Here it is, Chapter 8. A few of you told me that 7 was short. Sorry about that! I hadn't realized that it was any shorter than the other ones. But at any rate, I don't divide my chapters by size, but rather by subject and content. So this one is a little short too then proabably. Hope it's worth the wait though.
I pulled up in front of my house to find my Dad outside cutting the lawn. "Hey, 'Ron!" He calls me that all the time. It's short for Aaron, as if Aaron is so long that it needs a nick name. "Hey Dad," I answered back, "when you get a sec, can you come in? There's something I want to talk to you and Mom about." "Uhh... sure," he said, sounding surprised. I'd never really done anything like that before. No "official" conversations. "Just give me a few minutes until I can get the rest of this front done." I nodded, passing him as I strode into the house, more determined than ever.
The front door of my house opened into the living room, where my Mom sat reading the newspaper. She looked up and smiled at me, then glanced at her watch and back at me. "Hi baby! I thought you'd be back in the morning," she said, sounding more concerned than scolding. "Oh, well we slept in a bit. Then Zack made breakfast." She smiled, as if satisfied by my explanation, and went back to her paper. I made my way to the kitchen and stood there, trying to catch my breath. I got a glass of water so it didn't look weird that I had gone to the kitchen. The words just kept running through my head. I had practiced them for a few years. I just didn't know it would be this soon that I would be saying them. I heard the front door shut, snapping my conviction back into place. I took a deep breath and went back out to the living room, where my Dad had sat down on the love seat next to my Mom.
I chose the single chair across the room from where they were sitting. Thank goodness they had left me the side of the room near the door. I had an exit, in case I needed to get out of there. "I have to tell you guys something," I began. "I'm not sure how you're going to take it, but please at least hear me out before you say anything." Both of them nodded. That was a little reassuring, that at least they were going into this conversation with open minds. "Well, first I want to ask you a question. Last night, before I went to Zack's house, did you love me?" I scanned the expressions on their faces as they both muttered their affirmatives. "Good, because I'm the same person now that I was last night, right?" My Dad nodded, but my Mom looked like I had just lost her. "Aaron, what is it? Just tell us," she pleaded, her voice consumed by concern. I closed my eyes and took another deep breath. "Mom, Dad... I'm...gay." I couldn't believe I just let myself blurt it out like that. I opened my eyes, reluctantly. The look on my Mom's face is one I will remember for a lifetime. Her eyes were wide open, as well as her mouth. Pardon the expression, but you could have knocked her over with a feather. My gaze shifted to my dad who had more of a pensive look on his face. It seemed like he was already beginning to digest the information I had just thrown at him.
There was a long, awkward silence. No one said anything. No one moved or looked directly at anyone else. I needed to break the silence and get them talking. "Well?" I asked, not really sure what to expect. "Well..." my Dad said standing up. He started pacing back and forth between his seat and the coffee table. "How long have you been this way?" Just like my Dad, think things out logically. I was glad he didn't involve emotions though, my Mom would be emotional enough for the three of us! "Since I was born Dad, but I figured it out when I was twelve," I answered, trying to sound as composed as possible. "I see," he said matter-of-fact-ly, "are you sure?" I almost giggled at that one. How can you not be sure if you're gay or not? As absurd as the question was, I knew I had to stay serious about it. I didn't want to make them any more uneasy about this than they already were. "Yes Dad, I'm sure," I said confirmingly. Another silence enveloped the room, as my Dad returned to his steady amble back and forth in front of the love seat. Suddenly he stopped, looked at my mother, whose expression had little change, then at me. "Can you give me a hand with this mower outside, Aaron?" he asked, his facial expression telling me that's not what he really wanted.
I followed him outside. To my great surprise, he turned and embraced me in the biggest hug I think he had ever given me. "You know that your mother and I have always supported your decisions," he began. "I can except you for who you are, and I still love you just as much as I ever have. Your mother is going to take some time to come to terms with this though, so you're going to have to give her her space and some time to adjust. She'll be OK though. She loves you as much as I do, and nothing will change that. I'll talk to her." I smiled at him and hugged him again. "Thanks Dad, I love you too." "Why don't you go out for a bit while I try to bring your Mom back to reality," he suggested. "Oh, yeah. I've got to work from 2:30 until 6 anyway." "OK, we'll talk about this more when you get back. Hopefully she'll be coherent enough by then to carry on a discussion." I nodded at him and smiled, then headed for my car.
