EVIDENCE OF ITS EXISTENCE Copyright 2006 Christian Mitchell Introduction:
I never planned to forfeit my status as a New York City resident. Nor could I have predicted that I would have enrolled in college while living in Florida. I considered New York to be my home. I enjoyed being out and about, meeting new people, the restaurants, the clubs, the shopping, and the energy that the city was capable of generating. I loved New York and everything that it had to offer. My intention was to be a full-fledged New Yorker until I deemed it necessary to move on, should I ever choose to do so.
The opportunity to model presented itself soon after I graduated high school, but I opted not to pursue it. My main ambition was to forge a career as a writer and musician.
I had established a friendship with a guy that I had submitted a demo cd of my music to during the summer of 2000. I was a singer/songwriter with aspirations of recording and performing original music. Ted quickly offered to represent me as my manager and provided a five-year contract, in addition to artistic development. Initially, the condition was that I would attend vocal and dance lessons. I was also expected to work on writing and recording new music that would interest industry executives beyond the music included on my original demo.
Eventually, Ted allowed me to live in his apartment while I pursued my musical goals. However, due to occupational requirements, Ted decided to relocate to Naples, Florida to work and live full-time. I agreed to help him move into his new house and drove with him from New York City to the Gulf Coast of Florida. I also accepted his offer to continue working on music in the studio that he provided in his new home.
I had known for quite some time that Ted liked me very much. I was careful and weary of allowing our professional relationship to develop into something more intimate. I considered Ted to be a good friend and enjoyed his friendship and professional guidance. He was a very nice guy, and he was generous with his resources and time. However, I missed living in New York. Following eight months of living in Florida I decided to return to New York City on my own.
Ted continued to encourage and support my goals. He also informed me that he missed me and wished that he and I could establish a more intimate relationship with each other. I contemplated the idea because of our friendship, his professional qualities and the resources I could utilize in his home, such as the studio. After much thought, I decided that I was willing to return to Florida to discover whether or not we could be in a relationship. I also enrolled in college with a focus on literature and music.
I was in my early twenties and Ted was in his mid-forties. I enjoyed working out at the gym to develop muscle mass and definition. Ted was slightly overweight and shaved his head bald. I had no reservations about getting on the dancefloor, while Ted usually watched from the sidelines. Although we had many similiar interests, physically Ted and I were the complete opposite of each other. Many people made note of our differences. Others congratulated Ted on being able to "rope in" a good looking guy, such as myself. I knew that I was considered very attractive, but it bothered me that I appeared to be Ted's trophy boy. Nor did I appreciate the idea that many considered Ted to be my sugar daddy.
I can not claim that Ted and I had a lot of issues or problems in our relationship. We got along well and respected each other. Yet the physical attraction between the two of us did not exist as it should have. In the past I had been involved with guys about my age and considered quite good looking. Perhaps I was shallow, but I never put forth much effort to establish the intimacy between the two of us. Our sex life was sporadic and involved little activity. Both of us being top in a sexual situation did not faciliate matters either.
In spite of our relationship's "limitations", Ted and I cared about each other very much. We enjoyed spending time together. I occupied my time with college classes and working in the recording studio. Ted was often busy with work. We respected each other's space and time, never demanding that the other make sacrifices in order to make the other happy. However, everything changed during the summer of 2004 when I met Mike.
The happiness that I had been accustomed to was altered by something truly amazing. The love I had previously experienced had been replaced by a love I never knew existed. For the first time in my life, I allowed myself to be open and vulnerable so that I could truly love another person as much as he loved me.
2005 proved to be one of the best years of life. Later it proved to be the worst. Everything about me and my life was destroyed and re-shaped into something new. I celebrated the arrival of 2006 as a man changed for the better.
I was heart broken. And I was grateful.
This is my story.