Helllllooooooooooo everybody!! Wasssssssssssssssssssup? Well it's the new Millennium (the REAL one) and we're all still in one piece. Personally, I wanted some things to crash just so I could sit there and laugh and laugh. But later I realized I would miss my computer and thought better of the situation . Aren't you proud? I knew that you would be. Okay enough with my babbling.
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Chapter 10 "I will remember you. Will you remember me?" By: Secret Dreamer dreamsecret@poetic.com
"Iya, sweetheart, come back to the house," Sylvia pleaded for the third time that week.
Since Donny's slip into comatose I hadn't left his bedside. That was five days ago. I hadn't slept or eaten or showered for that matter. But the tiny bathroom in Donny's room had become my greatest friend and companion.
As acid ate away at my stoamch, very frequently I would end up dry-heaving into the toilet.
"Please, dearest."
I stared at her with empty eyes. My black hair stuck to my body as a thick grease covered every strand. My skin was pale and clammy.
"Mommy?" James whispered, walking out form behind Sylvia. "Please come home."
I tried to smile at him but couldn't find the muscles.
Sylvia gently gripped my arm. "Come on, dearest," she whispered and pulled me up.
I tripped over my own feet and felt a lump form in my throat. She wrapped an arm around me and took James' hand.
The car drive back to the house seemed non-existent. Sylvia helped me out of the car and into the house.
"Come on, dear. We'll get you into a nice hot bath and then a nice warm meal into your stomach."
I tried to reply but my lips were cracked and dry. I nodded instead.
Sylvia helped me up the stairs and into the bathroom. She was about to start the bathtub when the doorbell rang. She flipped on the nozzle. "I'll be right back, dear," she kissed my forehead and left the room.
I stared at the bath rug. It was a light blue color. Donny's favorite color. The tiled floor was a pale green that matched the yellow paint on the walls. There were a few daisies sprayed along the wall with stencils.
The door opened again. A pair of arms encircled my shoulders. Familiar arms.
"Oh, Muffin," Dawn sniffled.
I looked up into her tear-filled blue eyes. My hand came up and cupped her cheek. I forced my lips apart as blood trickled from the tiny wounds. "Y-You came back," I managed to whisper.
"I never left."
I managed a smile.
Dawn hugged me tight before turning off the nozzle. "Let's get you washed." Her fingers started taking off my shirt and suddenly I felt very self-conscious. Sure, Dawn had seen me naked on a number of occasions but this time felt different. My shirt came off anyway.
The rest of my clothes followed into the floor. Dawn helped me into the bathtub. It felt hot and good. I slid into the watery abyss.
"I met James," she cooed. "He's playing with Jonathan and Adam."
"Jonathan and Adam are here?"
She nodded. "They wouldn't have it any other way." She found a wash clothe and began to glide it along my skin. It was rough and caused shivers to run down my spin.
"I don't know what to do, Dawn," I wailed softly. "He's dying and there's nothing I can do about it."
The clothe stopped by my shoulder. "No one can do anything about. All you can do is be there and love him."
"I should be there," I whispered.
"No, you shouldn't. You should be in this house, taking a bath and eating. Of which you've done neither in the last week," she remarked sternly.
I felt like a scolded child. I swallowed hard. "But I love him."
She hugged me. "I know."
I sighed and wrapped my arms around her. "I love you, too. He's just been everything to me for so long. He's more than a best friend. He's more than a brother."
"I get the point, Iya," she stood up, looking dejected. "I'll just catch a flight back to California. I'll always be here for you but I want you to know something," a few tears slid down her cheeks. "I'm always gonna love you no matter what and James. He's a really great kid. You and Donny must be proud. I wouldn't be."
I watched her walk out of the bathroom. I was completely confused at what happened. I stared at the bathtub water, dumbfounded. What had just happened? It was official. I was truly alone now. Ripples began forming in the water and I noticed tears sliding down my cheeks. She had won.
I picked up the clothe and finished washing up. I had to wash my hair 3 times to get it feeling clean. The drain gurgled and spit as water spiraled down into oblivion.
