Finding Love After Incredible Loss

Finding Love After Incredible Loss Chapter 1

Copyright to this story remain strictly that of the author. No other publication or use of this story is allowed without the consent of the author. This story contains female to male, female to female, male to male and several combinations of each both implied and explicit. If this offends you, please do not continue. All characters and implied situations are strictly those of the author and are not based on any real-life events or characters. If you are under 18 years of age, please exit this story now.  

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Finding love after incredible loss

Main Characters 

Name 

Description 

Aaron Jonathan "AJ" O'Brien 

6' 1" tall, light brown hair, cerulean blue eyes, 42" chest, 30" waist, 8-pack abs, 5% body fat & 12-inch cock. Pretty much everyone's wet dream – guy or girl. He doesn't even know how good looking he really is 

Sydney Marie O'Reilly O'Brien 

5'10" tall, dark blonde hair, deep green eyes, stunningly beautiful, D cup and a perfect counterpart for AJ. Recently deceased. 

Conor Jameson O'Brien 

AJ & Syd's oldest son 

Caleb Jeffery O'Brien 

AJ & Syd's youngest son – by 4 minutes 

Eva Marie O'Reilly Reagan 

5'10" tall, light blonde hair, blue eyes, stunningly beautiful, D Cup 

Matilda `Mat' Sullivan 

5'8" tall, auburn hair, brown eyes, beautiful, B Cup and spunky as hell 

Scott Jonathan Reed 

6'1" tall, black hair, cerulean blue eyes, 40" chest, 31" waist, 6-pak abs, 7% body fat & 8-inch cock. Another wet dream for both guys and girls. He doesn't know how good looking he is. 

Chase Andrew Brown 

6'2" tall, medium brown hair, blue eyes, 38" chest, 28" waist, defined abs and an all-American good-looking guy 

Brett Michael Young 

6'0" tall, sandy blond hair, brown eyes, 38" chest, 28" waist defined body with chiseled good looks 

Brent Alan Everman 

5'10" tall, light blond hair, green eyes, 38" chest, 30" waist, fit body with boyish good looks 

Steven Andrew McDavid 

5' 11" tall, black hair, green eyes, 40" chest, 30" waist, fit with rugged good looks 

Chapter one -  

It is 2:00 AM on Saturday, 30 April 2005 and I'm wrapping up the early morning feeding of our 4-month-old identical twin boys Conor and Caleb. Conor has crashed out and Caleb is nearly there when there is a knock on the front door. I'm thinking my wife of a year forgot her key when she headed out with her girlfriends for a drink to celebrate having finished all their finals for our Junior year at Washington State University. Then the knock gets louder and more urgent and as I approach the front door, I notice a police officer standing there about to knock again as I pull the door open.

At that moment my whole world came crashing down, I see the flashing lights from his car and a group of fraternity brothers from across the street gathered. Officer Reed begins to speak and I don't react, speak or in any way respond to what he is saying. Evidently, I must have squeezed Caleb to tight as he squawks and I come back to the here and now.

Officer Reed begins again - "your wife and her friends were hit by a car traveling at a high rate of speed that blew through a stop sign. they have all been taken to the local trauma center across the state line in Idaho. it does not look like your wife will make it through the night due to head trauma and major internal damage, her friends are in bad shape but will make it. the impact to the car was directly into the driver's door where your wife was sitting. do you have anyone that can stay with your son so that I can get you to the hospital to say goodbye?"   

I begin to collapse and Officer Reed catches me before I fall to the floor. Two of my fraternity brothers have pushed their way past the other officer and are at my side, Brett takes Caleb and Chase helps me to a chair. They tell me they will take care of the boys and that I need to head out to the hospital. I stand and head to the door and Chase grabs my arm as I'm standing there in a very worn pair of sweatpants that have been cutoff to shorts and are hanging low on my hips, showing the upper part of my ass and cock. He guides me to my room and I finally snap out of it enough to rapidly strip and pull on a pair of jeans, t-shirt and flip flops.  

