Evil Is a Man

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

If you like what you're reading, let me know: SellarDhor@gmail.com. And let me know where you want the story to go and who you want Jake to end up with. And if you have any ideas for the future, let me know, I might include them.

JANUARY 14th

"And that's it. That's everything that happened while you were gone, Parker."

The two of us had been walking towards the stables that morning after I was done with Cornelius's morning session and he was finished giving Glaucia her riding lesson. I told him about Giggles turning Tucker, about Polly starting to secretly give lessons to Lewis, about Jericho torturing Lewis into trying to get his fist to turn to steel, about how it looks more and more like Giggles's ex-husband, Vivek Shankar, might have leaked the information that led to my father's death. About the lurid details of the rodeo, including how Syd came drunk, which totally infuriated Parker. About how Rose almost ruined everything, and how Syd had to make a sick deal with Rose, how that deal was almost ruined the night before by Enid. I told him about the little girl with the burns being healed by Giggles in order to win his father's loyalty.

And lastly, I told him all about Boyd. How it was obvious to me that the two of us were highly attracted to each other, but we both knew we couldn't act on it. And what happened when I did decide to act on it. I left out the lurid details of our tryst, not wanting to embarrass my straight friend with explicit gay sex, but telling him we slept together, and all the horrible stuff that happened after.

"I just cannot believe this Boyd Slade," Parker said, his face turning totally red with even more anger than when I had mentioned Syd. "He should be imprisoned indefinitely for what he did to you. I had no idea what kind of scoundrel he was."

"Yes, he turned out to be the worst kind of snake."

He reached over and gave me a comforting hug. "I should have been here for you. To protect you. I'm so sorry I failed you."

"There was nothing you could have done anyway," I said.

"I think I'll go over after this lesson and have a few choice words with this Mr. Slade," he huffed. "I wouldn't be terribly surprised if blows were exchanged." The odd thing was, I knew Parker was all about not letting his hostility get the best of him, but I realized that his cool-headedness seemed to only apply if when he was the victim. If one of his loved ones was being bullied, he was the first to rally a defense.

"No Parker, please don't do that," I said. "I wasn't supposed to tell anyone, as a part of his deal. And he still has to throw his rodeo events, so I don't want to do anything to incite him."

"It'll take all of my willpower to stand in the same room with him and not say anything. But of course, I promise you, I will. For your own sake."

"Thanks."

"I'm so sorry this happened to you again," he said. "Your sweet, gentle heart, being used and manipulated for other people's gains. You don't deserve any of this."

"I can't help but feel responsible for letting myself be victimized."

"No, that's crazy-talk."

"I should have known that Syd and Boyd were both too good to be true. Should have seen through them."

"Hush now. It's not your fault," he said, offering me comforting hug.

"You wouldn't have been fooled, Parker."

"You don't know that."

"Anyway, I promise this won't happen again. After my entire love life looks more depressingly twisted than a Greek tragedy, I'm giving up on romance."

Parker looked angry. "No, you absolutely cannot do that," he said. "You're far too young to be jaded about love. I promise you, your perfect match is out there, and he's going to knock your socks off. You have to be open to him when he comes."

"I'll try."

We reached the stable. "I know you'll be tempted to rest on your laurels now that you know Boyd and Glaucia are both going to be throwing their rodeo matches. But I want to remind you that Boyd's only throwing three events, and you need four to win. And with Boyd and Glaucia both, they can only try to influence the parts of the events they are involved in, which could end up still meaning a win for their side."

"I know that, Parker. That's why I'm begging you to take Boyd's place and keep honing my skills."

"You've got just two short days until your next competition with Boyd and his wife, did you know that?"

"I didn't realize it was coming up that quickly."

"I suggest we practice as much as possible until then." He looked through the stalls of horses. "I know you have Patches as your main horse, and you've been using Curie as a smaller alternative. Well, as of this morning, that has to be adjusted. Annie gave up her horse, and so I decided to give Curie to her. She always got along much better with the animal than I ever could. So, this morning, I picked out a new, permanent horse for myself. And, by extension, for you to use as well. I picked out a real clever animal this time, even smarter than Curie, I believe. I think you need to start developing a relationship of your own with the animal as soon as possible. Let me introduce you."

Parker led me to one of the nearby stalls. "This is Abderhalden. Abderhalden, meet Jake."

He was petting the muzzle of a black, male horse of a normal height, certainly much less muscled than some of the other horses.

"Hello, Abderhalden," I said.

Polly wasn't around, she must have been giving Lewis his lesson, and we could hear Donnie in the back stall with Jericho's horse, so no one was able to saddle Abderhalden for us. Parker did it himself, and then pulled the horse outside of the stables.

"I want to see how you ride my new friend," he said. "Go ahead and mount the animal."

Parker supported me as I climbed onto the horse, but avoided touching my butt like Boyd had always done. When I got into the saddle, I took the reins, and started to lead Abderhalden around in a little circle.

Abderhalden started to yank his head back and forth, fighting my directions. I had been trained what to do next; I held on firm to the reins, not letting him pull. "I'm in charge!" I yelled.

"Whoa. Who taught you that you had to bully your horse into submission?" Parker asked.

"Boyd said I should do that whenever a horse isn't minding me."

"Well, Boyd is a damn fool. If your horse isn't minding you, it's not because you need to exact your authority. It's because he doesn't understand you. Doesn't trust you yet. You just need to get down off the horse, get on its level and give it some affection."

I got back down on the ground. "I hope by affection you're not suggesting I sexually pleasure the horse, because I've had the great misfortune of being forced to witness that particular strategy by Donnie."

Parker looked disturbed. "No, I would never, ever consent to ever doing anything to an animal sexually. That's just unethical, and disgusting, Jake."

"Oh, splendid we agree on that matter. In that case, I'm all for trying."

Parker grabbed my hand and gently put it on Abderhalden's muzzle. "Abderhalden, Jake is my friend. He knows what he's doing, and he's not going to hurt you. You can trust him." Parker pulled away his hand and took a step back. "Go on, just pet him for a second."

I kept my hand on the muzzle of the horse, looking him in the eye and petting him. "You can trust me, Abderhalden," I said, feeling a bit silly.

"Okay, try again, Jake."

I got back on the horse, and this time there was no fighting when I steered him around. "Wow, Parker, you really know what you're doing!"

"I've always been good with horses. I have a whole lot of experience, I suppose. Though no one's as good with them as Polly. She practically has a psychic connection with them."

"What should we cover today?"

"I wanted to teach you the most important thing of all if you're riding so high on these taller animals. How to fall safely."

"That's a lesson I'm in dire need of," I said. "Syd is a reckless rider, and I almost fell off the horse a couple times during the last competition."

"That's what I was afraid of." He had brought a bag with him, and he opened it up. "I have some items here that are very outside the zeitgeist of the Old West, but I feel are necessary. Why don't you get off the horse for now."

As I jumped down, Parker pulled out a helmet, knee pads, elbow pads, and wrist guards. I had no hang-ups about putting them all on, and I knew Parker would not continue with me if I tried to skirt his precautions.

Once they were all on, Parker taught me how to spin and roll when I landed, lessening the impact of the fall, while at the same time covering my face with my arms and tucking my legs to protect myself. And then he stressed that as soon as I stopped rolling, I needed to open my eyes and get up immediately, so as not to let myself get trampled by a horse or anything else.

He had me practice by making me jump from standing on my feet to the hitting the ground. When I had his technique down, he put me on top of a nearby barrel, and I practiced falling off from that elevated position. He wasn't going to have me fall from the horse, but I absolutely insisted. I climbed up Abderhalden and mocked falling off to the side. I rolled just as he had instructed, to Parker's delight.

Only after that was I allowed to remove the safety gear and practice riding normally. After watching me from the ground for awhile, Parker asked, "How about we go to the calf pen and practice Calf Roping now?"

"Okay," I said. We put Abderhalden away and got Patches out.

"Are you going to come up here and take Syd's position?" I asked

"I suppose."

I scooted to the back of the saddle and he got up on the large horse. He seemed just a bit awkward with his false leg, and I wondered if I should help him. "Do you want me to help you, Parker?"

"Nope, I'm fine," he said without the slightest bit of annoyance at my question.

And he was right, the mounting had looked a bit off, but he did it as easily and successfully as I could have hoped. He grabbed the reins and started to lead the horse towards the calf pen. I grabbed him around the chest and held on.

"You don't have to hold me so tightly, Jake."

I loosened my hands. "Sorry, I guess I'm too used to riding behind Syd and Boyd, who would both change course and speed very suddenly, sometimes seemingly just to make me grab them harder."

"Well, I would never do that. My top concern is your safety. I'm not about to ride recklessly just so I could get my jollies by having you totally wrapped around my body."

"Sorry, I'll take my hands off your chest, and just hold you loosely on the sides. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable."

"You NEVER make me uncomfortable, Jake. Please don't apologize. You can hold me in whatever way makes you feel comfortable. If that means loosely, that's fine, I promise you won't fall off due to my riding. And if you prefer to hold on tightly, that's fine too."

Even though I was sure he was being genuine, I kept my hands loosely on him, not wanting to take advantage of him in any way. When we got to the calf pen, he dismounted, opened the gate, pulled the horse through, and locked the gate again.

"Should we be taking off our clothes?" I asked.

"No need," he said. "This is just for practice, Jake. We're you practicing nude before?"

"Yes, Boyd had me practicing the events that required nudity nude."

"Well, once again, Boyd's judgment is highly suspect. Clearly the man was just trying to take advantage of you again, something I would never do. I can't see any advantage in practicing naked. It bristles my anger that Jericho has muddied these events by requiring nudity in the first place. I feel like if we accept his ridiculous decisions and practice in the nude as well, it's like we're accepting that nudity has become a natural part of the rodeo. And then he would have won. Is that alright with you?"

"Hey, I'd rather not get naked, it's a cold winter morning." But there was some part of me deep down inside that was disappointed; I so wanted to see Parker totally naked, see his unit.

Parker got back on the horse in front of me, and then we started to practice the event. I roped a half dozen calves, each time getting a little more skilled than before. And I practiced getting up and off the horse when I went to tie the calf down. Unlike Syd, Parker was a lot more concerned about helping me on and off the horse. Boyd had been the same way, but in hindsight it became obvious that he was only using it as an excuse to fondle me. Parker pulled me up onto the horse gently, without ever grabbing me anywhere inappropriate.

After Parker was highly impressed with my Calf Roping skills, he suggested we move into Bull Wrestling. But instead of moving to the bull pen, he suggested just pretending the calves were bulls. He had me switch places with him so I had the reins in the front while he was in back. I noticed that as I rode around, Parker always left a few inches between us in the saddle, so I never had any contact with his crotch. And he only grabbed me with his arms when absolutely necessary, and even then it was only the lightest embrace around my sides. This was worlds away from riding with Syd or Boyd.

Parker didn't actually tackle any of the poor calves, he just wanted me to practice the riding part of the event, and he gave me a lot of good pointers to help improve my technique, specifically about using body language to speak to Patches. It was so beneficial having me being trained by him, and I suddenly wished it had been him and only him from the get go instead of me ever involving evil Boyd.

