Finding Love Where You Least Expect It

Finding Love Where You Least Expect It

This story is the property of the co-authors and cannot be reproduced or distributed without specific consent of the authors. This work is Copyrighted. All Rights Reserved. It is written for your enjoyment only. This story about the love between two women and is fiction. Any resemblance to real persons is purely coincidental.

Chapter Four

By Chrissy and Peyton

The next morning, again Tina was the first to wake. Before she got up she stared at the sleeping Carly amazed at how beautiful she was and how sexy she looked lying there half covered her small but very pink puffy nipples sticking out of the covers. She wondered how her life had turned so great in such a short time and would she and Carly last with her having a year and a half of college to finish. She leaned over and kissed one of those puffy nipples sucking it into her mouth.

"Mmm that's a great way to be woken up. Will you promise to wake me up like that always?" Carly asked running her fingers through Tina's hair.

"I promise," Tina smiled and leaned down and kissed Carly's nipple again running her tongue around the areola. "I could lay all day with you here but I promised your grandma we would come over and spend time with her and Frank today since you go back to school tomorrow."

"There will be many other times for us. There is no need to do everything at once or you will tire of me," Carly said.

"Carly, I find it hard to fathom tiring of you. Maybe pissed at you but not tiring," Tina injected.

"I can live with that. I've been known to make a few people pissed at me so I'm sure in time I'll add you to the list," Carly said and chuckled.

Tina laughed back and got out of bed," Come on let's get the day started. This time I'll fix you breakfast."

Tina and Carly got out of bed, dressed and made breakfast. "Remind me when I get back to grocery shop for you. Being single and eating out all the time you don't have much in your cupboards to work with," Carly commented to Tina after they ate cereal for breakfast.

"What, you are too good for cereal?" Tina chided Carly.

"No, but more than one kind and a box that was made in this century would be nice," Carly joked.

They left to go over to Carly's grandparents shortly after finishing the year-old cereal from the box Carly claimed was from the previous century. Luckily the milk was okay but Carly had to smell it and tongue taste it before she would agree to eat it. "We're here Grandma," Carly yelled out as they came in through the front door.

"In the kitchen," Ruth called back. They went into the kitchen where Ruth and Frank were sitting with their coffee and sweet rolls set out. "Did you all eat?" she asked.

"If you call it that," Carly said back almost too quickly.

"Hey that wasn't nice," Tina said trying to sound hurt.

"Do I even ask?" Frank said.

"Let's just say if I and Tina spend more time together either she needs to grocery shop in this century or all our money will be going for takeout. I didn't know they still made whatever that was we ate," Carly said to Frank laughing.

"Well, sit you two. There are plenty of sweet rolls. Can I get you some coffee Tina?" Ruth asked.

"Yes ma'am. At least someone around here has some manners," Tina replied and both she and Ruth laughed.

Carly went over and sat sideways in Tina's lap after Tina had gotten a sweet roll and the two of them shared it with Tina feeding Carly.

The rest of the day they chatted with Ruth and Frank until it got late. Instead of Carly going home with Tina since Ruth and Frank wanted to see her off tomorrow, Carly told Tina they would be spending the night here. This took Tina back a bit but Carly assured her it was alright but they would have to be on their best behavior. In other words extra quiet to which Tina readily agreed to seeing as how they were spending the night at Carly's grandparents. That night Carly had Tina finger her while they kissed each other quietly. Tina had Carly finger her but also Carly humped Tina's thigh as she fingered Tina. After that Carly cuddled into Tina's arms and they kissed as they fell asleep.

The next day both Frank and Ruth bid their goodbyes to Carly then it was Tina's turn. Though she hesitated showing affection in front of Frank and Ruth, Carly left her no option as she wrapped her arms around Tina's shoulder and neck in front of Frank and Ruth gave a very passionate kiss to Tina.

"Don't miss me too much that you forget how much I mean to you," Carly said as she kissed Tina. "I'll see you in two to three weeks depending on my testing schedule."

"I'll be waiting. Don't forget to call and drive careful," Tina replied.

"I will," Carly said and got in her car starting it up and driving it off.

"If you don't have to go Tina come back in and talk awhile. Just because Carly's not here doesn't mean you are not welcome over here."

"Thank you, I always feel welcome over here."

Carly arrived back at school and got settled in. After school on Monday she called Mildred to see if she wanted to meet.

"Hey girl, do you want to meet at the student union and get something to drink?"

"Yeah, I was just thinking of you. I can be there in a half hour," Mildred replied.

They sat in the student union having a chit chat. "So what made you want to major in psychology? Carly asked.

"It's rather personal but not anything to avoid talking about or embarrassing," Mildred said.

"If you would rather not say, I'll understand," Carly started to say.

"No, it's okay. Just don't think that my family is weird or crazy once I tell you," Mildred continued.

"Yours can't be any more dysfunctional than mine is," Carly told her.

"My uncle and grandfather have mental issues and they go to therapy. The rest of us don't seem to have the same problems so I wanted to major in something that could possibly help them and at the same time would help me to understand what they are going through. Do you think I'm weird or crazy for wanting to major in that field?"

"Mildred if that makes you crazy or weird then you must think I'm completely bonkers for wanting to major in the same thing. You see when I was six my mother was murdered in front of me and I still have nightmares over it. Then my best friend and first girlfriend died in my arms from cancer when we were fifteen. Until Tina, I have never been able to get close to anyone because I feel they are going to die and leave me. I still worry about her when she goes to work whether or not she will come home. Majoring in forensic psychology is my antidote for having to go through all of that. I made a promise to one day find my mother's killer and to make a career in law enforcement. So far I was unsuccessful at finding my mother's murderer and my first attempt at a career in law enforcement was a failure because of my size. It's a wonder I have any sanity at all."

"Oh my, I wasn't aware of all that. I'm so sorry about your mom and friend. If there is ever anything I can do for you just let me know.

"Thank you but I think I have it under control. Besides you have it worse in some respects than me," Carly added.

"How is that?" Mildred questioned.

