Falling

Disclaimer: I do not know the BSB I have never met the BSB. This is just a story in other words it's not true. I do not work for anyone that has contact with the BSB and so on this is just a story I hope you like it

Extra Disclaimer: I do not know Nsync, I do not know anyone that knows Nsync.

Authors note: I have noticed that not many people write BSB stories. So I have decided that I will write as many BSB stories as I can. I might right a few stories about different bands. But don't count on it to much. Ok I use a few different symbol's in my story to help it. These *** mean a character change, right after the *** a name will follow. When I am starting a story off either from the beginning or from the start of another chapter. I will put the name between these ***. Now I'm going to try and stay away from using this but it has happened in the past. These (()) mean a note from me or a time change. Most of the time I'll just write out the time change. But there are times when I'll get a little lazy so please understand. I will not give my main character any weird powers like my other stories. So this will be the first time that I'll write a normal human story. Which mean's no Sryin's or anything else. I would also like to add that if I start to slip to yell at me to stop. I hope you enjoy the story. It may look like I've slipped up in here but I haven't so don't start yelling yet. I am not having one of my super natural moments. I've started two other stories to keep from doing that. So no yelling yet please, unless it's nice yelling I could really use that about now. Ok I haven't asked until now, but now I'm begging please write me. I would really love to hear what everyone thinks so far. My e-mail should be on this somewhere.

Warning: This story isn't like my other stories it's a lot darker. it involves Rape and a few other things later in the story. You've been warned.

Extra Note: I would like to thank Eddi for saving my sorry butt. I needed some info and he got it for me. He also looked the story over for me and checked for errors. I owe him a lot so I'm thanking him in here. Your a great friend Eddi, thank you for being you. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Nick

The crowd was silent, then the laughter started slowly. They thought it was a joke of some kind. Richie stood up slowly, his eyes were watering, but the tears wouldn't fall. "Nick, are you sure you want this, you still have a chance to back out." His voice was so low, I almost didn't hear what he had just said. My mind was racing with so many thoughts; it was a little scary. I knew that I could back out, but did I really want to. If I didn't do this now, there was a good chance that I never would. I stood up to meet his gaze, his eyes were filled with so much. I thought that I would see anger or sadness, I didn't. When I looked into his all I could see was the love that he held for me. I turned around and looked at the crowd that was starting to quite down. "This isn't a joke, I'm in love with this guy. I have been for a long time now, I've just kept it a secret. In truth we've been together for a long time now. I just thought this would be the best way to do all of this." The crowd was silent, it was a little scary. I knew that this could happen, I had played it all out in my mind. I felt a hand on my shoulder, as I turned I could see the tears falling. "It would be my honor to marry the only man I've ever truly loved." The crowd went wild with cheers. For a second I thought everything would fine and perfect from now on.

Then I was being pushed and pulled in a different direction. I saw Richie move forward and his leg start to move upward. I noticed that a guy had come running at us with some kind of weapon. Richie's foot hit the guy in the chin then Richie was on his chest. His face was bright red and his fist were flying. Guards were running up to help him with the attacker. "I am so tired of people like you with such little brains." I noticed that the weapon had been a pocket knife. "Just a warning, if you ever try to hurt my boyfriend again, I'll kill you." When those words left his mouth it made everything ok. It was the first time he had ever said anything like that. What made it more important was we were in an open area. "I wasn't going after you're little toy boy, I was after you." Richie just smiled at the man as he was being pulled away. He grabbed my shoulder when I tried to go after him. He shook his head slowly, the smile remain on his face. "Tell my father it was a nice try but no dice." I looked at him with a little shock slowly working it's way up my face. "Nick help me walk, I don't think I can keep standing much longer." I looked at him he was about to fall over. I rushed to his side and helped him stand, to others it looked like a hug. The guards helped us both off stage while Rosie waited for a break.

