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Farthest Pasture Chapter 4 Meanings
Auggie stares at the shadows on his ceiling and listens for outdoor sounds. He can't get to sleep. He can't come down from Ray telling him he loves him. How could he? It makes his head swim, and it's a fantastic feeling. He yawns and rolls over on his side. He'll try this position for a while. He does end up falling to sleep and dreams of Ray and his life together, believing now it is more than ever possible.
Ray, in his underwear, sits with his back against the headboard. He feels much the same as Auggie. Ray also is thinking of the future and if they will be together. He wants that. He wants to always be around Auggie. He has given up on wondering if two guys loving each other is wrong or unusual. He doesn't care anymore. He knows this means he's gay and that there's not much hope of him living in this town. He decides tonight to break up with Lisa. He's tired of pretending so much.
Morning comes, and both boys wake up, still thinking of the previous night's revelation. They feel happy and relieved for it to be out in the open. They get ready for school thinking of how's it going to be when they see each other this morning.
As usual, Auggie is the first at school. Ray is running late pretty much his entire life. It was one of the things about Ray that made him laugh. When you are with him, you're on Ray time. Auggie stays in his truck reading and going over class notes waiting for Ray to get here. Ray spies the 250 and Auggie before Auggie sees him. His heart jumps. He parks and gets out of the car. He heads over to Auggie.
Ray taps on the glass. "Good morning," he says as Auggie invites him in.
"I couldn't sleep last night. I can't believe we did that," Auggie says looking around to see who can see them. No one pays them any attention. They've been friends since kindergarten. The two of them sitting together would illicit no gossip. Ray reaches out to hold Auggie's hand.
"What are you talking about?" Ray asks he can't complete the joke because he begins to laugh. "I'm glad we said it."
"Me too. It felt amazing. I wish we could have spent the night together."
"Me too. Hey, I love you," Ray says through a smile.
"I love you," Auggie says. "Let's go in and start the day."
"Oh yeah, I'm breaking up with Lisa this afternoon."
"What?"
"One less thing I have to pretend. It's a good thing; trust me." Ray assures him.
They go there separate ways once inside. They won't see each other until third period and then that will be only briefly. School is the same as it always is nothing new happens. It turns out to be just another ordinary Tuesday. Both Auggie and Ray leave school at the same time. They have to get home to get farm work done. Auggie plans to visit Ray this evening. They are going to say it's a project their working on to avoid any suspicion from Ray's parents.
It's seven o'clock, and Ray is looking for Auggie. He's already laid the story out to his parents. Telling them, it might take all week since they only have a couple of hours a night. Auggie has a presentation from last year they are going to use for further cover. All this is made possible by parents who don't get too involved with their kids' lives.
The sun has set, and it's dark, making it easy to spot headlights coming up the drive. Ray's house doesn't set off the road as Auggie's does. He spots the lights of the 250, and his heart jumps. He has a lot to tell Auggie.
Auggie exits the truck and goes towards the house. Ray's father is sitting on the back porch smoking. "Hello, Mr. Phillips," he says as he climbs the steps.
"Hello to you Auggie. How's your mom and dad doing?"
"Good working on finishing up the fall farm work."
"Same here. Go on in son," Ray's father says through smoke opening the door.
"Thank you, sir," Auggie responds, going into the kitchen. It smells familiar and reminds him of his kitchen. There's no one around, but soon Ray is standing in the doorway.
"Hey, come on up," Ray says grazing Auggie's hand as he walks by.
"How's it going?"
"Not bad. Let's wait until we get in my room." How similar their rooms are. Typical country boy rooms full of everything they've ever owned and collected. Ray shuts the door.
"So, how did it go with Lisa?" Auggie asks.
"Not as bad as I thought it would. She didn't cry or try to persuade me to change my mind. She made me promise that if we didn't have dates for the prom that we would go together as friends."
"Wow, that's crazy."
"We even hugged after it was all said," Ray explained. He was glad there was no scene, and Lisa wasn't hurt. He felt guilty about having used her. She appeared to be expecting it.
"That is so cool. I'm glad it worked out for you," as Auggie says this Ray leans over and presents his lips to kiss. It's light and lovely as kisses go. Auggie's happy to be here.
"I want to ask you something, and if you're not interested, it's fine. I'm going to put it out there," Ray says.
"Go ahead." A million things are flowing through Auggie's mind.
"We have never discussed anal," Ray knew he was pushing it. What if Auggie asks if he's ever done anal. He doesn't want to lie.
"I'm not opposed to anything sexual with you."
"Okay, what about this weekend? My parents are leaving Friday to visit my aunt and uncle in west Tennessee. They'll be gone until Sunday night. We can stay here together."
"Play house?" Auggie asks.
"If that's what you want to do. That'll be great."
"It's a date. My parents won't care. The only thing is I'm not wearing an apron for you." Ray and Auggie laugh. "I need to get going," Auggie says looking for another round of kissing before he walks down the hall, out the door, and drives home. Ray obliges with the kisses.