I took a towel from the pile and dried off and slipped on the bathrobe that was hanging on the back of the door. Wiping away the remnants of my tears, I made it downstairs and into the kitchen. I stopped when I saw Dawn sitting there, smiling at me. "Wha?"
"Good, aren't I?"
I just blinked at her. "You mean you made that all up?"
"It's called Acting, Muffin," she grinned and sipped her tea.
A few more tears slipped down my cheeks. "Fuck you," I growled deep in my throat and ran back up the stairs.
I found Donny's room and slammed the door shut and locked it. I slid down the door and rocked back and forth. "Fine time to play tricks, Dawn," I whispered violently.
There was a loud bang on the door. "Iya! Open this door!" Jonathan's commanding voice came through the wood.
Once again, making sure that the lock was in place, I started toward Donny's bed. It was made that way he always made it. Messy. I crawled under the sheets and pulled his pillow to my chest. It smelled like him. Faintly. I felt a few tears slid down my cheeks and onto the pillow.
Was this what I was reduced to? Blubbering every 5 minutes? There was a little boy outside who needed his mother. But there was a wide-eyed little girl in here who was looking at life for the first time and was terrified out of her mind.
She fell asleep.
When I opened my eyes, my cheeks were rough from the dried tears and there was nothing but the moon shining through the window. I pulled myself up and resituated the bathrobe to cover my exposed body. I trudged to the window and stared out. The stars were twinkling brighter than I'd ever seen in New York and the faint smell of sea water wasn't far away.
The ocean.
A smile spread across my face for the first time in days. I found a pair of Donny's wide-legged jeans in his dresser and pulled them on along with a wife beater that looked like it had been shrunk 7 sizes. I tip-toed out of the room, finding everyone asleep. I closed the door quietly behind me and made a run for it.
I ran until the house was out of sight and the air was rich with the smell of the ocean. I let my senses guide me until a large body of water lay in front of me. The most beautiful sight I'd ever seen. The water rippled and waves washed up onto the shore. The moon cast a ghostly shadow over it, giving an eerie sort of life to it.
I began to walk. I walked along the beach enjoying the feeling of sand between my toes and the cold water wash over my feet when I got close enough. It felt beautiful to me. It held something that was so innocent yet held so much. This wasn't just a place to sit and look at. It wasn't just a place where human swam. Animals lived in there. That was there home. It came with them wherever they went and they couldn't get rid of it, no matter how hard they tried. It was eternal. It stretched into the heavens yet had a stopping point. It gave life but could take it away. It was the most powerful thing in the world, to me anyway.
I found a spot and sat down, pulling my legs to my chest. I looked out over the water as wind whipped through my hair. I laid back and stared into the sky. Stars winked and laughed at me. I found myself giggling back at them. It felt like I was alive again. It felt like...
"Hi Stranger."
I smiled. "Hi."
"What are you doing?"
"Talking to the stars."
"Sounds like a story title to me."
I laughed. "Don't you start."
"So what happened?"
I sighed. "I don't know. Everything was going really well."
"I saw that. But what happened today?"
"I feel like I don't know her. She picked today to show off her acting skills by making me feel like shit."
"She didn't mean to."
"I know that."
"Then why is it getting to you so much?"
"Because I don't want to lose her like I'm losing Donny."
"She isn't dying."
"I know that. But I could lose her in other ways. When she said that, my heart disappeared. It was already broken but now it's gone. I don't think I can feel anymore."
"Of course you can. You can never stop feeling. Even I still feel."
I chuckled. "Not in the sense we do."
"Well, true. But still. We never lose our emotions even though it may seem like it."
"I know. I loved her so much. I love her so much. I just don't know what to do anymore."
"Well there's one person you won't be losing."
"Who?"
"James. He's grown up really well, Iya."
I sighed and smiled. "I know. I love him so much. He's the perfect little angel. He's going to be a great older brother."
"See, you know you're not going to lose her."
"I know."
"Then why are you here instead of there?"
"Because I needed to talk to the stars."
"Do me a favor."
"Anything."
