Chapter Eight - Saying Goodbye
The rest of the summer meandered along hot and humid as usual. We took to going to the river to cool down and bathe after sparring practice. The river was a popular place, as the days got longer and sweatier. More than once, we surprised a group of girls, either by walking up on them or them walking up on us. At first, I would dive like a scared rabbit behind some rock or tree or whomever happened to be closest to me, but the less modest village-raised boys would just shout and wave at the girls, and after awhile I started waving as well.
"You're doing more than just writing at the smithy," Melly said to me one morning in late August, while repairing a rip in my hose.
I choked and sputtered on my ale. What did she know? I was eternally grateful to her for covering for me with Mother about the Midsummer rite of fire. It was very late the day after when Bitte and I returned to the castle and I was expecting Mother to be furious. Instead, Melly met us at the castle gates and informed us that we were supposed to be down with "griping of the guts" - in other words puking- and we'd better get inside fast before someone saw us and started asking questions. I hugged and kissed her cheek and fled to my room, Bitte at my heels.
"What do you mean, doing more than `just writing'," I asked warily.
"I've had to let out the seams in two of your doublets this week and your hose is looking a wee tight across the thighs. You haven't grown this much since you were fifteen." The sun coming in through the window made her brown hair shine with golden highlights and I wondered why I'd never noticed what a pretty woman she was, with good cheekbones and clear skin.
"Oh," I said with a smile. "Tamas is teaching me to use a quarterstaff."
"Really? Well, sweet heaven, that ought to show Milord what's what!" Melly grinned at me.
"Well, I'd rather Father didn't notice, if it's all the same to you. I can't imagine him being pleased about being shown up by a peasant."
"A peasant? Oh, Nicco, Master smiths have rank equal at least to that of a knight. Tamas is no mere peasant, what exactly DO you read?" She asked with an exasperated sigh. I mumbled something about ancient and exotic manuscripts; Melly just shook her head at me.
"Give me your hand," she said holding out her right hand.
Puzzled, I placed my hand in hers and waited to see what she'd do with it. Melly held my hand up and studied it, poking the fingers and spreading them with her own fingers. I winced a couple times, but pain in my hands was, for me, a normal occurrence. Melly let go of my hand with a smile.
"It looks as if you're hands are working better these days," she said softly.
"I can hold better than I used to," I said nodding. "But I still drop things easily and I can't tie laces, Bitte does that for me."
"I always wondered if most of your problem was in your head and in Milord's actions," Melly said gathering up her sewing. "Well, I'm off to attend to your Mother; I'll speak to her about new hose for you."
Melly threw the newly mended hose at me and sauntered out the door while I sat at my table open mouthed in surprise. Bitte returned a few moments later and roused me from my shock.
Fortunately, for me, Father and Lehi spent the most of the summer and well into the autumn away on the Continent as part of His Lordship's entourage. His Lordship was there on diplomatic business for the crown. Mother and the other ladies of the castle were eagerly awaiting their return with new fabrics and the latest in court styles. I was just glad to have him and the noxious Ralph gone so I had more freedom to go back and forth between town and castle.
One morning in early September, Bitte and I arrived at the smithy to find it empty. Surprised and a more than a little concerned, we ran through the building and into the courtyard, where we stopped in surprise. A scowling Gisela was stirring a large cauldron of a noxious smelling substance, which I recognized as daub when I got closer. Across the front of the small house a wooden scaffold stood, Teru and Tamas on the top near the peak of the roof. Ropes securing them ran up onto the roof to a point I couldn't see from the ground. They were slathering the thick daub on the repaired wattle at the edges of the timbers and along the eaves. Noah was climbing up the side of the scaffolding with a bucket in one hand.
"Good morrow, Nicco, Bitte," Nayne said stepping out of the house. Her hair was coiled up on her head under a faded headscarf and she wore an old faded kirtle, the skirt limp and threadbare from multiple washings.
"Good morrow," I said kissing her cheek. "I thought the house looked ready for a new layer of plaster."
"Hai, they were up at daybreak chipping the old out and putting in new wattle," she peered up shading her hands. She peered around puzzled.
"Nicco!" Tamas' shout was quite likely heard all the way up at the city gates. "Strip down and come help!"
"Tamas! You can't expect him to climb up there!" Nayne said sharply. "And where's your da?"
Tamas pointed around the side of the house; Nayne and I peered around the edge. Kinder was sitting near the edge of the eaves digging loose plaster out of the wall with a hammer and chisel. That he was sitting on nothing but air was only slightly more disturbing than the rather rude song he was singing. Nayne sighed and shook her head.
"Well at least it's getting done," she said to me. I grinned at her.
Back around in front, Bitte had stripped to his waist and I was surprised to see how much muscle definition he'd gained from practicing with the quarterstaff. His dark honey skin shone warmly against the whitewashed house. He grabbed a trowel and a small bucket and ducked under the scaffold to where Kinna was working applying a new layer of daub.
"Tamas, I think I'll work down here," I called up to him.
Clumsily unbuttoning my doublet, I peeled out of it and my shirt. Nayne took my clothes and carried them into the house. Thoughtfully I studied a purple bruise on my left bicep; perhaps Melly was right, I was getting more muscle. The thought pleased me and I threw myself wholeheartedly into replastering the house. I found that I could hold the trowel handle well enough, with both hands, to spread the daub then go back and smooth the goop. It took a little bit of trial and error to get an even steady motion while retaining my grip on the trowel.
By evening, we were tired, smelly and very hungry. I had a bad case of yuck mouth and wanted something sweet to rid me of it. One of the main components of daub is cow dung, along with crushed rock, river sand and straw or hay; after a day of handling that and having it slop down my arms and chest, I really wanted a bath and a drink. Nayne and Gisela brought us hot water, soap and rags for drying off. While we cleaned up, they set up the table and brought out fresh fish, lentil soup, bread and a variety of fruit and berries. Everyone dug in with enthusiasm and hearty appetites.
