Falling

Disclaimer: I do not know the BSB I have never met the BSB. This is just a story in other words it's not true. I do not work for anyone that has contact with the BSB and so on this is just a story I hope you like it

Authors note: I have noticed that not many people write BSB stories. So I have decided that I will write as many BSB stories as I can. I might right a few stories about different bands. But don't count on it to much. Ok I use a few different symbol's in my story to help it. These *** mean a character change, right after the *** a name will follow. When I am starting a story off either from the beginning or from the start of another chapter. I will put the name between these ***. Now I'm going to try and stay away from using this but it has happened in the past. These (( )) mean a note from me or a time change. Most of the time I'll just write out the time change. But there are times when I'll get a little lazy so please understand. I will not give my main character any weird powers like my other stories. So this will be the first time that I'll write a normal human story. Which mean's no Sryin's or anything else. I would also like to add that if I start to slip to yell at me to stop. I hope you enjoy the story.

Warning: This story isn't like my other stories it's a lot darker. it involves Rape and a few other things later in the story. You've been warned. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------

**************Richie

I was woken up by the flight attendant telling the plan had landed. I got my stuff together and got off the plane. I waited for my bag's and then flagged a cab down. On the way home I called my agent to tell him I needed a job. He had told me to come in the next morning. I walked into my house and looked around for a little bit. This place didn't look like the house that I had left. I could almost feel the emptiness rushing toward me. I pushed that away and went to my bedroom. I fell back to sleep shortly after that my dreams were filled with images of Nick. I woke up crying reaching out for him, but no one was there. I looked at the clock and jumped out of bed, I had three hours to get to my agent. Not a lot of time to get ready so I jumped in the shower. The water was warm but I kept having the feeling I was being watched. I jumped out and shaved and doing all that good stuff. I got dressed and ran outside. My car was in the driveway but I didn't know if it would work. It had been a long time since I had used the damn thing. I tired it anyway and off I went. I parked down the street and walked toward the building. I hadn't been in this place in more than three months.

I walked to the elevator and pushed the button for the floor. I pulled myself together as I walked off the elevator. I walked to the front desk and told the lady that I was there to see Jake Masters. She nodded and I took a seat and waited. I walked into his office twenty minutes later. "RJ long time no see, I've been trying to get in contact with you for months." I rased an eye brow and took a seat in front of his desk. "I took your advice and took some time off." He nodded slowly and slid a peace of paper to me. I looked the paper over but it didn't seem to make sense. "It's your chance RJ, you could be the next male super model. It's what we were working on before you took off. You have three days to get to Paris, I'm sorry about sending you off so soon. But it was the dead line two week's ago. If you hadn't called last night I was going to give it to Rease." Jake knew how much I hated Rease. "I'll be packed and ready in time. When will I be getting back?" He looked down at his papers and checked his planer. "You should be back in about four months, maybe sooner. It all depends on you, but you know that. If you make a good impression you could be there for a year or more." I nodded and stood up to leave, I had been to Paris before.

I felt his hand on my shoulder and I almost punched him. "Whoa champ, I was just going to give you your ticket." I brought my hand up to my face trying to calm myself down. "I'm sorry Jake, I've had a rough couple of days. If anyone comes looking for me tell them where I went, maybe they'll give up." He had a very confused look on his face. He handed me my ticket and I left as quickly as I could. I didn't even remember the ride back to my house. I ran inside and started to pack everything that I would need. I found my passport and checked to see if it was still valid. Once everything was in order I went to my room and laid down. I allowed myself to fall to sleep thinking about my trip. I woke up a few hours later, I hadn't eaten anything in a while. I got in my car and drove to the nearest pizza place. I stood inside for twenty minutes, I didn't know what I wanted. I left deciding that I should start watching what I ate. It wasn't like I was going to be dancing it off anymore. That thought sent me flying back to the concerts. I didn't dance in every single one, but I did a lot of dancing. I drove to the store and picked up some fruit and things like that.