"Well first, what are you going to name the baby?"
I shrugged. "We haven't talked about it. I haven't really thought about it."
"Well start thinking about it. I have some names already picked out. Names picked out for all of your children."
"There are going to be more?"
"That depends. It depends on what you do."
"I'm still trying to cope with having a baby girl and James. More just frightens me."
The wind blew like a laugh. "I know. But don't worry. There will be more people later on."
"What do you mean?"
"You know I can't tell you that. I've told you too much already."
"I know. Can't get in trouble upstairs."
"No, it's not that. I'd just like to keep my well-earned apparel for a while longer."
I grinned. "They're looking pretty good."
"You think? I'm pretty proud of them but I'm not here to talk about me. You know I can't come very often."
"I know. I wish you could stay longer."
"You don't know how much I love hearing you say that."
"What's it like?"
"I really can't answer that."
"I know. I just had to try. Have I done okay?"
"You've done better than 'okay'. Don't you worry. They're all pretty impressed with you."
"But I'm so worried about so many things. Is my book going to get patented? Is it going to get published? It is going to be read by Oprah?"
"Why Oprah?"
"Because if Oprah reads you're book and likes it, America reads your book. I'm worried about the baby. I'm worried about James. I'm worried about Sylvia and Frank. I haven't seen Frank since I've been here."
"You haven't tried to see him."
"I know. I've been in the hospital the whole time I've been here but that's where I need to be. Frank will be here when it's over. But Donny isn't. I don't want to regret not spending time with him."
"Well not to worry. Quit worrying. Most of those things have already been taken care of. It all just depends on how you well you take care of them. There are loose pieces all over the place that you haven't tended to yet."
"Where?"
"I can't tell you that. You have to find them."
"I should know by now that you don't have the answers."
"Oh, I have the answers. I just can't give them to you."
I chuckled lightly. "I still don't think you know the answers but okay. I guess I should get back to the house. You sound tired anyway."
"I've already stayed longer than I should've. Besides, you have more visitors to attend to."
"I understand."
"Bye Iya."
"Wait!"
"Yes?"
"Jonathan says 'Hi'. Even if he doesn't know it."
"Tell him I said 'Hi' as well. Oh, and tell him not to let that Adam boy go. He's a keeper."
"I will."
"Bye Iya."
"Wait. One more thing."
"What's that?"
"I. I miss you."
"I miss you too."
"Say Hi Sammy for me."
"He hates it when you call him that."
"I know. That's why I do it."
"I'll tell him. Bye Iya."
"Just one more, tiny thing."
"What Iya?"
"I'll make it quick since you're getting impatient. You'll take care of Donny, won't you?"
"Of course. Preparations are already being made. He's going to like it here."
"Good."
"Bye Iya."
"Bye Mom, really this time."
I stared back up at the stars as a tear slid down my cheek. Not from grief but from joy. I started to get up but stopped. The sun had started to rise. Tears shimmered in my eyes as it rose so brilliantly into the sky. The water became red and orange and purple before settling back on blue. I sighed and smiled. This is what life was. An ending of one day and the beginning of another.
"Iya!"
I turned around to see Dawn jogging toward me. I got up and brushed the sand off of Donny's clothes. I waved at her.
She stopped in front of me and started to pant. "I. I am. I am so sorry that I did that. I didn't know it would upset you so much."
I smiled and pulled her to me, hugging her tightly. "I know. I'm sorry I over-reacted like I did. I was just feeling vulnerable."
"I know but I'm sorry for what I did. It was uncalled for and inappropriate," she insisted.
"Dawn?"
"Yeah?"
"Shut up and kiss me."
She grinned as we exchanged a passionate kiss. I wrapped my arms around her as tight as I could. I never wanted to let go and I wasn't planning on it anytime soon. But she had other plans.
She broke the kiss and embrace. She was suddenly very somber. "The hospital called. Donny woke up but there's not much time left."
I nodded and took her hand. "What are we waiting for then?" I took off running, with her next to me. "By the way, how did you find me?"
"You left a note," she took it from her pocket and handed it to me. "Did you forget?"
