Written by: Feist E-mail: feistontibia@gmail.com
---------------------DISCLAIMER-------------------- This story will eventually contain sexual acts between underage males. It will also contain strong language, violence and graphic details. If you are underage, stop reading now. If you live in an area where any of these before mentioned acts are illegal, stop reading now. If you're offended by existentialist views, or sexual acts between male teenagers, stop reading now. If this does not apply for you, enjoy reading! ---------------------DISCLAIMER--------------------
CHAPTER 7
The last two classes were deadly tiring. Not because we had so much to do, but because we actually had nothing to do AT ALL. I just sat there looking out of the window, thinking about Terry. It's unnatural that something can stay in my head for this long. Not even a hard test can stress me out like this. I just wanted the answer to what I was feeling. Did I love Terry? Did I just want a friend, and saw him fit? It literally drove me crazy. I wish I could just... switch off my head, or be able to press certain buttons for certain feelings. Later in life, I'm going to invent that. I'm sure I'd win the Nobel prize.
Almost five hundred years later, the bell rang. OK, two hours, but it could've been five hundred years as well. The teacher definitely looked like if she were five hundred, voice and all. I had already gathered all my stuff and was the first one to leave class. I hurried myself through the crowds of kids over to my locker, to dump all the books I didn't need. Luckily no teacher gave me any homework today so I decided to just leave everything here. It was also that, for some reason, I hoped Terry would be at my locker. I don't know why he would be, but...Please hit me with something hard and blunt. This cannot go further this way. I'll have to find something to distract myself and not stumble over issues like love. It's not worth it, it always proves not to be. I shut my locker door louder than normally, and walked off, getting mad at myself. I had a funeral to attend to, and all I was worrying about was some stupid good looking boy, who also happened to be very nice, and friendly... Hit me again, for Christ's sake! Just stop thinking or something, it's not doing me any good. I ran out of the school, bumping into all kinds of people. I heard some loud shouts coming from behind, and knew some people wouldn't be too happy with me. It didn't matter to me though, I just needed to get away from this place. This place just fucked up my brain too much, flooding me with all kind of boxed-wise thinking. I didn't need any of that. I was trying too hard to escape it for my own good. When I got home, it would all be over.
When I left the building I saw my grandma's car already standing near the gates, so I walked over there with quick paces, opened the door and stepped in. I turned my face away immediately, staring out of the window.
"Hello yourself too," my grandma said, raising her voice a bit. "What's happened to you, running out of school like if you're being chased by Satan himself?" she asked, some irony in her voice.
"It's nothing, school was just boring.." I replied, not wanting to go into detail. "How's mom doing?" I asked her, but still only watching outside
"I want you to look at me when you speak Damian," she started, and I already didn't feel like it anymore. I turned my head inside the car and took notice of her. "Your mother is doing pretty well, compared with yesterday. The doctor says that her mood shifts might return, but he's not able to say if and when they will." she said, getting friendlier again. I was glad with this news, I knew my mom would be alright, and then it would just be me and my mother again. I also knew that after the funeral, things would be completely different in our house. Completely.
The drive home was chaotic because of all the traffic. At some point while we were driving, my grandma ran a red light.
"Grandma!," I said shocked, "Didn't you see the red light!?" I almost had to laugh now.
"Oh my god! A red light? No, I didn't see any red light at all!" she said. She then did the most ridiculous thing ever. She stopped the car and drove back, to wait for the red light. Now I have seen a lot of weird things in my life, but my grandma was of course able to surpass them.
"What'd you do that for..?" I asked her, after which she looked over to me with a stern look in her face.
"Damian, running a red light is a very dangerous thing to do. Promise me you'll never do it" she said
"Ehm..fine, I wont grandma. Good thing you drove back, with all the cars crossing from different angles and such.." I said, and decided to let the subject drop. We waited for almost a minute before the light turned green, after which we continued home.
