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Finding Myself Chapter One
Disclaimer: This is my first time creating a story to contribute on this site, but I hope that this is just the beginning. The events in my stories are real, but names and places have been changed. I thought it would be neat to share some of my adventures of finding myself, exploring my sexuality and coming to terms and comfortable with the person I am today. I?m including a short background to get you caught up to my college years. I enjoy the pureness of relating to an experience, good or bad, hot or not, and understanding the roller coaster that life presents to us. Perhaps you can relate to some of my stories, or had similar experiences. Please enjoy if stories about gay sex aren?t off limits to you. Otherwise, I welcome your feedback.
My name is Stan and I grew up with my sister and parents in an urban city neighborhood within Washington, DC. While I don?t know when I first realized I was attracted to boys, I remember when I first started to explore my curiosities. Around the age of 12, I can recall when I first saw another boy?s cock. Growing up, I was friends with two brothers who lived down the street, Danny and Kevin. Danny was 14 and Kevin was also 12. Sometimes we would hang out and play together as a trio, or sometimes only one would come over to play. We were best friends, and one day the three of us wound up playing the ole game of ?show me yours, show you mine.? As innocent as it was to flash each other glimpses of our cocks, even amongst the two brothers, it soon progressed where we found ourselves many times touching each other?s cock, sucking each other, jerking off together or each other, swallowing and even thinking that we were successfully trying anal (we weren?t!). We played with each other often as a group or one on one, either during the day or during a sleepover. In hindsight, I didn?t realize how lucky I had become. In fact, since they shared a bedroom, I wonder if they would play together on their own. Perhaps Kevin sucking Danny?s cock every night before bedtime.
One day Kevin was over and we were in my room with the door locked. We were enjoying ourselves, playing with each other?s cock, rubbing them together, taking turns sucking each other. Along the way we were rubbing our bodies together and also kissing. I had learned about hickeys and was curious of them, and I tried to give Kevin one. It worked to my surprise, and I was proud..not realizing the severity of what I had just done. Then all of a sudden my Mom knocked and tried to open the bedroom door. It was locked, but it was a simple eye hook latch, so while the door wouldn?t open up, it still opened a bit so a crack emerged and one could see inside if they wanted. Based on how my bed was positioned in relation to the door, I?m sure that she saw that we were both naked on the bed, perhaps even with each other?s cock in our mouth.
We obviously scrambled to get dressed, unlock the door and pretend that nothing was happening. I?m sure that my Mom saw through the crack but she didn?t say anything. We quickly parted ways, looking forward to the next time we could play. Little did we know that I let our secret out and it would be the last time I was allowed to play with Danny and Kevin. Their mom flipped out when Kevin came home with a hickey and called my parents and me for answers. The call was a blur, but I remember feeling sad and rejected for something that I felt was completely blamed for, despite us all being equal participants. I suppose two brothers really weren?t going to ?out? themselves and admit to it to their parents. But after that happened, if I crossed paths with Danny, Kevin or his parents, I was treated invisible. My mom never said anything about the situation, neither did my Dad, and probably only confirmed their parental instincts that their son liked boys, and the cocks in their pants. This made me really think that I needed to push any attraction towards other guys out of my head and figure out how to make myself ?straight.? Sure, I still found male classmates and friends very attractive and the fantasy of some jerk off sessions. Through middle and most of high school, I focused on my friendships but was not one for dating, unlike my friends. I did give it a shot once in high school with a girl that was part of our social circle. We made it to a few bases with copping feels of her titties or my thick dick. She gave me a few hand jobs, a blow job, and even let me finger her. I even learned what blue balls were. But to be honest, I was less than thrilled with how my hand and fingers smelled after playing with her pussy a few times and I took no initiative to make it to home base, so it all fizzled out. I was content with busting a nut with her, but I had no desire to fuck her.
In 11th grade, I had developed a big crush on my classmate, Evan. We were two completely different people, but by sitting next to each other in History class, developed a friendship. He was into heavy metal rock and roll, playing basketball, going camping and riding his skateboard or bike. I was the complete opposite..a preppy non-athletic boy next door type that preferred R&B music, not getting dirty and the comforts of a mattress. Somehow we meshed and developed a great friendship that I repeatedly hoped would turn into some experimentation and sexual fun during times at his house while no one was home, during sleepovers or even camping. It did not, but I was certainly scared to initiate anything for fear of being rejected or banished by my friend and crush. Maybe he felt the same way. But I must say that getting to hang out with him produced some shirtless views of him on his skateboard or at the community pool and it provided me great jerk off material and had refueled my attraction to guys. Unfortunately he was a boxers dude, otherwise, the few times he changed in front of me, I may have had a nice opportunity to size up his cock and fantasize with each night I jerked my cock.