I stared at it and chuckled to myself. "Yeah. I guess I did."
We made it back to the house, panting and out of breath. Sylvia came running out the door, with Jonathan and Adam not far behind. Jonathan carrying a sleeping James. I picked him up and cradled him on my hip.
"Mommy?"
"Go back to sleep."
"I love you."
"I love you too."
We all piled into the car and drove off, leaving skid marks behind us. The trip took forever. It felt like we were going 5 mph. The car wasn't even fully stopped when I jumped out and ran up the stairs to the hospital. Dawn was right behind me with Jonathan, James, Adam, and Sylvia not far behind.
"No running!" I nurse yelled as I skidded to a stop in front of Donny's door. I burst in.
He chuckled before coughing. "Hi. A little anxious, I see."
"Well I never could get enough of you," I grinned and sat down next to him.
He reached out and took my hand. "Honey, I'm not gonna last much longer."
I nodded. "I know."
There was a knock on the door and Dawn poked her head in. "Am I interrupting?"
I shook my head. "No, Sugar. Come on in."
She came in followed by Jonathan, Adam, James, and Sylvia. James climbed up next to Donny and curled up in his arms.
I watched tears fall down Donny's face as he stroked James' head and kiss him.
"Now," he said in a shaky voice. "You be a good boy for your mom. Okay?"
He nodded. "I promise."
"Good."
"How are you feeling?" Jonathan asked, giving Donny a hug.
Donny started laughing. "This has to be the most serious I've ever seen you. I'm gonna be fine. Now whose that hiding behind you?"
"I'm Adam. I've heard a lot about you in the very short time I've been here."
"Well there's not much to tell so I'm sure they had to make up some of it," Donny grinned.
"I heard about the shaving incident. Even saw the pictures. Nope, I don't think they made anything up."
Donny turned a beautiful shade of red.
"I do believe that color suits you, my dear," I chuckled.
He just glared at me and smiled at Dawn. "So you're the famous Dawn Reed."
"Famous? Not really."
"Oh yeah?" he sifted through the paper again and produced the paper he'd shown me when I first arrived. "I believe this is you."
She took the paper from him and stared at the picture. "I didn't know they were publishing this picture. It's horrible."
Donny chuckled. "No it's not. You look nice."
"Thanks."
Sylvia stepped forward and hugged Donny. "Hi sweetheart," she whispered, as she softly cried.
Donny kissed her cheek. "Everything is going to be okay, Mom. I'm gonna be okay soon."
She nodded. "I love you sweetheart."
"I love you too, Mom. Hey guys, can. Can I have a minute with Iya and Dawn please? James too?"
Sylvia nodded and kissed the top of both of their heads. Jonathan gave him in last hug. "Love you man," he whispered.
"Love you too, dude. Take care of her okay?"
Jonathan nodded and Adam gave a parting embrace. "It was great meeting you. I wish it could've been on better terms."
"Take care of Jonathan. He needs a good guy."
Adam nodded. "I will." And followed Jonathan out of the room.
I pulled Dawn down next to me.
James opened his eyes and smiled at me. "Mommy, is Dawn gonna come live with us, too?"
I looked at Dawn and kissed her hand. "Yeah honey," I turned to him. "Dawn's gonna come live with us."
His smile grew to a grin. "Good. I like her."
"I like her too, honey."
Donny smiled and patted James on the back. "Hey sport, will you go make sure Grandma is okay?"
He nodded and slid off the bed, not before giving Donny a big hug. "I love you Daddy. I'm gonna miss you." For the first time, I saw tears come from James' eyes.
Donny's eyes started to shimmer. "I'm gonna miss you too, sport. But I'm always going to be with you. No matter what happens."
He nodded and ran out of the room.
He turned toward us before grabbing a tissue. "I promised I wouldn't cry," he laughed softly.
I smiled weakly. "I think I cried enough for everyone."
He chuckled. "I noticed."
There was a silent moment when the world stopped. The clock stopped ticking and the machines stopped buzzing and beeping. Donny and I just held hands and stared at each other. Silently understanding the exchange being made.
