Finding You

By moc.liamg@negnakarukas

Published on Dec 31, 2008

Gay

Hi all!

Thank you to allll the people that wrote. I love you all!

COPYRIGHT NOTICE

Please note, this copyright notice is retroactive to all stories I have previously posted on Nifty. They are distributed under the Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike 2.5 Australia License, Copyright (C) 2008.

DISCLAIMER

This story involves relationships between males aged 17-19. If you do not approve of this, why the hell are you even reading it now? If you are a parent reading through the Internet logs of your young child, do not punish your child for reading these stories. He/she clearly has some questions about his development, and it is YOUR responsibility to answer those questions truthfully and honestly. If this material is illegal in your area, leave now. Blah blah blah blah blah blah. You know the drill. If you aren't supposed to be reading this, Don't (although some flames would be lovely to publicly dissect :)).

FEEDBACK

I absolutely love feedback. Please submit your feedback, good or bad, lengthy or brief, in Japanese or in English, (although preferably English) to:

sakurakangen@gmail.com

You may also add me on Google Talk at the same address. I love talking to you.

Doumo arigatou gozaimasu.

And now, without further adieu.....

========================================================================= FINDING YOU: CHAPTER TEN - RAINCLOUDS =========================================================================

When I woke up the next morning, Chris had already left to go work with Hayaka-san.

"Ohayoo, William-kun" Tarou said to me, while sipping his tea.

"Ah, Ohayoo gozaimasu." I said back.

"I need you to go to the conbeni to buy food today, I have a meeting until late."

"No problem. Where is Chris? Have you seen him?"

"He said he wanted to go to work early, Hayaka-san wanted to give him a special tutorial before work got busy."

"Ah, soo desuka.. See, I have his sketchbook. He left it in my room."

Tarou raised an eyebrow.

"He draws?"

"Yes, he's very good. He keeps this sketchbook close to his heart though. So I don't want to read it."

Tarou nodded, "I understand. It is good that you do not read it. If you really want to give it to him, catch the train in and give it to him. You may as well stop at Toudai on the way and ask about Leo-kun."

Oh yeah, Leo. That's why I came to Japan in the first place. It had been just over a month already and I had done nothing to try and find him.

I nodded, "That's probably a good idea. I'll get the food on the way back."

"Who is Leo-kun?" asked a boisterous Saburou with a broom taller than he was, just marching into the tail end of our conversation.

Tarou frowned, "Don't sweep now Saburou, you need to go to school."

Saburou bowed deeply, "But, My Lord, the noble sweeping duties that you entrusted unto me cannot go by unattended!"

Tarou laughed at his inventiveness, "But, as the heir to this great house, you must become an educated nobleman! So go, or you'll be late again."

"But I don't wanna!" Saburou sat on the couch and looked sulky.

Tarou became serious. "You must go. I'll let you skip cram school this afternoon, but you better show me some solid exam marks at the end of this year! Do you understand?"

Tarou was pretty good at the whole 'fatherly' routine. Come to think of it, I never actually asked him why Saburou was living with his uncle and not his parents. I made a mental note of it.

Saburou jumped up and bowed again, "Hai! Wakarimashita!" as he marched off to get ready.


Toudai. It was drawn so impressively in the manga comics, but it didn't look all that magnificent in real life.

Yasuda Auditorium was the most famous building in the university, it was a large brown art-deco architecture auditorium with a silly sandstone neo-gothic european facade in front, in a curious hodge-podge of western architectural styles that didn't look in any way Japanese.

Then again, Toudai was renowned for it's scholarship not it's appearance.

I didn't actually go into the Auditorium, but instead went around to the student office. There was no queue, so I just went up to the counter and pressed the little 'ding' thing that tells someone out back that a client is waiting.

A woman came out and bowed, apologizing for the wait, before asking what I was there for.

"I am looking for a friend of mine who is studying here as an international student. His name is Leonardo Baker, from Australia."

The woman typed on her computer, shook her head slightly, then said, in English, "Sorry, but there is no student name that at Toudai."