The rest of the week goes by rather fast. Around school there's very little discussion on Lisa and Ray's breakup. The boys decide not to attend Friday's football game or do very much in town over the weekend. They want to be around the house practicing what married folks do. Silly in thought, but they are looking forward to it all. And of course the anal sex experiment.
"What time are you planning on getting to my house?" Ray asks.
"What time are your parents leaving?" Auggie asks not wanting to entertain the thought of talking with Ray's, a little off, parents.
"They're picking up Jenny at school around noon. So, they will be gone when we get out."
"Cool, I'll run home and be there before 4:00. Is that okay?"
"Great, there's plenty of junk to eat at the house, but I'm going to pick a few extras. See you around 4:00," Ray says as he and Auggie part ways in the hall. Third period was over, and they wouldn't see much more of each other until after school.
On his way home, Auggie stops to get some Funyuns at the corner market. He whispers to himself, "You can never have too many Funyuns." He gets home and goes to the barn first. His dad is out there fixing a mower. "Hey, dad."
"Hi son, you getting ready to go to Ray's?"
"Yeah, I was wondering if you needed anything?"
"Not that I can think of, but ask your mom."
"I will. I'll see you on Sunday.
"Have fun and don't get into trouble," Auggie's dad always says that. He's never been in trouble for anything.
He heads inside to see about his mom and grab his bag. She tells him to behave and kisses him. Does she know what he and Ray are going to be doing this weekend? A little guilt passes through Auggie's mind. He doesn't know why. He exits the house, throws his bag into the cab of the truck, and jumps in. He's ready for this to begin. On the way over he thinks on when they'll do it.
Ray has decided that they'll spend the weekend in the den. With its fold-out sofa, TV, bathroom it is the perfect place to hang all weekend. He rushes to set everything up. He gets extra pillows and sheets from the hall closet. He brings a cooler down full of ice and drinks so that they won't be running up and down the stairs. He's got everything ready. His mom left lasagna thawing on the counter. It will be great for dinner. His dad has even left them a six-pack for the weekend. Ray also has some whiskey and vodka stashed away.
"Hey, where are you?" Auggie shouts from the kitchen.
"Down here," Ray says knowing that in a second Auggie will be bounding down the stairs.
"What's up." Auggie comes in for a kiss and is met with Ray's open mouth.
"Nice, you're ready to start this party?"
"Yes, make that a hell, yes." They embrace and continue kissing for a couple of minutes.
"Moms left dinner and dad's left beer, aren't we lucky?" Ray says.
"I'd say."
"Get comfortable. I'm going to put the lasagna in and change clothes."
"I'll change clothes too. What's the attire for this weekend?" Auggie is jokingly asking.
"Whatever you want, the less, the better."
"Well, let's keep our shirts on until after we eat."
"Cool," Rays says mounting the steps.
Auggie wanders around a little before changing clothes. He's been in this room may be a thousand times. It's different when you're alone. He takes his pants off and changes into some shorts. He removes his shoes and socks. This is his idea of being comfortable. Ray bounds down the steps dressed like Auggie.
"Are you nervous?" Ray asks. He can read Auggie well.
"A little this is different, and then there's the sex thing."
"Do you think we aren't having sex because we aren't doing anal?"
"Never thought about it," Auggie lies. He's thought about it a lot since the first time he had anal sex. He didn't know how to bring up the topic with Ray. He worried he'd have to tell him about camp.
"Sure, you have. I don't think it matters. We do things that make us feel good. Now if we want to add something else that's cool too," Ray says still wondering if he's going to share his only anal experience with Auggie.
"Agreed."
They play video games until the timer goes off. They rush upstairs to fill plates with food so they can return to playing. They take turns winning.
"This is good," Auggie says with a filled mouth. They play and eat without talking much. Ray takes the plates upstairs and brings down his boombox. He's got a mixtape for later.
"Come here," Ray says, patting the sofa beside him. Auggie does what's asked of him. He kisses Ray's neck and then lies his head on Ray's chest. "Let's take this slow, okay?"
"Whatever you would like. Can we stay like this for a while?"
"Sure," Ray replies, kissing Auggies head. He squeezes his shoulder and rubs on his back. There really isn't a need to talk about anything. They seldom just get to be in each other's embrace.
The boys decide that it's time for showers. They opt to take one together something else they've never been able to do. They touch a lot and kiss while the water cascades over them both of them with raging hardons. They don't put on clothes wrapping up in towels instead. Ray lights the gas logs and places them on low. They crawl into bed.
"This is nice," Auggie says.
"I'm glad you are here with me," Ray responds, offering an arm to Auggie for his head. Ray brings Auggie in close. "We don't have to do this tonight, you know."
"I know, but I want you to fuck me," Auggie says between kisses.
"I want to fuck you," is all Ray can say.
"Okay good we are on the same page, but I also want to fuck you."
"Cool." They begin to kiss it's soft at first with them rolling around grinding into each other. They feel electric.
"How are we going to do this? Do you have any lube?" Auggie asks.