When I walked into the living room I saw my mother watching a DVD. I had to look for a few seconds to see what it was, but didn't recognize it. It was a drama however, and I really didn't understand my mother wanted to look at something like that now. It was exactly like here though. She'd fall asleep in every good movie, except a drama. The movies my mother liked had story lines that went as follows: a husband cheats on his wife with the neighbours daughter, who happens to be the cousin of the wife's grandmother. After the divorce, the mother will then find true love with the other neighbour's son, who actually is the bastard son of the local mayor. This mayor has another son dying of some funny disease, which is why he flips out and starts to kill his whole family. And for bonus points, the transsexual dog from the cousin of the mayor gets run over by a truck. Don't ask me.
I studied my mom for a while. She had a box of tissues standing next to her, a glass of wine in her hand and a bag of chips next to her. She was completely drawn into the movie, and didn't even notice me walking towards her. I sat down beside her on the couch, and softly touched her shoulder. She nearly jumped up from this, and immediately turned her head to look at me.
"Damian! So glad to see you, how was school today?" she said, completely forgetting about the movie. Her voice was just a bit too happy than I would expect it to be, so I knew something was up. I scanned the room a bit, and saw the bottle of wine standing next to the couch. It was almost empty, maybe a few drops left.
"Did you drink that whole bottle..?" I asked her, curiosity in my voice. I knew my mom liked a glass of wine, but a whole bottle? And she hadn't even been home by herself very long before my grandma came to pick me up.
"This whole bottle? What are you talking about, of course I didn't take the whole bottle!" she said, after which she just wove the glass of wine through the air, as to put strength to her words. Half of the glass spilled over her clothes though, so I knew how far it was then. I stood up and walked to the kitchen, where my grandma was boiling some water for the spaghetti.
"Grandma..I think mom had a bit too much to drink.." I said, a slightly concerned tone in my voice. My grandma looked at me for a bit,put down her spoon and walked outside of the kitchen. I followed her to see what was going to happen.
"Helen, what's this? Did you drink that whole bottle in the time I went to pick up Damian...?" she said, and it was obvious she didn't want any lies.
"Mom, of course I didn't! Your just believing him aren't you? Well, he's just a boy, I'm a grown up responsible woman. I would never just drink that whole bottle. See? There's still some left!" she said, picking up the bottle and showing the last bits in it. My grandma shook her head and walked over to her to grab the bottle.
"I think that's enough for today Helen...We'll be having dinner in ten minutes and I expect you to be there. Conversation was over, something in my grandma's way of speaking demanded obedience.
I helped my grandma putting everything on the table, and couldn't wait to eat. I was starving! I walked to my mother and told her we were going to have dinner. She looked at me like if I were mad, as if I just told her the most outrageous thing.
"Dinner? At this time? Aren't you supposed to be in bed by now? You see, this always happens when my mom shows up. You stay up way too late, it's like what, eleven already?" she asked, looking at me in disbelief. I didn't know how to respond and just told her that I came home somewhat late and that dinner was a bit postponed. "Fine then, but after dinner, it's straight to bed young man!" she said, her voice reeking of wine and alcohol. She stood up and tried to walk to the table. My mom never drank a lot, so having had one bottle was more than enough. She swayed her way towards the table, grabbing objects in her way like chairs to keep her on her feet. I quickly came up to her and put her arm around me. We walked to the table together, and I put her in the chair she normally sat. My grandma followed shortly, coming out of the kitchen with a big pan of spaghetti. She sat down and started to divide the food. "Mom, couldn't you wait for George again? He's about to get out of work now" my mom spoke, and immediately my whole attitude changed. I had been happy for a big part of the day, until I went thinking about love. I was partly OK when I got home, even my mom being drunk wasn't so much of a problem. But her forgetting about my dad dieing was something I just couldn't deal with. This just had to stop.
"He's dead! He's killed himself in a car accident, and he's NOT coming back!" I shouted, looking at my mom furiously. I had no idea where the sudden rage came from, but it definitely needed to get out. "He's not coming back, and you know it! Now quit the bullshit and eat!" I followed then, and hit my fists on the table. I didn't look carefully though, and smashed my spaghetti filled plate. I felt that I had cut my hand, but the blood was mixing up with the sauce so it wasn't that visible. I stood up and cursed myself. I went to the kitchen, put my hand under the sink and saw the cut wasn't particularly deep. It was just an annoying pain searing through it. I put a band-aid on it and went back to the table and sat down again... Wow, that was quite a relieve. Everyone on the table was silent as the grave. My grandma looked at me with a blank expression on her face, and my mom looked like if she had just had her eyes poked out.