When my riding was looking at its best, Parker asked if we should call it a day. "Should we practice the Flag Pulling event while we have Patches out?" I asked him.

He frowned. "That is the one event that Jericho invented completely on his own, and likewise, it's the one event that has zero merit, in my mind. And I'm afraid I just don't know how to help you improve in that event, because so much of it really is about the communication you have with your partner."

We rode back to the stables, and Parker carefully thanked Patches and put him away. "Riding all morning has made me famished," he said. "And it's about lunch time."

"I hope I didn't wear you out, Parker."

"Actually, working with Glaucia was the much more exhausting task today. But though she lacks experience, thank goodness she's seems to be a very well coordinated individual. After her first day, we already had her performing most of the events at basic competencies. Anyway, the point of me having you suffer through my complaints of hunger was to have an excuse to invite you to lunch in the mess hall."

"I'd love to," I said. "But you know what? Could you meet me there and I'll catch up? I usually take a quick shower after I ride." I pointed at the outdoor bathrooms.

"Oh, you must have read my mind. I'm a fastidiously clean man, and I'd love a good shower as well."

He followed me into the bathroom, opening the door for me. I saw there was a man in the locker room getting dressed, and I suddenly got a worry that it was Boyd, but I quickly saw he looked nothing like the man. I chose a locker and started to undress.

Parker picked a locker as well and started untying his loose, period tie and taking off his suit jacket.

"Hmm, that's odd," I said. "Where are the towels?"

"Sorry, I took the last one," the other man in the locker room said as he tossed his towel in the used bin. "I'll have someone replace them. Should be here by the time ya guys are out."

We thanked him, and he left.

"Well, what to do," Parker said. "This is the usually the moment in which I would wrap a towel around myself, then remove my pants. I'm sure the same is true with you. Of course, I always have the solution to requiring privacy."

He turned himself invisible, and it had been so long since I had seen him do it that it surprised me for a moment. I heard him take off his shoes.

"You look like you're ready to go into the showers, Jake," he said. "Here, I'll face the wall, and won't look while you finish undressing."

"Parker, this is ridiculous."

"You're right," he said. "How can you possibly trust me, when you've been burned by Syd and Boyd so recently? I'll turn visible." I had meant, his Victorian obsession with not having the two of us see each other naked was ridiculous, but I held my tongue.

He became visible again, still clothes, and faced the wall, with his back to me.

"Alright, I'll stay like this until I hear you are safe in your shower stall."

I quickly finished stripping down, and then walked over to the stalls. I decided to take one I had never been in before, the one Boyd had always taken. I knew that on the left wall of the stall, there was that broken plank, and on the right, there was that peephole down at waist level. I hadn't even gotten to see Parker without his shirt on that morning, and I figured occupying that stall would increase my chances of getting to see some part of him.

I turned on my shower and started to wash off. Lo and behold, I heard Parker go into the shower stall on my left. He suddenly appeared though that broken plank, and I could see a close up section of him from the waist up. His tan, muscular upper body, with a light smattering of chest hair, looked absolutely scrumptious.

My heart beat fast for about three seconds before he noticed the broken plank, saw me standing there, and jumped out of the view of it. "Oh my," he said. "I cannot believe how much disrepair these showers have fallen into. I am so, so sorry, Jake. If I had known this wall was falling to pieces, I never would have chosen this shower."

"That's okay."

"I swear I didn't see anything below your waist."

I heard him turn off that shower and walk over to the stall to my right.

"Aw, much improved," he said, closing the door on that stall and turning on his water.

A few minutes later, I was just shampooing my hair when I heard him yell suddenly, and I worried that he had hurt himself, possibly due to his false leg. "Parker, are you alright?"

"Heavens no," he said. "I just noticed that there appears to be a large hole in the wall between us."

I was relieved that he hadn't hurt himself. "Ah, I see."

"Jake, I hope you can trust me when I assure you that I had no knowledge of this hole when I chose this shower, and I swear on my life that I never used the opportunity to spy on you naked. I'll leave this shower right away." I heard him turn off his water.

"You don't have to switch showers again, Parker, it's okay."

"No, it's not, because I want you to be able to bathe in peace without having to worry that I'll be spying on you, or even worse, trying to stick my, um, some part or another through this hole in order to take advantage of you sexually. I swear, I'll have someone come in and make repairs to these walls as soon as they can."

He left that stall.

"Oh good, the towels have come. Don't be alarmed, I'm throwing your towel over your shower door, Jake." He did as he said, then walked into the last stall. "Oh good. I was worried that somehow this stall would offer me some other even more unseemly opportunity to spot you naked, but it looks like this one is actually normal."

"How could that stall possibly offer up an even worse opportunity to spy on me when it's two stalls away from mine? Unless there was a videoscreen in that stall showing off the live image of a hidden camera in my stall or something."

"Given the state of the other stalls, I wouldn't have been surprised."

I finished my shower first, dried off, and went to the locker area to put on the fresh set of clothes I had brought. I heard Parker's shower turn off, and since I was all done, I walked out of the bathroom entirely to give him some privacy, thinking about how Parker really did seem the total opposite of his brother, and how adorable I found him.

Lunch was the same old mess hall food, but somehow it all seemed fresh and new and exciting, and I realized I was just relishing the delightful taste of getting sweet Parker all to myself for a meal. He completely lavished me with his warm personality. We sat long after we had finished eating, chatting and laughing and really connecting, and I wished I could spend every meal in Mareshead with him.

He looked at the time. "I'd truly love to stay here catching up with you all day, Jake, and I wanted to thank you for making my lunch so delightful. But I'm afraid I have to cut it short, I promised Meredith I'd ask you to join me in her shop for a fitting."

"Oh, um, I'm not sure if you'll really want me there," I said.

"No, come along," he said. "Sometimes my prosthetic leg necessitates sizing my pant legs differently, and I'd like you to see what it looks like, just to make sure nothing seems out of place."

"I don't think your pant legs will be an issue, but alright."

"Are you sure this is the full extant of the tuxedo?" Parker asked from his changing stall, while Meredith, Cornelius, and I waited outside.

"Perfectly," Meredith said impatiently. "Come on out."

"If you insist," he said.

He stepped out of the changing booth, holding his hands in front of himself, blocking his nudity. Wow, he looked so incredibly hot. I realized that it was the first time I had seen him completely shirtless, and boy, was I thankful to finally see it. His frame was built just like Syd's, which was of course a great compliment. Sure, the hat made him look ridiculous, but the white straps on his bis actually accentuated his arm muscles, and the white pasties on his nipples, though silly, drew attention to his muscular mounds of pecs, covered by a thin coat of his blonde hair, the tiniest bit lighter in shade than Syd's.

He hadn't been able to put on the platform boots with his false leg, so he stood in front of us at a more normal height. The jock left nothing of his taut bubble butt to the imagination, and he used both hands to cover his unit in front of him modestly, though even so I could still see glimpses of it occasionally, and it looked to be massive. I found myself wishing I could see it unobstructed.

"Jake, I didn't know you were still in here. Please look away. I don't want you seeing me like this. All this skin will only debauch and needlessly traumatize you. This outfit is anything but gentlemanly. Your eyes will be seared with a painful image you won't be able to displace, I'm afraid."

"Alright, I'm turning around." I did as he asked. "I didn't see anything, it was just a blur."

"Good."

"How do you like it?" Cornelius asked.

"Well, to be frank, it's rather ghastly," he said. "I don't think I'm nearly attractive enough to pull this outfit off. Nobody wants to see a one-legged man in this much detail."

"You're wrong," I said. "Parker, you're a sexy guy, false leg and all."

"Yes, take it from me, a straight woman," Meredith said. "You've got a very pleasing body, Parker. But you are not going to be able to walk through the entire night with both hands in front of you like that. You'll be forced to lose your modesty at some point, so might as well be now. Just pull them away so I can make sure the hole is fitting properly."

"I'd rather not, Meredith. I can assure you it fits fine."

"I used all the same measurements as your brother and father, since you three are supposed to be basically identical."

"Yes, and nothing needs to be adjusted. I thought at first that perhaps this outfit was a tad bit too casual for the occasion. But now I see that not only do I have a bowtie, this little elephant friend down here has a bowtie as well. Very, very classy," Parker joked. "Wouldn't want the elephant to not feel formal enough, would we?"

I laughed, wishing I could see Parker's second tie with my own eyes.

"Okay, go ahead and change," Meredith said.

After Parker had put his suit back on, we said our goodbyes to Cornelius and Meredith, and we walked through the halls in the direction of the Great Room.

"Hey Parker, did you ever tell Annie about the truth about Syd and I?" I asked after looking around to make sure we were alone.

"No. I promised not to tell anyone else, and I kept my promise."

"Sorry, Parker, when you made that promise, I had no idea you were married. It must be uncomfortable to keep something like that from your wife, especially as close as you two are."

"If you want to tell her, I'll leave it up to you."

"I'm so sorry again about that horrible outfit," I said. "I had no idea you'd have to wear that thing."

"I had to remind myself that the foolish outfit was irrelevant, since there won't really be a wedding to wear it to," he said.

"I think that's why Syd wasn't that upset over wearing it as well."

"Well, speak of the devil, there he is," Parker said as Syd turned a corner in front of us and waved to us, looking panicked.

"In Syd's case, that's not just an expression," I said, causing Parker to chuckle.

"Hey lil' bro, ya got any extra rubbers you could spare? I must have used my last one up yesterday, `cause my box is suddenly empty."

"Uh, rubbers? Are you're talking about condoms?" Parker asked.

"No, rubber bands. Of course fuckin' condoms. Ya got any?"

"No, I never keep those. What good would they do an infertile man in a monogamous relationship?"

"Formerly infertile," I said.

"Ha, right," Parker said. "But they should have some in the stores downstairs."

"No, I just checked there. They're out, and they say it'll be a few days before they get more, can you believe it?"

"Well, maybe you'll just have to be celibate for a few days," I said.

"Ha, ha, yeah, good one Jakey. I'll figure some other work around."

"Please don't tell me any workaround will involve putting yourself at risk," Parker said.

The three of us headed into the Great Room, to cross paths with Jericho walking with his usual entourage, as well as with poor little Lewis towards the front door. "We've got to teach you to ride a horse like a man," Jericho was saying.

"Please not again, father," little Lewis said, probably on account of not wanting to suffer through a semi-abusive lesson with his father when he was perfectly happy with Polly.

"Well, how else you gonna get around?" he asked back. "Ya think yer gonna get a stagecoach to ride you round all yer life?"

"Can't I just drive a car?" asked Lewis.

Jericho stopped in his tracks and spun around to face the boy. "What did you just say, boy?" he asked.

"I asked why I can't just drive a car, father," he said.

"You been in cars before?"

"Yes."

Jericho grabbed the boy around the collar. "Where'd you drive in these cars, boy?"

Lewis shook his head. "I, I don't remember," he said, catching his mistake.