"And tomorrow," Tamas whispered in my ear. "We whitewash the house!"
I groaned and popped him on the shoulder, but we showed up the next day ready to paint and enjoy the day. This time we conveniently came down with a nasty rash until we were able to wash the whitewash off our hands and faces. Mother most definitely did not want anyone sporting an unknown rash anywhere near her, so I was free to spend my time at the forge without worrying that she might suddenly take a whim to see me.
Slowly the days became shorter and the nights colder. Bitte, Melly and I hung heavy tapestries Mother no longer used, in my room, to keep out drafts. Heavy blankets and warm clothing came out of storage and festooned airing stands in courtyards, in both the town and the castle. Of course, Mother expected me to help Melly with her things, which left Bitte with the burden of getting my winter things ready almost entirely by himself. Bitte only rolled his eyes at my apologies and went on hanging up the blankets.
As Tamas' birthday, September 21, approached, I started to plan a small dinner for the two of us alone in my room. I bought a fresh duck and talked Cook, who looked at me wide eyed in shock, because I'd never before put forth such an effort on anything, into preparing it. Much to my pleasure she whipped up a feast, good enough to serve His Lordship, roast duck seasoned with pepper and nutmeg, then cooked in wine, mint sauce, vegetables and fresh fruit. I think I was more surprised than Tamas, when Bitte brought the dishes up to the room.
I made Tamas take off his doublet so he wouldn't get grease all over it. He laughed and teased me about being a perfect wife, but he took off the doublet nevertheless. As usual, his shirt was loosely laced and not tied at all; I could see a wide strip of curling red hair and a light sprinkling of freckles. Tamas was lavish in his pleasure over the feast and his eagerness to eat, though it was awkward to try to eat with his lips nibbling my ears or his fingers popping bits of duck into my mouth. Somehow, despite distractions, we managed to devour the whole feast, except a sliver of breast set aside for Bitte, who appeared promptly as we finished eating. He cleared the table before disappearing out the door with a backwards cheeky grin. I shook my head and sighed.
"The serving girls spoil him horridly," I said, looking at the door. "Wonder how long it will be before we have black haired, black eyed children running around the castle?"
"Probably not long," Tamas said over the rim of his mug. "My first time was at thirteen, and I reckon Bitte to be about that now; gypsies count age oddly, you're a year old, they say, at birth."
"Hmm," I murmured taking a step toward the door. "Maybe I should have a talk with him."
Tamas' hand caught my wrist, hot and soothing; it instantly erased the ache of impending winter from my joints. I sighed softly and closed my eyes. I heard the clunk of the earthenware mug on the tabletop and then Tamas' arms wrapped around my waist pulling me to him. His bright hair against my dark doublet shimmered like a crown in the candle light.
"Why are we talkin' about Bitte?" Tamas asked petulantly, his arms tightening around my waist. "Whose birthday is it anyway?"
I grinned and wrapped my arms around his shoulders. He turned sideways on the clothes chest, and then slid onto the bed, pulling me along with him. I narrowly missed cracking my skull on the wall but strangely enough didn't panic at falling, perhaps I felt safe in his arms. Tamas' lips on my throat and his hands on my body were lighting a fire in me hotter than the pillar of fire at the midsummer rite.
Tamas divested me of my clothing in record time before peeling off his own shirt; kneeling on the bed between my legs, looking down at me, he suddenly made me feel shy and I squirmed in embarrassment. He ran his fingers lightly down my chest to my groin and I groaned in pleasure. Tamas licked his lips and leaned forward; my head exploded in fire and flame as he teased my cock with lips and fingers. I cried out, my fingers tangling in his hair. One of his hands slid up my body to rub my nipples. I twisted and thrashed under him, my back arching pushing my groin into his face. Unintentionally I pulled his hair and heard him hiss in pain but I couldn't release my hands. Behind my eyelids fire danced as orgasm shook my body. Afterwards I lay panting and grasping for breath.
"Sorry," I panted. "I was fast."
"Mmm," he murmured sitting up, his own cock hard against his hose.
I reached for his hose but he caught my hand and raised it to his lips, kissing the palm lightly. Tamas shifted to a kneeling position and pulled me onto his lap, his hands grasping my buttocks. Pressed against his body, I could feel his hard cock against my butt and my own cock hardening again. I grasped his shoulders and balanced on my toes.
"Touch me," he said hoarsely.
I leaned down and kissed him as my hands ran down his back and around to his chest. Soft chest hair tickled my fingertips and belly. He sighed in pleasure. Running a finger across the row of freckles below his collarbone, I felt his cock jerk against my leg. I spread my fingers the best I could and I ran my hands down his chest over the hard ridges of muscle and the warm curves of his pecs. Tamas moaned again and whispered my name in a hoarse baritone. Remembering how good it felt to have my nipples teased, I rubbed my thumbs over his and smiled at his shiver of pleasure. Tamas' hands tightened on my buttocks and he rocked my body across his lap stroking his cock with my butt. Surprised I grabbed his shoulders for balance.
"No," he breathed out. "Don' stop, keep doin' what yeh're doin'."
Shyly I rubbed his nipples harder and he moaned again. Once again, his hands on my buttocks stroked my body against his hard cock. Following his lead, I flexed my legs and pressed closer. His eyes widened in surprise and he grinned.
"T'gether wi me," he said softly.
This time when he pushed me towards his knees, I relaxed, hands on his shoulders; as he pulled forward, I moved forward. Heat flooded my body and I moaned in pleasure, my voice mixing with his. It only took a couple more times before we had a rhythm worked out, and our bodies rubbed against each other repeatedly as our cries got hoarse and more urgent.
