Forever

Author's Notes --------------

So, I sat down this weekend and wrote about 50 pages of 'Forever'. I guess this means that the story will continue, at least for a bit. But, I make no guarantees of quality without the man himself as inspiration ;-)

I was told by one reader that it was rude of me to mention the fact that the story, as written on my computer, was somewhere around chapter 70 even though only chapter 43 (at that time) had been posted. I guess now it would be even more rude to point out that I hit 83 over the weekend?

And by the way, if you're lookin' for a good laugh, check out the 'fan reaction' page that was set up at MTV.com. It was a page they put out there for fans to post notes about Kev & Bri's impending nuptials. Some of 'em are hysterical.

Anyway, hope you enjoy. We're gettin' to some pretty emotional parts of the story. Hope they continue to maintain interest for a while.

I know you're all wanting to get to the story. So, without further ado...Enjoy!

Disclaimer ----------

The story contained here is entirely in the (possibly unbalanced) mind of its author. As much as I might like to bear Kevin's children (which would be nothing short of a miracle), I have no idea if he or any of the other BSB is actually gay. Now that Kevin's engaged, I have a good idea that he's not. If any of the BSB read this story and are offended, they should certainly exercise their right to free speech and e-mail me to complain all about it. Readers should enjoy the fantasy, but remember that reality may be (and probably is) dramatically different.

Don't read this little tale of love if you're too young where you live. Don't read this little tale of love if it's illegal where you live. If either of those two things applies to where you live, I recommend that you MOVE!!!

And now...'Forever'...

Chapter 44

It was over. I collapsed back into the chair, letting out a huge sigh of relief. Kev and I were settling into another one of those great VIP lounge areas, this one in Detroit. We had another hour to kill before our connection back to Tampa. But, we were finally on our way back home.

The airport was fairly quiet. There were only two other people in the lounge with us, each absorbed in whatever it was they were doing. Reading, from the look of things. It was late on a Saturday evening. Most people didn't travel on Saturdays since airlines typically offered discounts for a Saturday stay.

Nick and the other guys, including Tom, had already left Thursday night. Nick had wanted to stay, but I'd told him to head home. He and the other guys had blown almost a week of their time off hanging out at my folks' house. I felt kinda bad about the fact that they weren't getting to enjoy their time. So, I sent `em packing.

Tom had driven `em down to Minneapolis to catch their flight. Kev and I had, surprisingly, been able to arrange flights to Tampa from Bismarck. So, Kev had Tom head back with the other guys, too. There was little point in him sitting around, waiting for us.

I'd actually gotten into a bit of an argument with Kev on Thursday morning when the guys were making plans to go home. I'd wanted him to head back with them. He'd refused to go. I'm not even sure it was an argument, since it was basically me listing all the reasons he should go, and him just saying Nope' over and over. Stubborn bitch. Had to love im for it.

It wasn't that I wanted him to leave. I just felt a little guilty for all he'd had to put up with. And for leaning on him so much. I knew I would never have handled this week as well as I had if he hadn't been there. He was a pretty amazing guy.

The funeral on Wednesday had been...difficult. Not really any worse than I should've expected. Dad's family had all been at Gram's funeral. Those few who hadn't still been around during my fight with Dad had been filled in by everyone else.

The reactions to me being there were pretty mixed. Mom's family basically ignored me, although Grandpa did try the `homosexuality is a sin' lecture three or four times. He was a very devout Catholic, and having a gay grandson really WAS a burden on him. I figured he probably spent at least an hour a day praying for my soul.

Most of Dad's extended family took basically the same approach. I guess they must've figured if they ignored me, I wasn't really there. Frankly, it was cool with me. I had never really gotten along with them even when Dad was alive. Now, I didn't really feel much desire to try to maintain ties.

Unfortunately, Dad's brother and sister decided not to follow that route. We exchanged a LOT of words. I was a loser, I was immoral, I was the reason he was dead. Nothin' I was really surprised to hear. It shouldn't have hurt, but it still did.

Kev was incredible. That's pretty much the only way to describe it. During the day, he was just always...around. I don't think I was ever out of his sight for those three days. At night, he held me tight, trying to pull out the daggers that my `family' had shoved in during the day.

We kept our relationship pretty well hidden from the family. If they were around, then we held off of the PDA's. Actually, Nick and I were probably more affectionate than Kev and I. At least in sight of others. He was bein' his more goofy self that week. I guess he figured it would help me deal. And it did.

I never asked Kev to back off. But, in a way, I was glad that he did. I wouldn't put it past certain family members to use my relationship with him for their own purposes, either financial gain or just plain revenge. After the last year, I pretty much had no trust in any of them. Except Jer and Kris.

The funeral itself was actually pretty nice as funerals go. We managed to get a fairly warm day. Dad was buried on a hill with a nice view of the city. Not that a view really matters to someone who's dead, but I enjoyed it.

I stood behind and away from pretty much everyone. It was basically the same as during Gram's funeral. I felt little or no connection to these people anymore. I had no desire to stand with them.

Kev and the guys were the exception, of course. They stood by me, with Kev and AJ on my right, Nick, Brian, and Howie on my left. Kev took my hand almost immediately. When Nick noticed, he took my other hand. I guess he figured that it was ok if we were all doing it.

There was one pretty major surprise during the service. I hadn't known it beforehand, but Kris and Jer had asked the guys to sing. About halfway through the service, Nick and Kev dropped my hands. They all moved forward to stand by the minister. I must've looked surprised cause Kev gave me a small smile as Brian started.

