Chapter 4 Aftermath
After the fight between Lehi and Tamas, it was almost a week before I saw Tamas again. Mother, hearing rumors of a brawl involving Lehi, sporting a lovely black eye courtesy of Tamas, a couple village boys, and I, gave me holy hell for causing my brother's injury by trying to protect me. Knowing it was useless to protest, I took my punishment like a man. Mother's attitude toward Tamas would have been no different from Lehi's attitude. That night Melly crawled into my bed and held my shaking body until we both fell asleep.
Mother decided that I need to be kept close to prevent any further "difficulty" and consequently I dared not leave the castle to go to town. Thursday afternoon as I moped around the kitchen getting in the way and being yelled at, I felt a small tug on my doublet. I looked down to see Kinna standing beside me, a cloth bag clutched in his small hand.
"Kinna!" I said surprised. He held up a finger to his lips and I looked around. A few people had looked up but for the most part no one had noticed anything unusual.
Grabbing his hand with my right and catching up a mug with my left hand, I scooped some soup out of one of the end pots. I blew lightly on the soup as Kinna followed me out of the kitchen. The afternoon sun shone warmly on the back door steps and I sat down, patting a spot next to me for the child. When I handed him the mug, his face lit up in a smile, and he took it with pleasure. He ate leisurely, I figured Tamas had sent him assuming he'd be the least likely to be noticed, just another urchin running around.
"Tis good," he said softly. "Not good as Mistress Nayne's though, but almost."
"I'll give Cook your compliments," I said wryly. "Tell me now, is Tamas all right? What about Teru?"
Kinna sighed, the heavy sigh of an adult. He handed me the cloth bag and nodded to it. Inside the bag, I felt something hard and heard the rustle of paper.
"'Tam's all ri', I guess. Got a temper like wet hen wi' a stick up er ass though." I started in surprise at the crude phrase coming from the small child. I doubted that Teru had even known the boy was listening at that moment. "Master Huron won't let im in the forge, don't need the place burnt down."
I swallowed and nodded. An angry firedrake had to be a fire hazard, and I could see Tamas stomping around shooting flame. I covered one ear and listened to the angry pounding of his heartbeat. Kinna looked up at me and squinted. I dropped my hand to my lap and the pounding receded to a small thump.
"Wish I coulda been ere ta see it. Tam was a mess when e got ome. Es got one heck of a black eye, all the way to his jaw. Says it hurts ta chew and poor Teru," he paused, "'e's got burns down `is arms an' chest. Healer don't think they'll scar but...," he trailed off his eyes huge.
I swallowed and stared at my hands. Guilt washed over me, the whole mess was my fault. Tamas' face was injured and Teru would have scars because of me. Tears spilled over, trickling down my face. Kinna went on talking, oblivious in that way of small children to anything else.
"Must ha' been a battle royal," he said, his voice glowing with pride for his adored Tam. "Tam was half drownt when Teru and Chohee got im ome."
"Half drowned?" I exclaimed.
"Hai, Chohee and Master Madoc kep' dunkin' im in a bucket o' water til e stopped growlin' an' shootin' fire." He giggled in childish glee and pantomimed pushing a head into a bucket. "On'y Master Madoc is strong nuff to dunk Tam. Musta been a right good sight ta see, I'm sorry ta ave missed it."
He looked out at the castle grounds and sighed in sorrow. Despite my distress over the whole situation, I had to stifle a laugh at Kinna's sadness.
"Mistress Nayne says Tam's da is gonna show fer this, no way a dragon anywhere in this country dint hear all tha screamin'."
"Anyways I need ta take an answer back fer thah," Kinna said nodding to the bag in my hand. Opening the bag, I smelled the dragon stink, heady and musky. I could see the long red gold serpent glowing like a beacon in my head. Tipping the contents out into my hand, I found a small iron s-shaped pendant of a dragon, barely as long as my thumb and a tightly folded scrap of paper. Holding the pendant up, I marveled at the detail, tiny moustaches and a flowing mane together with a pair of delicate wings curved above the serpentine body, gave the sensation of flight. There were even tiny talons on the toes. Tamas' father wasn't the only talented artisan in the family.
"Ahhh, so thah was what e was doin' las night," Kinna said. "I saw the fire in the forge; knew it had ta be im that late."
After a moment's contemplation, I decided not to ask Kinna what he was doing up at that time of night. Some things, I suspected, are better left as mysteries, especially in regards to Kinna. Slowly I unfolded the paper and smoothed it out on my knee. The handwriting was shaky and spelling hit or miss, but the feelings of the writer were anything but miss.