Jericho lifted his little body up with both hands and shook him like a tiny doll. "You stop fuckin' lying to me, boy!" he yelled.

Parker moved over towards them. "You set him down, Jericho," Parker said. "Set him down right now. You can't interrogate him, he's your son. You can't lay a hand on him, and don't you forget it."

Jericho glared with needles at Parker, but set Lewis down just the same. "Yer right, I ain't allowed to hurt the boy," he said. "But there's no such rule pertaining to the slave in the cage. Guards, unlock her, and bring her to me."

The naked slave of the day was removed from the cage and brought to Jericho. "No, please, don't hurt me," she begged.

Jericho pulled out his huge hunting knife from his pants and put it threateningly against her thigh. "Lewis, tell me the truth, or I cut off this women's leg, slowly as I can."

"Please no, please no," the woman said, trying to back away from him.

"Parker, maybe you'll find some use for a leg, huh?" Jericho asked. "It can be your new fake one. More lifelike than any of that shit my sister gives you."

"You're a monster, Jericho," Parker said.

"Lewis, tell me the truth, did yer mother raise you out there in the modern world? Did she teach you the Old West way, or something else?"

Lewis said nothing, and just stood there, afraid, tears pouring from his eyes.

"Better not say anything," Syd told him. "That girl's gonna die sooner or later regardless of what you do."

"But how can you really ask Lewis to make that choice?" I asked.

"Okay, I'm cutting it off," Jericho said, starting to dig his knife into the girl's skin.

She creamed in pain. "Please, please just tell him whatever he wants to hear!" she begged.

"Okay, yes, yes, I'm sorry, father," Lewis said. "I'm sorry. I didn't know anything about the Old West until mother knew she had to bring me here. I'm sorry, please stop hurting her."

Jericho fumed, and he threw the girl back in the cage. "Guards, bring my lovely wife down for an impromptu discussion about child-rearing strategies."

A couple guards zipped upstairs.

"Jericho, what are you really going to do?" Parker asked.

"I'm going to fucking kill her," he fumed.

"No!" Lewis yelled.

"You can't kill her, she's your wife," Parker said.

"I don't care."

Parker looked at me. "Jake, do me a favor and run and get Cornelius as quickly as you can," he said.

I nodded, turned around, and ran out of the Great Room to Cornelius's office. "You're needed in the Great Room," I said. "Right away." I told him what had happened.

By the time I had brought Cornelius into the Great Room, the vampire guards already had Glaucia pinned on her knees before her furious husband tyrant.

Jericho pulled out his knife. "You know what? You haven't brought one iota of happiness into my life since you delivered my boy into this world. But now, I'm gonna take such a special pleasure, slowly spilling yer insides all over this floor while I drink your traitorous blood and fuck yer ass."

"I'm so sorry, Mom," Lewis said.

"It's not your fault, Lewis, it's mine," she said.

Cornelius came rushing up to then. "Mr. Governor, you are way beyond your scope here."

"She lied to me. She deserves to die."

"She has lied, yes," Cornelius said. "But being honest was never one of her marriage vows. She is still your wife, and because of that lofty position, you still cannot do anything to harm her."

"This is idiotic," Jericho said. "What use is she to anyone? She's a failure as a mother, a failure as a wife. She deserves to die."

"You cannot kill her without being stripped of your Governorship, sir," Cornelius said. "Is that the choice you're making now?"

Jericho screamed in frustration, and then put his knife away. "Fine. Tell me, meek Cornelius. What is a suitably tame punishment for her deceptions?"

"Perhaps a week of house arrest, in her apartment, assuming she is brought all the necessary provisions to keep her going."

Parker nodded. "That seems fair," he said.

"Not long enough. I want her locked up until the day the two of us compete in the rodeo," Jericho said.

"That's fine, Mr. Governor," she said. "Come on, Lewis."

"No, Lewis is no longer allowed access to her apartment," Jericho said. "I've made the mistake of letting women raise my children, and Lewis will no longer be subject to a women's taint. From now on, Lewis is to be given his own room, a man's room."

Lewis started to cry.

"No, you can't keep my son away from me for that entire time, that is just cruel," Glaucia said. "Please, he's all I have in life."

"Guards, throw her in her apartment, and let no one in our out until the rodeo event."

"Please, just let me hug my son goodbye," she said, crying. "Just let me say goodbye."

But the guards pulled her out of the room.

"Now, about those horses, Lewis," Jericho said, pulling his crying son out the front door.

"Just another wonderful day in the Logan family," Syd said. "Anyone up for a beer?

Parker and I looked askance at him. "Don't you feel the least bit lousy for Glaucia?" I asked him.

"Not really," he said. "Nobody deserves what Jericho dishes out, but seems to me she was stupid enough to raise that kid in modern times and expect to get away with it. Come on, Jericho may be the biggest dick in the world, but he ain't stupid."

"And what about Lewis?" Parker asked him. "He is a blameless child, yet he'll be affected by all of this more than anyone. Don't you have any compassion for him?"

Syd shrugged. "Look, of course I feel for the little tyke."

"Here comes the `but,'" I predicted.

"But, it's not like this incident would have been the one fucked up moment that messed up an otherwise stellar childhood. Look, let's not tiptoe around the elephant in the room here. That kid is fucked no matter if I sit here crying about him or not. We all knew as soon as he came here, there was no way he was getting out of this place with any of his sanity intact. Hell, who are the only normal vampires around here? You, Annie, maybe Cornelius, and me."

"I wouldn't go so far as to label you as `normal,' Syd," I said.

He ignored me. "None of us were raised in this house. Little kids don't belong here, period."

Parker gave him a mean look.

"Syd, you idiot," I said. "You just basically told Parker that his son is going to grow up psychologically damaged."

"Hold on now, that kid's gonna be the one exception," Syd said. "Because he has two excellent parents who are never going to leave his side. And, more importantly, because Jericho doesn't give a shit about that kid, unlike Lewis."

Parker's anger didn't exactly seem appeased, but he dropped the subject. "Annie and I will take turns looking after Lewis when Jericho isn't around. You two want to help out as well, until they let Glaucia out again?

"Of course," I said.

"I'll let Jakey take my share of the babysitting duties," Syd said. "He's got all the maternal instincts in our relationship, I'm afraid."

"Come on, Syd, kids love you," Parker said. "It wouldn't kill you to have a meaningful relationship with a human being who you weren't trying to sleep with."

"Yes it would, actually."

There was no point in arguing with Syd about it, so Parker said goodbye and Syd and I headed back up to his room.

"Guess what I did this morning?" he asked as soon as we were alone in the hallway.

"Well, if it's like every other morning, you sat on your lazy butt all day long, admiring your naked self in the mirror."

"Well, no shit. But after that, I made a call to the same doctor that inspected me when we came through at the West Territory Gate quarantine, remember him?"

"Yes."

"I asked him to tell me the lowdown on little miss new girl, Enid. Turns out she's even newer to the Territory than I thought, just coming out of the quarantine a couple days ago."

"I'm sorry, why am I supposed to care about this?" I asked.

"Well, it turns out she passed all the medical tests with flying colors. No STDs, nothin.'"

"Oh, now I'm starting to see why you bothered to call this doctor. You really are something, Syd."

"Ain't I, though? Here's the best part: believe it or not, she's a virgin. Doc checked her hymen and everything to be certain. And she's also got her tubes tied `cause she doesn't want kids. So the doctor said she was basically the ideal fuck toy."

"Wow, something tells me this doctor hasn't been to any of his required ethics courses," I said. "It's sick and disturbing that he would share these personal details of his patient with you."

"Why you always gotta take a shit on my rainbows, Jakey?" he asked. "I'm sharing the best news I had in a long time, and you don't give a damn. You were all sunshine and giggles when Annie told us she was pregnant."

"Oh yes, her good news is really on the same degree of significance as your good news. Whatever is the matter with me?"

We walked into Syd's apartment, and I lay down on my settee, shutting my eyes. I tried to block out my annoyance for Syd so I could really let myself feel sorry for Glaucia and Lewis. Just when it started to work, there came a knock at the door.

"Come in," Syd said, without knowing who it was.

The door opened, and Enid stepped through, wearing the exact same thing I had last seen her in: a towel around her waist, a bra, and a single heel.

"Hey darlin,' come on in and brighten this room up," Syd said. "Beware though, Jake's in a bitter mood today. Wait a second, Jake is a bitter mood every fuckin' day. Guess that just makes him bitter."

"I need my clothes I left," she said. "They're the only ones I have."

"Have you been wearing nothing but a towel all day long?" I asked, feeling bad for her. "Why didn't you come earlier?"

"What do you mean, earlier? I just rolled out of bed, man." She was carrying three beers.

"Oh, that's uncharacteristically polite of you, did you bring one for each of us?" I asked.

"Pssh, hell no," she said. "These are all for me."

"That's my kind of girl, right there," Syd said. He tossed her the lost shoe, and then dangled her underwear, which had so little material to them, they looked more like a lacy hair tie than anything meant to cover ones privates. "You may have to earn these back," he said.

"Oh, I will cowboy," she said, straddling him, making out with him on the bed.

"You might want to reconsider that notion," I told her. "Little prince charming over there was just telling me how he called your quarantine doctor and leaned a bunch of personal details about you."

"Jakey!" Syd scolded. "Way to cock-block! You are just as bad as Parker! You are totally fired as my wing man!"

"I'm sorry, I must have forgotten exactly when it was I signed on to be your wing man."

"Psssshhh, I don't give a fuck about him checking up on me anyway," she said. "You could have just asked me, though."

"So, you're a virgin?" he asked. "But you seem like such a sexual dynamo."

"Oh, I am," she said. "I'm just really, really picky. No guy has ever done it for me until you came along, cowboy. I want you to be my first."

He smiled wickedly. "I'd love to. But I ain't got any condoms, is that okay?"

"Of course!" she said. "I just made it through the quarantine, where they told me I was all clear. And I haven't been with anyone since then but you. Plus, I got my tubes tied `cause I knew ever since I was a girl that I never wanted kids."

"The whole world will be thankful for that one," I said. "To both of you, in fact."

"I am so excited," Syd said. "It's been like a century since I went without condoms, I've been wearing them back since they were made from animal parts. This is the first time I could ever be sure I'd not get any STD or knock some girl up. Jakey over there still won't give up his sweet ass to me, even though he can't get STDs, right Jakey?"

I groaned in response.

"I can't wait any longer, darlin,'" Syd said. "I need your love right now."

"Oh yeah, I'm ready too," she said. "But can you put your cowboy hat back on? I think it's hot."

"Sure, baby, I wouldn't fuck any other way," he said, and he trotted into the closet to retrieve it.

I got up. "Well, that's my cue to leave before I start retching my lunch up," I said, heading towards the door.

Before I could reach it, it came bursting open, and Rose stood there, in just a silk robe. "Syd, I'm ready for another round of hot rubbing," she said as she walked in. Then she saw Enid naked on Syd's bed, and she started to scream. "Syd, Syd, you little devil! You stupid little cheat!"

"No, no, you've got the wrong idea," Enid said.