I was sitting in Richie's house again, he was in bed. That little fight had really taken it out of him. It made me wonder how weak he really was now. I know that he had been walking around and all that. It was so shocking to see him so weak after something so minor. I had seen him do so much more without breaking a sweat. I looked at him from the doorway, just realizing how fragile he really was. He looked so strong on the outside, but if you looked close enough you could see more. I hadn't seen any pain in his eyes for a very long time. What I did see was love in its purest form, it amazed me how much he had changed. When we had first met I fell instantly, I knew that then and now. Now that I looked at him again I could see that I would always love him. It no longer mattered if I lost everything that I once had, as long as I have him to hold me at night and hold my hand during the day. There was one really good side effect; I didn't have to hide anymore. All of that was over, in some ways it was hard to believe that it was over. I moved to the side on the bed and just held onto his hand. He looked to innocent, it was like years had floated away. I could see the child in him that had been killed so long ago. His eyes were slowly opening, they looked a little blood shot. "Are you ok, your eyes are a little red." His mouth opened then closed slowly, a smile formed on his lips.

He took a few deep breaths and slowly sat up to face me. "I had a bad dream, so it's most likely from the tears that fell." I hadn't noticed the little wet streaks on his face. "What was the dream about, if it's ok to ask?" The smile left his face his eyes seemed to grow cold. "I dreamed that I had lost you, that I couldn't save you." His eyes were filling with tears again. "You'll never lose me, I love you to much." The tears started falling again with more power. "Promise me that you'll never leave me alone again. That no matter what you'll always come back to me. That when we're old and gray that you'll love me just the same as now." His voice was so filled with pain and loss that it caused tears to from in my eyes. "I promise you that no matter what lies ahead of us that we'll always be together. That I will never stop loving you, but when we're old and gray. I'll love you even more than now, because every second I love you more." He was nodding his head so slowly as he drifted back off to sleep. I turned to see Raven standing in the doorway smiling like a little kid. "You know Nick, I'm going to hold you to that promise. If you ever break his heart you'll have to deal with me. If it means anything, that was the sweetest thing I've ever heard anyone say." I just shook my head as she walked away.

Two days had passed since the Rosie show. I thought that maybe the ticket sales would fall, but they didn't. They didn't increase, but that was fine as well. Richie was back to his normal self again. He was hitting the gym really hard, I was a little worried. He told me that he was taking it easy compared to what he use to do. Raven was on my side and told him if he didn't slow down, she'd kick his butt. He laughed at her, all she could do was smile brightly. I didn't really understand the laughter at all, it sounded different. I had heard him laugh so many times, but here lately it sounded different. Almost like all of the laughter I had heard before were fake. I felt a little jealous that Raven knew him better than I did. Then to add something else to the mix Brian was sneaking out at night. Richie had said something about following him to see if he was ok. I knew the he was a lot more than a little worried, so I told him I would check into it. I waited until I heard the front door open and close. I walked out of my bedroom and silently followed Brian out the door. He looked like he was waiting on the corner, while I was sitting behind a tree. I heard someone coming up behind me and scared the living hell out of me. "It's only me Nick, no reason to worry." I turned to see Richie standing behind me with a big smile.

He looked like a little kid, he even had some PJ's on. "I feel like a little kid again, wait, I never did this when I was a little kid." I put my hand over his mouth, he only smiled a little. We watched as a limo pulled up and Brian jumped inside, I decided it was time to move. Richie had decided it was time to show himself and hope Brian would come clean. "Brian Littrell, if you don't tell me where you're going, I'm going to kick your butt." I couldn't help, but freeze, then slowly I looked back at Richie. I looked back at Brian, he was frozen in place. He was half way in the limo and half way out. Richie started moving toward him with a grace, I hadn't seen in a while. "Now, you know that we love you with all of our hearts. Tell me why you've been keeping this a secret from us?" I'm not going to lie, I wouldn't have blamed Brian for having a heart attack right there. Slowly Brian backed away from the limo, his hand looked to be holding something. "Here I thought I was being sneaky and getting away with this." Richie was now only a few feet from Brian, his eyes were locked on the person in the limo. Then I saw the smile on his face, it was an odd sight. "Why didn't you tell me, we could have stayed up all night and talked about it." Richie took off and picked Brian up, he was hugging him. Brian was laughing his head off the whole time. Who was in that limo, and why did it make Richie so happy?