"You have to eat your father's delicious food all the time," Carly said to lighten the mood.

Mildred laughed and said, "That is true, that is true. Father's food can be addicting and fattening. We should room together you would see how with a steady diet of his food, you will gain ten pounds in a month. He will be shipping stuff up to us each time we go home then maybe your size won't be such an issue for law enforcement."

Both Carly and Mildred laughed.

"So have you enjoyed it up here so far? " Carly asked.

"I have had a blast so far. College life has been great."

"Do you get home often?"

"Not as often as my sister and father would like," Mildred said and frowned.

"It just goes to show how valuable you are to them," Carly commented.

"Only as far as the business is concerned, otherwise I'm just another worker bee in the restaurant."

"Are you in a dorm?"

"No, I'm in an apartment but it sucks," Mildred said.

"I take it you don't get along with your roommate?"

"It's not that. She is nice enough. But we have no interest and to be honest I'm afraid to leave on the weekends for fear she will take and use all my things," Mildred added.

"Being in an apartment I would have thought you would have a better roommate?" Carly asked.

"You would have thought but no. I was in with two other roommates but they one graduated and one dropped out so I was stuck with a lease on a three-bedroom this year. I got them to allow me to take a two-bedroom if I signed a lease for both this year and next so I had to take the first person who came along. Now she wants to move out with her boyfriend so I may be looking again."

"Maybe we should room next semester. I don't have anything worth other people using and besides we could bounce things off of each other as far as psych goes," Carly asked.

"You know that's not a bad idea. I could use someone who is ahead of me to help out and we seem to get along really well plus I trust you seeing as you are dating a cop," Mildred added and laughed.

By the end of the week Mildred and Carly had made plans to share a place the next semester and for the next year.

Carly received her test schedule and called Tina to let her know when she would have her exams and be home. She also called her grandma to let her know seeing that she technically lived there. She also let each know she had agreed to room with Mildred the following semester and for her senior year.

Her grandma was happy she had made a friend while at school and Tina was more than happy knowing the family she would be staying with. Both Tina and Ruth were anxious for Carly to arrive at home. Tina had taken the time off to be there when Carly arrived. When she arrived seeing Tina come out to greet her, Carly ran to her jumping into her arms wrapping her legs around Tina's waist and kissing her passionately on the lips.

"Oh god it's so nice to be in your arms again," she said as she kissed Tina. She then went to Ruth and hugged and kissed her too. "It's so good to be home Grandma."

"I can tell," Ruth said after Carly released her grip on her. "And to celebrate I made your favorite for tonight, chicken and dumplings."

"Yum. Wait until you try Grandma's chicken and dumplings, Tina. They are to die for," Carly exclaimed.

"She already had some dear. Who do you think I used as my taste tester," Ruth said bursting Carly's bubble. "In fact yesterday she had some of my pork chops and dirty rice."

"Just what have you two been up to since I've been gone?" Carly said hooking her arm into Tina as they walked into the house.

"Nothing, just your nosey grandma finding out what kind of person my granddaughter is dating," Ruth said and laughed.

"And what did you find out Grandma?" Carly asked.

"One who if you ever break up with this girl you and I shall have to have a very serious talk about your mental health.

Almost simultaneously they laughed and Carly and Tina said," aww."

They went into the house where Frank, Ruth and Tina questioned Carly how she did on her exams with Ruth and Frank questioning her on Mildred as neither of them knew her. Later that evening after dinner Carly and Tina needing some alone time excused themselves and they made their way back to Tina's.

They no sooner made it inside of Tina's and the two of them were wrapped up into each other's arms.

"Oh, I missed you so much," Carly said as she kissed Tina all over her face and neck.

"Not as much as I missed you, Tina said back, "But I'm sorry to put a quash to the activities but Jo was hurt today at work and I would like to go over and see how she is doing," Tina said to Carly.

"Oh my god, is she alright? What happened?" Carly said and sounded concerned.

"Nothing serious at least I don't think so. I haven't talked with her but she apparently got roughed up by someone in a car accident and had to be taken to the hospital," Tina explained.

"Yes, of course. Let's go over. Do you think it would be better if you went on your own and I stayed with Grandma?"

"No, you just got home and there's no way I'm leaving you behind," Tina said.

"Aww, you are so sweet, but if we get over there and she needs you, I don't mind coming back on my own. I know what she means to you and you to her and I don't want to be in the way." Carly explained.

"This is why I ... "Tina started to say but she caught herself before she said love because she didn't want to commit yet and she didn't know how Carly would react. Instead she changed it to "This is why I felt knew I could take you over to Jo's. You are so understanding."

But Carly knew what Tina had tried to say and while Carly was thinking the same thing, she also knew there was a thing still holding Tina back from saying it. She had told Tina before she had to earn that back and Carly wasn't sure she was ready to give Tina all her trust. Tina wasn't sure she had earned Carly's trust and love in order to admit her love to Carly.

"Come on let's go see how she is doing?" Carly then said. "We can't do anything for her from here."

They drove over to Jo's to see how she was doing. They arrived and Carly was not surprised to watch Tina open the front door with a key she had on her key ring. It made her distrust of the relationship between the two edge up a bit.

"It's me and Carly, Jo. Are you in here," Tina said as she opened the door.

"I'm here," they heard when they walked in. "You'll have to come to me. I'm in the kitchen," Jo added.

They found her in the kitchen leaning over the sink with a glass of water taking some pain pills. They walked in the kitchen "What the hell, you don't look so bad. Why aren't you out mowing your yard," Tina kidded Jo.

"Fuck you. You go out and mow after you get run over by a car. I'm lucky I can be standing up at the sink," she painfully said back.

"Why are you standing up at the sink? I thought you were supposed to be sitting or lying down?" Tina chided her.

Jo gave Tina a look that said "Listen asshole, don't mess with me. I'm not in the mood. Because some asshole forgot her pain pills and had to get up to get them," Jo sassed back. "So what brings you two over here? Come to watch a disabled invalid struggle to get around?"