I got in the car, relieved that I had finally gotten it off of my chest. I was still worried about my Mom though. I thought that my Dad would have taken it harder than my Mom. Boy, he really surprised me. He was really cool about it though. I suspected the complete opposite. I figured my Mom would be the one to talk sense into my Dad. I ran through that scenario in my head while I drove to work. I compared it to the scene I had practiced hundreds of times beforehand. It hadn't turned out the same. Somehow I had planned to be more dramatic, and work in a lot of suggestive things before I actually came out and said it. Now that I thought about it, I'm glad my Mom had forced it out of me. The dissertation that would have been coming to them would have only made them more uneasy and nervous about what I had to say.
I pulled into the parking lot at the supermarket where I worked. I suddenly realized that I hadn't changed clothes from the day before. I had only worn them to Zack's house, and not for long, might I add. So at least no one would notice. I had bathed too. I guess I was alright. It was going to be a long 3-and-a-half hours though!
Around 4:30, Zack strolled into my 'kitchen,' as I like to call it. I was so happy to see him! The salad bar hadn't really been busy that day, and I was working ahead for the next day, so I decided that it would be OK if I took a break. I grabbed my soda and headed for the break room, Zack tailing me. I checked out the room when we got in, to find it unusually empty. I turned around and quickly kissed Zack hello, knowing that we had to be careful. We sat down, and I started talking. "I told them," I declared simply. "Who and what did you tell them?" he asked quizzically. "My parents," I said. "I told my parents that I'm gay." Zack looked surprised, but a happy sort of surprised. "Really? What did they say?" he asked. "Well, my Dad was fine about it. He was taken by surprise at first, but he told me that he still loved me and that he could accept it and all of that. My Mom didn't take it so well though. I'm not sure how she is yet, but she didn't say a word when I told her. She just sat there with her eyes and mouth wide open until I left for work."
"Listen," I continued, "if you're not doing anything tonight, and my Mom is doing better, do you want to come over for supper so you can meet them?" "Sure," he responded. I was a little surprised that he was so quick to respond. I knew that it was going to be a little awkward. I'm sure he had to realize it too. "OK baby, well I should get back to work soon. I'll call you after I get home and let you know what's going on, OK?" "Great," he said. He smiled and leaned in to give me a quick kiss.
I got home at around 6:15 and walked in the door to the sight of my Dad sitting on the couch. When he saw me, he stood up. I could tell he had been waiting for me. "Your Mom is sleeping he said. She's doing much better. I think she's going to be just fine. Why don't you go talk to her?" he suggested. I nodded, as I started toward the stairs. I got to her room and knocked softly on the door before opening it. "Mom?" I asked. "Hi sweetheart," she said in a soft, somber voice. That made me feel better right away. "Hi Mom, how are you feeling?" "Oh, I'll be OK. Really. Of course it's going to take some getting used to, but I still love you. You didn't ever doubt that, did you?" I smiled, "No Mom. I didn't doubt that at all."
After a few silent seconds I continued, "So do you want to meet my boyfriend?" "You have a boyfriend?? What's his name?" she asked, actually sounding happy for me. "Zack," I responded. "I spent the night at his house last night. He's a junior. I was thinking I'd invite him to dinner tonight if you want to meet him." "That sounds great," she said. I smiled as I got up and left the room. My Dad had been standing in the hallway, waiting to hear the verdict. "How'd it go?" he whispered. I shot him a smile and a thumbs up. He smiled back. "She says I can invite him to dinner tonight too," I added.
"Him?" he asked. "Zack, my boyfriend." "Oh, you have a boyfriend?" he asked, sounding just as happy for me as my Mom had. I nodded. "Anything special you want me to cook?" "Whatever you want to cook will be fine, Dad." He usually cooked on weekends, so that my Mom could have a break.
I went to my room to call Zack and tell him the good news. I told him that I'd be by to pick him up after I got a shower and changed. "Are you sure you want to go through with this?" I asked. "It's going to be tough. It's a first for everyone involved." "You took care of the tough part Aaron, the least I could do is show up for supper." I giggled. "Ok, I'll be there in about half an hour to pick you up. See you then, sweetie." "OK, I love you."
"I love you too," I responded.
Well? What did you all think? I'll bet some of you are wishing that coming out to your parents were that easy. Well those are my plans for when I actually tell my parents. I highly doubt that it will turn out that way, but it would be nice.
Keep the emails coming: Recklissmind@aol.com
Love ya'll, Ryan