Ok, if you guys haven't read the disclaimer from the first story i suggest you do so. Yeah, well anyway, i gotta say it. This story is false and stuff. So don't believe everything you read. um.. what else, oh yeah minors, this story is not meant for you, but i can't write sex scenes so this is probably like pg-13, but still you have to have mommy and daddy's permission, good luck. And please send me some more emails, the first one was a real shock and i like being shocked. So please shock the hell out of me. Thanks!!
Chapter 2
What the hell was I thinking coming all this way and forgetting my pills? I won't go to sleep without them!! Damn. I guess it's back to insomnia. But I am used to getting a good two hours of sleep. Joey waltzes right into his guest room that he set up for me. Man, it's been a long time since I had seen him personally. The thought of what JC asked earlier about wondering how Joey and I became friends played into my mind.
"Hey, what did you tell them about me?" I asked.
"Um... not much, just about some of our funnier moments, nothing really personal," he said, "I told you I wouldn't."
"I know, I trust you. It's just that I need a little break from the past," I stated.
"I understand. Whenever you need to talk about it..." he asked.
"Thanks. I know it's been about two years since the funeral, and about six months now since my breakdown, I still need a little bit more time," I replied.
"It's OK, I'm always here for you when you need me," he replied, "Alright, so tell me exactly when did you lose all that weight?"
"Actually, I started before you left, but you couldn't really tell at that time," I answered.
"How long did it take you to look how you do now?" he asked.
"About a year, which is actually quick for not using drugs or lipo," I told.
"Yeah for real," he said, "why did you decide to go thin then?"
"Well, you were going to be busy and far away, and I needed something to do, and I was tired of being picked on, so I exercised like crazy and lifted a little weights and dieted and the rest is history," I said.
"Well, you look great," he said.
"Thanks," I responded, "I missed you so much, guy. Even though we spoke on the phone almost every week for the past two years, it's so much better to be with you in person."
"Yeah I know what you mean," he sighed, "Do you remember when you went to Camp Wawitan? That was probably the only other time in close to 13 years we have been apart for a while."
"Yeah, but I'm glad we're together again," I said.
"Have you given anymore thought to transferring down here?" he asked.
"Yeah, and I still am thinking about it. It probably would do me some good to move, but I'm not sure I'm ready," I answered.
"No pressure. Come one, let's go watch this movie of yours. I tell ya, your taste in movies is foreign to me, but since it's your first night here, I thought it would be good to humor you," he said.
"Alrighty then," I answered.
We made our way through his home from the guest room to the den. The place overlooked a small lake type area. The set up was mainly white. White walls, white ceiling, white carpet, but it didn't look like a hospital. It looked warm and inviting. The den was centered under a spiral staircase, which we walked down. Leading into the most awe-inspiring living room, I had ever seen in person. The den was a room much like the rest of the house. White and wow. There was a picture window that overlooked a small lake which, lights underneath lit up; it made the whole scene more impressive.
"God, I had never seen such a beautiful home before. Who's your decorator, so I could give him or her a call," I asked.
"It was one of these girls I know. She was nice enough to volunteer and I let her," he responded.
"Ahhh, a girl huh? Playa playa, aren't you, now that you're big and famous," I chided.
"Yeah, a huh. I am just sooo rich and famous and beautiful. Compared to you I'm a sexy bitch. Kidding, kidding," he smiled.
"Yeah you better be, dickhead," I retorted.
"Oh, so that's why you like me? Because my head reminds you of a dick?" he chided.
"And don't you forget it," I smiled.
It's been so long since I was able to have fun with him. I missed it so much. I wish that we lived closer together. I let a sigh of nostalgia escape my lips.
"I know how you feel," he said understanding my sigh.
He popped in the movie and we sat and watched for about an hour and a half, 'til I fell asleep. We watched Romy and Michelle's High School Reunion; it was stupid humor, which is always fun. I began to doze off...
(Please God, please. Don't let him die. Please don't. I love him so much. If I were to lose him, I would lose my heart. As I run down the corridor of the all too familiar cancer ward at the hospital, I hear the commotion up ahead that sparked my pang of hysteria.
"What's going on here? I asked.
"He's gone into shock. It's the drugs. He is allergic to the drugs we gave him," said my new friend Dr. Sparks.
"Oh, no. We need to get the pump in here, five minutes ago. (On it sir. Said one of the nurses) James, stay with me boy. Don't leave me," I pleaded.
"John... I...I...just, I just want you to know... I love you," James stammered.
"NO, NO you don't. You are not going to leave me," I yelled.
"I'm sorry John," said Dr. Sparks. The life left James' eyes. There was nothing in his once twinkling ocean blue orbs. There was only a blank stare directed towards me.
"No, no come back!!!!!" I demanded, "Come back." I shook his now lifeless body and begged him to return.
Dr. Sparks walked up to me and put his arms around my shoulder and told me to cry it out. I began to unload the near empty tear ducts into his shoulder. Just then, however, he was gone. The room turned an eerie shade of dark blue. Everyone in the room disappeared. Everyone was gone but me and a very live James.