"I can take this abuse at home. Come on Carly. I see we can't be of help here," Tina said keeping up the banter.

"You can go you old hag. Leave Carly here so we can talk about you," Jo laughed.

"So you going to tell me what happened," Tina asked.

"I was responding to an emergency call when I got t-boned by a truck. I fucking wrenched my knee pretty bad and bruised some ribs. Luckily I had my vest on or I would have had some pretty bad internal injuries. The doctor says the ribs will be sore for a week or more but the knee and ankle may take a couple of months to heal up. So I'm stuck on the couch for a month or more," Jo explained.

"Jo, you're not taking those pain pills on an empty stomach are you?" Carly asked.

"There's nothing in the house to take them with, so unless you have a better idea?" Jo stated.

"What is it with you in law enforcement and grocery shopping?" Carly complained.

Jo looked at Carly then at Tina before saying, "Something I'm missing?"

"Suzy homemaker," Tina replied then quickly ducked as Carly threw a pillow from the chair she was sitting on. All three laughed after Carly threw the pillow.

"She's right though. We'll have to make sure you have plenty of food if you're going to be housebound for a while," Tina then said. "Before we leave we will make sure you have enough to last a few days. That will give us some time to make it to the store and stock you up for the long haul."

"I would greatly appreciate that. I was wondering how I was going to get by on takeout for a month or more. I think I could last a few days on takeout but eventually it would get old."

They sat there talking with Jo for awhile before it got late and seeing as Tina had to work the next day they decided to go home.

"I'll come back to check on you tomorrow and bring you some groceries," Carly told Jo and she gave her a hug before her and Tina left.

Once they were in the car Tina turned to Carly, "I'll leave you my credit card to get whatever she needs in the way of groceries. You don't need to spend your own money. And thanks for checking on her. She is a good friend and if the shoes were reversed she would be doing the same if not more for me so it is the least that I could do."

"I know and I'm not doing it because she is your friend, but because she is mine too and right now she is in need of a friend that's available to help her out," Carly replied.

Tina, from Carly's response, was taken aback by Carly's response. She didn't know if Carly was referring to her still being in Carly's doghouse and she was letting her know she still needed to prove to Carly she could be trusted so she didn't question Carly on what she meant.

"I don't want to assume am I taking you to my place or yours?" Tina asked.

"That depends on if you want to get my car tonight or tomorrow morning before work?"

Tomorrows fine," Tina said, knowing if she waited until the morning that would mean they would be spending the night together. If she took Carly home she could always change her mind once she picked up her car

After arriving at Tina's place, they got ready for bed. Tina was a little confused as Carly, while earlier she seemed to have forgiven her and they were doing great over Thanksgiving as well as the three weeks leading up till she came home, Tina sensed a cold shoulder from Carly. She didn't feel this way until they had gone over to Jo's and she wasn't sure where it was coming from. Was it from being over at Jo's and just being around Jo or was it something she might have said or done that Carly was moody about.

They got in bed and Carly curled up in Tina's arms and she nestled her head into Tina's neck and upper chest. She kissed her lips running her fingers over Tina's lips as if she wanted to ask her something but then she didn't. Instead she let out a contented sigh and closed her eyes. Tina lay there for awhile listening to Carly breathe holding her in her arms and occasionally giving Carly's head small kisses. She thought there were time she felt Carly tremble and once she thought she felt her let a tear fall on her chest but she didn't want to say anything hoping it would pass.

Sometime before she fell asleep but after Carly had fallen asleep Tina remembered whispering, "I love you more than anything Carly."

The next morning they arose and Tina went into work. Carly got up and after seeing Tina off she set out for Jo's. She didn't have her own key as Tina did so she knocked and called out to Jo in hopes that Jo could let her in without too much trouble.

"Here, let me give you a key so I don't have to get up for you each time, Carly," Jo strained to say after opening the door.

"Do you give everyone a key to your place?"

"What do you mean?" Jo asked.

"Last night I noticed Tina had one on her key ring," she said as she walked in. "Are you doing okay today? How's the pain?"

"I'm doing fine as long as I don't try and use this leg or move side to side."

"Have you eaten anything?"

"Not yet. It hurts to get up and try to fix something plus I have nothing to fix," Jo replied.

"Well that's why I'm here. You go sit down on the sofa and I'll fix you something then I'll go to the grocery store for you. I've got Tina's credit card so if you want steak and lobster every day she's paying," Carly said and laughed a little. Carly fixed some breakfast for Jo then she went to the grocery store. When Carly came back and unloaded what Jo thought was a month worth of groceries, she sat down with Jo.

"Carly I've been meaning to ask. Is everything cool between you and me since that unfortunate phone message?"

"Yeah, we're fine."

"Are you sure? You don't sound very convincing?"

"Yeah, everything's fine.

"Is everything okay with you and Tina?" I haven't seen or talked to you since I apologized way back when," Jo asked.

"She's still on probation," Carly responded.

"Oh, is that bad? Well don't make her suffer too long. I know she feels bad over it and it wasn't even her fault," Jo explained.

"I thought I was over it until last night," Carly then stated.

"What happened last night?" Jo asked.

"Two things actually. First she has a key to your house. If you two aren't seeing each other why does she have a key to your place and she uses it to let herself in?" Carly asked.

"Carly, Tina and I have known each other for a very long time, way before you came into the picture. We used to date as you well know and like she has a key to my place, I have a key to hers. It started out because we lived so far way from each other. It became a matter of convenience for us to exchange keys to let ourselves in if we came over before the other got home. Now over time it has taken on a different meaning and I truly believe we both have forgotten we have each other's keys. It doesn't mean any more than two friends looking out for each other. If it will make you feel any better we can give each other the keys back. I promise you we are not seeing each other or doing anything behind your back."

"That won't be necessary," Carly said but there was uncertainty in her voice.

"Okay, then what's the second thing?"

"What happened to you. Has Tina ever told you about me, I mean my mom and all?"

"She has told me some of it. She told me you met her at college where she lectured and you were trying to solve your mother's murder."