Once I got back home I ate and went to bed for the night. I couldn't believe that I could sleep so easily. I always felt tried so it was easy and it helped me. I didn't feel anything when I was asleep. I was almost over Nick, well that's what I told myself anyway. As long as I didn't see him I would be fine. I didn't know why I had told Jake to tell him where I had gone. I guess something inside of me wanted him back. It was just when Brian put his hand on my shoulder. It was almost like the same hand that had held me down. If I didn't know better I would have thought that it was Brian. I knew that Brian couldn't be that strong, now Kevin on the other hand. I stopped that thought I wouldn't think that of either of them. They had helped me so much over the last couple of months. I pushed those thoughts as far away as I could. I wanted to erase all of those memories in my head. I wanted to make up my own world, where it had never happened. I had so much to do in the next couple of days.

********Nick

I had tried to call Richie but his phone was disconnected. I had tried his cell phone but he wasn't answering. It had a caller ID on it so he knew who was calling. I knew that I had to talk to him soon. I was thinking about running off to find him, but I couldn't. I may not be the most responsible, but I knew I couldn't just take off. I knew that when I got to New York I was going straight to his house. If he wasn't home I would head to his agency. I would find him he had to be somewhere in New York. I was counting the days until we left. I was having a little problem with singing at the concerts. Whenever I would sing a love song I would think of him. We sang a lot of love songs so you can see my problem. I looked out the window of the bus watching the world fly by. I hadn't been sleeping to well, and when I did sleep I didn't want to get up. I was always tired but I couldn't sleep. I was to worried about Richie to sleep, and my dreams were filled with images of him. I could live in my dreams sometimes and other times I didn't want to come close to sleeping.

((Ok second time that I've done this. Sorry but I really needed it this time I'm jumping into the future a little. If I didn't the story would get super boring really fast. I'm skipping to where Nick is arriving in New York. So back to the story.))

I was in such a good mood that I don't think any thing could bring me down. I had already rented a car and I was on my way to his house. I had gotten lost four times but I knew where I was going now. I had called for help and now Brian was with me. He looked like he was in a really good mood to. As we pulled into the driveway I noticed that his car was here. I jumped out of the car and ran to the door. I knocked on the door as hard as I could. I waited for five minutes before pulling the mat up looking for a key. I looked around the door, he had told me that he left a key out here. I just couldn't remember when the damn key was. I beat my head against the door for five minutes until something hit me in the back of my head. I looked at the ground to see a key there. I picked it up and jammed it into the door, I ran inside looking around. It hadn't changed at all, it was still empty. Brian walked in behind me, he looked around and shook his head. "This is all my fault Nick I'm so sorry." I looked at him and shook my head. "It's not your fault Bri, it's always been like this. He's most likely on a job and not home yet." Brian just shook his head and started to say something else. I stopped him and pulled him outside.

I drove downtown looking for the building that Elite owned. I had never been to the place so I didn't know to much about it. I knew only what Richie had told me about the place. I got on the elevator and took it to the third floor. I walked to the front desk and asked to see Jake Masters. "May I ask who you are?" I looked at the lady like she was nuts. "Nick Carter, of the backstreet boys." She looked up and her eyes widened a bit. She waved toward the seats near the elevator. Brian was already sitting down looking toward me. Ten minutes later I was walking into an office, behind the desk was a nice looking man. He looked like he was maybe thirty, but no older. "Mr. Carter, I'm honored to meet you, how can I help you today?" I took the seat in front of his desk and tried to think of the best way to ask. "I'm looking for a friend of mine, I believe your his agent. His name is RJ Wayne, I've been looking for him all day long. I haven't had any luck so far, and I'm not going to be in the area to long." He looked at me for a few seconds. "I'm sorry Mr. Carter, but RJ isn't even in the country anymore. I'm guessing that you haven't been keeping up with the fashion world. RJ's a super model now, he's been trying to get that title for over seven years. He's in Paris has been for a while, he won't be back for a few more months." I tried to collect my thoughts, it wasn't working to well.

