Finding Love After Incredible Loss Chapter 10
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Finding love after incredible loss – Chapter 10
The two hunks stared into each other's eyes – AJ was tense as he was unsure where they were going, Scott was tense as he did not want to hold this man back.
Scott tried to crawl out of AJ's lap, but AJ held tight – `we can talk right here.'
AJ asked Scott again – `what are your thoughts, talk to me?' Scott told AJ he was scared, he knew that AJ needed to go to medical school, but he was unsure whether he should go with him. He was concerned about leaving his dad alone. Scott told AJ how he had finished his senior year at WSU and was heading to law school when his mom died of an aneurysm. He would not leave his dad alone, so he took a job on the Pullman police force and stayed in Pullman. His dad has tried to get him to return to school, but Scott has been reluctant because he is worried about his father being alone. Scott rambled on for about 15 minutes and AJ got more annoyed by each tick of the clock, you need to go to med school, I need to stay, god I want you to stay, we should be together, I won't leave for you...
AJ had enough – he asked Scott to stand up. AJ stood and pulled his sweats up, he walked to the door and opened it. He turned to Scott with tears in his eyes and said to him – `I think you should leave before I say something I can't take back.' Scott stood there; you could have knocked him over with a feather as he did not know where this was coming from. He was convinced he had just told AJ he loved him and would follow him to the ends of the earth. AJ growled – `leave now.' Scott fastened his pants and walked out the door. AJ closed and locked the door behind him, turned out the lights on the porch and inside the first floor of the house as he grabbed a blanket and snuggled up with his boys on the love sacs in the playroom. How could he have been so stupid to pour his heart out and ask a man to be his husband. Scott gave him a running list of reasons not to be together and in the end did not care enough about him to try.
AJ woke as the sun was coming in the windows. He rose and went to the kitchen to make breakfast for his boys, he would have to suck it up and move on he was their dad first and foremost, they needed him. Boys changed and at the table with their milk, pancakes and bananas. Joan coming through the door to take the boys to daycare. Coffee in hand AJ made ready for the day – his first appointment was with his advisor to talk through the packets and choose a school – he had decided he would close his heart to everyone but his boys and carry on. He could not go through another loss; first Syd and now Scott. He knew his heart could not take it again. He kissed his boys telling them to have a good day. As he passed Joan, he thanked her for everything she does for he and the boys and kissed her on the cheek as he went upstairs.
He turned the shower on, got it warmed up and stepped under the spray. He let the tension go and cried over this latest loss. His shower was a long one, but when he stepped out to dry off, he had put his heart in a steel box and was ready to do his best for his boys. He got ready, put the medical school information in his bag and headed for his advisor's office. His secretary, Sophie, greeted him with a hug and asked if AJ would like a coffee, he said he would and thanked her. When she handed him the coffee, she noticed his gorgeous blue eyes were not dancing as they normally did, they were still beautiful were not filled with the life and hope she had seen in August. They were like they were when he lost Sydney – hard blue marble. Sophie knew there was something different when AJ took the cup from her and asked her to call him Aaron from now on.
Her phone buzzed, she answered and stated – `yes he's here.' She said – `Aaron right this way.' She opened the door, announcing Aaron to Dean Simmons. Dean Simmons tilted his head and Sophie slightly shrugged her shoulders. Dean Simmons came around the desk, extending his had stated – `AJ, its great to see you. This has to be about your acceptance to medical school. Come on in and we can discuss the options.' AJ asked Dean Simmons to call him Aaron, now that he was heading to medical school, he should be a little more grown up. The Dean raised an eyebrow to Sophie as she closed the door.
Aaron and Dean Simmons sat at a conference table in the corner of the office. Aaron took the 5 envelopes out of his bag and placed them on the table. He only had one question – `why are they all stating he starts in January?' The Dean chuckled and stated – `I spent time with Professor McDonald. Talked with her about the fact that everyone else gave you a makeup test after the loss of Sydney. She was the only one. In the end, Professor McDonald broke down and said she was wrong and that her decision to dig in was since she had gotten close to Sydney as a student and her start advisee. She was devastated and could not bring herself to see the pain in your eyes and heart. In the end, she gave you an A in the course and stated, you were her best student and had never dropped a point in her class. Even without the points from the final you had the second highest point total in the class.