"There's more to it than that. I witnessed her murder when I was six and then when I was fifteen I held my girlfriends hand as she died of cancer."

"Oh Carly, I didn't know all of that. I'm very sorry but how does that affect Tina and you?"

"Because, I haven't been able to get close to anyone before Tina, being that I was afraid of them dying too. When what happened to you I immediately thought of Tina dying and I lose her too. My defensive mode kicked in. I know I shut her out and I wasn't all that warm to her last night. It's my way of pushing Tina away so I won't get hurt as much if something happens to her."

"Well if I could I would hug you but it might be too painful. Carly in our line of work anything can happen and yes it can be dangerous so I can't tell you we are safe and nothing will happen, but the chances are small. We all want to go home at night to our loved ones in one piece. What happened to me was an accident and nothing else. It could happen to you or anyone. I wouldn't put too much into it. I think you and Tina should have a discussion about how you feel so she will understand when you are feeling this way. It might only take her holding you to allow you to feel she is next to you safe and warm or it may take more but she deserves to know why you are feeling this way."

"I suppose you are right. I should tell her so she doesn't think I don't care for her."

"Tina is a loving and caring person. I know she thinks the world of you and would do anything for you. Just talk to her. This isn't a conversation new to people in law enforcement. Why do you think the divorce rate is so high? Many people share your view and can't take the stress of their loved one going off to work not knowing if they are coming home at the end of the day. If you truly love and care for her, you accept the risks knowing full well she might not come home. If not it would be best to not get too involved and lead her on. I'm telling you this for your own sanity and for Tina's heart. I care about both of you but my time with Tina goes back farther and I would hate to see her heart broken down the road."

"I understand and I have no intention of breaking her heart. It's just something I struggle with everyday and I was hoping between solving my mom's case and college, I would find the answers and peace I needed to get past this," Carly explained.

After that the conversation took a much lighter tone and by the end of the day, both Carly and Jo were rolling in laughter when Tina came in from work.

"Well I see you two seem to have gotten along well while I was gone," she said.

"Of course. Did you think we would be at each other's throats?" Jo asked.

"We were just talking about you when you fell off the tower at the police academy," Carly laughed.

"You didn't bring that up again, did you?" Tina asked almost laughing as she asked Jo.

"Well it was the highlight of our training," Jo chuckled. "Oh, and my old lady walker arrived today. So I won't need as much help now because I can use the walker to get around."

"Yeah but watch out for her. Don't get in her path. She tends to be a little wild with that thing," Carly giggled.

Later that night after they were sure Jo was going to be okay on her own they headed back over to Tina's. Carly had called her Grandma and updated her on Jo.

"Yes Grandma, Jo is going to be okay. No, Grandma, Tina wasn't hurt too. She doesn't work at the same place as Jo. Yes I am going back over there tomorrow to help. No you don't need to go and do anything for her. Grandma, she was in a car accident and hurt her knee. Alright, alright, I'll call you if she needs any help. Tina sends her love. Alright, goodnight Grandma," Carly said and hung up the phone.

"Carly don't get too upset with her. That's how grandma's are. They feel helpless unless they are doing something for someone who is sick or hurt," Tina explained.

"I know she means well." Because of what Jo had told Carly and what her Grandma had voiced concerns over the phone, Carly really began to worry. As they got ready for bed Carly finally let out what she was feeling. "Tina, you're not going to leave me are you?"

"Leave you? Where did that come from? Did Jo say something to suggest I was going to leave you? Damn her! What did she say this time?"

"No she didn't say anything. In fact she helped with how I was feeling which is what gave me the courage to talk to you," Carly explained. After they got in bed Carly sat up and got Tina to do the same so they were facing each other.

"You know how I still have nightmares about my mom and Jackie?" she asked and Tina nodded. "Well around you they have been almost non-existent. But remember that time you were in that house with Ron and I stayed out for a period of time and I sort of had a panic attack? Well I came close to having one yesterday because of Jo," she continued.

I don't' understand how Jo caused you to almost have a panic attack," Tina said.

"Because I thought of you and you getting into a wreck while at work. I could lose you over a wreck," Carly said and began to cry.

"Oh baby, you aren't going to lose me. What happened to Jo was an accident and I have no intention of letting that or anything else come between us. Is that what last night was all about?" Tina asked.

Carly nodded her head and collapsed into Tina's upper chest sobbing as she did, "Do you think I'm childish for thinking that?"

"No baby, I don't. Based on everything you have been through, I'm surprised your nightmares aren't more frequent," Tina said then hugged Carly tight and laid her down and smothered her in kisses.

"When you are feeling that way, talk to me. Let me know so I can let you know it is okay," Tina added.

"That's what Jo said. She told me you would understand that I shouldn't keep it from you or you might interpret how I'm feeling to a lack of caring," Carly explained.

"Well Jo is right, at least this time and you were right for talking to her. I need to thank her for helping and for the excellent advice," Tina said.

After they talked Carly curled up into Tina's arms and they lie there holding and caressing each other planting gentle kisses on the other until they fell asleep. Carly however couldn't let it go. Long after Tina was asleep Carly worried and wondered if Tina's fate was already written and whether or not she should wait around for the inevitable to happen.

The next day it seemed all was forgotten about Carly losing Tina as far as Tina knew. In the back of Carly's mind she hadn't forgotten. Over the holidays with school being out not much was said about it either. Carly was going back to school for her winter semester this time rooming with Mildred. They both seemed excited to be rooming together. They even drove following each other with their cars pulling a trailer loaded with the extra furnishings they brought. Mildred's back seat was full of food Lorenzo had made for them which they had to leave some behind as their refrigerator wouldn't be able to hold it all. They figured it would take three trips to bring it all if they filled the refrigerator each time. It seems Lorenzo was as happy as the girls were about rooming together.

Tina was there to see Carly off but she worried as she didn't get the sendoff from Carly she had anticipated. Instead she got somewhat of a cold shoulder as she had before and she worried what this time apart would bring. The day after Carly left she visited Ruth to talk to her about Carly and her nightmares.