I blinked, "What? No, I know he's here. Maybe you spelled it incorrectly. L-e-o-n-a-r-d-o."

She shook her head again, "Sorry, nothing."

"Huh?" I was really confused, "Look, maybe he put his name down as 'Leo'? Just try that."

She bowed her head and typed at the computer again. "No Leo, no Leonardo. I am sorry. Are you certain you tried the correct University? I can call other universities for you if you wish."

I sighed, "Go ahead, maybe he transferred or something."

She nodded, "Hai, Chotto matte, kudasai."

I went and sat down at the waiting chairs. She took a very long time and made alot of phone calls - how many universities were there in Japan? I felt kinda guilty making her do all this work. After almost two hours she put down the phone and indicated for me to come over.

"There is alot of Australian international student," she said (in English again), "but there is no Australian named Leonardo. There is one Leonardo but he is from Italy. Would you like me to call him up?"

I shook my head and bowed to her, "No, thank you for all the work."

"Iie, it was nothing" she said and bowed more deeply than I did (which was pretty damn deep).

I walked out of the student office and sat on the main steps of the Yasuda auditorium. Almost reflexively I pulled out my photo of him, and, once again, I immediately began crying.

"I'm supposed to be here so I can find you.." I sobbed, "If you're not here, then why am I here?"

Eventually my sadness was replaced with anger.

"WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU!!?" I screamed to the air, shaking my fist clenched with the photo inside.

After I had calmed down a bit, I noticed several onlookers with puzzled or concerned expressions on their faces. One guy, though, was laughing - what a jerk.

I unclenched my fist and realised that I had ruined the photo. I suddenly felt extremely alone.

I ran down the pathway leading out of Toudai, throwing the photo in the bin on my way out, tears streaming down my face.


"So yeah, I guess I lost my cool a bit, and I forgot to by food from the konbeni, so, here, you can have these yen as repayment." I said to Tarou, handing over a gift envelope, hoping I was being culturally appropriate.

Tarou shook his head, "Why do I need repayment? You didn't take money from me. The more important thing is, did you get Chris his sketchbook? That was the main reason you went in the first place."

Oh fuck. His sketchbook. I'd forgotten that too.

Tarou laughed. He must have seen the expression on my face.

"Well, I figured you actually had given it to him, seeing as you left with a backpack with the sketchbook inside, and you came back without a backpack." he remarked.

"Oh my god.." I exclaimed, "I must have left it at Toudai!"

I heard the door open. "...Left what at Toudai?" said a tired Chris returning home from work.

"Ah Chris," Tarou chimed, "You see, you left your sketchbook in Will's room last night, and Will here has left it somewhere in Toudai." - he continued talking despite the fact that I was making desperate throat cutting 'stop-talking-now-please' motions.

Chris turned to face me. He didn't look angry, he just looked.. cold.

I'd never seen him like that before, It was making me worried.

"You did what?" He asked, with a sort of serene calmness that was very alarming.

"Well.. uh.. It's not like it's entirely my fault, if you hadn't accidentally left it in my room last night, this whole thing would have been avoided."

He didn't say anything for a while, just looked at me. He nodded, "You're right. That's why I'm going to go with you on the train to Toudai to get it back. We may as well go to the konbeni on the way back. I noticed we were out of rice."

Usually, I would have expected him to make some tease about how I couldn't carry a whole bag of rice by myself.. he was definitely acting weird.

I opened my mouth to object, but thought better of it, and followed him out the door again.


The train was very empty. We sat down once we got on, next to each other, not saying a word.

I really felt awkward, and I noticed he was sitting in the red reserved seats again.

"Hey, dude, you're sitting in the old people's seats again, heh.." I tried.

He said nothing.

About five minutes later, he said, "Do you think, accidental things are sometimes not what they seem?"

I frowned, "What?"

"It is awfully convenient for someone to leave a sketchbook in your room, which that person treasures, which also just happens to be without a lock for the first time in living memory. One might even think that that person wanted you to look inside."