"...Honey, if your dad sees that you.." my mom started, but that was the final drop. I threw away my chair whilst standing up, turned around and angrily went to my room. I knew my mother probably couldn't help it, but I just couldn't face her denial anymore. Friday my dad would be buried, and it was now Wednesday already. It was about time she came to her senses. I decided to just boot up the PC to check my mail and my small speech. I knew it wasn't anywhere near perfect, but it had to do. At least everything was there, and that should be enough.
I opened up my e-mail client and saw a new mail from Dennis. I must've stared at the name for a few seconds, thinking why he would suddenly mail me. When I clicked the mail it started to unfold and I read it.
"Damian, I have just finished scanning the notes I took from class the other day. I thought that you needed them perhaps, so I put them through a picture editor to make the text somewhat more visible and read-able than it was before. It's seven pages, and really interesting stuff really! Well, I'll see you in class tomorrow, that is, if you're coming? Anyway have a nice evening and see ya later, Dennis"
It really was a cool thing of him to do, thinking back of it, I hadn't remembered anything from that class. Everything the teacher said just completely flew by me. I also had to laugh that he send in seven papers, while I was sure three would've done fine too. But that's just how he was, a good student. An adorable good student. Wow, that was my second personal mail in..a week! It really does need someone to die to get any attention doesn't it? But that's how life is I guess... luckily not all of the care was meant for me then, they just did it because they felt sorry for me. Tell you what though, I don't need pity. It's nice to get a mail with seven sheets of notes, but he wouldn't have done that in a normal situation either. I hit the reply button and send him a mail with my thanks in it, making it quick. I'd see him at school tomorrow anyway.
While it was only eight 'o clock, I decided it was late enough for me and just go to bed. I didn't want to have another run up with my mother, especially when she was being drunk. Sleep would do me good now, and that was exactly what I was going to get.
The next morning I woke up earlier than normal, which isn't weird considering my early bedtime. I took quite some time in the shower, and was gladly surprised my mom or grandma didn't complain about it. Normally my mom would've been shouting at the door, trying to not make me waste so much water. In my room I picked out something decent to wear, went downstairs and ate some breakfast. Today I'd just take the bus to school again, no need for my grandma to bring me. She did complain a bit though, telling me she could still bring me to school, but I made my decision already. She probably thought I still had some trauma going over the whole bus thing.
Ten minutes later I was waiting for the bus to come, and when it came I did get a bit nervous. I don't know where it came from, but just seeing this bus..like a few days ago, before it got crashed, gave me the creeps. I went inside though and sat near the front. If anything I would be able to make it out of there quickly. The whole bus drive was quite..nerve wrecking, especially at the place where the crash was. I felt like the whole accident was about to happen again; reaching out to the chair in front of me, but it wasn't necessary. This time, we didn't crash. Thank god.
At school everything was still the same, I looked for people that I knew and saw Dennis sitting on a bench. I walked over there, and once he saw me, he got excited immediately. I sat down next to me and put my bag down.
"Morning! Thanks for the notes Dennis, I think they might just come in handy." I said, putting on a happy face for him. He looked at me intently, probably happy with the acknowledgment for his deed.
"Oh! That! ..It's no problem really, anytime," he said, giggling nervously. "I thought I'd send them, you know, because you looked so...sad the other day. Are..are you alright now?" he said, looking at me hopefully. He was holding a pencil and twisted it around, all the time. He really was a nervous boy. I didn't really understand though.
"Yea, I'm a lot better. Thanks. But Dennis, don't mind me asking, what's with the pencil?" I asked him, trying to sound cool about it.