Officer Reed puts me in the front seat of his car and off we go to the hospital. I make my way to my wife's room - she is almost completely unrecognizable. The only way I can tell it is her is from the wedding ring on her left hand. I take her hand in mine lean in and kiss her cheek - I whisper to her that I love her and I need her to watch over me and the boys as our guardian angel - with that her monitor flatlines and she is gone from this world. The doctor and nurse come into the room, shut down the machines and express their condolences. I remove Sidney's ring and place it on my pinky next to my wedding band.

I ask for a phone - I need to call her parents, my parents and back to the house to let Brett and Chase know I will be home within the hour. I place the call to her parents; in the middle of the first ring her mom comes on the line, she knows something is wrong, she feels it. I explain what happened and let her know Sidney hung on until I was able to tell her goodbye. We talk through their plans to be in Pullman, Sunday mid-day to help me with the arrangements. I phone my mom and dad and let them know what has happened and my mom tells me they will be there by noon today. Chase and Brett let me know the boys are still out and they will take care of them.

I exit the room numb, know I need to get back to my kids - I realize I did not drive and now I must find a cab back the 10 miles to my house. I sink to the floor and begin to cry uncontrollably. A strong set of arms pull me to my feet and guide me outside and into a car. Officer Reed slips into the driver's seat reaches across and wipes my tears away. He hands me his card with his name and number on it and lets me know that he is there if I need someone to lean on. He starts the car and we head from Moscow to Pullman.  

It is nearly 6:00 AM now as we near our house, the streets are packed with fraternity and sorority members holding candles. I recognize many of the people there as we are a tight knit community. I ask Officer Reed to stop and I get out. As I start walking through the crowd to our house the crowd makes room for me to get through. There are tears, condolences and support from everyone there. As I continue to walk, I'm surrounded by Sydney's sorority sisters and my fraternity brothers. It's clear that everyone knows what has happened and are there to help support me and the boys through this nightmare. I make it the three blocks to our house at 7:00 AM and am completely drained. There are notes, flowers, stuffed animals and other gifts on the front porch. I say my last 'thank you' and go in the house.  

Brett and Chase offer to stay, but I tell them I need to be alone. I head into the boys' rooms, lean against the wall and slide down as I begin to softly cry as all the pent-up emotions flow out of my body. I don't know how long I was sitting there, but I hear Conor start to stir - I rise and pick him up, change him and get his bottle. Before I finish Conor's feeding, Caleb starts to cry and I realize I'm all alone and will have to figure this out...  

It's now mid-June and I'm thinking about how the last month plus has shaped my future. Sydney's funeral was an emotional roller coaster. I was standing in the vestibule of the funeral home obscured by some flowers and overhear her high school boyfriend and his new girlfriend spewing crap - "i can't believe she let herself get pregnant at 20 and the why the hell was she drinking and driving and blah, blah, blah. " I was not sure I was going to be able to speak given how wrecked I was, but after over hearing that crap I knew I would and set the record straight - I made it clear that even with an unplanned pregnancy, we were in love and expected to spend the rest of our lives together, the tragedy that took her life was the result of an impaired undercover DEA agent that was on assignment trying to interrupt a drug smuggling ring and that Sydney was celebrating the end of her Junior year by being the designated driver for her friends as she was still breast feeding.  

There is a knock on the door, I answer it, I look into the eyes of the man standing at my door and am struck just as I was with Sydney when we first locked eyes. His mouth is moving and I'm not hearing anything he is saying. My brain has obviously shut down and the only thing I am processing is 'why am I getting hard just staring at this man's eyes, I like women, I've never had any feelings toward a man before, WHAT THE HELL'. The man says my name loudly this time - "'AARON' are you alright?"   

I snap out of it enough to acknowledge I'm ok and then I get the feeling this man is checking out my package - it is nothing to obvious, but suffice it to say, when I get an erection, it is hard to hide. I ask the man what he needs from me and he starts over - "Aaron, I don't know if you remember me, but my name is Scott, Officer Scott Reed. I was the officer that was there the night your wife passed. I had a few days off and I wanted to check in on you, Conor and Caleb." Again, I'm just standing there staring at the man's lips as he is talking, wondering how they would feel to kiss. WTF - I have only been this tongue tied one other time and that was when I met Sydney.  

