Hey, Everyone Nifty needs your donations to provide these wonderful stories in our own words http://donate.nifty.org/donate.html
Farthest Pasture Chapter 6 Goodbye
It became more apparent to Auggie that Ray wasn't going to be leaving with him. It broke his heart, and he did his best to hide his sadness. His parents grew concerned about him but thought it was maybe the fear of moving away that was bothering their son.
"You're in this funk. You've got to get out of it so you can get prepared for college," his dad said not fully understanding the turmoil his son was going through. At this point, Auggie knew he was going to have to be better at hiding his feelings.
"I'm fine. I'm worried about a lot of things that will be going on here once I leave. Are you sure you and mom are going to be okay?"
"Yes, don't worry about us and since you received the full ride to UT, everything's going to be that much better. Do us a favor and don't get bogged down with worry about us. Take care of what you need to do to keep up your grades and still have a fun time. This farm isn't going anywhere."
"I know. I can't seem to help it," Auggie did his best only to explain a little. As much as he wanted to save himself from this town, he knew that Ray, if he stays, will have to live a lie the rest of his life. Auggie was glad to be getting out. He knew the big university was his ticket.
Auggie and his father went their separate ways getting work done. Auggie did his best to forget about leaving, and his dad wished he could assure his son that the world moves on, things change, and you learn to adapt. He'll think more about this subject trying to fit Ray into some aspect of the issue.
Ray and Auggie haven't seen much of each other since graduation. There was a lot of work to get done, and both were tired by the end of the day. They had something planned for the end of the week, and both are looking forward to the camping trip. Auggie decides he will bring up the subject of leaving. Fuck Ray, this has to be discussed one last time.
Ray arrives at Auggie's farm about midday. He notices the 250 but not sure where anyone is. He heads up on the back porch and is greeted. "Hey, Ray, you ready for this camping trip?" Auggie's mom asks. "Auggie said y'all don't need anything, but I did get some Funyuns, M & Ms, and a twelve-pack of beer. Auggie doesn't know about the beer it's kinda my surprise for you guys."
"Thanks, that's great. Where is Auggie?"
"He's either in the barn or loading the truck," Auggie's mom says without looking up from her chores. "Good to see you," Auggie's mom genuinely means this.
"Good to see you. I'm going to go find him." Ray exits and now notices Auggie standing at the back of the truck. He goes and get's his things out of the car. "Hey, bud."
"I was just wondering where you were. I've got about everything loaded. Do you remember where we put the stove the last time we went camping?" Auggie asks.
"I can honestly say no. I can go back home and get my dad's."
"No, come here and help me look." Ray heads to the barn. As he rounds the truck, Auggie reaches out and touches him but not so anyone can see them. "I'm looking forward to tonight."
"Me too. It's been a long time," Ray says excited about what's happening tonight and being able to swim in this hot weather. The pond is always so cold because of the creek that feeds into it.
As if reading his mind, Auggie says, "The first thing I want to do today is go for a swim, sorry the other can wait."
"I'm with you; I need to be cooled off." The boys joke while they finish packing. "You know your mom got us a twelve- pack," Ray says.
"No, I asked my dad. He's at the store right now. I guess we'll have enough beer for three days."
"I brought a cooler that's just full of ice so we should be good."
"Yeah, I'm not coming back home to get anything," Auggie says. "I guess we're waiting for Dad."
"Here, he is now."
Getting out of the car, Auggie's Dad asks, "You men ready?" handing the boys another twelve-pack. "Don't tell your mother."
Auggie laughing. "She got us one too, but I didn't know until Ray told me."
"Sneaky," Dad says.
"No, I didn't ask her she just did it."
"Yeah, she told me when I went in to find Auggie," Ray offers.
"Well it's your mother that's sneaky. You two enjoy yourselves and don't do anything I wouldn't do," Dad laughing.
The guys get in the 250 and take the pasture across the farm and up the hill until they get to their spot. The truck is pulled, so the cab is under a tree while the bed is sticking out so the boys will be able to see the stars. They are so close and brilliant out here on this little rise. It's better than watching the shadows on your ceiling. The campout is underway. Ray gets the fire ready for tonight while Auggie sets up the camp chairs and table, so they have someplace to drink. Once the work is done, they remove their clothes and head to the pond. As expected, the water is cold and inviting in this hot weather.
"So mister what do you have planned for dinner tonight?" Ray asks.
"I've brought fried chicken and all the fixings."