I left his office thanking him as I did so. I didn't know what to think he was gone. I walked over and tapped Brian on his shoulder. He looked up and nodded I guess my eyes said it all. I walked to the elevator and waited for it to reach our floor. "Mr. Carter, if it's any help, he didn't look to happy. In fact I think he was running from something, but he did want to be found. That's the only reason I told you where he was. He almost took my head off when I touched his shoulder. I still don't understand that little act, but maybe you do." Jake walked back into his office after he told me the name of the hotel. I didn't understand the guy it was like he was telling me to go chasing after him. I knew that I couldn't do that not yet anyway. I walked to our rental car and pulled out into the traffic. Brian hadn't said anything for a long while, and I didn't feel like taking. I pulled up in the parking lot of the hotel. I jumped out and walked in with Brian right behind me. I got in the elevator and pushed our floor. I was greeted by our body guards at our floor. I went to my room and laid down for a while. I didn't even notice that I was crying or that Brian was standing by the door.

I knew that my time was up, I had pushed it this far. By now it would have been really hard to open those doors. In a few mouths it would be like trying to blast a hole in a mountain with a tooth pick. Than again maybe I had already waited to long and he was unreachable. I was so mad at the world that I didn't know what to do with myself. It wasn't the world I was mad at it was Richie. He had ran off without even trying to make things work. He had made a childish choice and I was paying for it. I knew his past but I guess I really didn't know him. I didn't understand how this had made him leave me. I wasn't the one that hurt him, I would never hurt him. Then again maybe I was to blame in some weird way. He had told me that I had made him open his heart. That if it weren't for me he wouldn't know what love really was. I had started crying after he said that, he just held me. It was one of those times that I wanted to last forever. Then he had been hurt in an unthinkable way. He had let himself open up only to be shot at. I had to ask myself if his life would have been better if we hadn't met. I knew that for that brief amount of time my life had changed for the better. I decided that I was going after him, that I wasn't going to wait.

I had waited long enough for him, it was time to start the search. I stood up from my bed and started packing. "Nicky what are you doing?" I almost jumped out of my skin. I turned and looked at Brian for a few minutes. "I'm going to Paris and no body is going to stop me." I turned back to my bag and continued to put my clothes in it. I had thought that Brian would try to fight me on this. He didn't in fact he had left the room silently. I closed my bag and went to the door. When I opened the door I saw the guys waiting for me. "It's no use Kev, I'm going you can't stop me I'm twenty." I stormed past all of them heading to the elevator. "We aren't here to stop you Nicky. We want to come with you, since it's our fault. If I had let you go after him weeks ago this wouldn't have happened." I turned around and looked at him. "If your going you have twenty minutes to be down at the front desk." I walked to the elevator and walked on hitting the lobby button. As I looked down the hall no one was to be seen. I checked my watch then the elevator, time was up. I walked to the front door and walked out, a mistake I would never make again. I ran back inside with at least a hundred girls hot on my trail. I jumped behind the front desk pulling some guy in front of me.

I didn't see the girl's take the detour toward the elevator where the guys were walking off. I was saved, so I jumped back over and ran outside to the rental. I started the car and opened the doors. I watched the guys running toward the car, I didn't know Kevin could move that fast. They all jumped in the car and I took off as quickly as I could. I couldn't stop myself from laughing at them. It was the first time that I had gotten away while they hadn't. After I stopped laughing the rest of the ride to the air port was in silence. I pulled up to the front of the air port, I knew I couldn't park there but I really didn't care. "I am never riding in any car that Nick drives again." Kevin said jumping out of the car. I got out of the car and looked at Kevin with a smile. "I stopped at most of the red lights, and I only went a little over the speed limit." I pulled my bag out of the car and walked toward the doors. The guys were close behind me, they no longer had their bags. I hoped that they had their pass ports or this little trip was for nothing. I would be going solo which I didn't care about. I walked up and got my ticket I had three hours to wait. Not that bad since it could have been longer. The others got their tickets and we took our seats in the VIP room.

