Falling for Alex

Feel free to email me at pathoslm@yahoo.co.nz with any comments, otherwise enjoy, Logan.

I continued to eat the cold bacon and eggs alone on the small two-seater couch of the motel room. Alex had left to take his shower, leaving his silver watch and matching smooth ring on the coffee table before me. Sitting there with only a white towel wrapped around my waist the glow of happiness that had overcome me in the bathroom was slowly retreating. I was still exhilarated over finally kissing Alex, it had been my only fantasy since meeting him so many months before, but now that I was temporarily alone the familiar cloud of reality was beginning to move in again. I could hear the shower running through the wall behind me. Physically I felt better, no longer as hung over as before and even the food didn't taste too bad, although I'd hardly eaten much of it. I finally placed the plate down on the coffee table aside Alex's own empty plate and stood, wandering over to the windows to stare out at the clear blue sky. I could see the roofs of the fast food restaurants lined across the street below, and to my left I had a clear view into the open plan office rooms of the building next door. A few people were working inside on their computers, not too many as it was a Saturday but still I held the towel tightly around my waist. It was the tenth floor. I could tell that just by the familiar view. In the room directly above, which was almost identical to this one except it had a balcony, I'd gotten drunk with Jamie. My dad, Johnathan, owned this motel, although I hadn't yet told Alex that. It wasn't a necessary detail; Johnathan owned a lot of things, which only made much of the central city just like an extended backyard to me.

I turned away from the windows, thinking about Johnathan. I found myself wondering what he was doing now. Was he worried about me? He probably was, but if anything I knew it would be my mother, Angela, who would be worrying the most. It was kind of funny how I'd gotten used to calling Johnathan dad almost as soon as I'd moved in with them when I was seven, but had always called his wife Angela. I loved her like a mother, she was the nicest person I'd ever met and I knew she'd be deeply worried about me. Worrying was her thing, I think she was the one who had passed that on to me. It bothered me though to think what Johnathan had told her. They talked about everything, Johnathan and Angela. I had always hoped to find a relationship like theirs, one so full of trust and love even after sixteen years together. Maybe I had. Alex's words then flowed through my mind. He'd told Johnathan that he was my boyfriend. I almost didn't care what Johnathan thought about that, and I was sure that Angela would, while possibly not being happy about it, still treat me the same. However I didn't know how Jamie would be reacting. He was my best friend, what he thought mattered. But I couldn't change how I felt about Alex. Damn I shouldn't have left, I knew I needed to go back, I needed to face them.

