Finding Love After Incredible Loss Chapter 47
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Finding love after incredible loss – Chapter 47
Carrie nodded and said, "Unc so am I; what they did they didn't just do to you they did it to all of us and that's not fair."
Eva already knew they had fucked up, but to hear your 11-year-old daughter say it out loud was a HUGE wake up call.
Carrie took the Caleb and Conor to watch a movie. The others left to let AJ and Scott get dressed. Cheryl said – "15 minutes in the family room so we can get started."
AJ scowled and said "30, no less." He closed the bathroom door before she could argue.
Scott was feeling rough, but the water and aspirin that AJ made him swallow last night helped a bunch. Scott was in the shower and soaping up when he ran his hand over his cock, balls and pubic area. He looked down and then to AJ, "when did I do this? Don't get me wrong I love it, but I don't remember doing it and that kinda freaks me out."
AJ chuckled and said to Scott, "I'm sorry babe I did it last night when I was cleaning you up."
Scott hung his head, "I'm sorry you had to do that I didn't think I drank that much."
AJ's face turned a little stern but his voice was absent the frustration from last night. "Ok here is the deal – you weren't just drunk you were high."
Scott lost it, "what the fuck do you mean I was high, I don't do drugs." Scott's expression changed in an instant – "I'm going to kill that fucker."
AJ wrapped him up and held him as the emotions washed over him, AJ pulled Scott's face to him and kissed him deeply and with all the love he had in his heart. When he broke the kiss he said to Scott,
"I understand your frustration it took all I had not to beat him senseless last night. He thought it was a lark for your wedding night, get you revved up for a night of fucking but didn't take into account you don't do drugs and had more than enough to drink. However, you choose to handle Teddy is your business and I will support you without judgement and if you want my help, you know I have your back ALWAYS and in everything.
Now as for your new hairdo – you were a bit randy last night and insisted I blow you and swallow a load, which I gladly did but wanted you to remember it so I gave you a hickey" AJ ran his finger over it "and shaved you so you would be able to see it. Scott looked appalled, AJ had a lump in his throat and started in with an apology but Scott put his finger on his man's lip.
"AJ I'm so sorry, I know I was horny but the last thing I remember was you singing on the stage and Gina screaming out about the change to your Tattoo. Babe I am, this time..."
AJ put his finger on his lover's lips; "no apologies we will both go overboard intentionally or unintentionally at some point in the future and we need to be there to keep the other one safe – absolutely no harm done I love you to the moon and back and I want you with me forever and always just like my tattoo states, regardless of our inevitable fuck ups."
Scott replied "ditto baby you are my heart and soul and I guess its time to go deal with the shit show."
AJ said "screw `em they can wait for us to blow a load, are you up for it?"
Scott grabbed the lube and stuck his fingers up his ass and then slicked up AJ's rigid pole. He turned and looked over his shoulder and said love me. AJ chuckled, I was actually thinking the other way around and Scott shook his head and grabbed AJ's erection and pulled it to his hole.
AJ and Scott emerged from their room an hour later dressed and truly happy. They went to the kitchen for coffee and there was none, so AJ made a pot. Cheryl and Melissa walked in and started in – "30 minutes huh, let's go now."
AJ turned and smiled at his sisters and said "we'll be out when we both have a cup of coffee and Scott has finished his bowl of cereal, if that's not acceptable then start without us I'm certain that this whole thing has been chewed on by everyone."
Scott grinned at his sisters with a spoon sticking out of his mouth, he pulled it out nodding in AJ's direction and winked. Melissa huffed and left. Cheryl walked over to her youngest sibling and hugged him tight, "you are maddening my man but I do appreciate your style." She grabbed a third cup and chatted with AJ and Scott as the coffee finished brewing.
When the coffee was poured and they all had a sip they moved to the patio. As they emerged Gina shot – "it's about freaking time."
AJ looked directly at her and said very directly – "your wedding night was spent fucking the hell out of your husband, mine was spent cleaning up the mess y'all made of my husband. Don't even blame this solely on Teddy's edibles, each and every adult child here was feeding Scott drinks or shots – I saw all of you doing it so you can deal with me getting in a little loving this morning and if you can't to fucking bad. For the non-adults my apologies for my language but Uncle AJ is annoyed with your parents in varying degrees."