That same school year, I was assigned the seat next to another classmate named Tony. He was a popular and well known guy, but was rumored to be gay. Sure he was a bit effeminate, hung around with an ?out? lesbian, and was very particular about his clothes and fashion sense. But he played on the baseball team and hung out with many of the popular jocks and cheerleaders. Over a few months of sitting next to him, I realized that Tony was being awfully flirty with his baseball teammate Chris that sat in front of us. Like flirty and making sexual jokes that is beyond straight guy joking. While Tony always set it up as to be an innocent joke, I started to catch on and wonder more and more about the rumors and whether he was really flirting with Chris. Needless to say I was very intrigued by Tony, and even with Chris. Tony was an attractive tall black guy with a great build, and Chris was a bit shorter than Tony, but also had a great build and buzz cut with killer dimples. Chris was great at taking Tony?s jokes, despite how much they probably crossed the line for normal locker room banter amongst straight guys. Or maybe I wasn?t straight enough to tell.
One weekend at a hotel party I saw Tony and we were shooting the shit and having some sort of alcohol someone managed to score from an older sibling. The topic of Chris came up and I mentioned to Tony that it almost seemed as though he was flirting. He laughed and simply stated, ?if you only knew.? I wasn?t sure what to make of this, but I was certainly intrigued. So between class time and weekends, I kept the conversation going between Tony and I. Never sharing my interest in guys with him, it seemed to be the unspoken understanding that I too was like Tony, and had an interest in the boys at school, and the cocks packed in their pants. I really wanted to know if perhaps Tony and Chris actually were more than friends and fooled around.
Finally at another party I got the nerve with some liquid courage to ask Tony. He too must?ve had too much to drink, as he was very revealing with his crush on Chris, but it suffered from a lack of reciprocation. He shared with me how he had fooled around with a few of the school jocks on the team and that had me hooked. I wanted to hang out with Tony more, in hopes of getting to partake in some of the fun he was describing with some of the cute macho jock guys in our class dating their pretty cheerleader girlfriends. But Tony surprised me and conveyed an interest in me. I was very surprised and a bit scared all of a sudden. The kind of scared that effects you by mixing excitement and fear in a way that makes you start to shake in anticipation of not knowing what?s to come.
A few times through the remainder of 11th and 12th grade, there were times that Tony and I would fade away from the group on some weekend nights and start exploring each other?s bodies, but mainly each other?s cocks. Luckily Tony was bolder than me and within a few times together, we had managed to go beyond rubbing each other?s cock through clothes and eventually he whipped out his big thick black cock. I knew it was big, but wow! It had to be about 8? and was a monster compared to my 6? cock. I am a bit thick, but nothing compared to the Tony. We took turns from there swapping blow jobs and jerking each other off while in the heat of the moment, but then the next day, it was like nothing happened and we were good friends. I never got included in any of his fun he supposedly had with the class jocks, but I at least found comfort in knowing that I was not alone or the only guy that fancied sucking on a hard cock and swallowing cum, over playing with titties and a pussy. In fact, in hindsight, I now see the signs of what would eventually lead me to become a great cocksucker with a taste for cum.
Upon graduation from high school, it was time for all of us to head to the beach for Senior Week. I was rooming with Tony along with 4 other guys from my graduating class. The week was a blur with all of the drinking and week smoking that went on, but one night Tony and I wound up sharing a bed. In the next bed were two other guys, and two more on the sleeper sofa near the balcony. In the morning while everyone was still sleeping, Tony started stirring about and reached over and grabbed my morning wood. This was pretty brazen, but I didn?t stop him. In fact, I reached behind me, under the covers, and started rubbing his big cock through his boxers. This was very scary but exciting!!
Slowly he pulled my boxers down and also slid his down so that we were both naked with our hard cocks wanting attention. But this time Tony surprised me again and while stroking my dripping cock with one hand, he started rubbing the fingers of his other hand in my ass crack?and he found my pucker! While I had played with my pucker many times alone in my room, or in the shower, having someone else rub it was mind blowing. Again, in hindsight, I was very quick to offer my ass like a good bottom does to service a long hard hot cock oozing precum. I pushed my ass back offering Tony better access to my hole as I continued to reach back and stroke his hard cock. Precum was pumping out of his cock and eventually Tony replaced his finger with his cock. Sliding it up and down my ass crack and oozing precum, eventually lining it up with my pucker. I continued to push back against his raging monster cock but I was inexperienced, too tight and we were unsuccessful before others in the room started wake up. With a room of 4 other guys who were most likely not gay, it was probably for the best that I didn?t try and take his BBC at that particular moment. I certainly didn?t need a repeat of when I was 12 years old again, but this time with friends who I just graduated high school and would embark upon my college years with. Image them waking up to see my white ass pistoning back and forth on Tony?s big black cock up my ass.
Thank you for reading. Again, I welcome your feedback so that I can improve my stories for you to enjoy. Email me at - wrights841@gmail.com I know that this story was a bit all over the place, but I wanted to give some background before launching into the really fun stuff. Stay tuned!