I paced back past the low wooden coffee table, reaching down to pick up Alex's watch from where he'd left it. It was a little after three pm. Johnathan wouldn't be at home until at least after six and Jamie would be on his way home from school now. If I left soon, I could sit down and talk to him and Angela, gauge their feelings and also hear what Johnathan was likely to be feeling too before he came home. I was confident Angela would be at home. She worked as a nurse at the hospital but I didn't figure that she would have gone in today. I felt bad as I thought about her staying up all night worrying about me, wondering where I was and if I was safe or hurt. That was what she was like. I couldn't leave her worrying another night. I smiled a little as my thoughts then turned back to Alex. What were his plans? Did he want me to stay here with him another night? I hoped so. That way, at least, if things went badly at home I'd have something to look forward too. I didn't want to leave him. I wanted time to stand still so I could quell the bad feelings I had with my family while still staying here with Alex for longer. I stood and walked around the small lounge room, strolling over to the kitchen as I fidgeted absently with the wet bandage clinging to my left hand. It was coming undone and I knew I needed to change it. But first I needed to get dressed. I walked back into the bedroom, spying a black duffel bag propped on the luggage holder next to the closet. It was Alex's and it looked pretty full, maybe he'd brought a change of clothes. I smiled to think of myself wearing one of Alex's shirts. Of course it would be too big, but that didn't matter. I unzipped the top of the bag and immediately spied a pale blue folded shirt. I smiled to myself as I pictured it on him, it would definitely bring out his eyes. I carefully placed it alongside the bag, noting the soft and expensive feel of the material, and then unloaded a black pair of pants and another shirt. Now I was just being nosey. I already had my jeans, although I wasn't currently sure exactly where they were, so all I really needed to borrow was a shirt, but I couldn't help it, I was curious. Besides, I told myself, I was his boyfriend now, sooner or later I'd be finding out everything about him. Towards the bottom of the bag I found something that could be best likened to a cell phone but was roughly five times the size. It had a thick black antenna and looked like an older type of radio used for communicating. I wasn't really sure what it was and couldn't even guess as to what Alex used it for but I put it back in the bag, and then turned to the closet. I hadn't finished with the bag yet but I wasn't sure how long Alex usually showered for and so wanted to check his trench coat. As I opened the closet door I knew what I was doing was wrong. I knew I'd hate it if someone else went through my things. But then, if it was Alex going through my things, it wouldn't be so bad. But of course, that wasn't the point. There was a huge difference between going through someone else's personal things when they knew about it, and doing it behind their back when they were in the shower. But now the trench coat was staring back at me from the otherwise empty closet, and with my impulse control poor at the best of times I couldn't help but reach in and slip my hand down into the deep front pocket. I pulled out a thick wallet, and while cupping it in my injured left hand I slipped my right hand down into the other pocket, and then stopped dead. Slowly I pulled the cold metal object I felt inside out into view. I'm sure my heart stopped for a moment. It was a gun. I held it by its handle, its nozzle pointing down to the closet floor, just staring at it like I expected it to come alive. I'd never really been around guns before, not handguns anyway. Johnathan owned an array of shotguns and rifles used for hunting, although he hadn't been in years. But somehow this chunky grey handgun seemed much more intimidating. And that was mainly because it was just laying there in Alex's trench coat. He'd had it on him last night when he'd met up with me. I then heard the sound of the bathroom door opening, a sound that would normally be so quiet but with my immediate surroundings void of any other noise I heard it clearly and distinctly. For a brief moment I didn't move, my mind racing so fast I couldn't focus on any one thought. But I didn't need to think to react. Quickly I dropped the gun back down into the trench coat pocket and slammed the closet door shut, much too loudly for it not to be clearly heard through the open doorway. I stood with my back to the closet door, staring at the doorway, waiting for Alex to come in, and at the same time realising that I still held his wallet. My injured hand tightened around it, which sparked a rush of pain through my hand, causing me to drop it just as Alex entered the room.

My heart sunk low in my chest as I stared at his face, fully expecting his calm smooth features to contort into rage as those bright blue eyes scanned the half-emptied duffel bag and then the floor at my feet where the wallet lay, before connecting with me. I couldn't move, I was scared. I hated being yelled at. Johnathan always yelled at me. I'd always wished Johnathan would hit me; physical pain would be comparatively nothing and far easier to handle then the words he'd attack me with. Those words left injuries that never completely went away.

`Were you looking for something?'

I flinched as Alex spoke, even though he hadn't raised his voice. I stared at his face, at the look I couldn't decipher. And that unsettled me more then anything. Usually I could read people quite well, but right now I had no idea what Alex was thinking, what he was feeling. The only thing I could judge by was the situation, and in this situation I expected him to be angry. I was looking for a shirt to borrow.' I closed my eyes for a moment as I heard my own words, heard how pathetic they sounded. I inhaled deeply, glancing down at the open duffel bag with half of its contents still resting beside it before looking back into Alex's eyes. I'm sorry, I started looking for a shirt and then, then I just kept looking.' My words rushed out without pause for a breath. `I know it's wrong, I shouldn't have, I'm so sorry Alex, please don't be angry.'

He walked toward me. Wearing only the same black pants as the night before his bare chest glistened with moisture from the shower. `I'm not angry.' He said quietly.

I was surprised by that, but I shouldn't have been, he wasn't Johnathan. I was even surprised by his movements as he stood before me, I thought he was going to hug me, but he merely reached down to pick his wallet up off the floor. A shudder of disappointment swept through me, I could now only be sure that he was angry. Desperately I reached out for him, thrusting my hands under his arms and wrapping them around him, clinging to his back and pressing my face against his moist, hairless chest. Tightening my grip so that he couldn't get away without force I closed my eyes and whispered. `I'm sorry.'

