I want to write about a guy I met up with once, a while ago.
I used to spend time on a website called 'cottaging.co.uk' which was for, like, hooking up with guys. I met quite a lot of men through it and a lot of them were quite rough? (I'm young, my profile said submissive, and I was willing to give them plenty of pics while getting nothing in return before meeting)
There was one guy who was.... particularly cruel. Like, he still sticks in my mind as one of the roughest hook-ups I've ever had.
We swapped a few messages back and forth - I was 19 at the time, he was 48/49 sort of age? Maybe early 50s. My profile mentioned that I was submissive and he said he'd love to spend an evening having some fun with me.
I was up for it so we arranged a time for me to go over to his place. The plan was that I'd get the train to fairly nearby, he'd meet me and walk me back to his house. I'll be honest, this was an area of the city I'd never been to. Like, at all. It was a little way out and I knew nothing about it.
We also swapped a few messages about what we wanted to do. He said he had a few ideas and surprises for me and asked me if there was anything I didn't want to do. I told him that I didn't really want to get fucked - I was a bit nervous and maybe next time? He said he was fine with that and that he had other plans anyway as a surprise. I asked him what the suprise was but he simply responded that telling would ruin the surprise.
I'd sent him a few pics of me, told him what I'd be wearing. He told me where to wait when I got off the train and thats all - no pics, no description. I was going to an unfamiliar place, meeting up with a total stranger and then following him back to his house. I'm not gonna lie, it was scary but... I was excited.
When the train did get there, all I knew to do was get off it and then wait just off the platform, next to the sign with the map. It was a typical tiny city-station. Two platforms, one bench each, hardly any lights and absolutely no people.
He had those pics and knew what I'd be wearing - vivid, barbie-pink belt, tight jeans and a Hello Kitty! t-shirt. I looked like a total gayboi and all I could do was wait.
Eventually I saw a guy looking at me. He smiled and walked up to me, saying `hi'. He had short-shaved hair, was a bit taller than me and noticeably stronger. Like, he wasn't a huge guy? And he wasn't fat, exactly... But you know when a guy just seems to be built broader and wider than you'd expect for his height? He looked like that.
I nodded and said 'hi', asked if he was from 'the website' and he smirked a little? But nodded. (I guess because I was trying to be subtle but 'are you from the website would have been such an obvious giveaway if he was just some random other dude)
He told me he lived a few streets away, so we started walking. When we were walking back to his, he wrapped an arm around my shoulders and pulled me a little closer. I think he could tell I felt a little uncertain. He asked if I was feeling nervous while laughing a little. When I said a little a bit but its fine, his hand moved down to begin grabbing at my ass. "And now? Even more nervous?"
I nodded and he said "good" and kept doing it basically all the way to his house. Like, just holding me close, his arm wrapped around my back, his hand resting on my ass.
I dunno how to describe how exposed I felt? But the entire walk I was just wondering what people would think seeing me with this older guy.
The moment we got inside his house, he pushed me to my knees and began stripping himself down to completely naked, while I knelt there fully dressed. I don't know why but.... there was something about kneeling there fully-clothed while he stood over me completely naked, cock at my lips that felt weirdly more exposed, more dominated than if I was naked as well.
I just looked up at him and began licking at his cock, licking and kissing and sucking at the head and shaft until he was fully hard, at which point he began pushing me onto it, deeper and deeper until he began choking me a little. Like, I was just there, kneeling on the cold floorboards just inside his front door, still fully dressed, feeling him press his cock deeper into my throat, almost testing if I could take it.
And I could? but it was difficult. I still wasn't very good at stopping myself from gagging and he wasn't massively long? But still long enough to feel uncomfortable and so incredibly thick. Like, it's the thickness I remember. It just felt so big on my tongue and in my mouth... And when I struggled or pressed at his thighs to stop or even just slow down...? He pushed deeper still, calling me his little bitch as I struggled my best to breath while he made me gag on his dick.
He'd push me down far on his cock - almost two thirds down and then hold me at that depth and start fucking my throat, pushing even deeper. just fucking the bottom inches in and out...
This kept going for quite a long time. I was stripped naked eventually and we moved around a little, with him holding me leaning back over the front of the sofa or him sitting down and just pushing my head down on him. And the entire time he was fucking my throat really rough - it hurt soooo much but I never once tried to stop him.