"Shit, what is wrong with you". Scott looks at me with a very hurt expression on his face and turns to leave. I snap out of it enough to say - "Scott, it's nice to meet you and I'm sorry I did not recognize you when you first came to the door." He turns around as has a VERY confused look on his face. He opens his mouth to talk, but nothing comes out and then he starts again -  

• Aaron are you ok?  

• Call me AJ, but I'm fine,   why?  

• When I first started telling   you were just staring at me, then you acknowledged that you heard me, then   when I introduced myself, you just stood there and then you blurted out -   "Shit, what is wrong with you", so I'm just confused and want to   make sure you are ok.  

• I blurted out - I'm an   idiot and still a bit out of it, so please accept my apologies and come on   in. Do you want anything to drink? The "shit, what is wrong with   you" was supposed to be in my head and not out of my mouth. I realized   I was being a total idiot, so please forgive me.  

Scott comes in and sees the boys "playing" on their activity mats and asks if he can pick them up. I tell him to have at it and asked again if he wanted something to drink - he asks for a beer. I look in the fridge and realize I have water or formula, so I ask him which he would prefer as I set a glass of water down on the end table. He says he would prefer a glass of formula and cocks a half assed grin at me. Again - I'm tongue tied and just stare.  

I hear Scott ask Caleb - "is your daddy always this tongue tied, cause I find it adorable". At that I blush and look at the floor. I have no idea what is going on - I'm feeling giddy over this man, feeling like a traitor to Sydney and just downright confused. "Snap out of it".  

Shit I did it again - Scott is looking at me again with that lopsided grin of his, he winks at me, puts Caleb down, stands up and walks toward me. He grabs me in a bear hug and sighs heavily and squeezes hard. Shit I'm getting hard again, wow is that his hard cock pressing into my lower abs? What the hell is going on, must get away. I pull back and tell Scott it is time for the boys' nap and he should go.  

I walk to the door and open it for him. He has not moved. I ask him to leave and he starts moving to the door and shuffles past me, out the door and down the steps. I close the door and breath for the first time in what feels like hours. What the hell just happened, we are both guys and I like women - at least I thought I did, what is going on with me.  

Just then the phone rings and it is Syd's Aunt Eva – we talk for an hour, in which she is peppering me with questions about me taking care of myself as well as my boys. She knows I have been so focused on settling the estate, insurance claims, lawsuit and the boys that she is concerned about me. As she puts it – I need you to be the `hottie, little nephew so she and her friends have some eye candy for Christmas', I turn beet red with no one around. From the moment I met her, she has known how to make me blush and become self-conscious. My face is coming back to color and she drops another one – `have you gotten any or are you still just beating your meat?' 

I about choke on the water I was just drinking. `Inappropriate much Eva?' 

You should know that `Aunt Eva' is only 32 and smoking hot. 5' 10", blonde hair, blue eyes, bit boobs and all around a fine-looking lady. She knows it and is not afraid to use it and is VERY adept at making others uncomfortable. The only person I remember giving her a run for her money was Syd and she's gone now. 

Eva complains to me, damn – I need my AJ back, someone to spar with, someone who knows he's drop dead gorgeous and can have and has had anyone he wants. You were Syd's perfect match – hot, hung, witty, smart and took no shit from anyone including me. What can I do to get my AJ back? 

My only response is – I don't know. `Your AJ' is pretty much a zombie and I can't get out of this funk and the only thing keeping me going right now are my boys. 

Eva in exasperations shouts – you need to get on or under someone NOW. If not that – you need to get to the gym and get some blood flowing otherwise you are going to be old before your time and never get laid again. 

As I hang up the phone – I tell her I will try and claw my way out of this funk.  

