Forever

Author's Notes --------------

Well, I've returned again from sunny Florida with the red face to prove it. For those of you who've been monitoring my little 'job hunt' festivities, the tally of employers who want me is now up to four. I'd jump for joy except I'm now stuck trying to decide between 'em ;-)

On the plus side, two of 'em are in Kev's hometown of Orlando. Who knows? Maybe I could sweep him off his feet and convert him to the 'Dark Side'? LOL...I'm such a comedian.

Anyway, hope y'all missed me terribly. And I hope what you read here is worth your time. I haven't had much feedback the last posting or two, so it's difficult to know if people are actually enjoying it.

Actually, I'm gonna pose a question to one and all. Feel free to e-mail a response, or just general commentary, to me at djs_tale@hotmail.com.

Is the story becoming too predictable, trite, or dull?

And now, let's hit the turning point in Kev & Dylan's lives...enjoy!

Disclaimer ----------

The story contained here is entirely in the (possibly unbalanced) mind of its author. As much as I might like to bear Kevin's children (which would be nothing short of a miracle), I have no idea if he or any of the other BSB is actually gay. Now that Kevin's engaged, I have a good idea that he's not. If any of the BSB read this story and are offended, they should certainly exercise their right to free speech and e-mail me to complain all about it. Readers should enjoy the fantasy, but remember that reality may be (and probably is) dramatically different.

Don't read this little tale of love if you're too young where you live. Don't read this little tale of love if it's illegal where you live. If either of those two things applies to where you live, I recommend that you MOVE!!!

And now...'Forever'...

Chapter 54

The silence in the room was overwhelming. The only thing I could hear was Jen's voice from across the street. Apparently, she'd taken to celebrating every point that she scored on her brother.

I wasn't really sure what to say. I looked around at everyone. Lindsay was just looking back at me. Kari was staring pretty hard at Kevin, her face unreadable to me. Nick was sitting on the floor, doing his best to put a hole in the wall with his eyes. And Kevin...

Kevin was staring down at our hands. He looked like he was scared to look anywhere else. I could feel him squeezing my hand, tightening and loosening his grip repeatedly.

I wanted to stand, to move to the window, to pace around. But, I knew if I did that Kevin would be hurt. By the way he was fixated on my hand, he was scared that I was going to pull away from him. My suspicion was proven a moment later.

I slid my hand from Kevin's. He gasped, turning his head to give me a startled, pained look. I quickly moved my hand around his shoulders, pulling him tight to me as I leaned over with my free hand and once again locked our fingers together.

"It's ok, Kev. I'm not going anywhere," I whispered into his ear. He sighed and leaned into me more. I turned to Kari, then.

"I'm going to assume," I said, in a quiet voice, "that Kevin is NOT the father." I felt him stiffen slightly. "And the reason I'm going to assume this is that I trust him, and I know he would've told me had he...been with you that recently." I paused a moment here. "Besides, if he was the father, then he knows that I`d have to kill him," I smiled a little, trying to ease the tension that seemed to hang in the room.

"No, Kevin's not the father, Dylan," Kari replied. I had to admit to some relief that she'd actually said the words. "I'm not exactly proud of this, but I'm not sure who the father is." She stopped for a breath before she continued.

"See, I broke up with my boyfriend not long ago. We'd been together for a while, and it wasn't really an easy break. So, I've kinda been living it up lately, enjoying the single life and trying to just put him behind me."

"Not long before Kev called me, I went out to a club with some friends of mine. We had a few drinks, got to partying. Basically, we just had a good time. And, I ended up going home with a guy that I hooked up with at that club. We," she paused again, blushing a little, "well, we had sex. And we weren't exactly safe." She shrugged. "Obviously."

"I don't know the guy, and I've never seen him since. And now, I'm pregnant. And, since I agreed to pose as Kevin's fiance, that means that it affects him as well. And, by association, you."

"So, you're about two months along, right?" I asked, mentally trying to put the time together. So much had happened, I had a hard time remembering when she'd come into the picture.

"Yeah, the baby's due in December," she replied. "I had Allen track you down, although I didn't tell him why. I figured we needed to talk. He's just all happy now cause he thinks that I was dying to see you. Which was true, although not for the reasons he thinks." There was a long pause.