Once you complete your finals in mid-December you will be a graduate of the university. I talked with each of the programs and suggested they bring you in to the program in January so that you could close this chapter in your life and have a chance to heal away from everything that is so haunting. Aaron asked the Dean which program he thought would be best given his desire to be a surgeon. The Dean started into his feedback on the programs and at the end of his analysis – he thought the most well-rounded Medical Program was UC – San Francisco as they ranked the best in Surgery, Research and GP. That said the prestige of Harvard as an institution could not be beat. Aaron thanked him for that, said he would consider the input, but thought he was leaning toward Duke. Even though their GP program was only top 50, their Surgery and Research were both top three and the location was something he needed right now – far away and in a warmer climate. With distance and climate in the mix, Dean Simmons could not argue against Duke. It is a great school and he was certain that AJ, sorry Aaron would excel at. Dean Simmons did state he had been in contact with the UW program who would have a spot for Aaron, since it was close to family did Aaron want to consider that program. Aaron sighed and said he needed a fresh start and time to build a new life.
After 90 minutes of back and forth and a call to the Dean of the School of Medicine at Duke, Pascal Goldschmidt, Aaron had accepted the start of his new life in Durham, North Carolina. The Dean indicated that his office would secure a residence near the school for Aaron and his two boys. Aaron would be able to move in the last week of December and classes would begin after the New Year.
Aaron called his parents and let them know he had selected Duke and would begin his drive east on the 27th of December as classes would begin the 4th of January. He was excited to start his next chapter. His mom asked if Scott was going with him and Aaron said no, I believe that is over. Before he hung up, he said `mom I'm sorry for the drama. I'm focusing on my future and my boys; the rest does not matter. I will see you next week for Thanksgiving. I love you both.' He hung up and headed to class.
Aaron wasn't looking back, he would be a great surgeon and would make sure his boys were taken care of, loved and knew who their mother was. As he completed the day, he hit the gym and worked himself hard. He showered, dressed and headed to grab the boys at daycare. When he walked in Caleb and Conor ran over to him and latched on to his legs. Aaron knew at that point, he was going to be fine, alone with his boys but he would make it. He touched the wedding rings that were back around his neck, a tear rolled down his cheek and he said quietly – `Syd, you were my one and only. I know that now and will be ok. I have your memory and the boys, thank you for the most precious gift.'
Aaron grabbed the boys and went home. They settled back into their routine, spent Thanksgiving with the family, including Syd's parents at his mom and dad's house. Aaron made it clear he was unwilling to discuss Scott, apologized for the drama and said – it was a blip. They had a brilliant time and ate more than they should, loved each other like they should and really gave thanks for what and who they had in their lives. Charlene and Evelyn stated they would come to Pullman at the end of next week to pack the house, watch the boys and generally take care of Aaron so he could finish his exams and focus on school.
The moms arrived together and took over the household. Aaron focused on his 3 exams and his workouts, everything else was noise and thus not something to focus on. Chase and Brett tried to get AJ to spend time with them but were rebuffed at every turn. Steve and Brent tried to get Scott to open up, but he was sullen and would not engage either. The 4 fixtures in AJs life were at a loss and had no idea what the hell happened. They had been kicked out that Sunday as Scott and AJ kissed with their cocks hard and proud, then the next thing they knew Scott did not exist for Aaron (what they hell was up with that change) and AJ did not exist for Scott.
