Welcome to Chapter 12 of the series 'Everything I Said', a continuation into the mind of a sick and twisted, yet romantic, writer of Nifty Archive fame. Well. Maybe not fame yet, but hopefully someday. Hopefully soon. Anyways, here is my legal crap.
This is a work of fiction. I am in no way implying or stating anything about the real life sexuality of the member of 'N Sync. This story involves homosexuality, and male/male romance. If this type of material offends you please leave now. Also if you are under the age of 18, or this type of material is illegal in your state or country, please leave too. You can check out my SlashPage at: http://www.angelfire.com/celeb/DLeVanelle/index.html
Or e-mail me with your thoughts and opinions at: levanelle@yahoo.com
Or you can try and catch me online through AIM. My name is DLeVanelle. I'm always up to chatting with my fans. Hope you enjoy the rest of the series as it continues to develop. Later! And Godspeed.
-Darren
P.S. I'm starting a little contest. From now till August 8th I will be accepting guesses to the identity of 'Jay' at the following e-mail address. Please do not send in more than one guess. The people who guess correctly will have their names included in the Chapter that reveals 'Jay's identity. Furthermore there will be a special mention of the person who has the closest reasoning for why they guessed a particular member of 'N Sync as 'Jay'. Send your guess to: jaybjay@hotmail.com And good luck to all of you out there. I just wanted to have a little fun with this. ***********************************************************************
EVERYTHING I SAID
- Chapter 12 - Written by Darren LeVanelle
Try me.
I'll cut straight to the point.
I kissed a co-worker yesterday. YOU WHAT?!?
I kissed someone. Was it a guy?
Of course.
I am, after all, gay. Did you enjoy it.
Honestly... Honestly???
Yes I did. Very much so. So I guess our meeting is off then.
Only if that's what you want. But you KISSED someone before even giving me the chance!
But I'm being honest with you.
Doesn't that amount to something? Well...yeah! But I'm mad right now so I'm not paying attention to reason!
Hello! WHAT???
We just kissed. It's not like we did anything sexual But did you want to??? Huh? Huh? Huh?
If it wasn't for the fact that I'm really into you
And that I work with him everyday
And that I don't give in to my hormones
Then I might have ARGH!
But only if I had a really bad day!
:) So you don't want to date this guy or anything?
Nope. Why not?
Cause he's a friend already and I'd rather not lose that just for an opportunity. Friends last, boyfriends don't always. Is that how you feel about me?
I can't say yet.
But I'd be able to tell once I look at you. Oh. I see how it is. Gotta make sure I'm cute enough eh.
No it's not that.
I said I had to 'look' at you, not make sure you were cute. Uh huh! Wait. I don't get that.
I have to look and see how I feel with you.
Like is there a connection, some kind of chemistry between us.
The guy I kissed I don't have any connection or chemistry with. Ok. I think I get it now.
But he is cute.
:) Now I have to take back all the good things I've ever said about you. You're losing points!
I didn't know I was earning them. Well I think you don't have any left now.
Good. I just want to be fresh when we meet. I hope you're fresh!
WHAT?!? Not that I'll mind if you aren't! :)
You are just TOO cute! I hope you'll think that when you see me.
I'm sure I will. Listen. I hate to be the brat but I've got to go. More things to take care of with work before I can fly out to San Diego. So is that good? Meeting there I mean?
Yeah. I'll let you know for sure by tomorrow. Ok.
Talk to you later. And take care. You too. And remember...
What? Je t'aime.
User has disconnected.
Damn him. Saying that and logging off before I get to ream him. Sigh. I suppose it could be worse. He could be saying that he just wants to meet me and have sex with me. Worse things have happened.
Jay sent me an e-mail the next day telling me what Hotel he was staying at. He gave me the room number and what time to meet him there. At noon on Thursday. I replied and let him know that I'd be in San Diego earlier that day so it would be fine. Of course he didn't know that it was because 'N Sync was having a concert there three days later. I bet he'd love that. We rolled into Tucson a little over a day later. The remaining of my trip was pretty uneventful. Nothing exciting to talk about. Except for the fact that I was actually feeling a whole lot better. Good. That meant getting back to work and seeing the guys again.