"So," I said, "what do we do now?" Silence descended on the room again. We all sat that way until Kevin broke it.

"Kari and I could get married," he suggested. I stiffened.

This time, I did pull away. I stood and walked to the window, looking out on the yard. I didn't dare open my mouth, as I had no control over what might come out at that point.

"Kevin, I don't think," Kari started to speak, but he interrupted.

"Kari, if we break it off now, people are gonna want to know why. Someone's bound to find out that you're pregnant. If we break it off, then people will assume that I'm not the father. If, or when, that gets out, everyone's gonna think you're...well, you know where that'll go. If people dig deep enough, they're gonna find out we haven't actually been dating all this time, which means there's a good chance someone will come up with the other facts...like I'm involved with another guy."

He fell silent, then. I stood staring out, twisting the ring on my thumb. Kevin's ring. The one he gave me when he proposed, when he got down on his knees in front of me and said he wanted to marry me. I felt a hand on my shoulder and turned to see the sky in a pair of blue eyes.

I locked gazes with Nick a moment. He didn't say anything, just somehow conveyed to me that he cared and was there if I needed him. But, at the moment, he didn't have what I needed. I needed open space. I needed freedom.

"I'm sorry. I gotta get outta here," I mumbled to no one in particular as I turned and ran out of the living room.

I heard voices saying my name, but I ignored them and ran out the front door. I reached in my pocket and grabbed my car keys, using the remote to unlock the doors before I reached the car.

Jen and Scot both turned from their game and waved at me. I ignored them, instead gunning the engine on the Grand Prix. Before I'd bought this car, I'd always thought it wasn't really possible to burn the tires on a front wheel drive, especially an automatic, just by punching the gas. Today proved that theory wrong.

I don't know how long I drove. When I started to pay attention again, I was already cruising up the north slope of the Skyway Bridge, heading for the crest overlooking the center of the bay entrance.

I followed the highway as it rose over the top and began its descent to the other shore. I pulled off at the first off-ramp, which led to a rest area on the bay side and a pier on the gulf side. I turned right, driving along the shore towards the pier a short ways up the road, facing the vast open space of the Gulf of Mexico.

I pulled to the side of the road, parking the car and climbing out. I walked over to an open area of rocks, sitting down to stare out across the water.

It was still fairly early afternoon, so there were quite a few people around. But, no one seemed to pay much attention to each other, which was probably fortunate since I wasn't really coherent enough to have a conversation.

I focused on a point far out in the water. The sun was rippling off of waves that I could barely see there. It was a good sight to concentrate on.

Kev had offered to marry her. REALLY marry her, not the fake marriage they were touting for the public. I didn't know what was worse, the fact that he'd done it or the fact that he'd been right to do it. Sort of, anyway.

Kari's reputation WOULD be ruined if people ever found out about her being pregnant after they broke up. While the majority of people would eventually quit caring, tabloids and lower-class journalists would likely continue to pursue her just for the dirt on the woman who slept around on Kevin.

Kevin's reputation, on the other hand, would be trash if they stayed together and didn't get married. People would assume that the baby was his and would question the decision to stay single. Like it or not, BSB still had a fairly clean-cut, all-American-boy image. This could be pretty damaging. Unfortunately, it would also be trash if people found out WHY they didn't get married.

I sighed, shifting my gaze down to the water splashing off of the rocks below my feet. Nick had been right a while back. The ocean could be a soothing place.

I felt a...twitch along the edge of my skin. It was a feeling I recognized. I guess my little escape hadn't been entirely successful.

"Dylan..." he began. I felt him sit down next to me, not touching, of course, but close enough so we could talk privately. I sighed before turning to him.

"Hey, baby," I said, talking softly to be sure no one heard me except Kevin. "How'd you find me?"

"I followed you, although I'm probably lucky I didn't get arrested along the way. I skimmed a few `pink' lights as they were turnin' red. I almost lost you when you first left, cause it took a minute to grab my keys. Lucky for me, you caught that red light pretty early so I could catch up. After that, I just tagged along," he said. He paused, gathering himself to speak again.

