable it was. God I wanted to forgive him, but how could I after how he'd hurt me?
I couldn't feel sorry for myself, even how much this sucked, I had my family by my side and most importantly, John no longer hated me. I smiled a little thinking about that.
I decided about a quarter to 7 that it was time to get up and ready for the day. I took a good long shower and before I knew it, it was a quarter past 7. I got out of the shower and looked at myself in the mirror and wasn't disgusted by what I saw staring back at me. I was happy with what I saw for the very first time. There came a knock on the bathroom door. "Kevin, quit jacking off," John joked, "and get downstairs, dad wants us to eat breakfast before we go to school." Turning red I shot back, "I'm not doing that!" "Yea, right." is all I heard as I exited my bathroom and entered my room. I wanted to dress kind of nice today, so I selected a graphic t-shirt and my favorite pair of blue jeans. I just messed my hair up since I didn't have that much time and went downstairs.
As I entered, everyone had frowns on their faces. I knew that dad had told John and Jamie about last night. I tried to scowl, but how could I be mad at him? He was looking out for me and it appeared my bros wanted to do the same. With tears in my eyes we hugged and then sat down and ate. My dad had to rush off to work because his boss needed him on an important insurance claim and a potential new client. We embraced one last time as he ran out the door.
Next it was our turn to go. We wouldn't be driving with Shawn and Gus this morning as they wanted to spend some time alone together.
John, Jamie and I grabbed our bags and headed for the door. John started up his car and away we were. First we dropped off Jamie and wished him a good day. He hugged me before he ran towards the school. I saw him interacting with a couple boys he knew as we pulled away. "Hey Jamie, wasn't that your fag brother I saw you hugging?" "He's not a fag! Don't call him that! And yes, I was hugging him because I love him!" All they could say was, " Jeez, Jamie, we didn't mean anything by it. We were just trying to fit in." "Well, if you want to stay my friend, you'll never use that word again!" "Okay, Jamie, we won't." "Good."
We were almost late for school as we pulled up. No one was in the quad. I was actually relieved that I didn't have to see anyone. We entered together and went for our lockers. John never left my side, even if it made him late to class. As the second warning bell rang, we said our goodbyes and ran to class.
First period was boring, second period was boring and third period was boring. All I could think about was how hurt I felt at Ed's betrayal. "How could he do this to me?" I thought to myself. Finally the bell rang and I realized I'd spent all period not even paying attention. I quickly jotted down the assignment and left the room.
When I entered the cafeteria, I heard some whispering as I walked by a few tables and could hear the faint word fag' being said. I balled up my fist in anger, just as John, Shawn and Gus came up to me. They looked at me with concern on their faces. "What's wrong, Kev?" Gus asked before either Shawn or John could. "I heard the word fag' get used as I walked by a few tables." The three of them calmed me down by putting their hands on my shoulders and ushering me to a table after we got our food.
A couple of the basketball players motioned for John to join them but he shook his head at them. To our surprise, they got up from their usual table and came over to sit with us. The other players seemed disgusted by this, but they didn't seem to care. Charlie and Mike sat in silence for a moment and then turned to me saying, "Were really sorry Kevin." I had a confused look on my face. "We used to agree with John and the other players that you were a fag, but we never had a problem with you being gay. We even urged John to make things right with you." "Wow, guys it's okay, John and I are getting better. So, (gulp) you guys don't hate me?" "No, Kevin, we never did." With this out in the open and out of the way, we started to talk and catch up.
The bell ending lunch rang about 20 minutes later and we headed our separate ways, but we said we'd meet up later and hang out. Shawn, Gus, John and I headed to gym as Mike and Charlie headed to biology class.
"Well look what the cat dragged in, it's the fag crew."