Tamas made a low growling noise and flipped me onto my back. He dropped between my legs with a grunt and pressed his aching cock into my hip. Harder and harder, he ground it against me as I cried out and pounded on his back with my fists. His movements were jerky and he growled again. It didn't take long for his orgasm and he reared up, his hands on either side of my head. He threw his head back, arched his back, and ground his crotch against my hip. A cry of pleasure escaped his lips as his body jerked against mine. My second shot followed only seconds later, my body pressing up against his.
Tamas stayed, as he had in the past, until just before dawn, when Bitte woke him and escorted him out of the castle. I burrowed deeper into my blankets and slept for another hour. I woke up slowly, my mind noting that the night before had been a new moon and one was supposed to stay inside on moonless nights, as that was when spirits, goblins and other nasties walked the Earth. I wondered idly if a sexual encounter with a dragon was included in the list of dire happenings.
The rest of September idled along and soon it was October. The leaves had started turning red, orange and yellow and mornings required breaking the ice in the washbasin. In the past, I watched the approach of winter with sorrow, as the world turned cold and my body turned stiff and sore. However, this year I dreaded it even more than usual, as it meant that Tamas would be leaving and I wasn't sure how I would deal with suddenly being alone again. I tried to find comfort in reminding myself that I still had Melly, Bitte and the others at the smithy, but it was a hollow comfort at best.
Kinder left again shortly after the first frost. Nayne told me he was headed to the Southern part of the Continent to soak up the sun and the fine wine. I asked her why she didn't go with him and she looked shocked.
"But I have a son to raise and Da to look after. I can't just go toodling about," she said fiercely and I decided that Kinder was quite correct in thinking Tamas learned everything he knew about being responsible from her.
"Well Tamas is nearly grown and Grandfather has Teru and Noah here to take care of him, so maybe next summer?" I said softly. Nayne looked puzzled but didn't pursue it further.
It felt odd to me to imagine the smithy without Kinder around, in just a few months he had made his mark on the place and I, for one, was going to miss him a lot over the winter. Tamas told me that Kinder had royally ripped into him for the near miss tragedy at the Midsummer rite and Tamas had taken the lecture meekly. His voice showed more awe than resentment of Kinder's words and I wondered if that was the kind of paternal love, Tamas wanted from Kinder. Of course, Nayne had chewed him out as well, but coming from Kinder, it had more impact, as one expects mothers to react fiercely anytime one does something daring.
The end of October brought the annual autumn meeting of the Smith's Guild. Their banquet and promotion ceremony took place on Saturday the 21rst, of course, not being a smith I couldn't go. Instead, I waited eagerly at Tamas' home along with Mistress Jane, Molly, and the many children, the youngest of which fell asleep before the men could return, waiting to hear if Chohee and Teru's promotions were accepted.
Despite the cold, everyone still awake poured out of the house into the courtyard at the sound of somewhat drunken voices. A ring of tiny flames floated above the smiths as they stepped through the door. Chohee came through the smithy door into the courtyard first and I knew by the grin on his face that he'd made Master. Molly knew it too and even before he had swung her up into his arms, she was crying. I had not realized, when I met her after returning from Fordingham that she was pregnant, but now there was no mistaking it. The baby wedged firmly between her and Chohee but it didn't stop him from swinging her around in a circle.
Tamas supporting Grandfather on his arm and followed by Teru and Noah came in on Master Madoc's heels. The poor Mastersmith tried to school his normally austere face but to no avail, he kept breaking out into a grin; pride in his son and his journeyman oozing out of every pore. Nayne crossed the courtyard and helped Tamas bring her father inside the house out of the cold air. Eagerly I ran to Teru and grabbed his hand.
"What about you, Teru? Did you make journeyman?" I babbled excitedly.
"Ah well, me now," he said with a shy grin and that hand behind his head gesture of his. "Tis all well and good, that I stay where I am."
My heart sank, I was so sure he'd make journeyman. He lacked Tamas or Master Madoc's creativity and eagle eye for design, but his skills in already established venues was second to none. I was certain that he and Tamas would make a name for themselves that would reach well beyond the confines of the village. Tamas elbowed him in the ribs.
"Don' tease Nicco, yeh daft idiot, lookit his face, his heart is breakin fer yeh now," Tamas said with a grin.
"What!" I said puzzled.
"O' course, he made journeyman," Tamas said. "Was there really any doubt on either o' them?"
"Teru!" I launched myself at him and hugged him. "You scared me right then!"
I stepped back and punched Teru in the shoulder as hard as I could for scaring me. He doubled over and for a moment I wondered if I'd hurt him, as that was were his scars from Tamas' fire were located. I leaned forward and his arm looped around my shoulders almost knocking me over. Tamas laughed and extricated me from Teru's grasp, his arm around my waist. After that bit of horseplay, everyone started talking at once with much backslapping and hearty laughter as we moved back into the kitchen where it was warmer. I had taken some of the money Father had given me, bought a keg of good ale and soon the ale was flowing. Nayne and Mistress Jane, along with Molly and Dorrie had spent the day baking, so there was fresh bread and pastries to eat. Everyone made a toast to the lucky guys and their families, and the general feeling was one of happiness.
Tamas' arm around my waist urged me to follow him and so I did. He scooped up a small jug of ale as we passed through the main room and up the stairs to his room. The room was cold but a snap of his fingers and the brazier lit. I shivered and Tamas pulled me toward the bed; I followed feeling suddenly shy. Tamas unbuttoned his doublet and laid it on the small clothes chest before he sat down with his back against the headboard, he shifted slightly settling between two of the upright metal bars in the headboard. Tamas gestured to me to join him; he patted the bed between his legs. Holding out his hand, I handed my mug to him to keep from spilling it as I climbed into the bed.
I sat between his knees and leaned back against his broad chest feeling the heat of his fire seep into my body. Tamas pulled up a down filled quilt and tucked it around my hips before pouring more ale in both mugs and I relaxed against him, his arm around my waist and sipped my ale. Tamas' heartbeat, in my ears and against my back, lulled me into a drifting state and I felt as if I were floating. Tamas leaned forward and brushed my ear with the tip of his tongue. I shivered and twisted around to look up at him.
