You could actually be lost in a fit of emotion at the point where I was. I felt basically lost and it seems that I have no feelings what so ever. Like I was empty and numbed from all the pain I been feeling. It was basically from then on my life was starting to be my living hell. Gangs were getting in deep and they need more new recruit to do some clean ups. So basically one day Steve, me, Brian, and Ray were sent to come along to talk over with some deal with Snake's old buddy. We arrived at an old restaurant that was not filled with people at all. Floor was wet and there weren't even walls, just poles sticking out of the ground holding up a little tent above us. It was freezing and the rain wasn't helping any.
As Snake and his buddy talked on a separate table than ours, we basically enjoy the free food displayed to us. Steve and I had always been crazy for eating, I don't know why, but I guess it was something we just like to do. Everybody could just stare at us as you only saw two chopsticks fighting their way around the table of variety of different dishes and constant clanking from our bowls as we shoved rice up our face. " Its like poetry in motion", Ray said.
Both me and Steve replied, " Shut up!" with our mouths still full. Everybody just had a nice laugh as we enjoyed our little afternoon together. Yeah, I haven't had this much fun for a while after Bobby been running a way from me. I understood why he says it fucking sick, but I still catch glances of him looking at me while we walk past each other. It was such a gut feeling that he likes me, but after what happened, I can't go any further than our first kissed. Actually me kissing him, because he had no part in liking it. I feel pitiful for still liking him, I can't see that he is an asshole as everybody else is saying. Guess I am just blind and only see how sweet and cute he was in front me.
Shaking my head back to reality as Steve bumped into me giving me a sign of the last meat on the dish. It was a duel, fastest chopstickers wins. We stared each other down and wiggled our chopsticks to get ready for the moment. Over at the corner, their so happen to be a dove eating from the ground. After it was finished and flew away we quickly shot our hands out and stuck our shopstick right on the meat and fought for the remaining piece. Sadly though it slipped and fell on the ground. " Damn man its all your falt, pick it up before boss sees us playing around," Steve said with a chuckle.
I sighed and bent down to picked it up to just place on my plate for the people working at the restaurant to clean it up. But when I bent down to pick the meat up. Some shiny object caught my eye. It came from under where Snake's table was and it was stuck rite under it as Snake and his buddy talked like old school friends. Looking closer I finally found out it was a kitchen knife! " OH shit," I said above a whisper to my friends.
Everybody looked confused at my sudden outburst and Brian asked, " what's wrong?"
I pointed down under the table where our boss was sitting. Everybody stupidly looked down all at once. But they saw what I was talking bout. Ray and Brian looked scared as in not knowing what to do. Ray whispered to everybody, " what are we going to do."
"Do we have to. YOU know, do anything bout it?" Brian asked
Me and Steve knew exactly what was coming up and we had to do something about it quick. Steve, real serious now said to us, " now from here on look out for every one and just.just don't get yourself killed, okay"
Everybody shook there heads and agreed. I lead the way and went toward our boss's table. Whispering in his ear and telling him about his situation. He quickly understood and acted like it wasn't a big deal. Smiling Snake said, " so.you double crossing me huh?"
His friend looked surprised as in wondering how we knew. Shock was all we saw in his in face and he quickly tried to reach under the table to get the knife. Responding as quickly as he did and i flipped the table and all the hot soups with it to fall on to his lap. He screamed like a sissy and fell off his chair. I grabbed the knife still stuck to the bottom of the table and gave it to Snake.
Not once scared, he laughed out loud and held the knife like this has happen often. Snake said, " you boys run along and play, I got other businesses to handle." He gave us some money for our duties and we quickly ran off. Still jogging we tried to talk to each other as in putting together what had we just witnessed. Steve was the first one to speak and said, " Yo, that was crazy. You know we almost could of got killed."
"Naw there was only one of him and he couldn't take ALL of us," I responded. It seemed to make sense because everybody nodded and agreed. After finishing what we said we heard a loud scream. We could only guess it was the poor buddy of Snakes. Guess it was a lesson we learned to NEVER mess with Snake. Exhausted mentally and physically we finally reached home. From downstairs to all the way to my apartment, I dragged my heavy legs off to relax at home. Opening the doorway to my homeage, I heard a door open behind me, BOBBY'S door.
Slowly I turned my back to face him. Just the simplest of quick peeks can for- fill my emptiness for the night and might even finally allow me to sleep. But my image of Bobby was cut short as Bobby just opened the door slightly and to throw a bag of trash out his door. I looked down and knew he didn't want to see or even talk to ME and to make it worse I heard him mumble under his breath as he closed the door. The moment came and I knew from then on me and Bobby couldn't be lovers or even couldn't be much less of friends. Sighing again, I closed the door behind me and the water works just started.