I'd never seen that boy before that I could remember, but I knew that some of my memory was lost because of the accident. "What are you looking at fag?" I still couldn't place him, and I didn't even notice them balling up their fists ready to pounce. Then it came to me. It suddenly came to me who it was: Evan Richards! That's who this asshole was! I still couldn't remember anything else about him, but I also found myself balling my fists in anger. Nothing more was said or done because the coach came in and told us to break it up. I had a feeling he was going to be trouble. He glared at me several times but I stayed away from him all period. The coach let us have a free period to do what we wanted. I wanted to go to the weight room, so that's where we went, while Evan and his buddies played b-ball.
Thankfully after gym class the last three periods of the day went by without a hitch. The bell rang at 2:55 and I ran for my locker. I sighed, "Thank god another day is done." I thought to myself. John showed up a few minutes later with Shawn and Gus. Mike and Charlie met us at the front door. They wanted to know if we wanted to hang out this weekend. Part of me wanted to agree but a bigger part of me smelled a set up. I told them I'd think about it. I knew that Shawn and Gus wouldn't let anything happen to me, but I still felt a little uneasy about John and didn't trust Mike and Charlie yet.
After a couple of days of avoiding Ed, I knew I had to tell him we were officially done and tell him to leave me alone. So, when I was alone Friday night I called him. He was just headed out when I caught him. "Hi, Ed." I said. "Kevin, it's so good to hear your voice. Does this mean you've forgiven me now?" "No, Ed, it doesn't. You've hurt me very badly. I don't want to see you anymore." He only said one word to me, "Okay." And then hung up. He started bawling. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I screwed up royally. I let my hormones get the best of me and had a one night stand with someone. Kevin called me as I was in bed with him. I told him to remain quiet because I'd already ignored one of his calls and I couldn't do it again. Of course, I should've known that he wouldn't keep his mouth shut! Kevin heard him say, "who is that, babe?" And I knew Kevin knew what I'd done. I tried to cover but I couldn't. I wanted to explain, but he wouldn't let me and after several days he called me and ended it. I had single handedly messed up the best relationship I have ever had in my young life for a one night stand. I was so horny and Kevin lived 3 hours away. That's how I justified it in my own mind.
I no longer felt like going out for the night, so I called my friends and told them I didn't feel good. All I wanted to do was run to Kevin and beg his forgiveness. I decided that since I couldn't drive to San Antonio because I had to work in the morning, I would call Kevin. At first he wouldn't answer my call, but after the fifth try he picked up.
I could tell he'd been crying. "What do you want?" He cried out into the phone. "Kevin, I know you're upset with me, but I still love you and I always will. I can't leave things like this." "You love me?! If you loved me, you wouldn't have cheated on me!" "I know and I'm sorry I hurt you! Please don't end things! I'll earn back your trust, I promise." "I can't do this right now, Ed, please just give me some time." With a little bit of hope in his voice, he said, "Okay. I'll give you some time." "Good night, Ed." "Good night, Kevin." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ That night I cried myself to sleep. There was a thunderstorm that night and as I was drifting off to sleep, Jamie came in as he always did when a thunderstorm started and hopped in bed with me. He cuddled himself close to me and we slept all night like that.
When I woke up Saturday morning to Jamie stirring all I could think was how much I didn't want to think about Ed or how much he'd hurt me. I just laid there and started to cry to myself. I was going to spend most of Saturday doing that. Nothing could be done about it, no matter how hard I tried.
I ignored Carter's and Shawn's calls all day long. I just couldn't face them how I was.
About 3 pm Saturday afternoon, the doorbell rang. John was out and our dad was working at that big insurance claim at work. Jamie was downstairs watching TV and got up to answer it. He welcomed Carter with open arms. Carter leaned down and embraced Jamie. "Hey, little man, is Kevin here?" He looked up at Carter sheepishly and said, "Yea, he's upstairs in his room. He won't come out or anything. I'm really worried about him Carter." "Let me take care of this little man, okay?" "Okay, Carter, if you think you can." Carter rubbed his hands through Jamie's hair and turned to ascend the staircase.
