I just stared.
I couldn't help it. All the witty comments I had thought about earlier when playing this scene in my head, could not help me prepare for this moment..
Across the table in the dim lit restaurant your eyes caught mine and looked a little fearful.
Who could blame you, you just told me you loved me. To my face, not just over the phone. And I just sit here, staring. Letting myself drown in your eyes, getting carried away by this feeling that started to over come me when I heard those words come out of your mouth and finally hit home.
I blink a few times, trying to gather my thoughts as I had drifted miles away. I clear my throat and finally smile at you. When you see this, you lower your eyes and stare at your fingers, suddenly becoming shy by your own words.
My smile grows bigger as I take one of your hands in mine, softly caressing your warm skin and ask you to look at me. You do so and I finally say those words you have been longing to hear since the moment you stepped off that plane.
I love you.
There it is, fresh out of my mouth. The words linger in the air until they finally reach your brain and you look away again, smiling. You take your hand away from mine and pick up your glass of water. Seductively look over at me over the rim of the glass as your tongue quickly comes out of your mouth to wet your lips.
Mesmerised by this sight, I fall into the habit of staring again. Something stirs deep within me and I take a deep breath when I realise just how badly I want you.
Images of you and I rise to surface, whispering sweet words of nothing. Arms, legs, skin on fire. Ragged breathing, eyes glowing in the dark, filled with lust.
Want.
Need.
I snap out of my dreaming when a waitress stands next to our table. She looks at me, then at you. She smiles an all knowing smile and asks if we have decided yet.
Yes, I have decided.
The rest of my life has just been decided. I look up into your eyes, smile as I take the menu and force myself to look at it.
I gasp when I feel your foot touch mine under the table. Quickly, my eyes shoot open and I look over at you to see a wicked grin on your face. You calmly answer the waitress and order for the both of us.
You then take the menu from my hands and hand it to the waitress who then walks away.
Not knowing what is happening to me, I lean back in my chair, trying to compose myself. I pull up the wall around me and grab a cigarette to keep my hands busy. You notice the difference in me right away and thankfully go along with it.
We talk about nothing important.
Avoiding what we both want to hear from another.
After dinner, we walk out into the cool evening. Our shoulders touch and I take your hand in mine, continuing to look ahead. I start telling you about silly things, like the history of the building surrounding us.
I interlace our fingers and softly squeeze your hand, now searching your eyes with mine. Our gaze locks on each other and without realising it, we stop walking and just look.
Standing under a lamp post, the soft light makes shadows on your face. I long to feel your skin under my fingertips. I need this beating of my heart to stop before it explodes.
I take your other hand in mine as well and take one step closer to you. Our bodies are almost touching and my face is close enough to yours to see my own reflection in your eyes. Your eyelids drop and before I know what I'm doing, I lean over and let my lips touch yours.
Electricity shoots through my body, I clench your hands in mine to let you know what this contact is finally doing to me. You let out a little noise and you cross that final distance between us. Our bodies now pressed against each other, I deepen the kiss.
My head swims, my hart races and I do my very best to keep breathing. I shout in my head that it is finally you who I feel.
This is my reality, this is my world. Your heart that keeps my own beating. Your breath that helps me to live. Your thoughts that grab me and never let go. Your heart, my home.
I break off the kiss and stare into your eyes, searching for approval. If you don't feel what I do now, I'm sure I won't last another day. But it is like looking into a mirror, all that I feel is exactly what I find in your eyes.
A big smiles appears on my face as I wrap my arms around you, pull you so close it almost feels as though we are one. You hold onto me, sigh and at last, the chains around my heart break.
I am finally free.