It's the 1st of September, Conor and Caleb are 8 months old and started walking last week. I thought it would be SOOOO much easier when they were walking so, I would not have to carry them everywhere - boy was I wrong. Now they are everywhere and there are two of them heading in different directions. My mom told me it was payback as I was walking at their age and into everything.  

I've been working out most every day since my strange ass encounter with Scott and the kick in the ass from Eva. It really has helped my mood and boosted my confidence. I have gotten my routine down including daycare and a very cute baby sitter named Joan.  I've even started going out on occasion – much to Eva's dismay I still have not gotten on or under anyone as Eva so inappropriately described it. 

I've spent time going through the house and donating Sy'ds stuff. I kept some key mementos and really worked on making the house a home for me and the boys. There are family photos now hung from just before Syd was killed hanging prominently in the living room as well on the dresser in our my room.  I've been working on adjusting my vocabulary as I have to accept, I'm alone in this thing called life. 

I'm trying to study to get ahead for the semester as pre-med is a lot of work and I know that I must be on top of everything or it is all going to crash down on my head. Before the accident I was set to graduate in December a semester early, but now I'll be lucky if I graduate at all. Ok stop feeling sorry for yourself and get your head out of your ass (another thing I'm working hard to do...).  

Its time to deal with the package from the attorney. I know it is about the case against the DEA and the agent who killed my wife, but have not wanted to peel back that wound.  Her goes nothing –  

I open the package and find three separate legal size envelopes in the package – 1 marked – Insurance Settlement, 2 marked – Estate Settlement and 3 marked – Lawsuit.  

I start with the Insurance Settlement as I am pretty sure it includes notifications about the life insurance payment and maybe medical coverage related to the Auto accident. Sure enough everything is there – notification of the 5M deposit from the life insurance Syd and I purchased during the pregnancy to hedge against something happening to one of us and support the other while taking care of the kids.  Additionally there is notification and itemization for the accident – the replacement car, the medical bills for Syd and her friends and a note stating they had recovered all the funds from the governments insurance company as it was clearly the other driver's fault.   

The envelope labeled `estate settlement' was not something I knew anything about so I went there next as I was not sure I was ready for the `lawsuit update'. I opened the envelop – As I began reading, I came to understand that my wife had more money in their family than I originally thought. I knew they were wealthy and that was some of the problems her dad had with the poor farm boy from eastern Washington. Now I had a better picture of why there was friction there. Suffice it to say - my wife's trust had been settled and all the proceeds were now in accounts for me, to the tune of 500M. I continued to read through the documents and found that there was also 150M for Conor and 150M for Caleb. The documents made it clear that Syd's grandmother was a very wise woman, very good and made sure that her estate was taken care of even though she was still alive and kicking.   

There was a handwritten note from Syd's grandmother Lorraine (AKA – Nana) telling me to stay in touch and not to be a stranger. She noted the tension with Syd's dad – Elliot, but told me that the family's money was something she controlled and given Syd's love for me and the boys the money was rightfully mine and to hell with anyone else butting in. If they didn't like it, they might get cut off.  

I called Nana and had a great conversation – updated her on the boys, told her I was getting my shit together and asked her if we could see her during the holidays. She was very direct on this point – she expected to see us just as if she were my own grandmother. In no uncertain terms did she think of me as anything but family and nothing would ever change it. She chuckled a bit and told me that the only thing that would change that is if I didn't find someone to spend my life with as she knew Syd would want me to be happy and carry on and continue to build my family. I assured her I would do my best – but it would take some time as my heart was still broken. 

I opened the "lawsuit" envelope last and read through those documents. The government was offering a very sizable settlement, given all factors - age, career choice, earning potential and her net worth at the time of death, the offer was 10B dollars. The lawyers were advising that we should counter at 25B. The amount of money was overwhelming – on the one hand it sounded like overkill, but given Syd was worth nearly a billion when she died at 20 maybe it made sense. 

I knew I needed to talk to someone, but who? My parents did not have this kind of money and would not really know what the right answer was, her parents were an obvious choice, but I was not sure they would be open to talking through this given they were still grieving, so I dialed her Aunt Eva. Her advice on the lawsuit was to let the lawyers handle it and get what they felt was right as they were on retainer and would get nothing more or less than their fee regardless of the sum, they got for the wrongful death suit.  