The guys opened up and sang Amazing Grace'. A capella no less. I had managed to avoid tears up til that point. I couldn't once they began to sing. The hymn had always been a favorite of mine. I wasn't especially religious, despite Mom's desires during my upbringing, but I still thought it was a very beautiful song. It was even more so when these guys did it. I decided they'd better all be alive when I died, cause I wanted their voices singing me off to...wherever I was destined to be.

The guys gave me a `group hug' when they finished. It drew a few amazed stares from the crowd, especially those who actually knew who they were. I just thanked each of them. I was still trying to get my damn tears under control. I probably would've been ticked at them making me cry if they hadn't done it so well.

Once the funeral was over, everyone went back to the house. The place was packed with people. I spent most of my time on the patio. Sometimes I was sort of alone, just staring across the plains. Other times, Nick or one of the guys were there. Kev was always around. I couldn't always see him, but somehow I always knew he was there. It was pretty comforting, even if we couldn't be as close as I wanted.

I had a number of cousins there who were pretty young. And most of them were pretty big fans of the BSB. When they figured out who the guys were, they were awestruck. Actually, they were even a little in awe of me, cause I `actually know the BSB?!?!' as one screaming 10 year old girl said.

The cousins eventually talked the Boys into giving them an impromptu little show. They gathered together in the yard below the patio, so I ended up being able to see `em, too. Obviously, they couldn't do much without music and such, but they sang a few of their slower numbers, the songs that were ok to do a capella.

I watched the `concert' with a little smile on my face. It was pretty nice of the guys to do this. I knew that their fans could get a little overwhelming at times. I thought it was cool of them to do this for my younger family. Plus, it helped take their minds off of the more somber theme of the day.

Finally, everyone had left, and it was down to just those of us who were staying at the house. The worst of things was over. Or so I thought, anyway.

The legal wrangling with the lawyers on Thursday was a pain. I wasn't even sure why I was there. Lord knows I was NOT in the will. But, somehow, I got caught up in all the little bickerings going on.

Dad's sister actually had the brass balls to try to use me against my mother, claiming that it was her fault I was a deviant' and that DAD had had to go through what he did. Jer shut that down before I even had a chance to open my mouth. Frankly, I was too amazed that my aunt actually knew how to use the word deviant' in a sentence. She hadn't exactly inherited the family genes for intelligence.

We'd ended up staying in town longer than I'd originally planned. Kris had asked us to stay through Saturday. Jer was having problems adjusting, she'd said, and it made it easier on him if we were there. I wasn't really sure why that was, but I didn't have any objection.

Mom and I never did really talk the rest of the week. She didn't exactly ignore me. It was more that she was distracted. It was understandable to me, so I didn't really push anything. I figured she'd know where to find me when, or if, she wanted to.

Jer and I'd had a talk about her before we'd all taken off. He was gonna invite her to spend some time with him and Kris out in Montana. I thought that would do her some good. I didn't offer my place. I'd already told her that she needed to make the next move. Whatever that move was.

And then it was over. My father was now buried, my family was...on hiatus, and I was sitting in a lovely airport waiting for a late flight home. I felt Kev's hand on my wrist.

"Sweetie, you alright?" he asked, speaking quietly so the other occupants of the lounge couldn't hear.

"Yeah, Kev, I am. Just kinda goin' over everything, I guess," I replied, just as quietly. I looked around to make sure no one was looking. I slipped my hand into his. I was glad when he took mine and laced our fingers together. "And I was just rememberin' how great you've been this week. I don't have a clue what I would've done without you here."

"I'm glad I could be here for you, D, you know that," he said. "And you would've done the same for me."

"Yeah, I would've tried, anyway. Not sure I could've put up with what you did this week, though," I smiled. "My cousins can be a pretty tough audience." He chuckled.

"They were one of the toughest we've had, actually," he joked. "Very demanding."

I squeezed his hand, leaning back into the chair. I closed my eyes, relaxing completely for the first time in a week.

It was still hard to believe so much had happened. Less than 7 days ago, Kev and I had been in my bed in Tampa, relaxing and enjoying being together. Then, the world tilted for a few days. I felt like a different person.

I guess, in a way, I was. I'd worked through a lot of things that I'd been ignoring for a long time. My feelings about Dad, my arguments with Mom, and even the fact that I'd kind of ignored Jer rather than deal with any family.

And now, it was time to move on. But to where? I had a good job, nice home, good friends. And I had Kevin. Really, I had everything I needed to be happy in life. Except for a goal, a direction to travel.

"I don't know what to do now, Kev," I said quietly.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"I just...I'm not sure what direction to go, man."

"South?" he said, jokingly.

"Oh, very funny, little man," I said, poking into his side. "Ok, not THAT little," I tossed a smirk his way. He actually blushed a little before smiling.

"I was just kidding, sweetie," he said.

"I know you were, hon," I sighed. "I guess I'm just feelin' adrift here. Things have changed incredibly for me the last few months. You," I squeezed his hand again, "Dad dying, Mom being who- knows-what, the cross-country move. Guess I'm not sure where to take my life from here."

"Tell ya what, D," he began, "how's about we just get home tonight? Life's not going anywhere when we're not lookin'. There's plenty of time to figure out what happens next. Just take a little time to enjoy the here'n'now. The future'll still be around to worry `bout later."

I thought about what he'd said. He was right. Again. That tendency was starting to get disgusting. But, it was nice to have him around for these little revelations.

"Yeah, you're right. Guess I'm just thinkin' too much again," I said.

We sat for a while, talking about nothing really important. He gave me a little of what their schedule was gonna be like over the coming months, letting me know the score. They'd be pretty busy, but nothing like the last year or two.