******Richie

I was so happy for Brian, he found himself a boyfriend. I now understood why he didn't want to tell us too. I looked at the blond haired man who looked as nervous as a cat in a room full of rocking chairs. "I don't bite, come on out and give me a hug." I watched as Lance stepped out of the limo, he looked a little scared. I wrapped him in my arms and spun him around in circles. "Welcome to the family, and if you ever hurt my friend, I'll hurt you back." I sat him down then smiled as brightly as I could. I knew that I was going to pay for all of this very soon. I could already feel my body getting weak, and my vision was a little blurred. I did my best to stay still for a second, I didn't want to worry Nick. He had way too much on his mind here lately, he didn't need me adding more to his load. I kept on smiling as Nick slowly walked up, it turned out that Brian wasn't afraid to tell me. He was afraid to tell his fellow band members that he had fallen for a rival. Nick looked at Lance closely almost like was studying him. "Just so I have this right, you and Brian are together right?" Lance slowly nodded, Nick's face didn't change in anyway. "You've been together for a while and plan on staying that way right?" Again Lance slowly nodded and looked as if he were getting ready to fight. I was ready to step in if I had to, even if falling was all I could manage.

Nick moved forward very slowly but he didn't head toward Lance he grabbed me as I started to fall. I guessed that my little act wasn't all that good, since I hadn't even noticed I was falling. "Sorry about that, I'll be fine in a minute, I just need to sit down." Someone else had taken on lifting my left side. I was moved to the limo where I was laid down. I didn't really have the strength to sit up yet. I hated being weak and nothing I did seemed to help. Nick was by my side rubbing my hand telling me it would be ok. I could hear Lance asking Brian what was wrong with me. Brian told him that I had been pretty weak since the accident. Then Lance asked about how I had pulled off the stuff on the Rosie show. I still didn't know how I had managed to stop that guy, it was all a blur. I was starting to feel a little better when I tried to sit up. "I'm sorry I shouldn't have gotten all happy and stuff." I almost fell again when Nick wrapped his arms around me. "I just wanted to welcome Lance to the family and tell Brian how happy I was for him." I could feel Nick pulling me closer to his body as I spoke. Lance looked touched by my words so much he was crying. I could see that Brain had this huge smile on his face. "I didn't think that you were for real." I looked at Lance confused, what did he mean by that. I wasn't the only one confused by his statement. I looked to Nick who had his eye brow raised.

Brian was looking at Lance very strangely while Lance tried to collect his thoughts. "I'm sorry, it's just that you're everything you make yourself out to be. Ok, that sounded really bad, it's just that I've met so many people that are fake. You're not like that at all, you're yourself. I've watched you on TV and read everything that's been written about you. I kept wondering if you were everything you were made out to be. Now that I know you are it's just like amazing, at least to me anyway. I kept thinking that these people were writing about an angel or something. That they were making a great deal of it up, just to sell their shows or papers. When I first saw you standing behind Brian, I thought that you were really mean. It was the way you were talking to him, then you just started hugging him. Then without a second thought, you pulled me into your arms and welcomed me. I've never had anyone do that, not my fellow bands mates noone. It just caught me by total surprise, and then I find out that your still weak for the accident. Still you made sure that I knew I was welcomed." He just trailed off as his body started shaking, the tears poured from his eyes. I had to admit that it was now my turn to be touched. I couldn't keep the tears from falling, I reached up and hugged Lance again. I then felt other arms surround us.