"Has she experienced any more nightmares lately?" Tina asked.

"Not while she has been over here. But she has spent more time over at your place than mine," Ruth told Tina.

"Does that bother you Ruth?"

"Heavens no. Carly is an adult and can make her own decisions. To be honest with you Tina, I trust her more when she is with you than when she is on her own. You're like a second daughter to me and I know when she is with you she's."

"Thank you and you're like a mother to me. So you think I should give her space and see where this plays out?"

"If I were you, I would only give her enough space to make sure she is not pushing you away. Carly has a way of shutting out what she doesn't want to face. If you let her she will create a barrier between you two that won't be easy to penetrate," Ruth said with concern for Carly that she now had.

The next day after she visited Ruth, she visited Jo to see how she was doing and to ask her for advice. "You're coming to me for advice? Have you thought this through? You see how funny that is, don't you?" Jo asked.

"What because you are a former lover?" Tina questioned.

"Well I would like to think I've been temporarily put on the shelve and not completely replaced," Jo stated and laughed.

"You know what I mean. I've come to you because you are my best friend and I need help and because you are a part of this whether you like it or not," Tina pleaded.

"And just how am I a part of this?" Jo asked.

"Because you have already been giving Carly advice and since I'm your best friend you can start giving me advice too." Tina told her.

"Well since you've put it that way, what is it I can help you with? You know I'm not much to offer advice when it comes to love lives. God knows I've fucked up enough relationship in my time," Jo said, not realizing she subconsciously included Tina in her analogy. Even though she told Tina she wanted her to move on, she missed her immensely and was just saying that to let Tina make a nonbiased decision.

"I don't know how to take Carly's aloof attitude. I fear she is worrying while I am gone that she is going to lose me?" Tina said.

"Is she going to lose you?" Jo asked.

"No, why would you ask that?" Tina asked.

"Then why are you worrying about it. Unless you have plans on breaking up with her or intentionally leaving her than you can't control the other now can you?" Jo stated.

"No, I suppose you are right."

"Hey can you come back over on Tuesday say around one in the afternoon?" Jo asked trying to change the subject. Down deep she still loved and wanted Tina and she was afraid given the opportunity she would say or do something to let Tina know.

"Yeah I guess, why?"

"I have a doctor's appointment for my knee and could use the ride.

They made plans for Tina to take Jo to her doctor's appointment on Tuesday. Tina ate dinner at Jo's with Tina cooking so Jo didn't have to stand then she went home for the night. Little did she know Carly had called too but Tina had turned her ringer down by accident and Tina didn't look to see there had been a call from Carly and she didn't leave a message.

Tuesday came and Tina hadn't heard from Carly over the weekend which was unusual. Tina took Jo to the doctor for her knee. On the way to the doctor Tina told Jo she hadn't heard from Carly. Jo assured Tina it was nothing to worry about. Carly and Mildred were probably out shopping for their apartment and forgot to call. She would probably hear from her this week.

The doctor examined Jo's knee. He told her it wasn't healing as well as he anticipated but surgery, while an option might not be the answer as while it would heal, surgery could limit her use thus she wouldn't meet the physical qualifications for the job. He suggested physical therapy and then to reevaluate it and go from there. She went home dejected as she was too young to retire and law enforcement was all she knew. Any thought or discussion of Carly was forgotten and put aside as Jo had a career to consider and like it or not Tina was a big part of this.

"What are you going to do? You have your physical coming up. Can you get a medical deferment until you are better?" Tina asked.

"I don't know. What if it doesn't get any better?" Jo asked letting Tina know she was worried.

"I don't know. Why don't I stay overnight and let's sleep on it and maybe a thought will come to mind overnight," Tina said not thinking it through but staying out of concern for her friend.

At Jo's request and Tina not putting up any resistance they slept in the same bed. At first Tina didn't think much of it and neither did Jo but then the lines became blurry. Jo moved over toward Tina and was looking at her. Tina was lost in thought for her friend and what could she do. Jo reached up and caressing Tina's cheeks kissed her. Tina not thinking twice of it kissed her back. Soon they were embracing each other and kissing each other with passion. Jo was removing Tina's nightshirt and her hand had come up to cup Tina's breast when Tina realized where she was and what she was doing.

As she pulled back she said, "No, no I can't. Stop.

"What is it?" Jo asked though in the back of her mind she knew.

"I can't. Not to Carly. I'm sorry. I know you want to but I can't. I would be breaking my pledge to Carly."

"Just this once, I need you Tina, especially now."

Tina knew how wrong it was but she also knew Jo wanted her and she wanted and needed Jo. Tina looked at Jo and her will to resist gave in. They kissed and became more passionate in their affections rolling back and forth, legs moving to gain leverage and sleep shirts coming off. Tina's hands moved over and cupped Jo's breasts. She twirled her nipples between her thumbs and forefingers causing Jo to moan and grab Tina's head as she felt Tina's fingers giving her the pleasure her body so needed.

Tina felt the difference in Jo's pencil hard nipples and Carly's much softer puffier nipples as she compared the two thinking she enjoyed Carly's nipples more. Tina felt Jo move her hand over her mound and once her fingers located her divide between her legs she instinctively opened her legs apart allowing Jo's fingers to easily slide inside her wet opening. She gasped and hugged Jo as her fingers entered her moaning at how good Jo was at fingering her pussy.

Her breathing accelerated with each in and out of Jo's fingers and her hips moved back and forth as Jo's fingers moved in and out making a sloshing noise as they moved. Tina kept one hand on Jo's breast as her other hand moved over Jo's butt finding her rosebud. Tina parted Jo's crack and inserted he finger in Jo's rectum as Jo worked Tina's pussy making her squeal with arousal.

Carly had all but been forgotten at this point as Tina was too involved in what Jo was doing to her to think of anything else. She kept her finger at Jo's rosebud but wasn't consciously moving it or using it in any way as Jo had her at her peak. Jo moved her finger across Tina's clit sending Tina soaring into another world as her orgasm consumed her. It took her breath away and her body gasped and twitched with her spasms.