"Dylan, I'm sorry about," he started, but I lifted a hand to cut him off.

"Kev, you don't have to apologize. As much as it pains me to admit it, what you suggested was legit, and it needed to be said. But, I...uh...," I let my voice trail off. I wasn't sure what words to use. I turned to look back over the water before speaking again, changing the subject when I did.

"I should probably be the one apologizing to you, Kev," I told him. "I said I wasn't goin' anywhere, then sprinted out the door five minutes later."

"I understand, D. It couldn't've been easy to hear me tell Kari we should get married." He took a deep breath before continuing. "Unfortunately, I don't really have a solution here."

"That's cause there isn't one. Not anything cut and dried, anyway. If you don't get married, you risk Kari getting a really bad rap through no fault of her own, maybe a lot of harmful baggage for her kid down the road, and/or someone figuring out that you're...ya know. And if you do get married...," I let that thought die, knowing he'd get it himself.

"If I do get married, I hurt the one guy who means the most to me in the world, not to mention the problems that come up when Kari and I divorce."

His mention of divorce made me stop and think again. That was something I hadn't considered. There were other aspects to this that needed to be addressed.

"Kevin," I said, turning to face him again. I softened my voice as I spoke, "you need to understand something."

"Marriage isn't something I take lightly, whether it's mine or someone else's. Even though organized religion and I parted company a long time back, marriage is still a very...sacred thing to me. The vows taken and the commitment they represent mean a lot. That's why I told you before that I'd never met someone worth marrying until you. It's a lifetime thing." He nodded, looking unsure where this was going.

"I guess, what I'm trying to say is...if you and Kari decide to go through with this, I don't think I can stay with you. A marriage of convenience, even if it's my convenience, isn't something I can be a part of. Yeah, it would kill me to be apart from you. But, it would be a dozen times worse if I had to be there and watch the whole thing. If you DO get married, then you and I will need to part ways."

I stared into those green eyes of his, trying to make him understand that I wasn't doing this to be malicious. I was doing this because it was something I believed. He nodded slowly before I spoke again.

"I'm sorry, baby. I don't mean to add to your problems, or give you an ultimatum. But, I feel very strongly about this, and I can't betray what I believe...not even for," I paused, "not even for the one man who will ever mean this much to me."

I turned back to stare out at the ocean then. The waves breaking against the shore were soothing in a way, relaxing in their rhythm. I felt Kev's hand cover mine where it rested on the rocks between us. I was surprised at the PDA, but I didn't pull away.

"D," he began with a sigh, "you're not gonna lose me. I only suggested the marriage idea because I thought it would be the right thing to do. It's my fault that Kari's in this situation. She agreed to help me out, and now she's stuck with that. But, the only way I could do something like that was if you could be there with me, somehow."

"It would be wrong of me to ask you to go against what you believe, to make you go through something like this. I respect what you're saying, and, if marrying her means losing you forever, then it's not an option anymore."

We sat there a moment. I couldn't look at him, cause I knew if I did then I would probably start to cry. Besides how much I hated doing that, it would look a little odd to all the people around us. And, I didn't feel like drawing more attention to us.

I could feel him looking at me, perhaps wondering what I was thinking. I took a few deep breaths, regaining some calm and pulling myself together before finally looking at him.

"So, what do we do now, then?" I wondered. He just slowly shook his head, unsure where we went from there.

Chapter 55

There were a few extra cars at my place when I pulled back in front of the house. I recognized one as AJ's. I realized the other one was probably Kari's. I hadn't really been paying attention when I came out of the house earlier.

Jen and Scot were gone. I guess he'd gotten tired of gettin' his ass whipped by his sister and gave up. All the better since I wouldn't have to try to fake politeness with them. I wasn't really in the mood.

Kev pulled up behind me, blocking me in between his car and AJ's. I guess he was going to keep me from driving off again. It was probably a good idea.

Lindsay came to the door when she heard us pull up. She gave me a hug when I reached the door, which I half-heartedly returned. Like I said, I wasn't really in the mood.

"How ya doin'?" she asked, her voice very low.

"I'm ok," I said, feeling Kevin come up behind me. "We're ok."

