This story is a work of FICTION. And, it is also copyrighted, I suppose. So please, give credit where credit is due. Flames will be ignored. Enjoy.
I hailed a cab to Nick's house, knowing that that's where he would go. After paying the driver the little remaining money I had, I walked in, startled to see the entire family home already.
"Hi, Ryan," Aaron piped up. "How was the audition?"
I smiled. "What are you doing home?"
He rushed over and tackled me. "We've all been there before, and when we saw Nick being chased by a mob, Mom thought it was time for us to leave. So, we've been trying to wait around while you finished the audition."
I laughed and forced him off me. "Jeez, Aaron! You're awfully hyper!"
He bounced a little. "No, I'm not!"
Nick walked in from the next room and saw me still lying on the floor.
"Thanks a lot, man," he said glumly. I looked up at him questioningly. He turned around to show me that his shirt was ripped in a lot of different places, and so were his shorts, exposing his boxers to anyone behind him. I doubled over laughing, and growling, he jumped on me to get revenge for setting the mob on him in the first place. I yelped as his hundred-and-fifty-or-so-pound body landed on me. The temptation to kiss him then and there was unbearable, and I saw it in his eyes, as well, but we both held back. There really wasn't any other choice, especially after Mr. And Mrs. Carter stepped into the room to see what all the commotion was about.
I was trying to get out from under Nick, but I just couldn't do it; he outweighed and outmuscled me. Everyone was laughing, which made me start laughing, too. At one point, my hand got caught in Nick's torn shirt and got all tangled up, so that no matter how hard I tried to move him off of me, when I'd pull my hand back towards me to get it out of his shirt, I also pulled him right back on me! Now, under normal circumstances, this would have been a really nice situation for me-my hand inside his shirt, him on me, me pulling him into me, everything. But it seemed at that time that fate was trying my willpower, and I knew that if it went on for too long, I'd completely lose control. That would be bad.
So with a loud ripping sound, I tore my hand out from his shirt and shoved him off me, finally. Everyone was laughing so hard they were having trouble breathing, and, now that I was free, I was able to laugh at the mental image of what we looked like.
My phone started ringing, and, playfully shoving Nick aside, I rushed upstairs to my temporary room to answer it.
"Hello?"
"Ryan? It's Justin, man, how are you?"
"Hey, Justin! It's good to hear from you. I'm doing all right. How's the tour?"
He sighed. "It's finally over. We're heading back now. I was just calling to let you know I'd be in town in a couple of days. You know, if you want to do something."
I smiled, even though he couldn't see me. "Of course, man. It sounds cool. I think I'll be free enough," I kidded.
"Great!" He couldn't hide the excitement in his voice. But there was something else, too. I couldn't quite place it. "Let me know if there's anything in particular you'd like to do."
"I will. Tell everyone 'hi' for me, okay?"
"No problem. See you then."
"Later. And Justin?"
"Yeah?"
"Thanks for calling, man. It's good to hear from you."
I could almost see the smile over the phone. "You're welcome. I like talking to you."
"I know. Sorry if it seems I'm cutting you short. I hate the phone."
"I understand. We'll be able to talk when we get together."
"Right. Thanks again, J."
He laughed. "You're welcome. Bye."
"Bye." I hung up the phone, thinking about the last time I'd felt as strange as I did just now. I couldn't understand why I felt so weird talking to Justin. It didn't feel like excitement or love, or even lust. I just hoped that we could still be friends either way. God knows I didn't have many friends. And even I wasn't sure if it was love, or if I was meant to find love in the first place.
I closed my eyes in a silent prayer. I let all of my energy flow around me until I felt like I was almost glowing. My amulet felt very heavy all of a sudden, and I let it seem to drag me down. After sitting slumped, boneless, for a few minutes, I tensed up every muscle I could and held it until my whole body shook from the exertion. Then I released them and slumped again, this time, even more relaxed. The whole time, I cried out to God, looking for an answer. I had already asked and been given so much, was this to be my sacrifice for it all? Even when my own future was uncertain?