"Oh, come on, don't try to pretend like you and Syd are only friends," she said. "You're lying naked in his bed with your legs up in the air!"

"Okay, you're right," Enid said. "You caught me in the middle of fucking. But you got half of your equation wrong, lady. I'm fucking Jake here," she said, pointing to me. "Syd isn't even here."

Rose looked at me suspiciously. "I thought you were only into being topped by big, gruff men?" Rose asked, crossing her arms.

I hesitated for a moment. "Oh, well, Enid here is inspiring me to branch out," I said.

"That's right, baby," Enid said, pulling me towards her on the bed.

"But how come he's fully clothed at the moment?" Rose asked.

"Because I always make him eat me out before I let him screw me," Enid said. "Get back to work, Jake!" She pulled my face into her disgusting vagina, though I refused to open my mouth.

"Eew, that's just gross and unsanitary," Rose said. "Is Syd around somewhere?"

"We don't keep track of that guy," Enid said. "You should look around the house for him. Or, maybe he's outside."

"If he comes back, tell him I'm waiting for him," Rose said. "And if I can't find him, I might come back in a little bit."

"And next time, knock please!" Enid said.

"Oh, I will," she said. "I don't want any more images of you two human animals in bed breeding seared into my corneas." She slammed the door.

"That was so not kosher," I said angrily as jumped off Enid and started wiping my face clean.

"Hey, it saved your ass, didn't it?" she asked.

"Yeah, well, I can think of a hundred classier ways you could have saved my ass," I said as I locked the door.

"Don't take it personally," Syd said, coming out of his hiding spot in the closet. "No matter how ingenious my lies are, Jakey always finds a way to feel ashamed or degraded. It's not his fault; he has had a religious upbringing, where they probably told him that he'd go to hell just for lookin' at his own dick."

"That is so not true," I said. "Now, I'm sorry, but you have to leave, Enid."

"What do you mean? I haven't even gotten fucked yet."

"Well, you can't be here," I said. "Rose could come back at any time. She's insanely jealous, and she could come back here looking for Syd over and over again. You'll just have to have to have sex in your room."

"Jakey, she shares a room with three total strangers," Syd said.

"Well, I doubt that will bother her, seeing how she seems to have no qualms about have sex in front of me."

"Pssshhh, I don't give a fuck where we fuck," she said. "Let's just get on with it."

"Oh gee, I think you two were made for each other," I said.

"I'd fuck her silly in her own room if I could Jakey, but use your brain for a second. One of her roommates could report to Jericho that it didn't look like the two of us were as passionate lovers as we claimed to be."

"Unless Jake came to my room too and we did a three way," Enid said.

"Yeah, I like the way you think," Syd said.

"I hate the way you think! I don't know what makes you think I'll agree to a three-way when I won't even do a two-way willingly with you, Syd. No, she leaves the room now because Rose could come knocking, and you don't have sex anywhere else."

"Fine, Jakey," Syd said. "If you want to offer up your body and blood to me everyday, we can send Enid on her way."

"You know I would never agree to that, Syd."

"Then here's the compromise. Enid and me have sex in here."

"Great, so it's just a matter of time before Rose walks in on you and I get executed, sounds like a fun plan."

"Now, hold on to my cock, Jakey, I wasn't finished yet. We'll have sex in here, but whenever Enid's in here with me, you'll have to be here too, ready to call out to Rose whenever she knocks on that door, telling her you're having sex with Enid and I'm not around. She'll leave us be, feeling disgusted, and we're all winners."

"Oh, that's brilliant," Enid said.

"Yeah, everyone's happy except me, who's stuck here listening to you guys have sex," I said. "Maybe I'll get some earplugs," I said.

"No you won't Jakey," he said. "You'll need to be listening to make sure there's no knocking at the door."

"Alright, fine, but you two have to agree not to touch me again."

"Sure, Jakey," Syd said.

"Now that you have your hat and boots on, let's get to fucking," Enid said, wrapping her naked legs around him on the bed.

"How romantic," I said, and I shut myself in the bathroom. I was feeling dirty, so I started to wash my face off. Even when it was certainly clean, I just kind of hung out in the bathroom for maybe ten minutes, not wanting to be around them when they were doing who knows what to each other.

"Jakey, get back in here already!" Syd called. "You can't be locked up in the bathroom when Rose comes back!"

I sighed, and came out of the bathroom, moving towards my settee, picking up one of my books to read.

"Yeah, devour my huge goddamn dick, darlin," Syd was saying as he face fucked Enid.

She pulled off of him. "I want that hot fuckstick up my pussy now, cowboy," she said, lying down on the bed on her back and putting her legs up.

He got down and started licking around her vagina. "What do you think, darling,' want my huge cock up yer hot pussy?"

"Yeah, cowboy. Stop all this ridiculous foreplay and stick your cock inside me already!"

"Oh yeah, that sweet pussy's all mine." He slapped his huge dickhead a couple times against her vagina, sending precum slapping onto her. "Yeah, I gotta go in. Alright, darlin,' here come the magic lovestick."

"Come on, cowboy, don't make my wet cunt wait any longer than it already has!"

He started to stick his huge mushroom tip into her, the thing was totally covered with spit and precum.

"Yeah, goddamn, that's hot," she moaned.

He pushed in until his whole head was in, and then groaned madly. "Oh, that feels so, so good," Syd moaned. "To be directly touching you, it feels like I've never really had sex until now."

"Yeah cowboy, spear me with that weapon," Enid said as Syd pushed more and more of himself into her.

"Oh, lord, I smell blood," he said, his fangs suddenly popping out. "Oh, fuck, I know why."

"Oh, oooh, oh, I think I just broke my Hymen. Sweet!"

He pulled his dick out of her, and it was covered with blood.

"Oh, that's so, so hot," he said, kneeling down to her vagina and sticking his tongue inside her, lapping up the blood, his fangs more erect than ever.

"Give me that dick again, cowboy."

He stuck his dick back inside her, groaning with pleasure. "Fuck, that feels so, so good. Condoms be damned."

"Yeah, fuck the hell outta me! Give me that fucking hungry cock!"

"Yeah, my cock's doing damage, darlin!"

There came a sudden, sharp knock at the door. Syd and Enid looked over at me. "Who is it?" I called.

"It's Rose again," she said. "Is it all clear for me to come in?"

"Absolutely not!" Enid said. "If you saw what Jake and I were doing in here, it would scar you for life!"

"Eww, disgusting. Well, when Syd comes back, tell him I'm waiting for him in my room."

"Okay, Rose," I said.

"Okay, she's gone now," Syd said. "And my dick needs riding."

"Give it to me, cowboy."

"Oh yeah, going deep as I can, darling."

I focused on my book, trying to block them out. They went on like that for a long time, before he bit her on the throat as he continued to fuck her, and the two of them orgasmed as loudly as two people had ever climaxed.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, what are you doing?" she asked.

"Just holding you."

"Yuck, what kind of pussy cuddles after sex in this day and age, anyway? That was really hot, so let's not ruin it with the mushy stuff. I need some new beers." She threw on her bra, panties, and shoes, and left the room.

"How does it feel to be nothing but a degraded sex slave, Syd?" I asked him.

"Mmm, feels pretty damn sweet, actually. You wanna come over here and cuddle with me while I take a nap?"

"Nope," I said, flipping a page in my book.

About five minutes into the serenity, another knock came at the door. "Who is it?" I asked.

"Rose. Is Syd there yet?"

"Hi Rosie," Syd said, getting up with a yawn and putting a towel around his waist. He opened the door and gave her a disarming smile.

"I've been looking for you everywhere," she said. "Where have you been? I'm ready for some afternoon loving."

"Well, funny story, Rose," he said. "I noticed earlier that my stash of condoms were all gone. Seems Jakey managed to use two dozen of them in one day, didn't you, Jakey?"

"Mmm," I said limply.

"I knew I wanted for sure to use at least one with you today Rosie, so I've been going round to everyone I know, begging. But none of them have given me jack, them bastards."

"Why don't you just get more at the stores?" she asked.

"I went there first. They're out for a couple days until they get a delivery. Surely `cause they've never had anyone who burned through them as quickly as Jake has, they said." He shook his head sadly. "I want nothing more than some lovemaking with you right now, Rosie darlin,' but it can't happen until we get more rubbers, I'm sorry."

Rose's face turned mean, and she scowled at me. "I blame you for this, you dirty little human whore," she said.

I pretended not to hear her. I couldn't bear to apologize to her for something I never did, and I knew any snappy comeback I might have considered saying would only get me in trouble.

"Sorry again, Rosie," Syd said as she turned around and left, her face filled with aggravation.

It was about four o'clock, so I headed down for a workout at the gym, and when I came back to the apartment a couple hours later, the room was empty, so I took a bath and got dressed. I went down to the mess hall to eat a late dinner. I found Parker, Annie, and Lewis sitting together eating, so I happily joined them.

It was clear that Annie and Parker were trying every trick they had to keep Lewis's spirits up, but he remained pretty solemn. As I finished my food, I offered to look after Lewis for the rest of the night, hoping to give the two current babysitters some much needed time off.

But just as we were making arrangements, Syd showed up out of nowhere. "Hi everyone," he said. "Jakey, I need you in our room right away."

"He was just about to take over as babysitter," Annie said sternly.

"Well, sorry, he can't tonight," Syd said, pulling me out of my chair. "It's kind of an emergency."

When he pulled me out of the mess hall, I asked him what was going on as we were approaching the privacy of his apartment.

"Ain't ya glad I just saved you from boring as shit babysitting?" he asked.

"No," I said. "I was fine with the babysitting."

"Well, this is a whole lot more entertaining," he said, opening his bedroom door and escorting me inside.

"It's about fucking time," said Enid, who was naked on the bed, waiting.

"Again?!" I asked.

"I can't help it, Jakey, I'm a horny guy," he said as he started to rip his clothes off.

I sighed and grabbed my book again, sitting on the settee.

Their sex took even longer that time than before, only this time when they orgasmed, Syd didn't bite her; I guessed he had already taken enough blood for one day. After they were done, Syd fell asleep immediately, looking like he had fallen into a coma, while Enid cleaned up and left.

It wasn't even a minute before there was another knock on the door, one that was familiarly uptight and demanding. "Syd, wake up, it's Rose at the door," I whispered.

He stirred. "Yeah, Rose?" he asked.

"Guess what I found?"

"What's that, darlin?'"

"Condoms."

He looked stunned. "How'd you find those?"

"I have my ways," she said. "I expect you in my room in ten minutes, all ready to go."

"I'll be there," he said, and I could hear her footsteps leaving the door.

"Fuck, what am I gonna do?" he asked, jumping off the bed. "I can't have sex this soon."

"Oh, what a tangled web you weave, Syd," I said, smirking.

"Don't laugh at me, Jakey," he said. "If I can't go pleasure that woman in ten minutes, you're the one who will suffer."

He was right. "Okay, I'm starting a bath for you," I said, rushing over to the tub and turning the water on, getting it soapy. "The worst thing you could do is to show up smelling like Enid."