She nodded once, looking at me, then over to Kev, then back to me. She nodded again, then turned and opened the door, holding it while we went through.

I went straight for the stairs, not interested in talking to anyone at the moment. Kevin followed me, staying on my heels as I wandered into the bedroom.

I stopped when I walked in the door to my room and looked around. Everything was unpacked. I turned and looked down the hallway. I could see into the second bedroom at the end of the hall. There were no boxes in sight.

Lindsay had sure been busy while I was gone. When I looked at the clock, I realized why. We'd been gone for several hours. She was probably worried sick about me...about us.

I moved over and sat on the bed. Kevin walked over to sit next to me, but I stopped him. I nudged him in the side, indicating that he should move in between my legs. He did, resting his arms on my shoulders.

I leaned into him, resting my forehead against the solid wall of his abs. I could feel the warmth of his skin through his shirt, but it wasn't enough. I raised my hands to his waist, lifting his shirt up over his abs before resting my head there again. I could feel his skin against mine. That was the touch I was looking for.

I felt his hand begin to stroke my hair. It felt nice, soothing. I closed my eyes and just concentrated on his touch. He had one hand resting on my shoulder while the other moved over my head. I could've fallen asleep, except for the knock at the door.

"Come in," Kevin said, just loud enough to be heard. I didn't move, but I did hear the door open. A moment later, I felt another hand on my shoulder.

"You guys doin' alright?" It was Nick. I took a last deep breath, absorbing what I could of Kev's scent before I lifted my head away to look at Nick.

"Yeah, we're cool, Nick. Just a little...overwhelmed, I guess," I sighed. Then I cracked a little smile before continuing. "If I'd known that dating one of you was gonna be so much work, I think I'd have opted for San Diego instead of Tampa." I squeezed my arms around Kevin, letting him know I was joking.

That got a little chuckle from both of them. For some reason, that helped me feel better, too. I knew it was time to face the world again. Our brief interlude was something I'd needed, but we all needed to work this out.

"So, what are our options?" I asked everyone once we'd all gathered in my living room. I decided in the back of my head that I needed more furniture. There were just too many people to entertain these days.

Kev and I were on the couch, me on the end, him in the center, with Howie on the other end. Howie and AJ had driven down together when Nick had called them. Brian wasn't back in town, yet, but Nick had left a message on his voice mail to call when he got in. This was apparently one of those `family decision' things that the guys needed to talk out together.

Lindsay and Nick had both grabbed chairs from the dining room table and were sitting in them next to Howie. Nick, of course, had his backwards and was leaning on the back with his arms. AJ was on the floor, leaning up against the couch near my leg. And Kari was sitting across from the couch in the recliner.

"Well," Howie started slowly, "Kev and Kari could get married." That brought a resounding `NO' from both Kevin and Kari. I just sat there, feeling it wasn't my decision to make. I was a little biased on that point.

"We could announce that they've decided to break it off," he continued after the others stopped talking. I spoke up then.

"There're problems with that idea, too," I said. Everyone turned to me, so I continued, counting the points off on one hand.

"One, Kevin's been engaged before. People are gonna wonder why he keeps breaking them off. Two, if they break up now, and people find out about Kari being pregnant, then everyone'll know that Kev's not the father and Kari's rep goes down the shitter. Three, if they break up now, after barely being engaged and supposedly being totally happy, it's gonna raise questions. Face it, any way this goes, it's gonna look bad, both for BSB and for Kari."

"Look," Kevin interjected, "it doesn't matter about Backstreet. We've weathered a lot worse, we can get through this. My concern is for Kari. She's in this mess because she was good enough to help me out when I needed it. I won't let her get persecuted by the media because of that."

"Kevin," Kari spoke up next, "let's face it. No matter what we do, someone gets tossed to the dogs. If we get married, then you and Dylan are gonna be living in hell, which means the rest of us will, too. If we don't get married, then both of us are gonna feel the heat from it. Have you even considered what your managers are gonna say if we break up?" Guessing by the looks on the faces of the guys, they hadn't. Neither had I, for that matter.