"When do you leave?" I asked softly.
"Four days when Master Colin goes north again," he answered solemnly, his arm tightening around my waist.
"Oh," I said unable to think of anything else to say. Tears prickled at my eyelids and my stomach felt as if it had just fallen over a cliff.
"I'm eager ta go," Tamas whispered looking past me at some point in the middle of the room. "But I don' want ta leave yeh. I want yeh ta come wi' me."
"I can't," I said. "How would I explain that to Mother and, and..."
My voice broke and I swallowed a sob. I finished my ale and wrapped my arms around Tamas' neck. His arms squeezed me so hard I wondered if I'd pop, but after a minute he stopped and raised his head.
"I'd find a way, if yeh'd come wi' me. I'd find a way ta let yeh stay wi me."
"I know, but I can't cause disharmony between you and your Master or distract you from learning as much as you can. You are much too close to becoming a Master to chuck it all out now. I'll be okay, I've got Bitte to look after me and you just go and learn what you need to know," I finished with a sob.
Now I was crying, tears rolled down my face and I couldn't talk, I could only cling to him and shake. Tamas, too, was crying, his arms tight around me.
"Wait fer me, Nicco." He whispered. "Wait fer me, I'll be home by midsummer, I swear."
I nodded my head against his chest. I could hear his heartbeat pounding in my ear and feel soft chest hair against my cheek. We stayed like that for a long time before finally falling asleep. I woke once in the night to see a pair of boys curled up on the end of the bed. I smiled and tucked the blanket around them before snuggling back down against Tamas' side.
I awoke to the church bell ringing and knew I had barely enough time to get home to accompany Mother to Mass. Master Madoc and his family had left sometime in the night and I expected to see them in the Church. Bitte and I flew out with hurried good-byes. I didn't want to leave, I wanted to cling to Tamas, but I was an adult with obligations, not a spoiled child. Nevertheless, it still hurt to walk through the village gates.
I did indeed see Master Madoc's family in Church. Mistress Jane and Molly resplendent in red houppelandes with tiny red kirtles on Sarah and Marin. Dorrie attracted plenty of young boys' attention in her new red hood that went so charmingly with her blushes. Our priest Father Dominic was a likeable man fond of his entertainments and diligent in commending members of his flock on their accomplishments. Therefore, before Mass he announced Chohee's promotion to Mastersmith and said a short prayer of thanks.
The following two days were busy ones for Tamas, I hardly saw him as he, and Kinna prepared to leave with Master Colin. Kinna, who only learned after the banquet that he was going with Tamas, greeted the journey in equal parts of excitement and fear. This was the first time he'd been away from his mother and siblings for more than a day. However, he was quite excited about the prospect of having Tamas almost entirely to himself for an unspecified amount of time.
Tamas slipped in through my door the night before leaving and wrapped me in a hug. Our lovemaking that night was frantic, desperate and tinged with sorrow. So much could happen in eight months, injury, and illness: the ever-present threat of plague. The fear that one or both of them wouldn't return wavered in the back of my mind like childhood taunts and I clung to Tamas like a child. It wasn't until long after they'd left that I remembered Tamas telling me that dragons don't catch human sickness. Still it didn't lay to rest my fears for Kinna.
Long after the midnight chime, I lay, propped on one arm, memorizing every inch of Tamas' face, and praying that morning wouldn't come. Never in my life had I been so unwilling to see the horizon light up and watching sky turn from black to pale gold to blue through the slightly open shutters made my stomach ache. I felt as if my beating heart were being ripped from my chest.
"Nicco?" Bitte said softly.
"I'm awake," I said.
"Hai, and all night too," Bitte said, rising from his bed.
He dressed slowly in the dim light and gathered up Tamas' clothes piling them on the clothes chest. Holding his finger to his lips, he opened the door and ducked out. I sighed and dropped my head to Tamas' shoulder. He stirred and his hand came up to cradle my head. I felt the tears I'd been denying all night prickle at my eyes. Tamas' arm pulled me tight against him. For several minutes, we stayed like that, frozen in time, together.
Tamas sat up and swung his legs over the side of the bed, his arm still around my waist. I leaned on his shoulder trying hard not to sniffle like a child. Tamas tipped my head up and kissed me, a long, passionate kiss that promised more to come. Breaking off the kiss, he reached up and wiped away the tears on my cheeks. He studied the tears a moment before he licked them off his finger. I shivered and he pulled up the quilt wrapping it around me before standing up and starting to dress. I watched him move, smooth like water flowing in creek, no wasted movements at all. Bitte tapped on the door lightly and Tamas answered in a soft voice. Bitte came in and nodded to Tamas, all was clear in the courtyard.
Tamas squatted down in front of me and crushed me, still wrapped in the blanket, to his chest. Heat flooded out of him warming my joints and body. The heat made me sleepy and I felt my eyes start to close. Somewhere far away I felt a breath on my ear and heard a deep rumbling voice.
"I will return, Nicco, I have promised you and I won't fail. I will be a man who deserves you."
My eyes closed and I slid into a slumber, lulled by the heat of the firedrake holding me. My head drooped forward onto his shoulder and I felt a hand stroke my cheek softly. Tamas eased me down onto the pillows and wrapped the blankets around me tighter.
"You keep a close eye on him," I heard him say. "I don' trust these castle folk. Send me a message if there's anything yeh think suspicious, anything at all."
"I will, Tlacha," Bitte answered. "I swear I won't fail you."
"Good boy," Tamas said and then he was gone and as the door shut, I dropped into a deep exhausted sleep.