"Sounds great. Did you get it at Shelby's?"
"You know it." Ray swims closer to Auggie. He reaches out and embraces and kisses him. "I feel so good when I'm with you."
"I do too. What are you going to do without me?" Auggie bringing up the subject sooner than later.
"I don't know what's that going to be like, I haven't completely ruled out running with you."
"I'm not running, and I don't think you have to either. You're an adult and should be able to do what you want with your life."
"Have you thought about what our parents will think when they find out about us? Do you ever think that this may mean we can never come back?"
"That's a choice they're making not us. I think you're dreading something that may not be a big deal. Besides we don't have to share more then we need."
"As I said, I'm still thinking."
"Well, keep that up because I want you with me," Auggie ends the conversation with this. Maybe they will discuss it more as the weekend progresses. Auggie gets out of the water and spreads his towel on the edge. He's going to lie in the sun for a little while waiting for it to go down.
"Hey, you going to come back in Mr. Hardon?" Ray says making fun of Auggie's erection.
"Maybe in a few. I want to be here right now," he says, unsure why. He thinks about camping and making Ray happy. The day stretches along. Eventually, Ray gets out of the water and comes to lie next to Auggie. "I love you."
"Thank you, and I love you," Ray responds, saying this makes his heart feel funny in the right way. "I've always liked being naked outside. What about you?"
"It is rather pleasing and fun," Auggie says.
"I still beat off in the hayloft naked."
"Well, that is interesting."
"Don't act like a prude. I know you've done it all over your farm. Hell, we've done it all over the farm," Ray laughs.
"I know. You don't have to tell me," Auggie responds with a chuckle. It is true he's spread his seed all over the farm, and it was always fun. "I thought tomorrow we could hike to Ravens Point and see if they're any turkeys around. What do you think?"
"Yeah, I'm in for a hike. Can we do it in the woods?" Ray asks.
"Of course if I'm in the mood."
"When are you not in the mood?"
"When aren't you," Auggie lightly punching Ray in the gut. They decide to go for another swim before they get dinner and light the campfire. There's not a cloud in the sky. It's going to be a perfect night complete with beer and sex.
"Can we have fun and not talk about you going away this weekend? I'm really thinking about it and trying to make the best decision," Ray pleads.
"I know you are. I'm nervous that your right choice may not include me. I won't say anything else," Auggie explains his side, and for the first time, realizes that Ray has a lot on him and he may not be able to make him his first choice. They eat and drink talking about old times, which aren't that old. By the time it cools off, and they are ready for bed, the boys are a little drunk.
"Are we going to have drunk sex?" Auggie asks.
"I plan on taking whatever advantage I can to be with you," Ray says.
"What if I wanted to take advantage of you?"
"Does it matter who takes advantage of who?" Ray not caring as long as they both get off. They start slowly kissing and tasting the beer on each other. There are very few clothes for them to take off and in no time both are naked and fully ready.
"I want to fuck you," Auggie says.
"Okay, then I want your ass."
"How do you want this?" Auggie asks. They decide that missionary will be the position of entry. Ray breathes deep as Auggie begins to enter him. It's not rough, nor is it fast. Auggie takes his time wanting to enjoy and give joy. When he bottoms out, he leans in to kiss Ray deep after which he bites him on the shoulder. Ray shudders. "Are you ready?"
"Yes," Ray raggedly says, pulling his legs up so Auggie can get as deep as possible. "Fuck me."
"Your wish is my command," Auggie picks up speed still staying tuned to Ray in case it gets too much for him. He doesn't want to hurt him. Auggie does his best to hold back, not wanting to come to quick. He loves being connected to Ray like this, loves that Ray enjoys being fucked as much as he does. "I'm getting close, can I come in you? Why Auggie asks this, he doesn't know. Ray is always going to say yes. He thinks it's like being allowed into someone's home. You wouldn't want to make a mess.
"Please come in me. Fuck me harder," Ray begs to which Auggie complies and begins to fuck hard and fast. "Yes, come."