I felt his arms respond and he embraced me likewise but with even more force, squeezing the breath from me before relaxing and just holding me. I'm not sure how long we stayed like that, but I wasn't in a rush to move and it didn't seem that he was either. I could feel his heart beating as I positioned my head over it. The feeling of my bare skin pressed so firmly against his own was more comforting then any words. I didn't want to ever let go. And I didn't want to think of anything other then the way that it felt to be held by him. The way that his skin smelt, his natural scent mixed with the mild fragrance of the motel soap. I definitely didn't want to think about that gun. Whatever the presence of that weapon meant, I knew Alex could never hurt me. I couldn't let myself believe for a moment that the first person I'd ever had such deep feelings for would harbour any kind of ill will toward me or anyone else. I liked him far too much to allow my thoughts to even linger on the possibility.

Finally I spoke, still holding him tightly because a small part of me feared that he would leave if I didn't. `I just like you so much. I didn't mean to go through your stuff, but I want to know everything about you.'

There's going to be plenty of time for that.' Alex said, squeezing me tighter before releasing his hold, trailing his hands softly over my back to hold onto my shoulders and push me away a little. But we don't need to know everything about each other straight away.' He continued, now looking down into my eyes. `That will take away the fun of learning as we go along.'

He smiled his warm, comforting smile, one that would normally invoke the same reaction in me, but this time I noticed something different in his eyes. They didn't quite smile along with the rest of his strikingly beautiful features. There seemed to be something serious there. `I won't go through your things again without asking, but I still want to know more about you.'

His hands slipped down off my shoulders and his head lowered, his eyes shielded from me now as he looked down at his wallet. You need to relax Logan, I honestly don't care that you went through my things.' He raised his head, looking me in the eye once again. But I think there's something that you want to ask me, you just seem nervous about something.' He glanced back down at his wallet, which he now held in both of his hands, before returning his gaze to me. `Did you see something in here that made you nervous?'

What's in there that could make me nervous?' I retorted. I couldn't help it; him questioning me about his wallet was making me defensive. And I didn't even open your wallet. You can check, nothing in there is touched. I wouldn't steal from you or anything.' Immediately I could see in his face that that was the furthest thing from his thoughts. `I'm sorry; I know you weren't accusing me of that.' I looked down at the grey carpet beneath my bare feet.

`No I wasn't.'

`I know, I guess I'm just used to being accused of something. And after yesterday, how I told you about the truck, I don't want you to think I usually steal things. That truck belonged to a produce company Johnathan owns, I wouldn't just steal off a person. I don't want you to think I'm like that.' I looked back up at him and was surprised to see him smiling.

Tossing the wallet over onto the bed he placed his hands back on my shoulders, this time pulling me forward to press his lips against mine, hard. `You are really cute you know.' He smiled, kissing me again, this time more gently.

You're not too bad either.' I smiled back, feeling instantly calmer both mentally and physically. And in turn, I felt ready to be completely honest. There was something bothering me.' I held onto his waist with my right hand, my thumb curving in under the waistband of his black pants. My left hand would have been up there on his waist too but it had begun to throb with pain, so I knew that pressing it against anything would be a bad idea. `I found something in your trench coat, other then the wallet.' I searched his eyes but was surprised to not see a sign of instant recognition there.

`What did you find?'

And he truly didn't seem to know exactly what I was referring to. I only looked in the front two pockets.' I said, narrowing down the possibilities. I guess you must keep a lot of stuff in there.' Finally his eyes widened slightly along with his smile.

`Oh, you mean the gun?' He asked, far more casually then I'd expected.

`Yeah, why do you have it?'

His right hand moved up to cup the side of my face. A lot of people have guns.' He smiled. It isn't loaded, but if it worries you that much I will make sure you never have see it again.'

I leaned my head against his hand. `Do you have bullets for it?'

He chuckled slightly. `I really should have stayed in the shower longer and let you have more of a thorough search.' He joked.

Nah, I think finding that gun has put me off going through your things.' I replied. But it also made me realise that I don't really know that much about you, I mean I would never have guessed that you carried a gun.'

You do know me Logan, the things that you don't know aren't that important, not yet anyway.' He rubbed his thumb smoothly back and forth over my cheek as he spoke, his comforting smile ever-present. I want you to trust me, I wouldn't do anything to hurt you, you know that don't you?'

`Yeah, I know you wouldn't hurt me, and I do trust you.'