Chandler popped up – "I know we are here to talk about Charlene and her diagnosis and how we are going to operate as a family moving forward, but I was elected by the kids to say what's on our minds. You need to sit there and be quiet until I'm finished and if you can't your kids are walking out and life will be hell until we move out. No dad, we are serious and all the kids even the little ones stood up around Chandler." The adults nodded ascent.
"You have been ranting for over an hour that Uncle AJ and Uncle Scott are not here and why are they taking so long, fact of the matter is you all are responsible. When are you all going to stop treating Scott and AJ differently? Mom/Dad you didn't actively work to get Kevin drunk at his wedding and I know that you would never do that to Uncle Max. Mimi/Papi you do it too and frankly us kids are fed up with every adult here except Uncle AJ and Uncle Scott – they treat each and everyone the same. Sometimes I'm sure it frustrates you how direct and honest AJ is with his feelings, mom I know that is why you were so pissed at him and made us leave Christmas – you weren't mad at him for what happened, you were mad because you KNEW he was right. We've watched you all get mad, frustrated, pissed off and exasperated with Uncle AJ.
The only thing we can come up with is it's because you are jealous – he's smarter than anyone else here and that says a lot because there is brilliant, yet very stupid adults here, he's younger, fitter, better looking, but most of all he has the biggest fucking heart (all the kids stood as Chandler's dad said language) in this family and you all shit on him all the time. Aunt Gina you did it when he emerged from the house and probably didn't even think about it. As I said we are seriously upset and yes, my language was probably inappropriate but let's be clear your behavior has been fucking inappropriate – she stared right at her parents daring them to speak.
You have talked the last two days about what Mimi, Papi, JR, Charlene, Elliott and Gran did to Uncle AJ and don't get us wrong it was beyond messed up, the thing you forgot to do was look at your own behavior. We, us kids, know we are not perfect and God knows Uncle AJ can be a handful. The thing you all fail to recognize he is NEVER mean spirited, never lies and is always direct and to the point, I know from personal experience that can be frustrating. He is the mirror on the wall that tells us what we need to hear not what we want to hear.
Uncle AJ – your nieces and nephews love you so much. That said we do have a request from you – AJ stood up and walked over to the kids and knelt with them and said "what do you have on your mind."
Chandler stumbled with her words and Amanda hugged her and stepped in, "Uncle AJ this is hard for us because you are like a brother to us and not an uncle, you are only 7 years older than me after all. We need you to realize that your family loves you regardless of how they treat you. You sometimes have impossible standards and that is intimidating for us, will you try to allow for lower standards from your family?"
AJ sat there for a moment rolling that through his mind. It was a tense minute or two, but AJ finally said "I will agree to your request if I can make one of you as well – take me off the pedestal you have me on, I'm only human too."
Amanda started and then stopped and finally got out – "I'm not sure I understand do any of you?" All the heads of the kid's shook no.
AJ stood up, turned and addressed the adults – "did you all hear what the kids asked me to do?" Everyone nodded or verbalized a yes, "so do you agree" with them same response. "Did you hear my response and request" – all affirmatives. "Who can tell the kids what I mean?"
Nanny stood and said "I will." Nanny looked at the family gathered and smiled. She was so proud of them all.
Nanny started, "I am so proud of all of you for being here and part of this family that is looking to heal. To AJ's point – you all have him on a pedestal for varying reasons – kids it's clear that AJ is closer in age to you than most of his siblings and he is the hero big brother. Siblings you see him as the baby in the family the one that needs your protection, not quite your equal and some try to parent him, adults you see him as a damaged bird for all of the heart ache he has gone through. I have heard almost everyone of you say something similar to what Chandler said when she started – AJ is smart, hot, young, fit, better looking, and so on. I'm sure that adoration is hard to live up to, so what I believe AJ as asking is to be taken off that pedestal and just be a member of this family."
AJ had made his way to his Nanny, with tears in his eyes, admiration and love in his heart he hugged her tightly to his body and choked out "I love you so much." Turning to the rest of the family with a tear-stained face – "that's all I have ever wanted from each and every one of you and if you do that for me, I will certainly treat you with greater respect and empathy. Lowering my standards and expectations will be harder as I know you all are great people but if I get too pushy just tell me you need me to relax and chill, I will do my best."