"I'm coming. Here it is," Auggie says breathlessly as he collapses on to Ray deeply kissing him. After a moment, Auggie asks, "Are you okay?" "Yes, and I know you are too. That was great," Ray says kissing the top of Auggie's head. Auggie stays still until he falls from Ray's ass. "You got enough strength to get fucked now?" "Yes, can I be on my back?" "Yes," Ray says swapping positions with Auggie. He lines up quickly because he feels at any moment he might explode. "Hope you don't mind, but this isn't going to take long." "Do what you got to do," Auggie says, breathing deep. Ray begins to enter and follows pretty much the same tactic as Auggie. When he bottoms out, he immediately pulls out, taps his dick on Auggie's asshole and plunges back in. Auggie groans. This feels good to him. Ray doesn't take long to reach the apex of his orgasm. He doesn't ask Auggie if he can come in him or tells him this time that he is about to. He finishes in a fit and collapses. Auggie is rock hard again and brings himself to orgasm with Ray on top of him. The campout is a success with the boys running wild in the woods and acting younger than they are. Auggie turns red while Ray gets a deeper tan. They spend the nights having sex of one form or the other enjoying being with each other. Auggie does his best to not think of going away alone. Neither boy wants to go home at the end of the campout. The end gets closer and closer. Auggie has started packing his things. He's very cautious with his money wanting to have some to spend once he gets to college. Between him and his parents, they furnish his dorm room and buy a few new clothes. Auggie avoided talking about leaving as much as he could to the people around him. He did, however, spend a lot of time thinking about it and the difference there are between his small high school and his very large university. A school bigger than his home town. He keeps telling himself he should feel guilty for being excited about this change. As all this is going on, he spends less time with Ray. He figures Ray is keeping his distance because he doesn't want to talk about his choice in staying. Auggie understands and knows it would be a very emotional conversation to have. It's a hot, rainy day. Ray has been working outside most of the day. As the storms roll in, he and his dad seek refuge in the barn. "When is Auggie leaving?" his dad asks. "I'm not sure we've both been working very hard and haven't had the time to chat since the campout," Ray responds, keeping it short and to the point. It wasn't like it was a lie. It's more like a partial truth. Ray couldn't be around Auggie; it made him sad and angry not at Auggie for leaving but at his own life of what he views as servitude to his father's dream. When would it be his turn to have his dream? He wonders if his dad ever felt trapped by his father as he does. The storm lets up, and Ray and his father return to fence repairing. Auggie goes to Ray's on Tuesday to remind him he'll be leaving this Saturday. Auggie has something planned for Thursday night. It will be him and Ray alone in an exit 102 motel room all night. He's also thinking about taking him someplace nice to eat in Chattanooga. He doesn't want to talk about Ray, not leaving or about him going. Auggie just wants to say goodbye. "So, I have something planned for this Thursday. Since I'll be leaving over the weekend I thought we could spend the day together maybe go out to eat and catch a movie," Auggie says.
"Sounds great," Ray says, not wanting to think about his best friend the guy he loves leaving. "Anything special I need to know?" "Will you drive and bring a change of clothes we're spending the night." "Okay," Ray says. He's going to the change the subject now to something safe and dull so as not to make himself sadder. He is going to get through this. "You need any help on the farm before..." "No, we're good with everything. I just have to go, See you Thursday at 3:00, can you get away that early?" "Not a problem, see ya," Ray says, going back to work. His heart flutters in his chest. Wednesday and the early part of Thursday creep along. Ray's parents are fine with him leaving and not returning until Friday. He's not able to give them a time because he doesn't know a lot of the plans. Auggie is in charge. Shouldn't it be Ray doing all the planning and surprising for Auggie? Ray leaves around 2:00 because he can't wait any longer to be with Auggie. He goes to the backdoor and is met by Auggie's parents, who are bringing in groceries. They appear to be in a good mood something Ray doesn't always see in his parents. "Ray," they both say at the same time. "How are you, son?" Auggie's dad asks. "Good, how are you both?" "Doing great. What do you boys have planned this last weekend?" Auggie's mom asks. "I really don't know. Auggie said it was a surprise," Ray responds. "Well, come on in and see if you can find him." "Thanks." Ray follows them in and takes the steps for probably the last time to the refuge of a room he's known for most of his life. He finds Auggie going over everything he's packed. "Hey, I thought we are going out?" Startled, Auggie turns with a confused look on his face. Ray moves in and pushes him up against the desk. He deeply kisses Auggie. "That's nice and a surprise. You're early," Auggie says breathlessly. "I couldn't wait any longer. Are you ready?" "I will be in a minute. I need to put on some clothes," Auggie says going to his closet. "I didn't mean for you to see all this." Auggie noticing Ray looking around. He sees that everything that made this Auggie's room is gone. It looks like a bare room. Ray realizes Auggie is gone and not coming back. Ray holds back his emotions pushing through to the anticipation of fun. "That's okay. It's fine." He turns to look out the window as Auggie finishes getting dressed. "What are we doing?" "Whatever we want?" "What if I want to put you in my car and just keep driving?" Auggie comes up behind Ray and places his head on Ray's shoulders. "You know I'd love that, but it isn't possible," Auggie says, feeling Ray's pain. "Come on, let's get out of here." "I'm with you," Ray says, wiping his eyes. They go out the door and head down the stairs. "We're leaving," Auggie shouts. "Okay boys have a good time," his mom says. They're out of the house before her last word reaches them.