We avoided talk of his `engagement' to Kari, and of his suspicions about Allen's efforts to keep us separated. I wasn't up for dealing with it, and I think he was probably just as glad to let it pass. For now, anyway.

They called our flight a few minutes later. An airline attendant came to fetch us. The airline had been pretty cool about helping Kev keep `incognito'. They let us board the flight last, taking our seats in first class. Kev had insisted on bumping me up again. Who was I to argue? Besides, I loved it when he was all forceful and take-charge.

The flight was actually nearly empty. We were on the last flight of the day, and not a lot of people were apparently interested in flying at this hour. Lucky for us, I guess. There were only a handful of other people in first class, and all of them were at least a row separated from us.

Once the lights had turned out and we were in the air, Kev reached over and grabbed my hand. I was surprised, to say the least. He'd been more and more loose about the PDA's the last few days. I was starting to worry a bit that someone was going to catch us. But, he never seemed to mind.

The attendant stopped by and asked what we wanted to drink. About the only look that I saw him give me when he noticed our hands was one of jealousy. Well, I really couldn't blame him. Kev was a hottie, of course. I just ordered a bottle of water. Kev got the same.

"He wants you, ya know," Kev's voice broke in on my thoughts.

"Huh?" was my very intelligent answer. "What're you talkin' about?" I'd obviously missed something.

"The way he was looking at you. He practically undressed you with his eyes, babe," he said. He obviously thought this was funny.

"Oh, you're full of it, man. The only thing he wants is to BE me, sitting here with you. He's jealous of me, not lusting for me," I said, brushing off his innuendo.

"Whatever, D, but I'm tellin' ya. He'd love to make you a member of the mile high club right now," he smirked. I couldn't believe how relaxed he was about this. Maybe I should change that.

"Jealous, little man?" I asked, deciding to play for a bit.

"Should I be?" he raised an eyebrow.

"Well," I began, pausing to look around for the steward, "he DOES have a pretty hot ass," I said, barely able to contain my laughter. I think Kev lost his sense of humor at that point.

"Oh, does he now?" he said in a somewhat strained tone. I couldn't help it anymore. I started laughing softly, squeezing his hand in mine.

"Kev, baby, he doesn't hold a candle to you. And, for the record, YOU were the one who started this little flirt talk, remember?" I needled him a little bit.

"Ok, so I did. You're right," he admitted.

"Well, I can't be right all the time like you are, but I do manage to do it once in a while," I smiled.

The attendant came back with our drinks then. I couldn't help but chuckle a little bit. To my surprise, the attendant just smiled back at me. And from the looks of things, Kev had been on the money where the guy was concerned.

Our eyes met for a second while we were laughing, and he very slowly dropped them down and back up my body. I quit laughing at that point. I didn't want him to think he was gettin' any from me. Kev made a point of clearing his throat.

The attendant quickly looked over at Kevin. I guess the stare o' death that Kev was givin' the guy got his message across. My hero once again.

I was starting to get pretty tired. We still had several hours left before we'd be home and in bed. I leaned over to the window and rested my head on the wall. I was trying to get some shuteye when Kev's voice interrupted me.

"Does this mean we won't be joinin' the mile high club this flight, D?" he asked softly. I popped an eye open and looked over at him.

"Well, if you really want to, Kev, I'll be glad to arrange a repeat performance of the other day," I said, perfectly serious. I looked him in the eye for a second.

"I s'pose that would probably be a little too much of a risk," he sighed. He glanced around to make sure no one was looking at us, then leaned over and kissed me. I opened my mouth and let him.

"You gonna try to get some sleep, then?" he asked when he'd pulled away.

"I guess. I don't usually have much luck with sleeping on planes," was my drowsy reply.

Kev hit the call button for the steward. My admirer came over a minute later. Kev asked him for some pillows. Well, what airlines like to pass off as pillows, anyway. The guy brought back four of `em. I guess maybe he was tryin' to get back on Kev's good side.

I reached over to grab a pillow, but Kev stopped me. He placed the pillows in his lap, then put his hand on my neck and started to lay me across him. I resisted.

"D, it's ok. It's dark in here with the cabin lights out. No one'll recognize me. If you want, I'll stay awake. If anyone looks like trouble, I'll wake you up, ok?" I stared at him for a minute, trying to make sure about it. He seemed fine, so I really couldn't argue.

I lay across the divider between us, my head just reaching the pile of pillows on his right leg. The first class seats on this plane had about a foot wide armrest between the seats. I shifted and turned my bod, working to get comfortable over the divider.

I eventually got settled into a fairly comfortable position, my head resting on the pillows in Kev's lap. I managed to put my arm under the pillows, resting it on the upper part of his thigh. He put his hand in my favorite spot, on the back of my neck. He gently stroked my neck as I finally drifted to sleep.

Chapter 45

"Dylan, sweetie, wake up," Kev's voice came into my dreams. I felt his hand shaking my shoulder. I snuggled closer to him, sliding my hand under his thigh and latching on to him.

"Just a few more minutes, Kevy," I whined. I heard him chuckle above me.

"Come on, D, we're about to land. The pilot's gonna turn on the lights soon. You need to be up," he said softly. I slid my hand further up his leg. I heard him gasp.

"You sure you want me to get up?" I said with a soft laugh.

"No, not really," his voice was suddenly strained, "but you need to anyway." I slid my hand off of him, sitting up and smiling at him.

We got ourselves arranged, seat belts fastened, tray tables up, all that good stuff. The plane landed a short time after I woke up.

The flight attendants kept everyone from rushing the door long enough for us to get off the plane. We were still working at keeping Kevin hidden from the masses. It was a little harder now that we were so close to his home turf, but we managed to get away with it.

