This is a true story. It happened around 1961 at my first job out of high school.
I had strong gay feeling since I was a young boy of 8 or 9. I was brought up in a very large macho Italian, Roman Catholic family. Remember that it was an era when being gay or having such tendencies was almost a death knell within most American communities.
At 13 and 14 I did have a friend that got some of his uncles porno magazines and asked me if I would jerk off with him. We did this several nights for a couple of summers in his back yard under the Lilac bushes. I had a big cock around 7 inches at the time and his was small, around 4 1/2 to 5 inches. Both of us are uncut and I use to love watching him jerk off. He would never cum, however, because he rationalized that it was not a sin if he just jerked off and didn't cum. I wanted more, but it was not possible, He was str8 and I couldn't take the chance. We kind of parted when he and I went to different high schools.
After my high school graduation. I got this nice job in and electro-mechanical factory. I worked with a nice group of young guys and I was hot for a few of them. Looking at the bulges in all those chino pants and jeans gave me many nights of fantasies. I jerked off constantly. By that time my cock was over 8 inches.
One of the problems with me risking going further with any of these guys was that my brother worked with us.
One day when I was in the bathroom in a cubicle I noticed a shadow on the floor and I watched as the guy next to me jerked off. Without touching my cock I shot my load in the toilet. My hormones were raging.
The next day I watched to find out who it was and sure enough it happened again and I watched through the crack and saw it was one of my friends, Ron. Ron was a small skinny kid but he always has a bulge in his black slacks. He was friends with my brother and began to come to our house now and then. My brother got a girl and Ron and I became friends.
One night we were out driving around in his car. I had a boner all night but as usual suppressed it. I asked him to stop by the side of the road because I had to take a piss. When I got back into the car Ron said "I know you want what I want, but you have to make the first move". I was shaking inside but I couldn't muster up the courage to do anything. I fluffed it off with a joke pretending that I didn't know what he meant. Unfortunately for me, and maybe for the both of us he didn't make a move either.
A few weeks later he came up to my bench with an obvious hard on. He pressed his cock to the rim of my bench. He was breathing heavy and said, "I don't know what it is about you but every time I am with you I get a hard on". I just joked and said " You like me that is all". He said "it is much more than that"
There was silence, I was again confronted with revealing my feeling, and again I couldn't muster up the courage. I had gotten a raging hard on just contemplating the lust. Then he said to me, " I am going to tell you the highest compliment that any man can tell another man". I asked " what is that?" He said, " for you I would turn queer". I turned all red and fortunately one of his other friend came over to the bench and the pressure was off.
We never talked about it again. I later married and I learned that he also married. He married a girl that I use to go out with.
After I sign on to the Internet and I learned that there are so many men like me I thought I would look Ron up just to see if we still could have a friendship and maybe explore. But sadly I learned that he had died.
Ron, I hope you had a good life and I am sorry for not letting you know how I felt.
To all the young men reading this story I say, don't keep your feelings hidden. I now know that sometimes the risk is worth it
Don