********Richie

I hadn't stopped moving in the last few weeks. I almost never had time to eat or work out but it was all good. It kept me from thinking to long, I was making a great deal of money now. I had hit the big time everybody wanted me for something. I couldn't help but think about Nick every now and then. I would see someone walk by and think it was him. I didn't cry myself to sleep any more. He hadn't come looking for me maybe that was for the best. I didn't know if that really was the truth anymore. I had thought that I would be over everything by now. I wasn't even close to stopping myself from taking ten showers a day. I had a hard time letting anyone touch my skin. I did most of my own make up and hair. I would let them take over only if I couldn't do it. I had also gotten a bit shy about my body. When I looked at myself I noticed that I had changed a great deal. I no longer saw what I use to be, I saw something ugly. I felt so used here lately like I don't know it was just there. I had to wear some very weird clothing here of late. It showed off most of my body I didn't like it. I use to love it when people looked at me, I didn't anymore.

I kept thinking that they saw hand prints on me or something. The next shoot I had to was an almost nude shoot. All I would have on what a thong and silver glitter. I had already made sure that no one would see the back of my leg. All the money I was making was going into a savings account. If I could keep this up I wouldn't need any real world skills. I just didn't know if I could keep going at this pace. It was like I couldn't push the emptiness out of my heart any longer. No matter how busy I stayed it was still there eating at me. It didn't use to feel like this I could just close it off. I was having such a hard time dealing with everything. I wanted Nick so bad it hurt, it was like I couldn't close that door in my life. I didn't really want to but I had to, I had left him it wasn't the other way around. I had made a foolish mistake that I couldn't take back. I let my past and fear control me, now I had to live with it. I knew that if I really wanted I could go to him, but I couldn't let myself. I had my chance to make my dreams come true with a simple choice. I just didn't know what my dream was anymore. At some point I had lost sight of what I was looking for. I didn't know if I would ever find that dream again, nor did I care. I just wanted the pain to stop so I kept moving.

I woke up in a hospital bed, I didn't remember how I had gotten here. I looked around the room, I was the only one in it. I pressed the button for the nurse hoping she spoke English. "Oh, your awake that's good we didn't know if we could pull you back." I looked at her confused, I grabbed a mirror and looked at my face. I didn't see any thing wrong so looked at the rest of my body. I didn't understand what she was talking about. "You passed out in the middle of the street. You were almost hit by a car, if it weren't for a young man you would have died." I didn't understand I was now more confused than before. "How did I pass out, I don't remember anything that happened." She looked at me and walked closer to me, she sat down beside me and smiled. "You really should take better care of yourself. It look's like you haven't eaten anything for a week or more." I guess I had forgotten about that little detail. "We had to feed you threw a tube, I hope your feeling better. I'll go get the doctor and have him give you a look over." I was amazed by the woman she must be the only woman in Paris that didn't hate Americans. I tried to sit up but I found that my arms were tired down. I jerked my hand toward my chest a few times.

I wasn't having any luck getting the damn thing's off. Soon the doctor walked in smiling I hated doctors. "Can you get these damn thing's off my wrist please?" He smiled again and took the restraints off my wrist. "You can leave any time you want, but I would rather keep you a few more days." I shook my head I had far to many things to do. "How long have I been here and what time is it?" He looked at his watch and then my chart. "You've been here for seven hours and it's two in the morning." I nodded and swung my legs over the side of the bed. "Where are my clothes, if I don't hurry I'll be late for my job." He picked my clothes up and handed them to me. "I need to know where to send the bill, and I need you to sign a few papers." I nodded and gave him the address of my hotel and signed the release papers. I got dressed and walked out of the room only to be stopped by a nurse. She pointed to the wheel chair and asked me to take a seat. I did so against my will, my legs worked fine. Once I was outside the hospital I caught a cab and headed back to my hotel. I checked my messages once I got in then had them sent to my room. I would look them over in the morning I was a bit tired.