We grabbed our bags and caught a cab outside the airport. I wanted to just snuggle up next to him and go back to sleep. I was still pretty tired. But, I didn't figure we needed to give our cabbie a floorshow, so I restrained myself.

We made it home in pretty good time. It was goin' on midnight, so traffic wasn't all that terrible. The Saturday night party crowd wasn't turning in quite yet.

Once we reached the house, I basically grabbed my suitcases and walked inside. Normally, I probably would've felt a little bad about leaving Kev to foot the bill. But, about all that was on my mind at the moment was more sleep. My comfy king-size was calling to me.

I managed to stumble up the stairs with my luggage. It took a minute to find my keys, but that gave Kev a chance to catch up to me. I managed to get the door unlocked, and we went inside. I just about fell on my face as I walked in. One of the cats had apparently been amusing herself with my shoes, since they were currently scattered in front of the door.

I let out a few choice swear words, letting her know just what I thought of her. And her damn parents, too. Kev seemed to find my tirade pretty funny. I was so thrilled that I could provide amusement for him.

He grabbed my arm, telling me to leave the suitcases alone and pulling me upstairs. I didn't really care to argue, since he was going where I'd wanted to be for a while now.

When we got to my room, I just fell over on the bed. Clothes, shoes, and all. I vaguely heard Kev chuckling at me through my stupor. I heard him moving around, but didn't bother to look.

Kev turned me over onto my back. He slipped my shoes and socks off, then shifted me up so I was sitting and took off my jacket and shirt. I started to fall back on the bed again, but he pulled me up so I was standing. He undid my belt and the buttons on my jeans as I stood there leaning on his shoulder. Judging by the naked shoulder I was holding, he'd already stripped down.

Once he'd gotten me out of all my clothes, he eased me back onto the bed again. I felt the other side shift as he crawled in next to me. I immediately turned over and wrapped myself around him, getting me another chuckle. He put an arm around me and stroked my back as I finally drifted into sleep.

Sunday dawned bright and sunny and beautiful. Fortunately, I got to miss that dawn cause Kev'd had the smarts the night before to shut the blinds. I'd always been one who preferred to see the dawn from behind my closed eyelids.

Unfortunately, the blinds couldn't drown out the fingernails-on- a-chalkboard screeching currently drifting up the stairs at me. I guess her majesty was a little pissed that she hadn't been fed yet. I briefly considered donating her to another family, preferably one that considered cat a fine delicacy. But, I knew I'd never go through with it. She was too old and stringy. I'd never force someone to eat her.

I finally pulled myself together enough to remember who I was, where I was, and who had better be in bed with me. I lifted one eyelid, looking at the bed next to me. Empty. I was bummed. He'd been doing so well this week, too.

I heard a small grunt and felt a shift behind me just before an arm dropped over my side. It registered in my brain that Kev actually WAS in bed with me. He was just behind me. That was probably lucky for him since there was only about a foot of empty bed in front of me.

I felt his lips on the back of my neck. His arm started stroking my chest lightly. I slid my hand to the back of his, letting him know I was awake. He squeezed me, pulling me tightly against his chest.

"Mornin', Kevy," I whispered to him.

"Mmmmmmm," he moaned against my neck. "Morning, D."

"You get enough sleep last night?" I asked him. He chuckled.

"I didn't get as much as you, obviously, but enough for now," he said. "You finally get enough?"

"Yeah, I guess so. I don't feel like I'm gonna collapse anyway," I said. I snuggled in closer to him, pushing my hips into him. As usual, Kev was pretty excited this morning. Or at least that's what the hard shaft poking into me indicated. He moaned a little. His hand slid down to grab mine.

"So what do you feel like doin' today, sweetie?" he asked, his soft voice reaching through to my brain. I thought for a minute.

"I wanna go to the beach, Kev," I said. I think that surprised him a little bit. He eased his grip on me. I chuckled. "Kev, nothing would make me happier than staying in bed with you all day. But, I would REALLY love to spend some time in the sun. Do you mind?"

"Nah, I don't mind. In fact, the sun sounds good. I can work on my tan," he said.

"We both can," I said. I eased over, turning on my other side to face him. "Just make sure you leave your shorts on. You may like to eliminate tan lines, but I ain't plannin' on sharin' the view of that cute little butt of yours," I smiled at him.

"Ok," he let out a big sigh. "If you insist." He smiled.

"I do!" I emphasized my point with a light jab to his ribs. He grabbed my hand, pulling it to my side as he rolled me onto my back. He slid in on top of me and gave me a light kiss.

"And what do you want to do after we get back from the beach?" he asked. I stared straight into his eyes as I gave my answer.

"You." He paused as we looked at each other.

"Are you sure?"

"Kev, I'm ready. If you are, that is," I said, hoping I knew his answer.

"Yeah, D, I'm ready. I just didn't want you to feel like you had to move further. Where we're at was fine with me until YOU were ready," he said.

"Kev, I love you. And I'm pretty sure that you love me," I said with a little smile, to which he nodded, "so I want to take the next step." I paused, lowering my voice and looking away briefly. "I want us to make love, Kev. I want you inside me," I looked back at him. "I want it...I want YOU...more than anything I've ever wanted before."

He leaned in to kiss me. He lightly pressed his lips to mine, not attempting to deepen the kiss at all. It was amazing.

"Tonight then," he whispered against my lips.

My second cat, Callie, decided at that moment that she was hungry too. However, rather than cry loud enough to wake the dead like Pandora, she preferred a more physical approach. Her landing in the middle of Kevin's back broke us apart rather abruptly.