Not completely, not yet.' He said quietly, his tone more serious now though still gentle and caring. But I trust you; I'm not hiding anything because I don't. I really like you Logan, I wouldn't be here if I didn't, and I do want you to know everything.' He words faltered for a moment, as if he was trying to find the right ones to say. You will know everything about me soon. I'm not planning on going anywhere without you. I have some work to do later on tonight but it will only take a few hours and then tomorrow we will go out and have some fun. Some alcohol-free fun.' He winked. And then, I'm hoping you'll come back north with me.'

This sparked a paradox of feelings within me. My smile grew as I heard the meaning behind his words. They were confirmation that he was serious about me and wasn't going to leave me, something I'd unconsciously needed to hear, but at the same time an uneasy pit of doubt opened up deep in my stomach. It was weird, but in my heart I held no reservations, only elation at the thought of leaving this place with Alex. It was my head that was the problem. I usually think logically about things, and logically it seemed stupid for me to suddenly leave the city, leave far behind any kind of help I might need if things went badly with Alex. What are you thinking?' His voice was low and soft, his thumb still caressing my cheek. Am I moving too fast? You can tell me if that's the problem, I won't be offended.'

I don't know.' I sighed honestly, moving my head enough to kiss his hand. I like the idea of leaving this place, getting away from here and going with you. But I'm just a little worried.'

`Because it's too soon and you don't trust me completely yet, it's alright, I understand.'

No...' I couldn't stand the look in his eyes, I couldn't stand him thinking that I felt anything but trust and love for him. I do trust you.' And it wasn't a complete lie, not now when I was speaking from my heart. I leaned forward, kissing him, slipping my tongue in to amalgamate with his for a prolonged moment. Leaning my head back, my chest still pressed against his and his arms now draped loosely around my shoulders, I gazed up into his eyes. `You mean a lot to me, I want to go with you, I do. But it's my family. If it was just Johnathan I could walk away easily, but I can't just disappear, it would hurt Angela and Jamie too much.'

Then don't disappear.' He smiled, his parted lips just begging to be kissed again. Ring them, let them know that you're fine and in good hands.'

Ring them? Yeah, I hadn't thought of that. I was going to go see them soon, before Johnathan gets home. But ringing them would be easier, for me anyway.' I laughed quietly. I'm such a coward.'

That you are.' He laughed lightly back, his arms tightening around me so that barely a breath separated our faces. But you are my coward.'

He leant in to me but I craned my neck back, escaping his kiss, teasing him and forcing him to tighten his grip around me further so that he could ravage my lips without any chance of them being pulled from reach.

`Your family can wait for that call, I need you right now.'

And I knew what he meant; I was just as aroused as him. I leaned into him, placing all my weight on my toes to position my throbbing groin against his. This only heightened the stream of pleasure coursing throughout me, it was intoxicating, numbing my mind to any other thought far better then alcohol did. He was totally in control of my body and easily he leaned me back onto the bed. Our tongues never parted for a moment. I was lost in his mouth, slowing the feverous pace to fully explore the entire orifice before the pace increased once more and he pressed his tongue down deep into my mouth. With his arms on either side of me my hand ran across his smooth back, over each and every moving bulge of muscle in his shoulders, fast then slow, keeping in rhythm with the passion of his tongue. He'd already removed my towel before pushing me back onto the bed and my hips had a mind of their own, thrusting against him. I lowered my hand, tracing my fingers down the small of his back, wanting with all the desire in the world to reach between us and undo the button of his pants and rip them off. But he lowered, pulling his hips down just out of my reach as his lips, his tongue, moved from mine, trailing across my cheek to lick and nibble at my ear. Low moans escaped from my lips as a torrent of sensation burst though me, making me tremble in ecstasy. His wonderful mouth moved down to my neck and I could hardly take anymore. I shuffled down further, breaking his blissful attack on my neck as I grabbed the side of his face forcibly, dragging his lips back to mine and once more positioning his hips exactly where I wanted them. I wasted no time in reaching back down to his slowly gyrating hips and urging my hand in-between us, and he seemed to know exactly what I wanted, raising himself up a little with one hand while his other joined mine in unfastening the button and zip on his pants far quicker then I could have done alone. I felt his hard cock slap against mine and while he lowered his pants down further I wrapped my hand around it, the back of my hand now nestled tightly against his thick pubic hair as I rubbed his hard shaft against my own. Waves of unyielding pleasure jolted through me as my moans grew louder, longer. He was breathing loudly as his face hovered over mine, but I could barely concentrate on his beautiful blue eyes as mine were half-closed and far too clouded with the feelings trembling through me. I couldn't hold back anymore, not when his hand closed around my hard and pulsating shaft, and I didn't care. A low, raw moan sounded deep in my throat as I thrusted hard against his firm grip, cumming in a sudden explosion that I'd never felt with such intensity before. The strength seemed to drain from me as I felt the warmth now seeping between us, but I didn't lose my hold on his still hard cock, raising my hand further up it to lightly caress his wet slit and as his lips connected back with mine, his tongue ramming down deep into my waiting mouth, I felt the shudders course through him, felt his shaft throb in my hand as he pushed it back and forth hard against me before releasing his own load to mix between us with mine. Our bodies moved as one, still hard against each other but in a slower, more relaxed pace. We kissed more slowly, more passionately, breaking apart only briefly to smile wordlessly at each other.