The next morning I looked everything over slowly. Jake had called to let me know that I was going to have company soon. I guessed that he was coming to visit me for a while. I thought about calling him but didn't. I walked down to get something to eat, didn't need to pass out again. I heard a bunch of screaming girls but ignored it. There must have been some movie star checking in for the night. I didn't know why any star would come to this place. It wasn't all that good and the room's were small. I stayed because I was going to be here for a while. It was a cheap place to stay while I was in the area. I picked up some food that I shouldn't eat, but I was hungry. I went back to my room and started to eat my plate full. I heard a knock on my door so I opened the door. My jaw dropped when I saw Nick standing there. My heart skipped a few beats when I looked into his eyes. I had to fight myself to keep from grabbing him and pulling him into my arms. "Hello Nick, I didn't think I would see you again." He didn't smile he only looked into my eyes. I moved out of the way inviting him in.

He walked into my room slowly not saying a word. I was about to close the door when I saw the other guys. I waited for them to enter no need in being mean. After everyone was in the room I took a seat at the table. I had to hold myself together this was my test. "Listen I'm really sorry about taking off the way did. I wish I could take it back but I can't. I know I made a lot of mistakes I have no excuses for any thing. I know your here because, well I don't really know why your here. I can't do this anymore I'm in the spot light now and the world knows that I'm gay. If any of you are seen with me the rumors will start flying. It could destroy your life Nick I can't let that happen. I love you and I always will, but I can't let you ruin your life. I have a lot of problems that you shouldn't have to worry about. You need to find someone that can love you and not run off at the first sign of trouble. I'm going to be deadly honest with you Nick and I know this is going to cause you to hate me. I think that either Kevin or Brian is the one that raped me. My reason behind this is simple. They were on the floor at the same time that I was. The person was able to get into the room without making nose. I know Kevin has a key to all the rooms. That doesn't mean it was him since Brian could have stolen them. The person who did it was strong enough to hold me still. I've thought about it for countless hours. Both of them are strong in their own rights." I stood up and took my shirt off.

I looked at all of them it was like they were frozen. "I'm going to find out who did it. I want both of you to place your hands on my shoulders. I'll never forget the feeling of the hands that held me. I've had so many nightmares about them that I can't forget. I don't really care who it was, I just need to know. If it wasn't either of you I will be deeply sorry. But I have to know now, I can't take it anymore. I won't run to the press but I'll never talk to you again, and I'll ask you to leave." I looked at Brian and Kevin they both stood up. "Wait you have no right doing this." Howie shot up out of his seat. "Wrong I have every right, you don't know what I've been filling. I just got out of the hospital last night. I passed out in the middle of the street, I almost died. That's not anyone's fault but my own. But I've been trying to close everything out and I can't. I forget to eat, I forget to sleep or wake. My mind is filled with questions that need answers. Like I said if it wasn't either one of them I will be sorry. But I have to know, it's killing me. I've finally gained some control over the tears. I can get to sleep at night with the help of pill's. I wake up in the morning scared to death. You say I have no right your wrong, live my life for one day. Have my nightmares for one night, wake up screaming. Then maybe you'll understand why I need this." Howie had sat back down his face no longer holding any anger.