"James. Jamie, you... you're Alive!" I exclaimed.
"Yeah, Why do you look so surprised? I thought you were supposed to help me. You promised!!" he yelled.
"I know, I'm sorry," I apologized.
He began to take steps toward me. With every step, however, he began to rot. As I witnessed the only other person in the world I told everything too, turn into a corpse in front of my very eyes, I began to back up involuntarily until my head hit the wall behind me.
"You lied to me!!" he roared. His voice was becoming raspy and harsh.
"I'm sorry, I tried everything...."
"Shut-up. I am here because you FUCKING BLEW IT!!!"
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. Please forgive me," I pleaded. I began to cry hard. His skinless hand was just inches from my face when he yelled his reply.
"Never!!" he screeched.)
"John!!! Wake up!" Joey said.
"I'm sorry, I'm so very sorry. Please forgive me," I begged.
"It's OK, Jay, you're safe here with me," he soothed.
"I'm sorry Joey."
"It's OK Jay, I'm here. I will always be here for you," he reminded me.
After Joey woke me up from my nightmare, he took me to the kitchen to make me some warm milk to soothe my nerves. When I used to spend nights over his house when we were little I would be on edge before bed time and his mom used to make me warm milk to help me sleep. It had been a little over three months since I had had one of those dreams. I wish that I could just forget. I wish that I could just be normal, and not be so sensitive. God, I need my pills. My pills allowed me to go to sleep without dreams. They slowed down the brain activity enough so that I didn't dream at night, or something like that I wasn't paying attention in the doctor's office. I need to just let it go, I couldn't have predicted what the drugs would have done. I tried everything, he would have died sooner if not for the surgery.
I spent months in the shrink's chair to learn that? God, I am a loser. It doesn't help me though, even though I know that. I guess it's time to get this into the open.
"Joey, I'm ready to talk, if you're ready to listen," I stated.
"I am always ready to listen to you," he replied, "tell me more about James."
"Well... we met in the hospital cafeteria. I told you about how he slammed into me when I was walking to sit down. He made me drop my bag lunch and he helped me pick it up. He asked about my eye. It got bruised you know how..." I began.
"Yeah, I am still going to kick that guy's ass if I ever meet him," Joey sternly added.
"It's OK, I am done with him and I've kinda put it behind me. But anyway, we started talking and it turned out we had a lot of things in common. We began to meet in the hospital cafeteria about once a week, then twice. Later, we began to meet outside of the hospital, just hanging out. He was funny, and crazy and he made me feel my age, and he made me feel something else. He was there with me helping me through Terrence. When I finally escaped, that's when he asked me out. I loved to spend time with him, but I had just gotten out of a really bad relationship and needed some time off. That's when you and I started talking a lot again. So, anyway, after about two months I finally accepted his advances and it was like whoa. It was so intense that every minute with him made my heart race. It felt like I was on a roller coaster riding 24/7. Then his cancer that was supposed to have gone into remission flared back. The brain tumor made him tired all the time. I would just lay with him for hours, either talking or just enjoying the closeness of each other..." I told.
The telephone rang. And Joey went to answer it; I waited for him to get back.
"That was Justin. They want us to come in early for the concert so I gotta leave in a couple hours, so maybe we should continue this a little later?" he asked.
"Yeah, sure," I said sort of disappointedly.
Joey, sensing my displeasure, quickly added, "Why don't you come with me and you don't have to wait so long to come to the concert."
"You mean, I was invited to the concert?" I sarcastically asked.
"Not really, I just said it to get your hopes up, before I told you, you'd have to leave," he said.
"What??" I looked at him funny.
"I'm sorry, I'm foul for some reason today, that was supposed to be funny," he apologized.
"I guess in your old age your wit is disappearing," I gave.
"I guess, but hurry up and get dressed so we can go, oh, and wear something sexy," he smiled.
"Why," I asked, "I'm done with that altogether," I stated seriously. Joey just looked at me in disbelief.
"Why are you giving up?" he asked.
"I'm not. I believe that there is exactly one person out there for us, and I believe I found him and lost him in Jamie," I responded. Joey just gave me a sigh of disapproval.
"We will definitely continue this conversation a little later," he put his foot down, "but for now get dress we have to be at Justin's house in about an hour."
"Whatever you say Jo-Jo," I called after him.
Justin's house was also a very impressive home. The overall theme of his house was beige and tope. These colors ordinarily would make a home drab and dull, but with the lighting in the house, the colors worked well. The ride to Justin's house was filled with the deafening sounds of DMX and DMB, which was cool, I like their lyrics, but not when you can feel the bass in my chest. During the ride I had a lot of time to think about our conversation. I feel much better to be able to talk about James with the only other person I've ever loved. I definitely think that coming here was a good idea. I wish Joey would have demanded it earlier, maybe I wouldn't have had that pesky little nervous breakdown. We pulled into the oversized driveway of a huge house. We got out and walked to the door, but before we could ring the doorbell the door burst open in a huge gust of wind.