After awhile he rolled over to lie next to me, kicking his pants off properly and then hooking his leg over mine to drag my body as close to his as possible. I wrapped my arm around his waist holding him as his fingers tickled the sensitive skin at the back of my neck. Only my face was apart from the heat of his body so that I could gaze into his deep blue eyes. I want to do that again.' I smiled. I ran my hand over the hot skin of his hips and then couldn't help but reach down to trail a finger lightly over his now flaccid cock, pulling apart from him just enough to look down at it. It seemed thicker then my own, even in its deflated state and for my amusement he made it twitch as I continued to trace round it, pulling the foreskin down to see the pink head and lightly touch it. That felt so good.' In fact it still felt good, I could feel myself becoming hard again just by touching him.

`It felt better then good.' He ran his hand lightly across my lower stomach, through the cum still spread there, tickling me. Bringing his fingers up to my lips I then sucked on them, half closing my eyes as I imagined that I was sucking another appendage of his entirely. In fact, if we hadn't been disturbed I think we might have started again. But the muffled slow beat of one of my favourite songs suddenly started playing, breaking the peaceful atmosphere.

`What's that?' I looked up at him as his fingers dropped from my mouth.

It's your phone.' His eyes narrowed as he raised his head and eyed the black duffel bag across the room, making no other movement toward it. I mean it's the phone I use to talk to you on. Funny, only you have that number.'

Well its not me ringing.' Reluctantly I sat up as his leg slid off me. I watched as he, very reluctantly himself, sat up and swung his legs over the side of the bed. I smiled as I watched the well-defined muscles in his bare and pale ass move away from me over to the bag. He grabbed the items of clothing still remaining in the bag and chucked them out without care, quickly finding the phone just as the song cut off mid-way. I think it was Johnathan.' He said with a slight air of annoyance in his tone. He came back to me and sat beside me, passing me the phone. Immediately I noticed that it was a cheap disposable phone, which didn't really fit with Alex considering the expensive clothes he had. Quickly I looked through the stored numbers, finding only two there, my home phone number and my cell number, which had just rung. For a moment I thought it was strange that my home number was in there, I didn't remember giving him that, but then I had to have, otherwise how would he get it? My thoughts didn't linger on that though. `How come there isn't any other numbers in here?'

`I only use it to talk to you.' He said.

How many phones do you have?' I looked back up to him but he only winked and smiled mysteriously at me in return. Looking back down to the phone I saw that it was almost five pm. Maybe it wasn't Johnathan, it could have been Jamie. I really should ring them back.'

It was the last thing I felt like doing, and as I stared at the phone Alex held my arm, pulling it up vertically to examine my hand more closely.

`Does this hurt? It doesn't look very good.'

I looked over at my hand that he held, seeing that the bandage was half unravelled and stained a pinkish red. The pains constant, so it's not too bad.' I replied quickly, pulling my hand out of his grasp and resting it across my legs, returning my gaze to the phone in front of me. It'll be fine, it just needs re-bandaging.' I added feeling his concern. I didn't know how to feel about him worrying about me, I didn't want him too, but at the same time it felt kind of good that someone cared.