With that settled, Eva asked me a question that caught me completely off guard – ` I hear you have a new someone in your life'. I told her I was not seeing anyone and I was focused on healing, the boys and school. She kept pushing and told me she knew for a fact that there was someone new and that I was getting in my own way.  

The next words out of her mouth made me spray water across the room as I choked – if I was telling the truth, who was the dark-haired, blue-eyed stud in my life that got me all tongue tied. I defended my manhood and told her she was full of shit, I am straight and asked where she was getting her information given I had buried my wife a mere 4 months ago and that wife was her niece.   

Her response knocked the wind out of me – I know more than you think I do and I need to get a grip – `love is a feeling/emotion/state of mind' it should not be dictated by gender, race, religion or anything else. It is what connects to each other and what allows us to be human. She stated in such a matter-of-fact way - love is love. You need to realize that when you find it, you need to embrace it, hold on to it, and make it grow. I know you loved my niece with all your heart, soul and everything in your being, that will never leave you but you need to be open to the next love in your life - regardless of who that person is. She stated firmly – I believe this man completes you and will make you whole again.  

I told her I thought she was full of shit but thanked her for the advice and I would think about what she said about the "dark haired stud".  

I left a message with the lawyers, telling them that they should proceed how the saw best fit. With the life insurance policy payout and the "estate" envelope, we would be ok with money and whatever they were able to get from the suit, would allow us to help others that needed it.  

It was time for dinner - I fixed the boys dinner and put it on the table. They were playing in their room when I went into get them. I changed them, brought them to the table and put them into their chairs - thankfully we had found the ones that attached to the dining table so I could sit at the corner and feed them both - less messy and less drama. I cleaned them up and let them down to run around for a while. I cleaned up their dishes, cleaned the kitchen and put on a Disney movie for them to watch.  

We snuggled on the couch and watched Finding Nemo. My stomach growled and the boys giggled. I realized I had not eaten since breakfast. I got up and let the boys watch the movie while I made a sandwich. I could not stop thinking about what Eva had said to me, it was like a fly buzzing around – annoyingly persistent. How did she know about Scott and my inability to speak coherently and keep my dick from getting hard when he was here?  

Damn – that man could obviously get a rise out of me as I was getting hard just thinking about him. What the hell was wrong with me, my wife died 4 months ago and I was now having sexual thoughts about another dude. FUCK ME. I knew if I even were to consider something like that my family (including Syd's parents) would disown me... ugghhh what was I going to do as I really could not get him out of my head, but I had no idea what he thought/felt as I kicked him to the curb when I got flustered by him.  

September and October flew by - I was taking care of the boys, going to school, studying, working out and getting into a routine that felt good and made me think I was going to make it through the nightmare. I had picked the boys up from daycare and we had gotten settled in for their dinner (chicken, noodles & spinach) which seemed to be as much in their hair as it was in their stomachs. They ate all their apple sauce of course and it was time for their baths. The phone rang while we were wrapping those up - I got them in their PJS and cleaned up the tub.  

I went to the answering machine and found that Aunt Eva had called - she was checking in to see how I was doing and to find out if I had gotten horizontal with the dark-haired stud. I rang her back and we talked for 30 minutes about everything that was going on in our lives. I found out that she was seeing someone new after her divorce and she wanted to introduce us this upcoming weekend. She was beyond excited about the romance and wanted to spend time with the boys. She wanted to make sure I got a babysitter for my boys and her 2 girls for Saturday night so we could all go to a bar and have some fun.  

She wanted me to ask the dark-haired stud - I told her I was not ready to entertain that idea, but I would make sure we had a great time and that I was looking forward to meeting her new lady friend. Dead silence, I chuckled and told her to tell her girls that Uncle AJ said he loved them and was looking forward to seeing them on Friday and `oh by the way, you aren't the only one that has `ways''.