Nicco,
Please tell me you aren't hurt. Mum won't let me out of her sight, so I can't come to you. Oh Nicco, I need to know you are fine. It hurts to think I have caused you pain again. And I'm so lonely without you, I can't breathe or eat or do anything. I just stare into the fire and think about you. Please tell me you are all right.
Tamas
I stared off across the castle grounds for a moment holding the note to my throat. I had been so worried about repercussions of the fight affecting Tamas only to find out he was half out of his head in worry over me. I smiled softly and tapped Kinna on the knee. He looked up sharply.
"Come on with me," I said rising to my feet. "I better answer this and send you on your way, before our poor dragon wastes away to nothing."
Kinna giggled and bounced to his feet. He followed me back in through the kitchen, leaving the mug on a table, up through the main hall to the East Wing stairway, his eyes the size of the moon as he took in everything. The stairs were crowded and I took his hand so he wouldn't get lost. That small hand wrapped around my twisted one felt oddly comforting and warm. I hadn't realized how much I had come to crave human touch since meeting Tamas. It seemed odd not to have him hanging on me: odd and very lonesome too.
My room was warm from the afternoon sun and high enough in the air to enchant the small boy. Kinna hung from the window pointing out a million things I took for granted, but he'd never seen from that angle. I finally pulled him in and closed one shutter for fear of him falling out. He just grinned at me and curled up on the bed looking like a rather large but satisfied cat.
I tore a piece of paper I'd already ruled out of one of my books and sat at the table, looking out through the half-shuttered window. My thoughts chased each other through the dark chaos in my head until I despaired of being able to capture them on paper. Finally, I gave up trying to order my emotions and just started writing.
Tamas
Thank you for the dragon, it's gorgeous. I will ask Melly to hook it to my necklace. It makes me feel less lonely having the things you've given me at my side. I close my eyes and I can see you, smell you and hear your heartbeat. Mother is furious with me because of Lehi's black eye, which he completely deserved and so like your Mum she's not letting me go far away from her. I am fine, my hand stung for a while from slapping Lehi, but it's stopped now. You haven't caused me pain and it's my fault you got hurt. I should have stayed away. Please forgive me.
Nicco
Please stay there, as soon as I can get away, I'll come to you.
I folded the note, only three times instead of Tamas' multiple times, and stuffed it into the bag. Turning around I found Kinna asleep on my bed. I smiled, poor child, things had to be in chaos at the forge in town. Frustration and anger welled up in me again; it was unfair of Lehi to dismiss Tamas, just because he was a peasant. My anger, in part, stemmed from the fact that Tamas was a highly talented craftsman; I was certain that together with Teru's talents his reputation would be as one of the top smiths in the country.
I paced from one end of my room to the other letting my anger wash over me until Melly's soft knock at the door stopped me. Mother wanted me. I sighed and told her I`d be there in a moment. Waking Kinna, I gave him the bag to deliver to Tamas and sent him out with Melly to make sure he got as far as the garrison smithy unhindered. Squaring my shoulders, I swallowed my emotions; made my face blank and went to attend to my mother.
I awoke Sunday morning, feeling shaky and nauseous, and the possessor of a headache that pounded loud enough to drive out the sound of Tamas' heartbeat. I crawled to the chamber pot and emptied the contents of my stomach into it, which admittedly hadn't been much, as my appetite seemed affected by the fight. I crawled back to bed and burrowed under the covers. I woke some hours later to Melly leaning over me. I started backwards and that brought my stomach up again. I stared at the mess mortified and ready to burst into tears.
"Well, that takes care of you attending Mass with Milady," she said.
"Melly!"
"Hai, hai," she said softly, wiping off my face and chest with a blanket. "You stay here, I'll dash to tell Milady and then be back to clean you up." She rolled the soiled blanket into a ball and tossed it into a corner.
I slid back against the cold stonewall as far from the mess as I could get and lay there shivering. Melly returned shortly with hot water, a bundle of rags, a couple of clean blankets and a mug of thin soup. She finished cleaning me up and held my head as I puked again into the chamber pot. Bundling me into a clean shirt and the blankets, my arm over her shoulders, she moved me to a corner so she could strip the bed. Her wrinkled nose said it all and I pulled the blanket over my head.
"Nicco, I'm gonna have to wash the bed cover and repack it with rushes. But I should be able to borrow another one for you."
"Sorry to be so much work," I mumbled. Melly sighed and squatted down in front of me.
"When will you realize you aren't a burden on anyone? In fact, you're probably the least troublesome person in this castle," she said pushing damp hair off my face. "I'll be back in a few minutes."