"Pencil? What do you..oh! yea, I know, it's just...I don't know, I'm just a bit nervous I guess." He said, now blushing furiously. What the hell was going on with him? He was blushing and giggling like..like a person in love, but how could that be the case here? I decided to let the subject rest for his sake, not wanting to embarrass him any further. Maybe he just didn't have a lot of friends and got nervous while speaking with someone. Very acceptable reason. I looked at my watch and saw there was about ten minutes left for class to start.
"Hey, you know, do you wanna grab lunch together later maybe?" I asked him nonchalantly. I didn't want him to think I was being weird about it. His reaction was one that I've never seen from just asking someone for lunch, at School for the matter.
"Wow! Lunch? Yea sure! That'd be cool, what time do you have lunch break? Oh...wait, we've got lunch together of course! Hehe, I'm weird like that sometime." he blurted out, and I really almost fell of the bench, taken aback by his response. It must've showed on my face, because he noticed it and immediately started to look worried. "Sorry, it's just that, normally people don't ask me for lunch. I always have lunch alone and..well, I just always had lunch alone..I'd like to go with you, if that's OK." he said, trying to push back his nerves. The boy was so incredibly cute, he couldn't even imagine. After he said this he looked back at the ground again, expecting a rejection or something. I just looked at him though, and tried to see him for what he was. He had short brown hair, with beautiful hazel eyes. There was something about hazel eyes that just made them 'pretty', you know? His were definitely gorgeous. It just...fitted with the rest of him. He had a slim waist, and you could see he still had a lot of phases to go through in puberty. I knew he was going to be really cute when this happened though, and that I couldn't wait to see what he'd turn into. Not that looking at him now didn't excite me. His whole aura had something..frail, cute and naive. It was very interesting to see, and every time I spoke with him, I began to notice it more. He had been looking at the ground long enough now, waiting for some reply.
"So, I guess I'll see you at lunch then, I'll wait for you in the cafeteria. Oh and what do you think about maybe Saturday? like, we were going to hang out you know.." I said, reminding my deal to him. He looked up again, and his face reddened even more than it had already
"Saturday's...fine! Yea, ehm, let's just go over that during..lunch,OK?" he asked, clearly not able to say too much about it now.
"OK then! See ya at lunch!" I said, and we both stood up and walked to our different classes. Seeing Dennis was becoming something I was looking forward to more than I thought I would. His nervous behaviour that was bothering me before, was actually quite cute. I also knew he couldn't be like that forever, and that he'll open up someday and just..chill out. And if not, then that wouldn't be bad either. I did ask myself though; was he like this around everyone else, or was it just me?
English class was the first class this morning, and I had all forgotten about it. How could that happen! I mean, Dario is going to BE there! He's actually sitting NEXT to me! How great is that? I almost felt privileged to have the most gorgeous, hot boy in this school sitting next to me, even CONVERSATING with me. I sat down in class and waited for the rest of the kids to enter the room. And that's when I saw him. The rest of the kids almost became a blur in his presence. It was like he was highlighted out of the picture, as in some kind of clothing commercial. He really knew how to make an appearance, and I was sure I wasn't the only one looking at him. The only male one, yes. He had his bag hanging over one of his shoulder and looked confidently into the room. He really knew people liked him, and he just loved having all the girls gaze up to him like that. He walked over to his seat, thus coming closer to me. He gave me a smile, threw down his bag and crashed down in the chair next to me.
"Hey dude, what's up? Feeling any better?" he asked, and to my surprise there was some real concern in his voice. I had to look for words before I Said them, since I didn't want to make a fool out of myself. It felt like if everything I could say would sound wrong though, not half as cool as he could bring it. He must think I'm such a dork.
"Hey, yea I'm good. Better than before at least, if you know what i mean" I said, trying to sound just as cool as him. It didn't work though, and I thought the conversation was over after this.
"I'm throwing this party since my parents are out of the country for business, you maybe, like to come?" he asked me. Oh my god, did he really just ask me that? Dario Worth, THE Dario Worth, asking me to come to HIS party? That would just..it had to be a mistake. There were going to be juniors, maybe even SENIORS, to a party like that! Everyone, even guys, like to be around him, unconsciously noticing his undeniable cool- and cuteness. What was I going to tell him? Calm down now Damian, don't freak out so much. You're not Dennis, and you definitely don't want to act like him. You've just been asked to one of the best party's this YEAR, and you're not going to do anything to make him revoke the invitation. I thought I was being quiet for too long now and decided to just talk.