I could tell that Nick and Brian had turned this into a group hug. After all of that had slowed down, we had moved to the house. Nick and Brian had helped me walk most of the way. We were now all sitting at the kitchen table drinking coffee. I had put a ton of sugar in it the second it was handed to me. "I'm cool with you and Brian, but I'm going to warn you now. If you hurt him in anyway, I will kick your butt, besides that welcome to the family." I heard someone else moving around in the house. Raven stepped into the kitchen in her robe. She looked at Lance and smiled sweetly, then she turned to me. "I'm just guessing here, but you finally found out?" I looked at her with confusion, then to Brian. He looked more confused than I did, which was a little funny. "Are you telling us that you knew they were together?" Raven slowly nodded while she poured herself a cup of coffee. "I've known for about three or four months, do you guys think I'm blind?" All of us knew to shake are heads no. "It's just that I didn't even know what was going on, so you can understand the confusion." I now had my sister full attention, the only problem is that I don't know if that's what I wanted. "Then I guess it's you guys that are blind, Brian's been sneaking in and out for a long time. I decided to follow him one night, and I pretty much found out everything. I just thought that you would too, I guess Nick's blondness is rubbing off." Now I took a little bit offense to that last comment.

I stood up far to quickly seconds later I was on the floor. I opened my eyes, but I couldn't see anything. It was like something had blinded me, then my hearing started to fade. I woke up some time later, but I was in a hospital again. I looked over and saw Nick sleeping his head was laying on my chest. "What's wrong, why am I in the hospital again?" I didn't see anyone else in the room, and I didn't really want to wake Nick up. I looked for the little call button then started hitting the sucker. A nurse rushed into the room looking really nervous. "You're awake, I'll go get the doctor and your other visitors." She was gone just a quickly, I wanted to strangle her. All I really want to know was why I was in here again. A doctor came with my sister who looked somewhat heart broken. I knew this wasn't going to turn out good, not with the look she had on her face. "Richie, we have some bad news, really bad." I looked down at Nick, that's why he was sleeping on my chest. He must already know what was wrong, he must have cried himself to sleep. "You have a tumor, it's why you've been so weak. From what the doctor has told me, it could be fatal." I had so many things running through my head that I couldn't see straight. This wasn't fair, how could God be so cruel to give me this. First a childhood I wished that I could forget and now this.

It was like I was meant to die, that no matter what I did I wouldn't survive. I didn't know how to fight this, I could fight pain that was easy. I could fight a lot of things, but why did I have to fight so much. As its my fate to live a life that only had pain in it. Then as I looked down I knew that wasn't true. I had been given the greatest gift anyone could ever give. I had the most wonderful man in my life, my life wasn't all pain. He gave me more joy than I could really handle. Everyday I woke up with him beside me, every night I went to sleep in his arms. The nights that we shared were beyond any pleasure I had ever know. I wasn't the one being cheated in all of this, it was Nick that was paying the price. He been put through so much for me and never complained. How could I add this to everything, he had to worry about? I found myself calming down as I looked back to my sister. She hadn't moved since I had gone into my own little trance. "It's ok, I'll fight this and win." The doctor stepped forward his down cast and distant. "The problem with that is simple, we don't know how to fight it. I've never seen a cancer like this, none of us in the hospital have. We've got a few ideas on how to help you, but there would be a great deal of pain." I looked up at him and smiled, I could beat this I just knew I could. "That's ok Doc, I can handle any amount pain. I have a really good reason to live, you see I'm getting married soon. I would do anything to make my husband happy, and if living does that then that's what I'll do." The doctor looked at with something that looked like confusion and amazement.

Raven stood in the back ground shaking her head slowly. "Richie you don't seem to understand, they don't think you'll live. That means that your chances are pretty slim, and the pain you would go through." I could see the fear and pain in her eyes, this was changing her. "Rachel you know me, have I ever really stopped fighting? Have I ever given you a reason to doubt me in anything? As for the pain, Nick is worth any amount of pain. I would do anything to make him happy, you have to understand that. If I die then at least I know that I gave it everything I had." I watched as her body started shaking slightly. The tears that fell hit me so hard, she didn't think I could beat this. That was ok it wasn't like I couldn't deal with it. "Rachel just so you know, I love you. You don't have to believe I'll live, cause I might not. You just have to have faith that I can at least try. I need you more than ever now, even if it's just to tell me what's happening." I looked to the doctor, he was smiling brightly which looked odd on his face. "I need to know where the tumor is and what I could lose from it. I don't want any surprises, so I need you to tell everything that you can about this. I know you said that you haven't seen this kind of cancer, but you have to know what I can lose from it." The doctor nodded slowly and started going through his charts.