`It's not fine, but I'll fix it.' He said in a tone which left me knowing that even if I objected he wouldn't listen. He left my side once more but my main thoughts were still on the phone. I stared at it just waiting for it to ring again. I hoped it had been Jamie who'd rung; I didn't want to talk to Johnathan and if it had been Johnathan then that would probably mean that he was at home.

`Give me your hand.'

I blinked looking up at Alex, who was sitting on the bed next to me again. He dropped a small black case with a first aid logo adorning the lid onto the bed in front of him. My home had many first aid kits in it, although they were green in colour. I'd used one to fix my hand in the first place and so as I held my hand out to him I dropped the phone down onto the bed and opened it up. `I can do it myself.' I said even though I knew it was useless to say.

I'm doing it.' He growled with a smile, his tone momentarily too severe to be taken seriously. He drew air in loudly between his lips as he unravelled the once white bandage and revealed the gapping wound cutting through the skin on the underside of my hand. The small strips of tape I'd used to keep the deep laceration closed had loosened and the surrounding skin appeared angry and red. I had to look away from it, looking at it seemed to make the pain much more obvious, and instead I looked to the open first aid case. But I didn't see what I expected. The case was packed with all the normal things; gloves, different sized bandages and antiseptic spray, even insect repellent and mild pain relief. But lined in the top of the case was a series of different coloured tubes containing clear liquid. None of the first aid kits at home had been as well stocked as this one appeared to be, I didn't even know what half of what I was looking at was. Are you are a pharmacist by chance?' I couldn't help but ask.

A portable one, just for you.' He smiled as he carefully cleaned my wound with a cotton ball dipped in some clear solution. His touch was so gentle but still it made my hand burn with pain. You really should be seeing a doctor, this needs stitches.'

No it doesn't.' I replied adamantly. I had a longer gash on my leg a year ago and I just taped it up, it healed okay.'

`Yes but I'm sure it left a meaty scar, and took twice as long to heal, just as this will.'

He was probably right, but I definitely didn't want to see a doctor. He cleaned away the dried blood, which was instantly replaced with fresh blood, and then pulled one of the tubes from the top of the case. He hesitated now, concentrating on my eyes. `Do you get squeamish?' he asked.

I stared back at him, not sure what he meant. `What are you going to do?'

`I think you should look away, it won't be so bad then.'

I didn't look away from his eyes for a long moment. I could see that he cared about me; I knew he wouldn't hurt me anymore then necessary. `Okay, but you can't say that I don't trust you after this.' I looked away quickly, wanting him to hurry up and get it over with, focusing my eyes on the phone lying near me as his hand held my wrist firmly against his leg. For a long, drawn out moment I felt nothing, and then suddenly there was a searing pain, darting in through my hand to engulf the entire thing in seconds. Red hot pain. I squeezed my eyes closed and bit my lower lip to try and keep myself from crying out. It felt like he was ramming a knife deep into my wound, twisting it around. It hurt more then when it had first been slashed by the windshield of the truck shattering over me. Tears sprang to my eyes as I tried to think of something else, anything as long as it took my mind away from the pain. I grabbed the rumpled bed spread and pulled it closer, pulling Alex's wallet

close enough to grab at the same time. I flipped the wallet open to try and keep my mind from the pain. And at the same time as I spied the unfamiliar picture staring out at me from the open wallet, the pain started to dull. It was quite sudden. One moment the pain was searing badly, and the next it was gone, leaving me unable to even feel my hand. He could have cut it off for all I knew, but I didn't want to look. Logically I knew he'd numbed my hand with something, the sharp pain I'd felt before had probably been a needle of anaesthetic. I took a deep breath, letting it out slowly as memories of the pain now gone slowly faded too. I stared at the picture set on the drivers licence within the wallet, wondering who it was. And then I recognised the eyes, the same deep blue eyes. It was Alex, although his hair was longer, almost down to his shoulders in the picture, and dyed a light blond. As I looked closer at the face I realised that it didn't look so different, the photo was probably only taken a few years ago, but with the longer, light coloured hair he looked at a glance entirely different. I read over his full name out aloud, `Alexander Luke Riccarton, I didn't even know your last name.'

`Well then snooping has its good points.' He chuckled.