"Well, guess the troops're hungry," I said through laughs. Kev had had a minor freak before he realized what had dropped onto him.

I rolled out of bed, even though I was really hating leaving Kev. I slipped on a pair of boxers and wandered downstairs. I dug through the cupboard, pulling out the catfood. I poured a healthy dose into their bowls and refilled their water before wandering out on the patio.

The sun was well up by now. It was another gorgeous day, which was a big improvement over the chillier weather we'd left the day before. I was already lookin' forward to the beach.

I stood staring off over the trees. One of the things I'd already come to love about the east was all the trees. Even though I was in a fairly urban area, there were so many trees around that it was almost impossible to tell. It was pretty nice.

I went back inside and walked up to my room. Kev was already in the shower by the time I got back. I thought about joining him, but I knew we'd never make the beach if I did. And I was really looking forward to soaking up some sun. So, I just went back downstairs and gathered up some stuff for the trip.

Kev came down when his shower was done, still drying his hair with a towel. He was looking pretty good, considering he wasn't wearing anything except the towel on his head. I drew in a surprised breath.

"Kev, honey, have you ever considered registering that body as a weapon?" I asked, barely able to speak.

I guess being naked was pretty normal for him. I clued in on this when he pulled the towel off of his head, then looked down at his body. He actually hadn't realized that he was naked. I was beginning to like this carefree side of his.

"Sorry, D. Guess I wasn't really thinkin'," he said with that cute little-innocent-boy smile of his.

"Oh, no problem at all," I said, trying to talk with my throat closed off. "No problem...," I just stopped. And stared, of course. Oh boy.

In the interest of getting us to the beach some time before the 22nd century started, Kev was kind enough to wrap his towel around his waist. Not that this necessarily helped with the complete lack of oxygen getting to my brain, but it was a nice gesture.

Kevin cleared his throat. I stared at his legs. He cleared his throat again. I moved up to his chest. He cleared his throat one more time. I stayed looking at his chest.

"Hello? Dylan? Anybody home?"

No,' was all I thought. Oh yeah, he means ME.' I shook my head and coughed. Twice.

"Um...sorry, Kev," I said, finally looking at his face. "Uh, I uh, got a little, uh, distracted, uh, or, um, something." The blush was definitely in my cheeks at that point.

He was obviously getting a kick out of this. He strutted over to me. Lots of hip action. He was playing with my mind, and boy was he winning that game.

"You gonna shower, D? Or did you decide to just stay home after all?" he asked.

Surprisingly, he didn't even wait for my answer. He just put his arms around me, put his lips to mine, and proceeded to check my tonsils. Very, very slowly, and very, very carefully.

He pulled away from me just before I passed out. Kind of him, wasn't it? He just chuckled at my obviously dazed face and pushed me towards the stairs. I just kind of stumbled over in a daze.

I didn't look back at him. Judging by the laughs coming from his direction, he was having far too much fun at my expense. Besides, I actually DID want to get to the beach today.

I managed to make it through the shower in record time. Now that I wasn't so distracted, I was getting anxious to go. I slipped into my trunks and a t-shirt, stuffing a pair of shorts, sweats, and an extra shirt into my gym bag to take along.

I wandered downstairs again. Kev had gotten dressed and was hanging on the couch, giving one of the cats a little lovin'. I noticed he had a bag sitting next to the door, so I guessed he was probably...

"Ready to go?" I asked.

"Yeah, let's jet," he replied.

We grabbed our bags and the other stuff I wanted for the trip. We walked down and hopped into my car. We briefly thought about taking his, but I figured my Pontiac probably stood out a bit less than his BMW. Not much, but a bit.

We hopped on the highway and headed west across the causeway, making our way out to the gulf beaches. We probably could've gone to a beach along the bay, but I always preferred to see the gulf stretching out. I loved all that water.

We staked out a spot on the sand. It was actually fairly crowded. Spring was moving on, and the days were getting warm enough to start drawing more crowds than I'd seen before. We tried to pick out a place in a group of older people. Kev kind of figured there was a better chance he wouldn't be recognized there.

Ah, now this was why I'd moved to Florida. Sun, sand, and a certain Backstreet Boy. Life had pretty much peaked at that moment, although I knew it was only going to get better tonight. A smile crossed my face.

"Whatcha thinkin', D?" he asked. I guess the smile gave me away.

"Oh, I was just thinking how good I had it at the moment," I paused to look over at him. "And how much better I was gonna have it tonight." That got me one of those sexy smiles of his.

"Lookin' forward to that, are ya?"

"Aren't you? Cause if you're not, I'm sure we could put it off for a while. I wouldn't want ya to feel pressure or nothin'," I joked, turning away from him and lying back on my towel.

I felt him slide over just a bit. He wasn't quite close enough to touch me, which was probably good given my usual reaction to his touch lately. His voice drifted into my ear.

"If we weren't in public, I would show you EXACTLY how much I'm lookin' forward to it," he whispered to me. I just smiled without turning back to him.

After we'd spent an hour or so in the sun, we went swimming in the cool gulf waters. We goofed around a little, dunking each other and just carrying on, but we kept that down a bit. I wasn't really comfortable taking things too far when we were so visible.

Surprisingly enough, Kev wasn't recognized the entire time we were there. He didn't wear a disguise of any kind, unless you consider sunglasses on a beach to be a disguise. I suppose that he was a little less noticeable when it was just him and not all five of them. Personally, I thought he was ALWAYS noticeable, but I guess I was a little biased in that area.

As the sun started to fall towards the waters of the Gulf, the crowd started to thin out. Kev and I had come back to our little spot on the beach and stretched out. The air had started to chill just a little, but I still thought it was warm enough to just hang in my trunks.