Nick hadn't moved the whole time, I had thought that he would be the first to yell at me. Both Brian and Kevin walked up to me and placed their hands on my shoulders. It wasn't their the feeling that had plagued my nightmares. Both hands were gentle and soft to the touch. I closed my eyes and started to cry I had made a huge mistake. I felt the tears welling up in my eyes. I fell to the ground and pulled my legs up to my chest. "I'm so sorry, I guess apart of me wanted it to be you. Then I would know and maybe I could stop this pain in my chest. I'm so sorry for everything that I've said." I couldn't face them now I had been so wrong. Nick had wrapped his arms around me, he was holding me. I thought that he would hate me after all I had said. Kevin and Brian both looked at me and smiled. "We don't blame you Richie, we would have wanted the same thing. We promise that we'll find the person who did this." I just nodded, I had lost the will to talk. I was losing my mind, I had held it together this long. I just couldn't do it anymore not alone. My mind was in shambles, I didn't know where to turn or run. "I can't go with you Nick, I have to stay here." He was nodding, I think that he finally understood. "I can't hide who I am anymore either. I'm out to the world and I'll be damned if I'm going to run back into the closet." He kept nodding be he hadn't stopped holding me. I soon fell to sleep in his arms.

********Nick

I picked Richie up and laid him down on the bed. I asked the others to leave us for a while. They did so but Brian made me promise that we would talk later. I didn't understand the request but I did agree. I was thinking about coming out of the closet to the world. I didn't see why Richie had to make most of the scarifies. I knew that it could destroy me in the music business, but I had to take that chance. He had left his world behind to be with me. Even if he wasn't working at the time, he still left it. He had danced for the group to cover up our relationship. He had done a lot to keep it a secret for so long. He even broke a promise he made to himself, just for me. I had been sitting beside him for a few hours when Kevin walked in. "Nick why don't you go get something to eat. I'll sit with him until you get back, I promise I won't leave his side." I thought about it for a few minutes then agreed. I was a little hungry I hadn't eaten anything since we had gotten here. I walked down the hall and someone pulled me into a room. It had scared the living hell out of me. I turned around to see Brian standing behind me. He had this total look of guilt on his face. "Nick I have to tell you something." I looked at him and my heart stopped. So many thoughts were running around in my mind. The first one was easy to understand, he had done it.

He walked to his bed and sat down for a few minutes. I would give him his time to tell me but after that all hell was going to brake lose. "I know what your thinking, it's all over your face. It's not that but it does have to do with what happened to Richie. I know who did it, it wasn't me but it might as well be." He had this lost look in his eyes, I wanted to shake him but I didn't. "Just tell me what you know Bri, it could mean everything. I think Richie is losing his mind slowly." Brian looked up and started crying lightly. I had never seen him like this before. "Kevin did it Nick and I couldn't stop him." I looked at him like he was nuts. Kevin would never do that no matter the reason, he has always been a good guy. "Bri how do you know he did it, did you see him or did he tell you?" Brian looked away like he was hiding more than before. "Let me tell you the whole story, then you do what you want." I took a seat across from him and waited for a while. "When I first joined the band everything was great. I had you as my best friend, and I was living a dream. Then after a few years Kevin started coming to my room at night. At first it was just to hang out and talk. I thought it was cool, I was starting to get closer to my cuz. Then one night he came into my room drunk." I wasn't believing what I was hearing it couldn't be true.

I had to take a few deep breaths to calm my nerves. It looked like Brian was doing the same thing only his body was shaking. "That night Kevin rape me over and over again. He told me that if I ever said anything to anyone. He would do the same thing to you and the other guys. So I didn't say anything I was scared he would carry out his threat. After that he would, he would come to my room every so often. I got use to it after a while and pretended that it was someone that I loved. Every time he would leave he'd tell me not to tell. So I didn't, then when Richie came into the picture, he stopped what he was doing to me. I was starting to think that he was finally going to stop and leave me alone. Then the night Richie was raped I saw Kevin walking toward your room. He was putting on these gloves as he opened your door. I had seen them once before when he came after me. He said it made it more interesting, since it made things feel different. I was scared he would come after you so I kept my mouth shut. I wanted to tell you so badly but Kevin threatened me again. I tried to tell you at his house but you stopped me. Please don't hate me Nick, I really am sorry." I pulled Brian into a tight hug and held him close to my heart. Then the thought hit me like a ton of bricks.

To Be Continued