"They got us together for a reason. To keep any suspicion off of you about being gay. Now, less than two months later, we're gonna announce that we're breaking up after supposedly dating for years. I'd guess that's gonna probably draw a few eyes where your managers don't want them going."

"She's right," AJ said. "Management's gonna have a fit over this. Allen'll probably want you two to get married rather than have you break up already."

"Fuck Allen," Nick raised his opinion. "It's his damn fault that Kev and Dylan are in this mess. And Kari."

"Listen, guys," Lindsay jumped in. "We're going in circles here. We don't have to decide all of this today." I noticed how she was including herself in all of this. It seemed a little odd to me, but I let it go.

"Lindsay's right," Nick spoke again. "We've talked a little. I think we're all pretty much aware that the options are very limited. Let's think on it for a few days and talk about it again. Maybe B- Rok'll have some thoughts when he gets back."

We all nodded, then. All except Kevin. There was a look of concentration on his face. He was thinking about something, but I had no idea what. I nudged him a little, causing him to jerk before rejoining our conversation.

"Yeah, Nick...uh...that's a good idea," he said.

"Ok, then," Nick said, "I'm thinkin' someone owes me a nice juicy steak after all the hard work I put in today." His eyes were glued to me.

"Oh, yeah, you were workin' hard, alright. How many games of Nintendo did you get in? Oh, and let's not forget how hard you were snoring in the recliner, either. Had to be exhausting," I chided him.

"Hey, it was, man. You have no idea the effort it takes to get out a good snore," he said, acting all indignant.

"Whatever, Nick. But," I smiled at him, "being the fab friend that I am, I'll provide you with dinner." Howie looked over at Lindsay.

"Did he actually just use the word `fab'?" he asked, joking with her. She sighed dramatically.

"Alas, yes. While it doesn't happen often, Dylan does, on occasion, lapse into `gayspeak'. I've tried to break him of the habit, but nothing seems to work." I thought for a moment she might swoon, but she managed to recover herself in time. She was such a ham.

"Well, I can see why you chose nursing. Your acting certainly wouldn't pay the bills," I said sarcastically. She gave me the finger, drawing a laugh from everyone.

"Ok, enough of that. I'm volunteering Kev to cook since he's already proved he can," I turned a smile on him, which he returned, "which means that Howie and AJ get grocery duty. Nick can do the dishes when we're done."

"I don't think so, Dylan. I'll go get groceries with Howie. AJ can do the dishes."

"Like hell, Junior! You heard Dylan, man, you're on dish duty."

"Don't worry, Nicky, Lindsay'll be happy to help you with that," I said, volunteering my good friend.

"Hey!" she said, but I stuck up a hand.

"So, how come Kari doesn't have any chores?" Nick asked, pouting.

"Well, DUH, Nick. I'm pregnant!" She picked up on the banter immediately.

"Then what about YOU, Dylan?" Nick drug me into it.

"Hey, somebody has to supervise this crowd," I said. "Besides, I get to be cook's assistant." I turned to Kevin and launched myself into his lap.

He laughed as he fell over with me on top of him. Howie wasn't laughing, however, since he was basically trapped under Kevin who was trapped under me. Nick dog piled on top of us, and it just degenerated into a free-for-all.

Chapter 56

The phone interrupted my concentration. I was working on a particularly twisted problem in my code. I couldn't seem to figure out what was causing the damn thing to crash. The ringing phone almost had me screaming in frustration.

"System Development, this is Dylan," I answered using the usual phrase with a twist of `dammit, why are you interrupting me' in my tone.

"Hey, D," Kev's voice came to me.

"Oh, hey, Kev," I immediately lightened. It was good to hear his voice.

I hadn't seen him in four days, ever since the impromptu barbecue on Sunday afternoon. He'd gone back to Orlando that night with the other guys. He'd basically been in meetings since then.

As expected, his managers were less than thrilled at the possible demise of his engagement to Kari. They'd apparently had a number of plans in mind for the two of them. Plans which were now permanently changed.

"You havin' a rough day already? It's only 9:00am," he said.

"Oh, I've just been arguing with my computer for like two days now. It's driving me nuts," I told him.

"Well, how'd you like an afternoon away from that?" he asked. There was something odd in his voice. He was trying to sound chipper, but I could tell that he really wasn't.

