** This story is a true story, telling of people and events that have taken place in the last three to four years. I have the consent of the others who are involved to use them, but no last names will be used for privacy reasons. This story will focus around two people as they stumble upon each during high school and find themselves falling for one another. They are able to survive the trials, tribulations, and difficulties that are thrown at them and from each other until everything comes to an abrupt end...All rights to this story are mine (lol well it is based on MY experiences) so no copying or publishing without my consent!**
**** Before I even go on, I'd like to apologize for the content towards the end of the last chapter. Speaking from the experience, we both were not our usual self during the time around my birthday. It was just as confusing to some of you as it was to me at the time. Of course, I got the benefit of the whole explanation...which I don't think the full version needs to be said so I left out a few things in this chapter. Even I have a few things that I don't want others to know. It will still make sense though... Honestly though, I was going back and forth on if I should put it in and I decided that I should get everything out there since that's how I started it. It was offensive and vulgar to many people and I apologize those who I offended. From here on out I will put in a spoiler warning about anything else that can be taken in the same manner. I'll get to test it out in C8 and C9, but rest assured that those will be the final moments where anything so graphic will happen. Everything else goes back to normal pretty much after those two conversations. ****
Finding Andrew
Chapter 7: Mario Shows His True Colors
I ended up staying home from school the rest of the week. I told my friends I had the flu (totally believable in November) and wouldn't be back until next week. I also missed wrestling that week. I put my phone in my sister's room so I couldn't be bothered. The more I thought about what happened on Monday, the madder I got. At one point, I was ready to walk to school in the snow (about a 45-minute walk) to find Andrew and confront him, but the pain in my ribs and head told me otherwise. No matter how mad I got at someone, there were just some lines I couldn't ever cross...
I was surprised to hear that Andrew called all week. My sister knew I wasn't in a talking mood, so she didn't ever come downstairs to bring me the phone. She also told me that he was checking on me to see how I was doing and to say he was sorry for what happened (she obviously never knew what happened thankfully) . I'm not even going to rant on that, but rest assured that really didn't lighten my mood at the time. I could probably write a whole chapter on how upset I was when I heard that. But moving on...
Monday was my return to school. NO ONE said a word to me on the bus. I don't know if some knew what happened or if they saw the look on my face (fuming still), but no one said a word. When I got to my locker I found some notes stuffed inside. They were from last week, all from Andrew saying he was sorry and that he wanted to talk to me. I guess he left one everyday, but I didn't care at that point. My plan going into this was to erase him from memory and move on with life. Easy to say, yet very hard to do. I'm the kind of person that tends to let my emotions control my actions and decisions so I really would have my work cut out for me. I made it through the first two periods pretty good as I kept to myself. My friends saw I was still angry and backed off. Even Lizzy got the picture and said nothing to me. At lunch I sat by myself inside to avoid having one of my patented emotional outbursts. Hmm, I guess you probably are wondering what I mean by that. I tend to show very little negative emotion. If you were to look at being angry and mad as two being totally separate, in my mind being angry has always been worse. When I get mad, I usually just blow whatever it is off and don't worry about it. After I do that for awhile, the tension builds up in me. I usually can sense it, but I haven't found a way to ease it just yet. Once I get angry, it triggers all of the tension I have causing me to blow up. By blowing up, I mean doing stuff that just isn't in character for me. I'll leave that to your imagination, but know its nothing that gets or will get me in any serious trouble. I still have common sense at those points, but at times it I really do lose the sense of where I am or what I'm doing. It may sound complicated now, but I'm sure you'll understand after a few examples.
It had built up ever since the Friday before my birthday and it just collected steam as time went on. I was left alone until there were about ten minutes left. I ate my food in silence and had my back to the rest of the cafeteria when Andrew cautiously sat down across from me.
"Hey Sam." He mumbled. I sat there in silence doing my best to ignore him. He couldn't even keep eye contact with me as I burned a hole through his forehead with a look of hatred. "I'm happy to see that you're ok. I can explain..."