All of the kids jumped up to hug Uncle AJ.
AJ turned to mama, papa and the cancer gang – "so I will start turning over a new leaf right now. I honestly am having a difficult time letting go of my anger; you all know my history and after Syd died, I thought you were finally seeing me as an adult but this incident shows me you aren't. AJ held his hand to stop his dad. I know I would die for Conor or Caleb and do everything I could to keep them safe and happy, but they are 18 months old and need me to keep the bad things away. I'm 21, shit no 22 years old, I have my own kids, I graduated college in 3 ½ years while putting my life back together, I'm in med school and I have found my second other half. What is it going to take for you to realize I can handle a crisis as I know none of you have been through what I have – a rape, death of a spouse 4 months after your babies were born and parents that perpetually treat you as a child? What do I have to do to see me as something other than a 12-year-old boy that needs to be taken care of?"
Charlene stood and walked over to AJ, hugged him and said "I'm sorry, I don't know what else to say to you – I have told you, you're my son but I have treated you as an in-law and you made me see that yesterday. AJ, I have breast cancer right now my doctors are giving me 12 months to live and I'm scared to death I won't get to see those boys grow up or see you be a doctor, have more kids and make a wonderful life with Scott. I thought I could hide from the diagnosis, but I can't and shouldn't hide that from you, my son."
AJ hugged Charlene and said – "mom I'm here and will be through as much as you will let me be involved in." To say you could hear a pin drop was cliché but true none the less – Elliott moved to hug his wife and AJ, he had not expected Charlene to tell anyone that today but was so proud of his wife for dealing with this head on.
Evelyn hugged Charlene and AJ, she said my "baby boy, strike that, my dearest boy, I should have known better and insisted we bring Charlene with us and help her tell you she had cancer but I didn't push it because it hit close to home and I didn't want to deal with it, selfish but true. Char whatever you and Elliott need from me, you have it my dear sister."
Eva hugged AJ and said – "I love you and was a chicken shit, I didn't want to see you hurting again it wasn't anything more than I did not want to bring pain to you I wanted someone else to do that."
JJ hugged his son and said, "I'm sorry my boy I suck at expressing my feelings and I rely on your mom to know how to deal with the shitty stuff, that's not fair to her and I will make sure I don't ever do that again."
JR hugged AJ and said, "I didn't feel it was my place – I didn't see how this family had welcomed me and mine and felt it was a family matter and I failed to recognize I'm family, it won't happen again son."
Gran just hugged AJ tightly and said – "I'm an old fool who has been wrapped up in getting old and have been avoiding getting close, Lindal has made me see that is no way to live and I'm sorry for my part in the deception."
Cheryl stood up and said for the rest of the siblings – "Charlene from all of us our hearts are hurt for you but know you have all the love and support you need from each and every one of us. I think we have settled the elephant in the room, but we need to deal with the mouse now."
Everyone took a seat and she continued in legal partner mode – "I think JR said it best we are family whether by birth or choice this collective of people is a family. What I'm here to talk through is the desire of my siblings and our children – no more secrets or lies, period. No one here or in the extended family should have to go through anything by themselves – collectively we are stronger, we can pray more, we can make things happen, we can support each other. We put together a family pact that we would like to have everyone sign and commit to – it simply reads
We choose to be part of this family known as O'Brien-Reed-O'Reilly-Marshall-Smythe-Daly and those family members that join by birth or marriage from this day forward. We commit to each other – respect, honesty, companionship, compassion, support and unconditional love. We will be there through thick and thin, we will resolve conflict positively, grudges and avoidance will not be tolerated and we commit to listening to the good, the bad and the ugly. We choose us and our future together, signed below by each individual freely and with love in their heart,
Do we have any objections?"
None were expressed. "The form has everyone's name on it in alphabetical by first name given we are ignoring last names as this family has many souls in it. Which Aaron puts you first, you and Scott grab Conor and Caleb and sign the document which will be notarized by Melissa and me." They progressed through every signature even the kids signed. When Eva and the girls signed, Eva shed a tear of sadness and a bit of joy as she saw that Mat's name was not there.
While this was going on Stephanie and Becca had slipped into the house and let the caterers set up lunch. Once everyone had signed, lunch was announced and a relaxed family gathering was had. A great deal of love was visible along with much needed healing.