I called out in fear, I called out in despair. I called out suing for pardon and love. I begged for knowledge and help. I cried for fairness and surety. I cried. All my energy that I had built up evaporated from around me. I cried. All my self-confidence and wit flowed out of me. I cried. All my sarcasm, pain and loneliness made themselves known. I cried. And finally, I felt peace. And suddenly, I remembered two things: the first was an old prayer called "Footprints," and the second was a song I learned from my Catholic grade school days. Still crying, but more able to focus, I croaked out "You shall cross the barren desert...but you shall not die of thirst. You shall wander far in safety...though you do not know the way. You shall speak your words in foreign lands...and all will understand. You shall see the face of God...and live...be not...afraid. I go before you always. Come, follow me...and I will give you rest.
"If you pass through raging waters of the sea, you shall not drown. If you walk amid the burning flames...you shall not be harmed. If you stand before the power of hell...and Death is at your side...know that I am with you...through it all. Be not...afraid. I go before you always. Come, follow me...and I will give you rest..."
My crying stopped, and I realized that I didn't need to be scared of what might happen because I already had the talents I would need to be successful. I only had to look around. I only a few months of effort, I had job interviews, entrance into the school I really wanted to go to, strength enough to live on my own, and friends-old and new-to help me to do it. I wiped my eyes and looked around. I'm normally a stable person, and I didn't want Nick or anyone else to walk in and see that I was crying. They'd want to think Justin made me cry, or else that I'd just cracked under the pressure. And I didn't want their questions, because I wasn't sure why it happened, either. But I felt much better after that and went back downstairs.
"So, who was it," Nick asked me.
"It was Justin," I told him. "He called to let me know that they just finished the tour and to see if I wanted to do anything with him and the other guys when they got back."
"And what'd you tell him?" He looked at me rather strangely, his right eyebrow arched and his lips pursed.
"That I'd really like to." I looked at him more closely. "Why? Something wrong?"
"No, no," he answered quickly. "I was just wondering. What are you going to do? And when?"
"I dunno. He said he'd call when he was back and we could all talk about it. Anything you wanna do?" He started. "Me?" I shrugged slightly. "Well, yeah. Why not? I mean, he didn't say you couldn't come or anything."
His smile appeared suddenly and grew as each word sunk in. "So you want me to come along, huh?" He gave me a sidelong glance which rather implied something...different.
"Oh yeah," I replied in my sexiest, most seductive voice (and I don't have one, so don't try to imagine it). "I don't want you more than a couple feet away from me at any given time."
He stared. "Seriously? You're joking, right, Ry?"
I laughed lightly. "Not at all," I assured him. "I mean every word."
His mouth literally dropped, and I couldn't prevent my laughter from spilling out. He looked way too funny.
"Hah! I knew you were joking."
"Not at all, love," I answered, still laughing, "it's just you look so funny like that. You're like a cartoon!"
And that made Aaron and his siblings laugh, too. Angel pointed at Nick and made the funniest faces possible, which sent us into even more laughter. He got a hurt look on his face, and I gave him a quick hug and a peck on the cheek. "Look, bro, don't let it bother you. You'd make a cute cartoon." Then I smirked. "Just not one that I'd watch!"
He punched me lightly in the arm, and I punched him back. Then we went outside to go swimming. All in all, it was a very enjoyable day. For me, at least. I kept my word to Nick, though, and didn't leave his sight or even get more than a few feet away from him for the rest of the day. We thought it was funny, but Nick is a person who likes his privacy. When we swam, I was right there, usually dunking him. When we came inside to dry off, I followed him into his room when he wanted to change, and he couldn't get rid of me. "You've seen me, and I've seen you in your boxers, anyway. What's the problem," I asked when he complained. He muttered and quickly dropped his navy blue and green swimming suit. I completely yelled at myself for not getting romantically involved with Nick when I had the chance one I saw him naked. His ass was very firm-a perfect bubble-butt, and his dick was perfectly proportioned, topped by a light covering of blond hair. I nearly shot in my shorts: it took all of my willpower not to say or do anything out of the ordinary until my arousal disappeared.
