All right lets start from the start shall we. First of all to clear up all confusion no Dwayne has not come back from the grave. I am his younger brother Nick. This is not my story hence why I am not putting it under my own email address. If I am ever able to write anything even half as good as this at any time in my life then i will be shocked. No this is not my story. But it is completely true that has been confirmed by the other parties involved in this story.
This story was written by Dwayne shortly before he passed away. I found it a few months back and had been debating what to do with it. I decided to post it on Nifty as a tribute to my brother and best friend. I loved him so much and I know this is what he would have wanted. This is the story of Dwayne and his best friend. And how he discovered that sometimes for love you have to fight. And fight he did.
Oh well you all know all of the discl;aimers so I wont bother with them. Just please be careful. And send any comments to me at half_desent_guy@yahoo.com.au. Please enjoy the story. Oh yeah sorry just so there is no confusion. This story is written from my brothers point of view.
Fight For Freedom
Chapter One
I couldnt believe it. This was too fucking much. Why did this stuff always have to happen to me. Here I am standing in front of my best friends place readying to tell him the words I dreaded the most in my whole entire world. I didnt know why I was going to do it. I could quite easily go up to the do act as though nothing strange was going on. I knew Ben probably wouldnt even know the difference. And all of this would be forgotten about. I could have easily have dont that. But deep down I knew that that was never going to happen. I had talked myself into it and now I couldnt back out.
My name is Dwayne Cross. Some people called me DC, some called me Crossy. Hardly anyone called me by my real name. Unless of course they were trying to piss me off. And of course my parents called me Dwayne. I am in year eleven and am sixteen turning seventeen in a month and a half. My best friends name was Ben Jackson. He was in the year below me. We had known each other in primary school but had never really asociated with each other. It wasnt until two years ago when I found out that my ex-girllfriend was good friends with him.
From there we got really close. And now we considered ourselves to be best friends. He was actually now going out with my ex. They have been going out for three months now. But why I was here had nothing to do with her. It was about me and him. See the fact of the matter is. I had always known I was gay. But I had spent most of my life trying to deny it. But six months ago I had given up and decided that if this was what I was I was going to have to deal with it. It wasnt easy but I got throug it. But if I thougt that was hard to deal with the realisation that I was in ,love with my best friend was even harder. Now as I aproached his front door I became terrified because I knew in moments I would discover just how much our friendship meant to Ben.
I knocked on the front door. It was mid afternoon and the shadows were beginning to form, as I waired for an answer I looked out accross the lawn and saw the cemetery. Ben lived across the road from our towns crematorium. We had quite often gone up the hill and sat or stood at the concrete building and talked about what ever was going on at the time. It was our private place. While obviously it was very public whenever we had gone there no one seemed to bether us. He and I were the only ones that we knew that went there.
I was about to knock a second time on the door when suddenly it opened. I was staring into the almost angry face of Ben. But then as soon as he saw it was me his face lit up. "Hey dude how are you." We bumped fists in what had become our customary greeting and half hugged. I swallowed my nerves and smiled at him as I said. "Ben look i need to talk to you about something. Can we go for a walk." He looked at me a bit stunned. It wasnt that I didnt normally come to him if I had a problem. I think he sensed something in my voice that told him this was major. "Yeah sure Ill just tell mum." He went and told his parents that he was going out and would be back soon. Then he joined me again at the front door and we headed off of the porch.
It was quite amazing in the two years that i had been friends with him I had only ever been inside his house once. That was one Saturday morning when I rocked up and he was still asleep. I scared the living shit out of him when I woke him up. He has been inside my house several times but i had ony been in his just that once. I didnt know why it didnt really bother me. I just found it a bit strange now that I thought about it. But I had muchj more important things on my mind at the moment then silly things like that.
As we headed towards the cemetery he said. "Thank god you came dude Daniel was driving me insane. I was nearly ready to kill him." I had to laugh. Daniel was Bens younger brother. Daniel was handicapped but I didnt think he was that bad a kid. Ben loved Daniel but I knew that sometimes it became too much for him. Daniel idolised his brother and worshipped the ground he stood on. Ben knew this and tried to be the best big brother he could. I justy smiled at him as we aproached our spot. he saw the look and gave me a peculiar one back. But he didnt say anything.
When we finaaly reached our spot we stopped and sat down on a bench. Ben turned to me expectantly. But now that we were here I was once again uncertain whether this was a good idea. "All right dude. Tell me what it is thats got you so down lately." He shocked me I didnt realise he had noticed my mood change over the last week or so. He saw my look and smiled. "Come on dude I know you. I can tell straight away smething was wrong. But I decided to wait until you brought it up. I knew you would eventually. Now tell me." I still hesitated but gave in when he said. "Look dude no matter what it is it cant be that bad."
I looked at him and finally decided to just tell him. And take what ever happend when it happend. I took deep breath. "Dude, ummm........ look i think I might be gay." To say he was shocked is easily the biggest understatement of my life. He didnt say anything for a few minutes. the suspense was killing me so I got up off of the seat and started to walk. I didnt know where I was going I was just walking. Ben seemed to not move for a moment and then he slowly followed me. Finally he turned to face me and raised an eyebrow questioningly and smiled slightly as he asked. "You THINK you might be gay." At first I didnt understand what he wason about then I caught on.
I nodded my head the grin appearing on my face. With his next comment I knew that everything would work out okay. He got a devilish grin on his face as only he could and said in a quietened voice. "Well puill youre pants down and bend over and well find out for sure." I laughed that was just like Ben to turn this around into a bit of a joke. I mock looked as though I was shocked and I looked around and I said. "WHAT we cant do it here now." He grinned. "If not here and now then when and where." I was sure we were still joking so I said in my sweetest voice. "Well I got the house to myself tonight for a few hours and you could come over then and we could find out for sure." He raised his eyebrows at me. I dont think either of us was certain whether we were still kidding or not.