"What? You mean you wanted me to look inside that book?"

He smiled faintly, "That's not what I said."

A few minutes later, the doors opened at our destination. He got up before me. He really did know his way around inner Tokyo now.

"It was, however, what I meant." He said, with a bigger smile as he got off the train.

I followed, saying nothing.


As we walked up to the Yasuda Auditorium, the last of the day's students were making their way out of the Uni. I spotted my backpack sitting on the steps where I had sat earlier that day. One of the students had already noticed it, it seemed - he was sitting on the steps with the bag in his lap.

"Hey!" he shouted out, "Does anyone own this backpack?"

"I DO! I OWN IT!" I said in English, shouting so he could hear me.

He looked at me confusedly. Gah. "That is my backpack!" I shouted in Japanese.

He nodded his recognition and ran over to me with the backpack.

"Thank you very much." I said to him.

"It is nothing." he replied, "Pleased to meet you. I am Akira. I am a first year student. Just starting. What year student are you?"

I shook my head, "No, I am not a student here, Akira. Pleased to meet you as well. Perhaps we will meet again."

He bowed and said, "Yes, you are a wonderful artist." He looked away, and then back at me, and said "You and your friend make a wonderful couple, as well."

He bowed again and hurried off. Why did EVERYONE assume Chris was my boyfriend? Do we give off that sort of 'vibe' or something!?

Chris was noticably silent during that exchange. I realised he was all the way back at the stairs, sitting silently. I ran over to him.

"Hey, dude, we should get going." I looked at the clouds, "It's going to rain."

He shook his head, "Sit".

I complied and sat down next to him.

"Let's take a look at this sketchbook, shall we?"

"Chris, no, if it rains, they'll get all ruined.."

He shook his head, smiling, "It doesn't matter, these are only for you anyway."

He had piqued my curiosity, so I pulled out the sketchbook. Even though Chris was right there, giving me permission to open it, I still hesitated to do so. Chris had kept this to himself so adamantly over the years I'd known him, it felt weird to be finally looking at this book, about to open it.

"Oh.." I said as I opened it to the first page.

In the book were sketches, each one dated, starting from pretty much the time we first were friends, back at the beginning of high school.

The sketches were of us, always in the same pose, embracing each other and kissing. They were beautiful. The first page, we were young, barely into our teens. As I progressed through the book, we got older. Always the same, always kissing each other. He loved me.. and for so long.. and I had no idea. Not a fucking clue.

Eventually I got to the end of the sketchbook. The final sketch, and the only one he did this year. It was of us, yet again, but this time, not in school uniform, for the first time. We were standing outside the Yasuda Auditorium at Toudai, once again in that same familiar embrace, kissing passionately.

The rain came down almost immediately then, forming little droplets that made the light shading he had done on the top of the drawing clump together like rainclouds.

Chris took the sketchbook from me, and said, with a wry smile, "I was hoping, maybe, this final sketch would come true, for once."

I stood up, and he stood up too. And I looked at him, at his eyes. The rain had started to pour, and we were getting soaked.

Suddenly Chris lunged forward and kissed me, gripping me in a firm embrace. I instinctively wrapped my arms around his back as he pulled his lips away.

I felt him heaving and sobbing, his head buried into my shoulder, the rain mixing with our tears as he held on to me as if for dear life.


And that's all for this chapter. Only one strand furthered in this chapter. More on the other strands soon.

JAPANESE PHRASES USED IN THIS CHAPTER (which did not have inline english)

Hai - Yes

Iie - No

Wakarimashita - Understood

Soo desu ka - Is that so?

Ohayoo Gozaimasu - Good morning (respectful)

Chotto matte kudasai - Wait a little, please


I absolutely love feedback. Please submit your feedback, good or bad, lengthy or brief, in Japanese or in English, (although preferably English) to:

sakurakangen@gmail.com

You may also add me on Google Talk at the same address. I love talking to you.

Doumo arigatou gozaimashita.

-SK (written in vi improved 7.2.. beats emacs any day)

Next: Chapter 11


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