While Aaron was taking his last final – his lab work – 6 hours of testing, Chase, Brent, Brett and Steve stopped by AJs house (they had finally refused to call him Aaron and were ready to tie him down and pull the stick out of his ass) to talk to mom. Evelyn hugged her boys and asked what they were up to. Chase stated – we are frustrated with AJ and don't understand what crawled up his ass and why he was acting like a robot. Evelyn gave Chase what for as she did not appreciate his language but agreed there was something going on with AJ. Charlene joined the conversation and agreed with Evelyn and the boys. She knew it had something to do with Scott, but also knew that they had been rebuffed and told to leave it alone. Brett related the evening that they all had last been together in the house (leaving out the sexual/naked things), how things were lovey dovey romantic on Sunday when they were kicked out of the house and how robotic AJ was the next day. Chase, choking back tears said – `this is worse than when he lost Syd, at least then he would talk about it, but now all you get is `I love you, but butt out''. Mom, I'm worried that we lost his heart – he has thrown himself into 3 things – school, workouts and his boys. All important, but he has totally shut his heart off, you can see it in his eyes. They have always had life, energy and love in them. Now they are just gorgeous blue pools but don't have any sparkle in them. What can we do to help? Anyone of us would through ourselves in front of a bus to help him, but he has shut us out. We have always been more than fraternity brothers and now I don't feel like we are anything to him and that is killing us.
With that – the door opened behind them and Aaron walked in singing and stopped in his tracks when he noticed the group gathered. Caleb and Conor ran to their daddy, with both boys yelling pick me up, pick me up. Aaron dropped his bag and scooped up his kiddos, kissing them and blowing on their bellies as he walked into the room of sullen adults. Aaron got on the floor with the boys and played with them, while the adults just watched him. After 10 minutes of silence from the adults, Aaron took the boys in the other room, put a movie on and pulled the doors partway closed. He turned on his heels and addressed the group – `what they hell is wrong with you six?' No one spoke, they all just stared at him. The only noise to be heard were the fits of laughter coming from the playroom. Aaron looked at the gathered group and stated in no uncertain terms – `you all need to do one of two things – 1 support me in my choices or 2 get out. You choose. I'm going to go change, order some pizza and finish packing as the movers are here the day after tomorrow and I head home after they are finished.
Aaron headed upstairs to change and came back downstairs in cutoff sweatpants and a WSU t-shirt. He went to the refrigerator grabbed a beer, popped the top and took a long pull off the bottle. Turning to the group said – `1 or 2?' There was a mumbling from the living room – `1', his mom stood and said to her son – `AJ and no it is not Aaron to me and never will be again. Syd called you AJ from the time you knew her and she convinced me that was what I should call you too. If you don't like it, you can go fuck yourself. You have had your piece and I will have mine now. Boys, shut it. AJ, none of us know what is going on with you other than you are not yourself' AJ started to interrupt and his mom silenced him again `I said – it is my turn you will shut your mouth and listen to me. I told you the answer to your question is a resounding `1'. That does not mean that I am going to keep my mouth shut when you have put your head so far up your ass that you can see day light. Chase, Brett as I said before `shut it'. AJ dear, every person in this room LOVES you, don't roll your eyes at me or I'm going to put my foot up your ass to join your head. We know something happened with Scott.'
At that point Evelyn marched into the kitchen, grabbed AJ by the ear and sat his ass on one of the stools at the kitchen bar. `I did not raise you to be disrespectful and you will NOT start now. Evelyn continued – you took us all by surprise when you introduced Scott as your forever love, now you won't even discuss him, something happened. We all see that and will support your decision to move on. That said, you WILL NOT shut us out. We love you and are here for you. So as your mom and the person in this world who has loved you the longest, please pull your head out of your ass and lean on us and let us be part of YOUR future – you should not try to move forward on your own, you have too many people who love you.
AJ sat there listening to his mom – when she was done, he kissed her on the cheek and relented. He apologized to the group, but did state Scott is out of bounds, but he would do his best to pull his head out of his ass. Once he had apologized, he looked at his mom and said cheekily – I would truly appreciate you and everyone else to watch their language around my boys, they are not used to hearing such words. Evelyn smacked him on the back of the head. Pizzas here – did you order enough for your older boys? AJ winked and said – what do you think.