"You're early?" asked a bewildered Justin.
"Yeah," Joey said in irritation.
"Only 'cause I made him be," I added, giving a look towards Joey.
There was a slight semi uncomfortable pause between the three of us before I realized that someone was going to have to take charge. Straight boys are usually indecisive when it comes to being around new people.
"So, you going to invite us in or are we just going to have to have our own little party right here on your doorstep?" I asked.
"Oh, I'm sorry, bring your asses in," Justin laughed.
"Well that's fine for our asses, but what about the rest of us," I immediately dreaded saying it as soon as I said it. It was my once a day habit, bad jokes. But Justin gave a laugh anyway and Joey was going to say something but I cut him off.
"After you Jo-Jo. Ladies first," I laughed.
"Oh, no. I bow before royalty. Queens definitely go first," he zinged with a laugh.
I immediately looked at Justin who just looked back at me for a second.
He looked as if he were in deep thought, then he nodded his head to no one in particular and turned around to walk into his house. I turned around and looked at Joey, nostrils flaring, I gave him one of my I know where you live looks.
"What??" he asked.
"You know what. Don't play that shit with me, I know you well, remember?" I scolded.
"Look, I'm sorry alright? Jeez, it was just a harmless joke," he stuttered.
I looked at him in the face for about 10 seconds before I saw exactly what I was looking for.
"You told!!" I said simply.
"Look, I'm sorry Jay. I only told Justin and JC because they're my friends and you can trust them," he said.
"It must be nice. Having friends you can trust with not telling your secrets I mean," I stated simply and walked into the house before Joey could say anything else. I walked to the den where the rest of the guys were lounging around, I assumed mentally preparing for the concert, but then again... I decided to walk over to Lance and sit down. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Joey walking towards me, but I gave him one of my "come near me and I'll eat you alive" looks. He knew better than to attempt to talk to me. The funny thing about me is that it takes a lot to upset me, but when I do get upset, the best thing is to avoid me at all costs. I then turned to Lance and began talking to him.
"So, Lance, what is this concert for, anyway? I thought you guys were off for three months," I asked.
"Well, it's not really a concert. It's more like an appearance on Nickelodeon, for the kids, you know?" he responded.
"Wow, that's cool. It must be fun to make your young fans happy," I said, while stealing a glance at Joey. He was over in the corner talking to both JC and Justin. "So where's Chris?" I asked.
"He's not here yet. He called though and said there was an accident on the freeway and it was moving slowly," he said.
"Oh," I replied. After a brief lull in conversation and another look over at Joey who was looking at me now, Lance began our conversation that would last for an hour.
"So, where are you from? You have a slight accent," he began.
"I am actually from Indonesia," I replied.
"Really?" he asked.
"No, no, not really. But it sounded cool though. I am originally from Boston. But I moved down to where Joey lived when I was six. My father got a better job in construction," I told. From then on Lance and I talked about a lot of things from me to him to Joey to their success. He's pretty cool. We are starting off on a good foot. I wonder if all these guys are as fun to talk to as this cat Lance. Lance, I heard that wasn't his real name, I wonder what is.
"Hey, Lance. Is that your real name?" I asked.
"No, actually my first name is James," he said.
"Oh, really," I began, "um... where's the bathroom, I'm suddenly feeling sick."
"It's down that way. Are you alright?" he asked
"Yeah I'll be fine," I hurriedly replied.
As soon as I reached the bathroom, I turned on the light and went to the sink to splash water on my face. I looked at myself in the mirror. I never liked looking at myself in the mirror. I always thought I was ugly. My nose is way too big. It's just a name. James is a very popular name. I am completely overreacting. I need to just chill out for a minute. Just then, there was a knock on the door.
"JP, are you alright?" It was Joey. I quickly opened the door and walked out of the bathroom and started heading down the hall as fast as I could. "Look John, I need to talk to you," he said and grabbed for my arm.
"It seems to me talking is your problem," I said.
"Look, I'm sorry," he apologized.
"It's not going to be that easy, this time!" I said. I walked off. I went past the den out the front door past Chris who was just arriving.
"Hey, John, isn't it?" he innocently asked.
"Yeah!" I replied somewhat coldly as I walked past him. I walked to the end of the driveway until I realized, I didn't where the hell I was. So I walked to the front door and sat down on the lower step. God, I wish I smoked. Then I'd have an excuse to be out here without seeming dumb. But the real problem though, is that Joey "betrayed" me. He promised not to tell ANYONE, but he goes and tells not one but two people. I can't believe he did it, though. Well, there was that time when I broke the window in the gym. But I understand why he told then, he would have been in deep shit if he didn't. But this...
"(Ahem), do you need some company?" asked a voice behind me that startled the hell out of me. I whirled around a bit too fast and fell off the step. I just laid there for a second and just thought how funny I looked laying face up on the pavement.