"Leave me the fuck alone. I don't ever want to see your face again." His face turned red as he again dropped his face to avoid eye contact. All of my bad feelings towards him began to surface, but for one of the few times in my life, I was able to control what happened. He again said something as I took my powerade and dumped it over his head leaving him soaking wet and onlookers laughing. I took my backpack and headed home not even bothering to go to 3rd period. I had to get away from him before I would do something that I might regret later. Looking back, I don't know how I was able to keep from letting my anger take control (I have a few thoughts and it should seem obvious), but I was relieved as I made it home. He again tried calling as I continually hit the ignore button. Why should I talk to him after what he did to me? If Mario said stuff about me he should have confronted me about it. I'm not a perfect little angel, but I had the impression that problems like that were brought up in a relationship (or when dating in general) and were supposed to be worked through. You don't just take an outsider's word right? Sure I didn't want to talk about it, but I would have if he would have wanted to. He deserves to know as much as he wants about my past. I'm not totally happy with a lot of things that I've did and that have happened to me, but I feel I owe that explanation to anyone who is going out with me. I just don't like to keep secrets about myself I guess. Besides, I knew that I wasn't just yet in the mindset to hear him explain himself. I never thought I would, but like the saying goes, "never say never".
Tuesday came quickly as snow continued to fall. PE first thing in the morning wasn't something I was looking forward to. I still had cuts on my face and a long gash down the left side of my rib cage. Andrew was terrified when he saw me in the locker room, as he waited for me to finish changing before making his way to the gym locker. I know he felt worse as I had to have someone else pull off my polo and slip on my t-shirt for me because it hurt too much for me to lift my arms that high. It was a free day due to the weather, and I kept to myself shooting basketball. A few people made comments about how Andrew punked me and how I walked out on my team, but no one said it to my face since I was still in a bad mood. Andrew again tried talking to me at the end of class, but I ignored him and for the most part put him out of mind. Basketball would be the third and final block of the semester and Andrew followed me in it. We were on the same team sighs, yet I still never said a word to him. I was getting back to normal as I got back to hanging out at lunch and after school with my friends. I still did wrestle, but I never spoke to Mario or his boyfriend. By the time Thanksgiving came, I was back to normal more or less. I still was a little on the cold side at times, but I was also acting extremely happy at times so it balanced out. I enjoyed the weekend and looked forward to getting back to school. A few more weeks and the big Christmas Break! Those two weeks off seem like forever at the time and I was sure going to put them to good use. December rolled around quickly and as soon as I was able to get through a lot of the stuff that happened, in the span of one phone call everything changed again.
It was late on a Friday night (or early Saturday morning depending on how you look at it) when I got an unexpected call. Not many people call at two in morning so I picked it up before it would wake up my sister too.
"...Hello?"
"Is this Sam?"
"Yea and who is this?" I asked groggily.
"This is Jason, Andrew's brother. How are you?"
"Well other than you waking me up, I guess pretty good." I said annoyed. What kind of question was that at two in the morning?
"Sorry to wake you, but...Andrew was in an accident." I shook my head as I got a mixed feeling. First thinking that he got what he deserved. I'm not a hateful person so my first thoughts went away rather quickly. My good side won out as I was concerned about what happened to him.
"What happened to him? Where is he?"
"He's at the hospital right now. I think he'll be fine, but he didn't look too good when they found him."
"When they found him?"
"I'm on my way to pick you up. He kept saying that you were his best friend and that he needed to see you. He won't say anything to anyone else." I was surprised that he considered me that after he told me that I was a horrible boyfriend, friend, and human being for that matter. I gave him directions to the Taco Bell not too far from my house and told him I'd be there after I got dressed. As I dressed, I was wondering if I really should go up there. I still was wondering why after all that happened between us why he wanted me up there. Even then, something deep down inside told me that I needed to go up there which was confusing at the time. I quickly decided that this wasn't the time for those thoughts and that he needed someone by his side. I was surprised that Mario wasn't there, but I shrugged it off as I snuck out my window and jogged down to Taco Bell. Even through the previous incident, I still felt that I had to go up there...and not just as a friend. Feelings are always a hard thing to suppress I've learned.
Jason was waiting for me and once I hopped in, we were on our way. We rode in silence as our thoughts were both elsewhere. Once we got there, I followed him into the waiting room. I saw his mom first and then his dad. She looked like a nervous wreck as her husband tried to comfort her. Jason showed me to the room Andrew would be at and followed me in.