My door was the second on the right. When Carter got to it he knocked. At first I didn't answer. He knocked a little more forcefully the second time. After a second no answer, he banged on it, startling me. "Who is it?" I asked. "Kevin, it's me Carter, can I come in?" "Please, just go away Carter, I don't want to see anyone right now." "Kevin, you're my best friend, I'm not going away, not when you're in so much pain." I knew he was right. He is my best friend. So, forcefully, I got up off my bed and walked to door unlocking it. When Carter heard the click of the lock unlocking, he turned the knob and pushed the door open. Before I could move, the door swung back and hit me in the forehead. "Owww!" I yelled out in pain. Jamie came running upstairs when he heard me yell out. "What happened?" He asked, standing in my doorway now. Carter explained, "After Kevin unlocked his door, I pushed the door open and it hit him in his forehead." I was sitting on the bed holding my head with tears in my eyes and feeling like the room was spinning. "Jamie, go get some ice, hurry." Jamie hurried off as Carter came over putting his arms around my shoulder and said, "Lie down, Kevin, you took a nasty bump to the head." A few minutes later Jamie came back into my room and Carter took the bag of ice and placed it on my head. It was way too cold for me but Carter refused to remove it from my head and he told me to not open my eyes.
I slept for several hours, okay more like about 5 hours I was told after I woke up. At first I couldn't focus my eyes, so I had no idea who I was looking at. After about 10 minutes, I could finally focus and I saw that my dad was sitting on my bed and Jamie was sitting in my desk chair. "Wha-dad, what are you doing here? What happened?" I asked feeling very confused and my head pounding. "Don't worry about that now," my father said. "Just rest now."
It was late at night when I finally woke up. I heard some noise from downstairs and decided to go downstairs and see what the commotion was about. It was Edwin. He and my father were arguing. I walked into the living room and yelled, "Stop it! The both of you!" This caught the both of them off guard. "Dad, you sit and Ed, you come with me." I stated plainly.
I took Edwin with me and out the back to our porch. Turning to face him I asked, "What are you doing here?" "You wouldn't answer you're phone and neither would your father so I got worried and drove here after work." "Well, you can see I'm fine Ed, I just had a little bump to the head and my father wanted me to just rest." "That's more than a little bump," he said, "that's a pretty major bruise forming." He reached out to touch it, but I winced in pain and pulled away from him. "You lost the right to touch me when you cheated on me." I said through tear stained eyes. He wanted to comfort me, but I wouldn't let him. I continued to back away from him and as I was about to lose my balance, he reached out and caught me before I could fall. He held me like that for several minutes, us just looking into each others eyes. I went to push him away, but he just held me closer, tighter against him.
"I'm sorry Kevin, there is no excuse for what I did. Please let me try to make it up to you." Edwin said with more emotion than I'd ever seen him show. "I don't think I can right now, Ed, I'm still very hurt and upset with you." But actually inside I wanted to throw my arms around him and kiss him, but my mind wouldn't let me. I was glad that I decided to lead with my head, and not the one between my legs...pervs. Instead of my heart. "Does this mean you're going to cut me out of your life completely?" "Ed, you are the reason I'm standing here right now, so no I could never cut you out of my life completely, I just can't be with you right now." His face began to soften as I said this. I looked at him questioningly, but he just grinned and kissed my cheek. "Do you feel better?" Edwin asked me. "A little." I replied. "Good, now I hate to cut and run but I've have to get going, I have to work today." I didn't even realize it was well after midnight and I had school in about 6 hours.
I walked Edwin out to his car and wished him a safe trip back to Houston. I let him kiss me on the cheek again, but nothing else. I just hugged him and said, "We'll talk again soon, okay?" He just nodded and I watched as pulled out of the driveway and out of sight.
I wanted to take a moment and thank a couple of readers, you know who are, for giving me the motivation I needed to continue this story. I hope ya'll are enjoying it.