Life for me went back, more or less, to the way it had been, like waking from a good dream. I threw myself into transcribing and tried to ignore the loneliness gnawing at me. Bitte and I practiced with our quarterstaffs in the empty area behind the garrison smithy. I had decided against going into town, it was getting cold and the days were so short, it was better to give Teru and Noah plenty of time to work. I wondered if Grandfather would take on a new apprentice to help make up for the loss of two workers.
Thus, I was in the castle archive, one afternoon about two weeks after Tamas' departure, working on a copy of an ancient manuscript commissioned by a local baron, for his favorite minister, when Bitte brought me a familiar looking cloth bag. With trembling fingers, I opened it slowly and found a folded piece of paper and a silver ring with a dragon stamped into it. The inside of the ring had a scratched `K' and nothing else, Kinder's work.
My heart leaped to my mouth and for a moment, my own heartbeat deafened me as I unfolded the paper. My name on the top and Tamas' on the bottom was all I could see for several minutes. Abruptly I dashed the tears away, and took a deep breath. I was no helpless girl, if Mother didn't cry when Father left, what business did I have mooning about like a lovesick serving girl? Privately I admitted that I was certain Mother didn't feel for Father as I did for Tamas but that was neither here nor there. I smoothed out the paper on my desk and peered at the hastily scrawled letters. Someday I was going to have to give Tamas lessons in writing legibly!
Nicco,
We arrived in Wallingford safely and in good time. I can hear your heartbeat even this far away. I miss you most of all, even more than I miss my own forge. Master Colin is a good man, but I don't like his wife. She's a shrew and nags me every time she gets near me. So I ignore her. (I snorted reading that, I could imagine Tamas doing just that!) Don't forget to practice with the quarterstaff, I will be home soon and you don't want to be beaten TOO badly! I better go the Gypsy outside is getting nervous. Take care. Stay warm.
Tamas
I shook my head, so very like Tamas, straight to the point and nary a wasted word. I sighed and folded it up before tucking it into my sleeve. I'd put it in my clothes chest with the first letter when I returned to my room. Bitte crossed the room and touched my arm lightly.
"Nicco, the person, who gave that to me is still here, if you should wish to answer."
"You mean send a letter back to Tamas?" I said excitedly.
"Hai, they'll head north after here and deliver it in a week or so depending on how fast they go."
I fumbled through my book and managed to rip out a page without tearing it too much. Dipping my quill into the ink, I paused trying to organize my thoughts. This was truly a gift from heaven, to be able to send him a letter occasionally and get one back as well. Slowly I started to write.
Tamas:
I'm so pleased to hear you are safe. Thank you for the ring, if you see Kinder before I do tell him Thank You from me. It's cold here but I guess it's colder up there. I'd rather go where it's warmer. I've been busy in the archive and should have many things to tell you when you get back. Bitte has grown; he can wear my old hose now. Melly talked me into buying pale blue cloth for new hose; you won't recognize me when you come back!
We've been practicing at the smithy. Tev and Mik sometimes join in. Be nice to Master Colin's wife, it can't be easy for her to suddenly have to take in two growing boys. Don't cause her trouble. I better send this now it'll be dark soon. Work hard, I know you can be the finest Mastersmith the guild has ever known.
Nicco
I folded the paper and started to place it in the cloth bag, when a thought occurred to me and I paused to think it over. I remembered seeing my sister Sarrit cut a lock of her hair, then tie it with a ribbon, and place it in a letter to be delivered to an admirer. For a moment, I was puzzled on where to acquire a ribbon and then jumping down from my stool, I strode to the door, Bitte at my heels. I found Melly in her closet sewing and she looked at me as if I'd lost whatever few wits I still possessed when I asked her for a ribbon.
"A ribbon? Whatever for, Nicco?" She asked with a puzzled expression.
"Um, well, I err," I stuttered flushing bright red.
"Oh never mind," she said with a sigh. "When you look like that I know it's something to do with Tamas."
She put down her sewing, rose from her chair and walked to a small chest in the back of the room, while I sputtered in embarrassment. Melly knelt down and lifted the lid of the chest. After a moment, she stood up and brought me a slightly faded blue ribbon.
"It's not a new one, I hope you don't mind," she said softly.
"Of course not Melly, I'd never make you give up your fine things," I kissed her cheek.
"Tell Tamas `good morrow' for me," she shouted as I went out the door.
"I will," I yelled back.
Back in the archive, I found my penknife and handed it to Bitte, who also looked at me as if I'd finally gone completely daft. Bending over, I brushed my hair my hair forward.
"Cut off a lock where it won't be seen," I said.
"Ahh," Bitte said.
I felt his fingers brush through my hair. He looped a bit of hair around his finger pulling it up to be cut. The knife was rather dull and tugged the hair as it cut; I winced a couple times, but it was over quickly. Straightening up, I thanked Bitte, who nodded. He handed me the lock, which I held while he tied the ribbon around it. He laid it in my hand.
"Just like a heroine in those courtly love songs all the ladies are so fond of," he said with a cheeky grin.
"Too daft, you think?" I asked.
"Nope, the Tlacha will love it," he said with a grin.
"He will, won't he?" I grinned back.
I tucked the lock of hair into the letter, scribbled a quick greeting to Tamas from Melly and Bitte, then folded it and placed it in the bag. I handed the bag to Bitte, along with a ha'penny to give to the messenger. A deep feeling of loss washed over me, such a small connection to Tamas and I was letting it go. Bitte tucked the bag in his doublet, nodded and took off on a run.
Over the next six months, except for three weeks the end of December and first of January, I received a letter from Tamas every two to three weeks. As Bitte predicted, Tamas loved the lock of hair and waxed eloquent (well eloquent, for him) over it, promising to keep it forever. I had Bitte string the ring on my necklace chain to prevent my sharp-eyed mother from catching sight of it. I knew she'd want to know where it came from and I wasn't ready to tell her yet. My gratitude to the Gypsies, for delivering our letters, couldn't be expressed in words alone and I scraped together enough money to reward them with ale and cloth. Father had raised my allowance since I had acquired a servant and seemed finally ready to establish a household of sorts.