"When you're done, we'll be waiting in the lobby. I'll take you back home when you're ready. Just take your time...no rush." He whispered as he walked out of the room.
"Thanks for the ride, Jason." He nodded as he pushed the door open and left me alone with Andrew. I turned around and was horrified at what I saw. Andrew's head was bandaged around the forehead as he must have been bleeding pretty badly (the bandages were still pretty red). His right arm was also heavily bandaged like his head and through the baby blue gown, you could see the bandages wrapped around his chest and ribs. I lost all composure as I rested my head on his ribs and began to cry. Even though I had viewed him as the enemy the last month, I couldn't stand seeing him in so much pain.
"...Sam. Don't...cry. I'll be fine." He struggled to get out as he rested his hand on my shoulder. You could tell that his body was very weak from whatever happened.
"Andrew? What happened?"
"First, I want to apologize again to what I did to you. I wouldn't blame you if you wanted to put me out of my misery right now..."
"Andrew, don't talk like that..."
"Why not? You didn't even have to come here and I wouldn't blame you if you didn't. After my actions, I figured you'd never want to talk to me ever again...I have something to admit to you so you might want to pull a chair over." I pulled the hard metal chair (hospitals aren't made to be comfortable ya know) over by his bed. "Don't say anything until I'm finished." I nodded as he rolled over to face me. I don't know where he found the strength to, but he flashed that patented smile before he started to get into his apology. It gave me a warming feeling since it had been quite awhile since I'd seen it.
"I'm really sorry about what I did to you. I was really upset about you not wanting me at your birthday party. As your significant other, I just thought that you would want to celebrate with me, but I was being selfish...more like jealous. Mario, caught on to my anger and just built on it. The only time you ever talked about Mario was the day after he beat me up. I still didn't think he was a bad guy...at the time at least, so I vented to him since he knew you so well. The more I thought about it, I realized that I didn't really know a whole lot about your past and I remember you telling me that he knew you pretty much since you moved here. I figured that he would be a good person to ask about your past." I shook my head wondering why he just had to be the person he happened to ask about that. He could have asked my friends at school, my sister, even my mom. I sat there and pieced together the rest of it in my head as he went on. Mario had basically turned Andrew against me which explained his sour attitude to me at school and at wrestling before and after we broke up. I cut him off before he went into detail about what things were said about me.
"Andrew, I don't really want to hear what he said about me. I'm sure my imagination can sum it up." I said with kind of a bitter tone.
"Oh, sorry. I didn't mean to make you mad." We sat there in silence for a few minutes as I ran my hand through his hair. My eyes began to water as I recalled a promise that I broke with him. Andrew broke the silence.
"Sam, I'll tell you what happened...you have to promise not to get upset...and not do anything to get yourself in trouble." I cringed on the last part because it really tipped me off to who did this. Even if he didn't do it directly, Mario was somehow involved.
"It was Mario wasn't it?" I asked coldly.
"You have to promise."
"Fine......I promise."
"Sam, I'm sorry. I should have believed you. I thought he was a good guy. I never realized that..."
"Stop! You don't have to apologize to me about him."
"Yes I do. I should have listened."
"Andrew, what did he do?"
"He tried to...to...I told him no and he...he got upset..." He started to cry as I got up and pulled him into my arms. I was fuming inside, but I'm a man of my word and decided to leave Mario alone about it...for now. I knew that the next time I saw him it would take everything in me to keep from ripping him apart. So I guess this was his master plan. All of this just to get back at me....a damn shame isn't it? Bad thing was I feared he could come up with even worse.
"I said that I wouldn't let him hurt you again...that I would protect you from things like this. You were right when you said I was weak."
"Sam..."
"You deserve so much better." I stood to walk away, but would be stopped as soon as he grabbed my arm forcefully. For his arm to be in so much pain, he held a pretty tight grip.
"You can't leave me again, Sam. I...I don't think I could take it again."
"Andrew, you can find better."
"Sam, don't you understand? I...love you." Those three words shocked me as I turned back to see him blushing.
"You what?"