"How do you want to do it?"
"You on top between my legs. I want to look at you."
"If we can do it that way," Ray seems confused.
"We can. I trust you."
"I trust you," Ray says as he reaches for the Vaseline he's hidden in the end table. He takes a small amount out as Auggie pulls his legs up to his chest. "Is this okay?" Ray seeking assurance that he can touch Auggie's hole.
"Yes," Auggie breathes in as the sensation of someone else touching him there. He's only fingered himself a few times. Most of the time, he masturbates, focusing on what all boys do, their penis.
Ray slicks himself up as he thinks about how hard this is going to be to get off. He gets into position lining his dick up to Auggie's hole. "I think you're supposed to breathe in as I go in."
"Yeah," Auggie says trying to relax, but it's difficult. He breathes in. There's a sharp pain. He grinds his teeth through it. "Kiss me," he orders Ray.
"You feel so good," Ray says kissing Auggie's face and neck even stopping to nibble on his ear. "This is great. Are you okay?"
"Yeah, it hurts just a little, but I'm fine. You can go ahead."
Ray begins to pull out and immediately dreads his decision. He feels like he's about to explode. "I'm not going to last long. This is another level."
"That's okay; you're driving."
And with that, Ray gives up three good pumps before he feels himself begin to release his load. He goes in deep bitting Auggie's neck. "Damn -- I'm sorry." He thinks he's never going to stop coming.
"It's good just stay like this," Auggie has begun to love the feeling of being full. He flexes he ass around Ray's dick, causing him immense pleasure. "I'm coming, I'm coming," he says as the greatest orgasmic wave washes over him.
The boys remain connected with Auggie's cum drying between them. They kiss and even laugh at what they've just accomplished. It wasn't as bad as Auggie imagined it to be. He wanted it to happen; he wasn't sure how bad it was going to hurt. He trusts Ray and knew he'd never hurt him. Ray can't believe it was so intense.
They finally break apart and go their separate ways to clean up. Auggie felt different now that he was empty. He reflects on the experience and thinks on when it will be his time to fuck Ray. Ray thinks about the feeling of the orgasm and how much different it felt with Lisa. Maybe it's because of the more emotional connection he has with Auggie. Who knows? Both come back to bed naked and happy.
"How did you do that, come without being touched?" Ray asks curious if he's going to be able to do the same thing.
"I'm not sure. There was this tingle/funny feeling down there, and I wanted to keep it going. I didn't know it was going to result in me having a huge come." Auggie does his best to explain.
"Sounds cool can't wait," Ray thinking about the time he was fucked and how he really didn't have those feelings. He did feel the fullness, but he wouldn't call what he felt as tingly or funny. He was looking forward to Auggie fucking him none the less.
The boys fall asleep, curled around one another. They have happy dreams full of sex and togetherness. Ray is the first one to awake. He doesn't move fearing he will disturb Auggie. He likes watching him sleep, which is what he does. Suddenly Auggie stirs. "I've got to pee," he says.
"Me too," Rays says kissing the sleepy boy. They move around before getting out of bed to take care of business. Ray brushes his teeth while Auggie pees and then they swap places.
As Auggie exits he smacks Ray on the ass. "When is it my turn?"
"What about now?"
"Good there's no time like the present."
"I hate procrastination," Ray says, flushing the toilet and making sure his ass is clean. He follows behind Auggie whose leading him to the bed.
"Do we want to do it the same way as last night?"
"Yeah, I want to be able to watch you." Ray lies down on his back and pulls his knees up, doing his best to do what Auggie did last night. Auggie takes the lube and dabs some on Ray's hole and places some on himself. He decides to give Ray's a little more attention.
"Just breathe. I'm not going to hurt you," Auggie says.
"I know." Ray is doing a good job at relaxing.
"Here I go," says Auggie as he places the head of his cock against Ray's hole. The first thrust grazing the pucker and slides up. "Relax."
"I am," Rays says right as the sharp pain comes from Auggie hitting the spot.
"Oh my god," Auggie whispers as Ray stays silent, doing his best to focus. "You okay?"
"Yeah, go ahead."
Auggie brings his mouth close to Ray's neck, kissing up until he gets to the ear where he takes a bite. He slowly pulls back and immediately pushing back in only deeper this time. Ray moans as he feels all of Auggie in him. He begins to enjoy being fucked. Ray starts to get a strange feeling in his groin, almost like he's got to piss but deeper. He likes this whatever it is.
"I'm close," Auggie lets him know.
"Go on. Come in me." Ray bares down opening himself up as much as he possibly can. Auggie goes all the way and begins to empty his balls. Ray fills his orgasm building. "Please don't stop. I'm almost there. Please."
Auggie continues to pump until he feels Ray's asshole pulsing slowly. He knows Ray has come. He collapses. "That was amazing."
"Didn't I tell you?" Ray asks. Proud that he didn't chicken out for fear of the pain. It wasn't as bad as he had imagined. "I love you."
"I love you." And with that, they fall back to sleep.