Jo let Tina lie there a few minutes before she took Tina's hand and began rubbing her own pussy with it. A couple of back and forth motions and Tina knew what Jo needed and she fingered Jo's pussy. She only fingered her a few times before she laid Jo flat on her back and spread her legs and crawled up between them. She blew on Jo's pussy lips then lowered her head and began to lick and suck on Jo's pussy. Jo moaned moving her head back and forth up and down as it had been a while and Tina was the best at making her cum with her mouth. It didn't take Jo long to feel her climax coming and she knew it was going to be strong one. Jo felt it down inside of her and couldn't stop it from screaming out, "Oh Tina, oh Tina, yes, yes, oh god oh oh awwwwwkkk" she cried out as her orgasm exploded.

After they had made love they lay there caressing each other not saying a word. While Jo was completely satisfied and content Tina lay there her mind working overtime. She had cheated on Carly and nothing could take that back. Her choice now was to admit it and take her punishment which probably would mean Carly permanently breaking up with her; not telling Carly at all keeping it a secret as if it never happened which she was uncertain she could do; or not telling Carly but breaking up with her and getting back with Jo.

Keeping it a secret was a possibility but then again she wasn't good at keeping secrets. Telling Carly was the logical decision. It made the most sense but if she told Carly, she would need to tell Frank and Ruth, which was worse. It would be a complete disappointment to them. The coward's way out would be to admit to Jo how much she meant to her and how much she needed her in her life. That would make Jo happy and being with her could be worse. Even if Jo had to retire she had an offer to run the self defense classes along with the firearms training for the multiple county area which every deputy had to attend each year and that wouldn't be bad. She thought about it and decided that would be the way to go.

The next day nothing was said about the love making but Tina again spent the night. The following night Tina spent the night and the two began to make love. "I don't mean to come between anything but what about Carly?" Jo asked Tina.

"What about her?"

"The other night you were concerned that us two making love would make problems between you and Carly. What has changed?"

"Nothing has changed," Tina stated.

"Wait, so now you are alright with us making love? What if Carly finds out?"

"It doesn't matter if she does. I'm breaking up with her to be with you," Tina said.

"The hell you are. What makes you think I want you every day?"

Tina looked at Jo as if she was off her rocker. "I don't get you. First you push me to make up with Carly. Then you beg me and tell me it's alright to make love with you. Now you expect me to forget I made love to you and wonder what about Carly? I don't get you."

"Yes, I pushed you to make up with Carly. No, I said I need you. I didn't force you to make love to me. The use of your hand was all I needed. And now I'm wondering why you're in my bed a third day in a row making love" Jo explained.

"You know we two are meant for each other. When we are together the sex is unbelievable and we have so much in common," Tina pleaded.

"Yes, the sex is unbelievable. And we do get along great. Tina look, the other night was outstanding. And I would do it again in an instance. It was meant to be a one and done time. You gave in too easy. I would do it with Carly too and with the two of you at the same time. When I'm horny I'd fuck just about anything. It just so happens you're usually available and willing and it doesn't hurt that I love you. I think Carly is about as hot as can be and I'd fuck her in an instant but neither one of you do I want to live with. I thought I'd made that clear. If you are staying over here to avoid Carly then you are wasting your time."

"You see the difference, don't you? I don't want you to ruin a good relationship over us wanting to fuck all the time. You have feelings for that girl and she absolutely adores you. You need to concentrate on making it work with her. I took advantage of you the day before and I'm sorry but I would do it again when I'm horny. That's just me. But you have something good there. Don't fuck it up. Now if you still want to make love I would be more than glad to fuck that tight sweet tasting pussy of yours," Jo added.

"Well yours is pretty sweet too but Carly's is the sweetest," Tina laughed and pulled Jo close. The two made love first with Jo between Tina's legs then Tina between Jo's then ending up hugging, kissing and fingering each other until they each came again.

The next day Tina and Jo woke up with Tina not knowing how she was going to tell Carly but she would have to and accept the consequences for her actions too. She just hoped and prayed Carly would understand. Before Tina went into work she and Jo discussed work options, what ifs and none of it sounded any better to Jo. The academy training was looking better and better all the time. There wasn't anything Tina could say or think that could help Jo out. The decision would ultimately be hers and Jo's doctor. Tina and Jo agreed to try not to let it bother them until the situation was before Jo which to her came much too soon. That night Tina decided to stay with Jo as she didn't want to leave her alone. By then it had been almost a week since Carly and Tina had talked.

Tina was finally able to get in touch with Carly. Tina and Carly talked for about an hour or so on the phone mostly Tina telling Carly about Jo's knee and that she had been staying over there. They kept their conversation light avoiding what they both wanted and needed to talk about but were hesitating bringing it up. It hung in the air like a heavy cloud and both of them knew it was there only both thought it was for different reasons. For Carly she still couldn't get over something bad happening to Tina and she would lose her forever and for Tina she cheated on Carly and because of that she would lose her forever. The only one to win in this situation was Jo because she would gain Tina back and on her terms. Carly thought it strange they hadn't talked in a while and all Tina could discuss was Jo. All of this only served one purpose to Carly. It led her to believe there was still a strong connection between Tina and Jo and in her absence she couldn't trust them together. None of this did Carly mention to Tina. When she hung the phone up all she could do was sit there and think hers and Tina relationship was falling apart and might be over.

Even Mildred who was still impartial couldn't convince Carly her feelings about Tina were something special and Carly was reading way too much into the suspicion. She tried to tell Carly that Tina was not that way and Jo was just a close friend who meant a lot to Tina and if the shoe were on the other foot it would be Jo who was there to help.

By the time spring break was here Carly and Tina only talked every other week. They hadn't even made plans for spring break. Carly arrived home early that day and went directly over to Tina's. Instead of the usual warm greeting Tina would have gotten from Carly jumping into Tina's arms as she came into the house, she instead came into a clean house and Carly cooking at the stove. The two exchanged kisses which seemed to soften the mood but Tina could tell there was something bothering Carly. After changing Tina helped Carly the best she could with dinner. After dinner they decided to snuggle on the sofa. Carly was the first to speak, "How is Jo?"