"Kev?" I asked. We were side by side on our stomachs, our heads turned to face one another.

"Yeah, D?"

"Would you mind if...that is, do you think it'd be ok if...I mean," I started to ask him, but didn't want him to feel obligated to do it.

"Spit it out, D," he told me.

"Well, I'd kinda like to hang out here and watch the sunset with you," I said slowly before rushing on, "but I don't want you to feel like we have to or nothin' if it's gonna be like too public for you."

"Dylan, it's cool. We can hang out for the sunset. No one's figured out who I am, yet, and I doubt they will any time soon. Everyone's doin' their own thing, and contrary to popular belief, we're not all that easily recognized in places like this," he reassured me. I smiled, happy.

"Thanks, Kev. It's just that I've never really had anyone in my life that I wanted to share these things with. Now, I do, and I'd like to do it."

"I'd like that, D," was his soft reply.

We lay there for a while longer as the sun started sinking into the west. The crowd around us was pretty thin now. It was a Sunday evening, so people were going home a little early to relax and unwind before starting the workweek, I guess. Besides, I'd discovered a while back that people who had these gorgeous warm climates to live in tended to be rather thin-blooded. They got cold very easily, and since the sun was starting to go down, it was getting too cold for them.

I sat up and turned to watch the sun reflecting on the water. I'd seen sunsets in all types of places. Across the mountains, fast but breathtaking. Or reflecting off of a set of thunderhead clouds over the plains after a summer shower. And now the rays scattering across the glimmer of the sea. I had to admit that there was nothing that could beat a sunset over the Rockies above Denver. But damn this was a close second.

I turned to look around us and realized we were basically alone. There were people still on the beach, but most were pretty distant from us. Kev was sitting, just watching me.

"Come here," he said.

"What?" I wasn't sure what he meant.

"Come over here," he said, patting his towel between his legs. I raised an eyebrow to make sure, but he just nodded at me.

I scooted over and moved up between his legs. I held myself forward a bit, but he put an arm around me and pulled me back against him. His skin was still fairly warm from the sun. I could feel the heat where his naked chest touched my equally naked back. I relaxed and rested my head just below his shoulder as he lightly kissed just behind my ear.

Kev slid his arm off of me, using both of them to brace the two of us up. He had his knees bent, so I rested my hands on his legs, lightly running my hands up and down over his calves and thighs. His skin felt wonderful. All warm and soft, with a hint of the strength lying just underneath.

The sun was sinking into the ocean now. Ok, it isn't technically the ocean, but it's a helluva lot of water. The oranges and reds from the sun were reflecting and mixing with the blues and greens of the water. The few clouds overhead were streaks of fire across the darkening sky, reflecting the sun's last rays of the day.

We sat together, not really saying anything to one another. Just absorbing the beauty, however brief, of the canvas that Mother Nature was painting in front of us. It was probably one of the most romantic moments of my entire life.

"Beautiful," I murmured, not even realizing I'd spoken aloud.

"You sure are," Kev whispered softly, again turning his lips to that sensitive spot just by my ear. I blushed.

"Thanks, Kev. So are you," I said, still barely speaking.

The sun was finally gone before we even shifted. The breeze off of the water had picked up, and it was turning cold on the beach. Kev moved behind me, so I sat up, expecting we were leaving. He put a hand on my shoulder, holding me there for a moment as he dug into his bag.

He pulled out a blanket, draping it over his shoulders before pulling me back against him again. He put his arms behind to support us as I wrapped the blanket around our still-bare upper bodies.

We stayed on the beach, watching the stars come out slowly, one by one. We talked quietly to each other, mostly whispering how much we loved each other. I thanked him several times for the day. It was wonderful to just relax, unwind with the man I love and forget the cares of the world for a while.

Eventually, we decided to pack it in and head for home. The drive home was pretty quiet. I think we were both just reflecting on the day. It had turned out to be a perfect day all around.

I pulled into my parking spot near my apartment, and we gathered our stuff from the car. Kev followed me as I walked upstairs, just enjoying the comfortable silence between us.

I was surprised to see someone waiting on the front step for us. When I saw who it was, I immediately got concerned. Judging by the look on his face, he hadn't enjoyed the same excellent day that we had. Kev was the first one to speak.

"Nick, what are you doin' here?"

Chapter 46

Nick tensed up when he heard Kevin's voice. He seemed like he hadn't even known we were there. I guess he'd been too far in his own world to hear us coming up the stairs.

"Hi, Kev, Dylan," he said. Even if I hadn't seen the lost look on his face, I could tell by the sound of his voice that something was really wrong. It just wasn't Nick.

"Nick, man, what's wrong?" I asked.

Nick just looked over at me, not saying anything. He almost seemed like he wasn't really there. The vague look in his eyes was almost creepy. For some reason, the first thing that popped into my head was that I hoped he hadn't driven over here in that condition.

"Nick," Kevin said, trying to get a reaction from him. I guess his `big brother' voice helped, cause Nick seemed to shake himself and join our world for a bit.

"Sorry, guys. Guess I'm just a little bit out of things. Mind if I come in?" Nick asked. "Please?" He almost seemed like he was begging me to let him in. This caught me off guard. Nick knew that he was always welcome where I was concerned.

"Of course, dude," I said. "I guess it'd probably be cool of me if I actually opened the door sometime tonight, huh?" I joked, tryin' to lighten things up a bit. Nick didn't respond, but Kev was kind enough to chuckle at my lame humor.

I managed to grab the right key and get it in the lock. Since I almost always forgot to turn on the outside light before I left, I was stuck trying to find the keyhole in the dark. One of these days, maybe I'd actually remember what a pain that was before I left the house so I could turn on the light.