"Take care of James and Dawn."
I nodded. "I will."
He turned to Dawn. "And you take care of James and Iya and that little baby inside of you. Have you thought of any names yet?"
Dawn looked down at her stomach and tentatively rubbed it.
"Iya used to do that all the time when she was pregnant."
Dawn smiled and kissed me on the fore head. "How do you like Tali?"
"Tali Hazel Moon Reed."
"Don't forget Summer," Donny smiled. "You always said that if you had a little girl again you'd name her Summer."
"Tali Summer Hazel Moon Reed," Dawn grinned.
I chuckled. "I feel sorry for her already. I like it though."
"Me too. James is going to love having a little sister," Donny smiled sadly before coughing and sliding down beneath the sheets.
"You okay?" I tightened the grip I had on his hand.
"It's time," he sighed and smiled. "Be careful and talk to me sometimes, okay?"
"I promise. I. I'm gonna miss you, Dumbass," I whispered with a tiny smile.
He grinned. "I'm gonna miss you too, Buttmunch."
"I love you."
"I love you, too."
His eyes closed as his breathing began to slow. Tears welled up in my eyes as the heart monitor flat-lined. A few tears slid down my cheeks. I didn't cry though. I'd already said my good-bye and cried enough for 10 people. I got up and took Dawn's hand.
"Can you give me a second?"
She nodded, gave my hand a squeeze, and left the room.
I stared down at Donny and stroked his bald head. "Come and talk to me sometimes, too, okay?" I kissed his forehead and met Dawn in the hallway.
She pulled me into a hug. "I'm so sorry, sweetie. I'm so sorry."
I stroked her hair and kissed her neck. "He's in a good place now. He's probably starting up the stairs to the house now."
She stared at me strangely for a second.
I smiled and kissed her forehead. "I'll explain it to you when you're older."
12 year-old Iya Moon stood at the bus stop, anxiously waiting to get out of the cold. Her legs were freezing in her jeans and her coat was providing too much protection.
A little brown haired boy came flying down the driveway a few houses down. He was panting by the time he reached Iya's side. "H-Has the bus come yet?"
She raised an eyebrow. "Would I be standing here if it had?"
"Well how should I know? For all I know you're waiting for a car pool or something."
"Well I'm not. The bus is late today."
"Okay. I'm Donny Hamilton. I just moved in down the street."
"Iya Moon."
"Cool name."
"Thanks. So what grade are you in?"
16 year old Iya Moon lay with her head on Donny's chest. Listening to him breath in and out. In and out. She toyed with the hem of his shirt.
"The stars are so pretty," Donny sighed, kissing the top of her head and absentmindedly stroking her short black hair.
"Yeah."
"Iya?"
"Yeah?"
"I love you."
"I love you, too, Donny."
The old bed groaned under the weight of the two teenagers. A low moan was soft through the slow moving bed springs.
"I love you."
"I'm the size of a whale!" 18 year old Iya wailed as she sat at the Hamilton's kitchen table.
"You should've seen me, dear, when I was pregnant with Donny. I was huge," Sylvia Hamilton chuckled as she placed a cup of tea in front of Iya.
She chuckled. "But you only had one. I have two in here. James and Hazel."
Donny smiled at her as he sat down and they exchanged a kiss. "You look more beautiful every day," he pushed some of her hair behind an ear.
She blushed and then squealed. "They kicked!" She grabbed his hand and placed it on the large bulge.
He grinned at her warmly. "I can't wait."
"Iya? Iya? Are you okay?" Dawn waved her hand in front of my face.
"Huh? Oh yeah. I'm fine."
She took my hand in hers as we walked out of the hospital after the rest of the entourage and drove home.
Well that's the end of Chapter 10. Don't worry. Lots more chapters to come. You won't believe what I've got up my sleeve. grins evilly I was nice and left out the monster cliff hanger I wanted to use but I'm not. :) Don't you just love me? Hehe I know you do. Anyways, don't be a stranger :)
Don't forget to smile, Secret Dreamer dreamsecret@poetic.com