Molly gave birth to a sweet little daughter early in the morning on November 12. Bitte and I went down to the smithy the next day, bearing gifts of hot food, and warm blankets for the new arrival. I had never held such a tiny child and at first demurred, but Mistress Jane sat me down firmly and showed me how support her head. The little one stretched, yawned, and opened her eyes. Beautiful hazel eyes in a tiny face stared up at me, her rosebud mouth puckered but she didn't cry.
"She's beautiful, Molly," I said. "Truly a miracle."
Molly smiled and laid back on her pillow, her face streaked with tiredness. My arms tightened around the small girl, Bitte had told me it was a hard labor and they were honestly afraid of losing both of them at one point. Babies born in the winter died easier than babies born in the spring or summer, perhaps their tiny bodies had a harder time fighting the cold. I hugged her in sympathy; I had a hard time with cold also.
"Live," I thought. "Grow up to be beautiful and happy."
We didn't stay long, as Molly was not up to entertaining and there was so much to be done for the new babe. I stopped in the forge to congratulate Chohee, who blushed in pride and embarrassment. I grinned to myself seeing the big man, usually so confident and self-assured, looking like a green youth.
November ran into December with few changes, except that most days it was too cold outside for me to continue sparring. Snow fell clogging the roads, ditches and freezing the river. My hands hurt most of the time and I had a hard time gripping things. My clumsiness returned with the winter and I was grateful for Bitte's assistance in fetching and carrying for me. Bitte also suggested wrapping my hands in strips of cloth to help keep them warm, since my fingers weren't straight enough to wear gloves. Much to my pleasure, it worked and my aches eased a bit, though it left me nearly incapable of holding anything I couldn`t loop over my arm. Since the nights were getting colder, in spite of the best efforts of the brazier to warm my room, it remained quite cold, and I decided to have Bitte sleep in the bed with me. It would be warmer for both of us and I worried about him getting sick sleeping on the floor.
As Christmas approached, the castle started to get livelier again. Festoons of evergreens, ivy and holly appeared on archways and over doors. A large fir tree, covered with ribbons, hammered metal and carved ornaments decorated the center of the Great Hall. At dinnertime, candles were lit and placed on the branches, making the meal more festive than usual. As a small boy, I had thought the tree to be the most magnificent thing on Earth, but now that I had seen real dragons, the poor tree's magic paled significantly. However, it still made me smile when I saw it the first night.
Tamas:
How time is passing. Molly had her baby, a girl. They have named her Elinor but she is already just Elly. I've never had such tiny fingers grip my hand before; verily I think I am doomed to be at her beck and call for life. The decorations for Christmas are up and the castle looks quite festive. I visited your Mother a few days ago, her, Gisela and Noah have decorated the house and courtyard. She invited Bitte and me there on Christmas and I do think we shall go; no one here will much miss me. Let me thank you again for bringing Bitte to me. He has been a godsend this year. I shall go now so I can finish this manuscript, the days are so short, I feel like I barely get up and it's time for bed. But everyday brings us closer to your return so I don't mind.
Nicco
Despite my smiles and the cheery face I showed to others, as the days passed I became quieter and rather despondent, much to Bittes concern, as even he couldnt cheer me up any more. Christmas, the traditional time for families and loved ones, was approaching rapidly and Tamas was far away up north. I knew why he was there and I knew it was necessary but still in my heart I was angry with him for being away. Even the sound of his heartbeat couldn't provide me with solace. However, even as lonesome as I felt, I was careful not to write about it. I told him everything else so he wouldn't become worried and perhaps not be able to learn the things necessary to becoming a Mastersmith.
Because of my despondency, I started going to bed as soon as it was dark and sleeping until the morning. Consequently, it took me several minutes to wake up to the quiet rapping on my door. Bitte sat up groggily and rubbed his eyes. The rapping repeated itself. I gestured to him to stay in the bed where it was warm and wrapping a blanket around me, I stumbled to the door. Opening it just a crack, I peered out cautiously. In the hall was a tall heavily cloaked figure; at first, I thought a demon had entered the castle until the hood of the cloak slipped a bit and I saw a familiar grin and a freckled nose.
"Tamas!" I shouted.
"Shh," he said. "Yeh'll wake the neighbors."
He chuckled and I stepped back to let him into the room. Bitte bounced out of the bed with a shout of pleasure. Tamas shrugged his cloak off his shoulders and wrapped his arms around me. Heat flowed out of him as he dipped his head to kiss me and I clung to his dirt-streaked doublet like a drowning man. His kiss lit a fire in me, passionate, possessive and full of promise. When he broke the kiss off, my head dropped to his chest and I smelled dirt, sweat and the familiar dragon musk.
"I've only been gone two months, Nicco. Yeh've already replaced me in your bed?"
I jerked my head up in shock only to see his grin and his bright eyes sparkling with amusement. Bitte was blushing bright red and Tamas gathered him into a warm hug. He kissed the boy on his head before taking a hold of me and kissing me again.
"What are you doing here?" I asked wrapping my arms around his neck. My blanket slid, unnoticed, off my shoulders to the floor.
"Home for the holidays," he murmured between kisses.
"Does your Mother know?"
"Not yet, we came straight here."
"We?" I asked looking around him.
"Kinna is sleeping on the floor of Chohee's cot. Molly right ripped me a good one for letting him get so tired, but I was so anxious to get back here," his expression was both pained and satisfied. "Been riding straight for two days, sleeping in the saddle to get back here."
"Sweet Heaven, you must be exhausted," I exclaimed.
"I was, but having you in my arms has woke me up, I feel right brought back to life," his arms tightened around me.
"I have been so crazy without you," he whispered into my hair.