"I love you. When we broke up that day I was so hurt. I had no one to turn to. I only went out with Mario to try and get you jealous so you would change your mind about us. I can't ever fully explain why I did the things I did at school and wrestling, but I was really hurt and confused...that still is no excuse for the hurt and pain I brought to you. I tried to talk to you at school and call, but you ignored me. I wanted to just corner you somewhere, but I was afraid of what you might do. You had every right to cut me out of your life and I was sad when I saw you trying to do that." I sat back down as we were again sitting face to face. "You are everything that I've always wanted in a guy. Someone to talk to about anything. Someone to go out to the mall or movies with and have a good time. Someone that I can depend on to always look out for me. You mean a lot to me, Sam. More than you ever realized. I just have a tough time expressing it to you." With that he grabbed my hand and we just sat there for a few minutes.
"I don't know what to say."
"Say you want to give it another try." I sat there and ran through everything from beginning to end. After thinking it through, I came to my decision.
"Well you wanted to know about my past right?"
"Yea, but that doesn't have to do with..."
"Yea it does. There are some things that I haven't told anyone except Mario. You were right when you said that I needed to trust you more. I want to tell you about DJ...before you decide if we should give it another try..."
"So you'll..."
"It's up to you. I'm not going to lie though. I tried my damndest to try and forget you, but I couldn't. I still have feelings for you and would like to try again. Before though, you need to understand why I've been a bit closed when it comes to certain topics..." "Sex?"
"...Yes...This is tough for me to say, but it would be best if I told you now while we're getting everything out between us. You don't have to tell me about your's just yet, but you're still going to tell me what Mario did to you...and I'll keep my promise. This is going to be real hard for me to tell you though so please bear with me." He nodded as I began to tell him about the one incident in my life that I had locked deep away in my mind: DJ
lol, I know you want to know what happened, but you'll have to wait for the next chapter :p I'm going to go ahead and say this ahead of time. The next chapter is going to be real tough to stomach (reason will be obvious once you read it)...probably the second or third toughest I'll write in this story. If you didn't like the ending of C6 heed my warning:
SKIP THE NEXT TWO CHAPTERS!!
Flashbacks on my end and his and some of the stuff my be stuff you didn't really want to know...of course, if I didn't think it had anything to do with the story I would put in, but its your call. I'll make it where picking it up at C10 will make sense. Wow, some things I never thought I would be so open about telling. Snow has finally stopped out here for those if you wondering, but it served its purpose: forced me to study (I passed all my finals!!) and gave me the opportunity to knock out another few chapters ahead of time. Due to the stoppage of updates with the site the last week or so, I'll actually be ahead of the curve. I'll be sending an update in every other day or maybe one a day.
Thanks again to those who send emails with feedback, comments, or other. I appreciate the input and will do my best to get you back quick responses. I'm a pretty busy guy, but once I finally get my labtop, I should be available online more. Also, I didn't realize that some of you readers didn't really know a whole lot about wrestling. My fault for not being more descriptive. If you have any questions about that, the story, or anything else just drop me a line. Take care and look for the next chapter in 2 days.
Also, I'd like to take this time/space to say a few words about one of my best friends, Jake. I met him over the internet and have known him for around a year and a half. Tragedy struck the night of December 8th, when he was involved in a car accident. His sudden death was just two days after his 22nd birthday. He was a guy I could always turn to no matter what the problem. He was gay also, but it didn't matter. He was a great friend and person. It was impossible to not get along with someone so energetic and happy about life.
No matter what was thrown at him, he was able to take it in stride and always make the best of any situation. He taught me so much about myself and helped me find myself when I was still lost. He helped me through the toughest times of my life and I knew, that no matter what, he always had my back. I looked forward to his wake-up call every morning and our chats late at night. Sometimes he seemed more like an older brother than a friend...Sadly, I only got to meet him twice in person, but I will carry those memories forever. The frat party, the day at Six Flags, spending the week of my 20th birthday with him, teaching me how to play an electric guitar. I'll never forget those moments. Condolences and best wishes go out to his father, brother, extended family, boyfriend, and friends. R.I.P. buddy. I'll always miss you. Thanks for all the memories :(
[December 6, 1983 - December 8, 2005]
Chapter 8: Confronting Our Pasts - Mine