"Sure, yea I'd love to come! So when is it?" I asked him, and was glad I didn't stumble over my words. OK, I could've said something cooler maybe, but I have nothing to complain so far. As long as I can go to his party!
"It's coming Saturday, starts around nine. If you want you can crash over, there's a lot of people doing so. Oh and," he said, now turning his voice into a slight whisper while moving closer to me, "We've got the booze settled, I've been able to get my sister to get it." he said, a devilish grin appearing on his face. He sat back again and just beamed. "So you'll be there then?" he asked, looking at me expectantly.
I had no idea why Dario would ask ME of all people to a party. Me, Mr. Unsocial, but I certainly didn't complain. "You bet I'll be there!" I said there, maybe a bit too happy for the mood I've been showing the last couple of days. I thought I saw him frown for a bit, but I could've been mistaken. The rest of the class went by with senseless talk about decayed writers, all of who brought "valuable input to the English Literature". Really, if I had to hear one more description about Holden Caulfield again, I was going to leave the room screaming.
The class was over quick though, and my mind was just at the party coming Saturday. That's when it made place for more serious matters again. My dad's funeral. The thought dawned on me like a bomb hitting it's target. Immediately my mood went downwards again, until nothing happy was left. Was I ready to say goodbye to him? Was my speech good enough for him, or did I even forsake him in this? Who was going to show up, who would be listening...Would there be any students or teachers coming? My mind flooded with all these questions, and I was actually happy when I got bumped in the shoulder, looked beside me and saw Terry walking next to me.
"Hey Damian! How's it going? Didn't think I'd see you here!" he said, his usual happiness hovering around him. It brightened me up a bit, and I was happy for the interference with my thoughts
"Rather good, I've been invited to this AMAZING party next Saturday! How about you?" I told him, the excitement dripping off of me.
"Oh that's cool, well, I'm holding up I guess. I spoke with Melissa today, which was quite cool." he said, beaming while mentioning her name. "So who's party is it?" He then asked, and got a rather curious look on his face.
"Dario Worth's party," I said, nonchalantly. He stopped walking and just stood there. I turned around, wondering what's up.
"Dude! You've gotta be kidding me! You're going to Dario Worth's party? He's like, THE popular guy in school! There's probably going to be juniors; maybe seniors! oh and..and.. maybe even Melissa is going!" He said, and was now practically jumping up and down. "Can't you ask him if I can, you know, join in too?" He asked, and I had to laugh from his reaction. I didn't really know how to tell no to such a cutie so just figured; why not.
"Sure, I can always ask him. I'll bet the house is going to be loaded; his parents are away on business trip so he's got the house all for himself." I said, now getting excited all over again.
"My god! really? It's going to be WAY awesome! I'll just BET you there'll be booze!" He said, and the sparkle that he normally had in his eye was even more attracting.
"Yep, his sister got the booze for him. Don't wanna know how much he had to pay her" I said, laughing. We walked around the corner and saw we were almost at our classes. This time he was in the room next to me. I just wished I could be in the same room as him, sitting as close to him as I sat next to Dario in English class. But that wasn't going to happen. I looked at him one more time before he walked into his classroom, took a deep sigh and walked into my own.
END OP CHAPTER 7
-----------------------------ATTENTION------------------------- Still; first of all I would like to thank everyone who took time to give me feedback. Since I've had so many mails for this story, I decided to start a MAILING-LIST. If you're interested in joining, just mail me to: feistontibia@gmail.com subject: mailing list Updates will be weekly, and you'll receive a mail when a story's up on nifty or if there's anything else. If you're interested in well-themed gay story's by my favourite author, look at: www.comicality.gayauthors.org Or go to the www.gayauthors.com homepage. I would gladly like to hear what Your opinion is in what I posted here. Feedback, no matter positive or negative, will be my main motivation to continue. And if you just feel like dropping down a friendly note, that's also fine! ------------------------------------------------------------------