With a soft kiss on my forehead, she was gone. Feeling more miserable and lonesome than I had ever felt in my life, I pulled the blankets up over my head and put my hands over my ears to listen to the soothing beating of Tamas' heartbeat. Melly returned sometime later with a musty but clean mattress and helped me into bed. She insisted I sip some of the soup and some water, then leaving the chamber pot close she left me to sleep, and sleep I did, waking only to puke some more, sip some water and fall back asleep. Somehow, the chamber pot never flowed over, miraculously emptying itself regularly through the day.
"Nicco," I heard my name, sounding like the speaker stood a great distance from me. I struggled to wake up. I heard my name again, this time in Tamas` voice, now I knew I was sick, Tamas couldn't possibly be in the castle much less in my room.
"I'm pretty certain it's just a case of the flux," Melly said. "Nicco's always been one for comin down sick easy. Doctor says it`s the remnants of his sickness as a baby that makes him catch the flux and whatnot so easy."
"Hmm, I thought his heartbeat sounded off from the beginning," Tamas' said sounding inside my room. "But this morning's beat was crazy fast, then slow enough to scare me, jumpin to fast again."
There was a long pause, so long, I decided that the dream had gone and I was alone again in my room. I shivered and pulled the blanket tighter around me.
"This is intolerable," Tamas, said abruptly, "Nicco can't live like this. The room needs airin'! The pot needs to be dumped, he needs fresh water and cleanin`!" Tamas' voice was very near now and very angry.
"I've done the best I can, Journeyman, but I've also his Lady Mother to attend to!" Melly protested.
"Hai, hai, and for all that you've done an excellent job." Tamas' said soothingly. "I blame his parents for not providing him a servant o' his own."
"Tamas!" I sat up abruptly and felt my stomach protest. Suddenly the chamber pot was under my chin. The stench coming up from the pot caused several more spasms to shake my body. I collapsed limply onto the bed. In my head, Tamas' heartbeat thundered. Somewhere far off the door shut; I was certain his voice had gone out it.
"Nicco," Tamas' voice was very close now. I moaned in frustration.
"Open your eyes, Nicco, my beloved mate." Tamas' voice washed over me like clean spring water.
"Nnnn, if I do you`ll be gone," I squeezed my eyes shut tighter.
Tamas chuckled and I heard the sound of rustling cloth and then clop of boot heels hitting the floor. The bed shifted and the bedding lifted; I felt myself pulled close to a warm body. Heat radiated out like the sun; a pair of warm arms wrapped around me and warm lips pressed against my cold forehead. The heartbeat sounded so loud now I could barely think. I pressed my nose to the apparition and breathed in the smell of dragon musk, human male and metal. Do hallucinations really smell, I wondered, sniffing again.
"What are you? A puppy?" He asked with a laugh. "Open your eyes."
"Mm, repeat what you said before," I murmured.
"Before? Before what?"
"What you called me."
"A puppy?" Tamas' voice was puzzled.
"No, before that."
"Ah Nicco, don't play ga-," The exasperation in his voice cut off and his arms tightened. "Nicco, my beloved mate, my precious mate."
"Yes," I whispered relaxing against the broad warm chest. Tamas chuckled and tipped my head up.
"Open your eyes, Nicco, my beloved mate."
I opened my eyes slowly partly fearing what I would see and partly fearing what I might not see. Tamas was lying on his side, my head laying on his arm, looking at me with those impossibly blue eyes, one swollen almost shut, and for a moment I saw myself reflected back in the open one, looking terribly wan with eyes much too big in a small fey face; smudged from illness. True to Kinna's description, the left side of his face was black from eyebrow to jaw, the edges turning a nasty color of yellow. His hair trailed over his shoulder in its usual braid and he had taken off his doublet. I lay pressed against his shirt and hose, the buckle of his belt digging into my pubic bone; his hose rough against my bare legs. I felt horribly shameless being nearly naked.
"How can you be here?" I asked. "Why are you here?"
"I told you if your heartbeat changes, I'll be at your side, fast as I can. When it went wild this mornin' I about died o' panic. Only day in my life that I've hated the forge."
"But how did you get in?"
"Through the front gate," he said puzzled.
"They didn't stop you?"
"For what?" Tamas sounded genuinely confused.
"For fighting with Lehi!" I cried. Tamas stared at me for a moment then burst out laughing.
"Oh my poor innocent wee one, have yeh been frettin' yer head o'er that?"
Tamas' laugh rumbled through my ribcage and unfortunately also joggled my stomach making me feel like puking again. He stopped laughing when I begged him to before I vomited again. His arms tightened around me and I felt his hands through the thin fabric of my shirt.
"Nicco, Nicco, if they stopped all brawlers from coming in there'd be no one here most days. Besides I'm a craft master on a legitimate errand to the garrison smithy, who's to say anything if I nip over to the kitchen for a bite ta eat?"
"This isn't exactly the kitchen," I pointed out stubbornly.