"Yer right," he said, jumping in the tub. As the water continued to fill, he started to frantically wash all of his parts. "Help me scrub, Jakey!" he said.

"Damnnit. My mouth tastes like her pussy juice and her hymen blood. Grab me my toothbrush, quick."

I ran over to the sink and stuck a gob of toothpaste on his brush, then handed it to him in the tub. "Help me scrub, Jakey!" he said, sticking his toothbrush in his mouth.

"Ah, geez," I said. He was kneeling in the tub, which was only filled with a couple of inches of water at most. I jumped in the bath in front of him, and I grabbed the bar of soap. I started to wash where his buff traps met his clavicle, then moved onto his round shoulder, my hands moving as quickly as I possibly could go.

I washed the cleft where his left shoulder met his bis, scrubbed his bulbous biceps and triceps, then washed his left elbow and furry forearm. I washed his hand well too, figuring there could be all sorts of gross stuff on it.

"Don't neglect my pit, Jakey," he said. "I don't want to show up to Rose's all sweaty."

He put his left hand behind his head, putting his pit right in my face. It was totally damp with sweat. I wrinkled my nose and started to wash it carefully.

"Get my other arm," he said, grabbing the toothbrush in his left hand and sticking his right hand behind his head. I washed that armpit as well, and then he lowered it to his side.

I washed his right hand and forearm, then his muscular upper arm and shoulder.

"Get my pecs, Jakey," he said. "She was licking those a whole lot."

"Alright, alright."

I started soaping his huge right pec, dampening the blonde fur on it. I washed his right nipple, then moved to the right, soaping up the tight cleft down the center of his chest. I used both hands to quickly wash down the entirety of his cut abs, then looked down unexcitedly at his dangling dick.

"Go ahead, Jakey," he said. "If anything is gonna give my activities away, it's that fucker."

"You could do this part yourself, you know."

"I'm still up here brushing my teeth! Ain't even brushed my tongue off yet."

"Fine."

I started to soap down his pubes, which were totally soaked with sweat and I didn't want to know what else. I ran my fingers through that wet, sandy bush, getting it good and clean.

His huge dick was dangling down in front of me, still in that post-coitus phase where he was dripping some remaining cum and swollen, though no longer hard. I started my way down the shaft from the base, noticing there was still some blood on it, which was absolutely disgusting to me. I washed it damn well until it glistened.

I worked my way down the veiny shaft until I finally got to his head. I started to scrub his swollen mushroom, carefully washing away the thick cum that was sticking to it.

As I washed, he leaked some more cum from his piss slit. "Syd, how long do you leak like this?" I asked, concerned.

"Should be `bout done, Jakey," he said. "Look, milk the thing down, make sure it's all outta there."

I moved my hands back up to the base of his dick and squeezed the thing in my hands. I pulled my hands down slowly, moving over his many inches, milking down the thing like an udder (that is, if I had ever milked a cow before, which I had not). When I milked it down to its head, a huge amount of cum started oozing out of the piss slit into the water. It worked.

"Attaboy," he said. "Now, shake me off good and well."

I shook his floppy head in my hands sharply until the last bit of cum went flying off.

"My balls, Jakey. Don't forget those."

I started to soap up his scrotum, which had tons of drying cum on it that was hard to get off. After those where good and clean, I started washing down his legs.

He spit his toothpaste into the bath water, threw his brush aside, and stood up in the water. "Gimme that," he said, taking the soap from me as he started to wash his face, then his back.

I started to get out of the tub.

"Nah-uh," he said. "Not till ya get my feet clean."

His I scrubbed his huge feet with the suds I had leftover on my hands, and by then, he had finished washing. He laid down in the water and started to splash himself clean.

He rinsed off one last time and jumped out of the tub, into the closet. "I need you to help me, here," he said, and I ran in after him. He was fast at work getting his cowboy shirt on. "Help me get these on," he said, nodding towards his jeans on the floor.

I grabbed the jeans, got his feet in the holes, and pulled them up quickly. Problem was, his dick was hanging down over the outside, so I had to pull them down again, use my hand to stuff his huge unit inside while I pulled the jeans up. I buttoned them, then put his boots on.

"There, you look normal now," I said as he put his hat on.

"Perfect," he said, walking towards the front door. He opened it, walked out, and shut it again.

I took a deep breath, grabbed my book, and walked back to my settee to curl up, when Syd came bursting through the door again.

"Did you forget something?" I asked.

"Yes," he said, grabbing his crotch. "I seem to have misplaced my libido, Jakey. I can't get hard. If I could even wait just an hour, I'd be good to go. But it's too soon."

"You can't waste anymore time here," I said. "You have to go to Rose's place, right now. I'm sure you'll find some inspiration as soon as you are romancing her."

He shook his head. "Nope, she doesn't like any of the preliminaries, Jakey. She just gets straight to the sex every time. Or, in her case, the non-sex. And if I go in there with a spaghetti dick when she's used to gettin' a rock hard cock up until this point, she's gonna know something is up."

I glared at him. "What exactly are you suggesting I do?"

"I need ya to be my fluffer, Jakey."

I shook my head. "No way," I said. "Does it look like I majored in fluffing in school? You can get Enid to do that for you."

"She's not here, or else I would. I ain't got time to go around searching for her, no how. Rose is expecting me like five minutes ago."

"One bitten, twice shy, Syd," I said. "I seem to recall all too vividly an incident when you lied to me just to get me give you oral. I'm not making the same mistake just to have you laugh at my gullibility the second it's over."

"I ain't lying this time, Jakey. I swear."

"Somehow I think your word isn't worth crap," I said.

"Fine, if that's how it's gonna be, there's no point going over there," he said, jumping back on his bed, relaxing.

I yelled, absolutely furious with him. "Fine, I'll do what I can," I said. "But I'm not fluffing you ever again, you hear me? That means from now on, you'll have to be smart about being ready to go whenever she calls, understand?"

"Yes, I got it," he said, jumping back off the bed and standing up. "Okay, so you have two options here. You can get my dick going through manual stimulation, or if we could cut you enough to bleed, that would get me going the fastest."

"I can't believe this, but I'm choosing the former," I said, getting off the settee.

"Ah, Jakey, I knew you'd choose my dick if given the option. Ain't nothing you like more."

"One more comment like that, Syd, and the deal's off."

"Christ, Jakey, alright. Here, try and get me going with your hand."

He ripped down his jeans and pulled out his soft dick. I grabbed it in my hand and started to jack it off.

"Goddamn, Jakey, slow down a bit there, yer about to rip my unit clean off."

"Are you really going to criticize my jerking off technique right now, Syd?"

"Just show little Syd a little lovin,'" he said.

"I'm not really in a loving mood."

"Here, let me show ya," he put his hand on mine and forced me to slow down. "That's it. Use the other hand too. Really get into it."

I used both hands to massage his giant penis as tenderly as I could summon.

"It ain't workin," he said after a minute. "Yer gonna have to use yer mouth, Jakey."

"Are you sure?"

"Damn sure."

I groaned unhappily, then started to lick the dickhead of his soft unit.

"Mmm, that feels good, Jakey, but lemme feel yer lips around the rim of my head."

I did as he asked, taking the whole pink head in my mouth.

"Don't just set it there, make love to it with yer tongue."

I started to lick away at his mushroom head, feeling more and more degraded.

"Now, take me all the way in, Jakey."

I carefully slipped his whole shaft into my mouth, going slowly, inch by inch, so as not to choke on its huge girth. When my nose hit his pubes and his balls slapped my chin, I felt him start to harden.

"Oh yeah, that is so, so hot, Jakey. Ya know how to take care of a man's dick real well."

As he hardened, I pulled off his dick. "That's it," I said. "You got over your libido problem. Now go."

"Alright, I'm gone," he said, stuffing his hard dick in his pants and buttoning it up. "Better hurry before this sucker wears off."

As soon as he was gone, I stormed into the bathroom and washed my hands and brushed my teeth furiously.

JANUARY 15h

That morning when I woke up and jumped out of bed to get ready for Cornelius's morning session with me, I was surprised to find Enid had come into our room sometime during the night, and she and Syd were having sex in Syd's bed, clearly thinking that I was fast asleep.

"Oops," I said. "I'm just getting dressed. Don't mind me."

"Are you kidding me here?" Enid asked. "If anything, Syd only fucks harder when you're watching." Syd's thrusts went faster. "Ah, see?"

After I was done getting ready, I headed towards the exit, then stopped. "Wait, what if Rose comes after I leave?" I asked.

"You can't leave, Jakey," Syd said, his words peppered with grunts. "Not `til Enid leaves."

"You have to go now, then," I said. "Or I'll be late."

"You kidding me here?" asked Enid. "I haven't orgasmed yet," she said.

"And there's nothing I hate worse than my morning fuck getting interrupted," Syd said. "Sit down for a few minutes."

"I don't have a few minutes," I said.

"What's the worst that will happen if you are a few minutes late?" he asked me. "'Sides the likelihood of Cornelius dying of shock?"

"I will be very, very agitated," I said.

"Well, me and Enid's pleasure ranks a lot higher than your good mood."

With a huff, I sat back down on the settee and waited. And waited. And waited. Finally, after ten minutes passed, I said, "Holy crap, can you hurry it up already?"

"I think so," Syd said, bucking his hips even faster, almost going at supernatural speeds.

"Ohh, I like that," Enid said.

But it still took twenty more minutes until he finally bit her and the two of them climaxed together, moaning and hollering and digging fingernails into one another's backs.

"Alright, alright, now go already!" I said to Enid.

"Shit, I'm leaving," she said, casually putting her underwear back on and walking out the door. I followed her out and jogged down to Cornelius's.

"You're quite a bit tardy today, Mr. Groves," he said to me as he let me into his office. "I don't have much patience for being kept waiting."

"I'm real sorry, but it wasn't my fault," I said. "It was Syd. He was, um..."

I remembered that the truth certainly wouldn't work for Cornelius.

"...He was misbehaving."

Cornelius's face went red. "I think I can understand what sort of misbehaving you're thinking of. When it comes to young love, I shouldn't ask any questions when you show up late for appointments," he said.

"Ah, I guess not," I said, also embarrassed.

"Now, there's the troubling issue at hand," Cornelius said. "Glaucia has been sentenced to room arrest for too much time. As such, I'm afraid she won't be able to execute her functions as your bridesmaid. You'll have to pick a late alternate."

"Oh, right," I said. "How about Giggles?"

"She's gone for what's likely to be months, Mr. Groves."

"Oh yeah. Well, Annie?"

He nodded. "Annie would be lovely. I'll have Meredith fit her for her gown without delay." He looked at his watch. "Speaking of Meredith, we're overdue to be at her store. Walt and Ted have come in just for the morning."

When we walked into Meredith's, she was the only person in view, though I could hear the changing stalls alive with activity. After a moment, Ted came out of his changing room and looked at me.

"Hi, I'm Jake, Syd's fiancé," I said, extending my hand.

"I will not shake your hand, sir," he said. "Because I know you are responsible for this disaster of a tux. Look at me!"