I got the door open and led the guys inside. I dropped my bag beside the door. Nick just kinda wandered by and walked into the living room. I turned and looked at Kev with an eyebrow raised.

"I dunno, D," he said quietly. I wasn't sure why he was being quiet since Nick probably wouldn't hear him anyway. "He gets like this sometimes. You mind grabbin' us something to drink, and I'll go see if he'll talk to me?"

"Yeah, sure, Kev," I said. "What should I get?"

"Somethin' with a little alcohol," he said. I was kinda surprised that he wanted Nick to drink when he was like this. Kev obviously figured that out. "It helps to loosen him up a bit, gets him talkin' `bout what's botherin' him."

I nodded as I wandered into the kitchen. Kev went for the living room to try to talk to Nick. I rummaged around the kitchen for a bit. I wasn't a big drinker, especially at home. Given the rampant alcoholism that existed in my extended family, I usually tried to play it a little safe.

I finally managed to dig out a bottle of whiskey. It had been a going away present from a friend back in Denver. I pulled out some glasses and mixed up a few whiskey-cokes. I made Nick's a bit stronger, figuring Kev was probably right about it loosening him up.

When I got back to the living room, it was quiet. Nick was on the couch, staring into the middle of my living room floor like it was gonna just open up and swallow him. Or at least like he was hoping it would. Kevin was sitting next to him, running a hand along his shoulders.

I met Kevin's eye when I handed over the drinks. I raised my usual eyebrow, asking the question silently. Kev just shook his head. I guess he hadn't made any progress.

Rather than sit in the chair across the room, I decided to confront things a bit. I planted my butt on the floor, right in front of Nick. He noticed my movement, as his eyes shifted to me.

"Nick, please tell us what's wrong," I said softly, looking into the ocean that was his eyes. I reached up a hand and gently ran it along his leg. If Nick was anything like me, the simple touch would mean a lot.

He took a long swallow of his drink. Actually, he drank the entire thing down at once. When he finished, his head dropped back down, and he stared at me.

"I just...had a bad day, that's all," he said.

"What happened?" I asked him.

"I went to see my folks," he replied. "After bein' with your family this week, and with you losing your dad and all, I felt like seein' mine." I nodded. It was understandable.

"Dylan, you ain't the only one with problems dealin' with his dad," Nick continued. I just nodded back.

"I kinda guessed that a while back. You've said a few things that made me wonder," I mentioned.

"You and I've never really talked about your life with your dad. Nothin' beyond the recent stuff and the problems. So, I dunno what things were like for you when you were little," he said. He didn't really look like he cared to know the details of my life at that moment, so I didn't say anything.

"When I was a kid, Dad was like my best friend or somethin'. I was the oldest. Number one son, ya know? It was like we had this bond. Even when we weren't together, or when times were tough for the family, we were still tight," he paused to gather his thoughts.

"Things started to change when I went on the road with Backstreet. The guys practically raised me after that, and Dad and I started to become more distant. I s'pose that it's pretty normal, for kids to split from the `rents, but I think my split came too early for Dad."

"I'm not too sure when it happened, but Dad started to get...jealous of the guys, I guess. It was never too obvious, but I always knew it was there. He'd just say or do things that made me realize what he was thinkin'," he paused to look over at Kevin.

"He resented you the most of all of `em. Brian became my best friend. AJ and Howie were like the goofy relations that every family has, keepin' us all sane just by bein' themselves. But, you became like my new dad," he said. Kevin seemed a little taken back by Nick's words. I guess he didn't realize the impact that he'd had in Nick's life, and maybe in the other guys' as well.

"You became the one I looked up to the most, the one I respected. In a way, I idolized you. You were what I wanted to be. Even though we argued a lot, I always held you pretty high, man. Dad really grew to hate that, I think."

"Anyway, as the group started becomin' more and more famous, and I separated more and more from my family, Dad started trying to...put distance between me and the guys, I guess. He was never really obvious or nothin', but he'd kinda casually mention here and there about how it would be different if I were solo, or if I went out and toured alone with Aaron," he said.

I'll admit, I drew a blank here. Aaron who? The light finally flipped on in my brain a minute later. I'd read about Nick's younger brother being in music, also, although I'd never actually seen or heard him. I guess he was pretty popular in his own right. Nothin' like Nicky, but big nonetheless.

"The last few months, Dad's been puttin' more and more pressure on me," he stopped again, staring at me for a minute. I had a pretty good idea what had happened tonight, just from his story so far, but I decided to just let him say it. He turned after a few minutes and looked at Kevin.

"He wants me to quit the group," he said softly. Kevin gasped, although I think it was more because Nick actually said it than because he hadn't guessed it was coming. Sometimes actually hearing the words can be a surprise, even if what they're saying isn't.

"And you don't want to do that. And you got in a fight with him about it," I said, stating rather than asking. Nick nodded, confirming my suspicions.

"Yeah, that's pretty much it. We...said a few things, things that we didn't mean. Well, things that I didn't mean, anyway," he replied.

"And now you're worried that what you said might not be somethin' you can take back, that maybe you've done some permanent damage to your relationship with him," I said.

"Pretty much," he said. He seemed to get frustrated then. "Why won't he just get it that I like bein' a Backstreet Boy? That I'm not ready or interested in goin' solo, yet. Yeah, maybe someday, but there's so many things I still wanna do with the guys. Besides, they're like my family, now. I couldn't do that to `em."

"Nicky," I said, using a tone to let him know that I wasn't teasing him by using that nickname, "have you told him this?"