"I got lost," he said in a matter of fact tone. This time I laughed and my stomach told me how much it didn't like it. Tamas stroked my back and whispered soothing words.
"So that was your Lehi, eh?" He said thoughtfully. I nodded against the rough weave of his shirt. I, of course, had told Tamas a little about my family.
"Hmmm, I'd ha' no thought it," he said softly.
"You know Lehi?" I asked surprised.
"Well know him, no I don't, but we have history," Tamas said darkly. "We have met a time or two in the bars in town. It's all right when he's botherin the whores; they can take care o' it, but when he and his fellows start botherin the honest women and girls..."
"But he's married!" I said aghast.
"My sweet little innocent! Some fellows never let details like that bother them. They go to Confession and do their penance and all's well again." He scowled. "Pfft!"
"Sayji and I and several others have `escorted' Lehi and his fellows out of town more'n once. I expect he'd have no been so quick to throw a punch if he had seen me clearer."
"That looks painful," I said, raising up and barely touching his chin. "Kinna told me but I never imagined..."
"Not as bad as it was, I can open my eye now. But I'm more worried about you."
"Me?" I said confused. "Why?"
"Because I know your character, and I read the letter you sent me. You've been worrying that pretty blond head o' yours that this was all your fault, right?"
I ducked my head embarrassed. Tamas sighed and shifted on the bed, wrapping one leg over mine. His hose clad thigh lightly caressed my bare one. He tipped my head up again and studied my face for a moment before kissing me lightly. I wondered briefly how that must taste after being sick all day but his expression never changed.
"Yer a bloody daft man, yeh know?" he said finally. "Your brother started it even if I threw the first punch. You ne'er told him to hit me. An' you no told me to hit him, so how can it be your fault?"
"But," I started; "if I hadn't been at the forge-" He cut me off with another kiss.
"I asked you to be there, so it's still not your fault."
"But Teru," I sputtered.
"Teru is wholly my responsibility," he said sharply
I started to protest but he cut me off with two fingers pressed to my lips. Tamas shook his head and smiled. He leaned forward, removed the fingers and then kissed me again.
"You really are an innocent, aren't you?" He said, amusement coloring his voice. He cradled my head against his chest; his heartbeat thundered in my ear. "I've been bruised up far worse than this in bigger fights, I've been burned in the forge, been burned by my own fire; set fire ta my own bed once while sleepin`. I'm not easily broken. And I'm a man, I can take my own blame, I could ha' walked away when he grabbed you, but I didn't. I will protect what's mine, that's a man's job, too."
"And Teru, knew he`d get burned when he grabbed me. He knows my fire well; he knew what he was doing."
Cautiously I ran my finger along the collar of his shirt and down the v-neck, as usual very loosely tied. I could feel the fire under his skin. One of his hands rubbed my back, the other, the arm I was lying on, brushed the edge of my earlobe.
"To tell you the truth, I was pretty happy when you punched him even though it's my brother because you were defending me," I said incredulously. Tamas' arm tightened around me briefly and he kissed my head.
"Some day, Nicco, some day I shall exert my talents and make you understand just what you mean to me," he murmured into my hair.
"For now though, you need to sleep the flux out o' your system."
"Tamas!" I grabbed his shirt.
"I'll stay here for awhile, hold you, and keep you safe."
"You're going to get sick if you stay any longer," I protested.
"Nah nah, I don' know if it's the fire or if dragons don' get human sickness, but I don' get sick." His breath tickled my cheek, "So sleep, beautiful."
I raised my head and lightly kissed his bruised cheek. He sucked in his breath in surprise or pain I wasn't sure. My head felt heavy and his arm so comfortable. My eyes slowly closed.
"If it makes you feel any better," I said sleepily. "Lehi's face looks worse than yours; after all you hit him twice." My eyes closed and I drifted off to sleep with a very dragon snort echoing in my ears.
I awoke the next morning to rain pattering softly against my shutters. Tamas had left already and I was almost convinced it had been a dream. Sitting up slowly, I leaned back against the headboard and listened to the rain. Rain usually meant the suspension of outdoor activities and frequently people would congregate in the main hall and tell stories or sing songs with the women working on their tapestries or knitting. As a small child, I had liked those days the best.
Cautiously, I listened to my stomach. It seemed testy but not angry any more. Hunger seemed to be its primary complaint, but I had no energy to go find anything to eat. I checked the mugs on my clothes chest; one was half-full of cold soup, the other a couple mouthfuls of water. I sipped both alternately, thinking of the previous night. I remembered when I was young enough to need a nursemaid, Melly's mother, would smooth my hair and pat the blankets for me whenever I became sick. When I grew older, I'd told myself I didn't need a nurse anymore. But now, I wanted a strong, warm arm around me. I wanted to hear that deep voice rumble out a rude bar song. Slowly I realized I missed Tamas and I was lonesome. How many years had it been since I had felt like this? I had no idea.
