This is a true story that happened to me. I have changed the names. All incidents and places are still the same. This story involves a relationship between two males. You have been warned.
Sweet Memoir of a Fateful Relationship. Part 2
I was awaken by the gentle touch of my neighbor. She could not stand me.
"I am sorry but you seem to be crying a lot in your sleep"
"Oh really? I am sorry. It's just I am leaving my ummm... my.. girlfriend behind."
"Oh, poor you. Don't worry. You will meet her again soon, right"
"Uhmm... Right, eh... maybe. I hope so."
"Is there anything wrong? Are you ok?"
"Yeah, I'll be fine." Trying to show that I was not a whiny guy. I had to be strong. I had been strong all of my lives. Life to me had not been easy. And I had been trained to be a strong guy until I met him. He had taken all of my life source away. His body scent. His charming smile. His caring personality. His total and fullness of his being was just totally uncomparable.
"Well then. Take care ok?"
"Thank you, mam. You are so nice. I'll be fine, really."
The plane finally arrived in Houston. It's was already late. 11:45 p.m. Suddenly, my cell phone rang. It was him.
"How are you doing, kev?"
"I am fine, kent"
"So, how was your flight?"
"It wasn't so bad."
"I could not deny that I miss you so much."
"Same here, Kent. Very much."
"Ok, I gotta go back study, gotta catch up a lot of stuff. Talk to you later, ok?"
"Sure. Take care ok?"
"Thanks"
A few days went by with more saddening moments. We were not as close as we were before. This was because his relationship with Grace was getting more intense. I would wait for his call to say goodnite every night, since we had been doing that before. But his call didn't come since he didn't want to wake me up coz it's getting to late. What he didn't know was that I was still awaken anyway regardless the time he called. I would have my icq on, just in case he got home and got online and checked his email, he could still see me online to say goodnite. It didn't happened as much anymore. And up to a point, it just didn't happen.
Suddenly, an email arrived. An email that I wished I had not opened it. But my heart leaped with joy so high that I would never thought that email was the end of everything. Everything that had his name attached to, was supposed to be a happy thing to my little heart. Therefore, who would have thought that he wanted us to be separated and to move on? That's what his email said,"I think it would be best for all of us not to keep in touch anymore. Though it is very hard for me to say this, but it's for the best for all of us. I will always have you in a special part and place in my heart."
That's it. That's the end of the relationship. However, it's not the end of my feelings. I had to deal with this so bad. Two broken relationship in 3 months. I had finals coming up. I had to pass all of my classes. I could not have any grades lower than B. I had all the works to be done. I had to do this. I had to do that. I could not stand it. I thought I was going nuts. I was totally depressed - burnt out. I remembered my commitment, I could do it. By the grace of God, I finished my semester with surprisingly good grades. None below B. two of them in fact was A. I was pretty happy.
However, I was still depressed. I met a friend who later became my best friend. He was a straight friend. He comforted me as if he were my little brother. Well, indeed he was actually 8 years younger than I was. He cheered me like how usual straight friends were. I was getting better.
I still remember my promise that I would not be in a relationship anymore with any guys. I just fulfilled that. I never met any guys after that point. I didn't want to get hurt for another time. I thought my heart was already small enough. There was no more room for another hurt.
Girls were after me. All the gossips. All the recommendations. What the heck with all of those. I was enjoying my single fighter. I made them all envy. I kept close relationships with them, however, distant enough for them to feel that they could not have me. It drove them nuts. They were all confused. I was so close yet so far. I was so friendly yet untouchable. I was so likeable yet so distant. At the end, they were all so frustrated that they could not have me. All I could do was just smile. I had no any intention to revenge on them based on what had happened to me. Not at all. Besides I was just not such a person. The point was that I had no intention to have any relationship with anyone period.
Then I moved to California in October 1999. Wow, such a drive. I drove straight 23 hours from houston to LA without sleeping or taking a nap. That was the longest, most boring drive I had ever had. Never would I ever want to do it again. I took my car, Acura Legend, Red 4 door.
Suddenly, one night when I got online, I saw this nick, titanboy. My goodness, my heart just leaped right there. After 2 1/2 years gone by, I finally was able to meet him online like the first time we met back in 1997. That was just a total impossibility.
I screamed, "that cannot be him. Oh boy, It's him..... IT"S TOTALLY HIM."
My mind started to find a way to get in touch with him. Then I just pvt him introducing him as if I were a new person. Oh my gosh, I could finally talk to him. Though not in person, I didn't mind at all. I didn't even think I could handle myself if I met him in person anyway.
I made him puzzled about my being. I told him that I knew him, and he knew me too. He guessed of me, but he was not sure either. Finally, I told him that it was me. I offered my phone number so that we could talk on the phone. I disconnected my modem right then, coz I wanted to hear his long-awaited voice.
The phone never rang. I waited and waited. The more I waited the more my body trembled. I told myself to be sober. I told myself to relax, take a deep breath. I could not. My body was literally shaking. I could not stand it anymore. I took a sleeping pill to help me go through the night. It didn't help. I kept dozing off and waking up every 15-30 mins. Every time I dozed off, I would dream of his presence in front of me, besides me, hugging me, kissing me. Every time I woke up, I would fade away the dream, telling myself it was just a fantasy. I looked at the clock, it has been 2 hrs. now it was 1:45 a.m. where could he be? My mind started playing games. Maybe he searched down my phone number to get my home address, and he would drive to my home. Would he do that? I didn't think so. He had a boyfriend now. I was no body. Anyway, finally I could not stand this any longer, it's been almost 4 hours waiting, and it's already 3:45 a.m. I woke up, and turned my monitor back on. I still saw his homepage. I emailed him my phone number and office and sent him my latest picture taken back in March.
He called me in the office in the middle of meeting. When I got that message, I was very surprised. He did check his email. He did want to talk to me. I called him back, but no avail. I got the voicemail. I left a message. He did call back after several hours. I picked up the phone accidentally, there he was. Oh my gawd. I was so happy to hear his voice again. That same voice. That same softness. The soothing voice. This time, it was real. Totally real ......
How do u like the story so far? Email me with comments. Kenny7299@yahoo.com Thank you