Raven had left the room, maybe she couldn't do what I had asked. "The tumor is near the brain, it's on your spine, you could lose a lot. The first thing you could lose would most likely be your sight. Then your hearing, then your legs and so on. We can try to shrink it enough to remove it. But in doing that, it could cause it to spread like a wild fire. Our best bet is try and kill it first, then remove it. The problem with that idea is you could still lose your sight as a result. What I'm trying to tell you is simple, most likely you will be blind in a few mouths. It could happen before then, or you may not go blind at all. I'm willing to do what ever we can to help you." I looked into his eyes making sure I would never forget them. "It's my nature to fight, you know that." He nodded slowly and then started shaking his head. "That's not what I'm talking about, how can you just take this so easily?" I looked at him and did my best to keep the tears at bay. "I'm not, I just know that I can't give in. If I give in then the fights over before it even started." He just looked into my eyes, then he stood up and left the room. I don't think that anything could have hurt as much as that had. I didn't understand how he could just walk out on me. Seconds later he walked back in with Brian and Lance with him. He had something behind his back He was trying to smile. "I knew that you wouldn't give up. So I asked Brian and Lance to go get me something for you. I don't know how to put into words what I feel for you." He then pulled three bright red roses from his back. "The first rose a sigh of when I first fell in love with you. The second is a sign of my love continuing forever. The third is to prove that no matter what I will always be by your side" I felt the tears falling as he moved my side and placed a gentle kiss on my lips. "I love you so much Nick, and I will beat this." He nodded slowly as I started to slip back into a deep sleep.

******Raven

I didn't understand him, he couldn't win this fight. I wanted so badly to believe that he could but I knew better. I had spent half the night talking to the doctor and doing a little research. I even made a few phone calls and had the test sent to other hospitals. Most of them had already called back telling me there was little hope. It was hopeless there wasn't a cure and he was going to die. I didn't understand how he just couldn't accept that little fact. I found myself leaning up against a wall trying to keep from falling. I wanted so badly to believe that he could make it. Then a small part of me didn't, he had been in so much pain for so long. It was like his whole life was cursed, that no matter what he paid he couldn't be happy. I knew what I had to do, I had to at least try to do what he had asked. I had to stand by him no matter what, even if it was all a lie. I walked back to the room he was staying in. I looked at the others in the room, they all had faith in him. All of them thought he could make it through anything. I wished that I could have that faith as well. I just couldn't allow myself to believe that, it was just to painful. If I let myself believe he would live, then it would hurt so much more when he didn't. All I could do was be with him let him know that I would be by his side. That wasn't to hard, I just had to look past everything else.

Three week's had passed since that night, everything is still a blur. Richie had to go to treatment three times a week. He looked to be getting weaker and weaker every day. I noticed other things as well like his hair was thinning. The only part that really got to me was how he acted like nothing was wrong. I could see the pain in his eyes, and hear him cry at night. He kept it from everyone thinking he could hide it forever. Nick never would knew how much pain Richie was in. I had spoken with the doctors asking them if it was working. They said that the tumor was shrinking, that most likely he wouldn't go blind. For the first time in weeks I felt hope and happiness, maybe he could beat this after all. I could feel my heart lifting and my eyes opening to the wonders of my brother. I had never met someone that could take so much and keep going. A few days later Nick and Richie started planning the wedding. I got to be the flower girl, I mean come on I should be the maid of honor. I had brought the idea up but Richie said he wasn't wearing a dress, and Nick agreed. I tried to talk Nick into wearing the dress that didn't work out to well. Brian was going to be the best man for Nick, while Kevin was Richie's best man. The wedding was going to be held in the back yard of the house. It was the perfect place for it.