Although It had only been a little over a month since I started this insane job, I actually began to like them. Not as 'N Sync but just as themselves. It was so refreshing to see pop stars that weren't pop stars. And I was enjoying myself.
True to form when I walked in the amphitheater I found Joey busily attempting to perform my job...just like me.
"Ok guys! On three! Harmonize and just let the voice flow." He put his fingers in the air and counted down. The guys sang and to my utter amazement, Joey had my board up and running the way I did. The four of them on stage actually sounded great through the system. But I had to do my job regardless.
"You're drowning JC and Justin out with the reverb. It's too saturated." I screamed from by the seating. Joey turned around and had this look on his face. "You may have learned the basics but you still need to learn to trust your instincts." The guys on stage turned and looked at Joey, all laughing hysterically. I went up to the sound stage and fiddled with the knobs and had them re-do the take. This time they sounded more natural.
"See that. It only took me three seconds to adjust for them. You need to get that down in order to mix in the live environment. Just trust your ears. They don't lie."
"Thanks Jere!"
I smiled and had them do a run through of some of their material. It all sounded so much better than the last time I did a soundcheck. Much more human sounding instead of the normal digitized work they did in the studio. A major plus.
I was about to wrap it up for the check and catch a quick nap, since everything checked out and tested fine, when I saw JC talking with some of the band members. He was moving around a lot and then he headed for the microphones. "Hey Jeremy. I've got this song stuck in my head and I think I might want to do it for a solo encore tonight. Can we check it out through the system?"
"Sure thing JC. Just gimme a second." I powered up the mixing console and set some basic levels and then cued him to begin. The guitarist started to play some progression that sounded very familiar. I couldn't quite place it. Just as the drums pounded in and JC started to sing I recognized the song. And I thought I was the only one who found it touching.
'It makes me lonely'
'It makes me very lonely'
'When I see you here'
'Waiting on.'
I never thought a guy, let alone a boy-band singer, could ever pull this off. Dolores's voice was just too unique. But somehow JC managed to do it. He changed the inflections a lot, but it suited his voice well. It was starting to send shivers up and down my spine.
'He makes me tired'
'He makes me very tired'
'And inside of me'
'Lingers on'
'But you have your heart'
'Don't believe it'
'And you will find it'
'Waiting on'
'Everything I said, oh'
'Well I meant it'
'And inside my head'
'Holding on.'
As he went into this part of the song I could hear something in his voice. It was like something was hidden, yet it was all up in front of my eyes. There was so much passion in his voice. The only time I'd ever heard him sing like this was when I heard him in the mini-studio. So much pain, but so much hope. And I hated it. Why did this guy have to have real talent.
'Cause if I died tonight'
'Would you hold my hand, oh?'
'Would you understand?'
'And if I lied in spite'
'Would you still be here, no'
'Would you disappear?'
'Surely must be you'
'Surely must be you'
'But I don't make you lonely'
'I'll get over you'
'I'll get over you'
'But I don't make you lonely'
I was almost in tears by the time he had finished the soundcheck. He turned towards me, looking satisfied. "So? Was I good?"
"It was great JC!" Ok. A little to excited sounding.
"So do you think I could do it tonight?"
"I think you've got it down boy!" And I think I have a little infatuation with a certain 'N Syncer now!
*********************************************************************** TO BE CONTINUED???
Ok. This was yet another filler chapter but I have to be to work like real soon and stuff but at least I got one out. :) Shoot me. Anyways don't forget my little contest and to make sure you enter. You have till the 8th people so please do it now! NOW I SAY! Anyways, check it out tomorrow for Chapter 13 and stay tuned. More twists and turns are on their way!!!
P.S. The song included in this chapter is 'Everything I Said' as performed by The Cranberries. Lyrics written by Dolores O'Riordan. Music written by Dolores O'Riordan and Noel Hogan. I couldn't find all the information about copyrights and stuff so I did the only research I could and winged it some. Unfortunately, all The Cranberries sites out there don't say anything about copyright information or about song authorship. Shame on you guys! You should know your stuff. The original version of this song appears on their 'No Need To Argue' CD. ***********************************************************************