Melly came in not long after I woke up and helped me with my morning toilet and clean up. She brought me a shirt fresh from the laundress, my bedding would be awhile still since it was raining, but Mother had given her a blanket from her room for me. She mopped my windowsill with an old blanket she'd along brought for that purpose, and moved the papers on my table a safe distance away from the window. Melly took the chamber pot and the mugs away with her and returned a short time later with fresh soup and a mug of light ale. I ate gratefully and then burrowed back into the blankets to sleep some more.
"You're certain, he's fine?" Mother's voice woke me up.
"Hai, it seems was just a touch of the flux, Milady. Nicco was up and eating this morning," Melly answered.
"I'm fine, Mother," I called to the door. "Don't come in, you might get sick."
Mother didn't answer, but after a moment, Melly came in carrying the clean chamber pot and a pair of earthenware jugs. She tucked the pot under the bed and set the jugs on the table. Turning back to me, she crossed her arms and surveyed me head to foot.
"Well, I suppose you'll live," she said with a grin. "Cook sent up some light ale and more soup." She tapped on the jugs." She says sip them, don't be in a hurry to fill up or you'll be head down in the pot again."
"Yes'm," I said meekly. Melly sighed and sat down on the edge of the bed. Her rough hand stroked my cheek.
"Nicco, some day, you will realize it's all right for you to ask for things. Tis no crime to be a wee bit selfish, you know."
She tapped me on the nose and I blinked in surprise. Her finger looped under the edge of my shirt and pulled out the dragon necklace. The pendant hung delicately from the flattened links, the metal shiny against my pale skin.
"He cares very deeply for you," she said letting the necklace slide off her finger.
"Mmm," I said.
Melly sighed and stood up. It wasn't that I didn't agree with her, I just didn't know how to say it. I'd become unused to being coddled, since achieving adulthood. As a small sickly child, my nursemaid had always been in close attendance, as well as, I spent a lot of time with Mother. But after passing twelve and still alive, those ties had been stretched until I'd become unaccustomed to receiving much attention from others. My usual companions these days were my books and papers and the library archivist. I wasn't quite certain what to make of my desire to have the red headed smith near me.
I slept on and off the rest of the day and into the following day. I woke late morning Tuesday thinking that it had been a week and wondering how Tamas' face and Teru burns were faring. I still felt weak but I managed to walk to the kitchen to do my morning toilet. I sat by the fire for some time afterwards too tired to walk back to my room. Much to my surprise, I received many inquiries on my health and well wishes. In an odd way, it made me feel much better and gave me the energy to walk upstairs to my room, where I collapsed on the bed and slept.
I awoke to the sound of rain on the shutters and Melly moving around in the room. As soon as she saw I was up, she launched into a full-scale verbal attack for overdoing it and tiring myself out. All my protests were in vain and finally I just surrendered and retreated to the safety of my blankets. After Melly left, I wrapped a light blanket around me and pulling up my clothes chest to the table sat down to do some work. It felt oddly comforting to be back to my routine and work.
A brisk knock on my door interrupted my work sometime later. As usual, I had been so engrossed in what I was reading I had not paid attention to the passage of time. I flung the blanket on my bed and went to the door. My father's servant Ralph was leaning on the doorframe. I started to step back but was unwilling to allow Ralph the chance to enter my room. I disliked Ralph, who had a reputation for violence, intensely. Suddenly I wanted the security of Tamas' size very badly.
"You're honored Father would like to see you if you're not ill any more," He said with a leer, that made me feel like I had opened the door naked.
"Oh," I said, "All right, I'll be right along."
"Eh? He said to bring you forthwith."
Ralph reached out and grasped my upper arm pulling me into the hallway. I barely managed to shut my door before he started walking. His grip on my arm was uncomfortably tight and pushed my shoulder up into an awkward position, but I gritted my teeth and refused to give him the satisfaction of crying out.
Father's quarters were on the floor above Mother and me. Lehi also had quarters up here. Meg's were on bottom floor in the back, I had thought that was due to space allocations but after learning about Lehi from Tamas, I wondered if it wasn't because Lehi wanted extra privacy. Ralph let go of my arm about ten paces from Father's door. I stubbornly refused to rub the sore spot even though my hand itched to do so. He sneered at me before opening the door, the sneer was both a challenge and a threat. I held my head up and walked briskly past him into the room.