You have a lot of credit cards.' I further mentioned as I sifted through all the cards. And half of them don't even have your name on it, who is Jacob Fantony?'

A friend.' Alex said. One who likes to share.'

I could hear the smile in his voice and so didn't think much of it, replacing the cards and opening the larger section in the middle where all the money was kept. `Damn you carry a lot of cash on you, there must be hundreds here. I think I see why you carry a gun.' I was still uncomfortable about the gun, but joking about it helped.

Try a few thousand.' He corrected. And it's all done.'

I looked over to see that my hand was neatly bandaged. Thanks.' I held my hand up before me. It felt strange not being able to feel it, the entire thing was numb. You made a neater job then I did.'

He wrapped an arm around my shoulder, his other hand reaching across me to close and take his wallet from my hand. Yes, well, I don't like going to see the doctor either, so I've had practice.' He lightly kissed my cheek. I saw the McDonalds across the street, so how about I go and get us something to eat? I know I'm hungry, and then you'll have some privacy to ring home.' He motioned down toward the phone. `That is unless you want to keep stalling.'

I leaned my head against his. `Yeah I'm hungry, and I know I have to ring them.'

You don't have too.' He replied, getting up to look for his pants. I think you should just ignore them so that I can steal you away.' He turned his head back to wink at me as he found his pants and then moved to the small stack of clothes lying beside the black duffel bag.

Yeah, I wish I could.' I sighed, holding the phone now but unable to tear my eyes from his naked body. And wear the blue shirt.' I added.

He picked up the blue shirt, adding it to the black pants and briefs he had hanging over his arm. `Yes sir.' He nodded with a wide grin, before walking out the door.

I heard him go into the bathroom, probably for another shower before heading out for the food. I needed one too, and wanted to go and join him, but if I did that then it would soon be six. I needed to ring home while Johnathan wasn't there. I looked back down at the phone, smiling to myself as I remembered that Alex had used my favourite song of the moment as the ringtone for when I called. In a sudden urge I flicked to the voice messages, and saw that the one I'd left him last night was still there. Did I really want to hear it? The answer to that was no, but I found myself pushing the buttons to listen to it anyway.

Why aren't you there?' My voice sounded as I held the phone up to my ear. I wish you would pick up, I really need you. Things are really going to shit here right now; I need to talk to you. I have to leave; I'm going down the hill to the cemetery, please meet me there.' I cringed at how slurred my words were, I hadn't realised how bad I sounded when I was drunk. I wanted to stop listening right there, but I didn't stop the message, I now wanted to know everything that I'd said, and for one main reason. I have to get away from here.' My voice continued to drawl in my ear. I have to get away from this shit. I need you Alex, please come.'

The message ended and I lowered the phone. Nope, no more mention of the cemetery. How did Alex find me? The city had three large cemeteries, and a few other smaller ones, the only clue I'd given was that it had a hill, which effectively described each and every one of them. Alex wasn't from here, and I definitely knew I hadn't told him where I lived. So how did he know that I'd gone to the only cemetery so close to my home? I rubbed my eyes. Maybe he'd just taken a good guess; I'd have to ask him about it later. But right now I really had to stop stalling and ring home.

It seemed that after all of my procrastinating the only thing I'd actually achieved was to make myself nervous. I was far more nervous about pushing that button on the phone then I needed to be. What was the worst that could happen? Breathing out slowly I quickly dialled the number before I could prolong the inevitable any further. Holding the phone up to my ear and staring ahead vacantly out the open doorway I listened to the dial tone.

`Hello?'

I recognised Jamie's voice straight away. Hey, it's me.' I said, sighing loudly with relief. It's all good, I told myself, its Jamie not Johnathan. Who else is home?' I was answered with an extended period of unnerving silence. `Jamie? Look, I'm sorry about last night, but Johnathan told me to leave...'

Why?' Jamie cut me off mid-way. Why didn't you tell me?'

He didn't yell but I could hear the anger and pain in his voice. I'd upset him, and I knew exactly how even though I asked. `What didn't I tell you?'

`What you told dad, you said you liked guys. Is it true?'

I couldn't help feeling guilty. `I'm sorry, I should have told you.'

`So it's true?'