Ben looked at me a bit suprised and said "Okay then its a date." I stopped dead in my tracks. This was sounding less and less like a game by the moment. Ben stopped looked back at me and said in a quiet voice. "Look its youre call. Im not gay, but hey youre my best mate and if it will help you out I will do it." I was stunned beyond words. Was my best friend seriously offering to fuck me. He saw my look and became hesitant. "Ah forget it dude. I was only fucking with you. Look Im really glad you told me. And dont worry I wont tell anyone." We were back at his place As we were preparing to seperate I decided to take a final chance. "Look I know we were only joking. But if you wanted to I would be more then willing. Ive got the house from seven." He didnt say anything and I started to walk away only looking back to see his reaction. He was staring after me deciding whether I was serious or not.
It was now a few minutes befor seven. I glanced at the clock nervously. I didnt seriously think that Ben would show up. But just in case I was mentally preparing myself. I mean if he did yurn up it would mean that tonight I would lose my virginity. I didnt know what to think. i knew he probably wouldnt turn up but something deep inside me kept my hope alive. I knew in the back of my head that I knew friends sleeping together had a tendency to ruin friendships. But I had decided that I was willing to take that risk for the chance to have sex with Ben. I looked at the clock again it was now just after seven. I sighed as I realised he wasnt coming. I returned to watching tv when there was suddenly a light knock at the door.
I nearly shat myself as I took a final big breath and made my way to the door. When I opened the door I saw Ben standing there sheepishly. I invited him in. As he stepped past me and into the house he looked at me and I saw that he was a s nervous as me. I got us a couple of drinks. We sat on the couch and I turned off the tv. he was the first one to speak. "Look dude like I told you Im not gay." I was a bit upset I didnt understand why he was here if he didnt want to have sex./ He saw my look and said. "Look i dont know really why im here. You just seemed so...... I dont know...... you looked so cute when you made that offer to me this afternoon. Look as I said Im not gay. But you are my best mate. And if you want to do this because it will help you realise the true you then i am willing."
I was speechless what had he just said. I just stared at him in disbelief. Was he really saying what i thought he was. "What?" I asked. I couldnt let myself believe it. Surely this was to good to be true. But he looked at me with the sweetest look and I knew he wasnt joking. "Are you seriously offering to sleep with me." He grinned a bit then he looked scared as he said. "But you cant tell anyone okay." I looked at him as though he was crazy as I said. "Oh yeah Ill just blurt it all over school that you fucked me." I smiled and so did he. Then we both were nervous unsure of what to do next. "So what do we do." Ben asked it as though he had never evon considered sex before.
I looked at him and i brought my head close to his at first he seemed a bit shocked but as my lips met his in a tender kiss. I slowly opened my mouth and immediately his tongue was rubbing against mine as he invaded my mouth. It was absolutly electric. And when we finally broke the kiss he looked at me almost as though he was going to cry. "God damn that was awesome. Youre one hell of a kisser." I smiled shyly as i looked at him lustingly. "Youre not to bloody bad yourself Ben trust me." Then we just sat there in silence for a few minutes staring at each other. Ben finally broke the silence by placing a hand on the inside of my left leg. For someone who only a moment ago had asked what we do he seemed to now know what he was doing.
I had my hands at the bottom of his shirt and I slowly pulled it up and over his head. When he was shirtless I soaked in the awesomeness of his body. He was the hottest guy I knew by far. I licked my lips slightly as he tugged at my own shirt. Soon both of us were shirtless and staring at each other. I leaned in for yet another kiss this time our eyes closed and his mouth opened. We kissed like that for a few minutes before we broke apart and his hands slowly moved to the top oif my pants and then they reached around and had a quick grope of my arse. Thtas when it finally sunk in what we were about to do. And I suddenly became very scared.
I didnt understand it I had wanted this for over a year now and it was finally going to happen and I was terrified. Ben looked up at me and saw the look in my eyes and stopped his motions. He just sat staring up at me. A part of me didnt want thim to stop. "Whyd you stop." I asked but I already knew the answer but I wanted to hide my fear. "Because you look scared dude. Im not doing this unless youre one hundred percent certain that you want it." I smiled despite my fear and as I looked at him I realised that this wasnt just a fuck to him. Hwas truly trying to help me out. A tear rolled down my cheek. He immediately got back up and sat back next to me. He looked at me and wiped away my tear. "Oh god Dwayne what the hell is going on in that gead of yours." He hugged e tight.
Then he reached over and grabbed our shirts. He handed mine to me and put his on. I was so ashamed. i felt so stupid. I had wanted this and now I had backed out. "Im sorry Ben." He looked at me as though I was crazy. "What the hell are you apologising for. Its okay. As I said I was doing this to help you out. Maybe in the future you might be ready. or sometime in the future youll realise what you are. But until then just be you." He seemed so wise for his young age. He looked at the time and said. "Look Ive got to go home anyway otherwise my parents will kill me." He leaned in and we shared another spine tingling kiss. That left me wondering. What was going on with ben. straight guys dont kiss guys. "Ben...." He put a finger to my mouth and hushed me then he whispered. "Maybe youre not the only one who isnt sure. Ill see you in the morning." He planted a final quick kiss on my cheek then he headed for the door. I was to stunned to move and as I watched him leave. i wondered whether our friendship wuld truly ever be the same again.
Well thats chapter one. Ihope you enjoyed it. I think this is the best story Dwayne ever wrote personally. Hence why I am posting it. Please send any comments to me at half_desent_guy@yahoo.com.au. I will post the next chapter when I get a chance. Until then
Love Nick and Dwayne (in spirit)