I couldn't resist the hurt, the pain, the eagerness to just see and talk to him again. Still, even though he is being a total bitch to me I couldn't hate him. I couldn't let him go, because of the impression he had put upon me. He showed me all of life's meaning in just looking at his eyes. It wasn't about sex at all. It was wanting him as an equal. You know. a person you could just talk to, with out even trying and spending time with each other appeared to be like 10 minutes, while it was actually 5 hours. Yes, it was that kind of feeling. Now, seeing him not in my life, I also notice how my whole life has seemed to of been only revolving around him. Just him alone, I spent the most time with and shared some of my life greatest secrets. But no, he took my love and basically CRUSHED it with his hands and blowing it back me. Oh I just hate this moment rite now. Have I ever had thoughts of killing myself?
Sure, but that only meant I couldn't see Bobby again. Yes, it was that bad. Soon though I notice a banging on my door. I felt it hit my head because I was leaning against the door. It was supporting me for my crying. Wiping away my tears, I got up and tried to calm myself down. AARRHHZ! My eyes was burning, and red. How am I going to explain this to the person behind the door.
Fucked up as I was, I opened the door. It was Steve and behind him was sigh. his girl friend. This isn't what I needed rite now, but seeing them so happy I couldn't resist to at least let SOMEONE be happy. Steve notice my eyes were a little puffy and red. He asked, " you alright man? You look like you out of it today."
Sobbing little I responded, " yeah I'm ok, you and your girl have okay, just don't make a mess, MOM is coming home eventually heheh." Steve saw through me and he saw through my fake smile. But he was interrupted by his girl's kiss and he just melted in her arms. God they look so happy, that is the kind of thing I want to experience someday.
Well seeing things was getting a little sexual I just left them alone. I told them I was going to be back in and hour and was just taking a walk. Knowing them I was pretty sure they probably didn't notice I said anything or even left. After locking the door, I knew I was going to be right next to it I just KNEW it. Bobby's door. It was like the only thing that was separating us, other than the hatred he had for me for being gay, something I had no control over. I tried not to let it get to me, but it did so I quickly went down stairs and took a strool along my neighboorhood. It was really relaxing, seeing so much open space and people. Yeah like those people over there. What!? What are they doing! Damn they are making out too.
It seemed that everybody else had found that special something, that special someone to complete them, well except for me that is. I hastened my walk to get away from the love, and saw that the other road was even worse, empty. It eerily compared how I felt, so I was like fuck it and just went with it. Time seemed to have slowed down and it was purposely trying to hurt me. As a walked along the side walks I noticed hearing footsteps. But before I could see anything I felt a pain on my side of my stomach. A dark figured pulled a knife out of me and ran away. Things was getting dark and my breathing was getting harder. Everything at the moment seemed to have just vanished.
BEEP.BEEP.BEEP "Wha.what's that.where am I," I asked barely hearing myself speak. " AARRGGHZ," I yelled feeling the pain on my side and from opening my eyes too quickly, damn that blazing white light. But out of all this pain I felt some comfort and some warmth around my back as if someone was hugging me. Someone was hugging me! Who's was it though. I asked, " who are you." Still barely able to open my eyes.
The Stranger as it seemed just responded, " SSHH its ok I am here for you."
That person sounds soo familiar I wonder if it was...........
Hope you liked this one too, someone said my story wasn't long enough so I wrote this one just for you haha. Well this story was I know a little boring and confusing, but I couldn't get my mind together to type write. Me and Bobby now are like getting better now and we still give each other looks but it is cute one though haha, but never talk. This REAL Bobby from my school, I have a crush on soo bad. He seems so nice and innocent, but he responded the same way on the story. We cleared it out with me lying saying I am not gay so we could at least be friends.
Well I hope the other wrestlers stop picking on him. Those clowns are putting viagra on his drink before he goes up to wrestle and he has this big ass hard on while wrestling. Funny as it is I really want to warn him about the next time the guys are doing it again. Apparently he just thought he was horny, well what guy isn't haha. He is soo innocent I want to help him, but what can I do right I am not his friend so tuff luck BOBBY HERE IS SOME MORE VIAGRA haha I can't wait to see the next wrestling match, not to see his hard on you sick O, well maybe a little but mostly him being embarrassed, yeh.