"Um...sure, I guess. What's up?" I wondered.

"Well," he said, pausing to take a deep breath before he continued, "we're holding a press conference at 2:00. I'd really appreciate it if you were there."

"Me?"

"Yeah. See, we're announcing the split with Kari, and I...I could use the moral support," he said in his soft voice.

I was a little surprised that they'd made a decision about the split. He and I hadn't talked about it all that much after Sunday. He'd been pretty busy, and I hadn't been all that eager to get into it, anyway. But I guess I'd have expected him to say something before now.

"If you need me, I'm there. Just tell me when and where," I told him.

He gave me directions, telling me to be there around 1:30. He wanted me there and inside before too many of the reporter types showed up.

"Ok, I'll be there, Kev," I said.

"Thanks, D, I appreciate it. A lot," he replied.

"Not a problem. I'll see ya in a few hours, then. I love you," I whispered the last part.

"Love you, too, Dylan. See ya," he said before he hung up.

I pulled into the parking lot at 25 after. I was running a little behind, but I figured I still had time to make it inside. I was nervous about this whole thing. Something just didn't feel right.

I got out of my car and ran inside. The woman at the receptionist's desk smiled politely at me when I came up to her.

"Hi," I started, "I'm supposed to be here for a press conference for the Backstreet Boys, but I'm not sure where I'm supposed to go."

"Do you have some ID?" she asked. I pulled out my license and handed it to her. She read it and checked a list on her desk before handing it back to me.

"Thank you, Mr. Weston," she said. "You can go right up. It's on the third floor. Just take the elevators there," she pointed to an elevator bank, "up to the third floor. The conference room is to the right."

"Thank you," I replied before turning to walk to the elevators.

When I reached the third floor, I stepped off and turned to my right. There was a man in a suit standing there. He didn't look all that pleased to see me.

"Mr. Weston?" he asked. I nodded, and he stuck out his hand. "I'm Allen Baker, I'm the manager primarily responsible for the Backstreet Boys." I shook his hand.

"It's nice to meet you," I said, trying very hard to sound like it really WAS nice to meet him.

"Come this way. The guys are down here," he said, holding out a hand to indicate I should walk down the hall. He ushered me into an office just past the conference room.

Kevin and the rest of the guys were there. None of them looked very happy. Nick looked downright stressed out. Even Howie, who normally always seemed right with the world, was looking a little...off. No one seemed to notice that I'd come in.

"Kevin, your guest," Allen put a snap on the word, "is here." The guys looked up, finally seeing that I was there. Kevin walked over and gave me a hug.

"Hey, D," he said softly in my ear, "thanks a lot for being here. I really appreciate it." He turned to Allen, the tone in his voice changing. "You can go, Allen. We'll be ready when it's time."

Allen gave me a cold stare before turning to walk out the door. The tension in the room eased a bit when he left, but there was still something going on. Something beyond just announcing the split.

"Did you have any trouble getting out of work?" Kev asked, breaking in on my thoughts.

"No, not really. I told Anna that I'd do some extra time over the weekend to try to make up for it," I said. He nodded.

Nobody said anything after that. Kev and I settled on the couch next to AJ. He was looking rather unsettled, too.

"What's going on, Kevin?" I finally asked.

"What do you mean?" he asked in reply.

"You guys are all acting weird. Nick looks like someone's using him for target practice. If Brian prays any harder, his head's gonna start to glow. AJ looks like he's ready to get all his tattoo's removed and join a monastary. Even Howie's looking like he swallowed a snake for lunch. Now, I'll ask again. What's going on?"

"It's just been a long week is all, D," he said. "We've been fighting with Allen all week, fighting with management in general, and trying to figure out what to do. It's been tough."

"I'm sorry, Kev. If I'd known you were having such a hard time, I would've been here for you," I said, squeezing his hand in mine.

"It's cool, sweetie. I think we needed to work this out, and I know it would've been tough for you to argue it with us."

I nodded, acknowledging that he had a point. Unfortunately, I also felt really guilty that I wasn't there for him this week. I should've been there to help him out as much as I could.