I mean, I felt scared and completely out-of-control and like there was literally nothing I could do but just keep sucking him... And the more it went on, the more it hurt and the messier and more broken I felt. My throat was in agony and spit was over my face and some in my hair and all I could do was let this man do whatever he wanted with me.
He also pushed me down really firmly and made me rim him - telling me to be a good little slut and lick him out, while he stroked his cock. He loved calling me his `dirty little boy' and telling me how slutty I was, especially for rimming a guy more than twice my age.
(He actually mentioned my age a few times - saying Im so young and pretty and things like that, but the tone he said it in was almost....like he was saying it as an insult? Like... basically like me being young and sexy was something he could mock me over...?)
I think he kept this up for, like, at least 2 hours? It's hard to know exactly but... comparing the time i got off the train and the time when I left his house... I think easily 2 hours of this. Just swapping between letting me lick his cock, or throatfucking me, or making me rim him. Sometimes I was struggling and sometimes I just felt too weak to push back and sometimes I just let it happen cos I had no choice and...
He just kept going. Hurting me and fucking me and telling me what a filthy, slutty wreck I was.
Eventually, I felt his cock pulsing a little deep in my throat. I didn't even taste his cum until I gagged so hard I coughed it up around his cock. It bubbled from my lips, ran down my chin and onto my chest, clinging to his pubes and then getting smeared back over my cheeks as he held himself deep and choked me on it.
And that's when his 'surprise' happened. He grabbed my hair and pulled me up to my feet. I felt so humiliated, stood in front of him. I was so weak from the long throatfucking, almost feeling dizzy just standing there. When he grabbed my arm and started pulling me into the hallway, I was so scared and uncertain and dazed that I just didn't know how to resist him at all. He could have done anything with me right then and I would've let him.
He dragged me through into the bathroom and shoved me into his shower. I thought maybe he wanted to shower with me, because I've been with a few guys who wanted to end it with a shower and get one last blowjob while they clean themselves up...
But instead he pushed me down to kneel on the floor, shivering a little from the chill in the room and the tiles touching me....
And I dunno how to say it. Cos it just felt so sudden and unexpected and it just... happened?
He pressed the tip of his cock just between my lips, said "swallow" and started pissing.
I couldn't even think properly. I really didn't want to do this - it really isn't really my thing. I not sure how much I can make it clear that this isn't something that I wanted but he just started and when he told me to swallow, I did.
Or that is, I tried. There was just so much, and it just didn't seem to stop. I was swallowing these painfully huge gulps, almost gagging with each one. My throat was sore enough that I could hardly speak from the long throatfucking, and each gulp was just too big for me to manage, it almost seemed to burn all the way down.
I'd try to keep it under control, swallow 3, maybe 4 gulps... and then I'd lose control and start gagging, or fall behind and my mouth would fill up and it'd overflow down my chin over me.
When this happened? He just stopped and told me to swallow it all. He'd give me the tiniest moment to rest but them, the moment I was breathing a little better? Or I'd finished swallowing it? He'd just start again and.... it seemed to go on for sooo fucking long and I didn't want any of it but I dunno. I just couldn't even think of not doing it for him.
Eventually, after what seemed like forever, it seemed to slow and stop. Like, I know it could only be a few minutes but... it felt like hours.
When he was finished, he looked down at me and told me that he'd actually wanted me to swallow every drop, but that I was still one of the filthiest little sluts he's had for going all the way through with it. Like, he was sorta... smirking while saying about how he'd never expected me to do it and how filthy I must be for letting it happen...
I felt so utterly ashamed and humiliated. I'd gone through it because I felt I had no choice, because it didn't even occur to me that I could ever make it stop.... and now he was laughing at how dirty and slutty I was for not stopping him...
And yet even then, when he'd said that to me, he pressed the tip of his cock to my mouth and told me to show him how much of a filthy whore I am, and lick off the last few drops.... and I did it. I was still so shocked and weak and dazed.... I couldn't even think about the possibility of saying 'no' until it was too late.
After that he just told me to get myself cleaned up, he'd walk me back to the station. Shutting the bathroom door behind him and leaving me to tidy myself up.
On the walk he spent the entire time grabbing my ass again, I think enjoying how shy and nervous it made me, and he told me that he'd back back in town in a few weeks. Saying that he'd love to see what else I'll do.
I want to say I never went back. I want to say I blocked him and refused to ever see a man who'd treat me that badly.
It was only the next morning when I was sending him a message, saying I can't wait to be his slut again.