"I've tried. It's like he's become a brick wall these days. Nothin' seems to get through. Tonight, I basically told him to fuck off and just leave me the hell alone," he said, his voice again quiet.

"Nick, it's gonna be ok, man," I said. I wasn't sure how, but I knew that I was gonna try to help Nick fix things. I'd lost my dad before I'd worked out things with him. I didn't want Nick to live with the same guilt.

Nick looked in my eyes then. It was like he was searching me, trying to verify that I was telling the truth. I put as much conviction into that look as I could. It must've been enough, cause he eventually nodded at me.

"Thanks, Dylan. I `preciate that," he said.

"We'll all do what we can to help, Nick," Kevin tossed in.

"I know, Kev," he sighed.

I wasn't sure if we should continue with this. It was late, and we were all tired. But Nick was obviously having some problems that shouldn't be totally ignored. In the end, I caved in and went for sleep.

"Ok, troops, bedtime," I said, clapping my hands to get their attention. Judging by the distance they both jumped in the air, I guess I'd managed to get it.

"Nick, it's late, and you've had a rough day. Whatever problems are there between you and your dad, they won't be any worse for a bit o' sleep, and they might even seem a little better in the light of day," I said. I stopped before leaning in and putting my hands on his legs.

"Nick, your dad loves you. He may be having trouble showing it, but he does love you. You'll work this out," I paused. "If necessary, WE'LL work this out." Nick nodded back at me, the relief pretty obvious on his face.

"Now, if you ask really nice, I'll even let ya sleep with us in my gigantic bed tonight," I said, cracking a little smile. "Kev is a great comfort when he's butt-naked."

"Hey!" Kev replied, but it was too late. Nick and I busted up, laughing at the look on his face.

"Ya know, Dylan," Nick said as his laughter faded, "you'd better be careful. One o' these days, I'm gonna call your bluff."

"What makes ya think I'm bluffin'?" I said in my most serious voice. "You're welcome to sleep with us as long as you realize that we both sleep bare-ass." Nick actually stopped to think about it.

"Ok," was his only reply.

"Ok, what?" Kevin asked.

"Ok, I'm thinkin' that I'll sleep with you," he said. Kev was lookin' mighty uncomfortable at that point. I just took it in stride. I didn't really mind THAT much whether Nick joined us or not. He'd just better be ready for the consequences. Besides, I didn't really believe that he'd do it.

"Fine. Then let's go to bed," I said. I stood up and offered a hand to Kevin. He took it, although I could tell he was rather uncomfortable. I just smiled. After all, he was the one who was always complainin' about my modesty around the guys. I guess now was his chance to prove to me that he wasn't the same way.

The three of us wandered upstairs, me in the lead and Nick bringin' up the rear. Kev was starting to look like the proverbial deer caught in someone's headlights. I just smiled to myself and shook my head. I knew Nick would tease him for a while, but I also knew that he'd go sleep in the spare room before too late.

We walked into the bedroom, and I dropped Kev's hand to walk into the bathroom. I brushed my teeth and did my usual night stuff. I got a bit of a shock when I walked out of the bathroom. Nick was actually in the bed.

"You're really gonna sleep in here, Nick?" I asked, surprised. He just smiled.

"I told ya I'd call your bluff if you weren't careful," he said with that little smirk of evil.

"Well, yeah, but...," I stopped. I didn't really have an argument for him. Kev just chuckled as he walked by me into the bathroom. I stared at Nick for a minute. I was caught by my own joke, it appeared.

"Are you wearin' anything under those covers?" I asked him.

"Hey, I might be willin' to sleep with my gay best friend and his just-as-gay boyfriend, but I AIN'T willin' to do it nekkid. You boys might try to take advantage of my steamin' hot self," he said, smirk still in place. "I'm wearin' my boxers."

"No t-shirt?" I wondered. He just shook his head. He got a rather serious look on his face at that moment.

"Dylan, I can go in the other room if you want. But...," he paused, looking down at the covers, "I really would like it if you'd let me stay. I know it'll be a little weird for you guys, but...," he stopped again.

"Nick, it's cool. I'm just surprised that you'd wanna sleep with your `gay best friend and his just-as-gay boyfriend' is all," I said, givin' him a little smile. "If you're ok with it, I'm ok with it." He didn't say anything, just nodded.

I pulled off my t-shirt as Kev walked back in the room. When I dropped my shirt, I got a bit of a surprise. Kev'd apparently decided to take his clothes off in the bathroom. I looked over at Nick, but he didn't even bat an eye at Kevin's nakedness.

I gave up then, figuring that I'd set myself up for this, so I'd have to live with it. Kev just stood next to the bed, looking at me. I guessed by the look on his face that he was expecting ME to get in first. I guess the guys' closeness only went so far.

I debated whether or not I should take off my boxers. I knew I'd be uncomfortable sleeping in them, but I also guessed that I'd be uncomfortable sleeping naked with Nick. Now I just had to decide which was worse. I decided on a different approach. Would I rather sleep naked with Kevin or in my boxers with Kevin? I immediately pulled them off.

I slid under the covers and climbed in the middle. Kevin quickly climbed in after me. He and I spooned together, his back to my chest, and my back towards Nick. Nick once again surprised me by curling up behind me, spooning me as I was spooning Kev. He dropped his arm over the two of us.

"Thanks for everything, guys," Nick said, obviously getting close to sleep already. The last thing that crossed my mind as I joined him was that I was living out the fantasy of about half the female population under 20. I was sandwiched between two of the hottest men around. Unfortunately, the fantasy ended there cause I wasn't havin' sex with EITHER of `em. Dammit.

To be continued... ------------------