I'd rehearsed what to say to Father, on the walk upstairs, as I expected him to grill me over Lehi's fight. It had helped keep my mind off the pain in my arm. I stopped in the middle of the room and made my bow. Father's sitting room was Spartan in furnishing, the contrast between his room and Mother's was almost a physical shock. His was a room little used by it's owner. Tapestries hung on the walls and leaning against them a variety of weapons and pieces of armor. An old saddle sat in a corner with a shield next to it. A few chairs sat near the fireplace and a long table took up one side of the room; it had stacks of papers, maps most likely or perhaps castle fortifications, piled on it.
Father was leaning against the fireplace examining an ornamental dagger when I entered. He looked up, his hawk like gray eyes sweeping me from head to foot. A lean, rugged, perhaps handsome looking man, he only looked hard and unyielding to me. But I lifted my chin just a hint and waited for him to speak
"I heard you were sick, are you feeling better now?" He asked briskly; he returned the dagger to its sheath and left it on the mantle before walking over to me.
"Ha- err Yes sir, I am feeling much better. Thank you." I answered in surprise.
"Good good," he nodded distractedly. "Ahh Nicco, I know I haven't been the best of fathers to you. I should have... err... done more with you."
Only a concentrated effort on my part, kept my mouth from dropping open. This was Arm's Master Doemin apologizing! The mere fact that he was apologizing was astounding but to be expressing regret for a failing was mind-boggling and for a full minute, my mind went completely blank.
"Well frankly, Lehi thinks you're lonely or you wouldn't be seeking out the company of peasant ruffians," he continued pacing back to the fireplace. "If it weren't for your blasted hands, I could be training you."
"Ah," I thought, "and then I'd be seeking out the company of high born ruffians."
"So I've decided," Father paused dramatically and I wondered if I was supposed to swoon at his announcement. "I'm going to Fordingham in two days to buy equipment. You are coming with me to do the writing and reading and all of those things you do."
"What?" I exclaimed wondering what "those things you do" were exactly. Father glared at me. "I'm sorry, sir, you surprised me."
"You're coming with us, I need a competent person who can read and write. I'll be trusting you to draw up the sale contract and do any other writing that needs doing."
"But what about the Fordingham scrivener? Can't he do it?"
Father made a dismissing gesture. His decision was made; Arms Master Doemin was well known for never changing his mind once he'd decided on a course of action. Consequently, all my protests about my own work, the Fordingham scrivener's loss of fees or anything else were brushed aside. Father was determined I would go and that was final.
Father's final words before dismissing me were to start packing. I bowed and left quickly before Ralph could have a chance to grab me again. I stomped down the hall and up the stairs back to my room, fury oozing out of my pores. I was livid at Father; this was clearly a very thinly veiled attempt to separate me from Tamas. And on top of all that, I was certain the scrivener in Fordingham would be quite put out at my presence, not to mention having his fee halved, and would make things difficult for Father.
Two days departure time barely gave me time to finish the manuscript I was currently working on, not to mention make certain I had clothes, arrange for a horse, and a myriad of other small things. Mother took pity on me and lent me Melly to do my errands and make sure I had clean linens.
In all the chaos, I had no time to run into town, and I half expected to have Tamas on my threshold, as I was quite certain my heartbeat had to be pounding like a hammer. Desperate to get a message to Tamas, I ended up at the garrison smithy pouring out my frustration to Chohee, who summoned one of his brothers to carry the message into town for me. The boy, a lad of about 10, looked pleased to go and I gave him a copper, telling him to buy something sweet in town. He grinned and thanked me bowing before sprinting off without a backward look.
"I'm sorry, I've taken away your help," I said miserably.
"Nah nah, e'll be glad o' tha chance ta get away." Chohee grinned. "We'll ear all `bout town tonight, e'll be all agoggle o'er it."
Chohee laid his hammer down and studied me with bright eyes. He really was a handsome man with a well-proportioned face and broad smiling mouth. I suspected he saw a lot more than he'd let on he'd seen and from my first experience with the smithy up to now, I'd seen his father consult him on several issues. I was certain he'd be an able craft master in his own right.
"Yeh love im." He didnt ask, Chohee knew the answer.
I flushed and nodded. His eyes swept down me and I suddenly felt ridiculous standing in his forge in my expensive clothes and dyed leather boots. Chohee nodded.
"Well, Ah think, and tis strictly my opinion, thah yeh'll be good fer im. Fair devastated e was last week when yeh gave im the what for." He grinned. "Ah've never seen im so humble, right flattened `e was."
I flushed again. And suddenly I was pouring out my frustration to the smith and my fears over what my family was scheming. Chohee listened, his eyes slightly narrowed. He seemed to understand that I wasn't asking him for a solution or even advice; I just needed someone to confide in. When I finally slowed to a stop, he nodded and commiserated gently. Chohee wasn't a man for offering pity or platitudes; for that, I was grateful and I left the forge feeling lighter and a tiny bit less miserable. I found out later, that soon as I left he sent another brother running to town with a message from him to Tamas.