Time was flying by the wedding was only two weeks away. Richie had pushed the date up once he was told about the surgery. He still wouldn't tell us anything the doctors had told him. I had tried to bypass that by asking the doctor myself. He said that he was sorryb but he could no longer tell me anything. He had added before I could ask that Richie had requested it. I went to pick him up from his ap,ointment one day only to find that he didn't have one. He had taken a cab in the morning and told me he would catch one back. I hadn't liked the idea, so I went to pick him up. The nurse said that she hadn't seen him in there all day. They said that maybe I had gotten the dates mixed up somehow. People with cancer sometimes had a hard time remembering dates. She had eased my worries until I got home, Richie wasn't there. I looked around the house but only found the guys sitting in the living room. I decided that I wouldn't worry them yet, I could have just missed him. So I wait for a few hours just hoping that everything is fine. When walks his face looks grim, but then he starts act all over again. I watched as he took deep breaths and then smiled brightly. I stay in the shadows not wanting to ruin his act.

I follow him into the living room where he starts talking about how he hates treatment. He jokes around with the guys and lies his head off. I now knew that something was going on I just didn't know what. Richie was setting something up, and I had a good idea what it was. The hope that I had was now gone as I realized what was happening. Richie was putting on an act so no one would worry. That much I had known for a while, the new information brought tears to my eyes. I pushed the thoughts out of my mind as I greeted him. I'm sure that he has a really good reason for his secrets and lies. He hugs me lightly, his body has gotten thinner. His eyes looked sad and heartbroken, then I understood him better. He knew that he was going to die, maybe even when he was going to die. He just wanted his last days to filled with happiness and no worry. I could never even think of denying his last wish. I wanted to ask him questions, but it would give everything away. I knew that the surgery was one week after the wedding. I wondered if he would even make it that far. Then I wondered if he had been telling the truth about that. I had so many questions, I just hoped that someday I would find the answers.

It was two days away from the wedding and Richie looked pretty bad. I didn't really know if anyone else had seen it but I had. I noticed that he was moving a lot slower than before. That it was harder for him to just keep on smiling like he did. Then late at night I would hear him leave his bedroom. Seconds later I would hear the bathroom door close. I would sit outside of the door and listen to him cry. It took everything in me not to bust in and hold him till it stopped. Every night right before he opened the door, I would be gone. I had thought about helping him back to his room, but he would get scared. That was the last thing that I wanted him to feel. The day of the wedding was really weird, Richie was his old self again. It was like he had never gotten sick, he even moved with grace again. Everything was perfect, the sun was shinning brightly and a light breeze kept it cool. The guest were arriving on time and with gifts, Rosie was there with her kids. She looked at Richie with a great amount of worry and sorrow. There were a few other people I had seen on TV. I also noticed that the band members of Nsync had all gathered. Lance was with Brian while Justin sent death glares at him. I noticed that Britney was sending death glares at Justin. I decided it was high time I introduced myself.

I walked over and smiled sweetly to Justin then to Britney. "Hi, I'm Raven, Richie's sister it's nice to meet you." Justin looked at me and his mouth dropped open, then he smiled. Britney held her hand out and I shook it smiling at her. "You really have a beautiful house here." I nodded and thanked her kindly, then I looked at Justin. "I noticed that you don't seem to like the idea that Lance is with Brian." Justin nodded slowly, he had balls that much I could give him. "Would you mind telling why that is, or is it personal?" He looked confused for a few seconds, it must be the blond hair. "It's not that I'm against Lance being happy. I'm just worried that he's going to get hurt in the end. You have to understand he's like my brother, I don't want to see him get hurt." The anger that I had been expecting didn't come. "Listen Justin, Brian wouldn't hurt Lance and if he did he would have to deal with me. Just try to be happy for them, if you don't you could lose friend." He looked at me and smiled, he wasn't such a bad guy. "So where's Richie? I've been dying to meet him. Lance never stops talking about what a great guy he is. Then when he does stop talking about him, he starts talking about Brian." I laughed to myself and took both of their hands. I led them through the house to Richie's room. "Rock you have guest that want to meet you, get your sorry ass out here." Richie stepped out of the room slowly wearing his tux.

To Be Continued