CHAPTER 12 - MENDED PROMISES and DISAPPOINTMENTS
I sat on my stairs for a little with my face buried in my hands. My cheeks were hot and clamy from my tears. I looked up at the door and Philip was still standing there. He just looked at me and I couldn't decipher what exactly his expression was.
I got up and opened the door and he just looked at me. We stared at one another in silence.
"Why is this so important to you? Really, why can't you just let me do what I wanna do?" he grabbed my cheeks and looked into my eyes.
"The reason is that...my grandfather died from lung cancer because he used to smoke. I don't want you to die...you jerk," I added not trying to sound sappy. "He had smoked since he was our age and he died a few years ago. I can't believe you are stupid enough to think you can smoke and not have any consequences to it, Philip," I looked to the floor and nudged my lips to his hand, kissing his thumb. His touch was gentle and had a genuine warmth to it.
"I'm sorry, I didn't know. I really didn't know you felt so strongly about it, Eugene," Philip took me into his strong arms. "I promise this time that I really will try to stop."
"Yeah, promise like last time...I can't believe you lied to me. How could you lie to me?" I muffled out weakly.
"I know it's going to be hard to trust me because of what I did. I don't know what else to say. It's my fault and I'm glad you care enough to try to make me stop. I guess I took you for granted and I shouldn't," he said as he gently kissed my forehead and held me more tightly.
I just grabbed his chest more tightly and sunk my face into his shoulder and he stroked my hair to calm me down. We made our way back up the stairs when I noticed a letter for me on the counter. It was the college I had set all my hopes upon going to. It was a tiny envelope and I was getting concerned. I opened up the envelope to see:
Dear Eugene,
We are sorry to inform you that we cannot extend our admissions to you for the Fall semester.
You were one of among 3000 applicants for only 1000 spots and there were many factors that went into our consideration of your application...
I dropped the letter on the floor and it felt as if someone had punched me repeatedly in the stomach. I started tearing and Philip picked up the letter and read it.
"Fuck them. Who needs them? I know you really wanted to go there, but if they think you're not qualified, maybe you don't want to go to their school," he said clutching me to his chest.
He was full of it, but it felt nice that he was at least trying to calm me down. I sunk my face into his chest and started sobbing. It was incredibly disappointing to realize that I had worked hard for my four years of high school and to find out that it wasn't enough to reach my goal. I'm not sure if Philip truly understood what I was feeling, but he continued to console me.
"Think of it this way, baby...you can stay local and we can be together," he said as I looked up.
He smiled softly and I mustered the energy to smile back. He kissed me gently on the lips and continued to hold me. Now, that I looked at his face, I saw genuine disappointment for me in his eyes.
Right then, I took the letter in my hands and tore it to pieces and threw it into the garbage can. "You know what? You're right. Fuck them," I turned around and gave a kiss on the cheek.
We both were still standing there as Philip tried to console me. We made our way back into my room, as I crashed onto my bed thinking about everything. I was in mid-thought about how lucky I was to have someone as special as Philip, when he put his hand on my cheek and locked his soft lips onto mine.
I fell asleep that night wrapped in his strong embrace...
Want to find out what happens next? Comments? E-mail me at moonchil0@aol.com if you want to have the next chapter posted!