The day we were supposed to leave dawned rainy and cold. Father's mood and temper appeared to match the sky and it was decided we would wait until the rain stopped to depart. For myself, I was relieved as traveling in rain on horseback was guaranteed to make me stiff and sore. Fordingham was a two-day ride and if we couldn't find an inn, we'd be camping out... in the rain. I shuddered at the thought, sitting in my room wrapped in a blanket and huddled close to the brazier for warmth.
A light rap on my door surprised me and brought me back to my small room. Puzzled I rose to my feet and started to the door, however, before I could get there the door opened and a heavily muffled figure stepped through followed by a lean dark haired boy of about twelve.
"Tamas!" I exclaimed.
"Hai," he said pushing the hood back and flipping the cloak over his shoulders to drip behind him. His braid tumbled down his shoulder. "Why aren't you in bed?"
He scowled so fiercely, I had to swallow a laugh. The bruise on his face had faded to an ugly shade of yellowish green around the eye, which lent an extra amount of ferocity to his scowl. I stepped toward him letting the blanket slip off my shoulders. Tamas scooped me into a backbreaking hug and breathtaking kiss. Heat flowed off him warming me to the marrow of my bones.
"Hah, I am so happy to see you up, I've been half out o' my mind with worry," he whispered softly.
"I'm feeling much better or rather I was until someone half squeezed the life out of me." I grinned so he'd know I was teasing him.
Tamas snorted and kissed me again. Heat flooded my body and I shivered in pleasure. I clung to the front of his doublet as my knees turned to jelly. At that moment, I felt the safest I had ever felt in my life, and the happiest.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a dark head and jumped back in surprise, suddenly remembering the boy who had followed Tamas into the room. The boy and I studied each other curiously. He was dark haired and swarthy skinned, putting me in mind of a Greek scholar I had once met. His eyes were the blackest I'd ever seen, and I wondered briefly if he could see with them. I looked from him to Tamas and then back to him.
"His name is Bitte," Tamas said, "His mother is a Gypsy and his father, probably lives in a castle or on a manor somewhere."
The boy made a low strangling noise as if he wanted to spit. A by-blow, I thought. I may have been naive to my own brother's liaisons but I wasn't stupid. Plenty of illegitimate children rise to honored positions near their fathers, especially with royalty. However, I doubted any noble would claim a child fathered on a Gypsy, no matter how generous he felt. That thought left me feeling very sad and disgusted with the activities of my class.
"Bitte is here to be your houseboy," Tamas said.
"My what!?"
"Houseboy, servant," Tamas paused. "Apprentice if you prefer, Bitte speaks about four different languages, won't that help you with all that writin' an studyin' you do?"
"Well speaking four languages is one thing what about reading?"
Tamas flushed bright red and behind him, the boy, Bitte, smothered a laugh in his billowing sleeve. The boy bowed grandly. Someone had taught him pretty manners, to go with his attractive face.
"The Tlacha said you needed someone to take care of you when he couldn't be here. He has always done well for my people and my family, so I offered my services." He bowed again.
The boy's voice was soft and low with an accent I couldn't place. His stance was relaxed but alert and he reminded me of a cat. In spite of myself, I was enchanted with him. And very intrigued to know what Tamas had used to entice him out of his caravan and into a castle. I made a mental note to do some questioning of my own.
"Tlacha?" I said tripping over the unfamiliar word.
"Means Fire Lord in Gypsy," Tamas said unhooking his cloak. He hung it on the hook by the door next to my own cloak.
"However, the point being, it is intolerable to allow my mate to live like this. And when I make Master, I will be taking you out of here, with or without your parents' permission. Until then allow Bitte to make things easier for you." He tipped my head up. "Please?"
I looked into the eyes of a boy frustrated by his lack of power to take care the one he loved. It made me light headed knowing he had been concerned and so determined to solve what he felt was an injustice. I smiled at him and relief shone on his face. The tension flowed out of his body and he shed the skin of an adult to become a playful boy again.
"All right, if it makes you feel better. But how am I supposed to explain his presence to Mother or to the rest of the castle inhabitants?" I asked feeling rather overwhelmed.
"I hadn't thought of that."
Tamas looked chagrined. He started pacing and mumbling. My room never big always felt even tinier with the giant smith in it and having him pace was a new experience in claustrophobia. I caught his arm and shook my head.
"Never mind, I'll think of something."
I turned to the boy and made a bow. He looked surprised, and then a cheeky smile lit up his face. He really was an attractive child, I thought. It would be a nice to have a companion since I was certain I'd never be able to treat him as a servant.