`Well, I like one guy. But it's new, I only didn't say anything because nothing had happened.' I blinked to clear my vision as Alex appeared in the doorway.

Jamie's voice was quieter now, just barely above a whisper. `You have to come home.'

Then there was some kind of interference with the phone on his end.

`Logan?' Another voice now sounded. Johnathan's voice.

Alex motioned with his thumb toward the door, signalling that he was leaving. I shook my head in response. I didn't want him to go, and he seemed to understand, his features drawn serious, worried, as he came in and sat down on the end of the bed. Just looking at him seemed to give me strength.

`Hi.' I said quietly into the phone.

`Where are you?' Johnathan asked, his tone even and controlled but far too impassive, and immediately it put me on edge.

`I'm staying at a motel.' I cringed inwardly and bit the tip of my tongue, instantly wishing I hadn't said that. It may take Johnathan several phone calls, but, if he wanted too, he could find me, and I'd just helped him narrow the search down.

`Come home now Logan.'

`I'm fine here; I don't want to go back there.'

`Who are you with?'

My gaze had dropped down to the bedspread which I was absently rubbing a corner of between my fingers, but now I looked back up at Alex. `A friend.' Even though it may have been easier, I couldn't deny Alex's existence. I liked him far too much.

`How long has this been going on?'

I was a little caught off guard by the question, but even more so by Johnathan's tone, which hadn't changed. I'd expected anger, and it irked me that he was hiding it, remaining passive just because he knew I could hang up the phone at any moment. I know you want to yell at me, but it's not going to change anything.' I was aware that I was beginning to yell now myself, but I didn't care. I twisted the bed cover between my fingers, now staring down at it without even seeing it. You told me to leave, so now I have! I'm not going back.' I gritted my teeth, trying to control the sudden rush of anger that burnt through me.

`How long?' Johnathan repeated, his tone now lower, softer.

The change in his tone left me with no fuel to sustain the anger flowing through me, and it quickly burnt out. I was almost speechless. It was the last thing I expected. Anger I could handle, but this just confused me. I've known him for awhile.' I said more quietly, pausing for a moment, expecting him to interrupt. But he didn't. He's been a good friend to me, I met up with him last night...' I hesitated, not sure how to say what I wanted to. `I like him more then just as a friend.' I finally said.

`He sounded older then you.'

I'd almost forgotten that Johnathan had spoken to Alex briefly last night. He is.' The longer I spoke to Johnathan the more confused I felt. He almost sounded worried now, and I could kind of understand why. But not that much older.' That was a small lie, at thirty-six Johnathan was only five years older then Alex, making him much closer in age to Alex then me. But I knew deep down that Johnathan wouldn't truly accept whoever I was with if it was a guy, so I had to try and make him at least view Alex as positively as possible. `He's been really good to me...' But as Johnathan then cut me off it seemed that he didn't want to know.

`What is his name?'

His name?' I knew that Johnathan had to already know Alex's first name, it was in my phone. I looked up at Alex, sitting quietly on the end of the bed, as he suddenly shook his head. I mouthed what?' to him, not really understanding what he was trying to tell me. It seemed like he didn't want me telling Johnathan his name.

`Tell me his name.' Johnathan repeated.

Alex came over to me, sitting in front of me dressed smartly in his pale blue shirt. It really did bring out his eyes. But those eyes were far more serious now then I'd ever seen them before.

`Don't tell him my name.' Alex whispered, his hand taking hold of the arm I held the phone in, gently but firmly.

I stared at him in confusion. `I don't understand.'

`I'm asking for his name Logan.' Johnathan replied in my ear, becoming exasperated.

My mouth moved but no words came out. I didn't understand what had come over Alex, I didn't understand why it was so important for him to keep his name a secret from Johnathan. In the second that I sat there thinking about it I couldn't make any sense from it at all. And still Johnathan's voice was in my ear.

His name is Alex Riccarton.' I finally said. He's not from around here but...' I didn't get to even begin to state all of the reasons why I liked Alex so much. Because suddenly Alex was pulling my arm down, easily snatching the phone from me and cutting Johnathan off.

Alex looked up from the phone he now held and into my shocked face, his own sullen features now a mask I couldn't interpret as he spoke quietly. `You shouldn't have said that.'

To be continued....?