Ted was a short man in his 40's, whose skin looked like it hadn't ever seen the light of day, as if he had been born and raised underground in some post-apocalyptic tunnel dwelling society. He was scrawny as well, making the barely-there outfit look particularly lousy on him. To make matters worse, he was fairly poorly endowed, making the elephant part of the jock look like the punch line of some cruel joke designed to personally humiliate him.

"You know you'll be thrown in prison for two years if you refuse to comply with the outfit selected for you," Cornelius said.

"I know that," he said. "Right now, two years in prison is sounding like a pretty cushy deal compared to the embarrassment this thing will bring me."

I felt awful, what a terrible way to make an introduction to someone. I wanted to tell him that the outfit meant nothing because there would never be a wedding, but I obviously had to hold my tongue.

The other changing stall opened, and Walt came walking out on his boots. Walt was Ted's father, a man in his 80's who probably had been handsome in his youth. He was average in height, with extremely wrinkled old skin all over his exposed body. I felt just as terrible for him as I did for his son, even if he had an above averaged sized unit.

"My god," Ted said, turning away from his father. "It looks awful."

"It's certainly not something I'd ever pick out for myself," he said. "But I don't think I'm too old to work this outfit. What d'ya think? I can be the eye candy for the older ladies in attendance."

"I think you look fabulous," Meredith said.

"I think this will do just fine," he said.

I arrived at the stables well before my lesson with Parker, so I figured I'd take Abderhalden out one more time, just to make sure he stayed used to having me as a rider. I saw Polly and asked her to saddle him up for me.

"Parker's horse, yous mean?" she asked.

"Yes."

When she brought me the horse, she asked me, "Did Parker tell yous bout the story behind this horse? I told him bout it when he was picking out a new mount last morn."

"No, I didn't hear."

She smiled. "Ya know, I always say folks pick out horses that either are like em or like their perfect mates. Jericho and Donnie both picked out horses that were like em. Boyd picked out a horse like his wife, athletically gifted and good lookin.' Syd always has new horses, and they're always damn attractive animals who absolutely love him."

"What about me?" I asked. "Do you think Patches is supposed to be me?"

"No, you idiot. Patches is so obviously Parker, who yous so obviously in love with."

My face went hot. "I am not in love with Parker."

"Why else would ya pick that horse? He's the sweetest, smartest horse around, so loving, so patient. He's a big, strong, masculine stallion, like Parker. Yet his burns make it so no horse will come near him, no rider will even touch him. He's got zero self-esteem `cause of it, too. Feels useless to everyone now, feels ugly. How could that not be anyone else but Parker?"

"A horse is just a horse, Polly. It's not some window to a person's soul."

"Yous ain't knowin' at all. And Parker, he picked out Curie few years back. How could she be anyone but his wife Annie? Blonde like her, a beauty. Not quite a stellar athlete, but smart as hell. And also like her, she's hard to deal with. Demanding. Stuck up. A princess. Always makes Parker give more, more, more, but never shows him the slightest bit of love for it."

I scoffed. "I don't think any of those things are true about Annie."

"Ya don't really know her then, seems to me."

"What about Annie's old horse?" I asked. "Was it like Parker?"

"She had a horse, a big handsome stallion with a big ego. She disowned the horse after he repeatedly refused to mind her to instead chase after some mares in heat. After that, she mostly just rides Curie."

"But Abderhalden isn't anything like Annie, and Parker just picked him out, so that disproves your theory."

"No it ain't," she said, looking exasperated. "Hello? Jake, ain't ya see? Abder is yous. Parker picked out yous."

"That's ridiculous," I said, looking at the horse she had by the reins. "Just because he's my coloring, and he has lean muscle like I do, doesn't mean he's me."

"Yous an even a bigger dope than I figured. Parker picked him out `cause he's just as smart as Patches, and just as loyal. Unlike Patches, Abderhalden ain't a sweet horse. He's good to those who deserve it, but to bad folks, he has a real attitude towards. He's a bit high and mighty."

"Are you saying that's like me?" I asked, putting my hands on my hips. "I beg to differ."

"Damn straight. And how can ya deny that's like yous when yer reaction to me tellin' ya this is to get all defensive? And there's more. Parker picked him out cause I told him Abder's history. Before I got here, Donnie picked him out as a talented rodeo horse, but the horse always gave him lip when Donnie tried to make him mind, so he started to beat the crap out of him, hoping he might break him. He admitted to doing terrible, awful, torturous things to the horse, but Abder never broke down. He would pour cattle blood all over the animal, and lock him in with the other horses, who would be terrified of him cause of his scent and not let him come near. Kinda like the not exactly warm welcome ya found in the Territory just `cause ya have blood that smells different."

"That's just coincidence."

"What about the fact that the only horse that would go near Abder was yer horse, Patches, and vice versa? Patches would always try to defend Abder from the other horses and Donnie most of all. Those two horses have a friendship that got them through all of the horrible crap they been forced through. Maybe more than a friendship."

"I think you're reading too much into things, Polly. Parker's straight and married."

"And yer engaged. And I'm startin' to realize just how little engaged in Syd ya really are."

I squinted at her. "Please, Polly, try not to think about all this stuff." I didn't want her saying these thoughts to anyone else and possibly putting my fake marriage in jeopardy.

I pulled Abderhalden out of the stable and tried not to think about the concept that I was oddly mounting myself, and went out for a ride.

When I got back, Parker and Lewis were just arriving together, and Parker waved at me, a gleam in his eye. Parker had decided to bring Lewis for his usual lesson with Polly that morning in an attempt to keep things as normal for him as possible. Polly happily took Lewis off on his horse.

Parker saddled up Patches and rode in front of me away from the mansion. I followed Parker on horseback to the axe throwing range.

"I took the liberty of obtaining Syd's personalized target," Parker said, setting it up for me as I took the box of axes to the seventeen foot marker. "Just pretend that Syd is actually on the target as well."

I threw an axe, and it hit the target right in the face.

"You're not pretending!" Parker said.

"Yes, I am!"

Parker laughed. He worked with me for a couple hours on getting my aim as perfect as I could. When he told me he was sure I was going to be fantastic the next day, I asked if I should have him throw some at me like Boyd did during practice.

"Why would I ever needlessly expose you to potential injury? You're much too important to me for that, Jake."

"Because I totally failed at not jumping or flinching when Syd and I did this event the first time in the rodeo. Maybe if you practice with me, I'll get better."

"No, it's not going to happen. I'm sorry."

"You and I are both mathematical, Parker. What is the likelihood that you'll miss and hit me?" I asked.

"Almost nothing. I see what angle you're going for, but as long as there is any chance that I will hit you, no matter how small, I can't do it. Besides, nothing I'd do with you would ever make you trust Syd anymore than you do already. It's totally understandable that you can't help but flinch when Syd throws a dangerous weapon your way. I'm sure I'd do the same if I were in your shoes. The only way to solve that problem is to somehow find your trust in the guy."

"Not going to happen," I said, mimicking his own line.

Parker had brought a picnic lunch out there for us because he figured we would need to eat quickly, and I thought nothing was more romantic than us spreading a picnic cloth on the ground and feasting on fancy sandwiches while we chatted, though I certainly wasn't going to discuss my amorous feelings about the occasion to him.

After we had finished eating, we lay down on the blanket and looked up at that beautiful Texas sky, letting the post-meal drowsiness take hold.

"Jake, I wanted to check in with you. I know what's been going on in your life, but I wanted to know how you've been coping with it all, emotionally."

"You mean, how does it feel having my family's lives in my fragile fingers, all riding on two silly rodeo competitions yet to come?"

He put his comforting arm around me, and I used his bicep as a pillow, feeling so much better even though it was such a small contact. "No one your age should ever feel like they have the weight of the world on their shoulders. You so deserve better. I promise you, you will win these two competitions. And then we'll be free to use my IOU to get you out of vampire hands for good."

"All I can think about is wanting things to go back to the way they were," I said.

"Yes, they will."

"But Syd pointed out something true. They can never really go back to the way things were, because I'm not physically the same person. My whole life, all I wanted was three things. A, to get a first class education and have a rewarding, successful career. B, to fall in love and get married with a wonderful man, someone worthy of growing old together. And C, to start a family with said man, much later in life. Now, I'm not sure if any of those will be attainable."

"Jake, we know you wouldn't be able to start a family. But the other two goals should be achievable."

"But Syd told me that because I no longer age, I won't be able to stay in one place for too long so as not to raise suspicion."

"That's probably smart," he said. "But you should be able to transfer to a new job wherever you end up."

"But Syd also told me that I'd need to lie to everyone I'm close to. I'll have to extricate myself from their lives before they notice I'm not aging, which means any future relationships have a very short life span."

"Syd is describing his own life, Jake. It's up to you whether you want to tell your friends and family about yourself or not. The ones you decide are worthy of that information will be able to stay in your life. You won't have to leave anyone behind."

"But eventually, I have to leave them," I said. "I have to watch them get old and die, while I stay young forever. How many goodbyes will I be able to stand?"

"I've had countless such goodbyes, and it doesn't build up on you like you fear it might. The cliché about taking it one day at a time holds true here, Jake."

"Well, at least I'm not a vampire," I said.

"Vampires are all ultimately accountable to their Blood leader," Parker said. "They are permitted to bring humans in under the same accountability, as Syd has done with you. But they aren't allowed to tell outside humans about anything supernatural, not unless they want to suffer the consequences. Having any semblance of a normal life is a great luxury for most vampires, I'm afraid. No, you would never, ever want to be a vampire. You don't know how many times I've wished there was some way I could turn into a human."

I reached over and hugged him, put my head on his chest. "I'm sorry, Parker, complaining about my own life when you've gone through so much worse."

"No, not worse, just different. But I'm much older than you. I've been through so much and come out the other side. I know how to cope, and that's what I'm going to help you do." He rubbed his hand on my forehead.

"Not to mention, being a vampire is dangerous."

"Especially a young, weak one," he said. "I spent the first few decades learning how to fight, as it was the only way to survive out in the big world. There were more than a few times when I almost died."

"Is that why you had your female reproduction parts removed and your anus sewed up?" I asked him. "Because you didn't want to get raped?"

"How did you knew this about me?"

"Sorry, Della told me."

"Yes, that's part of the reason. But there's more to it than that. I was absolutely sure that I would never find any sort of sexual pleasure from that area. The very idea of having some man use that part of me to get sexual pleasure himself absolutely disgusted me. As did they idea that I might end up impregnated. So, it was an easy choice to make. Though once I ended up with my male reproductive parts being infertile, I started to second guess my earlier choices. Enough to recommend someone like you, who wants to be a father as much as I did, that if you ever got turned, not to be so rah with your choices. Not unless you are making decisions based on your own protection. Then I would fully understand."

"But I'm not going to ever be a vampire."

"No, you aren't. Jake, you would hate it."

"Not to mention, I hate blood," I said. "Not to mention, turning would require me to um, you know, have anal sex with someone, since I could never be turned by a woman special."

His face went red at that. "Yes, that too."