"She's doing fine, considering," Tina replied acting somewhat surprised Carly would ask that.

"Any decision on her disability?"

"The county is going to give her fifty percent but the state has offered to pick up the difference if she will run the self defense training and the gun classes for the state," Tina said.

"Wow that's a pretty good deal isn't it? Will she have to move?"

"No, she can commute since both are located in the county below us. But yeah it's actually more than she can handle. But she is happy. She still has a job. One that is connected to law enforcement, and one that she can come home to every night. It's just one that she is having a hard time accepting".

"Well good for her. Tell her I'm happy for her," Tina told Carly.

"Why don't you tell her yourself? We can go over there this week."

"No, you can tell her. I'm sure you will see her soon."

They continued to be cautious what they said around each other until it was time for bed. When Tina crawled into bed Carly, at first, was reserved. She and Tina had always slept together naked and for some reason Carly was being timid at getting in bed with Tina naked. After an awkward second she got in and cuddled up next to Tina. "I know it has been awhile and we haven't talked a lot but do you not want to be here or sleep together?" Tina said softly to Carly.

"I don't know," Carly said.

With that Tina sat up and pulled Carly up. "Okay, let's clear the air. What is bothering you Carly? I can't take anymore of this cold shoulder shit. Either you hate me or you don't. Either you trust me or you don't. Either you love me or you don't. But I can't live with this in between shit," Tina said and for once put her foot down on Carly's attitude which scared both Carly and Tina.

Carly bowed her head and the tears flowed. "I'm sorry Tina. This isn't how I thought it would be." Without another word Carly got up and started to put her clothes back on.

"Where are you going?" Tina asked sounding worried.

"I'm leaving you and for the record I don't hate you. I could never hate you no matter what you did. But tell me this before I go, how long have you and Jo been sleeping together?"

Tina was stunned. How could Carly have guessed she had cheated? Did she inadvertently say something? Had Jo spoke to Carly and said something? Maybe it was Ron who spoke to Carly or Ruth. But she hadn't told any of those she had slept with Jo. The only people to know were her and Jo and Jo wouldn't say anything.

She didn't say anything to Carly and that was her give away. Carly knew her too well and had baited her and she took it bait, line and sinker. What a fool she had been. But to her surprise Carly still didn't hate her.

She summoned up the courage and asked, "How did you know?"

"I didn't until now but don't worry that's not why I'm leaving you. In fact you're everything I ever wanted and need."

"Then what is it? Talk to me Carly. Tell me what I have done wrong?" Tina cried.

Carly finished dressing leaning over the bed giving Tina a warm passionate kiss before she turned to leave. As she walked out of the bedroom she pulled Tina's key off her key ring and left it on the dresser. Tina was stunned by the turn of events. What hurt the most was Carly leaving her key. That meant finality to them and Tina couldn't accept that. She didn't know what to do. She waited thirty minutes or more to see if Carly came back but she didn't. She got up and drove over to Carly's but her car wasn't there so she didn't go to the door. Not knowing where else to look she went back to her house.

Spring break was over and Carly hadn't returned to Tina's nor did she call her. Tina hadn't resided herself to the fact this was the end but it was sure looking like it. At first Ron would bring her up but even he had guessed the two of them were finished so he stopped mentioning her.

During the summer Carly kept her job with the Sheriff's department. Although very awkward to say the least Carly and Tina managed to make it work and even worked a few cases together. Ron was the first to notice that every once in a while he would catch either Tina or Carly staring at the other. He knew there were still feelings between the two he just had to find a way to put them together.

Carly stayed at her grandparents for the summer. Since neither had seen or heard from Tina in a while they wondered what had happened. On the second day home Ruth brought the subject up.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Ruth asked.

"Talk about what?" Carly pleaded innocence.

"The whole time you were gone we didn't see or hear from Tina. Now that you have been home two days and you still haven't mentioned her once. You seem to mention Mildred quite a few times but not Tina. Is there a new person in your life we should know about?" Ruth asked.

"Tina and I are no longer seeing each other. She's probably over at Jo's," Carly said in return.

"You know I'm here for you if you need to talk," Ruth stated and kept busy in the kitchen. It didn't take long for Carly to come in and want to talk.

"You knew I would be in here didn't you after you planted the seed? You just waited for it to grow before I came in," Carly said as she walked in the kitchen.

"Give you time to think through your thoughts and your questions will pour out of that pretty brain of yours," Ruth told her. She poured herself a cup of coffee and sat down motioning Carly to sit too. She waited a few minutes for Carly to collect her thoughts and organize them before she began, "How long have you two not been together?"

"The last time we saw each other was over spring break," Carly said sounding like she wasn't happy.

"I take it it's not what you want?"

"No it was my decision. But if you are asking if I'm happy the answer is no. In fact I'm miserable," Carly added.

"Then why don't you get back together?"

"It isn't that easy Grandma"

"Nothing ever is when it comes to love. But what makes it all worthwhile is you two love each other and that matters over everything else. Tell me when things started to go wrong and let's work through them and sort them out."

"It started when Jo had her accident. My panic attacks came back because I was afraid Tina was going to have an accident and I would lose her," Carly began to explain.

"I remember. Even Tina came over after you left and was concerned with the coldness you showed her."

"That's when it started and I couldn't get it out of my mind," Carly said.

"I wished you had let me know it had gotten that bad and not let it go that long."

"It did and I would like to say it was that simple but it got worse. I didn't treat Tina well after that and I think what I did next may have ruined our relationship."

"What did you do?"

"As it got worse I sort of forced her away through lack of contacting her and when I did I wasn't all the warm and friendly. It was like subconsciously I was trying to force her away and to Jo."

"And how did that go?" Ruth asked.

"Too good. I pushed her into Jo's bed," Carly replied.

"Oh no," Ruth gasped.