Once it did, I continued to dog him throughout the day: in the house, outside, even in the bathroom. Finally, he got tired of trying to avoid me, and after we finished watching a movie, said he was going to bed. Immediately, I got up and followed him up the stairs to his room. I smiled sweetly at him as he resignedly undressed for bed. I did the same, until both of us were in our boxers-mine were black-and-white plaid, and his were light blue with green waves. "So where are you going to sleep, if you're not going to your room," he asked me, figuring that now I'd leave him alone.
I smiled again, very sweetly, knowing I was annoying the shit out of him, and patted his bed. "I'm good, thanks."
He smiled a big smile. "Does that mean..."
I cut him off. "No." His smile fell. "I'm sorry, Nick, but as much as I really want to, I don't think it would be a great idea. I mean, it really might screw up our friendship, and I don't want that. You're like my brother now, man. Would you do that stuff with Aaron?"
THAT got his attention, and he just flopped into bed. I lay down beside him, shoving him a little. "Move over," I told him playfully. In response, he grabbed the sheets and covers and rolled with them, yanking them off me. "Hey!" I yelled, but his muffled laughter got me started. I grabbed the sheets, trying to pull them back over me, but he fought me. It was a tug-of-war game until we finally got the covers back where they were originally and went to sleep. My dreams were all really of Nick, questioning if I'd made the right choice. I had to tell myself that I had.
Aaron, getting up in the middle of the night to get some water, decided to take a peek and see how far I'd taken my irritating of Nick. He slowly opened the door, and saw the two of us lying in Nick's bed together. A quick "gulp" and a few tears later, he was back in bed, disappointed that I had seemingly chosen Nick over him. -Why can't I ever get anyone-he thought. -It's not fair, Nick always gets the cute guys- and he, too, fell asleep, although he tossed and turned a lot, as his dreams were of Nick and me having sex, not him and me.
Around 3am, I woke up, feeling definitely a little strange at being in someone else's bed. I've done that before as a joke, but I never had feelings for the person, and I wondered if I'd screwed up. Sighing, I went back into my room to think and to write a little bit. My novel wasn't coming along very quickly-being only 20 pages long, but I didn't think I could accomplish very much with it. I reached into my bag and pulled out two candles I always had with me-a black candle that smelled like complete darkness, and a rose-red candle with the scent of cherry. I lit them, first the red, then the black, and placed them on either side of my computer while I sat in the chair at the desk to contemplate my feelings. I had to know if something good or bad was going to happen. I was scared and uncertain as to which way my life would go.
I closed my eyes, just like I had before, but this time, I focused my thoughts more on Nick and Aaron and Justin. I had to figure out what I needed, what was right for me. I had to make some decisions, and I already knew that they were going to be painful. I didn't want to think about it, but I knew I had to. Yet, my mind started wandering, so I flipped my MP3 player on at random. "Prayer" began to play:
"No-stay...I don't care what you've said or done. Don't go away. Not now when life has just begun...Come back! And be the woman who I knew...help me to believe in you...what on earth am I to do?
"She's gone. This vision who was not quite real...I must move on...despite the pain, the pain will heal. Oh Lord...how could you let me love like this? No one dies upon a kiss...and only fools believe in bliss...
"Oh yes! God knows I am a fool...a man deluded by his wife...a figure ripe for ridicule...who's lived a vain and use...less life. So be it then! I'll play that game! I do not give a tinker's damn! I'll be a fool...it's all the same...it truly doesn't matter what I am!
"God, no! I'm broken but I'm still alive...and...slow...ly...I will feel my soul revive...with time...I'll find a way to right this wrong...if it takes my whole life long...Lord I'll fight my battles all alone...but make me...strong!"
Opening my eyes suddenly, I got a strange chill. Was this just random, or did it mean something...?