We all just sat there then. A few minutes later, Allen walked back in. I realized it was his office space, but it seemed a bit rude of him not to knock.

"Did you want me to wait here?" I asked Kevin.

"No, you can come in. Just follow behind us and wait in the back, ok?" I nodded in reply, following them out to their press conference.

The flashes exploding were almost blinding. I was glad it was them and not me. I couldn't imagine all of that going off in my face all the time. I couldn't figure out how they could stand it.

The guys took their places behind a table at the front of the room. Kevin was in the center with Brian and Nick on one side and AJ and Howie on the other. There was a bank of microphones in front of Kev on the table. I guessed that he was the one doing the talking today.

I took a moment to look around the room. I was actually surprised at how full it was. Somehow, I thought that the number of reporters who would follow the boys' career this closely would be a little less.

I did recognize one face. He did the news on MTV once in a while. He wasn't a bad looking guy, blonde. I think I remember him saying he was from Nebraska or something when I saw him on the MTV New Year's Eve show. Brian something-or-other. I didn't remember his last name.

"I want to thank everyone for comin' today," Kevin began, bringing everyone's attention to the front. "I have a statement that I'd like to make, then we'll open up for a few questions."

He seemed incredibly calm, cool, and collected. I doubt very many, if any, of these people would realize it, but I could tell he was wound as tight as a drum. He hid his nerves well.

The other guys had put on their poker faces, also. AJ looked downright bored, which I thought was amazing. Howie had once again returned to his serene world. Brian and Nick just sat there, giving small fake smiles to the cameras and looking relaxed and at ease. These guys were good.

"What I'm about to announce is very difficult for me. I feel as if I've let down both my fans out there and my bandmates. But, sometimes our actions are dictated to us before we can evaluate their course. And sometimes, the consequences of those actions can be...more than we're ready to handle."

The bad feeling was coming back again. He was up to something, something that, for whatever reason, I was too dense to pick up on. My bad feeling was compounded by the fact that none of the guys would look at me now.

"I have not been honest with you, with our fans and our public. And now, it's time to set the record straight. To own up to my mistakes and let things fall where they may." He paused a moment, gathering his courage, I guess.

"Two months ago, I, along with the Firm, announced my engagement to Kari Rutherford," he paused again. "This was, in fact, not true." There were some mumbles in the room, as well as a few extra flashes going off.

"The engagement to Kari was a lie. It was a lie that I put out there in order to cover an even bigger lie. Kari is a friend, a very good friend that agreed to help me out when I needed the help," he said.

It finally clicked in my brain. I knew what he was doing. Or I thought I did. I hoped...I prayed...that I was wrong. Because if I was right...

I flashed a look at Nick. He was still staring out at the crowd. I willed him to look at me, to shake his head `no', to let me know that I was wrong about this. That Kevin wasn't doing what I thought he was doing.

Unfortunately, Nick wasn't cooperating. Actually, none of the guys would look in my direction. They all had their well-practiced poses going, still looking relaxed and confident. And it was a lie on every one of them.

I looked over at Allen. Apparently, I wasn't the only one who'd been left in the dark about what the REAL announcement today was going to be. I also wasn't the only one who'd guessed Kevin's true intentions. And, if looks could kill, Kevin would've been splattered all over the wall by now.

"I've been keeping a secret from our public, one which I can no longer in good conscience keep. In a perfect world, this secret wouldn't matter, it wouldn't mean anything. But, this is not a perfect world. And," he finally looked at me, "the price of keeping it finally became too high." He looked back at the crowd.

"I said earlier that my engagement to Kari was a lie. The fact is that I AM engaged, but it's not to Kari," he stopped then. If I didn't know better, I'd have to have said that he was going for drama or something.

"I am engaged to someone I love very much, to someone who means the world to me." His eyes met mine. "To someone that I hope to someday marry," he paused again. Drama queen. "His name is Dylan."

To be continued... ------------------

That's it, folks. Just so you're all aware, I've hit something of a mental block. Since I'm currently about forty chapters ahead, I'll continue to post for a bit. But, be warned...if I don't get past the roadblock, the series may come to an abrupt halt ;-) But, I'll try not to let that happen.

L8r, all...DJ