I tipped my head up for another kiss and the world drifted away. Cold, aching joints, melancholy, everything disappeared until all I knew was heat and the feel of Tamas' lips on mine. Somewhere far away I heard a door shut, but it meant nothing to me at the moment, the only important thing was having Tamas in my arms.
Without breaking off the kiss, Tamas reached up and unhooked the frog on his cape. The heavy cape slid to the floor to join my blanket. Tamas' arm around my waist held me firmly as he bent me backwards with the kiss; I clung to the back of his doublet determined not to panic. He straightened up, still kissing me and unbuttoned his doublet, dropping it onto the pile on the floor. Suddenly, I wanted to touch him, to feel his skin under my hands. Frantically, I grappled with his shirt pulling it out of his hose and heavy leather travel breeches. Tamas loosened his belt pushing the breeches down as I yanked his shirt up and ran my hands up his bare chest. He moaned against my lips.
Silently, I cursed my twisted hands wishing they would work to hold him properly. I dragged my right hand, slightly less bent than the left, down his chest feeling chest hair tangle in my fingers and the strong curve of his pecs. He moaned my name in a hoarse baritone that cracked. I snickered and stuck my tongue into his mouth, his eyes widened in surprise; and then his tongue coiled around mine.
"Ehnnn," I moaned.
Straightening up and breaking the kiss, Tamas peeled his hose off, my mind, playing tricks on me, noted that the hose were red and white and untouched by dirt. Why that was important to me at that moment, I couldn't say, but Tamas recaptured my attention my attention by grasping my belt and unbuckling it. He peeled my own hose and braies off and ran his hands across my thighs, squeezing my buttocks before kissing me again. I squirmed and snickered.
"Nicco, oh god, Nicco," he moaned against my mouth. "I've missed yeh so much."
I'd promised myself I wouldn't tell him how much I'd missed him but it was hard not to burst into tears. I wrapped my arms around his waist my hands tangling in his shirt and braies and squeezed.
"I missed you too," I whispered.
Tamas pulled my shirt up over my head, breaking off the kiss before yanking his own shirt up and dropping them on the heap on the floor. I shivered, not from cold because my room had never been warmer, but rather from anticipation. He ran his hands down my sides and caressed my thighs as he leaned in to kiss me again. My arms encircled his neck; I felt his hair against my hands and I shivered again. Tamas backed me up until my legs were against the bed. Gently he picked me up and lightly laid me on the bed. He climbed up and straddled my legs before leaning over to kiss me again. His braid fell forward and stroked my side. He kissed his way across my jaw and down my neck as I moaned and clutched at his shoulders. His tongue and lips trailed down my chest, stopping to tease my nipples, before continuing down to my navel. I snickered, and then moaned as his tongue tickled my belly. Something cold and smooth brushed my chest like a whisper before warming up. Tamas went lower and fire roared through my body, I cried out and tangled my hands in his hair.
His tongue and lips teased my cock until I was certain my body would shake itself apart. I cried a long keening sound and my hand scraped across his shoulder. Tamas jerked upright on one hand, his braid swept along my thigh, tickling me. Tamas' right hand groped at his braies freeing his cock. His large hand held both cocks together, stroking them as he rocked against my leg; the braid stroked my thigh in rhythm with his motion. I groaned and twisted under him, my back arching in pleasure. Just before shooting, Tamas leaned down and kissed me, his tongue making love to my own. The cold, smooth metallic object stroked my chest and hit me in the chin, but before I could truly focus on it, my head and body were wracked by orgasm. Two husky voices mingled and two half-smothered shouts echoed against the closed shutters.
Tamas rolled sideways off me. He pulled me to his chest and pulled up a heavy down filled blanket, wrapping it around us both. I snuggled up to his warm chest and listened to his breathing and his heartbeat.
"I'm fair dead, Nicco," he murmured, eyes shut. "Let me sleep til mornin."
"Mmm, go to sleep, yeh daft dragon," I said softly.
He smiled and slowly his breathing relaxed as he toppled headlong into sleep. I rose up on one arm and studied him. His face, despite the tiredness, looked satisfied and perhaps a touch more mature than he'd looked when he left for the North. I brushed his jaw lightly and felt stubble, squinting slightly I tried to imagine him with a neatly trimmed beard: it was a pleasing image. Gold glinted at his neck and I leaned closer to see it in the dim light. A gold chain looped around his neck, I slipped my thumb under it lifting it for a better look. Flattened Gypsy links tumbled over my thumb weighted down by something at his shoulder. I rolled onto my belly and followed the chain to the bed; in my hand was an oval gold locket slightly shorter than my thumb. Obviously, this was the cold thing that had struck me in the chin earlier.
I was looking at the locket and wondering how to open it and if I really should open it, when the door opened slowly; I looked over my shoulder to see Bitte standing there, nervously shifting from one foot to the other. He blushed and started to back out of the room. I twisted around and spoke to him. He stopped in the doorway, watching me unsure of what he should do.
"No, no, come in, Bitte." I said softly. "Have you been in the hall this whole time? You must be frozen."
"No," he shook his head. "I was in Melly's room, but I woke up and thought I'd check on you."
"Mm, thank you, I'm fine," I said smiling and letting go of the locket. I sat up and pushed the blanket off my hips.
"Would you bring me a wet cloth, please?"
Bitte nodded and in a moment handed me a cold cloth, dampened from the jug at the end of the bed. Shivering, I cleaned myself and lightly cleaned Tamas. He stirred in his sleep but didn't wake up. I gave the cloth back to Bitte and snuggled back down in the blankets, my back against Tamas' belly and lifted the edge of the blanket. Bitte looked at me startled.
"You sure, Nicco?" he asked.
"Of course, all the blankets are up here. I can't let you sleep on the floor and get cold."