"Please forgive my abruptness just now," I said. "Obviously this was a bit of a surprise for me. I am Nicco Doeminin, please just call me Nicco."
He smiled showing a row of shiny white teeth, "I am Bitte."
At this point, I wasn't quite certain what to do. I didn't want to dismiss Bitte like a servant but I did want to be alone with Tamas. Bitte, himself, seemed to notice it and excused himself, shutting the door behind him. I took a half step toward the door but Tamas' hand on my shoulder stopped me. I turned to him.
"Your eyes are full of questions," he said.
"Mm, yes, I'm not stupid, I'm sure he's here as much for you as me," I said.
Tamas laughed, "I can't fool you, eh?"
He wrapped me in his arms. I leaned against his chest; the soft silk of his hair stroked my cheek. My body ached for his touch and I wanted to rip his clothes off just to feel his skin and the heat of his fire. Tamas' arms tightened around me.
"Nicco," he said into my hair so softly I could barely hear him. "I was so determined not to fall in love until after I became a Master smith. Granfa's health and Mum being alone and Kinna needing a man to raise him, they already tied me to the forge in ever tightening knots. I didn't want anything more to bind me to this place or make me unwilling to journey."
"But I was sure I could leave Granfa and Mum safely once Teru made journeyman. Kinna doesn't know yet, but I plan to take him to Wallingfirth with me. His mum agrees it's the best."
He paused, a pause so long it scared me. Twisting in his arms, I got one arm loose and brushed a tear from his uninjured eye. I stared at the tiny drop of liquid on my finger. Tamas sighed; a shudder ran through his body. He let go of me and stepped over to the window. Leaning against the frame, he stared moodily out. I sat on the edge of the bed wondering what was going on in his head.
"Then one day," he said still looking out the window. "Into my forge wandered this old young man, with eyes like a doe and much too big for his face. Jumping like a scared rabbit, he struck me dumb. I'd never seen anyone so beautiful and so unaware of just how lovely he was."
He stepped away from the window and crossed to me in a single stride. Tamas squatted down in front of me and caught my chin in his hand. He tipped it up and studied my profile a moment before letting go.
"Make no mistake, I've seen beautiful people, I know I'm considered by most that see me to be breathtaking but this man had no idea what he was." Tamas took a breath. "At first I was charmed and thought `this would be a fun way to spend the remaining time I have here' but then something happened."
He stood up and backed up until he reached the opposite wall. He leaned against the wall and crossed his arms. Looking up, he started talking to the ceiling.
"I watched that beauty explode in anger at me and stomp away and it felt as if I'd been stabbed in the gut. And then I watched another man grab him roughly and my vision went fiery. I've been scrabbling and fighting since I was Kinna's age but this was the first time, I saw fire and flame and wanted to set fire to everything around me. It scared me, perhaps as much as it scared everyone else."
Tamas turned his head back to me. Tears cascaded down his face, the bruised eye looked even more horrific. He sniffled and looked embarrassed.
"I couldn't leave you, not without knowing someone I trust was here to look after you. And I can't let you go anywhere I can't go without having someone there to watch over you. I've known Bitte since he was very small, his Gran is the tribe headwoman, I trust him to watch and act if necessary. He's smart and quick. He won't be me but..."
His voice trailed off and I catapulted off the bed to wrap my arms around his neck. Tamas stumbled backwards and we ended up in a heap on the floor. The resulting noise caused Bitte to open the door and stick his head in from the hallway. He took stock of the situation, Tamas on the floor holding his head and me straddling his hips; red with embarrassment and shut the door quietly with a grin.
"Hai, hai, yeh always do things that shock me," Tamas said rubbing a spot on his temple.
"Sorry," I mumbled.
I started to get up but Tamas' hands grasped my waist and pulled me back down. One of his hands slid up my back causing me to moan softly in pleasure. His hand burrowed into my hair and pulled my head down to his lips. After that, there was no need for words.
Tamas left a short time later. Bitte returned as soon as he'd left and found me tugging my doublet straight again. He smiled and walked over to me; briskly he pulled my doublet down and smoothed out the shoulders, checking the sleeve ties.
"So you and the Tlacha are like that, huh?" He asked. I flushed and mumbled an affirmative. He shrugged.
"I already thought so, since it'd have to be something pretty powerful to make him worry about anyone living in a castle. Tlacha is pretty scornful of those that put on airs." Bitte looked up at me. "But I can see his interest here, you're anything but noblesse."
His impish grin made me think of Kinna and that reminded me of Tamas' plans to leave in the winter. The knowledge that he'd be taking Kinna left a hollow feeling in my stomach, which I pushed aside for the moment. Winter was still a long way off and right now, I had to figure out what to do with Bitte and how to explain his presence.