The slide into the front seat and buckle up. "You want to tell me what we are doing or where we are going?" Ray asks.
"Drive towards Chattanooga and take exit 102. I guess I can tell you now. I've planned for us to stop off at our hotel room before going out and get something to eat. You can decide where we go and what we do after. I wanted us to spend this time together doing something we've never been able to do before."
"I'm up for anything as long as I get to be with you."
"Me too," Auggie smiles. He's going to make the best of this situation and try not to get too sad.
They get to the motel, check-in, and unload their bags. They're unsure what to do after this. They're a little uncomfortable for some reason, and conversation isn't coming easy.
"I want to say I think we should forget what's coming and live for right now. You know I can't go," Ray says.
Auggie interrupts. "I agree, and I know, and it's okay as long as you know I can't make any promises. Once I leave, it has to be about me and what I'm going to do."
"Okay, can I kiss you?"
"Of course." They come together lips touching before mouths open and tongues collide. "I love you," Auggie says.
"I love you," Ray whispers back. "Are we going to do this now or go do something else?"
"What do you want?"
"I want to be with you right now in this big bed." Ray begins to pull Auggie's shirt up. He touches the tan, muscular arms as he brings the shirt over his head. Auggie follows his move and begins to disrobe Ray, both stopping when they reach pants. Auggie drops his pants first never the shy one Ray does his best to catch up. Both boys stand face to face looking at each other with strong erections. They jump in the bed.
"You feel so good," Auggie says as he chews down Ray's neck.
"You do too," Ray responds as he grinds into Auggie kneading his ass. "I want you."
"Take it please," Auggie says opening up to Ray's advances. He wants to be consumed by Ray. To be smothered. Ray fucks Auggie first, and then they flip. They end up with Auggie being the big spoon. His arms are tightly encircling Ray.
The boys spend a night in the room not going out on their date or seeing a movie, but just taking turns holding each other. They eat take-out pizza and drink vending machine drinks. They don't talk a lot it's hard to do with hearts breaking. Auggie knows that Ray will always be his first but not his last. Ray drives home doing his best to trick himself into believing that Auggie really isn't leaving. He wants to believe this until Auggie gets out of the car and he can cry on his own.
"I want you to drive up and just let me out. I'm not going to say bye or anything. I want you to go as soon as I'm out of the car," Auggie explains. He's practiced saying goodbye, but he's never been able to complete.
"Whatever you want," Ray says reaching out to grasp Auggie's hand. They ride in silence down the familiar road past known mailboxes and driveways until they reach their destination." Ray pulls to the back like all other friends. He takes a deep breath and holds it.
"I love you," Auggie says low and very slow as if wanting to make sure Ray heard and understood. Ray exhales and pulls Auggie close. They kiss a very tight and hard one both not caring who sees them.
Ray breaks the kiss and with a single tear says, "I love you too." Auggie opens the door and exits the car. He doesn't turn around. He focuses on the backdoor and getting in without anyone seeing him.
"I'm home," he yells as he enters and quickly climbs the stairs. He throws his things into his room and heads to the bathroom where he can have some privacy. His chest hurts. He cries out of control, weeping for the loss of his first love.
Ray decides to pull over because he can't see the road he's crying so hard. His chest also hurts. It hurts because it knows there'll be no late-night escapes to Auggie's house or camping trips. No one to wrap their arms around him or say I love you. Ray feels alone at this moment. He finally makes it home, and he's glad it's empty. He changes clothes and starts his chores -- anything to keep his mind from wandering back to goodbyes.
It's 5:00 AM Saturday and Auggie is up. He loaded the family Suburban the night before with the help of his father. Dad wanted to know if Ray was alright and Auggie assured him he was even though Auggie knew better because he wasn't right himself. All three of them loaded into the vehicle, drove down the driveway, and on to the road that will lead them to the interstate. Auggie keeps his head pointed forward. He doesn't want to look back.