Bitte sniffled and threw off his doublet and hose. He crawled into the bed and I wrapped my arms around him. He was trying very hard to be mature and behave as a proper servant, but he was still only a child, a child who needed reassurance occasionally. He shivered and cuddled up to my chest; I stroked his hair and kissed his head.
"I have to thank you for being here, I'd have gone completely barking mad without you these last two months," I whispered softly into his hair. Bitte stiffened, then relaxed against me, he sniffled again and his hair tickled my chest as he cuddled closer. Slowly we both drifted off to sleep.
I awoke to a finger poking my cheek, swatting at it, I opened my eyes and tried to focus on the owner of the finger. Kinna was straddling Tamas and me, a huge grin threatening to split his face in half. Pinned between Tamas and Bitte, I could only swat feebly at him and growl. He giggled and rocked back on my hip, sending spears of pain down my leg.
"You've a bony arse," I said.
"Yeh're all sleepin t'gether, musta been quite a night," he said with another giggle and rock.
Tamas' hand shot out of the blankets and caught Kinna on the upper arm. Kinna squeaked in surprise and I about dumped Bitte out of bed trying to get up. Bitte grunted and sat up rubbing his eyes. Tamas' eyes sparkled and he grinned.
"Brat, yeh want to meet God soon, don' yeh?" He said his voice rumbling.
"Tamas!" I said, twisting around and reaching for his wrist.
"Hmph, yeh leave me wi' Molly and come up ere ta ave fun!" Kinna said huffily, his arms crossed. "She made me wash my face!"
Bitte buried his face in his hands, shaking with laughter. I caught my laugh half way out and turned it to a cough. Tamas stared at Kinna and blinked...twice. Slowly a grin crossed his face and he pulled the boy down between us into my lap. He laughed and Bitte scrambled over me to rumple Kinna's hair and smash his face into the bed.
After some horseplay and a near miss involving someone's knee and my genitals, Tamas tipped the two boys out of the bed with orders to fetch breakfast. Both boys shouted `HAI!' and with bows scampered out of the room, Bitte still buckling his belt over his hose. Tamas wrapped his arms around me and pulled me up to his chest. I leaned back with a contented sigh.
"Good morrow," he breathed into my ear.
"I thought it might be a dream," I said stroking his solid arms.
"No dream, I came to yeh."
"Mm-mm," I sighed and leaned my head back on his shoulder. "How long will you be home?"
"Until Epiphany, we head back the next day."
"Two weeks." I said.
Tamas murmured a soft affirmative and I felt his lips against my neck. I moaned softly and rolled my head in pleasure. His breath was hot on my shoulder and he nipped at it before sucking on the soft flesh; I cried out softly and arched my back, grinding my shoulders into his chest, which pushed my head up across his collarbone and along the side of his head. Tamas stopped sucking on me and tickled my ear with his tongue. I squealed and jerked away. This time I cried out in pain, something I couldn't see was pulling my hair. I reached up and bumped into Tamas' hand.
"Shh, hold still Nicco," he said softly.
His fingers made short work of the tangle and quickly freed my hair. I sat forward and rubbed the back of my head before twisting around to look at him. He grinned at me and reached up to unclasp the chain I'd seen earlier. He held it and the locket in his fist pressed to his mouth for a moment. Tamas dropped his hand and opened it. The locket glittered against the rough skin of his palm.
"Funny thing," he said, "When we first met it was you that pulled my hair."
He chuckled as I blushed. Tamas carefully thumbed a small catch on the side and opened the locket. Coiled inside was the lock of hair and ribbon, I'd sent him. I stared at it and then at Tamas open-mouthed. He leaned forward and kissed me.
"Yeh're always with me, Nicco. Ri' by my heart, alla tha time."
I swallowed, tears trickled down my face. Tamas ran the tip of his tongue up my cheeks and across my eyes; I shivered and sucked in my breath audibly. Tamas' head pressed against my forehead and I opened my eyes. Blue eyes so close I couldn't focus on them filled my sight, fingers tripped lightly up my neck brushing my hairline. I blinked and his head moved backwards. Tamas closed the locket and hung it around his neck again. He pulled me into his arms and held me without talking for several minutes. His hand stroked my back. He turned his head and breathed softly into my ear. Again, his fingers explored my hairline; he leaned forward and kissed my nape. I moaned softly in pleasure.
"We better get dressed, afore those laddies get back," his breathed tickled my ear.
"Yes, don't want another lecture from Kinna," I said.
Tamas chuckled and slid out from under me and off the bed. He held out his hand and pulled me up right. We poked through the scattered clothes on the floor and found his red and white hose and cream-colored shirt. Kinna had brought up a saddlebag from the smithy and Tamas located a clean pair of braies in it. I fetched a clean shirt and braies out of the clothes chest and my new pair of light blue hose. Tamas whistled appreciatively. I blushed and was just getting ready to kiss him when the door banged open and two boys bearing food poured into the room.
We ate the hot porridge and fresh bread while Tamas and Kinna talked about Wallingford. Bitte told Tamas about the goings on in the castle and I talked about my work, Molly's baby and the upcoming holiday. Melly appeared to fetch me to attend to Mother and sighed at the sight of four people crowded around my table eating.
"All right, I see you have a horrible case of diarrhea and can in no way attend Mass," she said with a mock scowl.
"Melly, I'm sorry. I promise to make it up to you," I said frantically. Melly sighed.
"Tamas tell that daft idiot even he deserves the occasional selfishness," she said.
Tamas grinned and made an affirmative gesture. Melly chuckled and stepped out of the room, closing the door behind her. Bitte looked and me and winked. Kinna looked back and forth from me to Tamas to Bitte before finally giving up with a shrug and concentrating on his porridge. I chuckled and reached for another piece of bread.
"Hai, hai, I get it. Can I selfishly take up your time the next two weeks?"
"Absolutely," Tamas said with a smile. He leaned forward and kissed me. "Merry Christmas, Nicco."