'Before spring break I guessed while I was there. I don't know if she would have admitted to it but I bluffed her and she admitted to it. But I can't be too hard on her because I have too," Carly admitted too.

"You did? With who?"

"Some girl at school. I did it to get back at Tina because after thinking that she and Jo had been together I wanted to be able to say I did too."

"And how did you feel afterwards?" Ruth asked.

"I thought I would feel horrible and cheap but I actually felt good. If this thing with Tina doesn't work out I might look her up and see if she still wants to date. Last time she and I were together she was disappointed I wasn't willing to see her anymore," Carly explained.

"Since this summer has begun Tina and I have been friendly keeping it business like."

"I bet that's awkward?"

"It has been. There are times I can tell she wants to be more than cordial and same with me. I find myself wanting to sneak a kiss here or there or touch her but then I withdraw afraid to get too close."

"Do you want to?" Ruth asked.

"What would you say if I told you more than ever? I felt like I royally fucked....oops, sorry Grandma," Carly said.

"I think we are past that stage. Just don't make it a habit of talking that way in my house," she told Carly.

"But I want her back more than ever. I just don't know if she wants me or if or is willing to take me back."

"There is only one way to find out, isn't there? I can tell you that if she does you will have to accept that Jo is a big part of her life and now with Jo's life changing she will be relying more on Tina than ever before."

"Oh I know. I have heard Tina talk to the others how Jo is taking over the self defense classes and the firearms instruction. Tina makes it sound as if they are going into business together and expanding it. That is why I'm worried she won't take me back and her and Jo will be together," Carly said acting defeated before she starts.

"One step at a time Carly. You still have your degree to finish and then you own career to worry about. Tell me how that is coming along?"

"Well Mildred and I have pretty much decided to form a business together even though I graduate first and will get contracts with all the local law enforcement departments plus contract with all the local health care facilities. She would contract with health care and I would the law enforcement and we each handle the others run over and shortages."

"It sounds as if you have it all figured out. Meeting Mildred was good for both of you. You can thank Tina for putting you together," Ruth throwing that in there to help Carly see the importance of Tina in her life.

After they had talked themselves out, Carly hugged her grandma, thanking her for always being there and knowing what to say and when to say it.

Later that week Carly was working in the office and another detective that had not seen Carly in the office when he called across the room, "Hey Tina, isn't your girlfriend taking over the self defense and firearm training in September?"

Instantly Ron's eyes went to Carly who was just out of the detective's line of vision but not Ron's or Tina's. Ron didn't know what to do but his fatherly mode kicked in and he was at Carly's side in a flash. He escorted Carly out the side door. "I'm sorry for that asshole being so insensitive," Ron apologized.

"No it is quite alright. I deserved it. If I wasn't so afraid to face the facts, Tina and I would have had a sit down and laid it all on the table for each other to see. But I've been too afraid to know how she feels to talk to her," Carly said.

"I can't say what she will say Carly, but I know she thinks more of you than she does anyone else so I wouldn't be afraid if I were you. Tell her how you feel. Someone has her confused right now so she may not give you the answer you are looking for but give her time, she will come around," Ron advised.

They went back in and Carly acted like nothing happened as did Tina. Tina and Carly went about their business as if nothing had been said or happened. Later that week Carly and Tina had an opportunity to be together and talk.

"Carly, I have so much to say to you but I don't know where to start and here isn't the place to have that conversation anyway. Could we meet for dinner tonight a talk?" Tina began.

Tina picked Carly up from her Grandparents and drove her to their new favorite place Lorenzo's for dinner. Tina was hoping a friendly place to eat would set the mood for Carly and put her in a better frame of mind. It seemed to work as Carly appeared to brighten up seeing Lorenzo, Lauren and of course Mildred. However it didn't allow for them to get much alone time to talk and that disappointed Tina. Once dinner was over and they had not been able to get into any kind of discussion about themselves, Tina was regretting taking Carly to Lorenzo's instead of some place where she didn't know the owners or their daughters who one happened to be Carly's college roommate and future business partner.

Tina took Carly home and on her front porch attempted to have the conversation with her. "I'm sorry we didn't get to talk tonight like we intended. I wasn't thinking when I took you to Lorenzo's that we wouldn't get much time together to talk or we would have gone someplace else."

"It's okay. While we didn't get much time to talk about us, we had some personal time that was more pleasant and I believe time for us to heal and make peace with our situation that is more meaningful to us right now," Carly explained.

"Are you saying we can never be together again and we should accept our relationship as being good friends and nothing more?"

Carly didn't say anything at first which was telling to Tina and hurt her more than she realized it would as it was then she realized how much she loved Carly and how she had not only hurt her but broke the trust they had together.

"I'm saying what we had is gone. Forever I can't say, but I'm not sure it can be restored. Listen, I know you intended to take me out, apologize, and tell me you are sorry. Then you would say how much you care for me and think I would say everything is all right. But life isn't that easy. Even my grandma has tried to convince me I should accept the fact that Jo will always be a part of your life but but I can't. I want it all and nothing less and right now I don't have it all. I don't know if I ever will but it doesn't mean I can't try."

Carly was holding her emotions in as her intent was to hurt Tina as much as she could for what she had done to her. She looked her in the eyes and told her, "Tina, I've started seeing someone else." Carly saying this was like stabbing Tina in the heart.

"You're seeing someone else?" she questioned.

"Yes, someone I've met at school," Carly responded.

That was the last thing Tina expected to hear from Carly and she was crushed. She didn't know how to respond as she never expected Carly to say that. Not wanting to make a scene or sound too disappointed she made an excuse and left for the night.

On the way back to her place the tears fell. She had never felt so hurt before in her life and so alone. She wanted to go see Jo but Jo was the reason this all started. She thought of Ron but she didn't want to hear his lecture on how Jo had been wrong for her. She wanted to go to Ruth but she couldn't go there because of Carly being there. She was lost and had no one to talk to so she went home to cry some more and to reflect on her life.

End of Chapter 4

To Be Continued....

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