"It sounds like Syd has plenty of experience turning people. Have you ever turned anyone, Parker?"

"No, I haven't. Listen, most vampires just need to be old enough and to be attracted to the person they're turning. I'm not built the same way. I really can't turn anyone who I'm not madly in love with. There have been one or two human women in my past who I considered doing that to, but human women can't be turned." He looked at his watch. "Ready to get back to the practicing?"

"Yes, of course."

We spent the rest of the afternoon practicing first Pole Bending and then Heading and Heeling. I was so thankful that he was concerned enough about the match the next day that he was willing to basically spend all day with me until he was fully confident in my skills. I always respected anyone who was willing to work as hard as I was, and it touched me.

It was nearly dinnertime by the time we showered (without me seeing any nudity) and headed back into the mansion, with Parker giving me final instructions for the rest of the night: don't over think or worry about the match, eat a large, healthy dinner and breakfast, make sure to be hydrated, go to bed early, etc. I went back to Syd's room feeling newly confident about the next day's extremely critical match.

"I need to celebrate tonight with a fancy dinner out," Enid said, bursting through the apartment door that evening. She had in her hand a paper bag. "I just nabbed a high class new outfit from Meredith's, and I can't let it go to waste."

"I hope you didn't steal it, Meredith's a good person."

She rolled her eyes. "I didn't steal it."

"How did you manage to pay for it?" I asked. "You didn't have anything on you but what you're wearing and two bottles of beer when you got here. Where'd you put your money?"

She groaned.

"Where d'ya think she put it, Jakey?" Syd asked.

"Eew, gross." I said. "Remind me never to let you give me money for any reason whatsoever."

"Sounds like a pretty awesome deal to me," she said. "Syd, you stud, I want you to be the first to see my posh new duds."

"I can't wait, darlin,'" he said.

"I'll change, and then we can celebrate by going down to the mansion's restaurant. We'll have a romantic dinner for two."

"At the mess hall?" I asked.

"Yeah, whatever it's called. Let's get messy at the mess hall."

"No, that's not acceptable. If you want to have any romance whatsoever, it'll have to be up in the room."

"Aww, come on," she said. "What's the point of me getting my new clothes if I can't show them off to all the people here? Come on, Syd. I love getting fucked incessantly by you, but won't you just take me out to one measly little meal? Is that too much to ask?"

"Of course not, darlin.' Listen, I have a solution," Syd said. "We'll go downstairs, all three of us. Above the table, we'll make people think Jake and I are a couple, but below the table, the three of us will know who the couple really is."

She smiled. "I like it."

"Wait a second, I'm supposed to be babysitting Lewis tonight, and I was hoping to take him to dinner downstairs."

"Bring him with us," Syd said.

"And what if he catches you two carrying on under the table?" I asked.

"Well, he's never too young to learn `bout the birds and the bees," Syd said.

"No way. I'll go eat with you two, but I'm not subjecting Lewis to that."

"Alright, let me change," she said, charging into the closet.

She came out a few minutes later. "What do you think?" she asked.

She was dressed in her same stilettos as before, but this time, instead of the thong underwear and tiny bra she had worn in, she had on a new pair of more period appropriate, beige bra and panties.

"They look a lot more, um, comfortable than your other ones," I said. "Go ahead and put on your new dress."

"What new dress?" she asked. "This is it."

I shook my head. "You ran out of money before you could buy the dress? Syd, give this poor girl some money so she can buy a proper outfit for herself."

"No, stupid, I didn't run out of money," she said. "This is the whole outfit."

"Are you serious?" I asked. "These are the proper new clothes you want to go out in?

"Yeah," she said. "You see, it covers WAY more skin than my other outfit. Why, this is practically church acceptable."

I shook my head. "Clearly you've never been to church a day in your life," I said. "Which really doesn't surprise me at all."

"All I care about is what Syd thinks," she said. "How about it, honey?"

"Well, do you want me to be honest with you?" he asked.

"See, even he thinks it's too much for the mess hall," I said.

"Listen, darlin,'" Syd said. "You know I think you're the most beautiful, sexy girl around. But this new outfit just ain't doin' it for me," he said.

"See?" I asked.

"You should wear yer old outfit," Syd said. "That one is like ten times hotter."

"Oh, alright," she said sadly, ripping off her new underwear and putting her old ones back on.

"What?" I asked, shocked. "She can't go down to dinner like that! There are little children down there."

"What's so bad about them seeing a prime specimen of the female anatomy?" Syd asked me.

Enid walked out the door, her stilettos clicking. "Let's go"

Syd followed her out the door. "You'd better be coming, Jakey, or everyone's gonna be having a lot of questions."

"Fine," I said, walking out the door after him.

When we got to the mess hall, Enid went in first, drawing every eye in the busy room to her, and I tried to keep as much distance as possible from her. That lasted for just a few seconds, and Syd grabbed my hand, interlocking his fingers with mine, and pulled me along close behind her. Everyone's jaws dropped as they looked at her outfit, and of course they were grouping me with her.

After we ordered our food at the counter, we found a booth table that was relatively quiet. Syd and I sat down on one side of the table, with me closest to the wall, while Enid sat down on the other side, right in the middle of us.

"I think we're free to speak as we wish," Enid said, looking around. "I don't think anyone can hear us if we keep our voices down."

"So, they won't be able to hear me tell you that the food here is great, but none of it tastes as good as yer pussy," he said with his charming smile.

I rolled my eyes.

Enid laughed. "Aw, honey, that's one of the most romantic things anyone has ever said to me."

I looked at her face, assuming I would find it filled with irony. Instead, she looked genuinely moved. I couldn't believe she was serious.

"I'm used to eating my dinners off your Johnson, sweety," she said. "Do you think I can manage that here?"

"Just thinking about it is giving me a major boner," Syd said.

"Ooh, let me feel!" She adjusted herself above the table, and beneath it, her foot must have made contact with Syd's crotch. Luckily, there was a table cloth hanging down from the top of the table that covered what was going on beneath from any prying eyes. "Oh yeah, you're ready for some serious fucking tonight," she said.

"For sure, baby. You know, this probably looks weird," Syd said. "Jakey hasn't said a single word the whole time we've been here. Jake, you'll need to join in the conversation just as much as I am, or else it'll look like Enid is here to see me instead of both of us."

"I'd think I'd be more participatory in a conversation that wasn't filled with sexual innuendo," I said.

"Innuendo?" Syd asked. "Our conversation is all sex, no innuendo."

"So, what does Mr. Boring want to discuss, then?" asked Enid.

"Well, how about something normal, like current events, sports, history, or science?"

"I'm sorry, were those conversation topic suggestions or were you just naming Trivial Pursuit categories?" Syd asked.

I felt Enid's foot on my side, which surprised me and made me jump. Why was she touching me? I looked down, and realized her foot was just making incidental contact with my body as it wrapped around Syd's side. She had both feet on either side of his hips, and she was doing her best to straddle his crotch. She had an intense look at him.

"Whoa," I said. "Someone is going to see that."

"Oh, come on," she said. "No one will see anything unless someone walks over to our table."

"Here's your food," said one of the staff, approaching our table with a big tray.

Enid's legs flew away from Syd and she pulled back properly into her seat, hoping the guy hadn't seen anything. "Oh, thank you," she said, never stopping locking eyes with Syd.

The guy left, and I at least had the distraction of my dinner to keep me going. As we ate, every so often, Syd made a calculated physical gesture of affection towards me. But I noticed Enid's position on the opposite side of the table slowly shift more and more away from the center of the table to Syd's side, and I could feel both of them rubbing each other under the table with their feet.

After the food was mostly gone, Enid threw her napkin under the table as she gave Syd an evil smile. "Oops, I dropped my napkin."

"It's over by me, I can pick it up," I said.

"No, no. I got it."

She climbed under the table. Very soon, I heard buttons being pulled open, and Syd made a very satisfied sounding grunt.

I pulled back the tablecloth to see Enid's lips surround Syd's hard dicktip.

"Come on, you two, knock it off!" I said. "Someone will see you."

"Enid, did I ever tell you why I used to call Jakey Mr. Worst-Case-Scenario?" Syd asked.

"Uh-uh," Enid barely managed to say from underneath the table, her mouth clearly obstructed. "Why?"

"It's `cause ol' cranky panties here always thinks the worst possibility is bound to happen at any given second."

"Hello, Syd," said a woman's voice.

I looked up to see Rose had appeared, seemingly from nowhere, and was standing at our table. Seeing her literally made me jump.

"Whoa, tell your human dog over there he can relax," Rose said, noticing my reaction. "Though there's nothing that I appreciate more than a human who knows to cower when I approach."

"Hi ya, Rosie," Syd said.

Beneath the table, I could feel Enid freeze.

"Mind if I join you?" Rose asked Syd.

"We were kind of in the middle of a romantic dinner," I said, not wanting her anywhere near Enid. "So, probably not."

She smiled. "Oh, I get it," she said. "Keeping up appearances for the sake of these small folk, huh? Very clever, you two."

"That's right," said Syd, wrapping his arm around my neck. "We're just putting on a show here. Honestly, the two of us hate touching each other." At least he was half right on that point.

"Well, I'll just sit down, and I promise no one will suspect a thing," she said, and I sighed, knowing it was only a matter of time before she noticed Enid.

Rose started to sit down on the bench Enid had just been on, and I felt Enid crawl out of the way of Rose's legs just in the nick of time, forcing her to climb over to my legs.

Rose looked down. "Wait, what the hell is this?" she asked, and I figured she had clearly seen Enid beneath the table.

"What is what, darlin?'" asked Syd.

"This extra plate of food over here," she said. "Was there someone else sitting here?"

I needed to come with something quickly. "Uh, you see, um..."

"What he's trying to tell you," Syd said, "is that when he's upset, he binges. He really can't stop himself. So, today he's had two dinners all to himself, but earlier he had three or four lunches. He only stays so trim `cause he pukes it all up several times a day, ain't ya, Jakey?"

"Mmm, yes," I said, hating to agree with anymore of his ridiculous lies about me.

"My my my, you must have an addictive personality," Rose said to me. "Between being a sex addict, an alcoholic, and addicted to food, if you ever tried to quit, you'd have like fifty steps to go through."

"Please don't judge me," I said.

She locked eyes with Syd. "Guess who is craving a little loving again, Syd?" she asked him. She reached out and grabbed his hand, then pulled it away quickly. "Sorry, I don't want to get you in trouble. But no one can see what I'm doing under the table."

She got a smile on her face, and I saw her foot move right to Syd's crotch.

"Whoa!" she asked. "How come your penis is out and all firm?"

"Because I took it out as soon as you walked over, sweetheart," he said. "And you already know how hard you make me."

"Ooo, I love it," she said with a smile. "I want to feel it in my hand," she said, reaching under the table, stretching her hand out towards him. "There, I have it!" she said

"You do?" asked Syd.

"Yes, in my hand," she said. "Feel it when I squeeze it hard, Syd? Feel it now?" From the look on her face, she was squeezing with all her might.

"Ooow!" came Enid's voice from beneath the table.

Shocked, Rose stuck her head under the table. "Ahh!" she screamed moments later. "You again!"

"Sorry, I dropped my napkin," Enid said, climbing back from under the table across from me, next to Rose. "Please let go of my arm, it hurts!"

Rose removed her hand from Enid's wrist, and then looked at her own hand with disgust, clearly wishing she had some hand sanitizer. "You dropped your napkin, and you were under the table searching for it this whole time, huh?"

"That's my story and I'm sticking to it," Enid said.

"I know exactly what is going on here," Rose said, her angry eye flicking right to Syd. "You two men have been pretending to be a couple, while this little whore hangs out under the table, doing everything sexually I refuse to do on principle," she said.

"Rosie, please," Syd said. "Don't go running to Jericho about this."

"Why would I go to the Governor?" She said. "As far as I'm concerned, you two deserve each other."

I thought she meant Enid and Syd deserved each other, which was absolutely true. In fact, though, I realized she was motioning towards Enid and me.

"I can't believe you make poor Syd come down here and put on this charade, just so you can do disgusting sexual things to each other under the table. Oh, don't look so shocked, honey, I saw you between that human dog's legs."

Syd shook his head. "It's terrible, what these two sex addicts put me through," Syd said to her.

"Aww, poor thing," she said. "I know just what will make you feel better."

"What?"

"Some after dinner, wholesome missionary position dessert with yours truly in my room. Just finish your dinner and let's go."

"That's just what I need, thanks Rosie." He started to eat the rest of his macaroni and cheese on his plate, and I noticed that instead of just shoveling it in his mouth, he carefully used his silverware and wiped his mouth with his napkin, displaying those same table manners he had once used to fool me in Tahoe with Rose.

I could feel Rose's feet start to rub Syd's lower half under the table as she watched him eat. She looked over at Enid and me. "How come you two stopped messing around?" she asked. "I thought you couldn't stand not touching each other for a single second when you were together?"

"Actually, Jake has had his right foot rubbing inside my pussy this whole time you've been talking," Enid said. "Right, Jake?"

I felt her grab my right foot and push it towards her crotch.

"That's right."

"Eew, you two are so vulgar," Rose said. "The kind of sex you two have, it makes normal people like Syd and I sick to our stomachs to even think about doing it."

"That's right, Rosie," Syd said. "That's why girls like Enid I don't even want to be around, and classy women like you, who like to keep sex to the simple basics, that gets me going all the time." He smiled at her.

"I'm so glad to see how capable of breeding you are, Syd," she said, rubbing him with her hand under the table. "You're not infertile, are you?" she asked.

"Baby, these balls have been used on overdrive since I was a teenager. They've shot so much sperm over the long years, I could have fathered half the planet by now if I hadn't been as careful as I was."

"It was a rhetorical question, I know you're fertile, but good," Rose said. "We're going to need all that sperm, because you're going to have to impregnate me with a male heir once we get married."

"Whoa, Rosie, you know I never wanted to be a father," he said. "Us having kids was not a part of my deal."

"And I accepted that until I saw firsthand how the Cabinet members are responding to the news that Parker and Annie are having a boy. In their eyes, Parker used to be seen as just an inevitable bump in the road, due to him being unable to produce an heir. But now..." She looked over at Enid. "I don't trust that girl to be able to listen to this and not say anything."

Syd looked at Enid. "Enid, cover your ears and sing. You too, Jakey."

"Oh, all right," Enid said, putting her fingers in her ears and starting to sing (or more correctly, gangster rap) to herself, clearly not caring at all about being cut out of the conversation.

I put my hands to my ears, but I didn't really cover my eardrums, through I acted like I had. I wanted to hear what was being said about Parker.

"Go ahead, darlin,'" Syd said.

"So, now all the Cabinet members are singing a different tune entirely," she said. "Especially since they incorrectly are claiming this means that Parker might be capable of producing more heirs now. Parker has had years of experience working with all the Council members. They think he has a lot of potential as Governor, though everyone thinks he is way too soft, too much of a boy scout. They hope he'll grow out of that."

"Ha. Parker's been like that for well over a century. I don't think he's capable of being anything else."

"I know that, but no one else does," Rose said. "I tell them that supporting his Governorship will ultimately undermine everything Jericho has done, but they don't listen."

"So, what about Lewis?" he asked.

"Everyone knows Jericho is working very hard to groom Lewis into being a Governor that will live up to his expectations, since his worst case scenario would be for you or Parker to be named Governor. But the Cabinet doesn't consider him anything more than a wildcard at this point, because he is much too young for them to have any idea what kind of Governor he'll make. Worse still, it will be nearly a century before he is able to produce heirs of his own, so he's just not an attractive option for anyone besides Jericho."

"And what about my loony sister?" Syd asked. "I know she'll try to make a play for the Governorship when Jericho passes with the claim that because she's fanged, she's more than capable of all the physical requirements of the post, and she knows the politics more than anyone."

Rose laughed. "You don't know how many times your father has asked me the very same question. He'd like nothing more than for Giggles to take over after him, as she is the only other Logan he truly trusts. And I'll tell you what I've told him every single time he asks: it's not going to happen for her. If there weren't any male heirs to chose from, then she'd probably have a good shot. But now with Lewis here, the Governor is swarming with male heirs."

He smiled. "But it really doesn't matter how much they support Parker, because the bottom line is, I'm the next heir."

She laughed. "You're really underestimating the power of desperate, conniving politicians. With their support running towards Parker's favor, they'll do everything they can to undermine your chances of ever serving as Governor. Parker's lived the life of a saint, but you have always broken nearly every rule put in front of you."

"That's just because it's so damned fun to light the fire and watch them rules burn," Syd said with a smile.

"They'll find some loophole, some way to exploit your reputation, to keep you from ever serving. They may even try something even more underhanded, who knows? The point is, you'll never be Governor without the Cabinet and the powerful families' favor, and you have neither."

"Neither did my father when his father died."

"But he was the only heir, Syd."

Syd shook his head. "Cornelius won't let this happen to me. He's the order keeper of the Logan Blood."

"Cornelius will never admit anything besides impartiality," she agreed. "But deep down, he's always liked and respected Parker. He won't ever join forces with these schemers, but when they make their move to help Parker, you can be sure he'll turn a blind eye."

He smiled at her. "I assume you have a plan, sweetheart, or ya never would have chosen me for a future husband."

"You're right, I wouldn't have," she said. "After we get married--"

"Whenever that may be," he hedged.

"Whenever that may be," she agreed. "Our pairing will lift you up in the eyes of all powerful people in the Logan Blood because my family is one of the most distinguished. My parents will throw their support around you, Syd, so long as you and I produce a male heir of our own. Once we have, Parker's son will be irrelevant, and the council will be forced to support you as well."

"So, that's what would happen if I wanted to become a father," he said. "What if I didn't procreate, but Jericho outlived Parker?"

She considered. "That would work in our favor," she said. "The Cabinet would support you over Giggles or Lewis for the reasons I've told you, and you'd be named Governor, with everyone knowing if no heir was produced, the Governorship would be passed on to Lewis. As long as Parker never took the Governorship, his son will only have a shot at leadership if Lewis and Giggles were both out of contention."

"Well, I have a lot to think about, don't I, Rosie?"

"That you do. I trust you'll make the right decision."

Syd waved to Enid and I, and motioned for us to take our hands off our ears. "Thank God," Enid said. "I was almost running out of Wu Tang Clan songs to sing."

"Well, I'm all done with my supper here, and all I can think about is getting you in bed, Rosie."

"Now, we can't leave the table together or they could be suspicious," Rose said. "You go first, and I'll meet you in my bedroom in a couple minutes."

"It'll kill me to wait for you that long," Syd said, getting up.

"Syd, don't forget to kiss your future fiancé goodbye," Enid said.

"Eww, do I really have to?" Syd asked. "I only have lips for Rosie."

"You have to," Enid said.

"Alright, alright," Syd looked at me, moved his head towards me, and pressed his closed lips to my closed lips.

"I don't see any tongue yet!" Enid said.

"Please don't make me vomit," Rose said.

Syd stuck out his tongue, licking my lips, and into my mouth. After he pulled away, he said, "Oh lord, that made me sick. I don't even want to tell you what part of the female anatomy Jake's mouth tasted like."

"I don't have to ask," Enid said. "I know exactly what that tongue was doing the last thirty minutes before dinner."

"Eww, disgusting," Rose said. "The first thing you are doing when you get into my room is brushing your teeth and rinsing with mouthwash. And even then, I'm not sure if I'll let you kiss me tonight."

"Alright, sweetheart, see you soon." Syd left the table, and two minutes later, Rose left as well, trying to look subtle.

"Well, unless you're going to start eating out my ladyparts for real now, I think I better go too," Enid said.

"So we don't arouse suspicion?"

"So I don't have to get bored to death as soon as you start talking to me about history or current events or whatever else." She got up, threw her napkin down, and left the table.

After I finished my meal, I spent the remainder of the evening babysitting Lewis in his new apartment, which was actually a larger, nicer room than Syd's, with plenty of room to play around. Though his mood seemed a lot more normal than the previous day, he still asked about his mother several times, asking if I could get him to see her, asking if I could deliver her a message, and so on, all of which I had nothing but disappointment for him. I knew Parker and Annie were taking turns looking after him, and they were trying to keep his life as normal for the next weeks as possible. Annie was making sure he was fed properly, and Parker was getting him daily blood packets from the kitchen refrigerators downstairs, which I guess the boy hated.

When it was bedtime, I made him clean up his toys and not just leave them around in his room, and then I told him I'd be tucking him in.

"I don't like being tucked in by anyone but Mom," he said. I tried to convince him otherwise, but he was adamant, and made me leave his apartment.

I walked back to Syd's place, and walked through the door. I was surprised to see Enid lying naked in his bed. At first I figured Syd was around in the room as well, surely naked himself.

"Syd?" Enid asked, looking over at me as I came in. "Oh, just lame old you."

"What are you doing here?"

"What does it look like? Waiting for Syd to come fuck me."

"Syd and I have a rodeo competition tomorrow morning, and I think it would be best if you left."

"I'll leave now if you fuck the daylights outta me."

"Uh, no deal."

"Fuck off, then."

I noticed several new empty bottles of beer around, and I knew that she must have been really drunk again. In fact, by the time I got ready for bed and knelt down to say my prayers, she was already passed out.

"One of these days you're going to die of alcohol poisoning, the way you binge drink like you do," I said, but there came no response.

I fell asleep quickly.

I awoke sometime that night to once again find Syd and Enid carousing on his bed. He must have just gotten home from Rose's, I figured, and if he was attacking Enid so soon, he must have faked his orgasm once more.

"Syd, you can't be serious. We have a rodeo competition tomorrow, remember?"

"That's why you should be thankin' us," Syd said. "Screwin' Enid all night is just what I need to keep my focus when I got yer sexy naked body pressed against me. Otherwise, temptation could get the best of me."

I had nothing to say to that.

I groaned, annoyed at the noise and interruption, but actually fell right back asleep in spite of it.